#also I forgot to edit the year whatever hope you all had a good 2014

[p-clodius-pulcher]

#🙏 #mags babs #I was gonna include clodius due to personal bias but like he doesn’t hauve images on the internet #also I forgot to edit the year whatever hope you all had a good 2014 #2015. whatever #to be clear this was set up just for the last punchline

[arofili]

how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community, 

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

#silm #silm fandom #silmarillion #fan culture #tmi anna #(for real this time sjdfhdkfh) #tefain nin #long post #anon #answers

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

#for mutuals #mutuals don't ask about your titles i was being quirky LMAO #this took so long so i hope it works properly sksks #it hasn't been proofread so enjoy the mess

[shirleylawson]

R&R in Scotland

May 2014

I am telling you! You could not make this shit up!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am convinced I am jinxed. Someone is stabbing a wee voodoo doll with my face on it, and the bastard is not perturbed even though I keep fighting him/her and pretending like it’s water off a ducks back, with my, "bring it on" jinx fairy attitude! And still my jinx keeps trying to break me. But it’s a weird kind of jinxed because I personally feel extremely lucky and blessed, even though the jinx still keeps throwing me shit.

My latest jinxed story is this week I’ve had in Scotland. One week today I’ve been here. I so badly needed a little ME time and to decompress. Scotland/home seemed like the answer but I can't say it' been therapeutic.

I was only here a few days when I woke up with stabbing pains in my chest and an ambulance was called by my Lesley, and the next thing I knew I was lying in the Emergency room in my pink, fluffy, panther onesie (well Lesleys onesie, but it wants to be mine)! I could see on the sphyg that my blood pressure was 250/110 , geezo I thought, didn’t know numbers went that high on these machines! Digital age eh? A lovely, lovely young 1st year resident doctor boy child, who had really just gone into third year at school surely, gave me an IV of morphine and valium that buzzed and whooshed it’s lovely, lovely LOVELY way to my limbs and head within one single minute. Onsie on, hands behind my head, laying back, sun shinning outside and right onto my little stretcher bed, life felt pretty good for about 20 minutes, for the first time in too long to remember. Lesley even managed to get an unexpected day off as ‘’carer'’ to her friend, ‘’NO SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO GO WITH HER, IT’S ME, ONLY ME!!!’’, I heard her scream to her boss down the phone as I was wheeled passed by the paramedics to the ambulance! By the way, when you hear the mee maw mee maw of an ambulance in the distance, and you know it's coming for you, it's the freakiest shit! That was a first for me, it wasn't on my bucket list, but still, it was a first which is always a positive. But I’m lying there, in the emergency room, thinking, in my comfy onesie, where will we go for lunch I wonder. See Mr. Jinx? I really don’t care most of the time, you’re wasting all your good tricks on me really! Things don’t freak me out that much, I’ve pretty much done that seen most of it before so nope, the whole chest pain, ambulance (sorry to tell you but I actually loved the ambulance ride, I was so pleased as I’ve never ridden in one before and always wanted to see the inside), the whole taken to hospital thing was nothing really. I’ve been in more hospitals as a nurse AND as a patient than Mr. Jinxy’s had hot dinners, so he’ll need to try harder. All well, and by the next day I’m lying in Lesleys bright yellow bikini lapping up the ‘’normal’’ sun you get out of Dubai in her garden. A couple of days up North will sort me, get out of the city! So off I go…

No stress, no worries, no pain, no work, no editing, no clients, no husband and no kids…nothing! (all references are not in order of importance!) I felt quite chirpy on my drive up! I was awwwwing and ooooohhhing in all the right places at the beautiful scenery, window open, sun on my face, music on, out the car a couple of times to take pics, all well - not even getting upset that there was road works and I was jammed for an hour, nothing was a bother.  I could smell Loch Lomand…I was a bit euphoric actually! The last 2 hours of the 4 hour journey, my euphoria was taking over by pain in my ankles. I was finding it difficult to use the gas and clutch pedals continuously for 4 hours because of my RA and my ankles and shins were complaining! By the time I swung round that bend that takes you into Oban, and that view that catches your breath from the top of your hill, wee fishing village, typically Scottish with it’s white houses and flowered gardens, it wasn't the view that was catching my breath... it was the agony of my ankles!! I found a place to stay pretty quickly and when I took my socks off in my room, it confirmed my suspicion. Red balloon legs and feet! I thought I’ll go have a shower, get the journey off my skin, take my meds and get into bed. On my drive up, I had stopped at a garage for petrol and also bought some cute little pink lady shaving razors, quite exited me, since I’d been here a week and had about 2 weeks of gorilla legs! So shower and a de fuzzing was waiting. When I get these flares, I get hundreds of little red, what look to me like blood blisters, on my skin wherever the flare is happening, in this instance, the legs. They disappear after the flare goes. You can probably guess what happened next! I’m drying myself outside the shower, in the guest houses fluffy, big, white bath towel and I notice my legs (and big fluffy white towel) were covered in blood! I’ve only gone and forgot about my little red occasional guests and shaved all their heads off!!! Blood!? Whatever they are, these blistery things, they are connected to a direct internal blood vessel system for sure, because they would…not….stop…BLEEDING!  I get myself plugged up with around 100 wee bits of toilet paper stuck to my legs to stop the bleeding. You know, like the kind you see on mens faces after they’ve shaved sometimes? Well, same as them, but only 98 more! I was not gonna be stopped, onwards with my me time, I’m going out for fish and chips!!!!!

Fish and chips didn't prove to be such a good idea either as it turned out. Spotted a lovely wee bench, right on the sea front, all to myself with a view of little old fishing boats and the cry of seagulls, perfect. I'm eating away (great fish and chips I have to say) and I make the first fatal mistake of throwing a bit of fish out on the pebbled shore for the gulls. There's an instant swarm (or should I say flock) of seagulls, screaming and fighting over this piece of fish. Once it was eaten by the most definite gang master, as he was the size of a dog, he looked over at me and I swear he caught my gaze for at least 10 terrifying seconds. He had found the food source! That was the end of it all. I was dive bombed and swooped upon, well my box of chips, which was sitting on my lap was swooped upon. I tried to swipe them away by shouting a shoo shoo kind of chant noise and trying to act as if a swarm of birds attacking me wasn't bothering me as I was now entertaining the entire pub across the road who were all enjoying the lovely evening outside, all watching and pointing at me! I made a quick decision and threw the box down and bolted. Well bolted in my hobble kind of way at the moment, which I'm sure entertained the onlookers even more. An old lady passed me and disapprovingly shook her head at me, ''ohhhh you should't have done that!'' she said. I looked around and every seagull that has ever visited, stayed or immigrated to Oban was in the 4 foot space in front of my bench, fighting and squealing, a mass of feathers and beaks. I decided to give up in this particular day and head back to the guest house to watch the football.

At this point in a flare, I would normally sigh and think well that’s the next 4-5 days gone then. Cancel clients, prepare myself to be horizontal for at least a few days, and not in the horizontal good way, and generally prepare to disappear till it was over (except Facebook of course) Nope, I was there to de stress, me time, that’s what I was told I needed, some ME time, so I wasn’t going to let a flare get in my way. Cutting a very long story short, not a good move, going out, even for fish and chips and seagull gladiator games, didn't improve my flare. To cut another long story short I hobbled my way up to the doctors surgery first thing in the morning, hoping they would take me before three weeks on Wednesday and perchance even today? My luck was in. Jinx was teasing me. Half an hour later I’m having a 4 inch needle of cortisone injected into my ankles and sent away with a 5 days supply of steroids, bliss!  I hobbled back to my guest house at twice the speed of the first time. Still slower than the 80 year old couple I was chatting with along the way, but still, it was progress. I hobble past my guest house and head for the car park as my ticket expired one hour before. Is there any point on telling you what was on my car? £60 fine! Exceeding the paid amount of time parked. No, no i don’t care I tell myself, my flare feels so much better, I might even be able to drive tomorrow and leave, not getting upset, it's  only money (shit) and I feel better which is more important. I go to the machine and pay enough to last till 9am the next morning. I sit in the passenger seat, door open and write the nice traffic warden person a note. I say, please don’t give me another ticket if i don’t manage down before 9am. The doctor at the surgery can confirm I’m not able to walk well at the moment due to an illness, here is my phone number, I am staying at a guest home 5 minutes away. Nice note. Should do the trick. I stick the note to the inside of the passenger window and a gust of wind blows the newly bought ticket out of my hand. I tried to grab it but landed on my knees from the car door. Kneeling on all fours, head bend back watching the ticket swirl around in the wind was the first time I thought, it really is getting to be a bit much this jinx business! I don’t have anymore change. I have a £5 note. I head off down the street to find a shop to get change. I pass a young mother sitting in her garden bench on her ipad, trying to ignore the constant moaning and screaming of her three small children playing around her. I really felt sad thinking how she’ll regret that when they leave home, and wished she had spent every second looking at their wee faces instead of an iPad. Then I realise I sound like an old granny and stopped that train of thought. First shop I pass is Farm Foods (a frozen food store) and I decide an ice lolly would be just the thing. Of course it’s a whole sale, bulk buying freezer place, so I can’t buy ONE ice lolly. I buy a box of 6 and give 5 to the woman on the bench for her kids as I pass her again. Kids are delighted!

New ticket on the car, the note is there too, I’m back in my room, legs elevated, medicated up, just watched the Italy game (world cup) and wondering what tomorrow will bring.

Start of a new week, my second week in Scotland starts tomorrow.

But all said and done, I must ask the new tenants in Rome if they threw away the dish of frozen water in the freezer with the two frozen names written on pieces of paper in it? I don’t think I told them about it and explained what it was. I told the last renters and I know it was there last summer coz I saw it, so they hadn’t touched it in 3 years. I think the new renters have thrown it away. Those two names I had in the freezer will have escaped! My spell will be broken. They will have put their jinx back on me… I’m sure of it! Although that wouldn’t explain all the jinx’s when they were in the freezer these past three years now would it? Hmmmm I don’t think this white witch spell works actually now that I think about it.

My phone has just broken, screens just gone black. I can still hear it ring or sms’s come in, but I can’t reply or answer as it’s just black. Shame I sold that new phone last week. :(

The end

[violetemerald]

Or watch the version with all sorts of potentially distracting, potentially just explanatory, text on top of the  screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htd9luUsMe8

I had to delete the first copy of the no-text version and re-render/re-upload because I forgot to list Shameless as a fandom in the end credits. And I wanted to fix a small 1 frame black gap. But yeah there are actually 33 fandoms, not 32, I had missed one when counting them up, whoops!! XD For the original posting with the text all over, the original text version, I’m not deleting and re-posting because it’s an entry in a contest, but the mistakes are still present in there. But yeah this is my entry for the 3rd and Final round of the Who You Are contest GlowingAprilSky has been hosting, season 2. The round was called "Journey Backwards" and the rules stated here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVJHoaJ-cDE explain: "Start from where you are now, and go back to the beginning of your story. Show me all about you and your story." 

Ask if you want me to type up the voiceovers.

Starting off with where I'm at currently in my life, I just turned 28 years old and I'm:

1. starting to do real Asexual Activism including last weekend I presented at one workshop and at one caucus at the Creating Change (an LGBTQ) conference in my city, I'm

2. employed and doing well at my administrative assistant type contractor job in a government building, I'm

3. learning to face my grief over my friend perpetrating a murder-suicide. See this video for more info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGPFGnZ3XEE

4. I live with my wonderful dad as an adult with no intention of moving out anytime soon, and my dad has been having a few health diagnosis things lately and needs heart surgery to put in a defibrillator very soon

(Now those 4 are all kinda overlapping and at once. I'm trying to do this whole vid in reverse-chronological order, but my dad specifically found out in December he'd need to get a defibrillator ASAP so that a fairly likely sudden heart event will, instead of almost certainly killing him, much more likely him surviving it, surgery has now been scheduled for February, whereas it was still the end of November when my suicidal podcasting partner murdered his wife before ending his own life. But my grief over that friend of mine I did a podcast with, the part of this that is “my story”, is an ongoing thing (as grief often is)-that spans both before and after me finding out about my dad's recent news with his health. Similarly ongoing is me living with him as it's a “for many years” situation that's still important to capture SOMEWHERE for an autobiographical vid. Etc. So I was trying my best and picking when and how to capture a lot of this.

The car crash happened when I was distracted and near-tears over my breakup because of the music I was listening to too intensely and I think that's one of the "life events in my story" that I won't be forgetting any time soon.

So much of this vid is more personal than I can explain, little choices of scenes that ring truer than you could even know.

I think blogging helped me a lot with processing my asexuality and my mother's abuse, and I did it for years and still do it. I started about my mom on tumblr in 2010 even maybe but my real WordPress blog I started in 2014.

Around 1:43-1:48 in the video is me having started attending Asexual Meetups in mid-2014! Which is a HUGE deal, all my closest friends since then were pretty much from that group plus I organize the meetups a lot of the time now, host in my house etc!

Right after that, 1:48-1:52 I kinda "gloss over" my uncle's suicide which really was a pretty huge traumatic deal, and I still am grieving him in some ways, of course I am, he was such a great guy. I went on a suicide prevention walk last summer (2016) with him in mind but that didn't make it into the video, eventually I'll finish a full vid themed just around loved ones of suicidal people, I already started such a vid around then...

I really stressed before I knew about asexuality about being a 22 year old person who had never been kissed, being a 23 year old virgin, about being a social failure. I believed the amatonormative idea's like what John says to Sherlock ( https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/amatonormativity-expectations/ ) and I tried online dating and finally went on a date and had a first kiss, as soon as I healed from my foot surgery. I had this final foot surgery right after I graduated college. I spent a lot of my life on crutches, in casts, if you add up all 3 surgeries, the chronic foot pain after I first broke it is an important part of "my story" so I wanted to jam it in there. Go OTH for having a realistic recovery time and elevating Haley's foot a lot. ;) Not the 5 pillow high like me since it was so painful and needed to be so elevated but... STILL. XD

Blake on Criminal Minds is maybe the only Linguist I've ever seen on TV? Not realistic at all and I think a lot of what they call Forensic Linguistics is just myth and Criminal Minds is a pretty imperfect show but whatever. :P

I also "glossed over" just how important and involved I was in atheist circles, although the fact that I later volunteered for a hotline where people might call in and say "I think I'm an atheist" for 2.5 years maybe gives you some idea. My podcast was about atheism, and I also occasionally organize atheist meetups and regularly attend some atheist and freethinker meetup groups since around mid-2015. I'd like to probably make a full length atheism vid at some point. :P Which is a weird topic but I'd like to try. There's... There's NO good representation that goes far enough at all on TV, but I appreciate Grey's Anatomy a lot for doing what they've done with Jackson, and I'm glad Kurt on Glee was an atheist while being a beloved person who isn't even known for being too scientific or anything. Appreciate less that Grey's Anatomy, in season 14's premiere, seemingly erased Amelia's atheism that was first present on Private Practice (see this vid above)... :P

I withdrew from Chemistry, Semantics 2, and Infectious Human Disease in college. Those left W's on my transcript, which are better than failing. I had to make up the credits by taking summer classes at a different college in order to graduate on time (took French and Biological Athropology classes as my credits instead over two summers). I also "dropped", penalty free, Russian, and Medieval Spanish History. Senior year of high school I was living with my grandmother and lonely and became truly unhealthily addicted to vidding, which I still clearly am now a decade later but I think vidding is a part of my story that didn't make it into the vid (perhaps that would have been too meta?) lol... but I started then, senior year of high school, to get worse grades. My straight-A, I'm naturally smart and will succeed and am a little bit of a perfectionist tendencies were suddenly just flipped and not true really?? XD

Hopefully most of this is fairly self-explanatory. The court stuff could be pretty traumatic so I tried to capture those feelings... I've vidded stuff about my abusive mom before and about Beverly/Scarlett in general, and about Maggie/Abby in both a collab and my first ever personal vid about my mom... I was trying to vid mainly stuff I haven't before in those vids. :) I appreciate for my own sake the variety. And I rushed the ending to squeeze in some of me as a little kid.

I think I still belong with my dad, my whole life is tied together by my great dad. :) But also I just liked that Molly is a young girl and happy and that smile would be a fun way to end the video... :P I wasn't sure when I was editing it that that scene was really about my dad, until I was adding the text on top of the screen.

There is plenty left out but I'm pretty happy with this current result in terms of most of the really significant parts of my life story.

I think this song is about wanting "To let go of the pain I've held so long", to get from the bad to somewhere better. I think I'm pretty close to finding somewhere I belong in my life. I think this summarizes my past pretty well though, it's a little too angsty of a song but the lyrics are honestly HOPEFUL in some ways. It's about, as the bridge says, knowing yourself now that you do this on your own, it's about wounds healing, finding yourself!

Anyway... if you've read the whole description, WOW thank you for being so invested in learning more about my life. :P

#multi-fandom #actually asexual #abusive mother #fanvideo #atheism

[yasbxxgie]

A Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul are often discussed as musical peers. As members of the Native Tongues, their first four releases follow a similar timeline, and both groups received a coveted five mic rating from The Source for their debut albums. They collaborated many times over the years and influenced countless artists and musicians. Yet despite all the similarities, one key difference has stunted De La’s career. Although they continue to tour and put out new music, you can’t buy the bulk of their back-catalogue on any digital platform. You also won’t find much of their work on Spotify. This can be devastating for musicians, as so many people stream music or buy music their music through Amazon, Bandcamp, and iTunes. People can still purchase early De La Soul on Cassette, CD, and vinyl, but having a small digital presence limits their ability to generate passive income and gain new listeners.

The group’s feelings about the situation reached peak frustration in 2014. As Posdnous put it in a Rolling Stone interview, “We’ve been blessed to be in the Library of Congress, but we can’t even have our music on iTunes.” Tired of missing out on opportunities for new listeners and rediscovery, De La posted their entire body of work for free download for 25 hours. The free download helped commemorate the 25 year anniversary of their 1989 debut 3 Feet High and Rising. This decision resulted in a fair amount of media attention, but the problem remains. Despite the fact that sample-heavy albums like the Beastie Boys Paul’s Boutique and Girl Talk’s Night Ripper remain available on iTunes, I can’t re-buy any of De La’s earlier work and support my favorite rap group of all time. (I should note that while Paul’s Boutique remains available, the Beastie Boys have been sued over samples used on the album multiple times.)

In addition to the problems this situation has caused De La Soul, it also limits the exposure the co-producer of De La’s first three albums, Prince Paul, receives. Despite producing the majority of 3 Feet High and Rising and playing a significant role in the production of De La Soul is Dead and Buhloone Mindstate, Paul’s ability to benefit from his back catalogue of work is limited in a way that DJ Premier’s is not. This is unfortunate on many levels. In era where producers are scared to sample for fear of expensive lawsuits, De La Soul’s early albums serve as a pristine example of how good sample-based music can sound when done right. De La and Prince Paul’s production is a perfect demonstration of how rap can unite disparate and diverse influences into one perfect song. An expensive lawsuit from the rock group The Turtles and updated copyright laws should not be the deciding factor in whether or not people can access this music. These are remarkable albums and I fear that the world’s collective memory of them is fading.

The thought of people forgetting about these albums makes me sad, so I’ve decided to update and publish several interviews I did with Prince Paul a few years back discussing his work with De La. After reading our interviews, I hope you will feel inspired and want to experience these albums. Whether it will be a process of hearing them for the first time or a process of rediscovery, I want you to tweet @amazonmusic and @iTunes or reach out to them through other platforms and let them know you would like to see the early De La Soul albums made available.

The first interview I will share looks back on the creation of 3 Feet High and Rising. Enjoy.

...

Gino: What sort of production equipment were you guys using on 3 Feet High And Rising?

Prince Paul: We were using a 24-track two inch reel. It might have actually been a 32-track board. I believe Sound Workshop was the name of the company that made it. As far as samplers, we were using the Akai S-900, which had just come out, an E-mu SP-12, and a Casio sampler like an SK-5. We also had a Juno. I can’t remember the exact model number. That was basically it, that equipment and a bunch of records.

Gino: I understand that the records you guys sampled came from a variety of sources. Dante Ross would have some records, De La would have some records, and a mixture of different people would bring records by. Is that accurate?

Prince Paul: Not to discredit Dante, but I don’t think we used any of Dante’s records for that album. (Laughs) But yeah, it was a combination of me, Pos, Dave, and Mase. We combined our collections. We more or less gathered what our families listened to and collected over the years. Pos had a deep collection. His dad had some really obscure records, which helped us out a lot. I’d been collecting forever and I always had weird records. Everybody came to the table with their own little thing. It was almost like we were trying to outdo each other, like “Oh, look what I got!” That’s why the album sounds so layered out. We just kept adding stuff to it.

Gino: Did you teach everyone else the technical aspects of production or did the rest of De La bring their own knowledge to the table?

Prince Paul: In those days, especially with 3 Feet High, it was primarily me because I was already working with Stet. I was a little familiar with the studio, but I wasn’t that good. Luckily I had really good engineers with me or what I deemed to be good engineers at the time. I fronted like I knew everything just to make the De La guys comfortable. I’d say, “Yeah, let’s gate that and compress this.” Meanwhile I didn’t know what half the things did. But I knew enough about what the different equipment did and its capabilities to get by. That helped. That opened them up to being more imaginative with how to chop things up, sample, and pitch things.

Gino: Do you think that’s part of the reason why the album came out the way it did? Since you guys weren’t seasoned veterans with production, it seems like there was a certain innocence and experimental vibe to the album.

Prince Paul: Yeah, without a doubt man. There are tons of mistakes on that album. I’ll listen to it and go, “Oops. That was a mistake, there’s a mistake, that’s a mistake.” There’s a part of “Me Myself And I” where the music drops out and that was a mistake. Me and Pos used to mix everything by hand. We didn’t have automation. Everything was kind of on the fly as the song went along. There was a part where one of us was supposed to leave the beat in, and we forgot. We just looked at each other, threw it back in on time and said, “Eh, that’s good enough.” (Laughs)

We could have easily edited the pieces together on tape, but we liked to do everything from beginning to end manually. We didn’t feel like doing it all over so we were like, “Nobody will know the difference. They don’t know how it’s supposed to go.” That’s what that whole album is. You can hear things like people talking in the background and the doors opening to the booth. It was horrible. But it made it work.

Gino: To be honest with you, since I’m a younger guy, I didn’t start listening to the album until almost a decade after it’s release when I was in middle school. I don’t think there has ever been an album that comes close to 3 Feet High in terms of how imaginative it is.

Prince Paul: Wow, thanks. I appreciate that. If you had listened to it in the era it came out in, it probably would have freaked you out even more. When that album came out we treaded on territory that nobody was willing to go. I just remember people scratching their heads. Either you really liked it or you hated it. It was an extreme record and it was radical in it’s time. But I’m glad you picked it up and liked it. I guess that it shows it has a little bit of staying power.

Gino: One of my favorite tracks on the album is “Eye Know.” I love the Steely Dan sample. Could you talk a little bit about who came up with the idea to sample “Peg” and how you developed the song’s concept?

Prince Paul: I have to give Pos a lot of credit for that one. He’s the one who more or less conceptualized it. He said, “Hey, these are the songs I want to use.” For me, particularly on that song, I had to say, “Ok. Let me make it work. This is how we do it.” That was the working relationship with me and De La in those days. Wherever their imagination went and whatever songs they wanted to use, it was up to me to figure out how to sample it and make it into a song.

We were 3/4 of the way into the album and Pos had come in and initially laid down the beat for “Eye Know.” I was impressed because that was a result of the time spent showing them the ropes with production. I literally sat there and showed them how to produce. As opposed to just doing it for them, I was trying to teach them. My intention was to just work with them on that one album and then have them do the rest of their albums themselves. When I came in the studio, Pos had laid down the basic format of the song. I was like impressed. And then it was just a matter of sprinkling whatever else on to make it right. But yeah, Pos should definitely take the credit for putting that song together.

Gino: You say that you were setting them up to go on alone after 3 Feet High, yet you ended up staying on for their next two albums. Was that a surprise?

Prince Paul: For me it was flattering. When De La Soul Is Dead started up, they hit me up and said, “We know you said you weren’t going to do the next album but we’d like for you to work with us on the next one. You’re part of the group and part of the family.” That was nice. That’s why the second and third album came about the way they did.

I told them early on in our relationship, “My whole thing is to do this one album and then have you guys go do your own thing.” When I was in Stetsasonic, I always felt like I had a limited say in things. I thought I had some really good ideas, but you can only get so many of your own ideas across when you have such a big group. I always felt stifled.

That’s more or less the reason that De La Soul came about. I needed a creative outlet and they came at the right place and the right time. I used them as my creative outlet. But I didn’t want them to feel like I did in Stet. My whole intention was to do the one album, show them how to do things in the studio, and then have them do their second and third album, if they were going to have one. We didn’t know back then.

Gino: So they only had a one album deal?

Prince Paul: Back then labels always tried to lock you in for ten albums or something insane. They’d give you a contract and say, “Here’s a ten album deal that expires in 2000-something.” You’d be like, “Whoa, that’s crazy,” but you didn’t know any better so you’d sign it anyway. That was standard back then, to sign your life away.

Gino: You had a quote in Brian Coleman’s Check The Technique where you said, “If there was ever a sign of the existence of god, De La Soul would that be proof to me. I’ve never had such a perfect fit in any other production situation.”

Prince Paul: That’s definitely true. To this day it still amazes me. How did we find each other? I don’t think that any other producer would have worked for them and I don’t think any other group would have worked for me at that time. Working with De La Soul set the pace for who I really was.

Those early records and what they allowed me to do defined me as a producer. It gave me an air of conceit. A lot of those early De La records have that air of conceit. Records like “Take It Off” are us saying, “No, I won’t be doing that. That’s for you guys.” And that has stuck with me today. It defines my production. I was already heading in the direction of being obscure, but De La Soul made me put my pinky up while I was drinking tea.

...

Check out some of De La Soul and Prince Paul’s catalogue on iTunes here and here. You can also follow De La and Paul on Twitter @wearedelasoul and @djprincepaul.

This is a modified and updated version of an article that first appeared on The Smoking Section in August of 2008. Many thanks to John Gotty for giving me permission to republish it. Also, many thanks to Ethan Brown for helping me contact Paul for the first time several years ago.

#prince paul #de la soul #hip-hop #hip hop #music #black music #medium #3 feet high and rising

[dbwords]

I Moved to Australia!

On January 14, 2017, I picked up *almost* all my possessions in 2 very heavy suitcases and went to the airport at 7 in the morning. Together with my family and my closest friends, we braved the cold of that Canadian winter, and made the small journey that begins the bigger journey.

Going to the airport is very emotional. Either someone is leaving, or someone is arriving! As someone who doesn't travel by plane too often, I get this fun feeling when I go to the airport of, “Oh, let’s just buy the cheapest ticket and go somewhere!” I’m sure you know the feeling. But this time I actually was going somewhere! And it wasn’t just for a little getaway...

2.5 years ago, in the (Canadian) summer of 2014, I was introduced to a side of Hillsong that I never knew existed. I’ve listened to their music for years, and knew a little bit about the College they have. However, I just thought it was a Pastoral and Music school, because everyone I knew that had gone did one of those two things. One of these people -his name is Ian- I came to know in May 2014. He went to Hillsong College for Music, but I met him because he was directing a documentary that my church was involved in. As this documentary came to a close, I saw on Instagram that Ian had said something about how doing this directing made him want to go back to Hillsong College to take their TV & Media Stream. Being into filmmaking and videos and cameras myself, it instantly peaked my interest. I had no idea that Hillsong College offered a TV course! I went to their website and starting researching this course. Seeing the website, it instantly hit me, “This is it. This is what you have to do.”

Okay, so what do you do with that? I was 17 at the time, I still had to finish Grade 11, and was just about to go into Grade 12. So I had bigger things to think about, like just getting good grades and finishing High School. But at the same time, the very real reality that Graduation was coming quick was staring me in the face. 

For a little while, it was all I could think about. That summer, I told my parents. Despite me springing it on them by quite literally telling them as we were about to sit down for supper, they were very supportive and excited! That’s been a huge blessing for me my whole life, is that my parents have always believed in me and had my back. I think it’s partially why I felt I could do this, because I knew I had such a strong support system at home. They never once, before or after telling them, told me that I HAD to go to school and do something “real”. They trusted me, and more importantly, God, enough to let me dream and chase after what ever passion was on my heart. So the weeks and months carried on, and I actually kind of forgot. Well, not actually forgot, but I got busy, so it was put on the back-burner. But, like, the one thats so cold it might not start. My mom would bring it up now and then, and I would sort of shrug it off. Not wanting to answer, or think about my future. She didn't nag me about it, but as time went on, she was still bringing it up, so I started thinking about it more, and realized that there was nothing else that I wanted to do. Even though I had left it alone for awhile, I was still so sure that this was it. So Grade 12 carried on, and as everyone was stressing about applying for Universities and all that, I was able to truly enjoy my last days in High School, because there was nothing that was gonna persuade me away from Hillsong College. I knew this was God’s plan for my life. 

I began to get more and more interested in filmmaking, and got a random job here and there. I was also fortunate enough to get a steady job at the University of Alberta Bookstore a month out of High School. It’s funny, I didn't want to go to University as a student, so I worked there instead. That job was awesome, and probably the best non-video related job I’ll ever have. During High School, and a bit during the summer, I was able to build my Freelance portfolio a bit, but I got too busy with the Bookstore and wasn’t able to take any jobs while working there. Then the job ended at the end of January, and I was lost. That’s probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to depression. Even though I had all the time in the world to make any video I wanted, I had no drive to do so. Some days, I barely got out of bed, let alone make a video for myself or a client. I spent my days at home with my mom, looking for jobs online that I didn't want, and wasting time on my computer, not getting any real work done.

It wasn't until late March or April until I started getting out of the house more. Guess where I spent most of my time outside of my house? My church. It’s my second home, and I was able to work on some video stuff for my church during that time. Doing this work got me back in the spirit of filmmaking, and in early May, I reached out to an old contact that I knew was in “The Biz”. I showed him my film reel that I was able to edit during that time off, and we met for coffee. I knew he was working on and releasing a documentary, so I offered my services for whatever they needed. At this coffee meeting, we were able to chat and share and connect so naturally, despite not seeing each other in about 2 years. We had barely known each other to begin with. Our friendship being so strong was honestly God. He knew that this was what I needed, and Joses (the guy) also needed the help. I started volunteering as a second editor at their Production Office the following week, and that carried on through the summer. It was so much fun, and I was able to be part of some really awesome stuff, and do some things that I’m proud to put my name on.

An opportunity came to go back to the University of Alberta to work, and being in the position of need some more stable finances, I took it. This time, the job was in Parking Services. Basically, I walked around the University campus looking for people who hadn't paid for parking. Yeah, I was “that guy”. It was the perfect job for the time I got it. I knew I needed something to help me out before I came to Australia, and this was it. It was good pay, but I’m glad it was just for that short season. I don’t think I could see myself there for the long haul. It just wasn't me. So that took me right up to Christmas 2016. I had an amazing, relaxing break with friends and family, and started to get prepared to move. There were a lot of things that I had to take care of over the course of the year to make moving a reality, so in January all I had to do was pack. The first two weeks of January 2017 flew by, and the 14th came, and this crazy adventure began. 

If there is something specific you would like to know more about, or just have something to say, feel free to contact me! Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you got something out of my story. God bless you.

Daniel Brown - 2017

#I moved to australia #aussie #the land of oz #story #testimony #hillsong #hillsong college #sydney #sydney australia