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#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here
polaraffect · 23 days
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venting in the tags yippeee
#damien.txt#gender talk time 🤪✌️#....................................................................................#screaming crying throwing up rolling around on the ground <- said completely deadpan#uhm. as always. thinking abt gender. and questioning. my whole life. bc. i cant stop doing that#soooooo like. my big thing. abt gender. is as much as im like. he/they-ing it here and irl. its kind of... complicated?#as ive gone on ive realized more and more that i dont. really. feeling Anything towards those pronouns#neither do i she/her. or they/them.#and just generally the whole Concepts of male/female? so like. im always like hmm. whats happening here#and other completely incoherent statements djbdhdbf sorrry anyways#i keep having these moments where im like. hmm. maybe. im leaning too hard into the masc. maybe i am not. he at all.#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me#as 'he'. and as someone who wears mostly masc clothing and generally attempts to present masc#and like. i bought a skirt a while ago and i was trying it on today and i was like oh. wait.#and before u @ me i KNOW!! clothing does not equal gender!! but there was just something abt it#and recently (the past like. year lmao) ive really been contemplating like. what i actually want out of transitioning or whatever#bc like. increasingly its become more obvious how... fucking difficult that is.#and the more i think abt it the more im like. bro its not even worth it for me? tbh? also like. sometimes i look in the mirror and am like#hmm. this does not feel better than it did when i hadnt transitioned at all. yknow?#like the last 10+ years ive been existing in this state w my body where im basically just. tolerating it. ignoring it. even.#and that hasn't... changed. after t. and ik thats not like the fix-all but its got me wondering if some of it/a lot of it#is just body dysmorphia? rather than dysphoria? bc like. god knows i have that too.#and just. idk. i feel Really Really anti-gender most of the time. would in fact. not like to be conceived of at all.#but on some level im trying to think abt it practically bc if that ^ is my thoughts on gender fr. i have to decide whats worth it#and like. i miss cool clothes. god men's clothing is so fucking boring. holy fuck.#and AGAIN i KNOW gender doesnt equal clothes but also like. i am Aware to the wider world it still works like that#and truly if i rocked up to work/class in a skirt everyone would be like What The Fuck#and i kind of want to!! but im also scared of that reaction lol#AHHHH why must gender be so complicated. i want to lay on the floor#lol there was literally more but i ran out of tags LMAOO sorry everyone. gender complicated. peace ✌️
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nochu-libre · 5 years
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please don’t reblog
ok like I really didn’t want to write this essay but I’m just itching to say this and have been holding it in for a very long time haha. BIG DISCLAIMER is that im not defending them but i want people to understand why exactly they watch their idols commit these acts time and time again. please understand i am not defending but merely helping you guys see it from a different point of view. again not excusing their behaviour. understand??? ok.
okay so people from the west are always like but you should know by now!!! doing a is racist or doing b is racist. it’s 2019!!!
but the question is why? if I am a person from Korea, a monoethnic, racially homogeneous country (less than 5% are non-korean and top two nationalities are chinese and vietnamese which are u kno same skin colour basically), why would I personally take the time to know that or more importantly, how? I do not see people who are different from me (skin colour wise and also general culture) on a daily basis, I do not see their struggles on the news. I do not know these struggles exist at all. woke tweets/twitter threads/discourse on Twitter don’t reach me because 1 I most probably do not know English remotely well enough to understand it and 2 who is gonna retweet English stuff on my tl anyway. moreover, their news source is like naver articles and im v sure naver aren’t talking about this stuff. also big news outlets like vox or vice that typically talk about things like this certainly don’t have their articles translated in korean so I ask again, how?
now I won’t speak for people who have been called out on doing blackface and then apologizing and saying they understand only for them to turn around and do something racist again but for the general population I can promise you that they watched the news of trudeau getting called out for his blackface pics a while back and a lot of people in Asia went … that’s racist? yeah, most people didn’t know it was. and here’s where I want to say that it comes down to ignorance.
I’ll be very honest and say that I didn’t know blackface was a problem until I came to America to study. I didn’t know that the n word was derogatory until I was maybe 16. my country didn’t even censor the word when it was on radio until around 2013. Africans are few and far between in east Asian countries therefore there aren’t any people in our local population to tell us like hey that’s wrong. we learn what we learn about these things through tv & movies (which tbh doesn’t do a great job anyway and i’m sure you’d agree) and honestly you will be shocked to know how many people living in Asia still do not know that the n word is a derogatory term. I promise you that if you ask them they’ll tell you they think the word means bro/dude/homie and nothing else. i learned what i learned about the n word through movies and i know y’all are gonna laugh but i learned from things like django unchained, the help and etc. maybe learnt it from when a celebrity who got called out for using it. so i think you’ll understand now. if anything i blame their PR person for not educating them because surely they see the comments whenever they get into one of these situations.
but regarding the general population, they say we should know about slavery and thus how the n word came about because white Americans used it as a slur in that time and it still continues to this day. but to them I want to say how many of you listen to kpop and know even a sliver of korean history? how about the big one, the history between Korea and Japan? yeah I don’t think many do know or even if you do it’s barely surface level. (i’m talking in general, i know one or two of you are probs v smart and know all of this) maybe they’ll argue we should know about america and their struggles because they’re a powerful country, an economic powerhouse and to that I say what about China which is obviously an economic powerhouse of their own. do you know anything about China;s history or the country in general other than a lot of things are made there??? ye I’m pretty sure the answer is going to be no. sometimes i understand people going like wait how can you not know but then again if you put things into perspective, you’ll then understand why they don’t know. when you’re from your country, your news is the biggest news. likewise, in my country my country’s news is the biggest news too. we have our own problems and issues too that seem like the biggest things to us. that’s not to say american racial issues are not important but it’s just in the scale of things, maybe not as important as the immediate issues someone is facing. it’s like if i were asking an american to care about the korea vs japan thing. you wont because you’re not there, you know? or palestine vs israel, the racial or rather religion issue, war, killing, land issue (im oversimplifying the issue but i’m sure you get my point). again, NOT DEFENDING but put yourself in our shoes and you’ll see why some people don’t know it’s an issue even if it’s 2019.
so then comes the issue of cultural appropriation. i would like to say that it is a western concept or rather moral belief and teaching. I don’t think it exists in the east asian part of the world because they are again largely monoethnic/racially homogenous countries. see when you go to Korea and Japan they don’t mind if you wear the hanbok or kimono. in fact they encourage it lol like in korea you get free entrance to gyeongbukgong palace if you’re in traditional wear. thus it’s always odd to them when Asian Americans get upset over things like a white person wearing their traditional wear. (again not dismissing or dictating how Asian Americans should feel but merely trying to explain the difference in mindset.) take the white girl who wore a cheong sam/qi pao aka Chinese traditional wear to prom in America… Asian Americans got really upset meanwhile people in China were like yeah that’s cool that she chose to wear it!!! and that’s because we didn’t grow up in America and we didn’t get made fun of when we wore our traditional costume or when we brought our food to school. Thus, the concept of cultural appropriation is hard to grasp in that part of the world. So when we see other people wearing our stuff we’re like huh that’s nice/cute.
Even multicultural and multiracial countries like Malaysia and Singapore, we often wear each other’s traditional costume for celebrations and weddings and sometimes just for no reason. It’s normal to us so to this day cultural appropriation remains a very foreign concept. Mostly because we don’t know what it’s like to be made fun of for simply being us. So for us it’s like we see something we like, we wear it. it’s never been a problem so we never think to ask the question: should I not be wearing this? they say we should know that cornrows, gel twists and etc. belong to the black community and they are discriminated against when they have it but when white people have it, it’s okay but again… i’m not in your country, i don’t see your struggles, so therefore, i don’t know. i think the problem is people say like hey it’s racist, it’s cultural appropriation and that’s usually the final message that reaches them and never really the explanation. so they’re like hmm they say it’s racist but i don’t really understand why so i don’t see why it’s wrong and i’m going to keep doing it. AGAIN, not defending, just explaining. (also, for some reason cornrows are a thing to get on beaches in thailand. don’t know why… it’s just a thing and that’s honestly where i’ve always seen cornrows so for a very long time i didn’t know it was wrong to do it? still struggle with it too because my experience with cornrows has nothing to do with african americans, you know?) and this could be the same for many people. again, just explaining, not trying to say it isn’t wrong.
lastly, conservatism. yes namjoon speaks of things like gender identities and feminism and yoongi wanted the bt21 characters to be gender neutral and he hinted at how he doesn’t care about gender. ok but that’s two out of 7 of them. and then take the whole population. is lgbt frequently represented in their media? no. is marriage between lgbt partners legally recognized? no. does the average korean know what pansexual, asexual, gender fluid and so on means? probably not. they’re also still fighting feminism in Korea. ask an average guy what they think about feminism and you’ll get disgruntled moans. they don’t even see why there should be a female only carriage on their subway system. they think it’s a waste. even after the whole stabbing case in gangnam. and the prevalent problem korea has with hidden cameras and girls getting recorded unknowingly when they’re having sex. e.g: the burning sun scandal which of course had to do with WAY MORE than just that. then again korea has some sort of law where they can put a man in jail if they look at them in a way (probably like sexually e.g: ogling) or so my friends tell me. my korean guy friends were complaining about it, and i think it’s in a larger context of workplace harassment but yes that’s what they took away from it, which is telling of what they think about the feminism issue. also just ask the females in korean society how sometimes their brother is preferred over them. East asian cultures typically prefer males over females because the son will pass on the family name. the son will be the breadwinner etc etc etc. korea struggles with workplace equality too.
hierarchy is a big thing in Korea. age matters. just one year older and you have to use honorifics. don’t use them and they might actually physically fight you. if the older person serves you a drink, you must turn to your side before you drink from the glass. especially in workplaces if the older person says you’re wrong, then you’re wrong. arguing is discouraged. and it’s a very famous case but Korea airlines used to be one of the worst performing airlines (meaning there were a lot of crashes) and it was for this very reason. because of the cockpit gradient, meaning co-pilots felt they couldn’t tell their pilots something was wrong because the pilots are more senior thus they couldn’t argue. Google it.
in Korea filial piety is very strong. what your parents say is very important. disobeying them is almost like asking to be disowned. education is big. getting into SKY is the dream. largely unattainable if you are not the cream of the crop but there’s a loophole. if your kid studies overseas for 12 years, when they come back, it’s easier to get into SKY or uni in general. so for 12 years usually the mother and the children go to countries like Malaysia and send their kids to school there just so they can get into a university more easily. imagine that. parents willing to spend 12 years of their lives outside of their home country just so their kid can get into a good uni. and they want to go to SKY to end up in big firms like Samsung and the like. it’s why people do literally anything to get into SKY. and yes that includes going for extra classes until like 12 am. doesn’t matter if you don’t wanna study. you just gotta do it. a lot of pressure in korean society.
Koreans as a society are very herd-like. they all mostly think and dress and wear makeup the same. I know it sounds like I’m generalizing but if you were in Korea 2 winters ago literally almost everyone was wearing a long black puffer winter jacket. the kind that went to your ankles. and when I say almost everyone, I really mean it. there are pictures of it and even videos. and with a lot of trends it’s the same. the straight eyebrow trend. the pink eyeshadow trend. the permed hair trend for guys. Asian societies are taught to blend in rather than stand out. Americans for example reward individualism. that’s not really the case in Asia. in school a good student is a quiet student. not the outspoken student. again herd mentality isn’t exactly exclusive to korea and i dont know how to explain it but it’s quite next level in korea haha. if you’ve lived there or you know korean people, you know what i’m talking about.
then there’s the sogaeting trend… aka the blind date thing… anyway you gotta be a part of it when you’re in college. when in college it’s expected of you to find someone to date. everyone wants to be cc aka campus couple which is actual korean slang. feelsbad if you’re single. on the topic of dating, a lot of people especially older gen don’t like it when you date someone who isn’t korean. even those in our gen also. i’ve also heard it’s hard to make true friends in korea like they’ll always be surface friends but nothing more. i’ve heard this from friends who are fluent in korean too so it’s not really the language barrier. maybe cultural? sometimes they’re ignorant towards other cultures like if you’re from SEA and they haven’t been there before they’ll ask if they live on trees in the country you're from. this is a true story, happened many times.
also most college dorms have curfews and men and women live in separate buildings. and have you ever watched korean dramas and stopped to wonder why hugging is always such an omg moment? can you ever imagine a western rom com series and the cliffhanger of the episode is that they hugged? y'all would laugh. but that’s just what it’s like in Korea. girls and guys dont typically hug unless they’re dating. will never forget my korean friend bringing her other korean friends to their first ‘American’ party (meaning all the past parties they were at, there were only koreans in attendance) and they saw us hugging our guy friends and they’re like wait you guys aren’t dating and y'all hug??? and then they said 와 외국인 스타일… aka wow foreigner style. yes this isn’t everyone but it’s mostly everyone. that’s why celebs don’t hug each other because it’s not normal for them and ya their fan base would literally have an aneurysm. but u kno guys and guys are ok and girls and girls are ok. typically very touchy towards same gender. not sure why lol. also one night stands are also 외국인 스타일. and tattoos are sort of illegal. don’t get me started on drugs. you saw what happened with TOP. to them WEED = BAD. they’re like not weed NOOOO. it took them so long to allow it for medical use. yeah and abortion is a no. lots of christians in korea. also tons of very cult-like christian type of things. you’ve probably seen them shouting at myeong-dong if you’ve been.
that’s not to say korea is superbly conservative overall. i’m just saying it’s not a liberal happyland either. there are lgbt people, there are people who go for one night stands (apparently that’s what clubs are for lol they go there to pick the prey of the night) etc. etc. etc. i know this comes off kind of harsh but i like korea and a lot of my friends are korean and there are many wonderful things about the place and the people. but this is just the topic of discussion for the day thus it came out that way. disclaimer again that my intention is not to excuse their behaviour. just giving a different viewpoint. you may understand and still not agree. that’s cool. i’m always down to learn so if you intend to educate i’m always down to listen. no name-calling and stuff pls. doesn’t get anyone anywhere.
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How about the Johto games for the fandom asks? ;)
Hell yeah! :D
Favorite Male Character
To surprise of absolutely noone, Silver! But since I already talked about him and don’t have anything new and/or coherent to say… 
I really enjoyed Lance’s characterization in gen2!Like, he’s so nice! Gets concerned about Silver after battling him literally once! Feels guilty about having to faint pokemon used by team Rocket! ………aaaand he also Hyper Beams the guy guarding the Rocket hideout 😂 and thats what we call a multifaceted character 😂😂😂I was actually kind of surprised when I went to check his gen1 quotes and he has like… three lines… they really went out of their way to give him more personality in gen2 I guess!
Favorite Female Character
Karen of Elite Four! Part of it is of course that she is a dark type trainer, but mostly it’s this wonderful line:“Strong Pokemon. Weak Pokemon. That is only the selfish perception of people. Truly skilled trainers should try to win with their favorites”which I feel is a very healthy outlook a lot of people would benefit from. Also kinda applies in a broader sense, that people should do what they like instead of trying to do something other people will like.
Least Favorite Character
I dont really have characters I hate there, but I wish they gave Clair more personality than “sore loser who refuses to give you the badge”. Like damn, I understand wanting to make her different from Lance, but why did they have to go in that direction instead of like… any other? That’s not to mention that I was hoping for more dragon masters lore and was let down =3=
Favorite Ship
huntershipping (more generally protag/Silver, I like all iterations I’m just most attached to hunter)it’s like this ship was custom made just for me tbh… it’s got it all… rivalry… personal growth… two disasters who somehow complete each other…
Favorite Friendship
Not exactly canon but I always loved the idea of protag and Jasmine becoming friends! She is a very shy person and has trouble making friends, but she cares about pokemon fiercely and I feel like protag would respect that. Also it was such a pleasant surprise to see her in Sinnoh and I want to headcanon that it was their friendship that inspired her to go on a journey and try out new stuff like contests!
Favorite Quote
adksdjsdjsl I put it in this post already… Karen’s line about winning with your favorites!
This made me so happy you have no idea Moment
I’m a simple person I cried after meeting Silver on Mt. Moon because he’s grown so much and it was so rewarding and healing and just thinking about it makes me so emotional im… aahhhh TT
On the less ‘incoherent about Silver again’ note, winning against Lance for the first time made me big happy because it was a really close one (Gold was my first pkmn game so there were… a few… misses on my part. not grinding for League was one of them… another was KOing Ho-Oh (//_\) ) and Midnight, my Umbreon, carried hard and saved the day, so it really felt like an accomplishment and made me feel closer to my pokemon!
Saddest Moment
more mad than sad really… the whole thing with Slowpoke tails! Like… fuck team Rocket and fuck that one grunt in particular who was like “they are too stupid to even realize they are hurt” like??? how  d a r e ?!?
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Favorite Location
Hmm… I’ll go with the Lake of Rage! I liked the plotline with Red Gyarados, and I also have fond memories due to training my Eevee there.I also love Whirl Islands purely because of how cool the whole concept is!
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britshits · 7 years
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do you think cis muns can play trans/nb chars? i know this opinion varies but i remember coming across a post that said cis muns shouldn't and now i see a lot of that happening
boy, oh boy… this question …………………….. is like 110% up for debate ?? hell, im not 100% on where i personally stand bc there are legit SO MANY FACTORS ??? pls don’t read this thinking it’s gospel bc it’s truly not and ik this gon turn into some long ass semi-rant, so scroll for a tl;dr, but … [ cracks knuckles ] let’s gO !
i’ll be 100% real n say that i am always, always going to be uber picky when i come across cis muns playing trans/nb muses. i instinctively raise my hackles and put everything they do under the microscope, mainly bc they ( obviously ) don’t have first-hand experience of the pressures / prejudices / issues / feelings etc. that are exclusive to our community, so they have a tendency to fall into all the harmful tropes when it comes to trans characters—and, without that innate understanding of our struggles, they don’t see how these things can be damaging. there’s also the whole issue of the media perpetuating this bs, so really, while research can do wonders, it’s never gonna be a catch-all solution.
that’s not to say i don’t think that cis people can write solid, unproblematic trans characters. i have most definitely met people who are cis who’ve played wonderful trans and/or non binary charries, whom i adored and would educate themselves and readily listen to any tips that i or other trans people gave them. i actually haven’t met a cis person who has played a non binary muse in a way i have an issue with so far. ik that there’s a general issue in the rpc with people changing their charrie from cis to nb to fill a ratio, which is a Mess and a Half, and ofc the assumption that the character’s assigned sex at birth matches that of the face claim. but, other than that nasty business, the majority of cis ppl playing nb charries are #tight and willing to learn, at least as far as i’ve experienced.
when it comes to binary trans muses tho … lmfa o ….. where do i even begin ?? like idk what it is about cis ppl but a lot of them are just absolutely OBSESSED with what’s goin on in a trans person’s pants ?? i mentioned this in another ask, but bruh… if i had a pound for every time some1 has fuckcin offhandedly brought up / alluded to my charrie’s downstairs configuration when we’re plotting, i’d have enough money to buy this blue hellsite and shut it tf down like i goddamn want to, but anyway !! the reason i bring this up is bc i see so many ppl who have this approach with their own characters—i.e. fetishising them. i mean if ur trans, u do u man, sexualising ur charrie is ur prerogative ?? but fuc k n cis ppl doing this…………………….. mmm hooo my go dd … do u realise how disgusting and nasty this shit is ??????? i mean trans ppl have enough shit w/ ppl sexualising us irl ( esp. trans women !! they literally have it so fuckn rough w/ tht i cant even begin 2 describe ) so like, leave it out of rp thx ???
but nope !!! y’all can’t do that !!!!!!!! (((((((((: tbh in the rpc, most of the bs seems to affect trans male muses, as far as i’ve seen. i think it’s partly bc trans female muses are so few and far between, which is an issue in and of itself, but also bc a lot of the rpc is so fuckin guilty of the nasty obsession with m/m ships. it’s usually cishet girls who pull this shit and they pull it w/ all males tbh, like they legit use gay guys as a fuckn object like “OMG !!!! GAYSZ !!! SO CUT E I LOVE THEM !!! COME SHIP W/ ME I LOVE GAY BOYZ !!! :’)” lmfaooo miss me w/ this shit !!! u wanna chat about lesbians being fetishised by cishet men and yet u only give a fuck about mlm when they’re being a cutesy lil otps or banging it out so u can flick ur bean hmm ?? i see u. but yeah, it’s not exclusively cishet girls who do this shit… like, cis ppl in general are pretty shit at playing trans males, specifically. like you’re lucky to find a single starter that isn’t tagged as “indie smut rp” or “indie gay rp” or if their threads aren’t laced with sexualised scenarios or worse… the dreaded C-Word. like bruh if ur not a trans male u literally have no business using that word regarding ur muse. ever.
tbh 99% of the time they don’t even realise just how gross they’re being, bc, as i mentioned before, they don’t have any concept of what it’s like to be trans and how gross and intrusive ppl can be towards us. they think that it’s just the same as writing any character and that they can sexualise them if they want to, without realising that .. it’s very different when you’re outside that community. you’re not exploring an aspect of your identity, so much as reducing someone else’s to a very, very small sector of theirs and then using it for entertainment.
tl;dr: it’s literally a clusterfuck of nope tbh and, on a personal lvl, i’m almost at the point of thinking it would be better if cis ppl don’t play trans charries, bc the bad far outweighs the good in terms of how harmful it can be. that said, i do not think that telling cis ppl not to play trans characters is the right thing to do, bc of the following:
the people who do the disgusting things i’ve mentioned above or anything else that’s nasty don’t listen to us anyway, so it’s not gonna solve that problem.
it reinforces the “write what you know” mantra, which i think we can all agree is so old n outdated in 2k17.
sometimes writing characters is how people manage to learn new things about themselves. i’ve actually met people who, through their character research, have realised that they identify as non binary or trans. having an outlet for feelings they may be having really helps some ppl along.
lastly, and what i personally believe to be the crux of this issue, is that by trying to police something like this you are essentially forcing disclosure of ooc gender. not everyone is comfortable or ready to say they are trans or they may not be sure about their gender identity at all, so forcing them to make it known for the sake of playing a character is not okay. and, ofc, we have the obvious addition that ppl lie, so you’re relying on good faith to carry it out.
so yeah, that’s my v. long-winded two cents on the matter. i have a feeling i’ve missed some details, but it’s 3am and i need to be up by like 9:30 so that’s all for now !! feel free to drop me another question if i’ve fuckt anything up or u would like clarification on anything !
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