#and I basically live on fruit

[sagittariangirl27]

#this really just happened #I have been obsessed with my purpose #so I decided if I show up as her everyday #something has to happen #I will see how that goes lol #I quit vaping and energy drinks #kind of caffeine in general but I am not insane #my body is in the phase where junk food tastes gross #and I basically live on fruit #but never a whole bag of oranges again #speaking of which I took a magnesium bath #and purged a burger from the arcade I took my kids to #my body was like what the fuck do you think you are doing right now #but I've been having intense spiritual experiences #that I haven't talked about yet #hydration and sleep are still things I'm working on #but when I'm up all night meditating and removing trauma from my body #I don't think I could ever get enough sleep or water right now #I can't explain the process my body has gone through #and if I could most people wouldn't believe me #I'm really lucky they do music a lot #but I'm also crying all the damn time happy sad all of the things #like you did not just say that to me right now lol #I'm leaving soon to go on an adventure #I'm not sure exactly where yet #but all I know is that I am in the antsy stage of waiting #to see him and jump on him because I miss him #I don't mean that how it sounded but that too #I think he will be proud of me

[thousand-sunnies]

every day the collection of fics i want to write grows bigger

#what do i have #ace pov of a lesson in changing the world which is basically a standard ace lives fic #time travel au but luffy is basically not a character and everyone else gets to do fun stuff #modern au where luffy makes friends with new people (law and kidd) and they’re fascinated by the 17 million connections he has #(3 princesses 2 world famous singers 2 kendo champions a model a prosthetics engineer a foremost historian the list goes on) #vampire devil fruit zosan moment (does the principle of feeding anyone who’s hungry include offering up your wrist? spoiler alert: yes) #kuina lives fic (kuina would hate sanji with a passion) #(sanji says he refuses to fight a woman and those are literally kuina’s sleeper agent activation words) #oh a sequel to benefits of drinking with strangers ofc cora meeting the strawhats and also sengoku #sanji & vivi arranged marriage (it works out exactly how you’d expect) #lawlu fae au (the fae owning me is the fae’s problem) #AND cora & ace resurrection shenanigans #goddamn and that’s off the top of my head #shit i need to sit down and write ill never get through all of this #if anyone is curious about any of these please ask meeeeeeeeee i always want to yell

[hellofears]

having issues with men, the associations the instant distrust, which i dont like i dont want it i want things to be different, just all of it so much just the dynamic i have the relationship all of it the way the world is atleast online and having a younger brother. I wouldn't trade him for the world, I try and talk to him where I can and will continue to do so i adore him but i fear. i believe in him i want joy for him. I fear that his peers will feed him fckn brainrot and it scares me. not even just that he'll fall into that thinking that his fuckn upstanding that his unwillingness to follow ppl will hurt him. crazy shit at schools, like why tf r ppl dying kids young teens killing eaachother with knives? ??I don't want to loose him i don't want to see him loose who he is and the heart that he has i don't and i hope he rises above it all and will continue to. i feel like im stating what he has to be or smth but all i could ask for is his wellbeing, respect, humanity, that he treats himself well know what he deserves and has some sense of self, some gravity. I feel like shit sometimes for this aspect that i'm concerned that i just idk, i dont like the whole 'dont disappoint me' thing he owes nothing to me other than basic human decency and respect, hes a reason why i live but to i just that intrusive thought of there is no different the hell u think of is real about men to someone i hold so fckn dear to in a way show me their fckn fuckery its idk, like another? it'd hurt me, it'd hurt me bad.

i've never understood men or boys, amab, who go on about their connection or like protectiveness of their sisters of their mother but treat other women like shit like their familiars aren't women? you don't want to fuck them so its different? what is it like just whats the difference why does it have to pertain to you for you to care? do you care or do you see them as an extension? is it a personality trait for you? a 'lover boy' thing? a signal to women, women u imagine u want and is going to be 'ur woman' but u cant even like visualize them in a way that doesnt pertain to your sexual interests? a signal so people can say oh he loves his mother so hes good to go and prime? a 'mummys boy' ? are they not real women just because u dont feel that sort of way? talking about women that way with your friends? do i have to bring up the fact those same people could date your sister etc for you to care? those people could make the kids that surround your kids, your daughter. idk.

its like okay u want sex so u respect them less? did no one hear dont bite the hand that feeds you? what the fuck is going on. you cant fuck them so its all good? the demeaning-ness? lack of gravity, venom is just rapid, vapid

#*txt🗣️ #real world issues #i instantly think of counter points before i say anything especially online and i hate it because its like im accustomed to ppl being accus #atory. at being contrary. shitting on vulnerability. shitting on emotions. shitting on hhumanity. shitting on the ability to care. #women can be pieces of shit men can queer folk can i can be you can be to me theres an ability just as people and the world of choice that #-e have. im not saying everyones on the brink of doing the worst and makes a choice not to either if ur going through that u need to seek #help or some sort of sincere dialogue well and truly. but the world around me has made me who i am just as much as my reaction. not all etc #is a no brainer. ppl dont have a neon sign on their forehead. its understandable why the caution has been fckn drilled into so many afab so #many women in the hearts of many and thats hurt fear and absolute rage simmering anger for bs. i understand proventitive cautions to ppl #especially those who tend to be the direct target demographic but to drill in fear to woman to afab not even just on a personal level imsur #everyones experience is different on that front and their thoughts but on a society level and then take no action to then be like atleast t #my knowledge or its just not fckn working bitch its crickets. men should be able to feel safe enough to share their fears and worries to be #vulnerable but that isn't coddling bs and pointing the fingers at women at afab. theres weight in the way both sexes have been socialized #its cause and effect i refuse that it can't be helped. i refuse it. i reject it. thats not me discrediting or trying to come at gender(s) #at ppls gender identity etc. i mean everything makes us who we are. its all part of a journey. ones sex doesn't invalidate such a thing. #humans are so complex to say someones just pulling shit out their ass for the giggles is wild. no matter what it rings true for people #its not for us to choose for eachother we don't choose what others want to share we can't decide how someone else feels we can't read them- #back a book they feel like they've never heard or is bs and give them the finger. u can't tell someone they're the authour and they didn't #write the book or they didn't hire you or agree and want u to write it for them? ur not a ghostwriter bitch ur writing perception #i mean the way we're brought up the way society has become accustomed it effects results its a world in of itself made #to no fruitful benefit atleast to me for any party. when desire grips you at the throat when you allow your will you allow your every whim #the desire isnt even desire anymore. now you're creating a loop you're creating a possibility for a life with no balance #if men are so upstanding they aren't like one another they aren't the bad ones why is the refusal to move forward and write past men up #write them wrong feel so heavy or resound so heavily atleast to me. write for better because you're better. know you're better. #excitement as it once was turns into not enough then again and again. and the core issue even thbere i care for other parties responsibilit #relationships are a back and forth dont choose for others what they want dont decide for others. ask them. #u shouldn't have to constantly prove ur different but heres the thing if in ur life those who know you atleast if u have walked the road #u speak of the valiant road you've trecked supposedly there'd be nothing to prove. you've walked it. if a new person comes along you dont #need effort to show you have basic respect for another. and if u dont have that respect dont get mad at those who dont want u in their live #u took yourself out their market. life is a in moment custom experience. buckle up. not me talking about love like a business worker or smt

[taikanyohou]

dates and black coffee is suuuuuuuch an underrated combo like come on man get with it.

#its LAJAWAAAAB. #its SO nice. #bonus if the coffee is freshly grounded and made. #its starting to get a lil warmer here in the uk and that means one thing: im gonna lose my appetite so bad and i'll basically be living off #fruit and coffee. and meat and veg. i cant eat rice or bread or pasta it becomes too much and i feel SO ... lethergic after it. #but yeah i sorta started sensing it today when i woke up and came down for breakfast #and i was like. yeah no im not feeling bread. and i just had dates and coffee. #and then for lunch i just had a feta cheese salad. im just ... not feeling it. #blehhhhhhhhh 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨. #but then im SOOO excited to have all the summer fruits!!! peaches and mango and watermelon and PROPER strawberries and papaya that ACTUALLY #tastes nice!!! #YEAH. #faiza talks

[ionlycareaboutyou]

.

#literally basically the only thing i have thought about since i got home #was fucking food #my dinner btw was a boiled egg some tomatoes some cheese and some lettuce just out of the bag #and if COURSE i’m still hungry #but not only is my fridge basically bare everything that could fill me up more terrifies me #rice? carbs #fruit? sugar #soup? too many calories #i’m so sick of this life #i’m so sick of this constant stress and anxiety #i feel like such a terrible friend because even though i act like everything is fine #my head is always in another place when i’m talking to someone #stressing about what i’ll eat tomorrow. what i’ll eat this weekend #and now all i can do is lay in bed and cry and cry and cry #i feel so pathetic. i feel so alone. #if you’ve sent messages of support i really appreciate it #and i’m sorry for always dumping my problems on tumblr #i do it because i don’t wanna bother/worry people #even if someone did worry…there’s nothing that could be done #i live 5k miles away from my family and my friends have their own shit #no one is obligated to care or help and i don’t want anyone to feel like they are #i really hope one day i can get out of this cycle #my head is literally pounding right now #i’m gonna go to sleep and ignore how hungry i am #idk if anyone has even read all this sorry

[pepprs]

#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start. #purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings. #forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest. #i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it? #delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 #also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

[dearestgojo]

the motherland is calling me back. pulling me towards her. she wants me to go home.

#i miss mexico #I'm rambling in the tags now #the tranquility of living in the middle of no where #and the sound of birds early in the morning and cool breeze when you first step out #the smell of coffee and pan dulce #the sound of people walking just outside and people cleaning the front of their homes #dogs barking from the roofs as kids go to school or people catch the bus #and the sound of four wheelers speeding down the street while people call out a 'good morning' #I miss the echo of the voices in my grandparents home and the scent of my aunt cooking lunch after she finished all her chores #of people coming into her store #I miss the slowness of the middle of the day after lunch and how we all would just nap if we didn't go into town #and how things would pick up again in the evening and night #how we'd on the steps and eat fruit or any snack #and how during the night we'd sit in front of the store and snack more #or stay in one of the rooms that are in her store and watch a movie or play in the large room that was basically a living space

[godsfavoritescientist]

dont ask me how I ended up here but apparently some scientists put flies on tiny fly-sized treadmills like, two years ago ?? and learned for the First Time Ever how a fly makes a mental map of the world around it so it knows where to go

#godsrambles #(with the same tone as 'they did surgery on a grape'->) they made treadmills for flies. #other article I read talked about fruit fly foraging patterns and then was like 'this suggests a unified theory of food foraging!' #every time I come across that phrase im like 'unified theory? wow cool reference to my favorite show' HFDJHJ #*voice of a guy who is out of the loop on basically everything* do people know this. does anyone know this. how did I not know this #yeah ok there is a fly in my house that keeps dodging my attacks. what of it #also what do you MEAN scientists couldnt find any fruitflies in the wild until 2018. am I reading that right????? what do they MEAN by that #how am i supposed to live like this. there are a trillion new things being discovered every day

[dashiellqvverty]

i cant fucking take it anymore seriously i am at my limit (my brother drank all my juice)

#(i basically subsist on fruit juice) #we both live at home (well he is home from college rn) and our parents are on a trip #and i have already gone on twoooo little grocery trips bc i dont need THAT much but i've gotten a couple things #and i guess i shouldve bought more JUICE in anticipation of running out but like. he hasnt gone shopping once #this is like. multiple cartons of different juice. i bought one specifically for him and he STILL drank all mine :| #i dont want to go to the store againnnnn but i need my fruit punch juicy juice or i'll die #literally what am i gonna do tonight without it #r.txt

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread      

A Half-Built Garden

aliens make first contact & offer to help humans evacuate from what they think is a dying earth

but actually human networks are trying to heal from climate change and don’t all want to leave

diplomacy, navigating different cultures, non-anthropomorphic aliens, parenting, family,

queer, trans, jewish

#A Half-Built Garden #a half built garden #aroaessidhe 2022 reads #ok overall i really loved this #really complex and interesting alien culture/human culture discussions #it felt a litle odd that of all of earth there was only like 3 groups of people talking to the aliens? I didn't get a sense of the global di #distribution of human society #like obviously if there were tons of different [countries] all there it would have been distracting but idk #(I think it did explain why there were only a few of them lol but) #obviously i prefer the intimate complexity of just focusing on a few anyway; so #The following is not really a critique of the book just something that was really distracting for me: #there's an artifical island called zealand which is south of australia; and is like. supercorportate/capitalist/antagonists #and im like. is this the future version of NZ? or is it separate? there's no acknowledgment of any of this other than its name #they also go there and there's none of our culture or anything. it's also in an australian timezone and has aussie native plants #and i'm like - are you implying nz is australian? also someone there is talking about fruit and calls kiwifruit 'kiwis' . #basically i'm just like why is this called zealand!! it's distracting!! you could have made up a name!! #also besties in a somewhat progressive future it should be called Aotearoa!!!! #like if there was mention of the fact that aotearoa exists and also this corporate zealand was made by the rich white billionaires? #i'd be like yeah ok. because there is mention/discussion of colonialism and indigenous cultures in other parts of the book! #the places they live in america are all the indigenous names!

[yukinyaminyato]

i've yet again been proven right that i rlly have to put at least a minimal amount of effort to my appearance when i go anywhere outside bc apparently there's a high chance to run into someone u know everywhere

#me: haha surely if i do a solo day trip to this nearby city i won't run into the only person i know that lives there right #predictably i randomly saw him (or more like he saw me) in front of some garden. what are the chances?????? #it's not a big city but not a small one either so. how?? he doesn't even rlly live in the actual city but the region nearby it #but obvs i was happy to see him even briefly (we unfortunately couldn't hang out) :') he's rlly nice and i guess we're friends #so yea im glad i didn't look like some ugly rat today lmao #bc yesterday i went to the grocery store around the corner looking pretty rough bc i was just there to grab some bread and fruits #and there i randomly ran into a dude im doing a group project with...... i didn't even know he probably lives somewhere nearby (???) #so i was like 😐 uhh. hello. and then he told me he had just broken up with his gf and doesn't wanna talk & basically ran away?? #anyways that was a short additional story but i honestly dunno how i keep bumping into ppl so randomly #my posts

[picavecalyx]

.

#ooc ;; pterodolphin has no devil fruit #one more thought before i pass the fuck out because this shit lives rent free in my brain #sits here and thinks about how. #the experiments--if they were only to grow a connection with yveltal--could have ended. very. VERY early. #much earlier than how far they went. #there was obviously a shift at some point. from just creating that bond. to almost. duplicating and 'improving' the initial design. #ive mentioned before but silva holds a lot of untapped and unstable potential. that goes beyond the original yveltal. #not only that but since shes started to take life with everytime she sets off--shes collected...a LOT MORE...that what is currently #within the sleeping yveltal. #its just interesting. #maybe one day ill write a post of how the experiments actually worked but to summarize as simply as possible. #also because im still sorta. dojng research on it. #it was a mix of DNA splicing with the slumbering yveltal/yveltal dna. #and also literal connecting of brain waves between the two. #the DNA splicing was initially the *secondary* of the experiments. with the bond being the primary. #which is why silva developed the nightmares/night terrors SO quickly--about half a year into the actual experiments. #the DNA splicing was meant to reinforce and assure there wouldnt be a rejection. it was almost an 'extension' of the mind. #in i BELIEVE either viruses or bacteria; the little endings will resemble/duplicate the body's endings so that it isnt seen as foreign #and thus isnt attacked. #thats basically what the splicing was to do. #it was creating an artificial link with the added reinforcement of at first JUST making...a slightly closer bond via sort of 'becoming' it. #this. this moved pretty quickly into a shift of the bond being secondary because it was discogered pretty fast that. hey!! #the connection was easily made. how to make it stronger? #well theres only one yveltal. making another is like making an 'extension' of the first. #silva is essentially...a very convoluted clone. in a way. #she is turning into a cloned and enhanced yveltal thanks to the dna splicing becoming the FOCUS. #and given how early that was started; it made her body very. very. moldable #it still is extremely moldable. #ANYWAY IM RAMBLING ITS 3 AM #i sleep <3 maybe ill make this stuff into an actual post LMAO i love exploring this shit its fun as fuck

[shouldprobablybereading]

#my parents did not think this was funny when I made this joke #but it’s my future that’s shit #so I don’t feel too bad #bregott is like 70 sek now #books I could previously buy for 90 is 140 #electricity has basically doubled since last year in my region #I would even take another story about conserved fruit as dessert as long as I don’t have to live it #‘do you know how expensive food used to be’ #is our version of the walking far too school meme

[fingertipsmp3]

I swear to god my stomach has gained sentience and is trying to communicate

#i’m literally not even hungry i’ve just eaten really stupidly today #started with toast then went to pilates. then had a sausage roll #came back here had two cake bars and a big cookie #i don’t have any savoury food Or fruit in the house and i’m not going to tesco in the middle of the goddamn day because it’s half term #i live in basically a resort town. it’s going to be like the last days of rome on main street until at least 5pm #if i can’t park i’m not going. and i can’t park. so i’m not going #personal

[dalishthunder]

.

#I hate my body #Not because of the normal reasons of like... being fat and having a uterus or anything like that #I hate that it fails so so so often #I hate that my doctor wants me to give up fruit because my body just has too high triglycerides and can't convert them properly #I hate that my body makes too much cholesterol #I hate that my thyroid doesn't produce the right hormones #I hate that my brain wants to self destruct all the time #I hate that I've had to cut out basically all of the salt from my diet because my body can't regulate my blood pressure #I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it #I hate that I have to take so many goddamn pills all the time #I hate how expensive it is to maintain #I hate that I finally want to live and my body is actively trying to kill me #I hate the my wrists give out #I hate that I'm losing my hearing #I hate that there's a god awful ringing ringing ringing in my ears that I will never be able to escape #I hate that no matter what I do it's just never fucking *enough* #I hate that I'm only 30 and now I'm not supposed to eat bananas or pineapples or watermelon or passionfruit or enjoy alcohol #what else can I whittle away from my life? #AND THERE'S NO ACTUAL MEDICAL PROOF THAT THIS WILL WORK #anyways I'm going to see my brother next weekend #and we're gonna go hiking #I'm just... fucking done #'you're going to have a heart attack if you don't fix this' #you know I carved the word inadequate into my skin when I was 18 #the T is still there the rest of it has faded with time #.... yeah #odt #vent #My body will always be inadequate #an inhospitable wasteland that I am trying so so hard to cultivate in

[autism-corner]

ooh i want a peach so bad.....

#i should really definitely eat more fruit. #but i mentally cant. #if i want fruit i 1) have to ask my parents to get some 2) have to go downstairs to get them 3) have to know beforehand what fruit ill crav #and thats too much shit #when i had the home for myself i'd get a pineapple and just eat that but. cant do that rn. #i could take so much better care of myself i lived alone (or if my brain just wasn't broken) #oh well...... #no peach for me....... #sillyposting #im actually thinking about a nectarine but. theyre basically the same. #augh take me back to summer days with nectarines....... fingies all fucking disgusting...... yum