#if i got that song stuck in your head you owe me $5

[afraidparade]

"A Kinder Reality"

Word count: 3,088 Genre: G/T, Hurt/comfort, Angst Content warnings: Detailed depictions of panic attacks/intrusive thoughts, mentions & allusions to gore, death, and suicide, fearplay, possessive behavior

(PLEASE read the CWs as this one is a bit darker than some of my other stuff! sorry if it gets a bit heavy lolol. i tried to base this off of my own personal experiences, as i often have memory problems as a result of vivid dreams and intrusive thoughts that give me a lot of anxiety. there's also not a ton of hurt/comfort where the giant is the one hurting so i hope this fills that emptiness 👍)

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Luka’s eyes snapped open, the sudden light he had yet to adjust to making it impossible to differentiate up from down. His fingertips clawed into the sheets around him, as if grasping desperately for purchase on an incomplete thought he held in his hands only a moment prior. What was this? Where had he been until now? It was difficult to recall the details, but the ache of breathlessness in his chest and the icy sweat that saturated his nightclothes was evidence that the experience had been far from pleasant.

He remembered feeling alone, yet surrounded. Helpless, but he wasn’t quite certain of what it was that threatened him. There was a room with chairs and people and…something else. Something that he was desperately terrified of. And it wasn’t that those faceless figures around him refused to respond to his cries and offer him aid, because he didn’t cry at all. He didn’t make a sound. It was a dreadful sensation, sitting in that room and feigning calm, surrounded by those human-shaped husks. There was an overbearing presence behind him: the terrifying thing. Some sort of shadowy monster that sulked in a corner of the ceiling yet simultaneously managed to breathe down his neck. Luka could just feel its predatory anticipation, waiting for him to turn around, or speak, or blink, or any action it deemed unacceptable. He was sure it was there, yet no one else paid it any mind. Could they see it? Could they feel it? Did they even care that it was there? Did they even care that he was there? If the thing lunged down and ripped him apart right in front of their hollow eyes, would anyone even flinch? Perhaps they would feel grateful to the monster for ridding them of such a burden. Perhaps they would all be happier if he weren’t—

Luka pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and swallowed. Dry. Water, he should drink water. Shapes began to form in the fuzzy white void of his vision, and the man soon recognized the wall of his bedroom. Which meant all those vague and terrible memories had just been made-up. A dream. A rasp of air blew through his chapped lips, as if he was attempting to laugh out of spite. What a cruel joke. He already got a pitiful amount of sleep as it was, and now he couldn’t even be afforded the luxury of feeling rested when he woke up? Well, such was life, he supposed. At least now he wasn’t alone.

At least now…he wasn’t…

Luka froze, and his head throbbed. The space on the mattress beside him was unoccupied. He managed to twist his neck to survey the other side of the room, enduring another sharp surge of pain in his skull. Empty. His lips parted, but he stayed silent.

Wasn’t there supposed to be someone else there?

A third, more definitive pulse in his head caused Luka’s eyes to wrench shut. His hands shot upwards to nurse the pain away, but when that didn’t work, his fingers became more frantic, each scratching at his hairline as if they had a mind of their own. There was some sort of vile growth blocking his airway. He didn’t know where it came from. It felt like the same sort of inky malevolence that the carnivorous presence from before was composed of.

Was this…real? Had he actually woken up? 

He coughed, wheezing around the lump in his throat, panic setting in when he realized he couldn’t breathe. His diaphragm spasmed, and nausea followed soon after. His mouth was open, but if Luka was crying or screaming, he couldn’t tell. His sense of hearing had been reduced to a flat, monotone buzz. 

How could he be certain that this wasn’t the dream? That every memory of having someone beside him, someone that actually cared about him, weren’t just artificial fragments of a bright, fuzzy dreamscape his brain made to protect itself? How was he supposed to know which memories to trust?

A dark ring began to close in around the corners of his vision, blotting out his surroundings like the final scene of an old film. Maybe it was from the lack of oxygen. Maybe it was just a trauma response. But Luka couldn’t bear this feeling, not being able to tell whether he was tumbling or stationary, awake or asleep, alive or dead. If he was alone again. 

Again. 

Again, again, again, it always happened, he always ended up like this. As if he was always destined to be an afterthought to everyone around him. As if it really wouldn’t matter if a monster swallowed him whole. And bitterly, with the last scrap of his consciousness that could form coherent thoughts, he wondered which reality was kinder: one where he’d tasted love and fulfillment only to discover it was never his to keep, or one where he’d never experienced such bitter joys, and never knew the severity of losing them.

Maybe he could wake up in the room with the people and the monster. Maybe then, even if it was for a second, someone would spare him a compassionate glance while that shadowy beast tore into his ribcage and—

“…ka?”

There was something warm on Luka’s cheek. Tears? No. Though it was only now that he noticed their presence, those felt chilly and wet. It was a small pressure, but it radiated familiarity. A shaky, sudden inhale — his consciousness felt so faint, he barely registered it as his own — and a question were the first sounds to break through the fuzzy, intangible blockade around his ears.

“What happened?”

It took several deep, uneven breaths and bewildered blinks before Luka could manage to see just past his nose. A humanoid shape finally came into focus, but unlike the figures in the other room, this one had a face. And, upon closer inspection, wasn’t human at all. Deep, glossy pools of black with white pinprick pupils stared wide at him with concern, and from behind a quivering frown, he could make out tiny, pointed teeth. Reddish horns, an absolute rat’s nest of black hair, and an ill-fitting shirt stitched together by his own clumsy hands, all wrapped up in a three-inch package. The details were too intimate to be mistaken for a dream.

It was Faust. His wonderful, impossible, real Faust.

Luka couldn’t muster the coherence to form words. Aside from the fogginess he felt after finally, truly waking up, he was still parched, and his throat felt bruised from his battle for breath. A hand retracted from his face, the palm damp from the tears it had inadvertently smeared around, and slowly reached towards the confused demon. Faust reached out for it without a moment’s hesitation, causing Luka’s fingers to twitch in surprise. He was real. It was miraculous. He was real.

But that looming dread from before still gripped at his chest unyieldingly. What if one day Luka woke up and he really was gone? How would he be able to bear being thrown from one cruel reality to the next without the reprieve of someone else to comfort him? No, not just anyone else, but Faust. There was no one else. It had to be Faust.

What would he do if he lost Faust?

Luka didn’t know what he was doing. His body moved almost robotically, stuttering every now and then as his brain tried to process how to proceed, all while his unblinking gaze lost focus and bore forward into the same nothingness. His fingers curled around Faust’s body rigidly, and while the demon didn’t protest, he began to shift uncomfortably. The human’s hand pulled back towards his body, his grip unconsciously tightening as it moved, only stopping when his companion was held flush against his chest and there was no space left for his hand to retreat to. 

“Luka, this is— it’s kind of hard to breathe.”

Luka could hear him, so why couldn’t he stop? He didn’t want to hurt Faust. He would never do something like that. But he was so small. Even if daily life with a tiny imp had become routine, it didn’t change the fact that he was so very vulnerable. Ultimately powerless in the grand scheme of things. Beautifully unique, terrifyingly unique. There was no one else in the entire world like Faust. The big, dangerous, lonely world. Yes, it was so easy to keep him in place. It hardly took any effort at all. This was simply a reassurance that he had the means to keep Faust safe. To keep him close. To make him stay.

“Y-your heartbeat is crazy fast right now. Seriously, are you okay? I need you to respond to me, Luka!”

Luka’s chin lowered to brush against the hand trapping Faust in place, and without realizing it, his entire body had begun to curl around that point as well. It felt as though Faust was the very core of his entire person. This was beyond normal love, wasn’t it? This was obsession. Sick dependency. It disgusted him so, and yet his body refused to do anything but curl tighter. Like a boa constrictor wrapping around its next meal. Would he end up squeezing Faust until he stopped moving, too? It would be easy, Luka thought. Not that he wanted to. But it chilled him to know that he could.

“Don’t make me do this, Luka. I really don’t want to do this.”

Ah, this was what it felt like when they first met. The knowledge that he held this impossibly small being’s life in the literal palm of his hand, the understanding that he could take advantage of that, and the searing hatred Luka felt for himself when he did. It was horrible, but it was intoxicating, and he didn’t want it back, but a wretched part of him missed it. When exactly did he manage to overcome this feeling, Luka pondered? Somewhere along the way of falling for Faust? Realizing he’d need to change if he ever wanted Faust to reciprocate? Well, what did it truly matter if Faust reciprocated? Faust didn’t have to love him. He just needed to be here. He just needed to stay. Luka needed him to stay.

“…So be it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

God, he was rotten. And delusional, too, to think he had actually changed. People don’t change. At least not people like Luka. Destined to be alone, again and again and again and again. He hated being alone. He hated himself. He hated this feeling. He hated that goddamn room from that goddamn dream. What was even the point? Why did he bother trying to fix something shattered beyond repair? What was stopping him from—

“Ca-li-for-nia girls, we’re unforgettable! Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!”

…

What?

“Sun-kissed skin so hot, we’ll melt your popsicle — wa-oohhh-ah-oohhh-oh, wa-oohhh-ah-oohhh-oh…”

Faust’s muffled voice faded after the last vocalization, possibly waiting to see if there was a response. Or possibly due to being out of breath. After that, total stillness descended on the scene. Almost as if someone had merely pushed the power button on a remote and turned off all the static in Luka’s brain. It took a moment for him to process what in the hell had just happened, but after rewiring itself, his brain recalled a certain fact he knew he could always rely on:

Faust was a terrible singer.

Once his lungs finally remembered how to inhale, his body relaxed from its tensed and coiled state, releasing the small demon from his desperate grasp. As his vision slowly came into focus again, Luka inspected Faust’s state worriedly, suddenly horrified that he may have actually inflicted harm on his roommate. He was flushed red from a combination of the larger man’s overwhelming body heat and the intense pressure that likely inhibited his breathing, but other than a few gasps and coughs, he seemed surprisingly unbothered. Which was relieving first and foremost, but upsetting in its own right. He deserved to be upset. He deserved to resent Luka. The man swallowed as he attempted to regain his voice. 

“...I hate that song,” he rasped plainly. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah. I know,” Faust replied, still panting as he glanced upward, “I was sorta hoping that the hate and the shock would overpower…whatever it was you were feeling.”

Luka’s mouth hung agape. Had Faust really hinged both the wellbeing of himself and Luka on…an annoying pop song? And that actually worked? He couldn’t tell if the demon was an idiot or a genius. It was so ridiculous on so many layers that he simply couldn’t think about anything else. Those overbearing thoughts from mere moments prior vanished in a puff of smoke, just like that. Eventually he closed his mouth and allowed a small, warm grin to replace the anguish from before. He never smiled like this before meeting Faust. Funny, Luka thought, how very different his inner demons looked from the miniscule demon that stood before him.

 “It did. Thank you.”

“God, you sound like shit,” the imp grumbled. Luka took the not-so-subtle hint and slowly sat himself upright, fumbling for the bottle of water that he kept on his bedside table. “What even happened? I had only just left to find myself something to snack on, but I turned back when I heard you making weird noises. Next thing I know, you’re suffocating me.”

Luka hesitated as he brought the bottle to his lips. An intense feeling of shame weighed down on his body as he recalled his actions, as well as the thoughts that accompanied them. It was probably better that Faust didn’t know every last detail of what brought his panic attack on…specifically, the thoughts concerning him. Sure, they had roots in the anxieties that Luka harbored in the back of his mind, but in that feverish state they had been amplified a hundred fold. They weren’t his true feelings. Or so he hoped, anyways

“I just…had a nightmare,” he answered simply, taking a swig from the container. Faust’s eyes narrowed, clearly unconvinced that there was no other trigger for such an extreme episode, but he held his tongue. After all, he was in no place to doubt the impact of nightmares. Luka, not wanting to dwell in the uncomfortable silence any longer, continued, “I’m so sorry for putting you through that. It must’ve been scary. Are you hurt?”

The smaller shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s fine. I’ve been through a lot worse.”

Luka wiped at a trail of water that trickled out of the corner of his mouth before capping the bottle. That was right — they had both trudged through hell just to make it to that very morning together, hadn’t they? Faust’s trophy was a back full of scars. Luka’s was a drawer full of pill bottles. It was difficult to liken his own traumatic experiences to Faust’s – especially when the other’s past was still largely a mystery to him – but there was comfort in knowing they could relate to each other on a basic level. That they…weren’t alone. Maybe all the trouble up until then was worth it just to share each other’s company. Of course, it was possible Faust didn’t feel the same way. But he didn’t need to feel the same way. It was enough that he was there. 

Luka sighed and turned to Faust again. Given his state from a few minutes ago, it was remarkable how calm he felt now. Maybe that, too, was thanks to his companion’s presence.

“Did you ever get your snack?” he asked softly.

“No,” Faust huffed with a sharp thrash of his tail. After a pause, the small imp folded his arms and turned his pouting face away, adding with a grumble, “I can’t exactly get to the kitchen in just a few steps like you can.”

Cute, Luka cooed inwardly. It was a thought that he would verbalize on any other day just to watch the resulting adorable tantrum, but for now he figured he’d put Faust through enough.

 “Well then, would you allow me to make a nice breakfast as an apology for earlier? I think there’s enough pancake mix left for one more serving.”

The other’s scowl dissipated instantly, clearly more interested in food than maintaining appearances. “Hell yes! Apology accepted! Put some whipped cream on top and it’s apology double accepted!”

Luka laughed warmly and, after brushing away the last of the moisture that clung to his cheeks, gently extended a hand for Faust to climb onto willingly. Despite him being the one to prompt the action, though, he faltered when his smaller counterpart did just that. Even though he’d been forgiven, this simple act of trust didn’t feel earned. It was only a moment ago that he’d hurt Faust, after all. What right did he have to hold him now?

Seemingly picking up on Luka’s uncertainty (or just becoming impatient after being promised pancakes), Faust craned his neck to shoot an inquisitive glare upwards. “What?” he demanded.

“Aren’t you… I don’t know, a bit too trusting of me right now?” the brunette asked, unable to meet the other’s eyes. “Are you not even the least bit afraid that it might happen again?”

Faust scoffed. “Don’t be stupid. Of course it’ll happen again, idiot.”

Well, Luka hadn’t been sure as to what sort of answer he expected, but it certainly was not that.

“It might not be today or tomorrow, but sure, yeah, it’ll come back. Stuff like that doesn’t disappear overnight. But what kind of demon would I be if I was afraid of one measly human?” he pointed out, flashing a toothy smirk. “I trust you, Luka. And besides, I’ll always be around to knock some sense into you.”

Had Luka not spent all his tears earlier, he was certain there would be some welling in his eyes right then. He gave an earnest smile, a quiet chuckle, and asked, “So singing cringey pop music is your definition of knocking sense into someone?”

“It’s not cringey. You’re just a hardass.”

How fortunate Luka felt now to have woken up. Because truly, how could there be any reality kinder than this one he shared with Faust?

As they walked, Luka hummed a few notes between the pauses of their aimless chattering, before eventually groaning and cursing under his breath.

“Fuck,” he muttered,  “You got that stupid song stuck in my head.”

“Heh heh! You’re welcome.”

#lufa #oc: luka #oc: faust #g/t #giant/tiny #gt community #writingtag #g/t writing #g/t fiction #fearplay #hurt/comfort #angst #suicide mention #tw depression #tw panic attack #tw intrusive thoughts #mlm g/t #m/m g/t #if i got that song stuck in your head you owe me $5 #also lmk if i'm missing tags plz

[strniohoeee]

OUUUU A REQUEST!!!

SMUT enemies one bed troupe with chris! GOD ID GIVE YOU MY KIDNEY FOR IT

Vie

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hates Chris with every morsel in her body. They’re always fighting like children. Unfortunately one day her and Chris are stuck together for a 4 hour drive…..I wonder what happens 🗣️

Warnings⚠️: THIS IS SMUTTTTT, enemies to lovers ish, and just my favorite trope ever. This was long asf LMAOO, but I really loved writing it!🫶🏽

Song for the imagine: Friends- Chase Atlantic

⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

All of your friends have been here for too long

They must be waiting for you to move on (woo)

Girl, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone

I was finishing packing for the trip I was going on with the triplets when my phone started to light up. I saw Nick calling me

“Heyyy” I said picking up the phone

“Hiii I’m so sorry to call last minute, but is there any way you could pick Chris up?” He asked

“Uhhh why do I have to pick him up?” I asked getting a bit annoyed

“Well he’s a fucking idiot and we thought he got in the back seat, but he packed his shit in the back seat and made it look like he was in there, so we drove off while he was in the shower” Nick said laughing

“Wow he really is an idiot” I said laughing

“Yeah and he was screaming at us over the phone, so would you be a doll and pick him up. I’ll literally pay you, so we don’t have to turn back around” Nick said

“Don’t worry about paying me I’ll get him, but just know if he pisses me off enough I’m leaving him on the side of the road to hike to Vegas alone” I said back

“That’s fine I completely understand it” he said laughing

“Alright I’m almost done packing. I’ll head out in a few and go get him” I said

“Perfect thank you! See you in Vegasssss” he said before hanging up

A four hour drive with Chris…..I needed a gun actually. I fucking hated this kid and he hated me. We kept our distance at all fucking times, so having to sit right next to him and endure his annoying childish behavior was starting to piss me off.

After about an hour of finishing packing and making sure I had everything. I drove over to the triplets house which was like another 30 minutes. I really liked making Chris wait. I know he was getting so impatient.

I pulled up to their house and texted Chris that I was here, about 5 minutes later he came strolling out.

“Did you lock the door” I yelled out to him after rolling my window down

“I’m not a child of course I did” he said rolling his eyes

“Mmm are you sure about that?” I asked him

Chris rolled his eyes and walked back to the house….he did in fact not lock the door.

“Just saved your ass” I said as he came back and hopped in the car

“Shut the fuck up” he replied slamming the door shut

“Awww what’s wrong” I asked putting the hotel in Vegas directions in and getting ready to drive off

“Well my dumbass brothers left without me, and then you take over an hour and a half to get to me” he said huffing out

“Well if you weren’t an idiot and didn’t pack the car making it seem like you were in there, they wouldn’t have left you” I said driving off

“Yeah whatever I don’t care” he said throwing his book bag to the back of the car

“Well we’re going to be driving together for 4 hours, and I’d like to not be stressed out. I want to listen to my music and have a nice drive” I said looking over at him

“Consider me invisible” he said lifting his hood up

“Oh I consider you invisible on the daily, so this shouldn’t be an issue” I said coming to a stop at a red light

“I’m trying to be on my best behavior because Nick and Matt already talked to me about being nice to you” he said huffing

“So sad they have to talk to their grown brother about being nice to me” I said giggling

“Shut up already” he said putting his shoes on my dashboard and bending his knees

“Are you fucking crazy get your shoes off my dashboard” I said smacking his legs

“Ow you bitch” he said dropping his legs and moving away

“Don’t call me that, and this isn’t your car so show some decorum” I said rolling my eyes

“Decorum…stop using big words” he said getting upset

“Just have respect for my shit” I said huffing out a breath of annoyance

We were an hour and a half in to our drive, and Chris was chewing his snacks like an animal, burping loudly, playing his videos at max volume, talking on the phone at max volume.

I was being very patient, but he was making my skin crawl with anger. My last straw happened when he skipped my songs until he landed on something he liked

“Uh no” I said smacking his hand away

“What?” He said laughing

“I can put up with the loud chewing, the obnoxious volume of your phone and the burping, but do not touch my fucking stereo” I said glancing over at him

“Your music is fucking ass” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh sorry I don’t want to listen to songs solely about fucking bitches and selling drugs” I said rolling my eyes

“That’s not the only music I listen to” he said

“Sure seems like it” I said

Chris reached over and changed the song again

“HANDS OFF IDIOT” I said getting annoyed

“YOUR MUSIC IS SHIT” he yelled back

“Should’ve brought your own headphones then” I said

“I did” he said

“So then where are they?” I asked him

“In my other bag” he said in a whisper

“YES in the other bag your dumbass packed in the other car ahaha now you have to listen to my music” I said laughing at him

“Yeah whatever” he said rolling his eyes

Chris reached over to skip to the next song

“DONT” I said sternly, he ignored me anyways and pressed next

“Don’t change this one I like it” I said putting the volume up as Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean started to play

“I like this song too” he said sitting back

“You like this song? Yeah right” I said laughing

“No I do I swear” he said

Chris and I sang along to the song. I can say in the three years that I’ve known Chris this was the most pleasant time we’ve ever shared, and who thought it would be over Frank Ocean. We even sang to each other in a joking way completely forgetting the hate we both share for one another.

We were now 2 and a half hours into our drive when suddenly traffic came to a complete stop.

“What the fuck?” I said looking at my google maps

Suddenly my google maps time went up another hour

“A fucking hour slow down?” Chris said with his jaw dropping

I called Nick to see where they were at.

“Hey where are yall at? We’re stuck in an hour slow down” I said

“Hey, we're a little over an hour away. We got stuck in that slow down half an hour ago but it was only 20 minutes it looked like a 8 car accident or some shit” he responded

“God damn I don’t know if I can sit in an hour slow down” I said

“See how long you can stick it out, and if not just get a hotel and meet us in the morning. I’ll talk to the front desk people in Vegas and see what I can do” he responded

“Okay yeah thanks” I said

We both hung up. We were sitting in stand still traffic for a good 25 minutes when Chris started to annoy me.

“I’m hungry and I have to pee” he whined

“Yeah me too, and you don’t see me complaining” I told him

“Maybe we should get a hotel room” he said

“Mmm or we can wait it out” I said

“I’m going to piss my pants in your car then” he shrugged his shoulders

“Can’t you hold it for another 35 minutes holy shit” I said getting annoyed

“No I can’t. That’s fine I’ll just hop out right now and whip my dick out and just pee infront of everyone” he said unbuckling his seat belt

“You’re not embarrassing me like that” I said stopping him

“Well then the choice is yours” he said smiling at me like an asshole

“Oh my god you’re insufferable fine, I’ll get off right here and find a hotel or some shit” I said

I drove to a gas station first filling up my tank while Chris ran in to pee and get more snacks. He got back in the car and I went inside to pee too.

I got back in the car, and drove to the nearby hotel google maps showed me. We both hopped out and walked in.

“Hi welcome in” the lady at the front desk said

“Hi, how are you?” I asked walking closer

“I’m good, checking in?” She asked

“Actually I was wondering if you guys had two rooms available, or at least a room with two beds” I asked her

“I can check, but I’m not so sure” she said

“That’s fine! There a bad slow down on the highway, so we figured we just pull off for the night” I said nodding at her

“Oh that sucks! Let me check for you” she responded again

I walked over to Chris and told him she was checking. We sat in silence while we waited for her to check the system

“Oh uh maam” she said calling me over

Chris and I walked over to her

“So we have a room, but it’s only one king size mattress” she said

“Only one bed?” I asked her my face dropping

“I’m afraid so” she said

“Are there any hotels nearby that might have two beds available?” Chris asked her

“Considering it’s a Friday night, many hotels are taken up” she said

“That’s alright we’ll take the room, and he’ll pay” I said nodding at her and patting Chris on the chest

He looked at me before titling his head and rolling his eyes.

I walked out to the car grabbing his book bag and my one suitcase.

We both went up to the room, and opened the door. Both sighing in defeat at the sight of one bed we’d have to share.

“I’m going to shower don’t destroy anything” I said to Chris

I grabbed my stuff out of my suitcase and showered. Once I was done Chris showered also.

I tried to stay on the little loveseat and far away from the bed because I did not want to share it with him.

“Movie?” He asked

“I’m sorry, was that English? Are you two years old” I said getting annoyed

“Do you want to watch a movie stupid” he asked rolling his eyes

“Sure doesn’t really matter to me” I said rolling my eyes

Chris and I sat on the bed far away from one another as we watched a movie and ate our snacks. We watched two more movies before we decided it was late enough and we should get to bed.

Chris and I had brushed our teeth, and I decided I would sleep curled up on the loveseat.

“The fuck are you doing?” He asked me

“Going to bed what does it look like moron” I said fluffing the pillow it

“It’s a huge bed big enough for the both of us to share, so put your pride aside and just come to the bed” he said

“No I’m good” I said letting my legs dangle off the edge of the seat and slouching down

“Suit yourself” he said laughing before shutting the lights off

About ten minutes later I really wished I pushed my ego aside and laid in that damn bed. My back was curved in such an awkward way, my legs becoming numb because they were dangling and my neck hurting from straining

“In pain I bet” I heard Chris say

“Says who” I spat back

“Says the fact you can’t stay still and you’re keeping me awake” he said

“Oh shut up” I said getting annoyed

“Just lay in the bed I’ll literally put my head on the opposite end” he said

“I’m not sleeping near your feet you sicko” I replied in a hushed yell

“Well then pick your poison” he said

I huffed standing up cracking my back and neck before snatching my pillow and throwing it on the empty side of the bed

I laid down allowing my back to be aligned and I let out a sigh of relief

“Isn’t it nice when you just shut up and listen to other people for once” Chris said in a whisper

“Stop talking to me and shut your eyes” I said back

He huffed out in annoyance and got silent.

I tried to fall asleep but my mind started racing. I was laying in bed with Chris only a foot away from me, he was shirtless and in his boxers…..my heart started to race a little bit

There’s no denying that Chris is attractive. It's just when he opens his mouth I want to smack him, but also kiss him?? I don’t know what I’m thinking it’s late

We both had full control of this situation…I mean I could make a move but would he go along with it? I can feel his body heat radiating off of him and my body started to ache with an unfamiliar feeling…..well a feeling I knew all too well, but this wasn’t a feeling I’ve ever had for Chris….

My throat kept running dry as I thought of all the possibilities that could happen had I just opened my mouth and told Chris I wanted to kiss him.

No! stand strong…..it’s late at night you don’t know what you’re thinking

“Why are you breathing so hard?” Chris asked me suddenly

“I thought you were asleep” I whispered back to him

“I’m trying too but you’re breathing like you just ran a race” he said back

“Sorry” was all I could whisper back

“No smart comment, I’m shocked” he said

I looked over at Chris only being able to see the silhouette of him, and I could tell he was facing towards me.

“I’m too tired for all that” I said back

“You’re acting weird” he said

“Am not” I said my breathing getting quicker

Chris suddenly reached over placing his left hand on my heart

“Why is your heart racing so fast” he asked

“Get off of me” I said pushing his hand away

“You’re a weirdo” he said

“You ever….you ever just think you’ve made the wrong mistake in life” I blurted out

“Woah deep talks with y/n” he said laughing

“Forget I said anything” I said rolling my eyes

“I’m kidding, yeah of course I do for some things” he replied back

“I feel that way, but uhh but about you” I whispered the last part

“What do you mean” he asks

“Laying here right now my heart is racing and my breathing is getting shallow. To know that you’re so close yet so far away, and that I can’t have you is messing with my head” I told him

“Who says you can’t have me?” He asks in a whisper

“Don’t mess with my head Chris” I said shaking my head

Chris pulled me to face him and only then could I really see some of his features.

“Would it be wrong to kiss you?” He asked me

“No” I whispered out breathlessly

Chris ghosted his lips over mine teasing me

“I thought you hated me?” He said

“I don’t know what I feel about you anymore” I said back

Chris rubbed his thumb on my cheek before connecting our lips in a long passionate kiss. A kiss that made all my hatred for him flutter away. This felt so wrong yet so right. Chris is not supposed to be mine, I’m supposed to despise him….but in this moment I simply can not

Pulling away we looking into each others eyes, our noses touching

“Would it be wrong to say I want more?” I asked him

“No” he whispered to me

“Chris I need you right now” I said running my hands up his toned arms and to his neck

Pulling him in to reconnect our lips as my hand ran through his hair

“God I hate that I don’t hate you” I said pulling away

“Why do you want to hate me?” He asks laughing lightly

“Because it’s easier to hate than to have this burning desire for someone” I said

“I suppose that’s true” he said

Chris leaned over allowing me to fall back on my back as he hovered over me. Leaving light kisses on my neck as he trailed his right hand up and down my body squeezing my hips

He reconnected our lips and slid his hands under my shirt cupping my breasts in his hands causing me to disconnect from the kiss to let out a small moan

I lifted up so he could remove my shirt for me and then reconnected our lips again. Slowly kissing my jawline and down to my neck leaving open mouth kisses down my chest and to the valley of my breasts

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked me

“Yeah Chris I do” I panted out

Chris kissed up the valley of my breasts and cupped my breast grabbing my left breast and swirling his tongue around my nipple

“Ohh” I moaned out lightly my fingers running through his hair

He moved over to my right breast doing the same thing. This action alone was making me so wet I began to shift under him and whimpering out

Chris kissed down my stomach kissing over my clothes pussy causing me to grip his hair and moan out his name

He came back up and helped me slip out of my underwear

Running his hands up my legs and to my thighs giving them a squeeze

“Please Chris” I said

“I know” he whispered back

Chris slipped his own boxers off and slowly stroked himself, leaning forward on his forearm his used his right hand to guide his dick to my entrance

Slowly pushing himself in, his breathing hitching at the feeling.

“Fuck y/n you feel so good” he panted out as he bottomed out

He allowed his right arm to lean near my head as he started to thrust into me, my legs spreading wider for him. And my right hand wrapping around his left bicep

He leaned his head into my neck, his hair tickling my face and his chain slowly sliding against my collar bone

His thrusts becoming deeper and harder causing my mouth to fall open

“Oh fuck Chris this feels so good” I moaned out gripping the hair at the back of his head with my left hand.

“Fuck” he moaned out at this feeling

I leaned up a little more and wrapped my legs around his waist, his breathing becoming heavier sounding like a song in my ear. Our chests touch, sending shockwaves through my brain. Who wouldve thought fucking Chris would be this amazing

Chris thrust became faster and my moans fell out of my mouth with no signs of stopping. I never wanted this feeling to stop

“Keep going Chris I’m going to cum soon” I said raking my nails up and down his back

“Okay baby” he moaned out licking his lips as he thrusted into me harder

I laid back down and Chris leans back a bit, placing my thighs over his own as he slammed into me

“Fuckkkkkk” I moaned out gripping the sheets above my head

Chris brought his hand down to rub my clit with his thumb causing my back to arch off the bed

“Oh my god” I moaned out shutting my eyes and letting my mouth fall open

With a few more thrusts I was beginning to shudder on Chris’ dick.

“I’m going to cum” I said

“Come on pretty girl” he cooed at me

He rubbed faster, and suddenly my stomach tightened causing my thighs to shake and my eyes to screw shut

“Fuck fuck fuck” I moaned out as I came all over him

He helped me ride out my high as I tried to catch my breath. And soon he pulled out of me, stroking his dick a few times before painting my lower abdomen in his cum.

“Fuck Y/N” he moaned out as I saw him lean his head back and his arm moving to help him ride out his own high

Chris caught his breath before getting off the bed, slipping his boxers back on and turning the lamp on

His eyes glanced over at me, my body in a sheen of sweat as I laid there limp and fucked out

Chris came back with a small wet towel to wipe me clean.

I slid my underwear and my shirt back on. Chris shut the light off and came in closer pulling me to his chest.

“I’m glad you hated me it made for some pretty hot sex” he said kissing my cheek

“You’re such a weirdo” I said giggling

“A weirdo just for you” he said back

Chris and I laid in one another’s arms talking a bit before we both fell asleep.

Our alarm for 6AM going off, so we could check out by 7AM. Chris and I had both showered and packed up our stuff.

I texted Nick that we were checking out of the hotel and heading to grab breakfast before getting back on the road. Thankfully it was only an hour and a half drive to the Vegas hotel.

Chris grabbed our bags and we walked to the car. He placed everything in and before letting me get in the car he gave me a kiss

“God you’re so beautiful” he whispered out

“You’re so corny” I said rolling my eyes and blushing

Chris rolled his eyes at me and we got in the car heading through a Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru for breakfast and hoping back on the highway

We spent the rest of the car ride laughing and enjoying each other's music.

Who would’ve thought sharing a king size bed would right our wrongs….

The End

Hope y’all enjoyed this one! I actually really loved writing this one🤭 so whoever requested this I hope you enjoyed it as well! I love yall🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplet smut #Christopher Sturniolo smut #smut

[vicsnook]

I Know Places | Jake Seresin x Reader

word count: 1724

warnings: shit talking, SMUT, MINORS DNI, 18+

song pairing: I Know Places - Taylor Swift

notes: Hey y'all! Hope you liked the last one ;). Next part is the last one. I have enjoyed writing this small fic and hope you enjoyed reading it. My writing style has definitely changed from where we started and I am so grateful you have stuck around. Thank you for all your likes/reblogs <3 keep them coming pls!

It's been 3 months now since you and Jake started dating. You managed to keep your relationship a secret from everyone but they were beginning to suspect something was up. Also ubering to each other’s place was getting expensive and really old.

So here you are now getting dressed in your apartment and waiting for Jake to pick you up. You both decided it was time to tell everyone. He pulled in as you looked in the mirror one last time and hurried to open the door.

“You look gorgeous babe” he whispered in your ear as you hugged him. You were very nervous about today. 

“Thank you handsome. Are you nervous too or is it just me?” you asked as you hopped into his truck. 

“A little but I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he replied, smiling reassuringly as he pulled out of the driveway.

You stand with your hand on my waistline

It's a scene, and we're out here in plain sight

I can hear them whisper as we pass by

Your friendship with Bob was solid now and you were afraid that him finding out about you and Jake would spoil it. But Bob was seeing another girl so maybe he wouldn’t really care. Jake opening up your door startled you out of your thoughts. 

You grabbed the wine out of the back and Jake grabbed the cooler. He followed behind you as you knocked on the Rooster’s door. No one answered but you could hear everyone in the backyard so you turned the knob and walked in. 

No one was inside so you set the wine in the fridge and Jake headed outside to set down the cooler. Taking a deep breath you headed outside and all eyes fell on you as you went to stand next to Jake. His hand making its way to your waistline.

“Called it. You owe me $5.” Said Rooster to Mickey, breaking the silence. Everyone laughed and you let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding. 

Jake smiled at you and you smiled back. Maybe the worst was over. Nat grabbed you and pulled you to the kitchen when Jake went to play cornhole with Reuben.

“So that’s who you’ve been spending all your time with?” Nat asks while pouring herself a glass of wine. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She looks at you with her eyebrows raised waiting on your answer.

“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to make sure things were working out well before letting anyone know.” You reply, turning when you hear the sliding door open.

Bob heads towards you both and you brace yourself for the worst. “How long has this been going on Peach?” Bob asks, taking a swig of his beer.

“3 months.” You don’t dare look up as you hear him walk back outside. He did not take it well. You lift your head to look at Nat who is already following Bob outside.

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

You head out the front door for some fresh air away from everyone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck” you mutter to yourself as you start to walk down the road. 

Bob had said months ago that he didn’t care when you asked if he minded about the possibility of you and Jake but you knew that was not why he was upset. You kept it from him and lied when he asked the past few months. Turning back around once you’d reached the stop sign at the end of the road you saw Jake jogging towards you.

“What happened? Why’d you leave, love?” He asks breathlessly as he reaches you. “Um, Bob got upset that I kept our relationship from him.” 

“Oh darling, come ‘ere.” He wraps his arm around pulling you to him as you both keep walking back to Rooster’s house. You smile at him reassuringly when you reach the front door once again. 

“I’m gonna go talk to him, do you mind?” you ask. “Not at all,” Jake responds, giving you a quick peck. Both of you head outside again and you spot Bob by the fire. 

“Can we talk?” You ask Bob once you reach him.  He gives you a small smile and nods and you sit next to him.

—

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

The night continued without a hitch after you spoke with Bob who admitted he was only upset that you weren’t honest from the get-go but understood your reasons. Everyone sat around the fire now roasting marshmallows and retelling stories from their previous missions. Jake’s hand on your knee and yours on top of it. 

You couldn’t help but feel someone staring and when you looked up, you noticed it was Mickey. His stare was cold and he was not sporting his usual smile. You quickly looked away. 

Maybe not everyone was thrilled about you and Jake. As you and Nat took the dishes inside that night she whispered to you that Mickey was indeed not happy. He apparently had told Rooster that he felt you ruined the group dynamic by dating Bob and now Jake and Rooster told Nat.

“Seriously Peach, don’t pay him no mind. I just wanted you to know so it didn’t take you by surprise.” Nat says, smiling at you reassuringly at you.

—

Baby, I know places we won't be found and

They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

'Cause I, I know places we can hide

I know places

You didn’t tell Jake about Mickey’s comments to avoid any more issues. Instead, you continued on as if nothing happened. But Jake noticed something was up when you didn’t want to hang out with the squad and still wanted to go out of town for all your dates.

 “Let’s go to the Hard Deck tonight.” Jake says, as you get out of the shower. You try to think of an excuse but before you can say anything he adds “No excuses.”

So you go for plan B. While Jake is in the shower, you put on a red thong and a lacy babydoll you know he adores. You lay on your stomach with your back turned to the bathroom door to give him a good view as he comes out of the bathroom.

You feel him climb on the bed and he’s quick to flip you around. His lips instantly on yours as you wrap your legs around his naked torso. “Nice try” he whispers in your ear, pulling away and standing up to get dressed.

“Oh c’mon, you’d rather go to the Hard Deck than fuck me?” You ask, as Jake puts on a shirt.

“Of course not, darling. But I know you’re only doing this to get out of going.” He replies, pulling you in for a kiss and smirking at you. 

You roll your eyes and get up to get dressed but Jake pulls you against his chest before you make it to the closet. The feeling of his hard dick against your ass makes your knees buckle. “Why have you been avoiding our friends, baby?” he asks, his hand holding your throat. You catch a glimpse of you both in the mirror and feel yourself soaking through your panties.

“I’m not avoiding them.” You reply, your voice shaky. He turns you to look at him and you know he knows you’re lying. “Tell me and I’ll give you what you want,” Jake says, sucking your earlobe between his lips. Your head is spinning and you want him so bad. So you give in.

“Mickey thinks that I’m ruining the group because I’m dating you. He thinks it’s going to cause drama with Bob.” You whisper, staring at Jake’s chest to avoid his eyes. He lifts your face up to him and you finally look at him. “I don't care what anyone thinks about us. All I care about is you and making you happy. Fuck what they have to say.” Jake replies, and you pull him for a kiss. Regretting not having told him sooner.

His hands make their way to your ass and squeeze and you moan in his mouth. You let him lead you to the bed and he’s quick to pull off your underwear. He’s pressing kisses on your things and you can feel his hot breath on your pussy making you shiver. 

Your hands are in his hair as he sucks on your clit and you pull him even closer. Feeling his smirk as you moan his name loudly when he adds a finger and then a second one. You arch your back and you feel your legs start to shake and then finally you come undone.

As you come down from your high, you pull Jake up to you and kiss him. Tasting yourself on his tongue. He pulls away and you groan as you watch him pull on his jeans. 

“Guess I didn’t get out of going?” you ask, and he passes you a dress. “Correct m’lady.”

—

Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it

My love

As you walk into the Hard Deck, Jake grabs hold of your hand. You spot everyone by the pool tables and they all yell greetings when they spot y’all. Nat passes you a beer as you sit with her and Bob. The conversation flows as it always does and it seems nothing’s changed.

You watch Jake play pool with Mickey and remind yourself of what Jake said earlier. But you also take comfort in knowing places where no one knows either of you that you can go when you need to get away from the group. For now, though, you let yourself enjoy the night and look forward to finishing up what you and Jake started earlier. 

they take their shots, but we're bulletproof

I know places

(I) and you know for me, it's always you

I know places

(I) in the dead of night, your eyes so green

I know places

(I) and I know for you, it's always me

I know places

click here for the next part!

taglist: @harperdoodle, @weirdothatwritess, @rosiahills22

#top gun fandom #top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #Spotify

[bobafett]

stealing this because the boops made me realize how much i miss tag games.

How many works do you have on AO3? A grand total of 14. I am not a prolific writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 63,880. Please see above answer.

What fandoms do you write for? Batman and Star Wars. I have a little bit of Supernatural fic posted on an alt account, and I've been turning over an idea for an OW fic in my head for a while, but it takes me a long time to figure out how to write in a fandom in a way that still captures the "vibes" of the source material (which is always one of my goals). So I rarely branch out.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? New Cornerstone (suitless!Vader AU from a million years ago), Brothers in Arms (Jon starts to get an inkling that his best friend has perhaps not had a normal childhood), Setting the Bone (Selina Kyle: reluctant parental figure), In This Twilight (Damian and Jason brotherly bonding, first batfam fic I ever wrote), and Try to Sweep the Darkness Out (batfam Christmas special that I've almost orphaned 10 times because I hate the writing choices I made in it so much). None of the fics I'm actually proud of are on this list. Tragic.

Do you respond to comments? Irregularly and unpredictably! I will if I feel like I have something to say and it catches me in the right mood.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uh, that would be High Water Mark since it starts with a scene of Cody contemplating suicide and ends with the instant right before Order 66 kicks in.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Problem Solving since it's the only fic I've ever written where I was actually trying to be light hearted.

Do you get hate on fics? Never, thankfully.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I thought I could do it successfully, I would. But I'm not, so I don't.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Basically never. There is a Doctor Who/Sherlock fic buried on my old FF.net account. There's also a Super Smash Bros fic on there that I wrote in 2009, which I suppose also counts.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I can't imagine why anyone would.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I never would. I'm too much of a control freak about my writing. Writing, say, shared universe stuff might be fun, but actually co-authoring something would drive me nuts.

What’s your all time favorite ship? What a question. I come back to Jaime/Brienne a lot for reading, but I don't think I'd ever write it. I write a ton of BatCat, but rarely read it because I'm particular. I like Lois/Clark, but I almost never write OR read it. I'm honestly not very ship motivated. Most of the time I filter for a ship because I'm in the mood for its attendant tropes, and if the writing is good, you can sell me on just about anything.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Hmngh. New Cornerstone again. There's 20k of an expanded version of it on my hard drive that I haven't added to since probably 2017. There's something very fun about suitless!Vader as a character because he's such a sparking, destructive livewire of a person, but also I'm experienced enough now to realize how difficult doing justice to that premise is. Also, I'd have to rewatch TCW to get Ahsoka's voice down, and I just don't got time for that shit.

What are your writing strengths? Description and sense of place. Also pretty good at dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses? Fucking. Long fic. Plot in general. I'm horrifically bad at it.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm usually inclined to keep all my dialogue in English, but it would depend on the context and the effect I was going for.

First fandom you wrote for? Purposefully? Inuyasha. Without having any idea what fanfic was? I created an Artemis Fowl fairy OC and stuck her in Indiana Jones when I was 10 years old.

Favorite fic you’ve written? They Don't Sing Songs For Me. No contest. It's perfectly captures what I think is the ideal form of fanfic: two characters who have absolutely no business interacting with each other building a compelling relationship dynamic over the course of 9k words.

I will be tagging @panharmonium, @apostatefrog, @dead-ghost-walking, @ryehouses, @yellowocaballero, @lazuliquetzal. Also anyone else who wants to. I will bring back tag games by force of will, so help me God.

#nothing like looking at your own AO3 archive to make you realize how much you've grown as a writer since 2015 #from the beehive

[moffeeco]

Spamton Feeling Control Analysis

Posting this on here because I dont know where else to put it so... here :D

My friends are PERFECTLY OKAY with doing this for me, just a heads up. My gf and friend had no prior knowledge of Deltarune before this, so this is raw first time feelings.

~My gf's answer~

When I asked her to tell me how the song Dialtone made her feel, she told me it gave her a "familiar yet creepy vibe like one of those disturbing yet familiar pictures". If you're wondering what kind of images she meant, search up Dreamcore and you'll understand. Something like this:

I got curious and sent a full video of all of Spamton's shop dialogue, and asked her to watch it while listening to the music and how it made her feel. She said: "I feel disturbed and confused and concerned".

When I asked her about what lines freaked her out, she sent me the lines saying:

... BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU.

... can anyone hear me? Help...

... ... Mike...

TAKE THIS DEAL AND YOU WILL [[Die]]!! IT'S THAT GOOD!

VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [Hyperlink Blocked].

(5 out of the 14 sent)

She also said that the glitching before/during speaking was kinda creepy too. She also said, "Don't answer my theories but it's almost like their's 2 people controlling him. And like, one's trying to help us and the other one isn't...?"

So then she watched the Spamton Neo boss (just the fight) and told me, "It made me feel slightly disturbed but also kinda sad". These are the disturbing things she gave me:

I WON'T HAVE TO BE JUST A PUPPET ANY MORE!!!

WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? It's still DARK... SO DARK!

H E A V E N

I JUST NEED THAT LITTLE, [[SOUL]]

WOW!! I'M SO [Proud] OF YOU, I COULD [Killed] YOU!

[Heaven], are you WATCHING?

IT'S CALLING, KRIS... MY [Heart]... MY [Hands]...

*Spamton begs to the audience. *Spamton prays to the audience

[Die Now] AND I'LL THROW IN [50] [Bullets] FOR FREE!

ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS [Mike]!? I'M FINNALY

HERE I GO!!! WATCH ME FLY, [MAMA]!!!

For the Dealmaker's collection dialogue, the saddest parts in her mind were:

It seems after all I couldn't be anything more than a simple puppet.

With a power like that... maybe you three can break your own strings.

She said that she relates to Ralsei because she would also want to make her friends feel alright after how creepy and traumatizing that was.

So, all in all, Spamton made her feel... unsettled and sad.

~My best friend's answer~

I asked him to listen to Dialtone, and he told me, "It kept me on edge, and it felt like something bad was about to happen".

He said that nothing really 'scared or disturbed him' but some things did catch his eye. These were what he sent me:

BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU.

MANSION... BASEMENT! FIND IT!

... ... Mike...

[[Amazed by thi5 amazing transformation? You too can]] HAVE A [[Communion]] WITH [[Unintelligible Laughter]

That was all he gave me because he was busy, so I didnt get much of anywhere with him unfortunately.

So, Spamton made my friend feel on edge, unsettled.

~My answer~

Dialtone made me feel some sort of bitter comfort, like I know too much and even though I'm at a horrible time, place, etc., everything will be okay in the end. But the phone ringing ruined it and made it feel more like some sort of suspense, like in a horror movie. If I could make it a picture, it would be this:

I watched the shop and continued on my way in this theory, and these are some lines that stuck with me:

I USED TO BE NOTHING BUT THE E_MAIL GUY, BUT NOW I'M THE [[It burns! Ow! Stop! Help me! It burns!]] GUY!

No! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to--

... can anyone hear me? Help...

... But it sounded like they were talking to you.

His boss fight is all in all disturbing, but lines like:

HERE I GO!!! WATCH ME FLY [MAMA]!!!

Smells like rotten glass.

There is no audience.

I WON'T HAVE TO BE JUST A PUPPET ANYMORE!

His ending dialogue seems the normal depressing sadness that you would expect from one of Toby's games. The end conversation feels off, like someone isn't saying something that needs to be said. It could be Ralsei, or Kris, but something feels like it needs to be noticed but isn't. I relate to Susie, like are they just not going to talk about that? It was extremely weird to not be noticed.

So Spamton made me feel uncomfortable, but also relaxed in some weird way.

How does he do this? I don't know. Maybe he radiates the energy of "I can help you and I understand you" while also being effectively horrifying at the same time.

I don't know completely though. Spamton might have been meant to add a little bit of horror and feeling to a mostly memeable chapter, which is okay, but he's SO DARN COMPLICATED.

My brother has informed me that the future chapters will most likely mild horror, which is weird but not weird considering Deltarune isn't really a "horror" game. Maybe Toby is easing us into it. But it won't come to my mind when I hear "horror game".

Maybe Spamton isn't meant to be horror, but he's meant to teach you something about taking control of your life? It's difficult to tell considering Chapter 2 is mostly memes lol.

Thanks for wasting your time reading this, I appreciate it.

#deltarune #deltarune theory #theory #analysis #deltarune analysis #spamton #secret boss

[ag-eh-dac]

Dtblr Secret Playlist Exchange

Playlist here

Okay, so, finding a theme was hard, so in the end I decided to share a playlist full of songs that has a lyric or a concept that resonates and/or got permantaly stuck in my brain. It’s sounds cheesy, but I hope that giving you, @tooshisms , this playlist will feel more like a gift this way, rather than just a list of songs I happen to like.

However, obviously, all of the thought process for a theme like this isn’t obvious to a person that isn’t hooked up to my head, so under the cut I have explained my choices, so that hopefully, you understand where my enjoyment for each of these songs come from, and also maybe have them rattle around in your brain!

(Also, I know when the word resonate is brought up, or when talking about lyrics in general, it tends to bring the feeling of “yeah, these lyrics are like, so deep man”, and yeah obviously some on this list have that feeling, the majority of these are a little more fun than that, at least I hope)

[These are in alphabetical order, I personally think this playlist works best shuffled]

1. “Arson” - j-hope [of BTS]: the concept of this song is what put it on the list, which is encompassed in the lines “내 스스로가 과열이 될 수밖에 없던 /  뭣도 모른 무식한 내 야망의 원동력 “ - “What gave me no other option but to overheat inside /  was the motivation fueled by my blind ambition“. I am a sucker for referring to dreams and passion as a something that is wild and untameable like fire, so an entire song about burning yourself and everything around you in your pursuit of achieving your dreams makes my brain purr. there are a couple of other lines I could wax poetic about as well, but the summary for all of it is that, frankly, fire metaphors make me very happy. anyway, this is a link to properly translated lyrics, if you want it.

2. “emails I didn’t send” - Sabrina Carpenter: so something that I really like in a song, is a “story song” i.e. a song that has little to no repetition, but manages to still have a singy-songy quality to it. also, love a song that is someone’s, like a song that belongs to one person, and no one else can really do it justice, which I think this song is a line that encompasses what I like the most about this song is “And if I do then I blame you for every worst that I assume” it’s not necessarily clever in a word play sense or a metaphor sense, but it is a very good example of the specific choices in words to make this song read like an actual story.

3. “The Jester” - Badflower: “The dinner table’s full and there’s no room for me to sit” I love this song for the same “story-song” reasons as number 2, and the idea of a jester in a court being the representation for loneliness is also something I love, given that usually we (obviously) view the jester as just the entertainment, kind of how musicians can be viewed nowadays. anyway, I’m not sure if I would call the entire song “lyrically deep”, but I do love myself a good metaphor, I can’t lie.

4. “Kiss Me” - Sixpence None The Richer: okay, idk if i can accurately explain why this one is on this list, but like, when I was trying to think of more songs I kept coming back to the content feeling that the line “So, kiss me” gives me. and I think it’s entirely because of the word ‘so’ being used, because it makes it seem like an obvious answer, that this relationship is so comfortable that the answer to all problems is a simple kiss, which is almost fairytale-esque. anyway I think that’s a really romantic sentiment so even though the song isn’t necessarily focused on the lyrics, it evokes a strong enough feeling in me to be on this list, even if that emotion is just warm contentment.

5. “Let Me Down Slowly” - Alec Benjamin: “Could you find a way to let me down slowly?” is honestly such a heart-breaking line. like, the feeling of I know you don’t owe me anything, but can you please, please be kind when you kill me. I don’t really know what else to say about it tbh, and I know it’s not a unique concept or anything, but it gives me such a visceral image of the actual numbness most break-ups have, no anger or real sadness, just desperate numbness.

6. “Little Wonder” - Architects, Mike Kerr: there’s a lot of lines I could pick in this one, because it’s full of “one-liners” or like, “flipped-phrases”, but I love, love, love the line “If we miss the deadline, we can always blame the divine”. idk exactly why (which seems to be a re-occurring theme here lmao) but this line rattled around in my head for ages after I first heard it. I think I like that’s a line that should be one filled with despair at not being able to complete your important task, but instead, before we even know the outcome we’re already blaming someone else casually. and you get to decide why, are we blasé because we know the outcome and we are resigned to our fate, or are we so confident that we will succeed that the only way for us to fail is “divine” intervention? I kind of like the second option better tbh.

7. ”Lost” - Dermot Kennedy: ok, so unlike the last one, I actually immediately knew exactly which line I was going to pick from this one before I’d even re-listened to it. “My sense of wonder is just a little tired”. I adore this line so much because it is so reassuring to me as someone who has always been scared that as I grow older I’m losing my sense of wonder and awe for the world around me. so the idea that my feelings of wonder are just a little bit tired and just needs a wee rest is so comforting. like, that one day they’ll be well rested enough for me to be able to look at the world and feel the same way I did when I was 7. the song itself is about having your resilience being powered by the love from the people around you and returning that love, and I think wonder as a concept fits really well in that.

8. “MANTRA” - Bring Me The Horizon: okay, so this song is obviously a bit more overtly political than others on this list, but i fucking adore the line “Before the truth will set you free, it’ll piss you off”. the simplicity in the delivery of one of the hardest facts you have to acknowledge when you get older and start learning how the world actually works is pretty smart. it also harkens back to an old quote (that i have no idea who the source is) of “If you’re not angry then you’re not paying attention” which has unironically become a bit of a mantra for me (ha!). also the use of a robotic voice saying the word “mantra” in the chorus is so fucking smart, both because it sounds cool, but also because this choice in and of itself conveys the point of the song. i really love when a song uses .... outside sources (i guess that’s the word i’m choosing here) to help its message rather than just exposition dumping.

9. “The Only Exception” - Paramore: genuinely, i think the concept of “You are the only exception” is one of the single most romantic things you can say or feel about someone (and i will not be taking criticism on this opinion). the idea that one person can make you feel so happy/content that you are a soft person around them is so sweet. the song just make me feel warm, ya know?

10. “Raging on a Sunday” - Bohnes: i remember looping this song for hours when i first heard it, and it was entirely because of the phrase “I should be at church but I’m raging on a Sunday”. bro, i don’t even really know what this means, i’m only like half sure what this song is about, but i catch myself mumbling the chorus to myself every couple of weeks and if that isn’t the definition of stuck in my head than i don’t know what is tbh. i literally have no other notes, the like is just fun.

11. “Respect” - BTS: the whole concept of this song is so cool, and kind of encompasses why i love hearing other people talk about languages. this song is entirely based around the fact that the word respect doesn’t make sense to the two rappers (RM and SUGA), because the direct translation into Korean means something different. the rest of the song is about people using the word respect “wrong” in their opinion (if you’ve seen parasite this will make more sense), that people don’t give enough respect to the word respect. as for my favourite line, it has to be “ Re-spect 말 그대로 보고 자꾸 보는 거 /  자꾸 보다보면은 단점이 보여 /  But 그럼에도 자꾸 보고 싶단 건 /  필요하지 그 누구를 향한 완벽한 신념 “ “ Re-spect, like the word itself, it’s to look and look again /  When you keep looking at someone, you’re bound to see their flaws /  But, the fact that you nonetheless want to keep looking / requires absolute faith in that someone”. it’s such a cool interpretation of the word itself, and even though it’s kind of “stoner logic” it’s still awesome to think about. anyway, this is a link to the properly translated lyrics if you want it.

12. “Science & Faith” - The Script: this is another one that i  like because of the romanticism of the lyrics, even though this song is about trying and failing to explain love with science. “You won’t find faith or hope down a telescope / You won’t find heart and soul in the stars / You can break everything down to chemicals / But you can’t explain a love like ours” is such a banger concept. i remember hearing this song in the car on the radio when i was a child and being fascinated, because i was very much the kid who constantly asked “But, why?” to everything, and like this was kind of the first time when it came to talking about feelings that i didn’t feel the need to question it, because it was kind of a nice feeling the thought that there’s no reason for love, you just do it because you want to.

13. “Still Life” - RM [of BTS] ft. Anderson .Paak: okay this is the song that inspired this theme, because i watched a “making of the album” video about the album this song is on, and again (like “Respect”), the concept for this song shows how fucking cool learning other languages is. “Still Life” is the phrase we use for art that is of objects, like flowers or fruit. because RM is not a native English speaker, when he first read this phrase, his first thought was “oh art that keeps an object still alive, still full of life after death”, which is such a good way to think about art, that even though the flowers in this picture are long dead and so is the artist, the flowers are still alive in the canvas because of the care the artist put into it, and so the artist themself is alive too. it’s kind of similar to the concept of “Coco” or the ancient Egyptian belief that once you were forgotten you ceased to exist in the afterlife. i could go on and on about how i felt when i first heard the idea behind this song, but this is already a very long post, so ill just leave with the lines “ 멈추지 않는 정물 /  또 피워 나의 꽃을” “  A still object that keeps on moving /  I keep on blooming my flower “. this is a link to the properly translated lyrics if you want it.

14. “This Hell” - Rina Sawayama: this is such a fun song in general, and “Got my invitation to eternal damnation” is so fucking funny. yeah, i dont really know how to properly express my love for this song, but it’s such a cool expression of community in strife, that it doesn’t matter that we’re apparently going to hell for being ourselves, because we’re going to hell together, and i think that’s really sweet.

15. “Unconditional” - Picture This: okay, last one finally, because this is genuinely longer than some essays ive written, sorry. right, this is again another romantic idea, but it’s the concept that unconditional isn’t just the adjective you use in front of love, but it’s also an emotion in its own right that gets me fucked up. i also love referring to the love between them as “This magic”, not a magic thing, just straight up a magic. so fucking cool. finally i love the line “Baby I wish we could take this feeling / And put it away somewhere safe till we need it” just so sweet. you can tell i’m at the end of this because my praises have become very repetitive, but they are still praises nonetheless, the song is sweet.

okay, that’s the end, I hope you enjoyed the playlist, and also that this didn’t bore the shit out of you! <33 

[vacantgodling]

2022 Year in Review Tag!

thanks so much @magic-is-something-we-create i feel like this year has been a huge jumble ngl but let’s be positive about it lol :’)

also this is just a general list not top 5 cuz i didn’t do much this year

5 movies i watched

in terms of new movies:

american psycho — i actually enjoyed this movie a lot but it’s genuinely bc this movie is much funnier than i thought it would be. all deeper meanings and commentary aside patrick bateman is a fucking specimen

kwaidan — obsessed with this movie ngl. the first three segments are top tier (kurokami, yukionna & HOICHI THE EARLESS ESPECIALLY IF YOU WATCH NO OTHER PART PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE I CANNOT PRAISE IT ENOUGH). however the last one was super lackluster in comparison to the other three. tbh i feel like if the last one was the first one it would be a really good progression from okay to the best bc you really can’t follow hoichi the earless with anything imo.

tales from crypt (1972) — watched a lot of old horror this year (bc my partner is a horror movie buff and has been getting me into them for awhile now lolol) but this movie was a lot of fun! i want more ridiculous anthologies and movies tbh. make movies fun again tm.

jeepers creepers — never seen it before and MY GOD was screaming the whole time i was watching bc no?? we do not need to investigate you KNOW it’s a creature. all of this might’ve been avoided if y’all just minded your damn business 😔

then off the top of my head i rewatched my comfort movie sherlock holmes bc fuck iron man, rdj’s sherlock is his best role to me. i definitely wanna watch more movies next year.

5 shows i watched

ah i mostly just watched anime this year

chainsaw man — stressed. everyone is sketchy and i’m stressed

rewatch of demon slayer with my friend bc demon slayer is the only thing that matters :) finally have hulu so i can fucking watch season 2 i just haven’t gotten around to it yet 😭

way of the househusband — finally got around to watching the anime this year and just as the manga, it’s perfect

jujutsu kaisen — i love it but at what cost. also i’m a simp for nanami oof

death parade / nana — i’ve only watched the first episodes of each but nana stresses me out (lovingly) and i think death parade is fascinating i just need to make more time to watch shit lol

5 songs of 2022 (*separate from spotify wrapped*)

odo — ado -> got introduced to this song recently and just absolutely obsessed with it. it’s the song that may be sparking a change in one of my wips that i mentioned lol

devil — max changmin -> came out in january and this song owns the whole fucking year idc idc idc

go back — se so neon -> UGH THIS BAND their songs slap so hard but go back is genuinely just so good

濁 (daku) — the gazette -> this whole album. but i want this song directly injected into my veins.

better — boa -> CRACK. THERES CRACK IN THIS SONG. but boa >>>>>>

5 albums or artists of 2022

i don’t have 5 but these three specifically:

devil (the 2nd mini album) — max changmin -> this album owns my ass. cannot believe he started the year like this. how fucking dare lol.

the gazette, always my beloveds

lowlife princess: noir — bibi -> she snapped with this one. every song and mv snapped. bibi vengence & animal farm especially

5 books i read

definitely didn’t read 5 books lol didn’t have time or space mentally. however i will say i started to read bram stoker’s dracula this year, got stuck on the part about paprika, thought it was hilarious and never finished chapter 1. it’s super good from the bit i read so far, i’m just easily amused and don’t have patience 😔

5 characters from media

nanami (jjk) — feral about a man a single man

like everyone in demon slayer but tanjiro komado my fucking BELOVED 😭

hanzo (ovw) — 6 years strong obsessing over this man pff

link — i am once again pointing at my botw self insert au side blog lmaoooo

gojo / rengoku share a spot only bc i love them but ow pain :)

sorry i don’t listen to podcasts lol

and finally

5 positive things that happened in 2022 no matter how small:

got conveyor belt sushi for the first time! i wish it was closer by but maybe it’s better i’d be there every day

created a new writeblr so i could start getting more confident talking about my stories. i think it’s marginally worked! i’m working on myself still but i feel like i’ve been more open and indulgent this year

5 years with my partner!

had a pretty good birthday for the first time in years

despite the struggles working from home has done a lot for my mental health and i want to try and secure another wfh job in the future.

this is an open tag! i hope everyone had a decent year to some extent 💛

#about renjamin #ren mix

[bellshazes]

four minutes of bdoubleO100 losing his mind and singing, ft. etho, guude, and scar, and including iconic hits such as two bajs and the etho's lab theme song. extremely long transcript under the cut.

bdubs: "you jerk. it's two bajs has been stuck in my head all day, every day." well I'm sorry, listen, I'm sorry that I'm great at writing music. I'm sorry that I've written the best hit single of the year.

bdubs: [singing] it's two bajs, they're comin' to your town! it's two bajs, they're gonna show you around! one gets work done, the other does nothin', one [stops singing] oh dangit, ran out of words to the song... [singing again] but it's two bajs, they're comin' to your town, to your town! sing it baj! [talking] nothin'.

bdubs: but apparently I've lost it, so don't worry about it guys.

guude: you have, man, you have straight up, no questions asked, lost your mind.

bdubs: nope!

bdubs: hello quartz tree, I love you. have a good day. [places block wrong, then it falls when he tries to remove it] boom. ow, fricker. bing - bang tang. dang. [laughs, then sings] english language, I refuse to speak in english language

bdubs, going up some stairs: [singing it's algebra day with B-double-O! [laughs]

budbs: [singing] movin' on up... to the east side... let's go take a look at this now

bdubs: [singing, etho laughing in the background] welcome to a BdoubleO adventure, we're goin' for a ride, we're gonna die, woopa doopa doop

bdubs: [singing, strained] not when you're playing with Eazy E!

bdubs: [singing] I wanna sing this song -

guude, cutting him off: ugh

bdubs, over etho's laughter: okay. alright, alright.

bdubs: no but I am - from the bottom of my heart, I'll never sing. [starts singing] it's two bajs, they're comin' to your town. it's two bajs - [talking] I won't sing ever again.

bdubs: [singing] I'm doing just fine, I don't have a problem

bdubs: [singing] I'm traveling through the dark, through the dark, through the dark (dark!)

bdubs, passing a chunk error: [singing] world hole, world hole, world hole, go away

bdubs, killing cows with a sword: [singing] boom padoom boom boom boom padoom boom

bdubs, next to goodtimeswithscar and a cake: [singing] happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear [switches to a high pitch] scar

scar: oh, wow!

bdubs: [singing] happy birthday [in a whisper] to you.

bdubs: [singing] etho's trying his best to blow it up, I hope he doesn't, I hope he tries -

bdubs: [singing] you're watching etho's lab! you're watching etho's lab!

etho and guude: [laughing]

etho: I love it.

bdubs: what do you think?

guude: it's the worst, really. there's nothing that could be worse.

bdubs: [singing while guude and etho talk over him] I don't wanna talk, about some things,

etho: it's not that bad.

guude: oh, please, kill me.

bdubs, continued: I wanna move on, I want to beat this map, I don't wanna fight

guude: just kill me.

etho: where are you? I'll do it.

guude: i just wanna die

bdubs: I won't sing ever again. [singing] they're gonna show you around. one gets work done [talking] whoops, I'll never. we're done. I'm sorry. [singing] the other does nothin'. [talking] oh, okay. [snickers] you been trolled. I just got that stuck in your head all day. welcome to hell! [laughs]

[blank screen for 5 seconds]

guude: if there's anyone still watching, it's a miracle!

etho: I'm starting to like it!

etho: I'm telling you guys, you're gonna see BdoubleO on Amercan Idol someday. that guy's got a beautiful voice.

#bdoubleo100 #ethoslab #guude #scar #hermitcraft #OOGE #like 1/3rd of this is just ep 11 of Kaizo Caverns #in which - you MUST understand - he was quite drunk. #the rest is etho's lp / building with bdoubleO circa 210 / bdubs' mindcrack s4 in the 30s #I'd have kept going but the godawful default video editor kept going nonresponsive so four min will do for this installment #peter's clips #daily cursed bdubs clip

[keiluvsu]

Thigh trend on tiktok w// shoto todoroki, katsuki bakugo & izuku midoriya.

↳ pairings: shoto todoroki, katsuki bakugo, & izuku midoriya x gn!reader.

↳ genre: fluff.

↳ a/n; ik, ik, this is old 😓💔. butttttt i still wanted to do this. so enjoy it 😡👊🏽👊🏽.

SHOTO TODOROKI;

“uh..hey babe,” your boyfriend walked into your room, his phone clutched in his left hand. “uh...hey sho...” you eyeballed him from the bed, pausing the youtube video you were watching.

he laid down on the bed next to you, resting his head on top of yours. “can we do this?” he asked nonchalantly, holding out his phone for you to take. you took it and unpaused the video, seeing a guy laying inbetween his s/o’s thighs.

you looked at todoroki, his eyes fixated on his fingers that he was fiddling around with. “yeah, come on.” you laughed, handing his phone back to him. a smile curled on his lips and he moved in front of you, spreading your legs so he could lay inbetween them.

as soon as he laid down, your hands went to his hair, playing with it. he clicked the sound and held his phone up so his face so your lower tummy and your hand in his hair can be seen.

he started playing the music and and lip synced to it, a faint blush on his face. you were humming the words as well, waiting for the video to end.

when it did, he posted the video without any caption or tags, throwing his phone onto the bed. “don’t stop playing with my hair please.” he closed his eyes, sighing. all you did was roll your eyes and laugh at his cuteness.

─◌✰್

later that day, you were scrolling on your fyp when you coincidentally see the video that your boyfriend took earlier. the video had 400k+ likes, and 13k+ comments, which were filled with people saying stuff like “oh to be that person💔”, and “hey lol be mines instead”. it was annoying honestly, but you didn’t really care since it was you who’s thighs he was inbetween, not theirs.

KATSUKI BAKUGO;

“why hello there, my mean but loving boyfriend!” you dramatically threw yourself onto bakugo, kissing his lips a few times. “WHAT THE- don’t ever scare me like that again!” he glared at you, pulling you onto the bed next to you.

“yeah, yeah, whateverrr,” you rolled your eyes. “can we do this trend thingy on tiktok where you lay in between my thighs and lip sing to a song?” you laid your head on his stomach, looking over at him.

“no. it sounds stupid.” he grumbled, going back to reading his book...which you took out his hand. “give it back, dammit!” he glared at you again. “only if you agree to do the trend with me.” you moved your hand away from him.

“ugh, fine.” he stood up off the bed, forcing your legs open. “you naughty man!” your eyes widened as you teased him. “shut up and give me your fucking phone.” he put his head on your crotch, holding his hand up.

you looked for the sound you wanted to use and when you found it, you handed the phone to bakugo. “he listened to the sound a few times before starting the video. you couldn’t help but laugh at the way he was blushing. that was until he bit your inner thigh.

“ow! what the—” your leg shifted, making him start to laugh. the video ended and you snatched your phone from him, looking at the video. you watched it a few times, smiling at the new memory you guys just made.

“so are you gonna post it?” he looked at you. you almost jumped seeing his arms flat across your stomach with his head resting on them. “yes, i’m gonna post it.” you stuck your tounge out at him. you captioned the video ‘y’all could never 😏’ before posting it and turning off your phone.

“okay so— woah what are you-” your eyes widened as you saw bakugo taking off your shorts. “what does it look like you idiot?” he responded.

IZUKU MIDORIYA;

“h-hey there..babe,” midoriya smiled at you, cringing at the way he was already blushing. “hey.” you smiled, making room for him on the bed. “so..what’s up?” your reached your hand up, putting them in his hair.

“oh..well uh..i wanted to know if you heard of that thigh trend on tiktok?” he looked over at you. “it’s basically where someone lays their head inbetween their significant other’s thighs..” he blushes deeply, averting your gaze.

“hmm? sure, why not.” you replied half dazed, immersed into the show you were watching. your boyfriend quickly got in front of you, shyly spreading your legs. he didn’t know why he was so shy, seeing as he’s opened your legs on several occasions before.

he laid inbetween your thighs, smiling as he felt your hand come in contact with his hair again. he looked up, seeing you still very immersed into that show. he pulled out his phone and opened the tiktok app, searching his favorite sounds for the one he wanted to use.

he let out a sigh of relief once he found it and positioned his phone to where everything but your face could be seen. he started recording, blushing even more as you started massaging his scalp.

the video ended and he watched it more than 3 times, admiring the video. he eventually captioned it with ‘my love :))’ before posting it. and not even 5 minutes after he posted it, his comments were filled with “spain without the s 😔” and “wishing that was me </3”.

he didn’t care for those type of comments, just simply ignoring them. he did like the comments that were saying sweet stuff, such as; “you two are so cute!” and “if this isn’t my relationship, i don’t want it”. he turned off his phone and closed his eyes. just savoring the moment between you two.

even if you weren’t entirely paying attention ;).

#shoto x you #bakugo x y/n #gn!reader #mha #anime #bnha bakugo katsuki #izuku x reader #midoriya izuku #oneshot #fanfic #todoroki fluff #bnha fluff #bakugo fluff #midoriya fluff #todoroki x reader #midoriya x reader #kei simps

[baroquebucky]

hello!! how are you? i was wondering if i could request a little something with Bucky where the reader convinced him to go to the beach with them, and by the end of the day they confess to each other? i know it’s oddly specific, but i hope you can do it! thank you so so so much!🥺💓

a/n: i hope ur doing well !! sorry if this took a while ,, i hope you enjoy pls ignore any typos <3 also let’s just pretend like there’s a beach near the compound okay cool thank u (requests open !)

bucky finds out he only loves the beach because of you

masterlist

You narrowed your eyes, hoping to make Bucky crack under pressure.

“It’s just one day! Cmon it’ll be fun!” You protested, groaning as Bucky smirked as he licked his lips, turning away from you.

“i don’t like the beach” he stated simply, shrugging his shoulders and focusing on the tv infront of him.

“well too bad, it’s not even a whole day, just one afternoon please bucky” you pouted, putting on hand on his thigh and looking at him pleadingly.

Bucky felt his heart rate spike, you were so cute, he would do anything for you. But no, he hated the beach, the sand would get everywhere and it’s so hot.

“sorry y/n” Bucky shrugged and you sighed, getting up from the couch and heading to your room, wondering how to convince the super soldier to go.

The next day you were sat next to Sam, complaining about how Bucky wouldn’t go with you.

“i told him it would be so bad, i was gonna confess and everything i had it all planned out” you spoke, voice lowered so only sam could hear.

He was quiet for a few moments, coming up with a plan quickly, a smirk on his face as Bucky entered the living room.

“yeah I’ll go to the beach with you” Sam spoke, a charming smile on his face, Bucky turned to face the two of you.

You furrowed your brows but quickly caught on, a smile breaking onto your face. Throwing your arms around sam you squealed.

“yay! I’ll pack the sandwiches and fruits right now, i have my change of clothes packed already” you smiled, Bucky looking at you with doe eyes.

“oh hi buck” you grinned, moving past him.

“you’re uh- you going with Wilson?” Bucky spoke, clearing his throat and trying to hide his jealousy.

“yeah, you didn’t wanna go so i figured I’d go with someone else” you shrugged, eyeing him.

“wh- i never said no” Bucky protested, watching you fill the basket with some of his favorite fruits. “technically speaking i never actually rejected the offer” he continued.

You furrowed your eyebrows and stopped moving for a second.

“I guess you didn’t huh, but you said you hate the beach so” you trailed off, closing the basket and making eye contact with the super soldier.

“cant be that bad if I’m with you doll” he smirked and you blushed, clearing your throat and looking down at the basket.

“so you do wanna go to the beach” you stated, walking past him and setting the basket on the counter near the door, sitting back down on the couch near sam.

“yeah” Bucky spoke, turning to face you and you nodded. Sam fought the smile on his face, acting like he had to take a call, leaving only the two of you in the living room.

“okay well you should back some towels and stuff then” you stated and Bucky nodded, getting up and going to his room to get everything he needed.

Sam soon emerged from the hall, a smirk on his face as you broke out into a fit of giggles.

“Sam Wilson you genius” you grinned, hugging him.

“i know, i know, now you go have fun, for the love of god i hope he finally admits he liked you” he groaned, “tired of seeing him pining all the damn time.”

You took your bag and the basket and set them in the backseat of the car, making sure you had everything and waiting in the drivers seat, music playing from the speakers.

Bucky soon walked out, setting his bag in the backseat and hopping in the passengers seat.

“Sam said he had a netting come up so he couldn’t come” he turned to you and you nodded, turning the volume up a bit.

“guess you’re stuck with just me huh” you joked and Bucky smiled, looking out the window as you pulled away from the compound.

The drive was long, but with Bucky there to crack jokes you felt the time fly by. Singing songs he had learned from your playlists and humming along to some 40’s songs you had grown to love because of Bucky.

When you finally arrived, your stomach was growling, jumping out of the car and pulling Bucky along to a nice table near the shore, only a little bit away from the sand.

You both unpacked the food, handing each other your favorite fruits and some other snacks you packed.

“i don’t know what you do but these are so good” bucky smiled after finishing the sandwiched you had packed, giving him the rest of yours once you got full.

“i think we were just really hungry because that was the best one I’ve ever made” you spoke, drinking some water and resting your chin in your hand.

“I was thinking we can go for a swim and then change and then go for a walk while the sunsets” you spoke, watching as the super soldier put the glass containers back into the basket, carefully closing it because focusing his attention back to you.

“sounds great doll” he grinned, getting up with you to go put the basket back in the car.

“race you to the water” you giggled, taking off before you even finished your sentence, stretching your legs as far as they go to try and outrun him.

Bucky smiled as you ran, he waited a couple second knowing he could easily catch up. He closed the car door and sprinted after you, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around right before you got to the water.

“that’s cheating! I would’ve beat you!” You laughed, squirming in his arms so he would set you down. Bucky smiled at you as you poured at him, arms crossed.

“i gave you a 5 second head start and you’re complaining?” He teased and you hugged, flailing your arms in the air.

“look at me I’m Bucky and i can run so fast” you mocked, lowering your voice to imitate him.

“I don’t even talk like that!” he argued, frowning as you mocked him.

“i don’t even talk like that” you giggled as he frowned, quickly swooping you off the ground and running into the water.

“wait i was joking!” You spoke, eyes widening as a wave crashed into both of you, soaking you to the bone and both of your hair dripping wet, clothes clinging to your bodies.

“i was joking!” Bucky replied, making his voice a higher pitch to mock you, a smirk on his lips as you looked at him in shock.

The two of you messed around in the water for a while, eventually getting out and heading to some showers to change before the sun began to set.

You two met back at the car, Bucky in a t shirt and some shorts and you in float shorts and a hawaii t shirt he absolutely despised.

“you brought that shirt? Really?” He groaned and you smiled at him.

“it’s the beach!” You beamed at him, his gaze softening as you smiled at him.

“only you could pull that off doll face” he smiled and you blushed, closing the car door and mumbling something to yourself.

The two of you talked softly as the sunset, smiling at each other’s comments and acredites while the waves hit the sand. You don’t know how far you had walked when you stopped, looking at the red and pinks of the sky, taking a deep breath and looking at Bucky.

“i have to tell you something” you spoke, wringing your hands together and looking at Bucky as he walked closer to you.

“what is it?” he replied, concern written on his face as he looked around for any danger.

“i just- okay well for a long time” you began, fumbling with your words and moving your hands, “okay well not long but kind of long” you rambled, looking at Bucky who was confused. You shook your head and continued.

“after a while of knowing you i was just- i like you, and not like a friend- yes like a friend but more as in like like you” you paused for a moment, “you know?” You stopped and looked him in the eyes.

Bucky could hear your heart rate over the sound of the waves and seagulls, he could hear how fast it was thumping. He could also hear his, a steady beating in his ears as his face flushed and smile broke onto his face.

You, the girl of his dreams, the girl he thought was out of his league liked him. You opened your mouth, about to start rambling but Bucky wasn’t going to give you the chance.

In one quick stride he cupped your face in his hands and pressed your lips together, kissing you deeply, a smile on your face as you gladly returned the kiss.

You both pulled away, lips pink and faces hot. Seconds passed and you were the first to speak up.

“so do you like me” you questioned, chewing on your bottom lip and Buckys mouth fell open.

“we just made out and you think there’s a chance i don’t like you?” He smirked as you fumbled over your words.

“i do like you doll, i want you to be mine, i want to hold you and kiss you and i want you by my side” bucky smiled, looking at you as you smiled, your heartbeat steady in his ears.

“will you be mine?” he asked and you nodded, throwing yourself onto him and he smiled, your legs wrapped around his waist. Bucky placed a soft kiss on your cheek as he set you down.

“so is that a yes” he teased and you rolled your eyes, letting out a groan.

“you know what i take it back” you joked, crossing your arms and walking away from him. Bucky smirked as you grabbed your wrist softly, pulling you to him and connecting your lips.

Your knees grew weak as he pulled away, biting your bottom lip softly.

“still take it back?” he teased and you swallowed your words, rolling your eyes and smiling at him.

Your fingers were laced the whole walk back to the car, smiling at each other and giggling at anything the other said.

Both of you were smitten and neither of you bothered to hide it, proudly telling sam the second you walked back into the compound, the rest of the team cheering for the two of you.

“about damn time” Sam smirked, patting Bucky on the shoulder and giving you a hug.

“Bruce you owe me $20” Nat smiled and the scientist laughed, protesting on how they never shook hands.

Amidst the chaos the two of you slipped away, heading to shower and change before meeting up in Buckys room to watch some movies.

“M happy i can call you mine doll” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head softly and you hummed in agreement.

“I’m glad i finally bagged the most attractive avenger” you grinned, loving the way he blushed at your comment. You moved closer to bucky, you head resting on his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep as the movie played in the background.

Bucky smiled as your breathing steadied, heart growing as everything finally hit him. You were his. You were his and he was gonna do everything he could to give you the world.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes blurb #Bucky Barnes Drabble #soft!bucky barnes #soft bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader

[wizkiddx]

I would for sure read a continuation of the birth photographer fic if you feel comfortable writing it/have time! Xx

a/n sorry I kinda combined these two together, I hope this is okay!! sorry ive taken so long too!! my requests are still open, just going a bit slowly :)

summary: literally just birth + harry

dad!tom x reader

warnings: childbirth, mentions of fainting, squint for suggestiveness too

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Your doing so good darling, just keep breathin’ like that for me, in-out-in-out”

That had pretty much been the soundtrack to your last 3 hours. And yes it was MORE annoying than it sounds. Of course, that’s also ignoring the insane amount of pain your uterus was putting you through - as it spasmed while the little bug in there was wriggling away. Giving birth was not easy but giving birth with a husband-turned-midwife wittering away in your ear? Un-fucking-bearable. 

“Tom…. I love you but..” Everything had really been starting to ramp up in the last half an hour, you were a panting sweaty mess now. “Please… SHUT THE FUCK UP” Tom would’ve recoiled completely away from the bed because of your tone, if it wasn’t for the absolute death grip you had his right hand in. Instead,  Tom settled for straightening straight up and staring helplessly and dejectedly across the room at his brother - who of course was trying to hold back laughter, knowing it would be very easy for you to switch your target to him. 

Clearly it wasn’t a social call to the hospital, Harry was here under the premise of taking photos when the baby arrives for Tom;  but really to stop his brother from having his own breakdown - as commissioned by you. Lets just say, however scared and mortified Harry was of this ‘event’ he was taking a lot of enjoyment from how his brother was acting currently. 

“It’s okay sir, if you were pushing a watermelon out of hole that normally was the size of a whiteboard marker, I’m sure you’d be a bit tetchy too.” That lady was your favourite midwife and in a lull between the sets of contractions, you actually managed a laugh. Wide-eyed, Tom just nodded jerkily, murmuring some sort of agreement. It was at this point a flash of light reverberated around the whole room, causing you to breathlessly laugh, Harry’s face informing you the picture he just got of Tom was priceless. 

The laughter didn’t last long though, the next contraction had you bearing down on the bed, face contorted in pain as you sucked desperately on the gas and air tube. 

“Okay Y/n I think we might be getting there, let me call the senior midwifes in okay?” The midwife had your legs hiked apart, a blanket attempting to cover your modesty - but at this point she was basically sticking her face in your noon. Modesty was out the window. 

“Already?” Tom was shocked to say the least, from all his reading and research he’d learnt that the average labour time was more like 5 hours. Lets just say, Tom never exceled in school, never much enjoyed reading - which made the hours of highlighting baby books and pregnancy leaflets all the more extraordinary. 

“Babies don’t stick to the script sir.” You could tell she was proud of the pun there, because you know, Tom’s a moviestar. “Professional improvisers, the lot of them.” 

The cream walls of the hospital room very quickly filled with more and more people - Harry staying like a fly on the wall, now nervously biting his nails as he watched an obscene amount of medical people all take their turn oggling his sister-in-law’s bits. This was a weird ass situation. 

Almost immediately it was at the point the midwifes were telling you to push, which after 9 months of holding a baby in (as well as your ill functioning bladder) sounded like an absolute dream. But it was also absolutely terrifying and exciting and horrifying all wrapped in one. Naturally then, after nodding hesitantly at the midwife between your legs, you’d craned your neck across to tom .You might’ve just told him off, for trying to encourage you, but now? You needed his encouragement. 

What met you though, was his face completely drained of colour, mouth hanging slightly open as he hadn’t moved - still staring intently at the midwife. She followed your gaze, only taking half a second to survey the situation before knowingly smiling. 

“Can we get a bit of help for dad please?” Immediately one of the more junior looking midwives was directing (pushing) Tom into the chair next to the floor. Suddenly actually concerned, you looked with wide eyes to the lady between your legs, who you felt bad for not remembering her name. With a comforting squeeze of your ankle she reassured you he’d be right as rain after a few moments of having his head between his knees. Also sensing you needed your support, she arched up, beckoning over to Harry who had an equally bemused look on his face. 

“No - I-um I’m not.” His squeaking protests were interrupted by a large scream on your part, as another contraction tore through your body. Helplessly Harry glanced between Tom, who was still hunched over on a chair with a nurse squatted infront of him; and you, writhing around on the mechanical bed. He didn’t hesitate then, in jumping right to your side, allowing you to start crushing all the bones in his hand too. 

And then it was all happening, a blur of activity and screams. It didnt take long for Tom to pull himself together and then you were flanked on both sides by Holland boys - both giving cheesy encouraging words (which you would’ve again told them to shut the fuck up for, if you’d been able to), Tom also stroking the top of your head. He found it pretty impossible, watching the woman that he loved go through such immense pain - especially when he was technically half the cause. Well… actually more that that, it had been him who had been… well shall we say *needy* those nine months ago. 

“Okay Y/n the heads crowning, I know you’re tired but we need a few more big pushes, can you do that for me?” 

Merely 5 minutes later and the most beautiful sound in the world echoed through the 4 creams walls. You were absolutely spent, eyes closed as you panted, knowing tears were flooding down your face too. Immediately though, familiar hands cupped both sides of your face, a forehead resting on yours. 

“You did it Y/n/n.” His eyes were glassy, watering and red and the way he scoffed a smile in disbelief had you mirroring him exactly.

“We did it.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from all the yells of pain but it didnt matter. The midwife calling you by the name ‘mum and dad’ got both of your attention, a title you’d no doubt start getting used to. 

“Meet your beautiful baby girl.” Another choked sob escaped your throat, as  this little roughly wrapped up pink alien looking thing was placed onto your chest. Both you and Tom just gazed at her, completely transfixed at the way she wriggled her head slightly, nuzzling into your chest. Tom gently hovered his palm against her little head, while you pressed down the blanket gently, just so you could see all her features. 

Then a flash echoed around the otherwise silent room, making you all look up to Harry who was gritting his teeth in apology. “Do mum and dad want to smile for the camera?” The question was posed so hesitantly and quietly, really it wasn’t funny either. That didn’t stop you and Tom both pulling out the biggest grins and chuckling away, allowing Harry to capture the perfect moment. Being referred to as mum and dad - it was bloody comical. 

“You gonna tell me her name now?”  You looked from Harry to Tom, nodding in approval for him to spill the beans. 

“Amber. She’s Amber.”

You’d squabbled for months before ending on Amber. It had been a long relentless process, Tom claiming that your baby might just have ended up as ‘as yet untitled’ which you and your hormonal state had stormed out at. It hadn’t taken much to forgive it though, Tom had long since worked out that Ben and Jerrys was the way to your heart. 

The nurses took Amber back to do some tests, properly cleaning both you and her up and after that everything was weirdly calm. Harry had left to give the twothree of you a moment alone and Tom was about to do his turn of skin to skin. 

“This really is it isn’t it?” He murmured, whilst carefully scooping Amber from your arms. 

“Mhmmm… your stuck with two girls who’ll go psycho on you without a moments notice.” He seemed to accept it though, just nodding in response. 

“And I still can’t bloody wait.” His eyes penetrating deep into you, had you blushing like a nervous teenage girl. “ ‘m still so proud of you, you grew this little human.”

“Your not allowed to call her little because you didnt have the ‘little’ thing rip your insides apart.”

“Hey! I’m upset about it too! Was like I had to watch my favourite pub being burnt down.” Of course, trust Tom to make a dirty joke at a time like this.

“Don’t kid yourself, you weren’t watching, too busy fainting.”

“I didn’t actually faint!” This time he protested a bit too loudly, causing Amber to mewl a little and bury her head into the crook of her Dads arm. “I think Ambers just told you to shut it too.”

“You annoy the hell out of…” Your grumbling was interrupted by an impressive, ear-splitting yawn. “ You annoy the hell out of me.”

“But you love me?” He sing-songed, now back to a hushed tone. 

“I hope so, otherwise we’re in a bit of trouble.” He scoffed, but nodded his head, taking the hand that wasn’t cradling Amber to tuck some sweaty, knotted strands of hair behind your ear. 

“I do owe Harry though, he was at least able to stay on his feet.”

“He was a better birthing partner than you too, much much less condescending and annoying.” You sniggered, making Tom pout once again, only wiping the look off his face when you yawned again, rubbing an your eye like a toddler would. 

“If your done insulting me… get some rest love, I got you.” All you did was nod, with a small groan (because below your waist still hurt like a bitch) rolled over so you could fall asleep to sight of the two of them. 

“Got you both, my two beautiful girls.”

hope you enjoyed, would love to hear any thoughts <3

taglist: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #Tom Holland blurb #dad!tom #tom holland imagine #harry holland

[watermelonlipstick]

The Hunter With The Dragon Tattoo

This is a request for anon, who asked: 

i don’t know if your requests are open, but if they are, could you do one where the reader has tattoos that dean doesn’t know about and then he sees them when he has to stitch them up after a hunt? (maybe like season 1 or 2 dean) thank you!!!

And then wrote to me privately that they have a dragon tattoo on one shoulder.

It was a lot of fun to write; tons of opportunities to slip in some good classic rock references! I miss in the super early seasons when Sam and Dean seemed to rag on each other pretty much constantly. I hope this is what you were thinking of!

Title: The Hunter With The Dragon Tattoo

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 2589 

Summary: Dean is surprised to discover the reader has tattoos.

Warnings: canon-appropriate violence/mention of blood, swearing, fluff!!

           Sam moves to the middle of the front bench to shuck off his coat as Dean is getting out of the car, and gives it to you with a long arm over the leather. “Can you hand me that blue jacket?”

           You have to over-rotate to use your other hand to grab it, keeping your grip tight on your own shirt in the most bastardized version of a sling. Sam, of course, notices.

           “You think it’s broken or dislocated?”

           A hard chuckle blows out of your nose. “Really hope it’s just dislocated, I’ll tell you that.”

           He gives you a sympathetic smile as he throws on the blue jacket and zips it all the way up to his neck. It looks like he’s covering something up and naturally, he is, thin hoodie and t shirt underneath drenched with enough werewolf blood that it’s clinging to his chest almost pornographically. But his face is untouched and he has use of both his arms which is more than can be said for you or Werewolf Shiner Winchester, making him the only reasonable choice to send for gauze and ACE bandages at the closest pharmacy.

           Dean stops his grimace-covered stretching just outside the car and opens your door with an outstretched hand as Sam slides into the driver’s seat. “You coming?”

           Taking his hand with your good one, you let Dean close the door behind you without any of the normal grumbling about treating you like you’re made of porcelain, in an effort to keep your face neutral around the jolts of pain through your shoulder. Sam pulls out of the motel parking lot ultra-gently like it’s his first day with a learner’s permit the way he does when he knows Dean is watching. It makes you smile to yourself as exhaust dissipates across the cracked blacktop.

           Crossing the asphalt with tired strides Dean opens the motel door for you too, and you walk in before him. “Is that yours?” he asks, dropping his coat on the cheap couch and wincing through the removal of his flannel. In the light of the room you’re better able to see his black eye and realize it’s going to take weeks for that to go away, not relishing another inevitable conversation about makeup to sell a G-man cover story. It makes it so much easier for the families of victims to believe you’re legit when none of you look like you’ve been in a bar fight, but getting Dean to believe cover-up is in the name of the greater good is an uphill battle on the best of days.

           “Is what mine?”

           “The blood you’re covered in like nacho cheese. Dude, if that’s all over the car—”

           He deserves credit for trying not to smile as you try to look over your shoulder like a puppy chasing its tail, but he does guide you over to the mirror on the wall to see. He’s right, blood has seeped all down your coat, sticky and shiny like syrup. It’s far too wet to be from near 30 minutes ago when you got in the car. “Fuck, I really like this jacket.”

           “You have like 5 just like it taking up space in my trunk; you’ll live. Here, take that off, I’ll stitch you up.” Dean starts rifling through his bag for supplies, rolling some kinks out of his neck.

           “It doesn’t even hurt, I just need you to pop my shoulder back in so I can take a shower.”

           “I don’t give a shit what hurts, slugger. You’re going to pass out in the tub if you keep up the stuck pig act.”

           You roll your eyes and reluctantly try to slide your arms out of the jacket, wincing when you jostle the dislocated arm. Dean takes the sopping coat from you and tosses it into the kitchenette sink from where he stands, the concern coloring his face when you look back at him not reassuring you at all. He puts the floss-threaded needle he’d had in his hand between his teeth and starts pulling on your collar.

           “Shoulder first,” you insist, done wiggling and writhing out of clothes before your shoulder is where it belongs.

           Dean’s mouth tightens into a firm line but he backs up to give himself enough room to shove, an exasperated hand beckoning you. “Okay, you ready?” he says around the needle, looking like a farmer field medic with a piece of hay.

           “Yeah just let me—FUCK,” you grunt when he catches you off guard without any preamble, clutching at the shoulder for a moment until you could take a deep breath. You do a test rotation and are happy at the relative lack of pain, trying not to be frustrated that Dean didn’t warn you so you wouldn’t tense up.

           “Shirt off.” Dean’s tone is firm and precise, no room for discussion, as he gets out a lighter and watches intently to heat up the needle.

           “Wow, you sure know how to make someone feel special,” you hum, feeling much looser without the shooting pain from your shoulder. The buttons of the flannel come undone relatively easy, but the fabric makes a sickly wet thwack as you snap it down to rest around your elbows.

           From his spot at your side, you see Dean’s face contort in surprise and watch as he reflexively reaches out a thumb to rub the skin of your shoulder.

           “Ow, what the hell?” you flinch.

           “Has this always been here?” he asks, partly amazed but mostly incredulous as his eyes trace the inky lines of the dragons where they wind around your skin.

           “I wasn’t born with them if that’s what you mean.” You can tell he’s truly shocked because he doesn’t even react to the jab, just hovers a gentle fingertip over the tattoo. “Earth to Dean? I thought you were all scared about me bleeding out.”

           He gulps and clears his throat before covering with a smile that’s a combination of cheeky and shy. “Right, yeah, sorry. Just didn’t realize I was in the presence of The Tattooed Wonder.”

           “Hardly, I only have a few. Now start stitching before I change my mind and wait for Sam; his are way neater than yours anyway.”

           “Few? Where are the other ones? Girls on the back of your leg that hula when you walk?”

           “Nice try.”

           He bites his lip before shifting the strap of your tank top off and sponging the back of your shoulder with a wet towel. When he unceremoniously pours a slug of whiskey over the wound you feel it for the first time and hiss, adrenaline and distraction of the joint pain worn off.

           “Sorry,” he murmurs, already dragging floss tight on a stitch with his teeth and moving on to the next as quickly as he can, half-humming that old Queen song, “gonna get me on the track, got a dragon on my back.”

           You weren’t lying earlier when you’d said that Sam’s stitches were usually cleaner, but Dean is being very careful in a way he usually isn’t—Chicks dig scars, Sammy! Stopped the bleeding, didn’t it?—and you tip your head back to check his work. The extra time he’s taking is to match up the back of one of the dragons, ripped open by a werewolf claw and currently held together by the delicate pinch of Dean’s index and thumb.

           It’s tough, but you manage to grab the reins on a smirk. Dean doesn’t notice, too focused on trying to keep the damage to your tattoo at a minimum. The gesture and the concentration are impossibly sweet, even though you’d long accepted that ink injury was inevitable with your lifestyle.

           When he’s done, callused fingertips tugging the last knot in place, Dean grabs the whiskey again. “Hold still,” he breathes, close enough you can feel it dance across the skin of your neck, and you hope he can’t see the goosebumps trailing down your arms like ivy. “That should do it. You can grab the first shower, but it’s big enough that some gauze on top for a few days wouldn’t hurt.”

           “Thanks,” you answer, startled and annoyed at your own voice when it creaks a touch. The flannel feels gross and heavy with blood, so you pull your arms out entirely and reach to drop it in the wastebasket.

           “I can deal with that if you want,” he offers, ruffling the velvet-short hair at the back of his neck. “The coat too. Not the first time getting blood out of clothes.”

           “Oh, okay. Uh, thanks. That would be really nice.”

           Dean only meets your eyes for the most fleeting moment when he takes it before biting his lip again and nodding to himself. You get to your feet and gingerly slip the displaced straps back over your shoulder, feeling the shift in energy in the room and not knowing what to do with it. Settling for a jocular little punch to Dean’s bicep, you grin at him. “Thanks for putting me back together, doc.”

           Sam comes back a couple minutes after you’ve closed the bathroom door with a translucent plastic bag full of first aid supplies. “In the shower?”

           Dean looks up from where he’s sitting on the couch and hands Sam the beer he’d already gotten out of the fridge in anticipation, his leg bouncing rapidly. “Yeah. They have everything?”

           His younger brother nods and accepts the bottle, taking a sip before laying out his haul on the coffee table and tossing the bag. “You okay?”

           He glances up with a quirked eyebrow. “Just tired, man.”

           Sam waits a silent beat, giving Dean a chance to spill whatever it is.

           “Did you, ah—did you know Y/N’s all inked up like a friggin’ sailor?”

           Sam chuckles and runs his tongue over his teeth. “A sailor? Y/N’s only got a few tattoos, dude.”

           “You knew?”

           “Of course I knew, some people like to learn things about their friends. That’s why you’re acting weird?”

           Dean scowls over the glass lip of his beer before taking a long pull. “Not acting weird, sue me for being surprised we’re working with the goddamn Hunter With The Dragon Tattoo.” His voice is low and surly like a kid on the edge of a tantrum even he knows isn’t worth it.

           “Y/N can do whatever they want, Dean. It doesn’t matter if you like the tattoos, you’re not their dad.” Sam’s barely keeping the giggle out of his voice, enjoying Dean’s frustration the way only a little brother could.

           “No, I don’t—it’s not that I don’t like them,” Dean stammers, the end of the statement fading off as a flush starts rising in his cheeks. He knows he’s said too much and Sam jumps on it.

           “Wait—you do like them, don’t you?” He crashes onto the couch, long limbs just enough in Dean’s space to be irritating. “I bet you loooooove knowing about those tattoos—I bet you’re dying to see them.”

           “Shut the fuck up,” Dean growls, kicking Sam in the thigh with a socked foot. Sam blocks him and starts laughing hard enough it makes him rattle all over like he’s on a rickety rollercoaster. When he finally catches his breath Dean is still pouting to whatever syndicated sitcom he’d thrown on. Over the tinny TV speakers they hear the shower turn off.

           “You know, if you’re feeling shy I could say something for you.” Sam’s grin is ten steps past cheeky, firmly planted in devilish, and he waggles his eyebrows suggestively over top of dimples perfectly sliced into his cheeks.

           Dean’s eyes widen like a cartoon and his voice is a gravelly hiss as he grabs a tight handful of Sam’s t-shirt, now crisp with dried blood. “Sam, I fucking swear to God—” but the threat is ineffectual, sheepish panic clear as anything on his face. The glint in Sam’s eye brightens and he twists out of his brother’s grip before he can react, crossing the room in a few huge steps so he’s nearly face to face with you when you open the bathroom door, Dean leaping off of the couch to chase him and slamming into Sam’s back when he stops short.

           “Whoa, Jesus—you scared the shit out of me,” you breathe, one hand on top of your fresh t-shirt to still your racing heartbeat, fistful of dirty laundry in the other.

           “Just need that second shower, didn’t mean to freak you out!” Sam smiles, warm and light and genuine. “Thanks! Gauze is on the table if you want it.” he says as he slips past you with a friendly and familiar kiss on the cheek, wink that you can’t see to Dean over your shoulder as he closes the bathroom door fast enough that the mirror next to the frame barely even steams.

           “Hey, could you—” you start.

           “Hey, do you—” Dean says at the exact same time. You both chuckle, and you can’t tell if you’re annoyed or not that the little charge in the room didn’t dissolve while the dried blood on you had rinsed down the shower drain. Dean holds up an open palm to indicate that you should go first.

           “Could you cover those stitches for me? The skin is kind of catching on my shirt.”

           “Uh, yeah. Definitely.”

           Shaking your hair loose and hanging the towel it was in on the back of a kitchenette chair, you sit on the edge of the bed to tug the collar of your t-shirt as far onto your shoulder as you can. Dean snatches some medical tape and a couple 4x4s from the table and sits down next to you, the heat coming off of him soothing the chill of the few remaining drops of water cooling on your skin. “I’m gonna need more slack than that,” he says, trying to be matter-of-fact but not quite covering the gooey softness around the edges that are making his voice more sultry than gruff. You try to pull harder on the collar but it’s already digging into your neck. The hand holding the gauze floats down to Dean’s lap while he rubs his jaw with the other. “Do you—could you just take it off?”

           You roll your eyes at him.

           “Or live with it, see if I care.” He holds your gaze, and that stubbornness you recognize.

           Reluctantly, you move your arm inside the shirt and slip it out from under the bottom hem, squirming in a way that covers your chest while exposing your shoulder. When he sweeps the shirt back you reflexively jolt away from him like you’ve been shocked. “Not being fresh, just don’t want to tape it in,” he murmurs.

           “I noticed you put the lines together really straight; thanks for that.”

           “Only took an extra second.” He rips another piece of tape off a roll with his teeth and is being so deliberate that now you’re sure he’s stalling for another few seconds to keep touching you but you don’t care; the feeling of his fingertips on your skin is tender and delicious.

           “If I knew you were going to be that careful, I would’ve been letting you do my stitches this whole time.”

           “Guess I’m just a regular damn seamstress,” he smiles, finally smoothing the last tape and only surreptitiously glancing out of the corner of his eye as you tuck your arm back into its sleeve. “So seriously, what’re the other tattoos?”

           “I’m sure you’ll see them soon enough,” you whisper as you stand up, committing to memory the way it makes Dean’s pupils flare as you ease under the scratchy motel sheets on the opposite bed.

-

Thanks again for reading! If you liked it, check out my Masterlist or send me a request!

Tags: @sams-sass @vxnderlindes @deanwinchesterswitch @akshi8278 @itsjensenanddean @flannellover67 @weepingwillowphoenix @tj-drinks-tea @whatareyousearchingfordean @winchestergirl2 @winchest09 @samwisethegr8 @fawnxng @nurse-sarahrn @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love @thewinchesterandreidwhore @deanwanddamons @stressedoutkitten @winchestershiresauce @tatted-trina6 @percico-heronstairs @downanddirtydean @moosewinchester-deactivated2021 @queenoftheunderdark @lyarr24 @wonder-cole @sergeantsea​ 

And as always, if you want to be on my taglist, were on the taglist and changed your handle, or I lost track of it, please let me know!

#dean #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester oneshot #dean winchester fluff #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x gender neutral reader #dean winchester x gender neutral reader #spn #spn fic #supernatural fic #supernatural fluff #supernatural fanfiction #spn fluff #sam #sam winchester #dean hurt/comfort #dean winchester hurt/comfort #spn reader insert #dean oneshot #dean one shot #supernatural reader insert

[danielxricciardo]

Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments."  "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate  “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you” 

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love” 

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique 

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #imagine #fanfiction #formula 1 #football #my prompts #soccer #erling haaland #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #lando norris #lance stroll #lewis hamilton #premier league #bundesliga #grand prix

[drabbles-mc]

I Like Me Better

Nestor Oceteva x F!Reader

Request from Anon: Hi! If you’re doing requests can I get a short fic based on the song I like me better by Lauv with Nestor🥺

Part 2 can be found Here

Warnings: language, lots of softness and pining

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: (I know I’ve posted this story like 5 times today alone. So sorry to everyone who has been getting bombarded with it while I figure out my posting/tagging issues. Love y’all and I owe you xo) This story definitely took on a life of its own once I sat down and started writing it. I love me some Soft Nestor and the whole “almost relationship” type of deal. Hope you enjoy!

General Mayans Taglist: @mayans-sauce​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @paintballkid711​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @queenbeered​ @sillygoose6969​ @sesamepancakes​ @yourwonkywriter​ @chibsytelford​ @gemini0410​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​  @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach​ @twistnet​ @garbinge​ @themoonandthewicked​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @encounterthepast​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @blessedboo​ @holl2712​

You were laughing as you watched snowflakes get stuck in Nestor’s facial hair and braids as he talked to you on the phone. Ever since you moved, the two of you had one weekly scheduled phone call, and one video chat. No matter what either of you were doing, you always made time for those two things. Even if for the rest of the week you didn’t really get to talk to each other, you always had those two things.

When Nestor said he was going to have to talk to you on the go before he called, you didn’t expect it to be quite so literal. You figured maybe he’d be driving, but wherever he was, he was walking, and it was snowing. He didn’t look thrilled about either of those things.

“I’m not made for the fucking snow,” he was trying to sound annoyed but you could see the laughter building up inside him.

“Good thing you didn’t move with me to New York then,” you laughed as you watched him brush snowflakes off of his eyelashes, “You’d never last out here.”

“Why would you voluntarily put up with this every year?”

“It’s pretty when you’re not being a baby about it,” you laughed, “Where did Miguel send you anyway?”

“Into the cold, that’s where,” he kept a serious expression for a moment before laughing.

“Next time you wanna experience the cold, come do it with me! My door is always open.”

“You’re the only person worth braving this shit for, Y/N,” he chuckled.

“Well,” you smiled at him from the warmth and comfort of your couch, “me and Miguel, apparently.” There was a knock at your door and you sighed, “Hold on a sec, I gotta grab that,” you got up and walked over to the door.

When you unlocked and pulled the door open, the phone dropped from your hands as you took in the sight of Nestor standing on your front step. You squealed, throwing your arms around him in a hug that swept you off the ground. He laughed as he held you tight against him.

He gently set you back down, making sure that your feet didn’t land in the snow on your steps, or on top of your discarded phone, “I told you, you’re the only one worth braving this shit for.”

“I can’t believe you’re really here!” without thinking better of it, you reached and cupped his face in your hands, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that he was actually standing right there in front of you. He let out a slight shiver and it snapped you back to the situation at hand. You laughed as you waved him inside, “Shit, come inside. Get out of the cold.”

You grabbed your phone off the ground before you shut and locked the door behind the both of you, mind reeling from the fact that Nestor was at your house. You’d been back home to visit a couple times since you moved away, but he’d never made the trek to New York. You couldn’t blame him—you knew what his life with Galindo was like. You were surprised that he was able to be that far away from the family without it causing some kind of issue.

“What brings you out my way?” you took his coat from him and hung it up, chuckling as the snow fell off of it onto the floor.

“You,” he replied, looking up at you with a smile as he took his shoes off, “I wanted to see you, and not just through a phone screen.”

His words made your entire body feel warm. You motioned for him to follow you into the kitchen, nodding towards the counter for him to sit while you got the both of you a cup of coffee. He needed it more to warm up than anything else. He looked around your house with an approving smile. You’d given him the video tour after you had moved all of your stuff in, but it looked so much better in person. It felt so homey. Your walls were covered with photographs and artwork that you’d brought from home. Nestor smiled to himself when he saw that he’d made it up on the wall in a few pictures, along with the rest of your family and friends back in California.

You set the hug down in front of him, and he chuckled when he saw I ❤ NY printed on the side of it. He cupped his hands around it, letting the warmth seep into his fingers from the ceramic, “Fitting.”

You sipped from your own mug with a smile, “Gotta manifest it, Nes.”

The two of you existed in silence for a minute while he thawed out. You watched him as he looked around your small home. It wasn’t much, especially compared to the homes of all the people in his circles back in California, but it was yours and you loved it. You had never been someone who needed much. You just needed to feel comfortable and safe, and this house did more than just that for you.

You noticed him staring at the photos on the walls and the fridge, and you smiled. A little bit of weight settled over your heart as you watched him study them, knowing that he was looking at the ones of the two of you. It was all bittersweet to look back on. The two of you hadn’t ever dated, but you danced around the outskirts of it for a long time. There were times when the lines felt a little fuzzy, but nothing ever really happened. You were best friends, and you knew that he’d do anything for you, and you for him. But the timing was just never quite right, life was just never quite calm enough to try and make it work.

When you had told him that you had accepted a job offer on the other side of the country, he was trying so hard to be happy for you, but it wasn’t easy. You were a port in the storm for him, and he had no idea what he was going to do without you around. But he was supportive. He helped you pack, scrolled through apartment and housing listings with you, and found the best deal on a plane ticket. He never let you see how much it had hurt him—those were feelings that he processed in private. He’d thought about coming out to visit you every day since you left, but he worried that if he did, he wouldn’t come back home.

Before either of you could spiral too far into the past, you spoke up with a smile, “So, how long are you in town for?” he didn’t have any bags, so you assumed that he couldn’t be in town for long.

“I’m not sure,” he rested a hand on the back of his neck, “Told Mikey I needed to take some time. And this was the first place I thought to come to.”

You couldn’t hide your surprise—work had always been a priority for Nestor. Miguel was at the forefront of his decisions, always. “Really?” you raised your eyebrows, “You…you can take a leave of absence with…what you do?” you couldn’t quite wrap your head around it.

He shrugged, “Apparently,” he chuckled, “He said alright. So, here I am.”

You could feel that it wasn’t what he wanted to talk about, so you let the topic drop, “Well, you know you’re more than welcome to stay for however long you want to. Although your lack of luggage is a little concerning.”

He laughed, “Got lost in the shuffle. Airline said they’ll mail it here.”

You shook your head, unable to contain your laughter, “Damn, that sucks. Welcome to New York.”

You were on the opposite side of the counter from him, leaning forward onto it, propped up by your elbows. The two of you started to catch up about things that slipped from your minds when you called each other. He told you about some of the chaos that he wasn’t allowed to say over an unsecure phoneline. You listened intently, fighting the urge to reach out and entwine your fingers with his. Everything felt so right with him there with you.

“Sorry,” he chuckled as he took another sip of his coffee, “I don’t mean to do all the talking. I’ve just…I’ve missed having you to talk to.”

You nodded, “I know the feeling,” you drummed your fingers on the surface of the counter, “Well, now that you’re here, normally I’d say we should go do touristy things. But something tells me you’ve had your required dose of snow for the day?”

He laughed, “What’ve you got in mind?”

You shook your head, “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow. I’m sure you’ve had a long enough day. We can camp out at least until your luggage gets here. Or I can take you shopping, whichever you prefer.”

He smiled at you, “I think I’m alright with staying in.”

“That’s what I figured,” you chuckled, “Well, I was not expecting company. I’m assuming you’ll be alright with ordering in?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I know this really great Chinese place. Their wonton soup is…perfection.”

The two of you made your way to your living room and sprawled onto the couch. You leaned up against Nestor’s side as you got your phone out to place the order. You picked a few things that you wanted to eat before handing it to him so he could pick stuff as well. While he was looking through the menu, you turned on the television and pulled the blanket off the back of your couch so it covered the both of you.

Nestor handed your phone back to you so you could place the order. He’d hardly noticed how you tucked the both of you in. He smiled as he rested his arm against your side, hand brushing lightly against your stomach.

“Is this…”

“I decided last week that I was going to rewatch all of Law & Order SVU from the very beginning,” you laughed.

He shook his head with a laugh, “Do you have a moral objection to happy shows or…?”

“It’s a good show!” you snuggled into him a little more.

“What has New York done to you?”

You smiled and shook your head, “Given me time to do shit like this.”

“You like it here though?” his eyes were watching the television, but one hand was gently massaging circles into the side of your neck.

“Yea, I do. It’s a nice change of pace—I think it was the right move for me,” you glanced up at him and smiled, unbelievably happy about the fact that he was really laying on your couch in New York with you. Never in a million years did you think that would happen.

Once the food got there the two of you switched up your positions a little bit. The TV was still on but neither of you were paying attention to it. You were each sitting cross-legged facing each other on the couch. You were laughing as you watched him fumble with his chopsticks. You had forks, obviously, but it was a matter of pride whenever you two ate together because he knew that you were extremely good at using them and he didn’t want to be left out.

“Almost two years since we got Chinese together and you didn’t use any of that time to teach yourself how to use chopsticks?”

He chuckled as he struggled with his noodles, “Didn’t make it to the top of my priority list, I apologize.”

“I’ll teach you before you leave. Way better than taking back a cheesy souvenir,” you smiled at him as you picked up a piece of chicken.

As the night wore on, your coffee table became covered in takeout food boxes, and a couple empty bottles of wine that the two of you had managed to drink your way through. You were sprawled across his lap, wine glass lightly hanging from your fingertips as you rambled on about what you had been up to since you moved. Nestor couldn’t take his eyes off of you, soaking up the fact that he was able to be so close to you.

“I’ve missed you,” you veered off your current story completely as you felt the warmth from his hand soak into your leg.

He looked at you, laughing quietly at the sudden admission, “I’ve missed you too.”

“Were you ever mad at me for leaving?”

He shook his head, no hesitation in his answer at all, “Of course not,” he studied your face, the way your skin glowed whenever you drank, the way your eyes got a little glassy when you had more than just one glass of wine, “Doesn’t mean that I don’t miss you, though.”

You hummed in quiet contentment as he reassuringly rubbed his hand up and down your leg, “I think about you all the time.”

His hand stilled for a moment and you were afraid that maybe you were saying too much. Maybe the reason that things worked so well was because everything was in limbo. Before you could worry too much he gave your leg a light squeeze, “I think about you too.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, resituating yourself so that your head was resting against his chest. It was hard to focus on much of anything when all you could think about was the way your body was pressed up against his. The steadiness of his breathing felt like the only thing that was still grounding you. Your entire body felt warm from the wine, but deep down you knew it was more than just that.

“If you’re tired,” he spoke up after a few minutes of silence, “you can go to bed. Don’t exhaust yourself on my account,” there was a smile on his face.

You stretched, fighting back a yawn, “Come with me,” you sat upright and looked over at him, “I won’t lie to you, my guest room is empty because I have been putting off buying furniture for it,” you chuckled, “And my bed is way more comfortable than the couch, believe me.”

“Yea,” he nodded, his voice soft as he bit back a laugh, “okay.”

He followed you up the stairs and into your room, looking around the house as he did. It was hard for him to wrap his head around what your life was like now that you were so far away from everything that you had grown up with, everyone you had grown up with. It seemed like you had created such a cozy little life for yourself, and it couldn’t help but to think that you might never have had that if you hadn’t taken the plunge to move across the country.

“Don’t mind the clothes,” you apologized as you flicked on the light to your bedroom, “I promise they’re clean—I just hate folding laundry.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “It’s fine.”

You changed into a baggy long-sleeve shirt and a pair of shorts, immediately crawling underneath your blankets. You nestled back against your pillow and looked over at Nestor, who was unbuttoning his shirt, eyes cast down at the floor.

You were lying on your side, scrolling on your phone when you felt the mattress dip as Nestor climbed into bed beside you. He pulled the blanket up over himself and rolled onto his side so he could look over at you. You looked up from your phone, a smile starting to take over your features as you took in how close he was to you. You set your phone off to the side and rested your cheek against the palm of your hand.

“I still can’t believe you’re here,” you said with a laugh.

“Give it a couple days,” he joked, “Soon you’ll be begging for me to go back home.”

You snuggled closer to him, resting your face against his chest, “I doubt it.”

You woke up the next morning to the feeling of Nestor’s arms wrapped tightly around you, keeping you snug against his chest. Taking a slow, deep bre ath you took in the fact that this was really happening. He shifted slightly, arms squeezing you for a moment before he settled back into his sleep. The selfish part of you never wanted him to go home because you would love to wake up like this every morning. The warmth trapped underneath the blanket made you forget about the fact that there was a considerable amount of snow covering the ground outside.

You let your eyes close again as you focused on the steady beat of his heart. You slowly slid your legs and tangled them up with his. A few moments later you felt his fingers sliding lightly up and down your back. You glanced up at him and smiled when you saw that his eyes were still closed, but there was a peaceful smile on his face. You don’t ever remember seeing him so calm, so relaxed.

“Good morning,” he mumbled as he pressed his hand flat against your back, pushing you against him.

You chuckled as you rested your hands against his chest, “Good morning. You sleep okay?”

“Mhm,” he finally opened his eyes, “like a fucking rock,” he laughed.

You smiled up at him, “Good.”

The two of you laid there, soaking up the quiet peacefulness of the morning. You hadn’t woken up wrapped up in someone’s arms in a very long time, and there was something about the clinginess of Nestor’s grasp that told you he was in the same boat. You smiled to yourself as you felt his fingers lazily massaging between your shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come visit sooner,” he said.

You pulled back away from him so you could get a better look at his face, “You don’t have to be sorry—I know your life doesn’t make it easy. It’s hard to find the time.”

“I should’ve made the time.”

“Nes, don’t—”

He cut you off as he shook his head, “I’m not trying to make excuses. I know that I should’ve come out to see you. I just, I knew that it was going to be hard to convince myself to go back home once I did. I like me so much better when I’m with you,” he gently cupped your face in his hand.

You rested your hand over his, “Well, I like you all the time,” you smiled, “And no matter what, I’ll always be here whenever you need a break to recharge and get away from everything for a little while. But listen,” you waited for him to look at you, “don’t spend all of your time here thinking about the fact that you think you should’ve made it out here sooner. None of that matters. You’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

He rested his forehead against yours, “See? That’s what I mean—how am I supposed to go back home after that?” you could see the hint of a smile on his face.

You laughed, “Just remember how much you hate the snow. Short vacations out this way will be just right for you.”

He chuckled and shook his head, “Yea, maybe.”

You gave his hand a light squeeze, “C’mon, let’s go make breakfast and see if your luggage will come in today or if I get to take you shopping.”

He laughed, rolling his eyes, “Can’t wait for that.”

You flung the blanket off the both of you and hopped out of bed. Walking around to Nestor’s side, you held out your hands and pulled him up, laughing as he exaggeratedly stumbled into you and wrapped you in a hug. Your laughter was muffled against his chest but he reveled in the way it all felt.

While you were measuring out grounds into the coffee maker, you saw Nestor out of the corner of your eye looking through your fridge, trying to see what he could salvage to make breakfast with. You smiled to yourself as you set the pot to brew. You leaned back against the counter and watched him pulling things out from the drawers of your refrigerator.

“Playing chef today?” you asked with a smile.

“Better me than you,” he laughed.

You feigned offence, “Excuse you, I am an amazing cook.”

He smiled as he set everything out on the counter, “You are, but I’m better.”

“But I’m better,” you mocked with a laugh, “Cocky.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“How long did you say you were staying again?” you laughed.

“At least until I learn how to use chopsticks,” he chuckled as he looked through your cabinets for a frying pan, “So it might be a while.”

You couldn’t make yourself take your eyes off him, “Good.”

He heard the softness in your tone and looked over at you from his food prep on the counter. He smiled, tilting his head slightly as if to ask if there was something that you wanted to say. You shook your head with a small smile before walking over and wrapping your arms around his middle, the side of your face resting against his back. You didn’t know how long he was going to be staying, but you knew that regardless you were going to be making the most of it.

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva x you #nestor oceteva imagine #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

[jasmine-the-fox]

Pusher... Is pushed and punished

OK so this salt fic is very dark... There will be severe bullying and threats and demands of suicide, there will be blood too but please understand that this fic will be explained at the end... Also I got the idea from watching some meme’s to the song pusher.

Lila Rossi never thought she would go down like this... All because of her attempt to kill Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

It was all going well, she had made the class hate her... Except for Chloe and Sabrina, they followed her to the back and glared at them when they spoke bad about Marinette but she didn’t care! The girl was getting what she promised, then she took Adrien from her, once Alya gave up on helping Mari dating Adrien as she didn’t want to “Stop bullying Lila for being jealous of her connections” Alya turned to help Lila date him... And his father was forcing him to date Lila.

She didn’t get a reaction, Marinette just shrugged and walked away... That pissed her off, so to get back at her, each time Mari was alone, Lila would attack, a punch here, a kick there, a bucket of water poured on her here, trash dumped on her there she even tore her clothes once! And each time she got away with it because the class claimed she was being clumsy! Even better Adrien looked upset with Mari for causing a scene!!!

Now that was fun... But she wanted the girl gone, Marinette was still smiling, each time she harmed Mari, Chloe would tell the principal she called the police to investigate because “Mari couldn’t have been clumsy like that! These bruises were done to her!!” she then ordered her father to get cameras set up because it didn’t make sense for the girl to be soaked with water or covered in trash... Once Lila had grabbed trash from her place since the day she would do it had been trash day and Chloe figured it out.

So Lila couldn’t do much more now, but the class did and they were getting punished... Even accused of being the ones who attacked Mari when it was Lila, they denied it but there actions matched the ones Lila did... So they were suspended or given detention, Lila felt a little bad for them but it kept her safe though... But Marinette was still here and Lila Rossi didn’t like that one bit as she sighed while in her room.

She would need to get her hands dirty once again.

It wasn’t the first time she caused a death, in Italy she moved to 5 different schools before moving to Paris because she had caused three classmates to end there lives... While she had to kill two and were believed as suicides, and she didn’t mind that because it was easy, just claimed she being bullied by the student, her classmates claimed the same and then claim you think they ended there lives to say sorry... Simple right?

Well... Not with Marinette Dupain-Cheng it wasn’t... For she was very clumsy.

Mari was heading to visit Kagami for a sleepover, Lila knew this because Alya overheard them and told Lila how she was certain Mari was just trying to get money or something... Lila didn’t listen, so after school, Lila ran home and called her mother to tell her she was going to be a little late when heading home as she had to go do something, leaving her bag behind but taking her purse, Lila rushed over to the bakery and waited for Marinette to leave and walk over to the Tsurugi house.

Once she saw her leave, Lila waited a bit before following... It went easy on that part now she had to wait for a car to get a green light for her to push Mari in the street, they were just getting to the corner of the Tsurugi home when the light turned green, cars began to move and as Lila saw Mari get to the corner... She ran, Lila ran as fast as she could without making a sound and just as Mari turned around... Lila pushed her into the street.

She wished that was true for once.

As Mari was falling, her nails pierced into Lila’s close as Mari tried to gain balance to keep standing... And as she pushed up to stand to get the police on what Lila tried to do... Lila fell into the street just as a car was moving in... And everything went black on the Italian.

When Lila woke up, she found herself in a hospital... Handcuffed to the bed, a nurse had just walked in, her mother standing before her with a furious look... And a police officer in the room, turns out there were cameras who filmed her stalking and following Mari to the Tsurugi house, then at one point Mari had texted her parents and Kagami about someone following her so they called the police, they got there just as Mari was trying to save Lila’s life, she was covered in blood that Lila was losing and had even used her jacket to try and stop the bleeding, while Kagami was calling for an ambulance and her mother was keeping the drunk driver there with them.

But when they brought her to the hospital... Things were discovered on Lila, she was found out... It turns out that the three students she pushed to end there lives left a dying message to there parents about Lila and her actions but sadly by the time they got the police involved... Lila had changed schools, as for the other two, they had left either a journal entry or a video claiming how they felt like Lila was planning to do something to them... Something to make them disappear actually, and since they had just witnessed Lila about to cause Marinette to die... They had the proof Lila was dangerous.

Two weeks after being in the hospital, Lila was for three months in court stuck before a judge to decide her fate on the three suicide cases, the two murder cases and the now first attempted murder case, Lila’s family lawyer told her that the other lawyers were refusing a plea deal... Because all the people she had lied about also put her to court and the judge agreed on no plea deal, so whatever was decided... She wasn’t getting out of it no matter what.

She ended up being put into juvenile detention until she was an adult where she would then be transferred to jail in Italy... And there was no way she was going to be able to get out, of course to her luck her lawyer got the judge to agree she does her last year of school at least... But that didn’t mean she was all over the news with what she did all this time.

When she arrived on Monday... The whole class turned on her, called her a monster, a demon, Adrien broke up with her, Gabriel terminated her contract, the Agreste family put a restraining order on her, the class was being fined for what they did to Mari, Alya was being fined for all the lies she posted about Lila on her blog... On and on the class went at her, while Mari walked in with Chloe and Sabrina who trying to give her some comfort on what she went through... And then Mari spoke “You know Lila... I really would have wanted to be your friend if you hadn’t threatened me in the bathroom, or started to attack me and getting it accused on the class” she said as Lila’s eyes widen as she looked back to the class.

While Chloe grinned like a maniac, Sabrina comforted Mari and Marinette sobbed quietly... The class got violent on Lila for what they just found out about Lila, all this time she caused all of this to them... And they wanted justice, the principal had been brought in by Caline as the class revealed that Lila was the one who attacked Mari from the start at school and not them, they demanded justice now.

By lunch, Lila was expelled and failed her last year of high school.

She was placed into juvenile detention the next day, they did allow her to retake her school years yes I said years... Turns out Lila got her classmates to do her homework for her and other things, when she couldn’t she lied to Caline and never turned anything in... So she had to retake three years of high school, at least she was busy with that, during that time the class struggled in trying to figure out there lives, Lila had lied to them about all kinds of opportunities she had opened up for them... But they were all lies in the end, not only that but they all tried to fix things with Marinette.

They believed that sweet Marinette would forgive them and be there friends again... Even helped them with there dreams, but she refused everything, she was done being a doormat, done bending herself in different angles to help them all, done with giving them free things which she billed them for and sent copies to all there parents where warned that there kids had only a month to pay her back before she adds increasement charges of 10% for each week they don’t pay her back, they tried to escape this... Even tried getting Adrien to help but Chloe helped her too not break and had Sabrina take care of refusing them there request.

They were doomed with how much they owed her in the end.

For three years, they have pushed her to make them baked goods and didn’t pay her for them... She paid for the ingredients from her pockets, then there was the free clothes they got... Also paid for fabric and yarn from her pockets, but not once did they think it was expensive, turns out that Ivan has an allergy to sheep wool so Mari had to order and get shipped alpaca or llama wool to knit him certain things that he asks her, or the Mylène asks to make so she can gift to Ivan, what’s worse is that Alya discovered the alpaca wool and demanded Mari knit her things with it, and if it wasn’t the alpaca wool she would get pissed, go to Mari’s room and destroy it in front of her before yelling at her to make it again “with the correct wool this time”

Mari always cried after Alya was gone.

Her parents even banned the class from the bakery, with how much they owed there daughter they told there parents that there kids were banned until they paid back Mari and learn that they need to ask in advance and pay her in advance in full when they want something from her... Then they would be unbanned, Nino was the first to fully pay her back, it cost him his pay from his recent gig but at least he could now have the eclairs they make again... Just needs to pay for them, then it was Rose and Juleka, the two had pawned a few of there things to pay her and got the whole amount on the last day of the month.

Sadly Alix and Kim only paid her a small part so they had to get jobs each, it took Alix a month before she could pay her back in full... Kim took two and a half, Max paid her in half of the month he had to pay her, same for Mylène while Ivan had to sell his drum set and get a job to pay her back due to the whole she had to order for him all this time, Adrien didn’t need to pay her since he still didn’t know the scarf he wears she made for his birthday and Alya... She was still paying her back after a year, a month, two weeks and four days later.

Nathaniel also never ask for anything of the sorts, he was the only one who never thought Mari would bully Lila, but he believed Lila... He also always paid for the things he asked for her to make and he asked her months in advance so she had a bunch of time, but she sadly couldn’t forgive him yet since he did believe Lila over her, but he was working hard to be forgiven and he wasn’t going to give up.

Gabriel found out about everything from the news, once he saw what Lila did in Italy he worked hard to cut all ties to her and then demanded that Adrien tries to date Mari with the claims of “She will make the brand rise higher then miss Rossi ever could, she will even be able to restore the shame miss Rossi brought upon us with what she has done” so Adrien tried to contact her... But his number was blocked, also she had a new phone and number so he couldn’t speak with her, he then tried going up to her but Marinette’s friends always got to her first and pulled her away before he could get close.

Then came Valentine’s day, he decided to leave her gifts and cards around for her, at the bakery, as she was leaving for school, in her locker, on her desk, secretly placed in her bag... Anywhere right as she wasn’t looking, then as school was ending he left her one last note in her locker, asking her to wait for him at the school doors, and she did wait, he walked up to her with a bouquet of roses and asked her on a date.

But she rejected him... Claimed she didn’t have feelings for him... And was dating someone else.

That someone else being Luka Couffaine, Juleka’s big brother, had walked over at that moment to ask Mari if she was ready to head to The Liberty where his mother had prepared for them and Mari’s parents a dinner for them to meet, she agreed and then left Adrien there... Alone without the girl he had tried to have date him... Him, Adrien Agreste the most beloved model in Paris, the one girls went to there knees trying to ask to date them... And he was rejected by the first girl he ever asked out on a date... And was beaten by a quiet guitar player.

When he returned home, his father was disappointed in Adrien, said he would fix his mistake and have Marinette Dupain-Cheng to not only agree to work for him but agree to leave Luka to date Adrien in the end... He knew his father was right, Gabriel Agreste always got what he wanted when he decided on it, so why would this be any different?

But it wasn’t.

Marinette refused the deal, said that what Adrien did to her when Lila had harmed her at school traumatized her and she didn’t feel safe with him, she feared that if she did something, he would act like she was “causing a scene” again when she wasn’t doing anything wrong in the end so she ordered them to leave her alone and to never speak to her again.

After that things staid like that, Lila was taken to prison in Italy, Nathaniel at last was Mari’s friend again, Chloe, Sabrina, Kagami, Marc, Aurore and Mireille found success in life, Mari and Luka got married and then had a daughter named Melody, the class still suffer to this day for believing Lila and Adrien ended up dating a model his father picked for him to be with, he got her pregnant with a boy and was being planned to marry her without him being able to put in his opinion.

This was there life now... All because they believed Lila Rossi.

What did you think about this fic? Sure in the meme’s the victim is pushed by the bully to fall and almost die and then something happens making them jump for real to there death... But please try to understand the message i’m putting in here.

People are being bullied... And they did nothing wrong to deserve it. They just went to school, tried to get good grades, made friends and maybe even got in a relationship.

But then someone ends up bullying them, and sometimes no one helps the victim.

Take this story for example, imagine your either Lila or Marinette alright?

If you pick to be Lila, how would you feel if you were being bullied all of a sudden? How would you feel when your attacked but the bully claims you did it to yourself or harmed them? How would you feel when you leave behind a message to your parents and you end your life? How would you feel just going home or something and the bully causes you to die and they get away with it by claiming you bullied them and you ended your own life?

How would you feel?

Now if you picked Marinette, how does that make you feel? What Lila did to you? Making you classmates pull away from you? The guy you had a crush on look at you like what your doing is wrong? Your classmates attacking you because Lila claimed you hurt her? Lila lying that your clumsy after she attacks you? Lila getting away with what she did by getting your classmates punished for it? Lila trying to kill you only for her to end up almost dead?

What about Lila being punished for everything she did to you and people from her past schools? The class being punished for what they did to you? The class finding out what Lila did all this time in the past and to you? You not accepting your classmates in the end? And then you living the happy life while your classmates are still suffering to this day because of Lila?

Do you see where i’m going with this? If you don’t then that’s fine cause at least you tried to understand and at least read this right? So thank you for that at least and for reposting this fic to your page so others can read it and understand that bullying is wrong and needs to be stopped.

#miraculous ladybug #lila salt #lila gets exposed #Attempted murder #suicide #bullying #attacks #lies #School transfer #proof #Dying message #Marinette gets lucky

[ayybtch]

The One

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Things are going up and down for you as you try to navigate life after your breakup with Bucky. Everything leads to an accidental run-in with him at a coffee shop that leaves you and Bucky wondering if things could have been different. Based on the song The 1 by Taylor Swift.

Warnings: This is an angsty fic. The reader is actively struggling with mental illness and a breakup. There are mentions of being on antidepressants and symptoms such as anxiety, insomnia, and sometimes not having the energy for personal care, but nothing in-depth.

Word Count: 11,261

A/N: I owe a very special thank you to @borkingbarnes​, who has supportively been screaming at me for writing this ever since I told her this idea and gave me some brilliant suggestions during her beta read. The dividers were made by the lovely @whimsicalrogers​.

“So, how have the new meds been treating you? Are they still making you nauseous after you first take them?”

You looked across the room at your therapist and shook your head, “No, they’re not making me nauseous anymore. I’ve been making sure that I’ve got food in my stomach first and not just a cup of coffee. I’ve also been better about taking them at the same time each day,” you said.

She smiled at you. “Do you feel like they’ve been helping?”

You shrugged and offered a half-smile back. Not satisfied with your answer, she continued probing. “Well, do you feel like you have more energy than on the other meds? Are you sleeping more….?” She trailed off at the end, voice hopeful.

“Oh. Yeah, I have been sleeping a little better. I’ve been sleeping closer to 5 hours each night, though it’s still taking a really long time for me to fall asleep. I’ve had more energy but I don’t know if that’s because of the meds or the sleep?” You trailed off a bit at the end, unsure of if that truly answered her question.

“It could be a mix of both. I’m glad to hear you’re sleeping more though, you weren’t getting very much when you first started seeing me.” She offered you another smile before adjusting herself in her seat and continuing, “Now, what have you been doing with this extra energy? Any new hobbies, catching up with friends, going on dates, anything like that?”

You shook your head no. “I don’t have much of a friend group anymore, not since…” your voice faded before the sentence finished. You closed your eyes and shook your head slightly. Pull yourself together. “I am meeting Natasha after this, actually. She and I were friends before everything and she’s the only one that’s really stuck around since. It’s been about a month since I last saw her so I’m looking forward to seeing her.” The therapist nodded and offered a sympathetic smile that made your stomach turn. You decided to continue before she chimed in.

“I’m running again too. I used to go on a nightly run before things got bad. It’s not for as long or as far as I used to but it’s better than sitting on the couch, I guess.”

She nodded and began writing on her notepad, “That’s wonderful. What do you enjoy about your runs?”

Her question was unexpected and it took you a minute to answer. “It’s peaceful. It’s one of the few times I can shut my brain off and zone out. Though, if it’s a bad day it doesn't always work.”

She nodded and paused, as if trying to carefully choose her next words. “One thing I’ve noticed whenever stuff comes up is that you always talk about ‘before’, but what about the ‘after’? Have you thought about trying to get back out there and start your ‘after’?” An uncomfortable knot formed in your stomach as she spoke.

“I don’t think I’m ready for that yet,” you whispered.

She pursed her lips but didn’t say anything. Eventually, she nodded and continued to make notes.

                                         ***

The session continued for another half hour before it ended with a smile and a brief conversation with her secretary, confirming your appointment for the same time next week.

As you stepped out the door, you let out a sigh of relief. Therapy sessions were hard. Even though today’s session had been relatively mild, the process was still draining and left you feeling exhausted most days. It really helped though and making the decision to go was one of the best decisions you could have made for yourself. A smile settled on your face as you pulled your jacket tighter across your chest before beginning your walk to meet Natasha.

You had discovered soon after starting therapy that walking to and from the appointment gave you the time you needed to prepare yourself for the session and unwind after. The hustle and bustle of New York created the perfect background noise for you to organize your thoughts. Most days it helped you process the questions the therapist asked. Often, you answered them a little deeper than what you had in the session knowing that nobody would know the real answer except for you.

Guilt gnawed at you as you thought about it. Wasn’t the whole point of therapy to be honest? Were you still getting as much out of it as you could if you were completely honest? You shook your head and sighed. Sometimes there were things better left unsaid.

One of the many things that had been left unsaid had to do with what you missed most about being with him. You had shrugged it off when she asked, saying it was nice having a person around because it was less lonely. While true, the full answer was more painful than you felt comfortable admitting out loud. He had understood you in ways nobody else ever had and nobody else ever would again. It gave you the freedom to be unapologetically you every second of the day. The thought of not being known like that again and having to put on a facade felt like the loneliest existence the universe had to offer. It made your chest ache.

Today though, it gave you the chance to collect your thoughts before Natasha had the opportunity to interrogate you. To be fair, it wasn’t really an interrogation. She was far too gentle when she asked you questions, though you’re sure that’s one of the many techniques she chose from. Interrogation or not though, she would be watching you like a hawk the entire meal to make sure you were actually doing as well as you were claiming.

It wasn’t long before you were standing outside Natasha’s favorite Italian restaurant. She always recommended meeting up here purely because of the breadsticks. She swore they were the best in New York and ate at least three full baskets by herself each visit. You paused before entering, suddenly nervous about how it would go. There’s nothing to worry about, Natasha isn’t going to bring him up and isn’t going to push me past my boundaries. You weren’t quite as convinced as you would have liked to be, but you couldn’t delay it any longer as you stepped inside.

A blast of warm air surrounded you as you were greeted by the hostess. It didn’t take for her to lead you back to where Natasha was sitting, a glass of wine already in her hand. A second sat waiting on the table for you.

You walked over, bending down to give her a side hug and a peck on the cheek.

“You’re late,” she said reproachfully, eyes zeroed in on yours.

“I know, I’m sorry. My session went a little over today.” You pulled out your chair and sat down before continuing, “How are you? It’s good to see you.”

Natasha smiled brightly. “I’ve been good. I’ve been really looking forward to this, I was so happy when you said yes. It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen you.” You grinned slightly and she continued. “I’m sorry that it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to catch up. Work has been keeping me even busier than usual. Stark has been working on all sorts of new tech developments and has somehow recruited me for testing.”

You nodded as you took a sip of your wine, “Nothing he’s made has killed you yet. That’s impressive.”

She snorted, “He’s lucky I didn’t flat out say no. His last update to the Falcon wings sent Wilson through the ceiling and landed him in the medbay for three days with a concussion.” Natasha noticed the look of concern on your face and waved her hand as she sipped on her wine. “He’s fine, don’t worry. All of the Avengers men have skulls harder than concrete.” The two of you burst into laughter at the thought.

A waiter arrived as your laughter died down to take your orders and to refill Natasha’s wine glass. You both thanked him as he turned to walk away. A quiet settled over the table and Natasha’s gaze landed firmly on you.

“So how have you been?” she asked softly, voice far gentler than anyone would expect from a former assassin. You shrugged and avoided eye contact.

“Some days are better than others,” you said, “Overall things are better than they’ve been for a while now though. My shrink has me on some new meds that seem to be helping and I’ve been working harder on doing little things to take care of myself every day, not just the good days.”

Natasha nodded, eyes still fixed on you. Slowly, she reached a hand out across the table and placed it on top of yours. “You know I’m always here for you, right? You can call me any time of day and as long as I’m not on a mission, I can be at your apartment within the hour.”

You felt a lump form in your throat at her words. You nodded quickly, eyes blinking fast to try and keep the tears that were welling up from falling. She gave your hand a quick squeeze before pulling back.

“Now where the hell are our breadsticks? This is going to be a failed meal if I have less than twelve in me before the main dish arrives.” Her words made you burst out laughing once again and succeeded in putting a smile on your face for the remainder of the meal.

                                        ***

“Are you sure I can’t drive you back to your apartment?” Natasha asked, wrapping her scarf around her neck as the two of you stepped out of the restaurant. You nodded at her and smiled.

“I enjoy walking, it clears my mind,” you said. She let out a disapproving hum but didn’t argue further. She pulled you into a bone-crushing hug before turning and walking towards where her car was parked. You watched as she stepped in and waved as she pulled out of the parking lot. You stood and watched until her car was out of sight before turning to start the walk home.

As it was on the walk to the restaurant, the busy streets provided the perfect background noise needed for you to quiet your mind. You focused on your breathing, allowing yourself to try and channel any residual nervous energy outward. With each breath, the faces passing by began to blur. Neon signs hanging in the windows of the shops you passed by became nothing more than a gentle glow in your peripheral. With each step you took, the background seamlessly blended together more and your focus on yourself heightened. A sense of calm settled itself in your chest. The feeling grew stronger with each block you passed until a small smile made its way onto your face. That feeling ended abruptly as you turned around the next block.  

There was a large crowd waiting at the bus stop, but your eyes focused on one man. You stared at his silhouette, panic building with each second. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you and your feet had magically turned into cinder blocks. Is that...? No, it couldn’t be…

Almost as if he heard your thoughts, the man turned slightly so you could see his face, and a sigh of relief left you. You stood there a moment longer to examine his side profile. It wasn’t him; he just happened to look like him. He was about the same height and weight, with similar chocolate waves. Your eyes landed on his light brown leather jacket and a lump formed in your throat. He had worn a similar jacket the day you met. It felt like being thrown back in time as you continued to stare at the man in front of you.

Natasha drug you through a hallway, not caring about your protests to slow down. “I have someone I want you to meet.” She smirked as she spoke, leaving you to wonder what she was plotting.

A group of choices greeted the two of you as you entered the room. You waved at Steve and Sharon sitting on the couch as Natasha continued to pull you across the room to where two men were standing. One of the men was Sam, whom you had met the last time Natasha brought you to the compound. The other was Bucky Barnes. You hadn’t met him before but you knew who he was. It was impossible not to given how public everything about Hydra had become.

“Barnes, I have someone I’d like you to meet,” Natasha said, turning slightly towards you.

Bucky turned to look at you, offering a charming smile as he held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m Bucky.”

You shook his hand and introduced yourself, hoping to god you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. The pictures of him floating around on the news did not do him justice. Bucky was absolutely breathtaking. His smile lit up his eyes in a way no camera could ever hope to capture. His hair was cropped just above his shoulders, falling into a beautiful wavy pattern. You realized you were staring and felt your face get hot.

“Uh, I like your jacket,” you mumbled, hoping he hadn’t realized you were staring. The leather jacket was a beautiful light brown. It looked old, but well loved at the same time.

He smiled widely at you, “Thanks! Leather jackets are kind of my thing. Sam here thinks I have too many but there’s no such thing as too many leather jackets, wouldn’t you agree?”

As the memory floated away, you couldn’t help but think how Bucky probably would’ve gone up to the man to ask about his jacket. You chuckled at the thought. As soon as he walked away, he would’ve immediately started looking up where he could find one for his own closet. It didn’t matter how many leather jackets he had. He always wanted more.

The chuckle died on your lips and was replaced by an uncomfortable knot settling in your stomach. A heavy weight fell on your chest and you forced yourself to find the energy to trudge forward.

The remainder of the walk was a blur, but not in the same way it had been before. This wasn’t the good kind of blur that helped you to focus. It was the kind that left you feeling suffocated and as if everything would come crashing down all at once. That had been the first happy thought about Bucky since the two of you broke up. His presence in your thoughts was so strong, he might as well have been walking right next to you. You could practically feel his knuckles brushing against yours with each step you took. If you closed your eyes, you swore you could smell his cologne.

The harsh reality of how alone you were hit you as the greeting from your apartment’s doorman pulled you from your thoughts. You shot him a small smile before rushing inside and all but sprinting up the stairs. Your hands shook as you unlocked the door to your apartment, though you couldn't tell if it was from your thoughts of Bucky or from the sudden burst of energy that left you slightly winded.

Once inside, you rushed to your bedroom and changed into the first sports bra and pair of leggings you saw. You needed to get Bucky off your mind and the only way you knew how was to run. It was going to be a long run tonight.

The doorman waved at you again as you exited the building, surprised to see you again so soon. “Someone is feeling motivated today I see,” he joked. You shrugged and slowly began to jog.

                                        ***

It took a while to get into your groove, but once you were there you felt good. The movement helped settle the anxious energy that had been building since you had seen the man at the bus stop, while the steady breathing brought your focus back to the here and now just like it had before. That’s something else to mention if she asks about my runs again, you thought.  These runs bring my focus to this exact moment in time.

That thought was lost as you passed a small, hole in the wall theater. Small groups were exiting the building, each talking excitedly amongst themselves about the movie that had just finished. The nauseous feeling from earlier came back as memories resurfaced. That was Bucky’s favorite movie theater. Every Sunday they played movies from the 1920s and 1930s. He used to drag you along with him whenever he saw one he remembered from his childhood. Each time he swore up and down that you were about to experience a cinematic masterpiece like no other and that it would change the way you looked at movies. You always rolled your eyes as he said it, but the magic you felt in that theater with him was like no other.

Movies made back then were so different from the movies made now. The characters felt so much more real. They were allowed to be people. Their faults and flaws didn’t take away from the good things about them. These films never failed to make you feel all of the emotions you were meant to feel and each time you exited the theater, you couldn’t help but wish you could’ve remained in that little bubble just a few minutes longer. Those bittersweet feelings about the ending never lasted long though, as Bucky would wrap his arm around your shoulder and proceed to talk your ear off about the movie until you made it home.

“You know Doll, the greatest films of all time were never made,” he said, smiling down at you.

You just laughed and shook your head.“Bucky that makes absolutely no sense.”

Bucky rolled his eyes dramatically, making you laugh again. “Think about it though, how many movies haven’t been made because someone decided they weren’t good enough for the big screen? How many stories have been brought into existence but never been told to another living soul?”

A car horn brought you back into reality. Bitterness crept into your chest as you processed the memory that had just played out picture-perfect in your mind. Those afternoons with him in the theater had been some of the best afternoons of your life. Even if you weren’t crazy about the movie, Bucky’s sheer excitement about it was enough to convince you of how wonderful it truly was. If only he had felt that same amount of joy in other areas of your relationship.

Your bitterness slowly began to turn to anger as you thought about the last few months of being with Bucky. Sunday matinees had stopped being a regular thing as Bucky’s work schedule picked up until they stopped happening entirely. His new position training new SHIELD agents and prospective new members to the Avenger ate away at his time. All of his time. It got to the point Bucky never stopped working. Even at home, his thoughts were on paperwork to be filed, training to be planned, or meetings to be run. You’d be sitting on the couch next to him trying to talk only to receive disinterested “hmms” or the occasional “That’s nice honey.”

You tried bringing it up to no avail. He always brushed it off and said things would calm down eventually and that he just needed you to hold out a bit longer. He never outright said his work was more important to him but the implication was there and you felt the weight of it every single day. You bit your tongue and played along for a while, but after several months of hearing the same excuses, you finally snapped. Unfortunately, so did Bucky.

“All you ever do is work. I can’t remember the last time we went and did something together. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time you cared enough to even ask me about my day. It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore,” you hissed, glaring at Bucky.

“Excuse me for caring about my fucking job. One of us has to if we’re going to continue affording this place,” he scoffed.

Ice filled your veins as you stared at him, fist clenched at your side. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on, we both know you’re barely getting your work done on time. You lay here on the couch all day watching TV. You’re lucky you’re allowed to work from home because you look like a walking disaster half the time. You’ve stopped wearing clean clothes, you hardly shower, you hardly eat, and you hardly sleep. Face it, you’re depressed.” His voice was flat as he spoke.

You furiously blinked back tears that were trying to well up as you processed his words. “First of all, I am not depressed,” you muttered, “Second, if I’m such a walking disaster then what are you even still doing here?”

“I am still here because I care about you. I have lost track of how many times I have asked you to get help. I’ve been where you are, I know what you’re going through and I know what it takes to come back from it. If you never bleed, you’re never going to grow. If you can’t move past this, then we -” he paused to motion between the two of you “- can’t move past this.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke. There was no malice in them, but there was also none of the kindness or warmth you wished for. His gaze just felt indifferent.  

You remained silent as you tried to find words. Bucky continued watching you, waiting expectantly for a response. A response never came, however, and he let out a loud sigh.

“If you don’t have anything to say to that, then I think we’re done here. I can’t keep doing this anymore. I love you, but neither of us is happy. I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I need,” Without another word, Bucky grabbed his coat and walked out the front door of the apartment.

That was the last time that you saw Bucky. He had sent you a text a few days later asking when a good time to come pick up his stuff would be. You responded begrudgingly, telling yourself that the sooner his stuff was gone the sooner your life could get back to normal. When the day came, you forced yourself to get out of the apartment. The thought of seeing him after what went down between you left you seeing red. When you finally went back after he left, you felt none of the happy emotions you had convinced yourself you would feel.

Instead, you felt the empty spots in the room. Every missing item you noticed felt like a blow to the stomach and caused fresh tears to well up in your eyes. Pictures were no longer hanging from the walls; random gaps were in the bookshelves; his leather jacket was no longer slung across the back of the chair he loved in the living room. You stumbled back to your room with your eyes closed, refusing to see what other memories had been ripped from their rightful homes. Once there, you collapsed on the bed and laid there for two days. It wasn’t until Natasha broke into your apartment to check on you after countless missed calls and ignored texts that you finally moved from that spot.

For the millionth time that day, your stomach twisted as thoughts of Bucky floated around in your head. Despite it all, you regretted not being there when he came to get his things. There was never a proper goodbye between you and the thought drove you mad sometimes. Maybe if I had been there, we could’ve worked this out. You scoffed at the thought, but couldn’t deny the heaviness lingering in your chest.

At times you considered reaching out to him, wondering if he would be willing to give you the closure you so desperately needed. Even if it was just over text, it might be better than the nothing you currently had. You still had his number. The two of you even still followed each other on social media. He liked what few posts you made, but you had never been able to bring yourself to look at the stuff he posted. The lines of communication were there, you just had to use them. But communication is a two-way street; if he wanted to talk to you, he’d reach out. Right? That thought had kept you from texting him more times than you could possibly count.

Questions about what could have happened that day swirled throughout your head as your feet pounded against the pavement. Could you have fixed things, or would it still have ended in breaking up? Could you have agreed to still be friends? Would you have at least been able to say goodbye, or would he have walked silently out the door again?

The thoughts continued to plague you until the ache in your legs was too strong to take another step. Out of breath, you looked around at where you stopped trying to figure out how far you had run. It wasn’t until you noticed the fountain about a dozen feet behind you that you realized where you were.

Tony had once rented out a plaza nearby for a 1920s themed fundraiser gala the first year you and Bucky were dating. The gala was the first public event you ever attended with him, though it certainly hadn’t been your last. Natasha had taken you shopping and helped you find a flapper-style dress leading up to it. The two of you did your hair and makeup together, giggling about how you felt like you were getting ready for a high school dance. When you stepped out of the room with Natasha, Bucky wasn’t able to speak. He spent the whole night staring at you like a lovestruck teenager, only to turn bright red whenever someone mentioned it.

Towards the end of the night, you and Bucky had drunkenly stumbled out of the plaza to escape the crowd and found your way over to this fountain. Rather, you had stumbled out drunkenly. Bucky wasn’t affected by human alcohol and hardly had any of the Asgardian mead Thor had so generously brought. While he was a little more cheery than usual, he wasn’t intoxicated enough to even pretend like he was tipsy.

A giggle left your lips as you stumbled forward. “Bucky, I need to find somewhere to sit down. I need to take off my heels.”

Bucky laughed at you and picked you up, carrying you bridal style. He spun around slowly as he searched for somewhere he could set you down. His eyes eventually settled on the fountain and began walking towards it. He carefully set you down before sitting down next to you. His eyes were fixed on you as you took off your shoes, a sigh of relief leaving your mouth as you did. You smiled over at him, before turning around to stare at the fountain in wonder. A giggle left your lips as you pulled up your dress and began walking around in the fountain.

You laughed any time you went through a jet of water. The temperature difference was soothing against your skin and almost left a tickling sensation as you passed. Eventually, you arrived back at where he was sitting and the smile on his face filled your stomach with butterflies. You bent down slightly to press your lips against his, your hands making their way through his hair. His hands landed on your hips and pulled you closer to him. You felt dizzy as he held you, though you weren’t sure if it was him or the glasses of champagne. You pulled away abruptly as an idea struck you, leading to Bucky’s eyes opening in confusion. His gaze fell upon the mischievous look you wore and he opened his mouth to speak. Before he managed to make a sound, your hands left his hair and were reaching down to splash water onto him.

He tried to catch your hands to stop you, but you stepped back just out of reach, but not far enough you couldn’t keep splashing him. Without a word, he reached down to take off his shoes and socks. A gasp left you as he stepped into the fountain and you rushed to hide behind the fountain’s centerpiece. He chased after you, hands eventually catching your waist and spinning you around to face him. He stared down at you, wonder and adoration written on his face. He slowly leaned forward to press his lips against yours.

The dizzy feeling from before came back, though this time you could say with absolute certainty it was because of the man standing in front of you. His lips were so soft against yours, yet still carried such a force they left you breathless. Fireworks had nothing on how he made you feel. No words could ever hope to describe the love and adoration bursting in your chest.

This time, he was the one to pull back first. He moved his lips up slightly, pressing a kiss to your nose and your forehead before leaning his head against yours. “Would you like to dance?”

You nodded and the two of you began to slow dance in the fountain. You don’t know how long you were in the fountain dancing; it felt like eternity paused to give you and your love all the time the universe had to give so you could enjoy this moment a little longer. The only sensations tying you to reality were Bucky’s warmth and the cool water moving at your feet as Bucky spun you around. You pulled away slightly and smiled at him. “We should make a wish,” you said.

Bucky looked at you with confusion. “A wish?”

You nodded, a small smile filling your face, “You know, toss some coins into the fountain and make a wish as we do.”

The laugh that left his lips made your heart flutter. “I don’t think this is a wishing-well. Although -” he paused to laugh again, “-I hardly think they meant for anyone to dance around in it either, so why not.” One of his hands left yours and reached into his pocket, looking for his wallet. He opened it and pulled out two pennies and handed one to you. “It looks like we only get one wish each tonight, so we’d better make it a good one.”

You stared down at the penny in your hand, wondering what wish could possibly be better than the night you were currently having with Bucky. The wish hit you suddenly, a smile breaking out on your face. You pressed your lips to the penny and wished with all your might, ‘I wish for us to have more moments like this together, from now through the rest of our days”. You opened your eyes and tossed the penny outward. Bucky’s coin was soon nestled safely at the bottom of the fountain with yours.

“What did you wish for?” he asked, pulling you back into his arms to continue dancing.

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” you teased, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as he spun you. “And let me tell you, I really want this wish to come true.”

Bucky chuckled, “Me too honey, me too.”

Your eyes came back into focus and a quiet sob left you. You stood in front of the fountain and cried into your hands, cursing all of the emotions you felt. That night had left you convinced that Bucky Barnes was the one. You had fallen asleep dreaming of dancing like that with him at your wedding. But now? Now all you wanted to do was scream. You wanted to scream at him, at yourself, and at the universe for being cruel enough to lead you back to this fountain without him at your side.

As the tears began to slow, a new kind of weight settled in your chest. He really could have been the one. He could have been everything you dreamed of and more, but there was nothing you could do to go back in time to change things. He decided to walk out that door and leave you with nothing more than an empty space in your heart, one to match the empty spaces he left in your apartment.

The questions the therapist had asked you started ringing through your ears as you continued to stare blankly at the fountain. What about the ‘after’? Maybe she had a point bringing it up today. You were still stuck in the ‘before’. Maybe it was finally time to start moving on. Missing items could be replaced; missing love could be given by someone else. All you had to do was make the decision to take your first steps into the ‘after’.

Your feet remained glued in place as you tried to make sense of it all.

You were confused as to where you were. Looking around, nothing seemed familiar. It wasn’t until a familiar silhouette caught your attention that you realized where you were. Bucky stood at the top of the mountain, staring down at the canyon below. Green trees and bushes lined the ground and the air was filled with the sound of birds chirping. The view was beautiful, but you couldn’t stop staring at Bucky. He looked the same, yet something felt different. Bucky seemed calmer than you had seen him in years, almost as if all of his stress had faded away. His body language was relaxed and he seemed to be in no rush to leave where he was.

Suddenly, the once green mountain top was now covered in a blanket of snow. Bucky was now wearing a thick winter coat and was strapping his feet onto a snowboard. He soon had his helmet and goggles on and began his descent down the mountain. It felt like you were flying along with him as you watched him expertly weave his way through the trees. The ease at which he moved confused you. Since when did Bucky know how to snowboard? He expressed wanting to try but never had while you were together. Confusion clouded your mind until Bucky reached the bottom of the mountain and came to a halt. He removed his helmet and a look of pure exhilaration filled his face. His excitement made your heart burst. As you reached out to try and touch him, the scene changed once again.

This time you were in the middle of the ocean. The vast expanse of blue was the only visible thing in sight other than Bucky. He was in full scuba gear, just floating there waiting. He was so still that if it weren't for the stream of bubbles that came with each exhale, you wouldn’t have been able to tell if he was breathing. Out of nowhere, a shape appeared in the distance. As it got closer, you felt your stomach drop. A large shark swam slowly towards Bucky. You rolled your eyes at the realization. Of course, he would go swimming with sharks with no safety cage. That idiot had no respect for your nerves or your -

You were woken up abruptly by the sound of your phone ringing. You groaned and cursed yourself for it somehow not being on silent. In your confused state, you reached out and slowly felt around on the top of your nightstand trying to find your phone. Once you found it, you tilted the screen so you could see who was calling. A beautiful picture of Natasha filled your screen and you sighed. Only Natasha could call randomly and happen to wake you up from a dream about Bucky. You pressed the answer button and begrudgingly brought the phone to your ear.

“Morning, you better have a good reason for waking me up,” you mumbled, letting out a yawn as you finished speaking.

“It’s past noon, you know. Most decent people are already up by now,” You could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke.

“Shut up. It’s still morning if I haven’t gotten out of bed yet. What do you want? I was having a nice dream.”

Your gruff response got a laugh from Natasha. “Well I was calling to see how your Tinder date went last night, but now I’m wondering if I should be asking what you were dreaming about that has you being this testy,” she teased.

You rubbed your eyes and groaned, “The dream was nothing special, I’m just mad you woke me up. The Tinder date was also nothing to write home about. The guy was awful. He started off super charming like they always do, but he got snappy with our waitress and then tried to get snappy with me when I called him out on it. I paid for my half of the bill and left as quickly as I could.”

“Ugh, gross. Men are actually the worst,” Natasha said. You hummed in agreement and she continued, “So are you ready for me to start setting you up, or are you going to keep giving these Tinder people a try?”

You sighed and paused for a moment to think. “Nat, I know you’re trying to help but the only people you have that you can set me up with are all SHIELD employees. I don’t see it ending well if I go down that path given my prior dating history.”

A scoff came through the phone. “He’s dating again too, so he has no right to be pissy about anything if that’s what you’re worried about. Besides, he was also the one who ended it so he doubly has no right to be upset.”

You sat up straight as she spoke, your stomach dropping at the thought. “He’s dating again?” Your voice sounded small, smaller than it had in ages.

This time it was Natasha’s turn to pause before responding. “Yes. He’s taken a few of the receptionists here out on coffee dates, but nothing seems to be sticking. If Wilson is to be believed, he’s also on Tinder. I can’t imagine that’s working out very well for him either though.”

You felt nauseous, but you forced yourself to pause to recenter your thoughts. Of course he would be dating again. It’s been almost a year since you broke up. If you’re dating again, it only makes sense that he is as well. He deserves to be happy too. A heavy sigh left you, “Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am.”

                                        ***

You were on the phone with Natasha for another twenty minutes before she had to go. It felt nice catching up with her, and the two of you made plans for another lunch get together later in the week. The conversation had quickly transitioned away from dating, but the fact Bucky was dating again lingered in the back of your mind for the entirety of the call.

You had been on Tinder for a while now, but somehow it never occurred to you that he might be too. How does a superhero just casually join the worst dating app in existence? Do people actually believe it’s him when they come across his profile? You couldn’t help but snort at the thought. Conversations on dating apps sucked enough as it is, but having to try and prove you’re who you say you are the way Bucky must have to certainly would make it that much less enjoyable.

Almost as if it knew you were thinking about it, a Tinder notification popped up on your lock screen. You opened up the app and saw two new messages from someone you had matched with. You typed out a response and then proceeded to scroll through the list of other potential matches. Most of the profiles you looked at were immediate no’s, but there were a few you swiped right on. It never ceased to amaze you how bad the men on this app were at smiling in pictures. Most of them had only a slight grin in one or two pictures. Any profile with a man properly smiling almost always got a swipe right. The only other type of picture that had that sort of response was for cute cats and dogs.

You continued to swipe, pausing occasionally to respond to a message. Out of nowhere, a familiar pair of blue eyes started staring up at you, causing you to nearly drop your phone in surprise. Of course the day you find out Bucky is on Tinder is the day you come across his profile. You quickly took a screenshot before swiping left and exiting out of the app. You sent the screenshot to Natasha. She responded almost immediately, Guess Wilson was telling the truth 🙄

You laughed at her response as you got out of bed, ready to finally start your day.

                                        ***

A sigh of relief left you as you collapsed on your couch after spending most of the afternoon running errands. It hadn’t been anything too bad, but that didn’t stop you from being thankful it was over. You laid there for a few minutes, just enjoying the stillness and the comfort of being on your couch. Once settled, you reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the glass of wine you had poured, and opened up your phone.

You opened up Snapchat and responded to the few snaps you had from Natasha and other friends before opening up Instagram. You mindlessly watched people’s stories, skipping through any of the ones that didn’t interest you. You paused however on Bucky’s.

He was standing next to a beautiful woman, each of them holding a painting in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Both of them had smiles that filled their faces. You stared at the picture, unsure of what you should be feeling. On one hand, it was nice seeing him so relaxed and happy. His posture reminded you eerily of how he looked in your dream. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel a touch of bitterness. You had practically begged him to go with you to a wine and paint night while you were together. He always used work as an excuse, either he was too tired from work or he had too much work left to do. You stared at the picture for a minute longer, wondering if they’d be going home together or parting ways for the night. You sighed, shaking your head at your own stupidity before continuing to scroll.

The wind blew violently around you as you struggled to make your way up the street. The weather turned unexpectedly as you were out on your run, so you rushed towards the closest coffee shop hoping to wait out the weather and avoid having to pay for a cab back home. The barista greeted you as you stepped inside and you offered her a smile.

“What can I get for you?” she asked.

You stared up at the menu, considering your options. “One large hazelnut latte and a cinnamon roll, please.”

She entered everything into the computer and you held out your card for her. Once your payment was processed, you turned to find a seat. The coffee shop was crowded, no doubt due to the bad weather driving people indoors. You looked around unsuccessfully and had almost resigned yourself to standing when a familiar voice called out.

You jumped at the sound. You turned around and made eye contact with Bucky Barnes for the first time since he walked out your front door. He was sitting there grinning ear to ear, almost as if he was genuinely happy to see you. The thought made your heart burst and it was impossible to hold back an equally big smile.

“Hey Bucky, how’s it going?”

“It’s going really well! Thanks for asking,” he paused and looked around before continuing, “Do you want to sit down? There’s not a lot of seating left and it’s just me here.” His hand gestured towards the empty seat across from him as he spoke.

You paused, unsure of if you should take it or continue to look elsewhere. You looked around the room for an empty seat but didn’t see any. Well, I guess we’re doing this. You stepped forward and mumbled out a thanks as you sat down.

“I’m kind of surprised to see you here if I’m honest. I didn’t think you came to this part of the city very often,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“I generally don’t. The weather took a bit of a nasty turn while I was out on my run. I stepped in hoping that by the time I’m ready to leave it’ll have calmed down.”

Another smile broke out across his face as you spoke. “You’re running again? That’s awesome.” He sounded sincere as he spoke which made you smile back.

You nodded, but before you could respond the barista arrived with your coffee and cinnamon roll. You thanked her and took a long sip of your coffee, enjoying the warmth you felt as you did. An awkward silence filled the air as both of you tried to size the other up. You decided to break the silence.

“So, what’s new with you?”

                                        ***

An hour later, the two of you were still chatting away happily at the table. Once the conversation started, it didn’t stop. Everything felt like it had at the start of your relationship: easy, comfortable, and filled with excitement. The only pauses that occurred were when the barista refilled both of your coffees and brought Bucky a cinnamon roll, which he ordered after you spent five minutes going on about how incredible it was.

One of the things you had forgotten about being around Bucky was the warmth he exuded. Even on his worst days, he had the unwavering ability to make the room feel safe. You couldn’t ever quite pin down whether it had to do with his cologne being a comforting smell or if that’s just who he was. All you knew is that he always left you aching to lean into his chest and stay there until you absolutely couldn’t. Needless to say, today it left you feeling quite confused given everything that had happened between you.

The thoughts you had several months ago about getting closure were brought back to the forefront of your mind. How had things gotten so bad between you? How had both of you let this wonderful thing fall to pieces without even one final attempt at holding it together? Each little pause in the conversation as you transitioned between topics left you aching to ask all of the questions you had. Everything was so easy and so smooth between you today that you almost felt hope that things were salvageable between you. Maybe, just maybe, your fountain wish could still come true. As you were finally working up the courage to ask, his next sentence knocked all other thoughts out of your head.

“Did you hear that Steve and Sharon are finally engaged? Took that meathead long enough to ask.”

A gasp left your mouth, “No way! It’s about freaking time. Have they picked a date yet?”

He nodded. “First weekend in June. Sharon’s already picked their wedding colors too; sage green and rose gold. She explicitly said she picked rose gold because she wants to serve that rosé champagne you introduced her to. It’s still her favorite to this day.”

A bittersweet smile made its way onto your face as you thought about what he said. You had brought two bottles of that sparking rosé to a dinner Sharon hosted once, back when she and Steve were still circling around their feelings for each other. Sharon had barely taken her first sip before asking you for details on where you bought it. Ever since, Sharon always had a bottle in her fridge. Her friendship was the one you missed the most after the breakup. There had been a few half-hearted attempts from both of you to reach out, but each time her responses felt forced. Eventually you stopped trying.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful wedding. They deserve it,” you said. A chuckle left your lips as a new thought entered your head. “How on Earth is Steve going to choose between you and Sam for best man?”

Bucky joined in on your laughter, making your stomach do summersault after summersault. “Sam and I were actually wondering the same thing, but apparently they’ve decided to not do a bridal party. That makes things easy for me though. I get to kick back and enjoy the wedding knowing I have no responsibilities.”

The idea of Bucky having a blast at a wedding made you smile. The smile faded slightly as you realized this meant Bucky was now going to need a date for this wedding. Images of him in a fancy suit, twirling another woman around the way he had in the fountain with you flashed before your eyes. You felt your heart breaking all over again at the thought of how it could’ve been you if you hadn’t fucked it all up. How stupid could you have been thinking the two of you could talk things out after all this time. He’s probably already planning on asking that girl from the wine and paint night to go with him. She had appeared on his social media several times since that night and each time it made your chest ache a little more. Bucky’s voice broke you from your thoughts.

“Hey, you okay?”

You swallowed thickly and nodded. You tried smiling but felt yourself falter and knew he noticed it too. “Yeah, just caught up in my thoughts.” You needed to get out of here and fast. Conveniently, your phone screen lit up and you were able to fake gasp at the time. “Oh my god, look how late it is. I really should get going.”

Bucky stared at you, unsure of how to respond to the sudden change in the atmosphere. You stood and rushed to collect your things.

“It was really nice seeing you again Bucky,” you said, offering him a half-smile as you take your first steps away from the table. He nodded, still looking unconvinced.

“It really was. Maybe we could do this again sometime?” He asked, trying his hardest to keep too much optimism from creeping into his voice.

Your eyes went wide with surprise, but you slowly nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

The same awkward silence from before filled the air, only this time neither of you seemed to know how to break it. You offered a small wave and made your way out the door, refusing to turn around and hug him despite how strongly your body was screaming at you to do so.

Bucky stood there staring after you until you were out of sight. A sigh left him after you rounded a corner and he began to collect his things.

                                        ***

Bucky had made his way back to the Avengers compound with relative ease, though his mind was still stuck back at the coffee shop with you. He had nearly choked on his coffee when he saw you walk in and hardly realized what he was doing when he called out to you. His mind had started screaming at him from the second he offered you a seat and apparently had yet to find a good enough reason to stop. Talking to you had been magical. He had forgotten how well the two of you meshed once a conversation was started. Nobody else had ever been able to keep up with his constant jumping between topics, not even Sam and Steve. You never made him feel bad for his quick transitions; you just understood and accepted that was the way his mind worked. Even after all that time, you took it all in stride.

An unexpected slam of a cabinet door caught his attention as he made his way through the communal kitchen. Sam was standing there, unloading dishes from the dishwasher. Bucky greeted the man with a gentle nod of the head as he pulled out one of the barstools to sit.

“That was a long coffee shop visit, you run into a cute girl there?” Sam teased, smirk playing across his face.

“I ran into her.”

Sam’s motions paused as he processed Bucky’s words. He looked up at his friend, who was conveniently not meeting his gaze, unsure of how to respond. “Her as in…?”

Bucky nodded and Sam let out a slow puff of air. “How are you feeling?” Sam asked cautiously.

It took a few minutes for Bucky to find the words. “You know Sammy, I actually don’t know. There are too many contradictory feelings in my head to pinpoint just one.” He finally looked up and met Sam’s eyes.

Sam motioned for him to continue.

“It was so nice to see her again and talk to her. It made me feel like things were back when we were both still head over heels in love with each other. She’s doing so well. She’s made huge progress mentally, she’s been given a promotion at work, she’s just out there living her life. It made me so happy to see...

“But the happier I got sitting there talking to her, the angrier I got with myself for being such an ass while I was with her. Who has a woman like that in their life and chooses to ignore her for work? What kind of jerk does that?” He paused for a moment, staring down at his feet before continuing.

“There was a moment where she looked at me and I looked at her and I just knew we were both wondering where the hell we went so wrong. She looked like she wanted to say something so badly, but decided against it and just...got up and left. I kinda deserved it though-” he let out a dark chuckle, “- it’s what I did to her after all.”

Sam had continued unloading the dishes as Bucky spoke, trying to keep things casual while he got everything off his chest. Once Sam knew Bucky was done, he paused and rested both hands on the counter to give his friend his full attention.

“Yeah, you were an ass who put work first. She was a great girl who loved you unconditionally. You let her down and yourself down too. But she also had her issues that contributed to what happened. It’s not all on you.” Sam shot a reassuring smile at Bucky.

Bucky nodded, knowing Sam was right. He couldn’t help but sigh and put his head in his hands though as more thoughts swirled around in his head. “I can’t help but think about how my actions probably worsened things for her though, you know? She was depressed for a while before I started acting that way, but I certainly didn’t help the situation. And just...I walked out on her. I walked out and didn’t even give her a proper goodbye.”

Sam stood still and nodded along. “You did, but what you’re forgetting is that you also did because it was also the best thing for you at the time. Both of you were unhappy with who the other was becoming at that time. Sometimes breaking up is the best route to take and they don’t always end with a clear-cut goodbye. You guys may have missed out on some closure, but if today went as well as you said it did, maybe you’ve got a different kind of closure coming down the pipe.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked up at his friend. “What do you mean?”

Sam rolled his eyes and laughed softly, “Man, what did your dumb ass do with girls before I came along?” He continued laughing for a moment before resuming, “What I’m getting at is that if today went as well as you think before the awkward ending, what if there’s a possibility of reconciling? Even if it’s not in a romantic sense, you could always try and be friends.”

For a moment, Bucky’s heart surged. Maybe Sam was right, maybe things could be fixed. He knew things were going well before you got up to leave, maybe he could try and make things right.

Then, the memory of how uneasy and uncomfortable you looked at the end of the conversation replayed in his mind. He felt his throat tighten and tears well up in his eyes. You didn’t want him back. He had his chance today and he blew it.

He shook his head slowly and whispered, “I don’t think that’s going to happen, Sammy.”

                                        ***

Sam eventually let the topic drop and Bucky was free to make his way back to his rooms. A familiar meow rang out from across the room and was soon followed by the sound of excited footsteps rushing towards him. Alpine rubbed himself against Bucky’s legs, meowing expectantly. He chuckled and crouched down to rub Alpine’s ears.

“Hey there buddy, did you miss me?”

Alpine meowed, almost as if to say yes. Bucky smiled and picked up the cat before standing up. He made his way to his bedroom and let Alpine jump down onto the bed once they were close enough. His boots were kicked off haphazardly at the foot of the bed before he climbed into bed. Alpine came and curled up under one of his arms, purring slightly as he did. A sigh left him as he mindlessly pet the cat and adjusted his position until he was comfortable.

Bucky’s thoughts turned back to you almost immediately. His heart ached as he began to relive the night he knew he had fallen in love with you. How he wished he could go back in time and experience it all over again.

“So, Stark is holding a fundraiser in about three weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?” Bucky asked.

The smile on your face made his heart flutter. “Of course! What’s the dress code?” you asked. “I’m not sure if I have anything fancy enough to wear to a Stark gala.”

“It’s a 1920s theme. I’m not entirely sure what he means by that though, considering I was barely old enough to remember the first half of the decade.”

A teasing smile broke out across your face as he spoke. “So what you're telling me is the oldest man in the room somehow still isn’t old enough to remember the roaring twenties? Tsk tsk,” Your teasing tone made him laugh and lean over to kiss you.

“I’ll have you know young lady -” he paused to place kisses all over your face “- this is a completely unacceptable thing to say. Don’t you know you should respect your elders?” You continued to giggle as he continued to kiss you.

                                        ***

On the day of the gala, you were whisked away early in the day by Natasha. She claimed the whole day was needed to properly prepare, which left Bucky standing there rolling his eyes. But when you finally stepped out of the elevator into the lobby of the compound, Bucky felt his heart stop. You looked ethereal. The flapper style dress you were wearing fit you perfectly, your hair was elegantly framing your face, and your lips were painted the most perfect shade of red he had ever seen. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you the entire night.

By the end of the night, the champagne finally had gone to your head and you were desperate to leave. You grabbed his hand giggling, rushing as quickly as you could out of the reserved plaza. You stumbled a few times over the uneven cobblestones, so he kept a hand on your waist just in case.

“Bucky, I need to find somewhere to sit down. I need to take off my heels.” you giggled as you spoke, making his heart flutter for the millionth time that night. Without a word, he picked you up bridal style and slowly spun around as he searched for somewhere you could sit.

His eyes landed on a large fountain a short distance away and he began walking towards it. You settled comfortably into his arms, with one hand sneaking under his tux jacket and gripping gently onto his shirt just over his heart. Bucky wondered if you could tell it was about ready to beat out of his chest as he leaned slightly to set you down on the fountain’s edge. He had hardly sat down next to you before your heels were kicked off. It was amazing how much more relaxed you looked just from doing that.

He was so focused on how beautiful you looked he almost didn’t hear you giggle or realize what you were about to do. His jaw dropped slightly as you stood in front of him in the fountain, dress pulled up slightly as you waded in.

Bucky’s eyes never left you as you walked around, letting out the cutest laughs with each stream of water that you walked under. When you arrived back at where he was sitting and his whole world stopped as you bent forward to press your sweet lips against his. Your hands found their way to his hair as his made their way to your hips. With every ounce of his being, he wished his hands could make their home. They belonged there, allowing him to hold you so tightly against him it was almost impossible to tell where his body stopped and yours began.

It startled him when you pulled away suddenly, but the confusion didn’t last long as he was met with a handful of water and mischievous laughter. The splashing was relentless. You refused to stop despite him begging for you to quit it. He rushed to remove his shoes and socks so he could jump into the fountain with you. The excited squeal that left your mouth as you started rushing through the water trying to escape him made him grin. He was going to catch you and you knew it. That didn’t stop you from trying to delay the inevitable though. You tried to hide behind the fountain's centerpiece and to fake which direction you were going to run. When you decided to leave the safety of the centerpiece, he had you back in his arms facing him within seconds.

As he watched your face, the overwhelming urge to confess the extent of his feelings filled his chest. He loved you. He had known for weeks now, but staring at your beautiful face reaffirmed it so deeply in his soul that it felt like an integral part of who he was now. Bucky opened his mouth to speak, but the words failed him. Instead, he leaned forward and he channeled everything he had into a kiss. He wanted this to be the kind of kiss written about in fairytales; one that leaves audiences tearing up over and longing for. He hoped you felt everything he didn’t have the courage to say tonight and the small voice in his head hoped you felt the same.

He felt you smile into the kiss, making his heart swell. He pulled away gently after a moment, staying close enough to press kisses across your face. You had told him once how special you felt when he did it; now he couldn't stop doing it. He needed you to know how special you were to him, how loved you were in his arms. When he was satisfied, he rested his forehead against yours. An idea struck him and he smiled at you, “Would you like to dance?”

You nodded and he began to lead you in a slow dance throughout the fountain. He had never felt more grateful for the dancing experience he gained in his youth and that it was a skill he somehow kept throughout the years of brainwashing and torture. The feeling of your body against his calmed his mind and kept his focus from wandering back to the past. The only thing he wanted to think about right now was how beautiful you were and how lucky he was to have you.

After a few minutes of him leading you aimlessly around the fountain, you pulled away gently and looked up at him with a smile. “We should make a wish.”

His face twisted with confusion. “A wish?”

You smiled as you nodded at him, “You know, toss some coins into the fountain and make a wish as we do.”

Bucky laughed as he thought about how much like a fairytale this night was turning into. Apparently his kiss had done the trick. “I don’t think this is a wishing-well. Although -” he chuckled again, “-I hardly think they meant for anyone to dance around in it either, so why not.”

Reluctantly, he let go of your hand and fished around in his pocket until he found his wallet. He’d never felt more relieved to see pennies in his life as he pulled out the only two coins he had. He pressed one into your hand as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “It looks like we only get one wish each tonight, so we’d better make it a good one.”

He watched as you stared down at the penny, wondering what wish you were going to make. Your face was serious as you thought but broke out into the most beautiful smile. You stood there, coin pressed to your lips, before tossing it out into the fountain. You stared up at him expectantly, waiting for him to make his wish.

He didn’t need to stop and think about his wish. He knew what his wish was from the day he met you. Following your motions, he pressed the penny to his lips and wished, ‘I wish for a life filled with more wonderful nights like this, with this beautiful woman in my arms’. He tossed the coin in and his hand found its way back into yours.

Without a word, he pulled you back in close to him and resumed leading you around the fountain. After a few moments of peaceful silence, he spoke.

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” you said, voice teasing as you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “And let me tell you, I really want this wish to come true.”

“Me too honey, me too.”

As the memory faded, Bucky couldn’t help but let the tears that had been building fall. That night had been so wonderful. You deserve someone who could give you nothing but nights like that, not the heartache he put you through. He closed his eyes and whispered to no one but himself, “You could’ve been the one. You should’ve been the one...”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction