#also shes gonna get all sad like maybe in the future 🥺🥺 and im gonna be like maybe like i always do bc i dont wanna hurt her feelings

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Inspiration Weekend ..

Thanks so much for the tag @welcometololaland !!

This little collage that it took me a loong time to make lol even if it isn't very good, is partly inspired by @lemon ‘s 🍋 very funny visual of TK being put on a pony because Carlos doesn’t trust him on a horse and then the pony walking into a lake 🤣

And partly by this thing that happened when I was asked what is the one thing I want to see in s5 which turned into a whole thing that has now turned into a WIP. 🙃

The rough gist of it is under the cut lol:

Also tagging with absolutely no pressure at all(!) @whatsintheboxmh, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @carlos-in-glasses, @lemonlyman-dotcom,

@heartstringsduet, @thisbuildinghasfeelings , @carlos-tk , @lightningboltreader ,

@im-overstimulated-and-im-sad , @never-blooms , @herefortarlos , @paperstorm

The weekend is almost over lol so if you still want to do it consider that my fault and maybe it can be any-day-of-the-week-inspiration :):)

I WANT TARLOS TO VISIT THE REYES RANCH (lol I forget, is the Reyes Ranch even canon or is it just so unanimously fanon that it feels like it is?) either way… I NEED CARLOS ON A HORSE SO BAD !! I NEED TK TO SEE CARLOS ON A HORSE SO BAD!!! I NEED THEM TO GO TO SUNDAY LUNCH, OR A WEDDING OR BIRTHDAY AND LAUGH AND JOKE AND BEING THE COOLEST FUNNEST UNCLES FOR ALL THE KIDS RUNNING AROUND!!!

I NEED Carlos’ sisters to tease him in front in TK. I NEED for Carlos to teach TK horseback riding and take him to a romantic spot and I also NEED for one or both of them to go all heart eyes at seeing the other with the kids or just for Carlos to see TK being casual and charming and familiar with the Reyes family🥹 also BONUS POINTS if someone gets injured, or goes into labor, or one of the kids gets sick in some way, and TK flashes his paramedic skills, just flexes those paramedic muscles you know? 🚑💪

Here’s what I want: I want the ranch to go up for sale. Gabriel should have been the one to inherit it, and he and Andrea were to move there come his retirement. Obviously Gabriel wasn’t doing all the ranch work (he was a Texas Ranger so he wouldn’t have the time) - there were workers and some of Carlos cousins working on it, Gabriel just had the overall picture of what needed to be done, ongoing and future projects etc, took care of some legal and tax matters and so on.

Carlos has one cousin who is studying to be a vet and taking side courses in some other important and relevant subject when it comes to owning a ranch and the plan all along was that she was gonna take it over at some point from Gabriel and Andrea but she is still in school and the sad truth is someone needs to take over the legal ownership and the tasks that Gabriel did until then or it will have to go up for sale. Legally the inheritance would go directly to Carlos and his sisters, and his sisters are ready to be co-owners and split the tasks until it’s ready to move on the family line. But they need Carlos to be with them on it, partly because he lives the closest and knows the ranch best because Gabriel took him there a lot when he was younger, partly because Tía Lucy has said that that is the only option (in order to force to Carlos to reckon with his past with Gabriel because she is a spiritual woman who knows stuff)

Because the thing is, Carlos’ childhood memories of the ranch are more ambiguous than his sisters’. He has fond memories of it but it also reminds him of a time where he didn’t feel like he could show his true self and be seen by his family, where he didn’t think that his dad was proud of him, and where he would look at all his family members bringing long terms and new partners and kids to lunch and parties and think that this is something he would never have for himself🥺

TK and Carlos are invited to an upcoming facility party on the ranch, and TK talks Carlos into going there a few days before under the pretense that he just thinks they both need a few vacation days and with suggestive comments about how badly he wants Carlos to take him horseback riding 🐴 and then ride Carlos in a field of blooming daffodils😏🌼 but really he suspects the truth about Carlos mixed feelings toward the ranch and thinks that Carlos would benefit from confronting and processing some of those feelings and memories, that also connects to his grief for Gabriel.

So they go, and everything above mentioned transpires, giving Carlos some good healing memories associated with the ranch + some Carlos grieving and reminiscing and processing and talking to TK about it all who listens and wipes at his tears and rubs his back and kisses his salty wet lips and his forehead (idk if this happens before or after TK rides him in a field of daffodils).

It all ends happily with Carlos agreeing to take temporary co-ownership over the ranch and having processed a lot of stuff related to his past and his relationship with Gabriel 😌😌:(

#inspiration weekend #ranch fic #tag games #tarlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #tk strand on a pony #lol sorry about that btw #the reyes family ranch #sad carlos on a ranch #:(

[ambalambs]

Don't think I didn't see your tags about Miko's Azem. I need to know all about them! Do you have a name for them? What kind of personality do they have? How do they get along with Hades, Hythlodaeus, Venat, Hermes, Themis, et al. How would they get along with Miko and how are they similar and how are they different?

Oh geeze the cats out of the bag, I do have an azem concept for Miko xD his name is Dionysus! Or Dio for short to his friends. I see him being a pretty energetic guy who strives to live for excitement and fun and just loves being around people. You'd just rarely find him alone or not busy with something.

Im gonna put the rest under a break just in case I get carried away here lol

So basically he's a super cheery and approachable guy but he is definitely someone you wouldn't want to get on his bad side. He has a habit of coming up with unorthodox ideas and if someone decides to hurt him or someone he cares about he will take joy in making them suffer lol but he's usually a sweetheart otherwise! But yeah just he's got of a bit of a deranged quirk to him like I mentioned about the butterfly concepts in those tags you clearly saw xD but most of the time it's harmless ideas. For example he'd probably ask if he could give a caterpillar concept two heads, and when asked why he'd even want to do that he'd reply with something like "so it wouldn't feel lonely 🥺". And just in general I kinda see him being a little creature at times like there's no doubt Hades has had to pluck a few leaves or twigs out of his hair before they go into a meeting. Boy is a free spirit lol

As for relationships he is closest to hythlodaeus. I feel like during the whole final days stuff when he learns of hyth's sacrifice it was most likely the final straw to break him. Just based on canon tho he'd of course also be friends with Hades. He'd take immeasurable joy in pestering him lol but he'd know the limit and only push his buttons on a good day. Themis would be like a little brother to him and possibly an awful influence in most of the other convocation member's eyes lol as for Venat he would've definitely looked up to her as a mentor and since she was a kindred spirit when it came to relations with the people and exploring he felt extremely comfortable with her. He'd always talk her ear off about his wild ideas or things he'd see/experience on his travels. Im not sure if he'd have ever had a deeper relationship with hermes tho beyond just "this is a guy I work with and he seems sad so im gonna chat him up when I see him, maybe show him a cool bird concept ive been cooking up. He seems to like birds." Lol

I do have this idea, or theory I guess, that venat told azem about the whole future stuff with hydaelyn and zodiark and the final days at some point. And this would've been devastating for him to learn and hard to accept and why he left the convocation and everything behind. He'd have been angry having to sit aside and let fate play out as it must so I think that really strained his relationship with Venat and of course Hades. I could go on deeper about all that probably but idk how atm lol but it does play into how I feel like he'd feel about miko.

Like if they were to meet i feel like there would be a deep sadness and resentment for miko. Dio would just take one look at him and wonder "why you?". But there'd also be respect. That something so small, just a piece of himself, could continue on and accomplish all that miko has. And to witness all the love and compassion and hope and courage in this little shard would eventually sway him and Dio would come to love miko, not as a piece of himself but as his own person. Ngl I'd love an azem vs wol battle to test their worth or something xD I feel like thatd be fun. But yeah I mean there are small similarities between them if one knew where to look. They both have that joyous nature and are good with people. Their ability with song. Dio is just more unhinged than Miko is in like Miko doesn't take joy in fighting or hurting others even if they've wronged him and he's more chill than Dio is in general I think lol if that all makes sense.

Also im gonna be bold and share a basic concept doodle I did of him just cuz I needed to get an idea out of what he'd even kinda look like. So this is all subject to change but I do see him at least having long hair with this color and silver eyes.

#ty for asking again Z lol #i hope i explained him well enough but we have such little azem lore in general its hard to work around what little we have #miko jinjahl

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

nauseous Bl0WF1sh

i hav bronchitis again n moi fwend chris says it cuz ima “chronic smoker.” Whatever dat meanzz !!!!?

uMmmmummmmUmmm Ummmmm.!! moi ribzzz hurt from coughin N i had a Wasian hot doc prescribe meH a genZ pack for the nxt 6 days .! i Think she was in luv wif meh cuz she was lik ….”Soo ur feeling sick????🥺🥺🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” n She wrote me 2 doc notes n encouraged meh to R3st … <3 heart eyes.!!! Im sniffly n BORED.!!!! N my breath smells like arabic coffee. =] i wanna learN how2 Read tha groundzz so i Kan c my future n how my wife gonna lOok Like. I dink she will hav freckles . ?

my new Profesor baggie is my old Hello kitty Crossbady bag i used in lik 3rd grade n i Loveee my mommy for saving it for me.!! Idk how it didn’t wear n Tear or iDk how i Didnf break it already at dis point cuz my Mummy calls me “a power puff girl”.!!! (aka i Alwayz broke everYth1nG growing up… the fridge, bathroom sInk, etc.)

iPhone journal entry 03/01/2023

5:39am on the L train bak home holding a tray of rly bad pasta i ated half of but left tha rest on the train Cuz i forgot n was mad .!!!!!

“the man sitting next to me on the subway smells like microwaved bean and cheese burritos and everyone that commutes at this time wears black and grey and navy. shades of it at least.

i hate when people stare at me. but they do. and i feel like i look mean for a reason. maybe discreetly i want people to be afraid of me. or to make their assumptions. i want to be judged and complain about it. to feel alienated all over again over and over and over again.

why do people wear their wedding rings so freely in this city? or do we really just care far too much about our presentation, myself included.

why am i always counted as second best. or why do i feel as it from the people who make me feel first and last at the same time.”

:-[ SIMP!!!!11111 >_<

my students keep asking me if i identify as an “emo” and a “e-girl” .! N asking if i am a bOy or A gUrl. lolz.!! my Ex situationship is now back to being my current situationship aagain cuzz um he may or may not hav written mEh a poem about fisting me on Queer craigslist which i frequently check N it was romantic . soo We had a closure convo at this Coffee shoppe n i brought a puppy who was tryna fight sum kid there n it wuz awkward n sad n Wonderwall by oasis was playing so obvz it ended in seggs.

i May or mAy not have Snuck into a homeless shelter to hav Sex the other nite cuz i felt Like it . Wrote a poem ab it !.!!

“

twin size mattress

spiky shy seductive fingers

sugar dissolves with heat

and turns golden brown.

caramel kisses on my mouth

u blew weed smoke into

sorry i freaked out.

but we play the system well

i throw ur jacket down three flights and three floors

u say when

and i’ll go

we don’t need a car to go somewhere only we know “

YEAZZZZZZZ SOOOOOOOOOO i had alottaaa weirdOo dreamzz sleeping dere.!!! dreamt of gettin strapped DOWN on a fire scape then also of a blowfish tht kept frowing up itself over n over again til it died then ppl ated it.! Then had a dream i wrote a poem w all my students in spanish n i was teaching a poetry class ssomrwhere Not in America lolz.!! iimm missing the rly Kute bedazzledd “0Bama” beanie i saw at domsey N didn’t buy . it’s been aB 2 months since i saw it dere . Anyway.! security at work was using bathroom n the toilet seat Rn slammed down on his Dick while he was peeing and he just screamed “DAMN WHAT da FUQ WHAT DA FUQ .!!!” :-]

i luv walkin around chinatown w my friendzz n gettin milky T n finding Hello-kitty jumperzz n pjs at F21 >.< n twinkz fashion show at Dallas Bbq wuz kute n i still get kinda shy ab ppl takin moi pix.!Then we danced to music w moi speaker outside afterwards n Then went w group of pplz we just met to a seggs shoppe. Then we tried to find an el bano 4 meh to pee in n may hav accidentally said” fukk” in front of 2 many babies. Then went 2 somewherenowhere n got Vip-ed cuz we r Kewl n hot n do k off each otherzz nailz lik paris hilton n Nicole Richie n cuz starz r BLINDzz.!! theN may or Not hav been on E from 1pm-6am n lost the Spikezz to our bracelets N our gauges in our ears .!!!i luv Kuddling w moi fwendzz post club tho n napping then goin out again.!! N finally bein able to climb up 2 the top of the skate ramp 2 sit dere n why do ppl smoke crack at substance abuse sk8 Park .? mayB cuz it’s called substance abuse :-p ??? hehe duh!!

soooo I ordered dinn from “Miss dongs burgers” cuz trans girlsss hav the sexiest cocks<33 n ordered soft shell crab burger N omfg her crabzz were yummy.!! LOLZZZ im thinkin of the cuRse of curves lyrics while singing another song “ ur beautiful ‘ by james blunt with strangers at a sexy bodega off broadway n also Crying cuz i lost my second pair of reading glasses again and also buying a kids babyPhat shirt even tho it’s a 5-6 size shirt cuz i like the print n Now family dollar sells baby phat beanieZ. ??? i luv living in the wick!!<3

all three of us gave ourselves black eyes on the same eyeball .?!?! within a week apart.?!?! brujajajajajajajaja :-0 i yam Defeating anorexia day by day n it is so hard but i kant keep holding on2 it. N i wanna b able to eat at wei’s n cafe mogador w moi fwendzz n even doe my Ex who used to yell at meh at dunkin’ donuts got herpes from the falafel there i still enjoy eating at dat place .! i realized many thingzz keep me up at nite more than adderal n insomnia. Like pornstar nikki hearts n the old Lex logo. Blu lex logo wuzz shmexy. wrote another iphone note 4 dayzz ago ab how much i need time alone rn cuz i feel v overly stimulated n lik everything is jus2much , n how do we rly even communicate w one another when we don’t get anywhere w our actions.??

“talk talk talk

all we do is talk ,

but talking isn’t always communicating

and listening doesn’t always fix everything

days go by and u feel nostalgic for the nites u didn’t spend admiring the moon . n i lost my heart to get yours to get close to yours. never thought itd hurt this bad. and i’ll never try to dominate the conversation but im sorry if my voice escalates.”

moi wk wuz Kute those were my highlights .!! also helping w a styling pull for bobbi brown ^_^!!!.!!.!!!.!!! kinda excited to meet moi new they she therapist tmrw mornin n get Fixed (not bottom surgery but U kno, with electroconvulsion.)) i also defzz went on a reddit khole n joined lik 4 diff fourms which i kannot disclose cuz uh uh uh uh uHhHhhH yea 2 vulnerable but i changed my username to charlixcx1997 N now i kinda wanna change my name from ren to charli cuz it’s also unisex/andro AF n cute butt ANYWEYZZ yah wuld luv to continue to stay N chat n type n Talk but Yes i am busy brainstorming lesbian spring date ideazz like goin to Dock aznn eatery n eating oysterzz then picking flowers at maria Hernandezz then going 2 moi room wHile we turn the disco lights …. hide under blankies n analyze the lyrics to fast car by tracy chapman n then ask each other our fav pasta shapes then nail our hands together .!!!!<3<3 <3 <3 <3

Xxxxxx with xxxtra xxx,

ren<3

#personal #blog #mine #writing

[peanutbutterandoreos]

<3

#i am so fucking anxious jesus christ #i cant keep living in this house i hate living w these ppl #my mom and i were dead set on moving into an apartment together for one day and then my other family was like if u move out we cant pay the #rent here so now were staying #i cant live here until next year jc #and im starting to really dislike work like ive thought abt quitting and getting a new job but ive realized that starting a new job is like #starting a new school itd b so nerve wracking #plus id miss some of my coworkers :/ #not to mention this therapy thing has me so anxious bc this really isnt what i wanted like its not traditional therapy bc we cant fucking #afford that idk how ppl afford $150 sessions each week for years :) do not understand that :) #and bc its still not Cheap im so anxious abt it being pointless bc i just do not feel safe in my sessions bc of a lot of things #so i feel like im not gonna get anything out of it #and my body image!!!!!! or like its really not even that rn its my face image ig and also my fUckEd up! relationship w food ;)))))) #also my fucking ex gf texted me a couple days ago like boohoo i miss you LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP U WERE A POISON IN MY LIFE #i need to really tell her straight that im not gonna come back but i know that if i start a conversation with her shes not gonna let up and #also shes gonna get all sad like maybe in the future 🥺🥺 and im gonna be like maybe like i always do bc i dont wanna hurt her feelings #and shes just never gonna stop fucking contacting me

[saintobio]

When you said that the angst would lean more on the yearning side, I think I get what you mean now 😭 still over here hoping for GojoYn endgame 😔

Thank you for the lovely work Saint! And please get sleep 🥺

Anonymous said

love, the pain is - I just want to cry rn while working and I just I thought I could handle it, I'm used to your level of angst after all haha but wow that hurt me so much bc sn/sy yngojo endgame :'( and it hurts seeing him w someone else as it hurts seeing yn w toji :'( I just feel like I need the whole day to recuperate lol but no seriously another great and amazingly written chapter !! thank you for it, saint!! I hope you're well <3

Anonymous said

I literally felt sick to my stomach after reading the whole gojo / hime thing. i genuinely had hope that we‘ll get gojoxyn again and they’ll be happy together but I just can’t see how it would work out anymore :’( im scared for yn

Anonymous said

nah the way it takes yn years and moving to another continent to only partially get over gojo and move on, but gojo takes a night and sleeps with her best friend??? and keeps it going??? i wouldn’t say it’s a betrayal but that still hurts 😭😭 also if gojo defends utahime when yn goes off on her (as long as what she says is valid)……gojo ur already on thin ice don’t make it even worse

Anonymous said

yall gojoyn supporters are strong. he has a sidepiece in every story. if i was yn, i would have totally blocked him off my mind the moment i learned abt him and utahime because that would be my peak. just walk away and pretend they dont exist except for when sachi's involved, but he said it himself that they should only cross paths when necessary.

Anonymous said

Saint you are so spot on with this "I love u" bullsh*t from Gojou, and then begging for her to take him back. reminds me so much of my ex lmao i used to believe it, but i learned. so when Gojou said that, I was scoffing to myself lol then he fucked Utahime so i guess i was right. men are so trash. goodluck to Utahime he's ur problem now

Anonymous said

Saint, I’d be honest after you shared that story of yours, where you always put your friends first or you, giving up a man for the sake of friendship had me thinking Utahime is going to be inspired with it 😭 I’m really disappointed, I’m rooting for her to be that kind of friend. Turns out she’s weak for dicks just kidding lmao It’s my fault for setting that expectation to her. I just hope it will be worth it at the end and she’ll not gonna end up with a broken heart and regret for jumping into a relationship with a broken man. I also can’t blame Gojo for jumping to another coochie cause let’s be honest, when we’re broken or sad we tend to decide with our emotions, the what ifs, the hope to fill the void and patch those broken pieces and a good source of distraction I guess?

Anonymous said

ermahgod everyone pls stop asking for smut btw 😃 y'all never really learn ur lesson: the more u ask saint to write something, the more pain u gonna get when she really deliver and it's totally not something you expect. if i have to read a detailed smut of gojohime making love in the future while gojo professes his love for utahime, im blaming all of you anons for asking for more smut 👺i also do not want to read another goodbye-heart-wrenching smut for gojoyn. or tojiyn's. in the words of yn: stop. stop. STOP!!!!

Anonymous said

We all know that Gojou is not in his right state of mind so he's gonna drop Utahime bc he's not ready for commitments at all lmfao 😐

Anonymous said

u know what. GOOD FOR GOJO lmaoooo im at this point where im like “they just need to be happy even if theyre not together”. maybe im just such a gojo fucker that seeing him trying to move on is so nice like i love seeing him speak normally and not crying and apologizing i swear its so refreshing LMAOAOA. maybe im also saying this bc i know his heart wasnt totally in it w/ utahime. while i dont mind them together i also dont mind if gojo and yn end up being endgame because sachi deserves that too. im at a point where really i think im fine with anything thatll happen LMFAOAOO

hey guysss!! tysm for sending all ur thoughts abt sy7. i hope you don’t mind me compiling them bc my askbox is really flooded right now and these are just some of the shorter ones sdjsfjs all the other asks i receieved are really long paragraphs

so sorry i can’t respond individually but i thought it’d be nice for other readers to see the reactions and possibly relate to the anons!! :’)

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours