#and 2) she was an abusive mother herself and formulated these theories only after her children were grown

[hussyknee]

The fact is that an unscrupulous tyrant mobilizes the suppressed fears and anxieties of those who were beaten as children but have never been able to accuse their own fathers of doing so. Their loyalty to these fathers is unswerving, despite the torments suffered at their hands. Every tyrant symbolizes such a father, the figure whom the abused children remain attached to with every fiber of their being, hoping that one day they will be able to transform him into a loving parent by remaining blind.

This hope may have been what prompted the representatives of the Roman Catholic Church to demonstrate their compassion for Hussein. In 2002, I turned to a number of cardinals for support when I presented the Vatican with material on the delayed effects of spanking and asked the authorities there to do what they could to enlighten young parents on this subject. As I have said, not one of the cardinals I approached with this request showed the slightest interest in the universally ignored but crucially important issue of physically abused children. Nor did I come across the slightest indication of Christian charity or compassion in connection with this issue. Today, however, those same representatives are eager to show that they are indeed capable of compassion. Significantly, however, this compassion is lavished not on maltreated children or on Saddam’s victims but on Saddam himself, on the unscrupulous father figure that the feared despot symbolizes.

As a rule, beaten, tormented, and humiliated children who have never received support from a helping witness later develop a high degree of tolerance for the cruelties perpetrated by parent figures and a remarkable indifference to the sufferings borne by children exposed to inhumane treatment. The last thing they wish to be told is that they themselves once belonged to the same group. Indifference is a way of preserving them from opening their eyes to reality. In this way they become advocates of evil, however convinced they may be of their humane intentions. From an early age they were forced to suppress and ignore their true feelings. They were forced to put their trust not in those feelings but solely in the regulations imposed on them by their parents, their teachers, and the church authorities. Now the tasks facing them in their adult lives leave them no time to perceive their own feelings, unless those feelings happen to fit in precisely with the patriarchal value system in which they live and which prescribes compassion for the father, however destructive and dangerous he may be. The more comprehensive a tyrant’s catalogue of crimes is, the more he can count on tolerance, provided his admirers are hermetically closed off from access to the sufferings of their own childhood.

(Source: The Body Never Lies by Alice Miller)

#parts of this book are frustrating because she pronounces these sweeping psychoanalytic theories as fact #much in the same way as Freud‚ ironically‚ considering she broke with his school of thought‚ and later psychoanalysis itself #and sometimes the way she ascribes the illnesses and character of historical public figures feels invasive #and more confirmation bias than anything #but it's a highly fascinating read because 1) she's one of first public figures in mental health to reject the need to forgive abusers #and 2) she was an abusive mother herself and formulated these theories only after her children were grown #3) her son's own healing journey involved understanding his mother's violence by studying the effects of the Shoah on its survivors #intergenerational abuse is so real y'all #when they say ‘those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it” they def also mean your own life and family history #abuse #child abuse #parental abuse #corporal punishment #violence #authoritarianism #fascism #xtianity #patriarchy #psychology #cycles of abuse #intergenerational trauma #intergenerational abuse #colonialism #alice miller #knee of huss