#and I saw that there is so much going on with tianshan and fandom is going wild lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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Thoughts on the new extra? I know some people might think he tian was forcing himself on mo. but he was just teasing him and getting payback and it's part of character to push boundaries. tianshan don't have the "fluff" dynamic like zhanyi. if mo really hated that he would have reacted the same way like the first kiss. Maybe he tian wanted to actually kiss mo with the way he was touching his lips but he's afraid of the reaction. Mo might have some more dreams about he tian after that😅😂

Hello, dear anon!

Before getting any further, I’m using the translation by @1154lizz for this answer. Thank you for your speedy hard work for the fandom! 🙏

It sure seems like the fandom is being divided by the latest special chapter. Considering that Tianshan has always done that, I’m not really surprised but I do hope the conversation stays civil.

I also want to remind anyone reading this that the following is merely my own opinion on the update. I am not trying to tell anyone how to interpret or feel about the special. Everyone is entitled to their own take on it, and I don’t think neither side of the argument is inherently right or wrong. Even though I’m a Tianshan shipper, I don’t think people who feel uncomfortable with the pairing can’t make valid points. And just because we might disagree, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect each other’s points of view.

Overall (drink up!), I have touched upon the subjects of Tianshan’s physical moments and if I think they are toxic/abusive:

What if HT kissed MGS again? (on the lips)

Is Tianshan toxic?

Is Tianshan toxic, vol. 2?

Intimate Tianshan moments I wish will happen

What Tianshan sex would be like in the future?

Those are probably something worth checking out to have a better understanding of where I’m coming from regarding these topics.

Now, let’s finally get to your ask!

“Thoughts on the new extra?”

To be honest, my initial reaction to the panels before knowing what was going on was “yikes 😬”. Especially, the first panels. I was a bit disappointed and put off that it seemed like we were going somewhat backward. So, I can understand why people might have been upset about the update. I think being taken aback and uncomfortable is a fair olive branch that can be extended even if you might disagree. It didn’t look good to me at first, either.

Then I read the English translation and got a better sense of what was going on. I got a proper context for the panels, and it started to look different (ch. 333):

So, MGS had accidentally kicked HT in the balls when HT scared the living bazooka out of him. And now HT was seeking revenge by making MGS “massage them”.

If you put the panels that admittedly didn’t look good in that context, they pretty much fall in line with the previous time HT’s balls were accidentally abused by MGS (ch 298):

HT took revenge by pushing MGS down and trying to “feel” MGS down there, most probably to return the favor. To me, this is the kind of juvenile humor that is well established in the comic already, and HT asking MGS to “massage them” was in that category. That kind of humor isn’t for everyone but I think it’s the type that is very typical to 19 Days.

Admittedly, the two panels have two very different environments and vibes which is why I also felt somewhat uncomfortable about the latest one. HT trying to feel MGS up after the accidental slap has a more playful atmosphere while HT pulling MGS’s hand towards his crotch in a dim bedroom comes across very differently. But in general, after reading the translation, the bedroom scene fit that whole revenge type of teasing already familiar in the comic.

Another thing that shifted in nature to me was the “forcing himself on MGS”. As I said, at first it did look like yikes to me. Then I read the translations and three things changed.

First of all, it became the kind of hot I personally enjoy in Tianshan dynamics (ch. 333):

As I said in one of my earlier answers about what I think Tianshan sex will be like in the future, I see them having some “spice” that stems from their push and pull dynamics. HT being physically in charge and having his usual pushy demeanor. And MGS would consent but also be his usual defiant self and kind of “if you want it, then you gotta take it” that I think fits his character.

I do admit that HT pulling MGS’s hand forcefully like that and MGS not being on the same page wasn’t exactly the kind of spice I meant but in general, I liked HT’s dominance and the hint of danger. That “I dare” by HT sent little shivers down my back and was just how I wanted it. Now, all we need to add to that is MGS getting more comfortable.

Secondly, another thing besides spice in my earlier post was “sugar” and “teasing” (or “seasoning” as @19elaine better put it). I think both of them were present in the special chapter, too (ch. 333):

HT was teasing and messing with MGS. He was looking for revenge in the way he knew would be the most “efficient” in the sense that it makes MGS regret kicking him for sure. But HT’s form of revenge also had sexual innuendos which I think is a big part of Tianshan’s interactions. Teasing and bullying not only pushes the boundaries in a titillating way but also upholds the sexual tension undertones between them.

The last panels also gave me vibes of “sugar”. I think when HT said he “can’t help it” (bullying MGS), he was teasing MGS but also being honest and vulnerable under the surface. I think he wanted to kiss MGS and show him that kind of affection but settled for something that wouldn’t cross big lines that MGS wasn’t ready to cross yet. But HT does want that kind of physical intimacy and affection, and on some level, it’s difficult for him to try and be patient. He doesn’t want them to have to them (aka to take them for his own pleasure) but rather because that’s what he craves for in a relationship.

Thirdly, I think this chapter showed that HT knows when to back off (ch. 333):

As I have said many times before, the seeming power imbalance in Tianshan is usually what comes across at first glance. But when you take a deeper look, I think MGS holds quite a lot of power and control in their relationship. HT pushes and bullies him for sure, but he would never want to knowingly hurt MGS or traumatize him.

For example, in that situation, I would have found it out of character if HT had French kissed MGS instead of the little “chus”. MGS wouldn’t have been ready for something like that, and it would have crossed lines in a bad way similar to when HT kissed him for the first time. That’s not how HT wants it with MGS because it would go against everything he’s trying to achieve in life. He’s not going to break the trust he has gained and hurt MGS the same way people like him have always done.

I also agree that if MGS had been against HT getting physical in the same way as when HT kissed him for the first time, he would have reacted in a similar way. He would have had a much stronger reaction. I do think MGS was still uncomfortable in that situation but...I think the vibe was vastly different. He wasn’t resisting with all his might. To me, it looked like MGS was bothered but also trusted HT. He was trusting that HT wouldn’t hurt him and knew where the line “truly” went for him.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand if “know when to back off” sounds problematic to some. That grey area isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And I’m not telling anyone to feel differently about it if it goes against their heart. It’s just that I see that delicate balance being an essential part of the Tianshan dynamics both now and in the future.

On top of all that, I think there is also the cultural context to be taken into consideration. 19 Days is a work of the “boys love” genre and part of the conventions and tropes that come with that. I think Tianshan dynamics is a good example of the trope of a pushy, devilish “seme” who wants to bully and fluster his tsundere “uke”. Now, before anyone comes at me, that’s just how I see it based on the hundreds of works of BL (Japanese, Korean, and Chinese titles) that I have read. I think 19 Days is one of the very few BLs that has a lot of Western fans as well who aren’t perhaps that familiar with BL or comfortable with it. And sometimes those two different literal cultures clash. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but I would say this chapter was one of those times. (I realize I’m making big generalizations here. This is just my gut feeling.)

To summarize, I was taken aback by the panels at first but after I got a better understanding of what was really going on, I saw it all differently and that it followed the kind of tone Tianshan and the comic have always had. However, I don’t believe in trying to dictate how people should feel about the chapter. I can see where people who were uncomfortable are coming from.

Thank you for your question, dear anon!

#19 days #tianshan #answered ask

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nightfayre · 3 years

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i saw u made a one shot for the last chap and wow it was so good i really should have seen the allergies coming but im so bad at analyzing literally byeee, im just going to have to believe it’s canon. i also went and read ur one shots and um omg?? tianshan spending quarantine together- i actually cant and also body guard hetian is so fine i cant get that picture out of my head but i dont mind omg and in a secret relationship with guanshan??? like ur oneshots are my recovery from the last chap ur writing is too good sorry im ranting but wow in shock still

ahhhh thank you SO so so so much!! it’s always a pleasure to write for this fandom :) and haha, gosh, as much as a good plot point guan shan’s allergies may have been for my fic, I can only hope that it won’t become canon because I need tianshan to adopt a dog together when they’re older. 🙈

oh, and the bodyguard AU was my favorite AU of that bunch! I’m so happy you enjoyed that one! and the quarantine one, too :) that one had a really innocent, playful vibe to it that made it super fun to write! thanks for, like, taking the time to read all those silly things! I hope they brought you joy :’)

#19 days #anonymous #mailbox #my heart is so warmmmmmm #ily guys

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guanshanbabyfox · 5 years

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Okay one, question why do people like mo guan shan? Its not a hate ask its just a question I really don't like him so I wanted to know why but I respect the people who like him its okay for me, I just want to know thou.

First of all you’re allowed to dislike a character, there’s no problem with that as long as you respect ppl who like him as you said

I precise that these are my thoughts only and that they don’t represent the fandom

Mo Guan Shan appeared at first as the bad guy who hurt Zhan Zheng Xi and we thought we’d not see him after it or that he won’t be important to the plot.

I personally liked him right away when him and He Tian looked at each other in that suggestive way.

We started to see him more often and while ¾ of the 19 days fandom was hating about it and saying they “wanted to see Zhanyi and not that stupid redhead”, some ppl started to like his interactions with He Tian.

Then came the chapter in He Tian’s apartment and Guan Shan mentioned his lack of money and how his family used to have a restaurant. Which I think made ppl curious about his background and wanted to know more about it.

After that, He Tian kept making Guan Shan’s life a living hell and ppl started to pity him. What I really liked and maybe others too, was that as harsh as He Tian was with him, Guan Shan was not giving up telling him he was fake and was always fighting back.

A minority was already seeing TianShan as a future couple and it got stronger at this moment

Which was when I started thinking that they could be more than friends in the future

There was the chapter when we learned his name and after that, the famous dramatic chapter, aka the kiss

Tbh I just wanted to kill He Tian at the moment and felt overprotective of Guan Shan.

On another note I was really glad that happened bc it was the start of a big change in He Tian. He realized how bad he fucked up and how he really liked that guy.

We finally saw Guan Shan with his mom and I think that’s the moment where a big part of the fandom had their heart melting

Shit Li came after the drama and I felt odds vibes coming from him but thought “let’s give him a chance first”

We all know what happened after that and how He Tian fought the snake for Guan Shan

Guan Shan cooked for him as a thank you and before going home He Tian told him how he shouldn’t try to shoulder everything by himself. The poor baby cried bc all this was so new to him; having ppl believing in him, saving him, fight for him, liking him. Just having friends.

We saw the flashback at the restaurant and again it played a big part in why ppl love him. How could you not want to protect this baby?

We also got to see how hard he works and would do anything for his mom

How much he loves his dad

How he protects his friends

How he’s falling in love

He’s only 15 years old and has been through so much shit

There’s not a single thing I dislike about him

He’s pure, honest, loyal, brave, awkward, cute, skilled, dumb, curious, grumpy, …

The list could be endless but this post is long enough

I hope this can make you understand even a little why Guan Shan is so loved in the fandom ;)

#my ask #anon #19 days #mo guan shan

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elaryssue · 4 years

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My thoughts for Zhanyi development.

I have read a lot of theories and very interesting posts about when or how our lovely ships will finally get together and all the things that Will come with it.

Zhanyi and the future we all know

So, I'm going to start with zhanyi because of the recent complaining about why this Ship is receiving so little attention recently in the Manhua. And it's true that these two have been acting off screen, but I think that Old Xian is making it on purpose because Zhanyi has already reach the first steps of how this childhood friendship becomes a love story before Jiang Yí's kipnapping.

One of the reasons I have for saying so is that at the beginning of the manhua when xixi is telling the history of how his friendship with Jiang Yí was and how he suddenly disappear, he still call him a 'friend' or a 'close friend' at the time they enrolled high school.

However, characters' development has been huge and nowadays, their attitudes are way far from what they used to be (including he tian and mo), the author is seemed to have taken another path from what she started writing and it's great! The gags are still there but now we can see more complex characters with different and more realistic attitudes to each situation they face. Therefore I think that when the manhua reachs the part when they enroll high school, we will see a different xixi that maybe won't be in love with Jiang Yí in the same way he is with him, but more as a really close friend that is becoming something deeper but that his actual ming can't really understand or accept even though he thinks he has.

So, they will finally reach that last step after their meeting 3-4 years in the future as we saw in the specials.

Actually is really interesting when we compare then with the ones we had in the first chapters in which Zhan is seemed to be angry, even confused and sad of seeing his friend after so many years of knowing nothing about him, so the only way he knows to face it is acting in a more defensive way as he used to be in the past. He doesn't want to get himself exposed, he doesn't want Jiang to know how much he got affected since he got away. However Zhan has shown to be a very kind person who is able to forgive, and he ends up being the Zhan we all know again as we saw in the christmas and Valentine specials.

Most of the romantic development will be seem after the time skip

For both Zhanyi and Tianshan, time will be the obstacle which will define their future. Our boys have grown a lot since the beginning but what they feel and think about each other isn't still very clear at all, specially for mo guan shan (although I would like to make another post about it). This is really interesting to me because, as a 15 years old myself when I started reading one year ago I have always liked to compare their daily problems with mines and what I see around, and I have to say that Old Xian has made a great job writing her characters. But one thing I disagree with the fandom is that as children they are not really sure about what they 'like'. I'm not saying that we are sure about everything in our lives but I think that at this age 'that kind of likes' have at least started developing for some time. I'm not really into Lgbt themes so I don't know if it is different for them, but from mine point of view they are actually more in a rejecting phase than 'what is that? Phase'. I think that they all are very awkward about it in a deep place in their minds but they are afraid of how to face it, specially mo and xixi. So I think that the time for they to think deeper about that will be high school. A time when they won't see each other so they will be able to realise how much their bonds matter to them and how much they could lose.

However, I guess that zhanyi will be very different from Tianshan, these are my headcannons:

Zhan will still be insecure about his relationship with Jiang Yí although he won't show it, specially not knowing when he would disappear again.

They will first try to recover their friendship, but Jiang will still push to bother zhan

They will have a bonding moment in which zhang will talk openly about how he has felt all those years and then express his feelings to Jiang in a more clear way

They will still live together although they aren't thinking to engage soon

Zhan will still keep their relationship as a secret for everyone but his sister that may be the one who will help him to feel more confortable with it

Zhan's sister will still be a little jealous of Jiang Yí and will make jokes about how he is still in high school, but at the same time, she will be happy to see him again.

Zhan and Jiang will still be bothered around Tianshan moments and make jokes about them to bother mo.

This is my first post and sheet, I hope you enjoy reading it. :)

#19 days #manhua #comics #bl comic #bl manhua #old xian #theories #headcannons #zhanyi #zhan zheng xi

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casually-inlove · 5 years

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No, anon-san, I don’t believe that. He Tian probably bought that earring because he thought it would look good on Mo and perhaps because he might have known the studio was looking for a model. Evidently, He Tian acted on a presumption that Momo had his ears pierced of his own choice.

I doubt that’s the case with She Li.

I think it’s clear to us readers that Mo Guan Shan cares very little about such superficial things as his appearance (or fashion, very much unlike He Tian it seems), so there’s no way he would have willingly agreed to modify his body for the sake of looks or for the sake of fashion trends. Just as it’s clear that She Li has some very twisted shit going on in that head of his – so I very much doubt he had any aesthetic intentions in mind.

No, it’s something different.

According to Momo, it happened two years ago, so he must have been around thirteen y.o. I’m pretty sure that at that age boys are beginning to worry about their masculinity. I think that perhaps “earrings” on boys at that age are seen as something effeminate? So perhaps it was She Li’s extremely twisted way of getting back at Momo for something, a blow not only to his pride but also adding a lasting stigma of being “effeminate” due to “girlie” ear piercings? Because Momo clearly had a tarnished reputation due to his father’s imprisonment, and She Li attempted to add insult to the injury. Like “hey not only that guy is dregs of society, he’s also a pansy, a weakling, etc”. That would explain Mo’s fixation on wanting to act “like a man”.

Of course, it’s all just guesswork, and until OX clears it up, all we can do is speculate.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aloha!

I’m not sure why it seems weird to you. It’s his regular heavy expression when his mind is clouded by dark thoughts and seething anger. In fact, you see him glaring daggers at She Li and then asking Momo if it hurt him. I’m sure that many people have pointed that out, but Momo was elusive with his answer. His “it was two years ago” pretty much reads as “I don’t dwell on it and you [HT] shouldn’t dwell on it either”, i.e. Mo doesn’t wish to discuss it. This is the moment when He Tian explodes – because he caught on that Momo was hurt because somebody presumably maliciously inflicted pain on someone He Tian came to care about, because he wasn’t there when it happened to prevent it. Remember, HT has this unhealed trauma of not being able to protect the puppy, of not being there when He Cheng “buried” it. Idk, if you look at his reaction to the coke can thing, compared to this, he was absolutely chill about the coke. But here it’s a spur of the moment kind of reaction and He Tian isn’t able to reign in his temper (his anger, his contempt, his pain, his desire to protect, and many-many other things), hence why his genuinely good intention (=to make She Li keep away from Mo) came out sounding harsh and demanding. I expect Momo won’t take it positively, and perhaps will rebuke He Tian rudely. It all boils down to He Tian’s inability to express his feelings in a proper way. And again, his outburst had NOTHING to do with jealousy or possessiveness. If anything, it was about wanting to keep Mo safe and wanting send She Li a clear message that he’s doomed to FAIL.

I suspect it’s from the same anon, so I merged them 😂

Well, their relationship does have a layer of toxicity, which I believe, was done by OX on purpose. The end goal for Tianshan is to gradually do away with it and form a healthy bond, and luckily for us, we can see all the negative stuff gradually dwindle.

I think the fandom overreacted with whole “jealousy” thing in the latest chapter, however, I do want to point out that HT failed to keep his temper in check that moment. It’s pretty ironic since a moment ago he was chastising Momo about having a poor temper. He Tian’s words sounded harsh and demanding because he wasn’t able to control the wave of emotions and his anger towards She Li.

Now, this is a crucial point for TianShan. The expression He Tian wore was that of pain, so I’m beginning to think he’s piecing the puzzle now, cause like you said Mo has been used and abused nearly all his life and that hard shell of his was engendered by mistreatment. Momo’s trust issues are well-founded, just as his apparent loathing of physical touch or anyone invading his personal bubble. Maybe this is the moment when He Tian realizes that some of his teasings have been rather insensitive.

Somehow, I also have a feeling that Momo has never told anyone before. Not a soul knows the truth behind it. I think that part of him is ashamed of this scarring instance.

Regarding She Li. Personally, I expected She Li to reappear at some point. OX gave him a unique design, meaning he has yet to play a bigger role – just compare it to the generic designs of Mo’s henchmen, and you’ll see who’s the fodder here. Also, let’s not forget that for some bizarre reason She Li had been sniffing around Jian Yi and kinda targeting him as well. On a side note, a while ago, I made a post where I speculated, that once He Tian leaves abroad (he apparently does in future chapters), Mo will be left to deal with She Li on his own. So one way or another, the shit with She Li must reach some sort of resolution before HT leaves. I do expect we’ll see more of him in the future, perhaps also trying to fuck around with Jian Yi. Other than that, I’m quite frankly disgusted with what She Li had been doing. I doubt that their “relationship” with Mo had been anything other but power struggle and maybe blackmailing. Certainly, they were neither on friendly terms nor were they romantically involved.

I can’t say that I’m entirely on board with “piercing = punishment” theory, nor do I believe it was as simple as a lost fight. However, I don’t really have any plausible ideas either.

One thing for certain though, ear piercing seems to go waaay beyond of how one might get back for a fight. Fights between boys at that age are cruder, I think. It’s about broken teeth and fractured ribs or bloodied kneecaps. Going for ear piercing – a lasting thing – is something else entirely. It seems personal, very cruel, vindictive.

It could have been some form of humiliation because earrings might be seen as a girlie thing, and thus She Li would be branding MGS as pansy, effeminate, etc. Idk.

Or maybe it was a very clever set-up? Mo had a reputation of being a petty thief (children claimed he had stolen a pencil box). Perhaps She Li for some bizarre reason stole jewelry/earrings, and had Momo pierce his ears so that later he could conveniently pin the blame on him? Every other kid would think “stolen earrings? omg I just saw MGS with his ears pierced, it must have been him”?

We have to wait and see.

#19 days #tianshan #she li #mo guan shan #ask

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midotakaism · 5 years

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6 and 7 ? :D

hi!! this answer comes so late and im really really sorry about it, work has been incredibly busy these past few days and i didn’t get the time to sit down and reply to you properly until now

i hope you are still around to see this and thank you so so much for asking!! just like the previous message i got about this ask meme im just gonna go and assume you meant 19 days!!

6. Favorite pairing:

this panel is so fitting to answer this question it feels so satisfying sfjksg

but yeah i don’t think this is going to come as a surprise for anyone, i feel like the state of my blog is enough of an indication of which is my favorite pairing in 19 days, and you know, i didn’t want to be predictable in answering these, but what else am i supposed to do, just sit here and pretend i don’t wail dramatically while wandering my apartment at 3 a.m. wrapped in my bed sheet and holding my phone like the equivalent of 18th century fully lit candelabra as soon as i think about them???? i mean i could, but mama raised no liar

i feel like i already talked many times about why i like and ship them so much, and i don’t wanna turn this into one of my usual essays, so instead of analysing them and trying to explain why i think they are an amazing ship, im just going to be sentimental for a moment and admit that while there are tons of reasons for them to be my favorite pairing, they also just simply make me incredibly happy. there are very few ships i ever liked in my fandom life that made me so excited and look forward to new content so religiously as tianshan does, they make me want to write and be creative and share thoughts and feelings with people to the point of probably being embarrassing and annoying, which is also the reason why i came back after two years of being MIA, it’s really so hard for me to contain myself about them because there are just so few things that make feel so alive, and maybe it’s actually sad that one of those things is a 2D pairing, but hey, life is too short to pretend we don’t like things that brings us joy

so yeah, catch me at age 70 still bawling my eyes out about them

7. Least favorite pairing: this is kinda hard for me to answer because while there are ships i don’t really like (see any pairing with she li as of now), i also don’t particularly mind them?? maybe it’s because i actually don’t see that much content about ships that aren’t tianshan and zhanyi (would personally do with more qiucheng tho, just saying *coughs* i mean what), and we also know they are the two canon pairings, so it doesn’t really bother me to see people enjoying different ships as long as everyone is being repectful of each others

i don’t want to leave this unanswered, tho, so if i had to pick one… [ponders the two choices she has] …i guess im going with he tian/jian yi, if only because i enjoy their friendhsip as it is. i also have to admit i can’t really see the appeal of it, maybe because i don’t think he tian was ever in love with jian yi to begin with, i just feel like he saw in jian yi someone who could understand him in some way and help him navigate through the darkness, like he tian calls it, but jian yi never was and never could have been what guan shan is to he tian, and i think this was made abundantly clear by now imho. also for he tian and jian yi to happen you would have to break up both main couples, which would break some of the characters’ heart, no matter how you imagine it going, and that’s something i never want to see happening

it was also kind of weird to me to see some people bringing back this ship after chapter 292 just because he tian seemed to be resting his head on jian yi’s shoulder, when it’s obvious to me that he was talking to guan shan anyway, so yeah, i guess at this point it just doesn’t make much sense to me, and like he tian himself said:

#keiowl #19 days #tianshan #sorry again for the incredibly late reply!!#also i feel like this was very all over the place and maybe you actually wanted a bit more in depth analysis but i hope this can be okay too #also x2 i can finally tell you i absolutely love your detective pikachu icon every time i see it it puts a smile on my face #thank you again for asking and i hope you're gonna have a wonderful day!!

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fangqueen · 5 years

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Author Meme

Alright, I saw @geekmom13 say she was tagging anyone who wanted to do it, and I thought why the hell not. I always want to do tag memes, but I never get tagged anymore - don’t look at me, I swear I’m not lonely. 😂😂😂

Author Name: FangQueen. I know it’s not my Tumblr name. It probably should be, but I guess I just....wanted to be confusing???

Fandoms You Write For: Harry Potter, South Park, 19 Days (not really, but I did write that one, so it counts!)

Where You Post: AO3, LJ/DW, Tumblr - also IJ, I guess, when I’m writing for Daily Deviant

Most Popular One-Shot: I’ve just realized I’m not sure what we’re basing popularity on? Kudos???? I’ll go with kudos.

It’s Not What You Think (19 Days: TianShan, NC-17)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Going with kudos again, heh.

Five Ways To Court A Malfoy (And The One That Actually Works) (HP: Ron/Draco, PG-13)

Favourite Story You Wrote: THIS. IS. IMPOSSIBLE. Fuuuuuuck. Okay. Fine. I’ll go with this one ‘cause it’s the first one that comes into my mind whenever I think about this, so....sure.

Requiem, Rebirth (HP: Sirius/Ron/Remus, NC-17)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Oh, shit. This is actually a very good question. Uhhhhh.......I mean, I don’t know that I could reasonably go with another one than this. It was a joke. A bit of an inside joke that I’m sure no one would get at this point. I should’ve orphan accounted it, but for some reason I haven’t yet...Yeah. Not much more I can say about it other than that I’m sorry, I’m ashamed, and please don’t bother clicking on it, nobody should have to suffer through it. (Oh god, I’m sure you’re all going to unfollow me now that you know about this, jfc. 😂)

The Night Dobby Finally Grew A Pair (Or, Kreacher Likes To Watch) (HP: Dobby/Winky/Kreacher, R)

How Do You Choose Your Titles: This is a cop-out answer, I know, but.....I’m not sure? It usually just comes to me as I’m crafting the plot? Or it doesn’t at all, and I end up having to slap on something I’m fully ashamed of just to have one, hahaha.

Do You Outline: Depends. For a drabble or quick oneshot, no. For multi-chapter, or excessively long things, yes - if only to make sure I know where the fuck I meant to go with it at any point in time.

Complete: 72

In-Progress: THAT’S THE QUESTION FOR THE AGES. The short answer is I don’t really know. The long answer is if I only count things I’ve actually been actively working on in the past year......3? 4? Maybe 4? Probably 3.

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: All fucking 3 or 4 that I just mentioned above, hahaha! I don’t do posting while still writing kind of WIP - no, I learned my lesson on that..........*stares horrified in the distance as I think of those two WIP floating out there with still only three chapters among them* The remaining chapters on those stories will never see the light of day, no they won’t...

Do You Accept Prompts: Not since my health (and thus my life) got crazy last year. I used to! And many of my finished stories are the result of such. But I really can’t commit myself to that kind of pressure anymore, not unless I ever get back to publishing as regularly as I was then.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: My Ron/Draco sex shop plot that was meant to be a oneshot, but will probably end up a 100k epic if I ever actually finish it. And yes, if this intrigues you and you’d like to come squee with me about it in my ask or DMs, please do so. I’m at that stage where I need others’ excitement about it to fuel me.

Tagging: @violetbehaviour, @keyflight790, @malenkayacherepakha, @coriesocks, @kaarina-riddle, aaaaaannnnnddd......I guess anyone else who wants to? And if the people I tagged don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine, I’m really not the best at tagging on these, haha.

#author tag meme #fangqueen speaks #fangqueen writes fanfiction

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k-i-s-m-e-t · 6 years

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Better Late Than Never

Fandom: 19 days Rating: Mature Status: Complete Warnings: None Pairing: TianShan Words: 3,889

Ok so this was supposed to be for Day 6 of the tianshanxmasevent but ya girl is not the best at deadlines. Imagine what kind of student I am 😂, any-who I hope you enjoy<3

Summary: Mo didn’t expect his morning commute to be this lively.

“I-can’t-be-late-again-I-can’t-be-late-again” Mo chanted feet pounding the pavement as he raced down the sidewalk, shoulder bag smacking against his side with each step, cold air he sucks in slicing his lungs to ribbons. Exertion made his legs burn, having sprinted the past couple blocks from his apartment but He.Had.To.Catch.This.Train! The express trains came about once an hour and stuck painfully to schedule. In approximately five minutes the next one would depart, with or without him. If he caught it, he’d arrive at work in about ten minutes, right at 9 AM. If he missed it well, his boss had been pretty clear that the next time he was late, not to bother showing up at all. “Fuck this job,” he’d thought at the time, ungrateful, but now he recalled just how good he had it. He took lunch when he chose to, the work wasn’t demanding, he generally liked his co-workers and his boss was flexible about time off when he needed it. Not to mention it paid pretty well for a desk job. One more block and finally he could see the station. I’m gonna make it!

Racing through the entranceway he maneuvered skillfully past fellow commuters, muscle memory guiding him to the correct terminal. Throwing out an arm he snagged the banister and used his momentum to whip himself around and down the stairs taking them three at a time. He cleared the last five with a leap, landing just as the train pulled onto the platform, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. Fishing out his day pass he smacked it on the sensor pad.. it beeped and he relaxed a fraction. Yes! He cheered internally, surging forward then promptly winded himself on the turnstile when it didn’t budge. “The fuck!” he spat stepping back confused. Slapped the pass down again and actually looked at the panel this time. Expired. His stomach plummeted because deep down he knew he’d grabbed the wrong one from the pile on his desk in his hurry. No. No-no-no-no-no. Not today, absolutely not. Thinking quickly he threw a glance at the security desk. The guard on duty was an older gentleman, he’d probably be slow Mo reasoned stealing himself. Besides there was a queue of passengers in front of the station anyways, he won’t notice. Seizing the opportunity Mo shifted his weight to his back leg, hands planted firmly, in one fluid motion he hoisted himself over the turnstile and made a break for the train. Almost immediately a shout rings out. “Hey!! Stop right there!”

Of course. The thudding of heavy steps fell in line behind him and they’re fast. Comfortable with his head start Mo looked back and.. Oh crap! There was another guard on duty, one that was huge and gaining ground quickly. He reached the train just as the doors were closing, slammed his open palm out making them bounce open, before they reconfigured and slid smoothly shut with a neat snick, nearly catching his bag. Doubled over, hands grasping on his knees he gasped, feeling like he’d never breathe normally again. Lifting his head he looked out the clear glass windows to the platform. The security guard peered into the train, their eyes connecting, he pointed two fingers at his eyes then out at Mo. Mo flinched, damn.. he’d have to catch the train at a different stop from now on. Either way he was going to keep his job and that’s what mattered he told himself as he made his way toward an empty seat, the train dinging, signaling it’s departure. It jerked forward suddenly taking off, the movement making him lose balance. Throwing out a hand he flailed, wildly reaching for the overhead handrails as he fell back, fingertips just grazing it. “Why me,” flashed briefly through his mind as he goes down ass first into someone’s lap. Apologies are already on his lips when a smooth voice speaks. “Do you fall for everyone or am I special?” the voice queried. Mo is ready to retort with a smart ass reply, but once this stranger and his eyes connect all higher brain function ceases and what comes out is sputtering. Sharp grey eyes set in a sinfully handsome face gaze down at him. Mo felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment. The owner of the voice shifted him, easily lifting and depositing Mo into the seat next to him. Smoothing his slacks, he re-crossed his legs, turning his attention to Mo, an arm slung on the back of his seat. “You know, it’s rude to make someone repeat themselves. I said, are you always this forward with strangers?” “What? Clearly that was an accident,” Mo grit out. He didn’t even bother to keep the annoyed tone out of his voice, despite being in the wrong. The man smirked “Whatever you say, but you can sit in my lap any day.” “Are you some kind of pervert?” Mo challenged. “No just an interested party. I couldn’t help seeing you outrun that guard. Bad boys intrigue me.” “That was… necessary. I couldn’t be late to work.” “And a hard worker! I’m impressed.” “Quit the bullshit.” Mo cut in, rolling his eyes. “So why were you late to work?” He said, voice teasing. “It’s none of your business.” “I’d like to make it my business,” he countered. “I don’t even know you.” “You could, my name is He Tian,” he extended a hand. Mo studied it for a second before offering his own. “Mo.” They rode in silence for a bit, but it was deafening. Mo was taking in all the minute features of He Tian: the bicep pressed to his was muscular, he could feel it even beneath the man’s suit jacket. Each sway of the train making them lean into each other. The shoe dangling off an argyle clad foot was clearly expensive, even Mo could tell by the style. They were subtle design but good taste -much nicer than his boaters, and simple cuffed jeans. He self-consciously tucked his feet beneath the seat. It was not his fault that they only had to dress semi-casual at his job. Eyes drifted along grey tailored slacks, up the man’s thigh to where a hand rested. There’s a ring but it’s snugly on his middle finger, Mo doesn’t want to understand why that revelation makes him feel slightly relieved. He Tian opened his jacket making Mo’s eyes snap up to his. He grinned, “Sorry you just seemed to like what you saw so I wanted to make sure you got the whole outfit.” Mo scowled, turned his head feigning nonchalance. “You dress nice, you a CEO or something.” “COO, Chief Operations Officer” He Tian corrected. “So, you’re some kind of big wig?” “The big wig would be my father, I just manage day to day operations of the company.” “I just manage operations of the company,” Mo mocked “Must be nice.” “Not as nice as you might think,” He Tian remarked softly. The tone drew Mo’s attention, made him really observe him. The man was young but the tell-tale signs of age were already upon him: slight bags under his eyes, a few gray hairs at his temple. Mo didn’t envy him after all. “Well Mo it’s been a pleasure being a part of your morning but,” the train dinged “this is my stop.” He made to stand, the shift making him lean in, eyes trained on Mo’s face drifting down to his lips. Mo’s lips part on a breath, he felt drawn in -could feel his body inching closer. He Tian eyes traveled back up locking with Mo’s. “Until next time?” He rose and pulled out his own day pass, scribbled quickly on the back before slipping it into Mo’s breast pocket. “I think you need this more than me. It’s been a pleasure, see you around.” ‘Yeah yeah’, Mo thought watching him go, retrieving the pass from his pocket he tossed it indifferently to the floor, sat back, looked away.. looked back at it. On second thought, he scooped it up, I need this. Mo arrived at work right on time, slunk to his desk hoping to immerse himself in as much work as possible to stave off the tingling between his legs. Squeezing his knees together he powered on his monitor, desk phone already ringing, fuck that arrogant prick.

On the train ride home he vehemently denied to himself that he looked for He Tian, mind still turning from that morning encounter. At the platform, he used the pass He Tian gave him to exit through the turnstile. Passing a trash bin he made to toss it, but paused when he noticed the writing on the back. “Call me ;).” Written loosely beneath some scribbled digits. ‘Like hell I will’ Mo thought, crumpled it savagely in his palm… then jammed that hand in his coat pocket.

The first half of the week was spent not looking for He Tian, despite his eyes constantly combing the crowd to and from work. By Wednesday he was pissed because he was no longer in denial but where was that fucker? Not that he really cared or anything, it was just that the commute was boring and having someone to talk to was nice, or at least that was what he told himself.

By Friday he gave up, slumped in his seat, fingers in his coat pocket toying the frayed edge of the pass, the writing now smeared from the oil of his fingers. Sighing he dropped his head back to look out the window, watching the city, bathed in the setting sun slipping by. He’s downright brooding when someone sat next to him feet right up against his, way to close given the spacious seats. “Move your feet back you trash, I was sitting here first,” he fumed, lifting his head. “Yea but I’m sitting here now,” came the steady reply. He Tian. Mo’s head shot up like he’d been burned. “Wha-” “Didn’t think I’d see you again,” He Tian mused. “I guess you are always this moody.” Mo’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t recall asking for your chicken dick opinion.” “Chicken dick,” He Tian mimicked. “What are you a school boy?” “You’re one to talk with your shameless flirting. Don’t you have a wife and kids or something.” He Tian fixed him in a gaze. “What made you think I had any interest in you?” Mo sputtered, he felt hot down to his fingertips. “B-because you started talking to me!” He Tian chuckled, “It’s honestly too easy with you, like pulling pigtails.” He closed the gap between them, a hand falling at the crux of Mo’s thighs. “Of course, I’m interested in you.” Shoving his hand away Mo cast a frantic look around the train, but no one was paying them any attention. “You also didn’t call me,” He Tian continued, replacing his hand. “Why would I call you?” Mo demanded, closing his legs. “I enjoyed our conversation, so I left you my number. I wasn’t lying when I said you intrigued me.” “I don’t even know you,” Mo said through his teeth, crossing his arms. “Besides,” the train dinged “this is me.” Deep down he was disappointed, he’d been looking for He Tian all week and as soon as the man turned up again, obviously interested, he was pushing him away. This was exactly why he was single and probably would be forever, he was terrible at expressing himself, found navigating these situations successfully impossible. As the train slowed to a stop Mo tried to rise from his seat but an arm barred his way. “What are you doing?” He pushed at the arm. “I gotta go, this is my stop.” He Tian bent his arm, elbow knocking Mo back into his seat. “Not today it isn’t,” He Tian said, mouth splitting in a grin. Mo swallowed. Hard.

They got off a few stops later in downtown, nightlife already getting into full swing, fed by the metropolitan buildings that surrounded it. With so much activity Mo found himself slowing his pace to drink in the energy of the surrounding establishments. The sidewalks were packed with people slipping into and stumbling out of the bars and lounges that lined the street. Upbeat music played from speakers mounted outside chic restaurants, intermingled with laughter, shouting and pieced conversations, it’s exciting. He turned, blushing when he sees He Tian leaned up against a storefront watching him in amusement. “Where are we going anyway?” Mo sneered, striding up to He Tian trying to cover for his bright-eyed reaction. “Not far,” he responded politely, “I think you’ll like it.” It wasn’t far; a few more blocks found them in front of an impressive building, one Mo had to crane his neck back to see it’s full height. He allowed himself to be led sheepishly through the elegant lobby, feeling particularly out of place. This place was nice, too nice, more extravagant than any place he’d ever been. He could still leave, it would take He Tian at least a few seconds to notice his absence, but then they were at the elevator and the button had been pressed. They rode the elevator to the 16th floor in silence, a handsy couple in the far corner exuding more foreplay than Mo was comfortable with. He cleared his throat awkwardly, relieved when the doors opened. It was a short walk down the corridor, their steps led by the sound of chattering and music, coming from a chic lounge nestled into an upscale hotel. Inside it the lights were low, save for sweeping spotlights that glided over patrons, illuminating a face here a torso there. To their right was a long bar, absolutely packed. It’s entire back wall glowed, bathing everyone in the immediate area in purple light. Several people stood behind those seated hoping to catch the elusive eye of the bartenders, shouting their drink orders over heads and the upbeat music. The entire left side of the lounge was windows and Mo could just make out a flurry movement beyond them. It peaked his curiosity as he followed He Tian continuing on toward curtained double glass doors leading outside. Stepping out from behind the other man was like stepping into another world entirely. Mo inhaled sharply, playing it off on the sharpness of the sudden cold. A vast patio area spread out before them, its far ends wrapping around the corners of the building. A 180-degree view of city surrounded them. Mo exhaled, taking in the skyscrapers and bustling city, sun just on the cusp of the horizon, scattering the sky with deep blues and oranges. It was breathtaking. “Wow,” Mo murmured. He Tian looked toward him at that, face unreadable save for a twitch at the corner of his mouth. “Uh, after you,” Mo gestured, taking another glance before hurrying after He Tian’s retreating back. Out here the air was electric as a thumping set started from the DJ booth, gearing up for the crowd. The group outside was young and vibrant, most clad in suits and blazers under coats clearly having just stepped out of the office for the day ready to kickoff the weekend. Woven within were a few already in club attire. Short, skin tight dresses layered over tights teeter around on stilettos. Casual shirts with the sleeves rolled, tucked into jeans, clearly here to pre-game for the enticing happy hour before heading out for sharper, if possible, digs. Towards the middle of the space were several couches with another packed bar sitting behind it on the adjacent wall. He Tian made his way toward it, cutting an easy path through the masses clamoring for drinks. Mo walked in his wake watching the faces of men and women alike turn toward them and morph from irritation to admiration as He Tian bypassed them to the front. The attention of the bartender was caught with little effort, the man sliding up to take their orders. “I’ll have a mojito,” He Tian told him, turning to Mo face expectant. “Uh- rum and coke.” As they waited He Tian shifted his body towards him resting an arm on the bar, making the space more intimate. Mo’s first instinct was to take a step back because He Tian’s presence was overwhelming, but there was a barstool at his back. “What do you think of this place,” He Tian asked, eyes sweeping the area over Mo’s head. Mo cleared his throat. “It’s… nice.” He Tian chuckled. The bartender placed their drinks on the counter, a momentary interruption and He Tian slid him a card in return for the tab. They drifted away from the bar, hanging just off the seating area. Mo sipped at his rum and coke, just to do something with his mouth. The drink was stronger than he usually took it and halfway through he was pleasantly buzzed. “Huh,” he said, then jumped sloshing his drink a bit when he realized He Tian is right there watching him. “I asked if you were cold, we can go back inside if you like.” “I’m fine,” he mumbled into the glass “cold doesn’t really bother me, it’s actually pretty nice.” “I’m a little cold actually but I know what’ll warm me up,” he said placing his empty glass on a nearby table. The area in front of the DJ has gotten dense and he dragged Mo towards it. “Wait,” Mo sputtered, digging in his heels “I can’t dance!” “I’ll teach you,” He Tian’s called over his shoulder winking. Teach was a poor excuse for the reality of the situation as He Tian is pressed way too close to him to truly allow much movement. He swayed his hips in a simple motion that even Mo could keep up with but as the beats swelled and the crowd thickened providing a level of obscurity that was comfortable, Mo felt more confident, the two of them jumping with the crowd as a techno beat plays. By his third drink his hands were wandering, sliding beneath layers to ghost over smooth skin. They were welcomed as He Tian slid said hands up to cross around his neck, pulling him closer, gripping his waist. “I thought you couldn’t dance,” he whispered lips brushing over the curve of Mo’s ear making him shiver. “Did you think that line was smooth?” Mo returned, looking up at him, straight faced. It was He Tian’s turn to look flustered, cheeks lighting up in embarrassment. Mo let him scramble for a second, relished in success at finally turning the tables on him. “Too easy honestly,” he answered winking, loving the confidence of tipsy Mo, encouraging an extended stay. He Tian exhaled. “You know,” he said hands dropping lower “You’re not as uptight as you look.” “And you’re not that big of a prick.”

“So,” Mo said waving a hand for emphasis “let me get this straight. You tell people what to do and they just do it?” “That’s usually how it works,” He Tian laughed as he fished a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He stuck one in his mouth, thumbed his lighter sparking it. He raised an eyebrow at Mo, questioning. “It’s fine,” Mo answered. Tendrils of smoke curl in the silence between them, where they lean pressed against the balcony railing. Muted sounds of the city drifted up to them occasionally. “You don’t smoke?” He Tian asked between puffs breaking the silence. “Never tried.” “Mmm.” Taking a drag he turned, exhaling the smoke toward Mo with precision so it fanned out over his nose and mouth. Mo opened his mouth in protest, but only succeeded in sucking down a lungful. It burned, left him coughing like a rookie. Reaching for his drink, he chugged it, glaring daggers at He Tian as it soothed his throat. “What the hell?! Warn me first.” “Where’s the fun in that?” He Tian smiled, voice playful. They stared each other down, Mo’s lips parting as his tongue darted out to wet them, biting his bottom one when He Tian’s eyes followed the movement. “Do it again.” He Tian raised an eyebrow, but blew smoke directly into Mo’s willing mouth. He handled it better but it was still acrid and bitter, rough on his lungs. It was hard to see the appeal. “So..?” Shaking his head to clear the smoke, he stepped back, sucked greedily at the cold night air to counter the heat in his chest. “Nah, that shit’s gross.” “Try one more time, but like this-“ Looming into his space, he backed them both into the corner where the railing was cut into a vee. He gazed steadily at Mo, cheeks hallowed, chest filling to capacity. A hand grazed Mo’s cheek as his head is tipped up, mouth dropping open in surprise as cold lips brushed over his. The kiss was tentative at first, asking and Mo was eager, inviting because fuck finally. It was a give and take as much as it’s dizzying and intoxicating, He Tian playing him perfectly, guiding. It was like sparks lit where their mouths meet, flowing through his system setting synapses aflame. Mo relaxed into him and he delved deeper, tongue chasing as it curled over and around his, sucking the air from his lungs till it’s too much but he doesn’t want it to end. When they broke apart it was only because of the smoke, expelled in streams as Mo panted for breath. “Better?” He Tian got out, voice tight before Mo yanked him back down. It was fiercer this time hot and possessive, teeth clipping in a way that was juvenile and should be embarrassing but simply turned Mo on even more. Hands cupped his ass pulling their hips flush together, pushing out moans, body reacting before his mind can catch up -but the solid press of He Tian’s cock against him was clear proof he was not the only one affected. “I’ve been wanting to do that since you landed on my dick the other day.” “I told you that, was an accident” Mo countered nipping at his lips. “I wouldn’t mind a re-enactment,” He Tian shrugged. “Tch, you really are a pervert.” “Just me?” he countered, gesturing at Mo’s obvious arousal straining against his jeans. “…maybe you can help me out,” Mo said slowly. Was he really considering this? Wait was that even a question? “My apartment is not too far but no pressure. I enjoyed tonight even if it ends here. …I would like to see you again though.” He Tian looked nervous, it was laughable. All that confidence and power he radiated yet here he was acting as if he slipped Mo a note that said “Do you like me? Yes, No, Maybe.” Mo grimaced eyebrows raised. He reached beyond the man to fish inside his empty glass, and pulled out the sprig of mint. “Damn.” “W-what happened?” He Tian asked, slight waver in his voice. “Mistletoe.” Mo winked twirling the sprig between his fingers. He placed it on his tongue, eyes centered on that sharp curve of a mouth. He Tian’s lips were cold but soft, Mo took his time leaving chaste kisses before pushing further. Mint mixing with smooth smokiness as his tongue flicked out, tasting, hands reaching for purchase to tangle them in dark locks. “Call the cab.” Mo murmured.

If you’ve never had to run to catch public transportation before I envy you. Pro Tip: Leave early so you don’t have to be stressed. Also, I should take my own advice 😂

Well, th-th-th-that’s all folks! I really enjoyed this week celebrating one of my absolute fave OTP’s and thank you to everyone that read/gave feedback on my stuff, you’re all lovely people and I adore this fandom<3

Most importantly thank you to the amazing @fujoshi-gal who beta’d my works and had to be subjected to reading my stuff not just once but several times lol. You’re the real MVP and honestly I know I wouldn’t have written so much without all your encouragement and honest feedback. I never thought I’d enjoy checking my email so much either lmao. You notes and comments always brighten my day. If you ever need a beta hit her up, she is amazinggg.

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #my writing #kis writes

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youhavebeentraceyd · 7 years

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Tianshan Week Day 5 - Office AU

read it on the AO3

Summary: so far my only contribution to tianshan week and im sorryyyy. but anyway, office au, smut. they do it at work, and that is all

Words: 5435

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: None

Fandom: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian

Relationships: He Tian/Mo Guan Shan

Characters: He Tian, Mo Guan Shan - Character

Additional Tags: AU Office AU Smut hell yeah i paused working on my other fic to write this so please love this

Guan Shan walks out of the finished company meeting very briskly, frustrated and with a half hard boner. All because of that shitty co-worker of his. No matter how much Guan Shan tries to block out He Tian from his sight and his mind, he always finds himself thinking about him and sneaking glances over at him whenever he can. His hair, his face, his voice, his fucking toned chest tightly fitted underneath the fabric of his work shirts...no, fuck. Stop. He can’t be thinking about him right now, with what’s happening down in his trousers.

The worst part about being so physically attracted to him, is that he actually hates He Tian. Back when Guan Shan had first seen him at the office, he was surrounded by female co-workers at the water coolers. When they had made eye contact, He Tian gave him a once-over look with a smile, liking what he saw, and sent him a wink - which was completely inappropriate in the workplace environment. Since that very first moment, He Tian has been nothing but a nuisance. The constant advances towards him does nothing but tease and aggravate him. One time he came over to Guan Shan’s cubicle and spilled his plastic cup of water all over his lap. He grabbed some tissues and wiped down Guan Shan’s crotch area. He actually did that.

The lewd remarks, the sexual behaviour, his devilish smiles, he directs all of that towards Guan Shan, giving him all these signs that he wants him, but then doesn’t seal the deal. No asking out on dates, no offerings to take him home after the company mixers, nothing. Guan Shan is convinced that he’s only doing all of this to goad him, and he hates that. He hates He Tian.

Honestly, Guan Shan should’ve filed a sexual harassment complaint by now. But he hasn’t. He won’t.

Rather than go back to his cubicle like the rest of his co-workers, Guan Shan detours down the hall and to the right, where the copy and printer room is. He would've preferred the men’s bathroom but that was one floor down and he needed to cool his head (and dick) down immediately, so printer room it is.

The printer room is well air-coned and it’s mainly only used on Fridays when hard copy reports are to be handed in, so he knows he’ll be alone in there. But on the off chance that someone does come in, he doesn’t want to look like he’s slacking off. So he grabs some loose printing paper that missed the rubbish bin and starts making copies of them with the scanner, putting the copying amount to 1000 - that will take a while. He takes in a deep breath in, and back out, this is good, he just needs ten minutes in here to calm down and then he’ll be able to return to work as a functioning member of this company, with no boner and zero thoughts of a certain co-worker fucking him on a desk...Maybe give him fifteen minutes.

Suddenly he hears the door open, oh great. Sighing once again, he turns to look at his unwanted guest - fuck, no. Unwanted is the appropriate term.

“Oh hey, Guan Shan. I didn’t know you were in here,” He Tian says fakely, with his fake smile and fake sincerity. Of course he knew Guan Shan was in here. The heat rises and grows exponentially all over Guan Shan as he watches He Tian close the door, now alone with the cause of all his troubles and frustrations.

“What do you want?” Guan Shan asks harshly. If this was a non-professional environment, he absolutely would’ve said ‘what the fuck do you want?’ instead. To make it transparently clear that his intentions towards He Tian are hostile.

He Tian puts his hands up as a sign of peace, what bullshit, and continues to smile sweetly at him, “I’m just here to use the printer.”

“Well this one’s taken,” Guan Shan gestures to the printer he’s using defensively.

“Yeah, clearly,” He Tian retorts, looking like he wants to roll his eyes. Guan Shan’s face burns, He Tian always manages to make him feel like an idiot. He Tian walks over to the printer right next to Guan Shan’s and the sudden close proximity has Guan Shan instinctively stepping around his own to get further away, as if the printer could protect him.

Of course He Tian notices with a smile but he doesn't say anything about it. Instead he gets to work on the printer, pressing some buttons here and there until it gets going. Then he bends down, flaunting his ass in Guan Shan’s direction to check the stock of paper in the printer. Shit, this is not good. Guan Shan had come in here to cool down but with He Tian in the room, doing what He Tian does, his erection is getting stiffer by the second.

When He Tian gets up again he starts to loosen his tie a little and undo his top button. Guan Shan was in physical pain now. He Tian was too damn hot and he fucking knew it. He knew what he was doing to him and Guan Shan bets that he also knows that Guan Shan wants He Tian to push him against a wall and fuck him senseless, knows that Guan Shan wants He Tian to make him come so hard he screams. He wants He Tian so badly he doesn’t know how much more of this torture he can take.

“So I was watching you during the meeting,” He Tian states nonchalantly, and Guan Shan can't help but think, no shit.

“And you didn’t look too good, like you're burning up. I think you might have a fever.”

Right, a fever, let's go with that. Red refrains from arguing against it. But then suddenly he stops listening to what he's saying to him, distracted by what he notices is happening to He Tian’s printer.

It's printing out blank pieces of paper. And from the small screen on the printer it says ‘15/1000 copies to go’. He Tian is doing the exact same thing that Guan Shan did; giving the illusion of productivity while in reality they’re just stalling for time. Guan Shan’s mind races with the implications. That He Tian is not in this room for work related reasons, but because he wants to be in this room with him. It shouldn't surprise Guan Shan really, He Tian wants to mess with him all the time. But he can't help but let his heart beat faster at the thought of He Tian coming in here to talk to him alone. He also can't help noting that with two printers working away, the noise in here would make it impossible for anyone outside to hear them talk.

With these thoughts filling his head, Guan Shan is slow to notice He Tian stepping around the printers to stand right next to him. The back of his hand lightly touches Guan Shan’s forehead, “Are you alright?”

He Tian is right in front of him, so close. And that delicate touch is enough to send Guan Shan over the edge.

"Fuck this," Guan Shan says, exasperated and absolutely done with all of this bullshit. He grabs He Tian by his tie and tugs him forward, kissing him roughly. He is done with talking, and done with all of their side-stepping around each other.

He Tian is only given a second to breathe before Guan Shan has him tightly by the hair, kissing him again, rigorously biting and licking at his lips. He feels He Tian grab onto his waist and they step backwards until Guan Shan’s ass hits the edge of a desk. He Tian has a thigh between Guan Shan’s legs, no doubt feeling the stiffness of Guan Shan’s dick. He doesn’t really care what He Tian thinks of that, far too distracted by He Tian’s tongue pushing deep into his mouth, taking control of their situation. Guan Shan feels hot and bothered all over, quickly losing breath at the rush of He Tian’s lips, He Tian’s hands, He Tian’s tongue, He Tian’s everything.

When they finally separate for air, breathing heavily against each other, He Tian looks at Guan Shan. There’s nothing but lust in his eyes and Guan Shan feels the heat pool in his stomach.

“Fucking finally,” He Tian whispers huskily.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Guan Shan isn’t given any time to ask when He Tian holds onto the nape of Guan Shan’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Their lips collide, desperate and full of want. Guan Shan moans into the kiss, his groin rutting against He Tian’s thigh. He’ll ask questions afterwards, but for now he needs more of this. He pushes He Tian away and flips them around; He Tian now leaning against the desk. Their kisses become sloppier, as Guan Shan gets distracted with unbuckling He Tian’s belt.

“I need you,” Guan Shan says between wet kisses, “To take off,” he makes quick work of He Tian’s tie after his belt, “Your fucking clothes.”

He Tian obliges by letting go of Guan Shan and starts unbuttoning his own shirt. Guan Shan wanted to watch him take it off, to watch him reveal his no doubt exquisite chest, bit by bit, but He Tian went and distracted him with kisses. He then feels He Tian’s hands slip around his back, drawing him closer to his chest which sets Guan Shan on fucking fire.

Feeling the heat surrounding him, Guan Shan wants to stay like this for hours, screw going back to work. With that single sudden thought, Guan Shan pulls back, “Ah fuck, wait, wait.”

He Tian doesn’t let him go too far, keeping his hands around him, “What is it?”

Guan Shan looks over to the entrance that they both came through, any of their co-workers (or worse their boss) could have come in and caught them by now, “The door. We need to-”

“-I already locked it.”

“Wha-?”

“When I came in.”

He Tian had said it so dismissively, like this wasn’t a topic of interest to discuss and that he wanted to get back to the task at hand. And true, Guan Shan also wanted to get back to what they were doing, but he just had to ask, “You knew this would happen?”

A smile grows on He Tian’s face, “No,” he shakes his head, “I just didn't want anyone to come in while we talked.”

Good enough answer for Guan Shan.

“Fuck talking,” he says before his lips are back on He Tian’s with bruising force, their tongues beckoning each other in so naturally. Guan Shan traces his fingers around the curves of He Tian’s rock-hard abs, finally able to touch them after the pure torture of watching He Tian bend and stretch in his tight shirts during all those meetings. He pulls his face away enough to look down at where his own hands are going. He slowly moves them down, until finally reaching He Tian’s crotch. He palms him through his pants, listening to He Tian’s heavy breathing, and feeling the size of him. He had suspected He Tian to be above average, but this...

“Guan Shan,” He Tian interrupts his thoughts. Guan Shan looks up to see a heavy-lidded He Tian, perfect red lips glistening, “Get on your knees.”

Fuck. Guan Shan was planning to anyway, but with that single order he drops to his knees without missing a beat. He catches the way He Tian’s eyes widen for a moment, startled by how eager he is, and Guan Shan smiles, feeling the thrill of surprising He Tian. He quickly get He Tian’s pants and underwear out of the way and takes him into his hand, mouth watering at the size of the throbbing cock and licks his lips.

“Too big for you?” He Tian drawls with a smirk.

Guan Shan only smiles back provocatively, “Not at all.”

He doesn’t wait for He Tian to retort, before he has him in his mouth, while his hands go to grip onto He Tian’s bare thighs. Above him, He Tian keens. Guan Shan feels the shudder escape He Tian’s mouth, trying to keep his cool. He definitely wants to see He Tian lose control, thinking of it as revenge for all of He Tian’s shit that he's had to put up with. But also he just really wants to suck He Tian’s dick.

He takes the head into his mouth, sucking hard, and then dragging his tongue over the slit, causing He Tian’s breath to hitch. Too easy. If Guan Shan’s mouth wasn’t full he’d be smiling. Slackening his jaw, he almost pushes He Tian’s entire length in his mouth with one quick motion, and he looks up to see He Tian cover his own mouth, his face scrunched up in pleasure. Good. Guan Shan can’t help but moan himself, choking on the fullness of He Tian’s pulsing cock. He starts bobbing forwards and back, trailing his tongue up in different directions, wanting to hear He Tian’s lose control.

“Fucking hell, Guan Shan,” He Tian lets out with a shaky voice. His hands reach to the sides of Guan Shan’s head and hold him there. Guan Shan gets the message and opens his mouth further before He Tian thrusts into his throat, tears appearing in Guan Shan’s eyes. God, yes please. Guan Shan whimpers at the harshness of the thrusts, his nails digging into He Tian’s thighs. With every stroke, He Tian’s cock reaches the back of his throat and the pleasure is unbearable for both of them. His muffled whines and He Tian’s groans fill the room, as well as the sopping sound of his mouth taking in He Tian’s cock over and over and over again. If it wasn’t for the loud workings of the two printers still in use, they would have had no chance of hiding this from their co-workers.

He Tian lets go of Guan Shan’s head suddenly, leaning back and placing his hands on the desk to stabilise himself. His breathing had become erratic, and Guan Shan knew that he was close to climaxing in Guan Shan’s mouth. With no hands holding him in place, Guan Shan finally pulls off of He Tian’s cock completely, lips plump and wet, face flushed and precum dribbling down his chin. From the way He Tian is looking at him, Guan Shan knows that he looks very fuckable. And god, is Guan Shan desperate to be fucked by him.

Steadying himself on his knees, Guan Shan’s hands let go of their tight grip on He Tian’s thighs and move to unbuckle his own pants. He lifts his waist up to pull his pants and underwear down, freeing his hard cock. Now one of his hands goes back to He Tian’s thigh, while the other hand’s fingers go into his mouth, making sure He Tian is watching as he laps his fingers up, coating them with saliva. He draws his soaking fingers out and moves them behind himself. The look in He Tian’s eyes is priceless when he sticks two fingers into his ass with a sultry gasp.

Now fingering himself, Guan Shan attempts to take He Tian’s cock into his mouth again, but is stopped short by He Tian pushing him back.

“Get up,” He Tian orders, placing his hands under Guan Shan’s armpits to help pull him up into a standing position quickly, “Bend over the desk.”

Guan Shan feels his cock throb at the words, obediently pulling his fingers out and leaning down onto the desk with both elbows, cock hanging low between his legs. He Tian growls at the sight in front of him, before pulling Guan Shan’s pants and underwear down all the way to the floor. He stays down on his knees and runs his hands up from Guan Shan’s calves to his ass and grabs his cheeks firmly. Spreading Guan Shan apart with his thumbs, He Tian sighs, “You have a great ass.”

“I do?” Guan Shan questions.

But the very moment He Tian’s tongue starts stroking between his ass cheeks, lapping up his most sensitive area, Guan Shan is no longer capable of coherent thought.

“Oh fuck,” Guan Shan moans, his whole body trembling at the tension building up inside of him as He Tian’s tongue goes wild down there. It looks like He Tians tongue isn't just talented at smooth talking business associates and clients.

Guan Shan’s barely able to control his groans and whimpers when He Tian presses in deeper, his muscles clenching and loosening around his swirling tongue. He hears He Tian hum in satisfaction as he withdraws his mouth, leaving Guan Shan soaked and exposed.

Suddenly He Tian pushes his thumb inside and Guan Shan groans, his eyes shutting tight with pleasure. He can't help the string of encouragements towards He Tian, murmuring under his breath nonsensical words that trip over one another. He Tian continues to moisten him up with his tongue, and he can feel his asshole opening up more with He Tian's thumb. It's soon replaced by He Tian’s index fingers, which slides in easier and deeper than his thumb could.

“More...god, please more,” Guan Shan slurs, fingers scrambling on the desk for something to hold onto. He Tian adds his middle finger and Guan Shan whines at the stretch. With all his licking and scissoring and teasing, He Tian is making an absolute mess of Guan Shan and god, he is loving it.

“M-more,” Guan Shan pleads again. He just wants to be open enough for He Tian’s cock as soon as possible.

He Tian finally adds his ring finger and now with three fingers inside him, Guan Shan’s gasps sharply at the rough stretch, but the pain quickly subsides when He Tian finds his prostate. At which point Guan Shan has to cover his mouth from outright screaming as he lurches on top of the desk, trying to grind back onto the long fingers. He Tian lets him take over for a moment, let's Guan Shan fuck himself on his fingers, filling the loud printing room with more obscene moans and slick skin than it did before. The waves of pleasure pulse through his body with every push against his prostate, it's quickly becoming unbearable, he needs the real thing inside him. Now.

“Fuck me. I'm ready, just fucking- fuck me already,” Guan Shan begs, moaning impatiently, not caring that he sounds whiny, because he's been fantasizing and waiting for this for months, ever since he first saw He Tian at that water cooler.

He Tian pulls his fingers out slowly, and leans over him to whisper, “Take off your shirt.”

He pulls Guan Shan up and has him turn back around, facing him. With shaky fingers, Guan Shan unbuttons his work shirt. He watches He Tian crouch down again, tugging off Guan Shan's shoes, socks and pants one leg up at a time.

When he rises from the floor, He Tian claims Guan Shan’s lips in a kiss, it's urgent and rough and Guan Shan is overwhelmed once again by how much he wants He Tian. He pulls away to undo the last button on his own shirt and quickly slide it down his shoulders, but it gets stuck at his elbows where the sleeves are rolled up. A mischievous grin grows on He Tian's face and before Guan Shan can think, He Tian grabs the back of his shirt and twists it around his hand, locking Guan Shan’s arms behind his back. He takes Guan Shan’s cock with his free hand and starts stroking him.

Guan Shan gasps and squirms on the edge of the desk, but he can't escape. He doesn't want to escape. He tries to stop himself from crying out words like yes and please and god don't stop. But he does anyway, murmuring them under his breath. He Tian groans and leans in closer, keeping his hand busy. He bends his head low and Guan Shan feels the drag of He Tian's tongue licking up his neck, and then he bites down. Guan Shan's whole body shudders at the sensation, feeling his quickened pulse against He Tian’s teeth and tongue. Guan Shan’s hips swirl and push up involuntarily, trying to fuck into He Tian’s hands.

He's desperate. They both are. He Tian removes his hand from Guan Shan’s cock and lifts him up until he's sitting on the desk. He Tian steps away while Guan Shan finally pulls the rest of his shirt off.

“I have a condom in my-” Guan Shan goes to offer, but stops short when he sees He Tian pull one out of his own pants pocket from the floor. Glad to know He Tian is just as prepared for impromptu fucking as Guan Shan is.

After quickly putting the condom on and slicking himself up with spit, He Tian pushes Guan Shan down by the chest and spreads his legs up and apart. He positions himself at Guan Shan’s entrance, but then Guan Shan reaches out to stop him, “Wait, wait, wait.”

He Tian practically growls, “You want to stop now?”

“No, no, fuck no, I just,” Guan Shan huffs out of breath and a little incoherent, “...I want...against wall...I want you to fuck me...against the wall.”

There’s a quiet pause as He Tian processes his request. It's not a simple task Guan Shan knows this, supporting someone’s weight for a long time requires strength and stamina. Suddenly He Tian grabs Guan Shan’s legs and wraps them around his waist, then goes to pull Guan Shan up by his back. Guan Shan moves along with him, wrapping his arms around He Tian’s neck, while he gets lifted up with ease. Guan Shan can’t help but smile, looking at He Tian’s unstrained face and relishing in He Tian’s strength, he’ll do just fine.

He Tian walks them forward until Guan Shan feels the cold press of the nearest white wall and excitement builds in him once again, god, finally. Guan Shan helps to lift himself up enough to give He Tian the chance to position himself properly. When Guan Shan feels He Tian’s wet cock at his asshole he carefully sinks himself down. Finally. Slowly, he pushes He Tian’s cock in, inch by inch, gasping for breath as he descends and desperate to be filled. The tightness feels overwhelming and he forces himself to relax, hot breaths against He Tian’s neck.

It doesn’t take long for the pain to subside and Guan Shan gives an experimental roll of his hips. He lets out a whimper, tightening his grip around He Tian, his fingers probably leaving marks on He Tian’s back. He pulls away from He Tian’s neck to look at his face. He Tian is sweating but there’s no signs of exhaustion, in fact he looks energized, absolutely ready for Guan Shan to just say the word and he’ll start giving it to him at full force. It sends a shiver down Guan Shan’s spine. He lifts himself up and then grinds back down, panting into He Tian’s mouth. It gets easier with every slow roll of his hips on and off of He Tian’s cock.

“Okay,” Guan Shan huffs out through his endless panting. And just like that, He Tian tightens his grip on Guan Shan’s ass and start pounding into him. He sets a harsh and fast pace right from the get-go and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to hold back the volume. Guan Shan cries out, embarrassingly loud, when He Tian unexpectedly strikes his prostate. He hopes the printers are covering up this noise.

Guan Shan drags out a long ragged breath, trying to get control of himself, but then He Tian angles his hips in a way that has him hitting Guan Shan’s soft spot with every thrust. Guan Shan doesn’t stand a chance, if someone walks past the printing room, they’re doomed.

With every thrust hitting his prostate, tears fall out of Guan Shan’s eyes, overwhelmed by the pleasure, feeling He Tian’s thick cock stretching and pushing and filling him up. He’s been fantasizing about this for so long, and now that it's happening, it’s better than what he imagined. He just can’t seem to hold back any of the unholy sounds coming out of his mouth. The long string of fuck fuck He Tian fuck yes fucks just roll so easily off his tongue, letting out moans and shaky breaths between them as He Tian’s thrusts continue deeper into him.

Guan Shan risks removing one hand around He Tian’s neck and slips it around his own leaking, aching, cock and starts stroking himself in time with He Tian’s thrusts. The added sensation overwhelms Guan Shan, causing him to clench down hard onto He Tian’s cock. Which in turn, makes He Tian give out a loud moan. Guan Shan can feel the rush of his orgasm building, tilting his head until it scratches up and down the wall with every thrust.

“He Tian, I’m...I’m going-” Guan Shan gasps out, out of breath. He’s so close, he knows that if he looks at He Tian, the sweating hot mess in front of him, he’ll come right then and there. But he does anyway, he looks right into He Tian’s eyes, pupils blown and hot, so fucking hot. Guan Shan’s breath hitches and lets out a shuddering groan as he comes over both of their stomachs in messy splatters. Pulses of electric shocks run through his body, clenching all of his muscles, and suddenly he feels weightless. He can’t feel his legs, miraculously still wrapped around He Tian, but he can barely think about that right now when all he has on his mind is how fucking amazing that was.

Guan Shan sluggishly watches He Tian continue fucking him, his thrusts becoming erratic and short, grunting with every stroke. Guan Shan pulls He Tian’s face towards him and their lips collide with biting force, Guan Shan practically eating at He Tian’s tongue and bottom lip. It seems to do wonders for He Tian because he comes then with a low groan in his throat. He Tian keeps slowly thrusting through his orgasm, breathing heavily into his mouth, gripping so tightly to his ass that Guan Shan knows there will be marks on it for days.

The room smells like sex, like sweat and most importantly, like He Tian. If he wasn’t starting to feel the cramps in his legs from this position, Guan Shan would want to stay like this, savouring it until the very last moment. But they're both exhausted, so He Tian lifts him up a bit to slowly pull out, and Guan Shan moans at the loss. As soon as Guan Shan unwraps himself from around He Tian, he sinks down to the floor, no strength in his legs left. He rests his head against the wall, trying to catch his breath.

Did all that really just happen?

In distress, Guan Shan thinks that this might just have been another one of his vivid fantasies and he’ll soon wake up in bed, alone, with a boner, and still very much frustrated. But no, as he watches He Tian pull off and tie up the condom, Guan Shan knows that this wasn’t a dream because his dreams never last this long past the fucking.

He Tian manages to find a roll of paper towels from fuck-knows-where and passes it to Guan Shan to clean himself up. He takes it from him, neither of them making eye contact, and quietly wipes up the cum on his chest and throws it in the bin with all the scrap paper. Guan Shan’s legs feel like jelly, but he manages to stand up and head towards his crumbled up clothes. He finds that He Tian has already tucked himself back into his briefs and is fixing his messed up hair.

They get changed in silence and if it wasn't for the printers still going, the silence would be deafening. Both of their work suits had gotten wrinkled but at least there’s no stains to worry about. As he finishes buttoning up his shirt, Guan Shan panics at what little time they have left to talk about happened before one of them decides to leave first. The time for no talking is gone and Guan Shan really needs to know what the fuck their situation is now.

Then Guan Shan realises that once again, he’s waiting for He Tian to make the first move, and doing that in the past had gotten them nowhere. So he breaks the silence first, asking the biggest question on his mind, “What are we?”

Guan Shan cringes internally, like what is he, a teenager again?

“Whatever you want us to be,” He Tian says non-committedly as he turns to turn off both printers.

Red mulls over He Tian’s response, then shakes his head, “No, that's not going to cut it. I need to know what you want from me.”

The printers turn off, and the room falls into complete silence. He Tian isn’t looking at him. Guan Shan thinks about the start: He Tian growling out fucking finally, and he realises he might already know what that He Tian meant; “Was this always just about sex? Was the reason why you never asked me out on a date was because you didn't want that? You wanted something like this to happen instead?”

Guan Shan looks at the floor, fearing to hear the answer, that yeah, He Tian was only after his body. He Tian never asked for something more because he didn't want something more.

“You wanted me to ask you out?”

Guan Shan looks up at He Tian then because he may have sounded confused, but he didn't sound disgusted by his own question.

“Well...Yeah,” Guan Shan answers like it was the most obvious conclusion to make.

A broad smile grows on He Tian's face, “Do you want to come over to my place for dinner tonight?”

Guan Shan steps back, “...Don't say that unless you mean it.”

“No, I mean it,” He Tian steps closer, “I want to.”

His smile never wavers and he seems to be finding their situation funny with that little chuckle of his, “To be honest, Guan Shan, I didn’t think you actually liked me.”

“What?”

“I knew you were very attracted to me sure, but liked? You don't exactly make that clear.”

Guan Shan takes a moment to think back on his own behaviour around He Tian in the past, becoming self-aware. All of his grumbles and eye rolls and fuck offs and whatevers. It does send quite a message, “Oh.”

He Tian chuckles again before moving towards Guan Shan and casually slipping his arms around his waist. Standing at his full height, He Tian looks down at Guan Shan with...fondness, “You know, the only sign I got that I had any chance with you, was that you had never filed any harassment complaints against me.”

“...That's dumb.”

It's all Guan Shan can say before He Tian is leaning down and kissing him. It's slow and gentle, the softest it's ever been since he started all of this an hour ago. Guan Shan lifts his arms up around his neck and deepens the kiss. It quickly heats them up, tongues pulling each other in, their breathing getting heavier. They both pull back, stopping themselves before things get carried away.

“Right, cool,” He Tian breathes out, heading to the door. Guan Shan hears the unlock of the door and then sees He Tian turn to him, “Straight to my place after work?”

Guan Shan tries fighting fights back a smile but fails, “Sure.”

While the smile on He Tian’s face just continues to grow, “I think that's the first smile you've ever directed at me.”

“Oh, shut up,” Guan Shan steps forward and pushes at He Tian’s arm, the only form of flirting he knows how. He Tian laughs at the effort and opens the door, to which they pause to find their co-worker, Jian Yi, leaning against the wall opposite the printing room.

His arms are crossed and he initially looked pissed, but at the sight of He Tian and Guan Shan, together, shifting his eyes between the two, looking at their minor disheveledness- the biggest grin replaces his annoyance, “Well, fucking finally.”

thats it folks! im the slowest writer in the world, so im happy that i at least got one fic completed for tianshanweek :’)

#tianshan #tianshanweek #my post #my fic #19 days

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

Note

Hello how r u !! I wanted to share my sadness concerning 2 points : how u excuse yourself each time u answer bc u werent quick enough is the first one :'l please dont be sorry its ur blog and its already super cool u make the fandom live by answering deep analyses, u dont own us a quick answer ! So take ur time to answer this ask if u want to lol, its been like 1 year im stalking ur blog im probably be there 1 more year at least lol 1/?

Hello, anon!

Even though I kind of talked about the things you were wondering I still wanted to get back to you. If for nothing else than to thank you for the lovely first part of your message.

“how u excuse yourself each time u answer bc u werent quick enough”

First of all, I’m so happy to hear you’ve liked my mullings! I’m glad I have managed to contribute to the fandom in a way people find interesting and enjoyable. Analyzing and writing is pretty much the only thing I feel like I’m not that bad at, so it’s nice to know my content has reached my fellow fans.

I’ve noticed I tend to apologize for my tardiness a lot. I don’t know if it’s needed or expected but I always feel like saying something if answering has taken me a week or longer. I’m not sure how quickly people are expecting me to write these things. But perhaps I should change my thinking about that and start treating this like any other writing that can take some time.

Either way, thank you for your concern and reassurance!

“the second point is he tian in the update”

As you mentioned, I somewhat answered the topics you were wondering about in my previous ask about the latest chapter:

Tianshan and asking questions

Here are some other posts that are related to this:

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change?

Will MGS’s attitude towards HT ever change, vol. 2?

Will there ever be a Tianshan confession?

Snippets about what I hope for the future

I don’t know if you have already checked those out but I thought I would list them anyway if someone is interested.

I have been a bit surprised by how many people are somewhat hoping/expecting MGS to ask about how HT feels about him. Or something along those lines - about their relationship in general. I’m not trying to make this sound like I think people wondering about that are somehow “wrong”. As long as you can base your interpretation on the source text, I think every reading has its place in the conversation. All I’m saying is that it’s quite different from how I saw that chapter and how it could continue - if it’s going to be continued at all.

You talked about MGS being true to his tsundere side but wondered why make HT say those things about asking questions at all if we already know he’s going to be “slapped in the face” in a way. The way I see it, though, is that kind of persistent and pushy behavior is also very much in character for HT. He doesn’t really care how many times MGS rejects him or pushes him away. If there are going to be suggestions that lead their relationship to develop, I would expect them to come from HT in 9/10 cases. And most probably all of them would be resisted by annoyed MGS. But they still manage to make progress through the cracks, and I still believe that whatever feelings they keep gaining for each other are genuine. Even in MGS’s case.

It should also be noted that MGS’s spicy tsundere nature is what HT likes about him (among other things). It’s one of the things he admires in MGS and doesn’t want him to lose. Not giving in and standing up to HT is partly what makes MGS respectable in HT’s eyes. I don’t think he was really expecting MGS to agree to his suggestion about asking him about things. Nor do I think he was that disheartened by MGS shutting him down. If HT really wants to make this happen, he will keep at it or find another way.

But I do get your point about worrying about how this all makes HT feel. It must take a lot of confidence and determination to not be disheartened by MGS’s resistance. I think there have been a couple of times when the rejection has gotten to HT in one way or another (ch. 175, 297, 309):

I would say we have seen glimpses of HT’s confidence wavering. Despite knowing that he’s pushing MGS, he doesn’t want him to reject him for real and abandon him. To be honest, I would be interested in seeing something like that more from HT. And perhaps more importantly, I would love to see MGS’s reaction to HT showing insecurity. Something like that would make HT’s character and their relationship more realistic in my eyes.

But it’s a delicate balance to thread so that it won’t come across as either of them being out of character.

It seems I still found some things to say. Thank you for your question and lovely words, dear anon!

#19 days #he tian #tianshan #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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I don't know if you ever answered something similar but here's my question. Once in a while there's comments saying that he tian is forcing himself on mo, but I think they misunderstand the situation because mo is a tsundere and will always say something like "fuck off" to he tian, even if he cares. So my question is: in your opinion is tianshan still toxic like in the beginning?

Good morning, anon-san!

I have actually talked about Tianshan’s (power) dynamic quite a lot. Here are some previous answers/posts you might find interesting:

Tianshan coming a full circle

My 19 Days OTP

My favorite Tianshan moment

Physical and emotional closeness in Tianshan

Will there ever be a verbal Tianshan confession?

Future of Tianshan

He Tian’s jealousy and possessiveness

Is Tianshan toxic?

The last link on the list probably comes the closest to what you asked, but there was actually something I wish I had included. So, I’ll take a look at your question and also talk about the things I left out. There will be some repetition, though.

“comments saying that he tian is forcing himself on mo”

In my previous answer about Tianshan being toxic, I came to the conclusion that toxicity is in the eye of the beholder. What we see as being toxic depends on our own perspective and individual taste. I don’t think it’s really about misunderstanding but rather reading things through differently tinted lenses and different things appealing to different people. To each of us, the line between “toxic” and “non-toxic” is different. Our tolerance for a certain kind of behavior can differ quite a lot from other readers’ - He Tian’s character and Tianshan being an excellent example.

Tianshan is a certain type of dynamic that often appeals to a lot of people but it will always also have a fair share of anti-fans. So, I doubt there is such a thing as enough development to make the comments about Tianshan being toxic stop. At least not without changing the dynamic fundamentally in which case, it would become something else. As a Tianshan shipper, I wouldn’t want the development ever go in that direction.

However, that doesn’t mean fans should stop listening to each other. I believe people who think Tianshan is toxic can have a lot to add to the discussion. Their points are based on their original perspectives just like ours. Just because we might disagree doesn’t have to mean we can’t learn from each other.

“in your opinion is tianshan still toxic like in the beginning?”

To be honest, I never really saw Tianshan overall as toxic. To me, there isn’t some point in the story prior to which their relationship was toxic and after it was less toxic. Then again, I have quite a high tolerance for behavior that others deem toxic or problematic. I’m usually drawn to those kinds of dynamics in fiction and find them endlessly interesting instead of something that should be get rid of. More often than not, they end up being my jam and OTPs.

But I’ve always wondered what people who see “before” and “after” in Tianshan think has been the defining moment that turned their relationship for the better. Personally, I’m struggling with that since I have never really had a problem with how their dynamic works.

Instead, I see Tianshan’s journey through the development of both He Tian and Mo Guan Shan’s characters. Both of them have gone through some changes but also have some parts that won’t probably ever change and ultimately affect the overall dynamic of their relationship.

Mo Guan Shan has gradually started to trust He Tian more and warm up to him. His walls aren’t as high as in the beginning. He doesn’t want to deny their connection as fiercely anymore. And he even shows more of his “tsun” side towards He Tian. His resistance has become more about getting flustered and being increasingly conscious of He Tian than rejecting him out of resentment.

But. Mo Guan Shan will never not stand up to He Tian and strive for being independent. He will still tell He Tian to go fuck himself and ask if he’s supposed to be that familiar with him. He will always spit that He Tian can’t tell him what to do and that he can’t control him. And that is, in fact, one of the reasons why He Tian admires him. As persistent as He Tian is, Mo Guan Shan will agree to things at his own pace. That is both a warning and a promise.

He Tian, on the other hand, has come to learn Mo Guan Shan’s limits and to be more aware so he can keep earning his trust. The nature of his strength has changed. It’s gone from “you better watch your mouth because you answer to me now” to “I don’t care how long it takes but please don’t leave me”. He Tian’s role as the strong savior and someone honing down Mo Guan Shan’s personality has started to slip. We readers and Mo Guan Shan have seen more and more of his weak moments, fears, and insecurities. He has started to feel safe and secure with Mo Guan Shan. And I suppose all of that is where the usual arguments about the development from “toxic” to “less toxic” stem from.

But. He Tian will never not be pushy and dominant. Even if he doesn’t want Mo Guan Shan to become meek and agreeable, he still won’t let his objections and resistance discourage his affections. He will never be the type that asks for permission for everything. Or even every other thing. He will always keep his arm hooked around Mo Guan Shan’s shoulders despite how much he keeps struggling.

You could see all of that through the lenses of “toxic” but also as two characters developing together. It can be a very subtle difference in perspective, but I think it’s a rather important one.

Some time ago, OldXian gave us part 3 of the Christmas special that takes place in the future. I saw readers being somewhat disappointed that Tianshan hadn’t developed as much as or in the direction they had wished. These two panels especially seemed to dampen the mood a little (ch. 313):

It didn’t seem like they had grown much closer. However, I would say their future relationship is pretty much as I expected it to be. Mo Guan Shan was quick to say no as a knee-jerk reaction but kind of letting He Tian get away with things. He wasn’t putting up quite as fierce of a fight as he would have in the past. He Tian, on the other hand, was still physically dominant and mischevious and yet affectionate. It almost seemed like he was craving for physical closeness.

If you take into account the things I think are fundamental about the characters and will never go away in their relationship, I think the level of development might make more sense. I doubt Mo Guan Shan will ever be honest or open about his feelings towards He Tian. But he will grant us little pieces of subtle, unexpected affection here and there. Little hints that he doesn’t mind He Tian’s company as much as he claims. And in return, He Tian will keep pushing because he knows he’s not truly making Mo Guan Shan do something he really doesn’t want to. But that dynamic is still toxic in the people’s eyes who have always thought so.

Moments that have bothered me

As much as I ship Tianshan, there have been a few moments in their dynamic and development that I have been bothered by. But again, I don’t really see them as being toxic but rather as learning curves of their relationship.

The first kiss (ch. 174):

I have never found this kiss hot or sexy. Actually, He Tian sticking his tongue out like that and shoving it in Mo Guan Shan’s mouth always freaks me out a little. I’m frankly turned off by it. But it served as an important lesson. And I don’t think it made He Tian toxic. He hadn’t meant the kiss the way Mo Guan Shan took it. He was genuinely confused by Mo Guan Shan’s reaction and realized he had crossed a line with him.

Let’s make a run for it (ch. 273):

I know this was a rather minor moment, but the level of disregard by He Tian at the moment has always annoyed me. Mo Guan Shan has responsibilities he’s getting paid for, so he can’t just up and leave according to He Tian’s whims. The world doesn’t work that way. But his life has always been vastly different from Mo Guan Shan’s, so it’s good he’s exposed to different ways of life.

He Tian and people who aren’t Mo Guan Shan (ch. 295):

I doubt He Tian really pays attention to the group around Mo Guan Shan or cares about them. I think that also means he wouldn’t hesitate to be an ass to them if he’s not feeling particularly nice or thinks they’re getting in the way. That trait is what I have always disagreed the most with the thug way of life. Not really caring about people who don’t directly concern you and thinking it’s okay to be over the top offensive if someone happens to wrong you somehow. In society, you don’t have the right to take matters into your own hands and become the judge. And just because He Tian happens to care about Mo Guan Shan the most, it doesn’t entitle him to treat others badly or bark orders like they don’t have a choice but to submit.

I’m not in a good mood (ch. 295):

Kind of a continuation of the previous one. I think this was the most frustrated I have been with He Tian. I know what ultimately made him behave that way and it made sense, but for a while, I was annoyed because it seemed He Tian had regressed back to his old ways. Like dude, the world does not revolve around your moods. Other people have feelings, too. The fact that He Tian doesn’t bow down to anyone is one of my favorite things about him, but the lack of humility can also get a bit annoying at times. He Tian is quite physical when it comes to showing his feelings but I hope he will keep getting better at using his words, too. Luckily, Mo Guan Shan is someone who can take him at his worst.

I’m not trying to make it sound like people who see Tianshan as toxic are somehow wrong or can’t make valid points. As you noticed, even I’ve had certain moments I didn’t agree with. But perhaps because crying “toxic” is so common in fandoms these days and it’s used as a weapon to diss other’s taste in fictional relationships, I somewhat prefer to distance myself from that particular way of looking at things. He Tian and Tianshan most certainly aren’t flawless, but if you take a step back you come to realize toxicity is a surprisingly narrow perspective. It leaves out the characters as a whole by pointing at just certain traits and removing them from their context.

Thank you for your question, dear anon-san!

#tianshan #19 days #He Tian #mo guan shan #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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Hi! I really loooove your analysis, I think it helps me enjoy the manhua better and gives me something to think about . So, I wanted to ask you about Zhanyi, this middle school plot is in the past and in the firsts panels xixi is violent, when he used to be soft. I think maybe he's guarded, since the dissappearence of jian yi he was probably hurt and lonely. What do you think about their relationship in the future? Are they going to be okay? I would really like your thoughts on this.

Good morning, dear nightia-san!

“I really loooove your analysis, I think it helps me enjoy the manhua better and gives me something to think about .”

I’m very glad and humbled to hear that. Thank you! It’s also a two-way street. People asking these questions give me something to think about and help me find new aspects in the comic as well. Overall, I think comparing notes is always desirable and valuable in fandoms, so I’m glad I have managed to contribute to that.

“in the firsts panels xixi is violent, when he used to be soft. I think maybe he’s guarded, since the dissappearence of jian yi he was probably hurt and lonely.”

For the purpose of this question, I will be using Mangago as a source when referencing chapters and their numbers. People use different sites and apps to read 19 Days but I think Mangago is the best and easiest to find all the chapters compared to other places.

It’s a bit unclear to me what do you mean by “first panels”. I don’t know if you were aware, but 19 Days debuted as a one shot (ch. 1) in a compilation publication called 19天. It featured 19 different artists including OldXian, and that’s where the title came from. For some reason, 19 Days also became the title of OX’s comic later on.

Do you mean that one shot as the first panels? Personally, I wouldn’t really count them as the beginning of the comic we’re reading these days. It was published years ago (according to Google, in 2013) and was originally meant as a one shot. To expect those exact versions of the characters to have much to do with the ones of the present day could be reaching too much.

Overall, it’s difficult to say anything concrete about the earliest chapters. A lot of them were respective illustrations or short gag chapters with only a couple of panels without much of an overarching plot. I would say the story officially begins in ch. 22 but even then the story is often interrupted by gag chapters that don’t have anything to do with the actual story. I actually think you could take the beginning even later than that, to ch. 43 in which Jian Yi shows up at Zhan Zheng Xi’s door beaten up and a bit later ZZX tells us how JY disappeared in high school.

Whatever your take happens to be, I think one thing is clear: continuity hasn’t really been 19 Days’ strongest suit from the beginning because of its nature as a publication. I think that’s very important to keep in mind when going back to the early chapters and trying to build overarching character development. You risk reading too much into things if you’re expecting all the details to be connected.

About the violence in general, though, I don’t think it’s that much different from what has always been typical to ZZX’s character, the Zhanyi dynamics and slapstick-type of humor of the comic. I guess it used to be a touch more “graphic” in the early chapters (ch. 1, 4-5, 9-13, 23-24, 29, 30-31, and 34):

However, I never saw those as ZZX being angry because JY left him and he was lonely, worried, and hurt. I get that feeling but personally think holding that kind of “grudge” or being guarded wouldn’t be typical to ZZX. He would be angry but that would be because of relief and because he had been so scared (ch. 198):

After that, he would go back to protecting JY even more fiercely and become closer to him.

The physical violence of the early chapters is very much comic relief in my eyes. Not to mention, many of those chapters were meant as little gags and not connected to the overall story. Even ZZX kicking JY in the very first chapter I don’t see from the perspective you suggested but mere humor very typical to 19 Days’ style.

“What do you think about their relationship in the future? Are they going to be okay?”

In short, I think they will be perfectly fine in the future. The kidnap will be a hiccup, but it’s obvious it won’t last forever and they will get over it.

I mean, let’s not forget we’re not completely in the dark about it. Not only the early chapters (prior to ch. 51) we have also gotten future-related specials and official illustrations just like with Tianshan. And ZZX and JY seem to be doing just fine in those. In fact, it seems ZZX keeps getting more and more comfortable with their new kind of relationship in the future (ch. 224 and 271):

Also, again, as you might notice those future-related chapters are quite different from the ones we got when the comic was just starting out. If I had to draw conclusions about their future, I would much rather base them on those two chapters more recent ones (and the hot springs specials) than the first chapters when I doubt the comic had as clear of a direction as it has these days. The only thing I would probably take from the early chapters is that JY spends a lot of time at ZZX’s place and he’s working hard to catch up to him. And if the early illustrations are anything to go by, their physical interaction is charged in a different way than just best friends.

As to having something in general to say about future Zhanyi… it’s a bit difficult. As a couple, they don’t tickle my headcanon bone quite the same way Tianshan does. But let’s see if I’ll get any nibbles:

JY is pretty much one of the students ZZX hangs out with. The only difference is, he’s in high school but he doesn’t spend time with his classmates.

JY’s classmates are jealous and envious that JY can go drinking and be around university students. And knowing JY, he can’t help but brag about it a little.

For once, JY is the cool kid in his class. He’s older and (I can’t believe I’m saying this) also more mature. He likes to give a lot of advice that he thinks the rascal youngsters need.

The girls in ZZX’s class adore JY, and it kind of bothers ZZX. He prays the day never comes when JY catches him being annoyed by it because he would definitely take advantage of it.

JY likes that to other people it looks like he and ZZX are living together. He’s in no rush to correct them, either.

ZZX still hasn’t initiated a kiss or much of the affection between them. He knows JY wants them to be more intimate but he’s not ready yet. Sometimes he feels bad for making JY wait, especially when he gets that look of rejection on his face.

JY doesn’t mind they’re making such slow progress. I mean, he minds but it’s also okay. He can feel secure and in peace because he knows ZZX loves him back. It’s not unrequited anymore, and he can be honest about his feelings.

Still, sometimes he pushes too much and too fast and he always feels bad about it afterwards. The last thing he wants is for ZZX to be disgusted by JY’s affections. At the same time, though, he’s still scared of that very thing and kind of wants to push ZZX to find out and not stress about it anymore. He knows ZZX loves him back, but still…

Does JY still have to deal with the underworld, Qiu and He Cheng? What about his father and mother? I have no idea.

Sometimes JY has nightmares, and they freak ZZX out a lot. Sometimes JY cries and talks in his sleep but ZZX can never make out what he’s saying.

ZZX is scared that the kidnapping and whatever happened during that time has caused JY traumas. Because sometimes he freaks out about things that didn’t use to bother him (loud sudden noises or waking up in the bed alone). JY’s story about how he spent the years being apart changes a little each time he talks about it.

Whenever JY is late from meeting up with him, ZZX gets a mini panic attack.

JY’s mother is abroad, and JY misses her a lot. She sends postcards and they’re always from different places. ZZX dreads the day when she says JY has to come with her.

I hope my answer gives you some food for thought. Thank you for your question!

#19 days #zhanyi #Jian Yi #Zhan zheng xi #answered ask

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 5 years

Text

I will start this analysis by pushing the pause button right here before we actually get to the part everyone knows comes next. This was such a big moment in He Tian and Mo Guan Shan’s relationship that it needs to be taken a closer look at. To truly grasp the significance of it, we need to rewind quite a bit chapter-wise.

For the first time, the earrings appear in ch. 200 and begin their story with this line:

That panel has always interested me, for some reason. It’s a weird way to give someone a gift but fits HT’s character perfectly. It’s domineering and yet almost challenging. The fact the HT is in the more submissive position - looking up at MGS standing in front of him - doesn’t seem to lessen his dominance one bit. Actually, he looks even more threatening and sinister like that. But what’s even more interesting about this opening is that it essentially requires trust from MGS’s part. Something I believe HT hadn’t gained yet at that point.

When MGS refuses and resists, as expected, HT in his typical unceremonious way manhandles him and forces the earrings on MGS. He then proceeds to instruct MGS to come find him next Saturday wearing them.

I have always wondered what was so special about MGS wearing the earrings to work. They didn’t seem to serve any particular purpose when MGS was working but yet HT insisted on it. My first thought was that they somehow made MGS fit in better at the photography studio that had some kind of fashion shooting going on but that explanation didn’t feel very likely. I’m sure it wouldn’t have mattered that much what MGS was wearing.

I still don’t fully understand why HT was being so persistent but I think I have some inkling of an idea. When I was writing my post about Tianshan, it got me thinking about why HT got interested in MGS in the first place. He wanted to distance himself from the ideals he had been raised by but despised and kind of reinvent himself. MGS became a project of sorts to him; someone he could make into “an upstanding person”.

Offering MGS chances to work and earn money without making him owe HT anything was one way to ensure MGS didn’t ruin his future because he was desperate and didn’t have the same opportunities as others. Working would also help “hone down his personality”. He would actually become “somebody” - a respectable member of society.

It’s difficult to explain where the earrings come to play in all that but when HT looked at MGS working...

...it kind of made me feel like he was proud of his “creation”. In a way, the earrings made MGS his but not in a possessive way.

How to put this... 🤔 Okay, let’s imagine you and your significant other are attending some kind of work-related formal event. They’re talking with their peers and totally kicking ass professionally, and you’re watching them from the sidelines, being so proud of them. Then you notice they’re wearing something you had given them and your heart gives a little flutter. It’s a connection between you and that amazing person over there. Am I the only one who would have that feeling?

I’m not saying HT felt quite like that but perhaps something similar. Maybe HT’s heart fluttered a little. I imagine it hadn’t been often he had a connection like with someone he thought was respectable and admired.

After that, we don’t see MGS wearing earrings apart from the Christmas and Valentine’s specials and that commercial chapter. He didn’t seem to wear any even out of school, and to be honest, I didn’t think much of it. His piercings didn’t come up again until ch. 282.

I’m sure most of us assumed MGS had gotten his ears pierced because he was a big bad delinquent and appearances matter in that line of work. I certainly didn’t expect HT’s innocent question to reveal such a violent and traumatic backstory.

Obviously, HT didn’t know how exactly MGS had gotten his ears pierced but could probably guess by MGS’s reaction and knowing SL it wasn’t a pleasant memory. Someone had hurt MGS - given him a more or less permanent mark - and there was nothing HT could do about it anymore. But even more pressingly, that someone was still lurking around and had access to MGS. And SL seemed to be on the move again (the Coke incident).

Would make anyone of us uneasy, right?

This panel somewhat stirred the fandom since fans seemed to interpret it differently. Some read it as HT being jealous and possessive while others saw it as him protecting MGS. Interestingly, the differences seemed to stem from the same kind of disagreement as to whether or not SL is so hung up on MGS because he’s jealous in a romantic sense. People who read it as jealousy and possessiveness kind of jumped straight to the strongest emotion.

And even though I disagree with the interpretation of SL being in love with MGS, my honest initial reading of that panel leaned towards HT being possessive (not jealous, though). I don’t think it’d be that unheard of in HT’s case and I was somewhat surprised some readers seemed to reject that interpretation so strongly.

I think HT’s objective with the earrings was to protect MGS and then he went about it in his usual overbearing way. @casually-inlove mentioned in her ask that the earrings were a sign to SL that MGS was under HT’s protection. I wholeheartedly agree with that notion but don’t think we can completely exclude the possessive undertones of that reading, especially when it comes to HT. To me, HT’s “back off” also implies “he belongs to me”. I don’t think HT needs to worry about SL as a romantic rival, but the earrings would certainly show MGS’s connection to HT quite publicly but also paradoxically in an intimate way.

In short, I see both interpretations.

I also agree with @casually-inlove ‘s idea about HT wanting to empower MGS by showing SL that MGS was over the incident by wearing something new and what he actually wanted over the old scars. I don’t know if HT was thinking it quite that deeply in the heat of the moment, but why not. It would definitely show SL’s reign had ended mentally, too, and MGS was his own person. But by doing so HT is essentially tightening MGS’s connection to himself. He wants MGS to be independent of people like SL but surely also wishes to become the one MGS feels like he can rely on.

I think it’s also evident in MGS’s actions that "control” has something to do with the piercings even in HT’s case which ultimately makes this moment so groundbreaking. SL had once invaded his bodily integrity in a quite violent and traumatic way. He had been made to submit and the holes in his flesh were a permanent reminder of it. Being under SL’s “protection” had most certainly driven his dislike of being in debt to or depending on anyone.

It had taken a good while for MGS to even begin to trust that HT wouldn’t take advantage of him like that. He had learned not to trust anyone, and it went double for people like HT, but after learning HT is not the same, he’s willing to have this sort of connection with him. He’s willing to receive something - in fact, asking for something - without demanding that he repays HT somehow. It’s a gift, and nothing is expected out of him in return. (Except that he can’t apparently take them off...Which admittedly can be taken figuratively but I think also carries that undertone of control and possessiveness, if in a vastly more positive sense than with SL.)

And finally, we return to where we left off. Let’s press that play button again.

What I love most about this moment is how confident MGS is which we haven’t really seen until now. He’s not freaking out or overreacting but actually calmly faces HT head-on. The way the chapter was constructed with the backstory in the middle while MGS touches his earlobe suggests he contemplated carefully before asking HT for the studs. And came to the conclusion that he wants that part of his body to belong to someone again. And we’ve seen in the special chapters that take place in the future, this kind of symbol wasn’t trivial to MGS or something he asked on impulse.

Now, do I think MGS asking for the studs was his way of answering and returning HT's feelings? No. I think it's way too early to throw words like "love" and "confessing" around, especially for MGS. We’ve recently just graduated from “punching and cursing HT” to “punching and cursing HT while furiously blushing”. I’m sure MGS has become conscious of HT in a new way but let’s not call it “love” just yet. But he's accepted him as someone who he'd normally hate but has actually learned to be on his side.

30 day 19 Days challenge

#30 day 19 days challenge #tianshan #He Tian #mo guan shan #19 days #she li

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midotakaism · 5 years

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Hi I just wanted to say I love your posts and rambles/screaming/crying about 19 days and tianshan (because, like same, I could cry I love them so much),, anyway uhhh, if you had to pick your number 1 most fave tianshan moment (artwork/specials as well as regular chapters) what would it be? I know this is gonna be a huge can of worms and I'm here for it

first of all – before i proceed to completely lose it over your question [nervous laugh] – i just really wanted to thank you for the lovely message: im very glad that you enjoy my messy blabbering, knowing that someone likes them always makes me so happy, and if you ever need a companion to cry over tianshan and how much you love them… [shares blanket, cookies and box of tissues] im always here for that!!

as for the other part of your message, YOUR HONOR, I WANT THE RECORDS TO SHOW THAT THE ENQUIRER KNEW THAT TRYING TO ANSWERING THIS QUESTION WOULD DEVASTATE ME AND ASKED IT ANYWAY, AND ALSO THAT I LOVE ALL TIANSHAN MOMENTS BUT I WAS FORCED TO PICK. and also that i cheated just a little bit, because while in the end i considered normal and special chapters together, i kept the official arts as a separated thing since i feel like it’s hard to compare them to a full comic strip, but that’s a minor detail

so this question was… painful, to say the least, but i tried my best to answer it, and after thinking hard about it, and going back to reread all the tianshan chapters, and trying to make a list of my favorite moments, failing, trying again, going by process of elimination, having an existential crisis or two while doing it, i came to the conclusion that if i really really really really reeeeaaally had to choose my number 1 tianshan moment until now, that would probably be guan shan asking he tian to buy him the pair of pure black studs in chapter 283 and then the entirety of chapter 284 (IT’S AN ENTIRE SCENE SO IT COUNTS AS ONE MOMENT DON’T ARGUE WITH ME)

(more blabbering under the cut because YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS)

my original intention was actually to show my favorite moment by putting the corresponding panel here so that this answer wouldn’t be just a huge block of text as usual, but the reason i ended up picking that whole scene as my favorite was also because i couldn’t choose just a single panel: at first i wanted to put guan shan asking for the earrings along with the look of surprise on he tian’s face, BUT ALSO HE TIAN HUGGING HIM AND BITING HIS NECK AND DRAGGING HIM TO GO BUY THE STUDS AND THEN HE TIAN ASKING GUAN SHAN IF HE WAS SCARED AND GUAN SHAN REPLYING HE IS NOT WITH THAT PANEL OF THEIR HANDS REACHING FOR EACH OTHER I JUST I COULDN’T OKAY I COULDN’T not to be dramatic but if i could print this entire chapter on a duvet cover and wrap myself in it like a cocoon and was socially acceptable to go outside like that i would

i mentioned before how important this moment is for guan shan as a character, but it’s also so incredibly important for tianshan as a ship: until this chapter, we always saw he tian being the one to approach and search for guan shan, but this time is guan shan that on his own free will, without being prompted, goes looking for he tian, and not only that, but for the first time he actually asks he tian for something, and that is so damn HUGE i don’t even know where to start to properly convey that

guan shan has never asked anything to anyone, multiple times he has refused people giving him stuff because he didn’t want to owe them, and all of this because of his experience with she li that taught him that people always have an ulterior motive for helping you out, they always want something back from you and never do it for free. guan shan asking he tian to get him something is guan shan trusting he tian like he probably never did anyone else before, trusting that he tian is different from what guan shan himself first believed of him, trusting that he tian won’t expect anything in return: guan shan is actually entrusting himself to he tian and saying ‘i believe you won’t hurt and take advantage o me like others did before’ and i really could cry at how much this means for them. the end of the chapter, when guan shan says he is not scared and reaches out to grab he tian’s extended hand to go skip with him, is yet another confirmation of all of this (catch me singing a whole new world from aladdin every time i think about this moment)

ALSO DON’T EVEN LET ME START ON HE TIAN’S REACTION no matter how many times i reread that chapter it never fails to wind me because he tian KNOWS how much it means that guan shan asked him something, he knows that’s guan shan trusting him and taking a step towards him, which is why he tian’s surprise and happiness are so overwhelming for something that at a first glance seems so small but it’s actually not (and guan shan blushing and smacking he tian but not overreacting as much as other times when he tian HUGGED HIM AND BIT HIS NECK?????? IM ABOUT TO BUST A LUNG THANKS)

so yeah, i just really love this moment and especially chapter 284 with my whole heart, while for official arts (which im gonna cover very quickly because this is already way too long, im so sorry) i actually had, if possible, even an harder time to pick my favorite, and the fact that old xian dropped a new one with future tianshan looking so domestic and intimate did not help me AT ALL

im still far from being convinced about my choice, i keep looking at this new one, at the bathtub one, and at the cut off kiss in a frenzy and panicking because I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH, but again, if i really REALLY had to pick, i’d probably go with the bathtub one, if only because it was the first tianshan official art we’ve ever gotten and i still remember just how much the entire fandom lost it when old xian dropped it. im also still so damn fond of it to this day, i just love the intimacy in it and how they are looking at each other so intensely, how they are on the same level and guan shan’s hand is hanging over the tub and touching the water, with that splash of red color in the origami boat and the “wait for them to grow up, there will definitely be a day” caption that goes with it IT STILL MAKES ME SCREAM AS IF I WERE SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME

AND OKAY THAT’S IT. IM DONE. IM SHUTTING UP. I SUBMIT MYSELF TO THE JUDGEMENT OF THE COURT AND IN THE MEAN TIME I’LL GO REREAD ALL THE TIANSHAN CHAPTERS AGAIN AND GIVE THEM ALL THE LOVE THEY DESERVE

#19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #mathgeek101 #DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNLEASHED #well to be fair this would have been a bit shorter if i wrote it more seriously #should have also probably explained better the reason why i picked what i picked but this was painful enough #ANYWAY thank you so much again for the sweet message and the question even if it made me lose years of life #sometimes i feel like im being very annoying so im happy if you enjoy my posts #......well idk if you'll still like them after this mess but you know #thank you again!!#i hope you're gonna have a wonderful day!!!#❤️❤️❤️#ask

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