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afraidparade · 1 year

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"A Kinder Reality"

Word count: 3,088 Genre: G/T, Hurt/comfort, Angst Content warnings: Detailed depictions of panic attacks/intrusive thoughts, mentions & allusions to gore, death, and suicide, fearplay, possessive behavior

(PLEASE read the CWs as this one is a bit darker than some of my other stuff! sorry if it gets a bit heavy lolol. i tried to base this off of my own personal experiences, as i often have memory problems as a result of vivid dreams and intrusive thoughts that give me a lot of anxiety. there's also not a ton of hurt/comfort where the giant is the one hurting so i hope this fills that emptiness 👍)

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Luka’s eyes snapped open, the sudden light he had yet to adjust to making it impossible to differentiate up from down. His fingertips clawed into the sheets around him, as if grasping desperately for purchase on an incomplete thought he held in his hands only a moment prior. What was this? Where had he been until now? It was difficult to recall the details, but the ache of breathlessness in his chest and the icy sweat that saturated his nightclothes was evidence that the experience had been far from pleasant.

He remembered feeling alone, yet surrounded. Helpless, but he wasn’t quite certain of what it was that threatened him. There was a room with chairs and people and…something else. Something that he was desperately terrified of. And it wasn’t that those faceless figures around him refused to respond to his cries and offer him aid, because he didn’t cry at all. He didn’t make a sound. It was a dreadful sensation, sitting in that room and feigning calm, surrounded by those human-shaped husks. There was an overbearing presence behind him: the terrifying thing. Some sort of shadowy monster that sulked in a corner of the ceiling yet simultaneously managed to breathe down his neck. Luka could just feel its predatory anticipation, waiting for him to turn around, or speak, or blink, or any action it deemed unacceptable. He was sure it was there, yet no one else paid it any mind. Could they see it? Could they feel it? Did they even care that it was there? Did they even care that he was there? If the thing lunged down and ripped him apart right in front of their hollow eyes, would anyone even flinch? Perhaps they would feel grateful to the monster for ridding them of such a burden. Perhaps they would all be happier if he weren’t—

Luka pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and swallowed. Dry. Water, he should drink water. Shapes began to form in the fuzzy white void of his vision, and the man soon recognized the wall of his bedroom. Which meant all those vague and terrible memories had just been made-up. A dream. A rasp of air blew through his chapped lips, as if he was attempting to laugh out of spite. What a cruel joke. He already got a pitiful amount of sleep as it was, and now he couldn’t even be afforded the luxury of feeling rested when he woke up? Well, such was life, he supposed. At least now he wasn’t alone.

At least now…he wasn’t…

Luka froze, and his head throbbed. The space on the mattress beside him was unoccupied. He managed to twist his neck to survey the other side of the room, enduring another sharp surge of pain in his skull. Empty. His lips parted, but he stayed silent.

Wasn’t there supposed to be someone else there?

A third, more definitive pulse in his head caused Luka’s eyes to wrench shut. His hands shot upwards to nurse the pain away, but when that didn’t work, his fingers became more frantic, each scratching at his hairline as if they had a mind of their own. There was some sort of vile growth blocking his airway. He didn’t know where it came from. It felt like the same sort of inky malevolence that the carnivorous presence from before was composed of.

Was this…real? Had he actually woken up?

He coughed, wheezing around the lump in his throat, panic setting in when he realized he couldn’t breathe. His diaphragm spasmed, and nausea followed soon after. His mouth was open, but if Luka was crying or screaming, he couldn’t tell. His sense of hearing had been reduced to a flat, monotone buzz.

How could he be certain that this wasn’t the dream? That every memory of having someone beside him, someone that actually cared about him, weren’t just artificial fragments of a bright, fuzzy dreamscape his brain made to protect itself? How was he supposed to know which memories to trust?

A dark ring began to close in around the corners of his vision, blotting out his surroundings like the final scene of an old film. Maybe it was from the lack of oxygen. Maybe it was just a trauma response. But Luka couldn’t bear this feeling, not being able to tell whether he was tumbling or stationary, awake or asleep, alive or dead. If he was alone again.

Again.

Again, again, again, it always happened, he always ended up like this. As if he was always destined to be an afterthought to everyone around him. As if it really wouldn’t matter if a monster swallowed him whole. And bitterly, with the last scrap of his consciousness that could form coherent thoughts, he wondered which reality was kinder: one where he’d tasted love and fulfillment only to discover it was never his to keep, or one where he’d never experienced such bitter joys, and never knew the severity of losing them.

Maybe he could wake up in the room with the people and the monster. Maybe then, even if it was for a second, someone would spare him a compassionate glance while that shadowy beast tore into his ribcage and—

“…ka?”

There was something warm on Luka’s cheek. Tears? No. Though it was only now that he noticed their presence, those felt chilly and wet. It was a small pressure, but it radiated familiarity. A shaky, sudden inhale — his consciousness felt so faint, he barely registered it as his own — and a question were the first sounds to break through the fuzzy, intangible blockade around his ears.

“What happened?”

It took several deep, uneven breaths and bewildered blinks before Luka could manage to see just past his nose. A humanoid shape finally came into focus, but unlike the figures in the other room, this one had a face. And, upon closer inspection, wasn’t human at all. Deep, glossy pools of black with white pinprick pupils stared wide at him with concern, and from behind a quivering frown, he could make out tiny, pointed teeth. Reddish horns, an absolute rat’s nest of black hair, and an ill-fitting shirt stitched together by his own clumsy hands, all wrapped up in a three-inch package. The details were too intimate to be mistaken for a dream.

It was Faust. His wonderful, impossible, real Faust.

Luka couldn’t muster the coherence to form words. Aside from the fogginess he felt after finally, truly waking up, he was still parched, and his throat felt bruised from his battle for breath. A hand retracted from his face, the palm damp from the tears it had inadvertently smeared around, and slowly reached towards the confused demon. Faust reached out for it without a moment’s hesitation, causing Luka’s fingers to twitch in surprise. He was real. It was miraculous. He was real.

But that looming dread from before still gripped at his chest unyieldingly. What if one day Luka woke up and he really was gone? How would he be able to bear being thrown from one cruel reality to the next without the reprieve of someone else to comfort him? No, not just anyone else, but Faust. There was no one else. It had to be Faust.

What would he do if he lost Faust?

Luka didn’t know what he was doing. His body moved almost robotically, stuttering every now and then as his brain tried to process how to proceed, all while his unblinking gaze lost focus and bore forward into the same nothingness. His fingers curled around Faust’s body rigidly, and while the demon didn’t protest, he began to shift uncomfortably. The human’s hand pulled back towards his body, his grip unconsciously tightening as it moved, only stopping when his companion was held flush against his chest and there was no space left for his hand to retreat to.

“Luka, this is— it’s kind of hard to breathe.”

Luka could hear him, so why couldn’t he stop? He didn’t want to hurt Faust. He would never do something like that. But he was so small. Even if daily life with a tiny imp had become routine, it didn’t change the fact that he was so very vulnerable. Ultimately powerless in the grand scheme of things. Beautifully unique, terrifyingly unique. There was no one else in the entire world like Faust. The big, dangerous, lonely world. Yes, it was so easy to keep him in place. It hardly took any effort at all. This was simply a reassurance that he had the means to keep Faust safe. To keep him close. To make him stay.

“Y-your heartbeat is crazy fast right now. Seriously, are you okay? I need you to respond to me, Luka!”

Luka’s chin lowered to brush against the hand trapping Faust in place, and without realizing it, his entire body had begun to curl around that point as well. It felt as though Faust was the very core of his entire person. This was beyond normal love, wasn’t it? This was obsession. Sick dependency. It disgusted him so, and yet his body refused to do anything but curl tighter. Like a boa constrictor wrapping around its next meal. Would he end up squeezing Faust until he stopped moving, too? It would be easy, Luka thought. Not that he wanted to. But it chilled him to know that he could.

“Don’t make me do this, Luka. I really don’t want to do this.”

Ah, this was what it felt like when they first met. The knowledge that he held this impossibly small being’s life in the literal palm of his hand, the understanding that he could take advantage of that, and the searing hatred Luka felt for himself when he did. It was horrible, but it was intoxicating, and he didn’t want it back, but a wretched part of him missed it. When exactly did he manage to overcome this feeling, Luka pondered? Somewhere along the way of falling for Faust? Realizing he’d need to change if he ever wanted Faust to reciprocate? Well, what did it truly matter if Faust reciprocated? Faust didn’t have to love him. He just needed to be here. He just needed to stay. Luka needed him to stay.

“…So be it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

God, he was rotten. And delusional, too, to think he had actually changed. People don’t change. At least not people like Luka. Destined to be alone, again and again and again and again. He hated being alone. He hated himself. He hated this feeling. He hated that goddamn room from that goddamn dream. What was even the point? Why did he bother trying to fix something shattered beyond repair? What was stopping him from—

“Ca-li-for-nia girls, we’re unforgettable! Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!”

…

What?

“Sun-kissed skin so hot, we’ll melt your popsicle — wa-oohhh-ah-oohhh-oh, wa-oohhh-ah-oohhh-oh…”

Faust’s muffled voice faded after the last vocalization, possibly waiting to see if there was a response. Or possibly due to being out of breath. After that, total stillness descended on the scene. Almost as if someone had merely pushed the power button on a remote and turned off all the static in Luka’s brain. It took a moment for him to process what in the hell had just happened, but after rewiring itself, his brain recalled a certain fact he knew he could always rely on:

Faust was a terrible singer.

Once his lungs finally remembered how to inhale, his body relaxed from its tensed and coiled state, releasing the small demon from his desperate grasp. As his vision slowly came into focus again, Luka inspected Faust’s state worriedly, suddenly horrified that he may have actually inflicted harm on his roommate. He was flushed red from a combination of the larger man’s overwhelming body heat and the intense pressure that likely inhibited his breathing, but other than a few gasps and coughs, he seemed surprisingly unbothered. Which was relieving first and foremost, but upsetting in its own right. He deserved to be upset. He deserved to resent Luka. The man swallowed as he attempted to regain his voice.

“...I hate that song,” he rasped plainly. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah. I know,” Faust replied, still panting as he glanced upward, “I was sorta hoping that the hate and the shock would overpower…whatever it was you were feeling.”

Luka’s mouth hung agape. Had Faust really hinged both the wellbeing of himself and Luka on…an annoying pop song? And that actually worked? He couldn’t tell if the demon was an idiot or a genius. It was so ridiculous on so many layers that he simply couldn’t think about anything else. Those overbearing thoughts from mere moments prior vanished in a puff of smoke, just like that. Eventually he closed his mouth and allowed a small, warm grin to replace the anguish from before. He never smiled like this before meeting Faust. Funny, Luka thought, how very different his inner demons looked from the miniscule demon that stood before him.

“It did. Thank you.”

“God, you sound like shit,” the imp grumbled. Luka took the not-so-subtle hint and slowly sat himself upright, fumbling for the bottle of water that he kept on his bedside table. “What even happened? I had only just left to find myself something to snack on, but I turned back when I heard you making weird noises. Next thing I know, you’re suffocating me.”

Luka hesitated as he brought the bottle to his lips. An intense feeling of shame weighed down on his body as he recalled his actions, as well as the thoughts that accompanied them. It was probably better that Faust didn’t know every last detail of what brought his panic attack on…specifically, the thoughts concerning him. Sure, they had roots in the anxieties that Luka harbored in the back of his mind, but in that feverish state they had been amplified a hundred fold. They weren’t his true feelings. Or so he hoped, anyways

“I just…had a nightmare,” he answered simply, taking a swig from the container. Faust’s eyes narrowed, clearly unconvinced that there was no other trigger for such an extreme episode, but he held his tongue. After all, he was in no place to doubt the impact of nightmares. Luka, not wanting to dwell in the uncomfortable silence any longer, continued, “I’m so sorry for putting you through that. It must’ve been scary. Are you hurt?”

The smaller shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s fine. I’ve been through a lot worse.”

Luka wiped at a trail of water that trickled out of the corner of his mouth before capping the bottle. That was right — they had both trudged through hell just to make it to that very morning together, hadn’t they? Faust’s trophy was a back full of scars. Luka’s was a drawer full of pill bottles. It was difficult to liken his own traumatic experiences to Faust’s – especially when the other’s past was still largely a mystery to him – but there was comfort in knowing they could relate to each other on a basic level. That they…weren’t alone. Maybe all the trouble up until then was worth it just to share each other’s company. Of course, it was possible Faust didn’t feel the same way. But he didn’t need to feel the same way. It was enough that he was there.

Luka sighed and turned to Faust again. Given his state from a few minutes ago, it was remarkable how calm he felt now. Maybe that, too, was thanks to his companion’s presence.

“Did you ever get your snack?” he asked softly.

“No,” Faust huffed with a sharp thrash of his tail. After a pause, the small imp folded his arms and turned his pouting face away, adding with a grumble, “I can’t exactly get to the kitchen in just a few steps like you can.”

Cute, Luka cooed inwardly. It was a thought that he would verbalize on any other day just to watch the resulting adorable tantrum, but for now he figured he’d put Faust through enough.

“Well then, would you allow me to make a nice breakfast as an apology for earlier? I think there’s enough pancake mix left for one more serving.”

The other’s scowl dissipated instantly, clearly more interested in food than maintaining appearances. “Hell yes! Apology accepted! Put some whipped cream on top and it’s apology double accepted!”

Luka laughed warmly and, after brushing away the last of the moisture that clung to his cheeks, gently extended a hand for Faust to climb onto willingly. Despite him being the one to prompt the action, though, he faltered when his smaller counterpart did just that. Even though he’d been forgiven, this simple act of trust didn’t feel earned. It was only a moment ago that he’d hurt Faust, after all. What right did he have to hold him now?

Seemingly picking up on Luka’s uncertainty (or just becoming impatient after being promised pancakes), Faust craned his neck to shoot an inquisitive glare upwards. “What?” he demanded.

“Aren’t you… I don’t know, a bit too trusting of me right now?” the brunette asked, unable to meet the other’s eyes. “Are you not even the least bit afraid that it might happen again?”

Faust scoffed. “Don’t be stupid. Of course it’ll happen again, idiot.”

Well, Luka hadn’t been sure as to what sort of answer he expected, but it certainly was not that.

“It might not be today or tomorrow, but sure, yeah, it’ll come back. Stuff like that doesn’t disappear overnight. But what kind of demon would I be if I was afraid of one measly human?” he pointed out, flashing a toothy smirk. “I trust you, Luka. And besides, I’ll always be around to knock some sense into you.”

Had Luka not spent all his tears earlier, he was certain there would be some welling in his eyes right then. He gave an earnest smile, a quiet chuckle, and asked, “So singing cringey pop music is your definition of knocking sense into someone?”

“It’s not cringey. You’re just a hardass.”

How fortunate Luka felt now to have woken up. Because truly, how could there be any reality kinder than this one he shared with Faust?

As they walked, Luka hummed a few notes between the pauses of their aimless chattering, before eventually groaning and cursing under his breath.

“Fuck,” he muttered, “You got that stupid song stuck in my head.”

“Heh heh! You’re welcome.”

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starrywooyo · 3 months

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treasure: Six

synopsis: when y/n gets whooshed into an alternate universe, an adventure: one with pirates and monsters and much, much more

pairing: ot8! pirate ateez x fem! reader

genre: pirate au!!

!!warnings(per chapter)!! - [bellow cut!] no warnings i can think of- plz lmk if there is

notes: omg- guess who's backkkkk with an update!! I'm so sorry it's taken this long to get this chapter out.. i also split this chapter into 2 since i felt its a bit much to read with it being so long.. or do you guys not mind really long parts/chapters?? maybe i also done it to keep you guys in suspense too 😏😏

word count: 4.3k

taglist: (if you want removed or added to the list please lmk)

@toxic-babexe , @sunnyhokyu , @cambriel , @lelaleleb

if if missed anyone again just let me know! i also don't know where my tag list is so please let me know if you wanted added and are not on here

series masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter | next chapter

previously:

hongjoong stands, placing his hands in the table, slightly leaning forward.

“I have some news I want to share” he says

your breath gets stuck in your throat. He doesn't know, does he??

“i have progress of our voyage for the Cromer.” he adds

everyone now gives him their full attention.

“thanks to sedna here, we have our heading. it'll be a long, dangerous journey but I know we as a team, a crew. can manage it!! we will get the cromer before they do”

You don't know how long, it’s most likely been days that have passed. All you can see from the horizon is the ocean and then more ocean.. Water as far as the eye can see.

Crew are starting to feel as though this mission is lost, that you were all lost on the sea, some starting to get bored out of their minds.

You sigh

“What’s wrong?” a voice asks

You close your book over

“Are we ever going to reach wherever it is we’re trying to get to yeosang?” you ask

He bookmarks his own book and lets out a small laugh.

“I’d tell you to be patient but I feel we’re all getting a bit restless these days, we’ll get there all in good time y/n.. Now let's continue reading shall we?” he replies and then proceeds to open his book to continue reading.

Deciding to do the same you reopen your own book and continue reading.

…

You toss and turn in your bed, unable to get some sleep. You still can't help the thoughts that pass through your mind. Tossing off the covers you pull your boots on and make your way through the ship.

It's mostly quiet as you walk down the corridor, the only thing to be heard being the waves crashing outside the ship and the slight creak of the wooden floorboards, the rest of the crew getting some kip while they can.

Walking up the stairs you slightly shiver from the nip from the cold air, rubbing your arms you take no notice of your surroundings and make your way to your spot you like to rest on at the front of the bow.

Leaning on the wood, you look out into the dark, there's not much visibility bar the light coming from the little lantern hanging down but when you look up, you’re in awe. The stars are out and shining bright. They look so… pretty. You wish you had a camera so you could capture this moment

Still gazing at the stars above you don't catch the sound of someone walking up behind you

“D’you like stargazing?”

You flinch turning to the voice

He laughs slightly “sorry didn't mean to scare ya” he says leaning beside you

You finally take in your surroundings you notice hongjoong is at the wheel and that's pretty much everyone who’s still awake

You turn back to him, he’s just looking at you intently

He gestures to the stars with his head and asks again.

“D’you like stargazing. y/n?” he asks.

“I do.. Do you like the stars, Yunho?” you ask him.

He smiles

“I do, being a lookout i get to see ‘em pretty much every night, i know a lot of the constellations too but what ‘re you doing awake at this time.. Can’t sleep??” he asks

You shake your head

He looks away for a second, then walks away a little bit and hold out his hand for you to take.

“Follow me”

You take ahold of his hand and he and he begins to lead you up the stairs past hongjoong at the helm to where the mizzen mast stands.

“Ladies first” he gestures to the rope ladder

And you climb up till you get to the barrel-like section at the top and yunho climbs in after you.

“It’s easier to see the stars from up here” he says and blows the candle out from the little lantern that's hung up in the mast so that he or wooyoung can have a little light when they need it. And then he sits beside you on the ground and tucks his legs up to his chest just like you.

Looking up you can see all the pretty twinkling lights and you’re in awe of them all.

A light tap on your shoulder brings you back to the man sitting beside you, and you listen and watch intently as he points out various stars and constellations and explains some of them to you

…

You shiver slightly rubbing your arms as a chill wind blows through you in the mast.

“Hmm cold?” yunho asks, tilting his head to the side a little.

You nod “ a little bit.. Yeah”

He shuffles about a bit in the space and opens the basket sitting in the corner, and pulls out a worn out greyish blue blanket

“ ‘ere “ he wraps the blanket around you and you pull it tighter around yourself

“it does get pretty chilly up here so there's a blanket in every basket for the three masts just in case you need that information” he laughs a bit and he sits back into his spot beside you on the ground and he wraps one of his arms around you pulling you closer to his side

“See that one ‘ere.. thats pleiades its-” he stops seeing you are now fast asleep he breathes out a laugh and then pulls you closer to his chest and then proceeds to fall asleep not long after you

…

You’re drawn out of your slumber from people talking in hushed tones, one of which you know to be yunho but the other you can't tell, still being in a haze.. The other person leaves.

“Yunho..” you voice out.

He hums

“What's the prettiest star youve seen?” you ask randomly still in your sleepy haze while wrapping your arms around his waist snuggling into him

“Hmm well… it's not actually a star but the aurora’s the most beautiful thing i've seen in my life time”

You smile and shut your eyes again resting your head on his chest

“I'd like to see that too” you say as you slowly drift off

Yunho rubs your back as you do

“I'll take you to see it.. Don't worry”

…

Your eyes flicker open and you stretch bones clicking in the process. Scanning your surroundings you see you’re still up in the mast with yunho still wrapped up in his arms as you shuffle around he stirs in his sleep, hands coming up to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Hmm good morning” he says, his voice still laced with sleep.

You reply to him and the both of you begin to make your way to the kitchen to get something to eat before everyone else.

You grab a bread roll as does yunho as well as an apple that yunho reluctantly lets you cut up yourself with your history of knives.

“Thank you.. By the way” you say as you begin to nibble on your food “for last night.. I had a good sleep thanks to you, yunho” you smile.

“Don’t worry about it, m’glad you could get some rest”

You both sit and continue to eat your food in the peaceful silence quite content.. Until it wasn't- more of the crew came piling in to grab their own breakfast before getting to work and it's then that yunho leaves you to go do his own chores around the ship again. And you go and join yeosang again.

…

“So where is it exactly we’re going yeo??” you ask him

“Well we’re going here to this docking town to restock supplies then we’ll head east or ‘tis where captain says we need to go” he explains pointing places out to you on the map “not to worry though, we’re almost there i'd assume we’d be arriving to the dock at any minute”

And he was right, you were in fact pulling up to the dock but not 20 minutes later.

Most of the crew started flowing out the ship, stretching. Their feet finally on firm solid ground. Standing on the dock you watch in silence as members of the crew converse with the workers on the dock, seonghwa wagering with the man how many pieces of gold would grant the amount of time the ship could stay docked

In the distance you see hongjoong talking with sedna about what.. You don't know but it looks to be a serious conversation. The conversation stops and he seems to make his way back over to you all and he speaks.

“I want everyone to stock up on supplies they may need and rations for the ship as for seonghwa, mingi, jongho, yunho, wooyoung and san you all come with me.. y/n you stay with yeosang” he says then he claps his hands together.

“Okay. everyone get to work” he says and he and his little team head off.

…

And so you walk through the streets of the town with yeosang carrying some of the things he buys to help him carry them back. You’re bored out of your mind, it’s been a good few hours since hongjoong and the crew left to god knows where. And you wont lie, you’re curious so… you pester yeosang about it. To which he replies something about a mini mission for the actual mission..just boring stuff

“Hey y/n.. I'm gonna nip into this last shop real quick. Can you wait out here for a second?” yeosang asks you, you nod watching him through the window of the store after he enters.

Bored you end up zoning out looking in the opposite direction, lost in your own thoughts.

Something catches your attention, as you stare your features contort in confusion

What.. is.. that..!?

You must've been staring for a long time as you’re brought out from your trance from yeosang calling you

“y/n… you good?” he asks, looking worried.

You hum

“Hmm.. yeah.. I thought I saw..” you look back, the thing is no longer there “nothing.. nevermind ..”

And then the both of you head back to the ship.

…

The others didn't get back to the ship until a long while after you, some covered in cuts and other bruises.. Just what was the ‘mission’

San ushers those with cuts to his study to clean the wounds up the rest follow hongjoong to his cabin and you’re left in the dark.. Not included. So you just help the other crew carry the stock onto the ship

…

With the ship now stocked and ready for the vast journey on the water you can finally start the main voyage.

The main 8 currently gathered in the captains cabin, map sprawled out on the table as hongjoong points to the locations on the map and explains in detail the route to be taken for this quest.

They all end up piling out of the foom after a few hours

You sit in your cabin seemingly lost in deep thought

“A penny for yer thoughts y/n.. What's got yer mind so busy” there's a knock from the doorframe.

Being drawn from your thoughts your head snaps to the doorway.

Hongjoong leans on the frame, sleeves of his white button shirt rolled up and his jacket discarded, being held in his hands.

You frown.. Thinking about it some more

“It’s nothing” you brush it off

He sighs

“May i?” he asks, gesturing to your room, you nod and he enters placing his jacket on your bed and taking a seat next to you.

“It cant be nothin if its got you frowning like that.. Did somethin happen??” he asks slight worry on his face

“No.. nothing happened per say.. I just.. I don't know.. I saw something but i don't know if my brain was playing tricks on me”

“Whatd ye see? Maybe I can help if I know what it was?” he pries some more..

You turn to face him

“I thought i.. When you and the others went on that little mission.. When i was shopping with yeosang.. i .. i thought i saw you.. Only it wasn't you?? I don't know.. you had different clothes on and.. All black and a black hat too” you laugh “i’m going crazy right?” you ask him

Only a sinking feeling comes to your chest as you see his face, its pale as if the colours been drained out

“y/n.” he begins “if you see that person again or someone similar. I need you to tell me or one of the others.. Can you do that for me?” he asks

You nod.

He shakes his head “no. i need you to say you’ll do it. Promise me you will”

You tilt your head in confusion

“I will” you say

“Good” he starts to grab his jacket and stands to leave the room

“But hongjoong,who or what was that?” you ask

“You don’t need to know that right now” and with that he leaves the room.

…

The ship comes to a stop with a sudden jerk, an island in the close distance.

Hongjoong stands giving commands as the crew rushes about the ship preparing to leave the ship and get to the piece of land on the longboats.

Chucking equipment onto the small boats crew piling in and getting lowered to the ocean.

Most of you make it to land, some crew having to stay back and watch the ship.

This is it. The main island.. Whatever it is you're searching for. It's here.. Somewhere.

Making camp on the beach tents get set up in all different sizes as well as some crates as makeshift tables, a fire being planned to get set up in the middle of camp.

“Yunho, wooyoung go scout the surroundings and make sure its safe” hongjoong orders. And the two do as told with woo whining a tad.

“And y/n, mingi, jongho come with me.. Lets split up and get some firewood for that fire later”

And the four of you make your way up the sandy dunes to the entrance of the woods. And slowly you all creep in.

You walk a good few minutes in far enough in that there's branches and leaves

“Just take as much as you can carry, we won't be camped on the beach long, take just enough to keep the fire going overnight and to cook a dinner” hongjoong says and begins to pick up the sticks on the ground and the other three of you follow suit.

With arms now filled with branches and dry leaves for kindling you make your way back to camp on the beach and dump the wood on the ground where the fire will be set up. And seonghwa comes along and gets started on the fire and you watch him intently; he starts by taking stones from the beach to which you help and places them in a circle for the boundary of the fire, then taking the twigs and branches you all collected and places them neatly in the stone circle, lastly he takes the dried leaves and skaters them throughout the logs.

He pulls from his pocket a rock of flint and holds it securely on one of the big stones surrounding the unlit fire close to some of the kindling and he whips out a small steel dagger. He pauses-

And briefly looks up to you.

“You good?” he asks

You let out a hum

“It's just, you’ve been watching me for a while.. Is it really that interesting?” he asks

You nod

“Hmm! I always used to watch my da- i mean i just think its cool to watch” you tell him

He kind of looks at you with your first choice of words but he decides to not comment on it. And just nods along.

“Y’wanna try then?” he taps the sand beside him

You slightly laugh

“I don't know if i can do it but i'll certainly give it a shot” and you get on your knees beside him.

Seonghwa briefly shows you how to hold the flint and the angle to strike the dagger against it, once you're sure you’ve got the hang of it, you take the items from him and strike the blade against the rock.. Nothing happens the first few times but then all of a sudden a few sparks fly off and land on the leaves slightly letting some smoke travel in the air. Seonghwa gets closer to the leaves and gently blows on them and at last the fire is going!! It works its way through the other twigs and leaves until finally a big blazing fire lights up the camp.

“Why don't you go see what the others are doing and if they need any help while I get started on dinner” seonghwa tells you. And with a nod of your head you're off through the camp.

Walking around the camp you find jongho sitting cleaning out his gun, all the pieces laid out..

You sit in front of him and he looks up from cleaning and gives you an awkward smile

“y/n… hi” he says

“Hi Jongho”

The awkward smile still there he doesn't pay you any mind and goes back to cleaning

Damn this is awkward..

“So.. jongho..” you begin-

“Look y/n. With all due respect just leave me alone” he sort of snaps as he puts the cleaned gun back together “im not interested” he gets up and walks away.

Oh…

Disappointed you sit and look out to the waves.. The sun is starting to set, it hangs low in the sky

Someone takes the place of jongho..

“y/n?” they speak

“Captain.” you reply.

Hongjoong sits across from you.

“I.. um.. I have somethin’ for you.. Will you come with me a minute..?” he asks, his eyes darting everywhere bar into your own.. His cheeks slightly flushed

You let out a small yeah and get up to follow him, he leads you towards his tent and holds open the fabric for you to enter. Which you do.

Hongjoong enters after you and you take a look around the large tent.

There's a make-shift table to the right with a chair and to the left his bed, some clothes folded on top with his hat neatly placed against them and a rucksack laying on the floor at the foot of the bed and some oil lanterns hang in random spots

“y/n.. Come in. don’t just stand there..” he says now standing at the table so you walk closer to the table.

He clears his throat and places a medium-ish flat box on the table in front of you.

“I.. haha um.. It might be weird but.. I got you this.. I know you were lookin at one a while back..” as he rambles on you peel the lid of the box off and your eyes go wide

“A-and you don't have to like it. I know it's not the same one you saw.. And its probably weird that i bought you it-” he continues

“I love it” you whisper out

“That's okay.. Wait- you do?” he asks

You nod and take it out of the box. Inside was a pretty black lace up corset with little white and red flowers embroidered on going up the left side with green vines and on the right side in the same red as the flowers which looks to be an ‘A’ in a red circle.

Hongjoong watches as you look at the corset with pure happiness in your eyes and a smile goes onto his own face

You look to him

“This is probably one of the nicest gifts anyone has given me..thank you. Hongjoong.”

“Of course, I'm just glad you like it.. Now. let's go get something to eat shall we?” and you both go out to join everyone else around the fire to eat.

…

The next day you all wake up bright and early ready to make your journey into the dense forest. Getting ready, you pack your little bag first and change into your clothes: trousers and a nice white flowy shirt.. The corset catches your eye in the corner so you decide to put it on. undoing the laces you slip it over your torso and go to pull the laces shut.. Only you realise something. You can't do it by yourself.

You make your way to the entrance of your tent and slightly poke your head out..

You see hongjoong giving out orders and overseeing them as most people are packing up their things and tents, majority of the crew are busy though someone catches you sticking your head out, with a cheeky grin on his face he saunters over towards your tent, you quickly pull your head back in and hold the opening shut

“y/n~~ are you ready?? We’re about to head off” he says..

“i - nearly, i'm just getting ready but i-” you weigh up all the options in your mind. Cursing at yourself you pop your head back out again and look at the blonde who's still smiling, his arms crossed over his chest.

You bite your lip slightly “wooyoung” you sigh out “can you come in here and help me?” you ask

He frowns slightly and tilts his head

“Help? Hmm sure, but with what?” he asks

You pop back in the tent

Wooyoung follows in after you, brushing a hand through his blonde hair and when he finally looks at you he sucks in a breath.

“Y-you need help lacing that up..” he asks a faint yet prominent blush creeps its way onto his cheeks

You nod slowly.. “if .. you wouldn't mind” you add.

He quickly shakes his head.

“I don't mind” he says and he walks over to you.

You turn around for him and he takes hold of the laces with shaky hands

“Let me know if it's too tight.. Okay..? i don't wanna hurt you” he says and begins to fix the strings before pulling on them. You feel yourself being sucked in oh god you don’t know how those women in towns do this, He pulls them tight a few times before he's asking you if it's okay you tell him it's fine before he’s pulling some more more and then he ties the bow in the back. His hands rest on your waist for a moment.

“There” he whispers out.

“Thank you”

He smiles though you can't see it.

Turning around you grab your bag to head out. It's wooyoung's turn to look over you, he bites his lower lip looking away slightly before looking back to you.

“You look good.. It suits you, pretty” he says and you both leave the tent. He helps you pack the rest of your things and roll your tent up and attach it to your bag.

Walking over to the rest of the group by the forest entrance, the fact you're wearing his corset doesn't go unnoticed by hongjoong. A blush of his own coating his cheeks as well. He clears his throat and continues his ‘speech’ and not long after you're all off into the forest..

…

hongjoong leads the line from the front, map and compass in his hands. You don't know how long you walked for.. All you know is this island is bigger than it seems to be and all you've been seeing is trees, trees and even more trees. And you’re losing daylight again.. Wherever it is that map leads.. We’re not getting there as quickly as hongjoong hoped we would.

You come to a small clearing in the woods.. Still covered with trees but space enough to make a small camp for your team of 15..

Hongjoong stops turning to face everyone.

“We’ll camp here for now” he sighs out shaking his head frustrated. He seems to have a silent conversation with seonghwa before he's speaking again “Mingi.. Jongho you both take night watch.” he says to the two men before he begins to walk off seonghwa close behind him.. Yeosang too before he adds

“We don’t know what or who lurks in this forest..”

…

The camp set up everyone seems to get settled seemingly staying in their own tents exception of jongho and mingi who pace around a makeshift border of what you call ‘camp’

Sitting watching the flames of the fire at the side of the camp.. It's quiet.. Peaceful.

“y/n..” yunho stands in front of you with a smile on his face. He outstretches his hand for you to take.

“Come with me.” he says and you look at him suspiciously.

He sighs out.. “Just come on.. Or we’ll miss it” he grabs your hand and begins to pull you away. Away from camp.. Down the path. You walk hand in hand with yunho for around 10 to 20 minutes. Until you come to another opening. This time a cliff opening. He lets go of your hand and goes and sits on the edge of the cliff sighing dejectedly

“Missed it.. It was right there my star.. I'm sorry” he says to you.

You sit next to him

“What was it?” You ask

“The lights..” he sighs

You smile

“Thank you for coming to get me because you saw them.. Don’t worry though Yun.. the stars are still very pretty to watch” you tell him. He nods still upset that he failed to get you on time.. You sit in silence for a few moments and then he turns to you.

“I'll be back quickly star.. I'll go get a blanket and my telescope and we can watch them better” he says to you and you agree and he gets up and walks back in the direction you both came from.

You sit yourself in the quiet and peaceful for a bit looking up at the stars.. Occasionally looking at the darkness of the ocean below from your viewpoint.

You hear the crunching of the ground in the distance

“Sorry I kept you y/n.. I’m back” he says and sits beside you again.

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