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transmascissues · 2 months

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it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it #some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively #but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much #maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk #but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t #ask answered #testosterone #hrt #ftm hrt #hair loss #trans men #transmascs

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starry-bi-sky · 5 months

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I saw a post a few months ago (and damn was it really months? In PLURAL?) that was a cracky dpxdc au where the LOS were making Damian clones but the clones kept getting snatched by ghost portals and dropped into Danny’s lap and Danny just goes “ok ig this is my life now” and takes care of each one until he has his own mini army of Damian Clones.

And I remembered it a few days ago, and now I've been thinking about it again. Because I love clone aus (see: clone danny au, the 'danny is thomas wayne' au) because it itches the part of my mind that loves exploring personhood and the exploration of identity and what it means to be clone.

(What do you do when nothing about you is unique? When your face, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your voice, all the way down to your heart, all belong to someone else?)

(When it comes to nature vs nurture what of you came from your environment and your experiences, and what of you was already programmed into you from the DNA that made you?)

(What do you do to make it unique? What do you do to make you unique?)

And if I could remember who made that post I'd @ them right now because it was their original post that inspired this, but I'm just thinking of if the au only had One Singular Damian clone that fell into Danny's life.

(a read more because im apparently incapable of making posts that are less than 1k words...)

One Damian who knew he was a clone and knew that he was to either bring the original back to base or kill him to take his place, who was being trained the same way but kept getting compared to his original over and over again. Like an older sibling who you can never match up to. Who is still a child who craves adult affection and validation and praise, and can't get it because nothing about him is original.

One Damian who, at six years old, in a twist of fate is sucked through a swirling portal and lands in Amity Park, directly on top of, in front of, or in line of sight of one Daniel Fenton, half-ghost extraordinaire and local hero.

What happens next?

Well, for one, Danny recognizes him immediately. He would recognize the face of Damian Wayne anywhere because his best friend was ranting about him all week about Damian Wayne's environmental stuff he does.

And for two, he would recognize that the Damian Wayne in front of him was not Damian Wayne. Because Damian Wayne was a teenager. And the Damian Wayne in front of him is a child. Six years old.

Getting this not-Damian but also-Damian to go along with Danny is not, not an easy task. The tiny Damian is aggressive, regal, and at this point in time, six years old, barely understanding english. He also has a sword.

It takes all day and a google translator to get this Tiny Damian to finally agree to go home with Danny. It's a miracle. Seriously. A tried and true miracle. And its also only when Danny has to fight a ghost does he finally agree, saying something in arabic that Danny doesn't understand.

Danny flies them both home, carrying Tiny Damian like a koala. The ensuing conversation in his room is not any better. It is tiring, long, and exhausting. Tiny Damian is six years old, and every single thing he says when Danny asks where he came from is met with a poorly translated "that's classified".

Danny keeps an eye on the news. There are no reports of Damian Wayne going missing, in fact he's been rather public. Bruce Wayne is not one to lie about his children going missing, and Damian's secretive behavior and young age draws Danny to one conclusion: Damian is a clone.

He doesn't know why Damian Wayne is being cloned. Frankly he doesn't really wanna know, because whatever organization that did it doesn't seem too pure-of-heart if tiny-Damian's immediate attempt of murder when they first met is of any indication. But he's too busy taking care of his city, that he doesn't have time to deal with whatever shady business Tiny-Damian was produced from.

In the end though, he decides that this Tiny-Damian is not going back to whatever place he came from. Tiny Damian disagrees. It is a long, nebulous problem of Damian trying to run away, Danny catching him, and Danny pulling him back home.

In that time, Danny downloads a language app and starts learning Arabic so that they can talk to each other properly. Damian slowly, slowly, starts picking up English.

In that time, Danny also has to inform his friends and his sister about Damian. Tiny Damian is not a fan of this. That is another argument they have. Tiny Damian does not like Sam or Tucker for a long, long while. He only really "listens" to Danny, citing something in arabic that Danny still cannot understand, but has a repeated use of the word "lieazir". It's the only word that Danny can catch in a sentence immediately, because its what little Damian calls Danny.

Tiny Damian, in that front, is very interested in Danny's powers and in his parents work. He finds tubberware of ectoplasm in the fridge once while they're down in the kitchen and calls it something with the word lieazir in it. The other word is something that Danny later learns means water in arabic.

It makes him feel even more uneasy of whatever place little Damian came from.

It takes weeks for little Damian to finally give up on escaping, and then a few weeks more for him to almost entirely lose his spunk. Danny isn't sure what started it. It was as if he'd been flipped with an off-switch.

(Damian had been so confident that the League would go looking for him after his disappearance. He was wrong, and he is crushed. He is still a child, alone, in a country very big and very busy, where nobody understands what he's saying. He feels powerless, helpless.)

(The lazarus boy who calls himself Danyal is nice to him in a way the league has never been, and he's making an effort to learn Damian's language. But he leaves for hours at a time and Damian doesn't have much else to do but wait in this house for him to come back.)

(He tried leaving, many many times, but he doesn't understand the street signs, the roads, the people. He doesn't know where he is, and he feels scared in a way that he's not felt in the League. Danny finds him every single time, hours later when Damian is lost somewhere in Amity Park)

(And he never yells at him. Never. The first time this happens, Damian puffs himself up and prepares himself for this strange lazarus boy to yell at him. Damian feels like he's tripped on the last step of the stairs when Danyal doesn't yell at him.)

(He can tell he's frustrated by the tone of his voice, but when Danyal lays eyes on him he just looks relieved. He gets scolded on the flight home, but Damian doesn't understand any of it other than Danyal just sounds worried. Not angry. He gets a proper scolding once they get back, with Danyal typing into the google translator and playing it for Damian to hear.)

(This happens every single time until Damian finally agrees to stop running away.)

It's with Jazz's help that Danny finally realizes that Damian was depressed. It's with her help again that Danny tries helping with it. It's like trying to get a stray cat to trust him. And with everything else they've done, it takes a long time.

And it is so, so worth it when it all works out.

Tiny Damian doesn't really like Sam, or Tucker, but he likes Danny. And he finally starts calling him his name. His full name, but his name nonetheless. Danny doesn't bother correcting him. He's not looking a gift horse in the mouth. And it's endearing hearing Damian call him Danyal.

Damian in this time, also begins to take more initiative into learning English. And they teach each other words they know. Danny buys flash cards and writes the english alphabet on them, and then finds a book on arabic to teach himself and Damian. Sam and Tucker and Jazz start learning as well.

And then when Danny knows enough arabic and Damian knows enough english, and Damian trusts Danny, Damian tells him he's a clone. It's a quiet moment, late at night when Danny takes Damian up to the ops center to look at what stars they could see through the light pollution.

It'd be very easy for Danny to tell him, "I know. I could tell from the start.". He doesn't, it's not the time nor the place, and Danny's matured enough to know when to open his mouth and when to keep it shut. He lets Damian, almost seven now, tell him that he's a clone of Damian Wayne. Lets him tell him why he was made, what his purpose was.

(Danny will need a minute later to process the fact that Damian Wayne originally came from some kind of... assassin league with an obsession with immortality. But he's focused on Damian.)

In the end, he puts an arm around Damian Wayne's clone and pulls him into his side. Thanks him for trusting him, it must've been hard to tell him, that he's brave for being able to. And if he wants to, they can find a way to get into contact with the Waynes and let Wayne know about him.

Damian hides his face in Danny's ribs and holds him tight, and tells him he doesn't want to. Danny leaves it at that.

Perhaps it would be more morally ethical to alert Damian Wayne that there was a clone of him running around, that his... uh, grandfather was making clones of him. Hell, Danny would have liked it. But little Damian has asked him not to say anything, and little Damian needs someone to rely on; someone he can trust.

And in the end, its not that hard of a decision to make. Danny knows little Damian more than he knows Damian Wayne, and while Danny likes to think he's a good person, he knows he's not a great one. Nor a perfect one. He cares more about someone he knows than someone he doesn't.

If Sam tries to argue with him about it, then Danny will just double down. If Damian doesn't want to tell Wayne about his existence, then it's not their place to say otherwise.

There's a lot more to talk about over Damian's cloning, like what he wants to do moving forward. But that's a long conversation not meant to be one taken late at night. Little Damian is falling asleep at his side, seemingly much more relaxed than he did before, and Danny wasn't gonna ruin that.

And later he's right, it is a long conversation, and a slow one. Talking with Jazz about it helps him figure out what to do moving forward, and their best bet is to let Damian figure out what he wants to do. So he sits Damian down at the dinner table the next morning and tells him before breakfast that he doesn't need to be Damian Wayne.

He doesn't need to learn all the same things Damian Wayne did. He doesn't need to do anything that Damian Wayne does. And little Damian is seven, and he's smart, but Danny still has to word it in a way that's not too complex for him to realize.

And in the end, what he says essentially boils down to "You are not Damian Wayne, you are just you. Don't be anyone else but you." and it'll take more time to drill that into his mind when all he's ever heard and learned from is that he was a copy of Damian Wayne, and he must act like Damian Wayne. But it'll happen.

It's a hard task when Danny's the only person Damian really trusts and he can't be by his side all the time, but he starts to warm up to the rest of Danny's family. The Fenton parents know of him, it's hard to keep a six year old child a secret for as long as Danny did without eventually having to come clean about it. His parents, much to Danny's relief, are very welcoming to Damian.

Damian figures out what he likes. Slowly. He's six years old, almost seven, and nobody expects of him to figure out who he is immediately. No child knows who they are right off the bat. So like any child he begins to explore. His english is better but still rough, and he struggles to read said language, but the Fenton family are happy to help even if Damian learns words that no normal seven year old does. (Many of them scientific.)

Damian realizes he likes stars, even if said interest is influenced by the association to Danny. Danny is all too delighted to tell him all about them, and in the process takes him flying out somewhere where the light pollution doesn't reach and showing him where constellations are.

Damian is six-almost-seven, so he doesn't find all of them, but Danny helps him figure out the easier ones. He tells him the scientific facts behind them, and then tells him about the mythos of the constellations. Later on they make their own constellations and make up stories about what they are.

(Damian adores Danny out of anyone else in the Fenton Family. The name Danyal turns to Dany. If anyone asks, Daniel Fenton is Damian's big brother.)

(He still refers to Jazz as Jazmine, and Danny's parents as Mrs. and Mr. Fenton.)

He realizes that, like his original, he loves animals, and he becomes vegetarian too. Sam is smug and Tucker is disappointed, but Damian doesn't super care about their opinions. ...he's getting better at liking them, even if he thinks Manson is a bit snobby and Foley is too much at times.

Its inevitable that the conversation of school comes into play. Damian can't stay home all day and he needs proper schooling. So after a long talk with Damian, they agree to send him to elementary school.

...And before they can do that the Fenton Family goes through with legally adopting Damian into the family as Damian Fenton. It takes convincing to get the administration to enroll him into the first grade without a proper schooling background.

(On his adoption form, Damian asks to change his birthday to the day he met Danny. Perhaps its not the most responsible thing to agree to, but Danny wants Damian to find himself. And its not like they know when his actual birthday was.)

And despite where he learned it from, Damian quite likes sparring. And he quite likes sparring with Danny in particular. Danny makes it fun, something that was foreign in his old league training, and Danny never hurts him. It's a lot like roughhousing.

Danny tells Damian how he got his powers, and how his parents don't know. Damian wakes up late at night to Danny sneaking out of the room (their house is not big enough to give Damian an individual room, and Danny agreed to share his) to go fight ghosts.

It's upsetting. Damian knows that Danny gets injured in those fights, even if Danny never comes home until after those injuries have been fixed up. He wants to help, and he voices it, and Danny shoots him down.

It becomes an argument, something that has happened less and less over the months.

Damian is experienced.

Damian is a child.

Damian knows how to fight.

Damian is mortal and fragile. He is a tiny, squishy human boy and the people Danny fights are ghosts who are near-indestructible. Who are intimately acquainted with death but also do not remember that humans are capable of it. Especially when they're fighting.

Damian says that Batman's rogues are capable of the same thing, that he lets his Robins help him fight.

And Danny says he is not Batman and he will not allow Damian to fight ghosts with him. Those ghosts will kill him and it will hurt. Dying hurts in a way that is terrifying and unimaginable and he will not risk Damian experiencing it. Not even Sam and Tucker help him in his fights most of the time, they are not able to. Not in the way Danny can.

Damian doesn't talk to him all day the following morning, but Danny does not budge on his decision. Damian tries to follow him out the next night, and Danny catches him and takes him back. Over, and over, and over again.

Until finally he gets intercepted by Skulker while taking Damian back home and is forced to fight him in front of Damian. (If it had been his choice, he would not have let Damian see it at all.)

It's not pretty. Skulker has new weapons, weapons that hurt, a lot. Danny is stuck between trying to take him down and trying to protect Damian from Skulker's attacks at him and from all the debris being created from the fight. It's with Damian's quick thinking and fast feet that finally helps Danny take Skulker out. But Danny is badly injured in the aftermath.

He doesn't have time to take Damian home and get medical attention. So he takes Damian with him to wherever he has his supplies stashed. He doesn't call Sam or Tucker or Jazz, and has to stitch himself up alone, with Damian watching.

Damian is quiet the entire time, he feels awful. Danny's not mad at him -- well, he is. But not because he had to protect him. He's just tired, and a little disappointed in him. Damian doesn't sneak out again. But he still feels helpless.

Danny tells him that that is why he doesn't want Damian to help him. Ghosts, his ghosts, are hard to fight. They are powerful, and his 'rogues' are mean. They will not care that Damian is a mortal child, if he picks a fight with them, they will fight back. And Damian is not immune to certain ghost powers like Danny is.

Damian is silent. He wants to help. But Danny is right: he is a squishy, mortal, living child. There is not much he can do to help Danny. Not without any gear to do it. Not without any powers to do it. He wants to help. He cannot.

Damian, almost-seven-years old, begins to cry. It is the last thing Danny was expecting, and for a moment he is at a loss of what to do.

Damian reaches for him -- in the Fenton family, physical affection is expected. Damian is getting used to it, but Danny is the only one he likes touching him -- and then stops, cringing away like he only just remembered that Danny was hurt.

He only cries harder.

Danny meets him halfway and pulls him into his arms, situating Damian between his knees from where he's sitting. Through his tears, Damian says he wants to help. He wants to help. He doesn't want Danny to get hurt anymore. He doesn't want Danny to fight ghosts alone anymore. He's scared that Danny will stop coming back.

Danny doesn't have anything to say to reassure him. Can't say anything to reassure him. It'll all just be lies. He's not going to stop fighting ghosts, he can't. He's not going to stop getting hurt, he can't. He's not going to bring Damian with him, he can't. He'd never be able to live with himself.

"I'll always come back." He says though, because that is something he can promise. Whether dead or alive, he'll come back.

When the tears finally stop, Damian doesn't say anything again. He sniffles, and presses his ear to Danny's chest, listening to the steady, slow heartbeat. If he puts his ear to his sternum and strains his ear, Damian would almost hear the low hum of Danny's ghost core, like a small dwarf sun.

"If you die, I'll drag you to the Lazarus pools myself." Damian mumbles eventually, his voice sleep-full. It's spoken in arabic, and Danny only understands half of it.

He laughs quietly, and smoothes his hand over Damian's hair. He hasn't had a haircut since he arrived, it's gotten long and there are curls beginning to form. "Okay."

Damian falls asleep shortly after, and with much consideration to his own injuries and Damian's sleeping form, Danny flies them back home.

It's hard to say, but not much changes in routine afterwards. Damian hovers close to Danny, more than usual. Danny still goes out at night, he still stitches himself up before going back, he still goes back home where Damian is waiting worriedly for him. Damian doesn't like falling asleep without knowing Danny is there.

Now the hard question is: when does little Damian finally meet the Waynes for the first time? There's plenty of ways to go about it, both easy and hard. Perhaps we go this way:

The Fenton family are visiting Maddie's sister in Arkansas. And Damian is dragging Danny around through the surrounding forest. It's his first time being in a forest this large since he moved in with the Fentons. Safe to say he is delighted by all of the nature, and he's dragging Danny along with him.

Danny likes the peace and quiet it gives him, he's found that he enjoys the rural area more than he likes the city. He's happy to let Damian point out every plant he recognizes, even if some of it is in arabic.

They walk around all day until Damian gets tired, and then at night when the sky is clear Danny and him go look at the stars. It's peaceful at first.

On the third day of their visit, Damian drags Danny out far from the house. It's slightly worrying, but Danny can always fly them back if it gets too late.

It's in the woods that Danny and Damian stray much too far from Alicia's house, and from there in the early evening that they run into Batman and Red Robin, both of them in rough 'just got out of a fight' shape.

Safe to say, it was the last thing any of them expected to run into. Damian and Danny had stopped at a small crik to rest, and the two vigilantes came through the tree line on the other side.

It was... quite the staring contest.

Damian, now seven years old at this point, forgot to mention that the Waynes were vigilantes when he told Danny he was a clone. But he was told that Batman was his original's father.

Before anyone can say anything, little Damian wraps his arms tight around Danny's middle and stares Batman and Red Robin down. His sharp edges have softened around the Fentons. But he makes no exceptions to anyone else outside of Danny's immediate social circle.

Danny's arm automatically goes around Damian's shoulders, and he looks between both Red and Batman uneasily. If they were here then it meant that there was something unsafe nearby. Danny did not fight the living, and he wasn't going to put Damian in the crosshairs of anything that does.

"Should... should we leave?" He asks, brows knotted together with a frown. He stands. "Is there something going on nearby?"

Batman suddenly grunts, and looks at him. "It's been handled." He says, and his voice is gruffer than Danny imagined it. Lower. Danny is not all that comfortable with that answer.

"Do you guys live nearby?" Red Robin asks, and Danny can't help but notice that he keeps looking at Damian. Warily. In fact, so is Batman.

He pushes Damian behind him slightly, and Damian's grip tightens on him. "Not... exactly." He says, his eyes narrowing slightly. "My family's visiting my Aunt and my brother wanted to explore since it's his first time out of the city, I guess we wandered too far away if we're running into you."

There's no visible indication of whether or not both Bats reacted to him calling Damian his brother. But he can all but feel little Damian preen at the title, it makes Danny's mouth twitch into a smile as his hand finds Damian's hair.

"Would we be able to go back with you?" Red Robin asks, startling both Danny and seemingly Batman, who looks at him instantly.

"Red Robin." He growls out, and Red Robin throws Batman a look of annoyance.

"We are lost, B. They jammed the comms and our trackers back there and it hasn't come back on yet, his aunt may have the signal we need to let the others know where we are."

They end up walking back with Danny and Damian. It's silent, and awkward, and Danny has Damian walking on his opposite side so he's not near the vigilantes. Red Robin is fiddling with a phone but still can't get a signal.

Batman is silently brooding.

Red eventually gives up and shoves the phone into a pocket on his belt, then turns to make conversation with Danny. "I never thanked you for letting us walk with you. Thanks, by the way."

Danny blinks at him, and smiles awkwardly. "No problem, man," he says, "I'm uh, Danny." He glances down at Damian, who looks up at him with big green eyes, and Damian nods quietly.

He looks back at Red Robin, and says, "This is my little brother, Damian." And Damian peers over his side and glares at Red Robin -- and Batman, who looks over when Danny says his name.

"He looks like Damian Wayne," Red Robin notes, head tilting like he's inspecting him.

Danny huffs dryly, "We get that a lot."

Red Robin smiles at him, its a tilted thing. It makes Danny uneasy. "Where did you say you were from?"

"I didn't," Danny says bluntly, and he really doesn't want to tell them where he's from. Not when Red Robin was acting strange, but they're vigilantes and notorious for their detective skills. If he's suspicious, they'll look into him. "But I'm from Amity Park."

Damian in that moment, peers around Danny again and scowls at Red Robin. Full on scowls at him, as if it were the first months when he met Danny. "You're being nosy." He sneers, his hand squeezing Danny's.

"Damian," Danny hisses, suppressing a smile. Damian jumps like he's been startled, and looks up at him with big green eyes. "He's just being curious."

(He lets his smile slip through briefly, just to let Damian know he's not that upset. A tension leaves his little brother's shoulders.)

"But he is." Damian continues, a whine leaking into his voice. Danny jabs him in the ribs with his fingers, and Damian jumps, swatting away his hand with a squeak.

"Would you rather have us walk in dead silence, Dames?" He goes for Damian's ribs again, a grin stretching across his face as Damian jumps back again and swats his hand. "Hm? Hm? We could just walk in awkward silence for the entire trip back, I know you just love awkward silence, little brother."

(It's funny, saying little brother always sounds so uncomfortable when he reads it in books and watches it on tv. But Jazz always makes it sound so natural when she does it, and Danny finds that he sounds the same too.)

Damian continues to bat away his hands, but it's not enough to prevent him from squealing with laughter when Danny gets a good hold on him and starts tickling him. Danny's grin only gets bigger, and he swoops Damian up with his arm and holds him like a football.

"Is that it? Huh? Me, you, and two vigilantes walking back to Aunt Alicia's cabin in complete, utter silence." He says, "You won't get to hear any of my amazing jokes."

Damian's wriggling, trying to pound on Danny's ribs, he's giggling uncontrollably. It's the best sound Danny's ever heard. "Your jokes are awful! Laeazir! Put me down!" He cries, grinning from ear to ear.

(From the side, both Red Robin and Batman tense up.)

Danny chuckles, and through a short series of flips, has Damian sitting on his shoulders. "I will not. You're sitting up in air jail for insulting my hilarious jokes."

Damian tugs on his hair in revenge, harrumphing at him but making no move to get down. Danny squeezes his ankles playfully, and looks back to Batman and Red Robin.

Both vigilantes look at him like he's grown a second head.

....Red Robin looks at him like he's grown a second head. Batman just stares, and then looks away. Danny tilts his head at them, his smile waning. "You guys look like you've seen a ghost or something."

(Damian tugs on his hair again. A silent boo at him.)

Red Robin jerks, "Oh, sorry." He says, not sounding all that sorry. "It's just... I've lost count to how many times I've saved Damian Wayne from the occasional kidnapping and he's always been very... serious. It's just weird seeing a kid that looks like him be... not serious."

From his shoulders he feels Damian hide his smile in his hair, that's another thing they can put on their "Things That Damian Does That Damian Wayne Does Not" list. It started as a joke, but it's been surprisingly helpful for when Damian is questioning himself.

However, Danny is not a fan of the comparison, and he smiles widely, perhaps a tad passive-aggressive. "It's a good thing that my Damian isn't Damian Wayne then." He says, giving him the slight stink eye.

Red Robin picks up on it quickly, and nods.

The rest of the way is spent in idle conversation. It's oddly casual, even if most of the conversation is Danny talking about himself. It's annoying, but he unfortunately understands the reason. Secret identities and all that.

Damian interjects a few times, some parts to talk to Danny, and other parts to throw shade at Batman and Red Robin. Mostly Red Robin, who seems begrudgingly used to it.

("I'm surprised you haven't asked me much about myself." Red Robin says at one point into the conversation. Over his shoulder Batman glares at Red Robin. "A lot of civilians do when they're able."

Danny stares at him. "You're a vigilante." He says, frowning, "Isn't it superhero 101 that you don't ask superheroes for their secret identity?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Huh. Well, no. I'm not gonna ask you about yourself. I quite like talking all about me.")

When they finally reach the cabin, it's late into the night and Danny has moved Damian from his shoulders to his front in a koala-like carry. Damian's fast asleep with his head on Danny's shoulder.

His family was also frantically searching for him, and Jazz sees him first. She immediately turns behind her and yells "I FOUND HIM!". And then sprints over to him, his parents thundering not too far behind.

Both vigilantes are subsequently ignored as Jazz dotes over him and Danny, and soon enough so is his mom and dad. They're all talking all at once, asking him where he was, they were worried sick, did he know how late it was.

He shushes all of them, loudly. And whispers that Damian is sleeping. His family then immediately quiet themselves, and go back to yelling at him in a more appropriate manner.

"Me and Damian walked too far by accident." Danny finally says when he can get a word in, and then he jabs his thumb in Red Robin and Batman's direction. "We also found two superheroes who need assistance."

The speed of which his family all snap their heads over to the direction he's pointing is almost comical. As is all of their expressions of shock.

His mother is the first to regain her senses, and she sighs at him. She sighs! "Only you, Danny." She says, and Jazz snorts into her arm.

#dpxdc #dpdc #dpxdc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danny phantom au #dpdc danny fenton #i am incapable of making short posts it seems. heavy sigh #this post is open to add ons if anyone's interested 👉👈#this entire au is essentially the song 'Strange Sight' by KT Turnstall from the Tinkerbell and the Neverbeast #This post mostly goes into how danny and damian's relationship develops because i think that's the more important part of the au #also damian's like six i firmly believe he wouldn't know much english #no no he's learning arabic first and then english LATER. if he would ever even get there with the league #iirc all the damian clones liked Danny so i wanna explore how their relationship got to that point. Like what happened for Danny to get eve #getting one Damian clone to like him enough to go up to bat for him? that takes time and patience and i wanna explore that lol #danny's in his late teens here btw.#Clone Damian is a 7yo child and I'm writing him as such because its fun. I thought about having Clone Damian change his name but nothing fi #little clone damian is also A Tad Clingy. Danny is the First Person to have shown him a kindness and Damian Imprinted On Him Like a Duck #i love clone aus and clone aus love me #clone damian and danny are bROOOTHEERSS #i thought about making clone damian's name damon bc its close to the name damian but also i like the idea that clone damian keeps the--#original name and then makes it his own. something about taking the name you were given thats not really yours and MAKING it yours

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birth-screaming · 11 months

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Beach Birth

Request by @frank5804

Hazel really had hoped for a peaceful trip followed by a peaceful birth. The universe, however, had other plans. It was a hot day when Hazel had gone on a beach trip. She had decided to wear nothing but a pink bikini. Her due date was well over a week from now, so she felt comfortable and safe to go on the trip. She had a c-section planned anyways.

Her massive belly stuck out like a sore thumb. She was pregnant with twins, both of which being 9-11 pounds. Did she feel a little embarrassed? Sure, but she didn't care that much. She waddled onto a far away corner of the beach. Her stomach felt so low, and she had to painfully walk to lay down her blanket to sit on.

Some time passed by, and she decided to go in the water. She waddled away and gently sat down in the water, but still near the shore. Out of nowhere she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She told herself that that was normal during pregnancy. The pain, however, did not go away. She continued to painfully play around. All of a sudden a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. She doubled over in pain. She realized that people were giving her worried looks, but she could not focus on that. The pain only kept building until it finally faded away. Hazel's concerns grew, but she assumed that it was only a braxton hick. She continued to swim around, hoping nothing had happened.

Only three minutes go by, when she gets hit by another contraction. This one was even more painful than the other. She grabbed her massive belly and squirmed in pain. Pressure grew near her abdomen, using full strength the push down. She felt something move down her birth canal. She realized, still doubled over in pain, that she was definitely in labor. She tried to scream through her clenched teeth, but she could not make a sound. She realized she had to give birth here, her massive twins having no chance of c-section.

As soon as her contraction was over, she ran out of the water. She could barely stand with her belly and her drenched bikini. "SOMEONE, HELP!" she screamed. She barely made it out of the water before another contraction hit her. She felt her baby shift further down her birth canal. The pain in her abdomen was unbearable as the pressure continues to keep growing. She held her breath and tried not to scream, even with the pressure she was dealing with.

"She's giving birth!" someone yelled out from the beach. Hazel saw a tall man walking towards her. She had gotten not even a minute of rest when another contraction hit her. This one was different. On top of her pain in both her abdomen and the pressure-which were both worse than the previous ones- she felt her pussy lips part rapidly. She was about to crown. She clenched her teeth and grabbed her stomach. She got the urge to push-a big one. She tried to tolerate it but the pain kept growing. She quickly bore down and screamed louder than she had ever heard anyone scream.

The man came close to her and sat down. "Hey, just breathe for me, okay? I'll help deliver your baby" She could not believe him. How could a random man know how to safely deliver her abnormally large baby? "Just pull down your bikini, you're about to start crowning". She wanted to argue, but she simply had no strength. She obliged and took off her bikini's lower half.

Another contraction came through her, and she could take it no more, she bore down with all the strength she had. She felt her pussy stretch, more, more, until it felt like it would rip open if she continued to push. "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, ITS TOO BIG". "I know, but right now you need to push." "IT BURNS SO MUCH, IM GONNA TEAR, ITS SO BIG" "You. Need. To. Push. Otherwise the baby will go back inside. Terrified at the thought, she agreed and continued to push. Her pussy was stretched so wide that someone could fit their whole adult leg in it. She felt searing white hot pain, but she felt all of it. The next contraction was even worse, when she pushed, her pussy had reached its limit, it was about to tear. "I see it! Push!" he said. Hazel nonetheless kept pushing. Her whole body was shaking. "GET IT OUTTTT AAAHHHHHHH!!" she screamed. When she realized that she couldn't stretch anymore, she felt the head pop out with a gush of amniotic fluid. The man pulled out her baby and held it out to her. "It's a girl" he said.

The discomfort didn't stop though. Hazel continued to moan, louder each time. She began to whimper. She shifted uncomfortably in the sand. "ooohh" she said in a shaky moan. "what happened, my dear?" "I have twins" Hazel said with a pang of pain. "ooOOHH" Her voice grew as she felt a small contraction rip through her. "Please, i cant do this again, help, please, stop this" she cried and begged him, knowing that there was nothing he could do. She painfully realized that this was going to be the larger and heavier baby. She moaned even louder, her voice and body still shaking. "We can get you to the hospital, and don't worry, this one will be easier." Hazel nodded and tried to get up. He tried to help her up, as she moaned even louder, her moan almost being a scream.

Before he could even get her to take a step, she screamed out and doubled down. "NO! NOT NOW! NOT AGAIN!" she yelled out. "its okay, dear, relax". She didn't listen to him. She bore down with all her strength. "FUCK, ITS COMING, ITS COMING!! ITS WAY. TOO. BIGGGG!!" Her screams grew. He realized that this one would require more help. Without thinking, he laid her down on her sand, and pushed on her stomach. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ILL TEAR," He put more pressure. "STOP. ITS COMING FASTER!" She bore down again, screaming and begging him to stop. "I'm sorry, if i don't do this the baby will definitely slip back in. Now you don't want to birth this baby twice, do you?" he told her. She shook her head. She was crowning again. "See, this time its easier" "IT BURNS SO MUCH. SO MUCH PRESSURE" He still had no choice but to continue pushing on her stomach, this time with much more pressure, almost as if he was working a machinery, not tending to her pain. He couldn't though, as it was necessary to apply as much pressure as possible to prevent

Hazel continued to push, and she felt her pussy being stretched to the max. She knew she had to stop and let herself stretch. The man, however, didn't notice and put even more pressure, so much so that her stomach wasn't even round anymore. "STOP. IM TEARINGG!" she screamed, but it was too late. She felt her pussy rip apart, as if the pressure on her abdomen was not already enough. She felt the head pop out, giving a rest to her bulging pussy. The man noticed it and quickly pulled the baby out. She amniotic fluid rushed out as she finally felt relief. The man handed her her second baby. Hazel lovingly held them both.

"My name is Axel, by the way"

#birth #pushing #birth kink #giving birth #birth fic #birth denial #labor kink #public birth

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peachie-bumblebee · 9 months

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Hey so this might be weird but would you be able to do some Vanessa nsfw Headcanons? If not, I would also like more glamrock chica content

hi love! so at this time i can’t seem to get much inspiration for Vanessa!! it’s not a weird request at all, and I’m currently doing a rewatch of the OG SB content with my partner, so I will put it right there for when I feel more confident in my writing abilities for that character. for now, enjoy some chica content <3

NSFW HEADCANONS WITH GLAMROCK CHICA- EXTENDED

NSFW MINORS DNI

she’s actually so baby girl

CW: GENERAL KINK DISCUSSION, LIGHT DISCUSSION OF IMPACT PLAY

i’m actually so obsessed with her you have no idea. no no idea.

as before mentioned, she’s a toy FREAK

she gets her toys either through discreet delivery (she has a deal with a worker where if they get it to her no questions asked, she’ll let them hide in her room for good chunks of their shift) or adult customers (aspiring groupies) have caught onto the fact that if they give her ones, she’ll take them

she eSPECIALLY loves when they give her something more custom to her design and aesthetic.

her type is anyone she can find cute. seriously. if she can make them blush once, she’s starting to think about the soonest she can get them into a closet

don’t get me wrong, she’s not the type to initiate first- she’s very careful about it. but if the vibe is there and they’re both receptive, then yeah. she wants them on her dick and sucking her clit!!

chica is a FREAK and i’m tired of y’all saying she isn’t. she’s also mostly a top..

i want you to look at her stretch her arms in that gif. really look at it.

she’s got a little heart design on her pussy front hshsshghjss

and her clit is pink

LOVES fingering. she loves fingering her partners, getting fingered, both at the same time-

she likes to have her partners touch themselves for her to watch across the room. literally put on a show for her!!

thinks its cute when they get shy but always shows them how not to be ;)

makes those sharp giggle-gasps during sex hhh

she LOVES quickies. she’ll show up backstage ready for a show and have been in you 5 minutes prior

i’m sorry but she and Roxy have fucked at least once. it’s just to blow off steam and it doesn’t affect their friendship much, but they’re definitely close

once got caught by a security worker sneaking 3 people in 😭😭😭

as mentioned in Animalistic- she’s very willing to help her friends out for anything having to do with their sex lives

if they need her maze, or a toy, or someone to watch and degrade? she’s down !!

she’s pretty passionate about the guitar so her fingers are literally programmed to help her be quick with them. she will use this to your advantage

CHICA ONE NIGHT IM ACTUALLY BEGGING

she LOVES it when someone gets on their knees to eat her out. loves that shit, she leans back and gets comfy

she’s so so cute during aftercare omg. she’s a cuddler.

she would 100% get her partner some cute lil collar or something with her logo that they could wear

her strap giving style is definitely a lot of hip movement and full, quick thrusts

she just gives good dick. she just does.

she’s so good at handjobs stfu. stfu she is. she’s the type to kinda giggle through the whole thing cuz she thinks her partners reactions are adorable

BAD BITCH WANNA FUCKKK 😩😩😩😩

i’m sorry i feel like i might be the only one but LORD she has me giggling and 🤭🤭🤭🤭

i can see her being into giving impact play, but not too hard at all. it’s more of things that lightly to mediumly sting and slap then anything too extreme in that area

if she’s bottoming she’s still a bit of a power bottom

i don’t see her getting all melty and submissive like that

AINT NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT THO ‼️‼️‼️

her pussy probably tastes like strawberries

i hoped you enjoyed! be sure to comment, reblog w tags and comments, and requests!! it really makes my day <3 love you all!

#peachiebumblebee #peachie bumblebee #fnaf security breach x reader #security breach ruin #security breach smut #glamrock chica #glamrock chica smut #glamrock chica x reader #glamrock chica x roxanne wolf #security breach #security breach x reader

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mugentakeda · 5 months

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its like I desperately DO want to explore Iroh maybe emotionally manipulating Zuko his very manipulatable nephew. NOT because I hate Iroh and think his actions in the show are all 100% manipulation but because I love him and how shitty he is. He's like shitty on accident and it's great.

"Whoops accidentally isolated my nephew whoopsies accidentally formed codependency with him. Oh well time to play scrabble" its so slay

THERES THIS UNFINISHED FIC I READ ON AO3 THAT GOES SUPER INTO THIS ACTUALLY i loved it so much it had such a heavy hand in changing how i view iroh (because when i was a wee middle schooler and first watched atla i too viewed uncle iroh as a do-no-wronger). at least the emotionally manipulating part. heres the link if you wanna read it :) now under the cut im about to spazz a bit on the topic of iroh and zuko and im not gonna make anyone read this word vomit unless they really want to LMFAOOO

the way i see it book 1 iroh was still in the dregs of grief over lu ten and was also still dealing w The Order which i imagine had him on thin ice for a WHILE before he managed to score the grand lotus promotion.

i personally dont think iroh was THAT distantly caring of zuko like he was portrayed to be in the fic i linked above and on the contrary i think he was having a Horrible Time during zukos recovery from his burn. but he was still distant in the way that he didnt know zuko that well yet and it was mostly the guilt on top of projecting himself and his feelings about lu ten onto zuko (the first of what will become Many) and thinking along the lines of “how could any father do this to their son, it angers me because id give anything to have lu ten back”, but then once iroh comes to love ZUKO then its “how could ozai do this to zuko”

but despite all that theres still a seven layer salad of problems, miscommunication, misunderstandings, guilt, baggage, and projecting. iroh comes to love zuko fiercely by the end of book 1 after he snaps out of his apathy and is forcibly booted from the ship, therefore a fugitive and therefore harder for The Order to access. SO, he can finally focus on getting ozais venom out of zuko. sadly, as ive said before, iroh only managed to get some of the venom out of himself not even a full decade ago. And its worse, because irohs an older adult.

thats not just a childhood and teenage years of propaganda and crimes. its a whole lifetime. And hes on time limits. sozins comet is coming. his nephew is really good at catching up with the avatar. the order tells him that sentiment and guilt cant get in the way of their goals. its a nice idea to realign zukos ideals with The Orders so iroh has an heir if he decides to take over once they hopefully topple ozai, or if he doesnt want to rule at all so zuko can take over instead- but if ozais venom reaches too deep and zuko cant be helped, The Order will take the measures necessary to remove him from the equation.

between the stress of trying to get zuko aligned with being ok with the avatar toppling his dad and sister and entire nation in less than a year with whatever methods the avatar sees fit, only like a few gallons of his own fire nation bullshit problems being flushed out a few years ago with plenty to spare so hes Really not the best at trying to get his nephew see things iroh himself doesnt even fully see, not realizing that zuko isnt the kind of kid that does well with vague proverbs and prefers it straight forward (and with enough tact to phrase things in ways that wont make him flip out when he hears things hes not ready to hear yet but at the same time without sugar coating), iroh is obviously not gonna do a perfect job.

matter of fact, id go as far to say hes not gonna even do a good job. ill give him one chewed up star and say he did a halfway decent job. a lot of people credit him for getting zuko on the right path as if he was the one that did the heavy lifting, when really he got lucky that zuko managed to pull himself out from under a fucking MOUNTAIN of deeply embedded propaganda and violent physical and emotional abuse trauma in under a few months versus iroh whos still working on it after YEARS. and his doesnt even include the abuse trauma. zuko is strong as fuck and that is his strength and nobody else deserves to be credited for that. iroh gave him pointers and a nudge in the right direction, but didnt give zuko a map and also made him take the route that involved zuko crossing the bridge with an evil goblin that would only let him pass if he solved his riddles three.

but DESPITE ALL OF THAT! despite all of that never getting properly resolved and discussed and brushed over- partly because brykes stinky asses giving irohs character the 180 and making him all ~hoity toity righteous ive never done anything wrong despite my obvious hypocrisy thats so bad it smells~ in book 3, partly because parents like iroh who have 100 million things wrong with them along with being bad at communicating barely Ever get their head right enough to sit and talk these things out with their kids, iroh and zuko still love each other so, so fucking much.

its the little things and the implications that get me the most?? iroh basically collapsing onto zuko during the siege of the north when he leaves zhaos ship and burying his face in zukos chest. zuko telling iroh that for the last time hes NOT playing the tsungi horn. iroh pestering zuko into going back to the port to find a fucking tile for a game that iroh can just buy new of and zuko just growling and stomping off. iroh pumping his fist and grinning at zuko beating up zhao during their agni kai. their banter. his nonchalance at zukos bluntness and rudeness. iroh bothering zuko into going to bed to no avail. his snarky remark at zuko sitting in his room in the dark instead of going on a walk with him. iroh sucking up their argument from the night before over ozai and going with zuko to join azula despite his suspicions while glowering at all the soldiers like a huge snarly bear protecting their cub. like UGHHHH THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!!

its just not a realistic parent child relationship if there arent an equal amount of softness to ease through the complicated tangles.

its the apology plate of cut fruit after the shouting match. you hate it because its like why wont you just say sorry to my face with your words, but then you realize you wouldnt know how to respond in words yourself, so you just eat the shitty cut fruit and say youre sorry back by doing some equally lame act of service later that day just to make the ground fully even again and all is forgiven without even having to say it outloud and both of you are thinking we’ll definitely talk it out later. later wont ever come but the love wont leave anyway so who cares (you both care).

i literally love them SO much dude i dont have enough words they have so many issues we should feed them ibuprofen by the spoonful and put them in a blender

#IM SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LONG ANON #this isnt even the 10 page thesis i told you guys about i could go on longer but i shall Refrain #HEURGHHHHH #asks

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albinocapybara · 1 month

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Finally after being stumped on a name for so long, the LeshyCat children concept is here, first, of course, some info on the parents :)

(Btw im not a native english speaker)

If you have any questions about them or my other headcanons feel free to ask too!

How they met: Due to his injuries making it extremely difficult for him to adjust to his new life in the cult (let alone how he would now have to learn how to live with a mortal body again) on his own, the Yellow Cat (who i will be referring to as "Amare" from now on) was assigned as his caretaker to help him deal with the necessities that came with being a mortal again (sleep, water, physical activities and so on) on top of the problems that came with his injury. While Leshy at first felt insulted by this treatment (the whole "i was a god i can do this without the help of some mortal yada yada" thing), he soon realized it was for the better (while also realizing his feelings for Amare :3).

Leshy: Freed from Purgatory in the cult around 100-ish years after his death and 15 years after Narinder was overthrown by The Lamb. All his high priests and his witness (Amdusias, Valefar, Barbatos and Agares) had passed away before his arrival, making the former and current gods of death the only "familiar" figures in the cult (they both changed so much after their last encounters), although he still avoided both of them most of the time (Narinder because of his conflicting thoughts about the older brother, and The Lamb somewhat out of anger at them but mostly fear due to how traumatic Purgatory was for him), but dont worry they eventually made amends along with the rest of the bishops :). Also became friends with bat follower but she isnt relevant for this post

Amare (the Yellow Cat): Rescued from being sacrificed to the dead bishop of chaos in Darkwood after followers of the Old Faith killed everyone else from his village, works as a farmer in the cult. He was the only follower (aside from the first five followers of the cult, who are kept alive and act as advisors and friends for The Lamb) that knew of Leshy's past as an bishop, and though he still held resentment for the former god, The Lamb's seeming disposition to forgive him made the cat consider doing the same for him, volunteering to be his caretaker. Once their relationship was made official, he was given a golden skull necklace to ensure the two could stay by each other's side for eternity.

Now for the children hehe

They are twins (as ive mentioned in my other posts), a daughter named Camellia (Amare chose the name) and a son named (drumroll please im so proud of this name) Havoc! (Name chosen by Leshy of course).

They both have green moss-like fur from Leshy, and the head shape of a cat from Amare, but other than that their bodies are very distinct due to inheriting different parts from their parents

Havoc: His limbs and tail, as well as his longer whiskers, are from Amare, giving him a silhouette very similar to a cat, aside from the antler-like branches he got from Leshy, he also has two sets of eyes like Leshy used to have once, ironically though, he has rather poor eyesight, needing glasses to see things that are a bit too far. Despite his name he is actually pretty calm and enjoys the peacefulness of the cult, though this doesnt mean he is opposed to some occasional mischief, specially with his sister. Wants to help with teaching when he becomes of age (also im thinking about the idea of having him figure himself out as transfem but thats for another time)

Camellia: her limbs and tail, being from Leshy, are quite a bit longer and thicker than her brother's, giving her a broader and taller silhouette, as well as making her quite a bit stronger physically, she also has only one set of eyes and shorter whiskers than her brother, as well as no branch antlers. Is a very active person, playing with other kids and sometimes helping adults with tasks that wouldnt risk injuring her (most of the time they dont let her though). Also loves doing pranks and other forms of tomfoolery around the cult along with her brother. She is also very protective of him, getting into multiple fights with kids (and a drunk adult one time) who pick on him (aka bullies). Wants to follow her parent's job of farming when she comes of age.

#cotl #cotl leshy #cotl yellow cat #cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb leshy #cult of the lamb yellow cat #cotl leshycat #again if anyone has any questions about them or my other headcanons feel free to ask!#im so proud of the name i came up with for their son #after being stumped on it for so long

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forestryfae · 4 months

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man it is SO nice to find a solution to a really shit problem only for 50 other problems to happen

i am completely alone with zero support in a house i hate, doing as much housework as possible so it can be manageable both in day to day life and so its not hard to just leave when i move, and i still am not getting any help getting rid of the stuff.

i have almost no money and i have to pay to take the train to buy food or neccessities and i was dumb enough to not send a letter sooner so i dont know if ill get my money until after christmas or not, i havent bought more than one christmas gift either cus im fucking broke, and i dont feel anywhere in my body that i want to spend time making something for anyone. my brother still isnt done paying me my money back and literally hasnt talked to me since last time he asked for money, my dad hasnt fucking talked to me in ages and the one time he called in summer it was out of boredom to ask when i was gonna visit them, none of my extended relatives talk to me at all so what the fuck is the point there, and my mom is just. a fucking bitch.

i had her removed as a legal guardian, not even on purpose initially but because folkenemnda or whoever sent her a letter before i was able to have a meeting, so she ofc got fucking offended and now has decided sve cant be involved in anything. she cant call electricians, she cant help fix the house, its "too difficult" for her to have to talk to me or my new legal guardian instead of just buying stuff right away, and she told ME to get a new phone service provider. i had to fix that myself. on top of her being, once again, a useless bitch. dont touch my stuff i say, its fucking embarrassing that you have dirty laundry she implies while moving all my furniture around and doing shit to my kitchen while refusing to acknowledge its my house but still treating it like her own, and not fixing the internet again after they unplugged it.

so i have no access to internet besides my last 150 mb of phone data unless i call some guy to fix it, but they wont be here until next year most likely so its pretty much pointless, and if i buy phone data i have to pay. so if i cant get it fixed ill be literally alone for two weeks straight with no people at all around me and noone i can talk to on the internet. except for fucking. christmas. idk about new years eve. and i dont even fucking like my family, i dont even want to spend time with them, they treat me like shit.

the ac doesnt work since mom got the electricians to look at everything but never actually hired anyone to fix shit and now is completely uncooperative. and after they checked the fireplace in that control like two years ago im not allowed to use it, and mom never actually got that fixed either even though shes been in charge of absolutely everything since forever.

plus both heaters downstairs are set to 27c or max and it still is only like 17 or 19 or so, i have an entire room in the house i straight up cant use cus theres no power and no light and 17c in there and its full of stuff i asked mom to take to the thrift store for me 6 months ago. also i cant leave either heater on if im boiling water or washing dishes cus that overloads the entire fucking thing.

and its just like so much bullshit all at once and ive been spacing out for like 2 hours while writing this cus i get so frustrated and upset and angry and sad. its not fucking fair that my parents literally dont care about me, yet im expected to be fucking sociable and call and visit them and reach out. they didnt reach out to me or support me at all when i was a kid, or a teenager, or an adult, why the fuck would i want to deal with them. but if i dont go to visit them on christmas or i point out that hey. youre not really being fair or nice to me at all, hell breaks loose cus i should be more than happy with the crumbs they give me, as if theyre the best people in the world for fucking. calling once every six months or letting me celebrate a holiday with them.

like. im stuck here for 2 weeks, im broke as shit, no connection to the outside world once i use all my data, i very much am still mentally ill even if im better than before i went inpatient. but once i go back ill have to go back to work and i dont have a psychiatrist to talk to and im not on any meds i think i might need and i havent been tested for anything yet, i havent been had driving practice yet, i can barely talk to my support contact, i need a lot more help than i am being given, im not getting the help i ask for when i do ask for it, and thats on top of shit parents and a shit house and two cats i love but am not sure i can keep given the whole thing where im gone for months at a time. and i just. how the fuck am i supposed to be able to keep a job or ever move out or make friends properly or keep a new apartment or house or be mentally stable. its so much bullshit all at once wtf

#talkies

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apollo-gate · 10 months

Text

Yuri's regret

Hello, So this is different.

This can be confusing as this is Yuri's thoughts and As you know thoughts are confusing. So it sorta jumps here and there. I just want to give a peak into her mind. (I also have another prompt that will be posted later.)

I was once told to be loved was the greatest thing in the universe. I should have known that was a lie. And how you don't see what you had till it's gone. That one I should have paid attention to.

I won't say putting oneself above others isn't right or wrong, but it matters now. The way I grew up was second best to everything because I clawed my way to be an idol at 19. It was pretty common. But I was proud of myself. I didn't do it to be loved not at first no but eventually I lost myself and the reason why I started down this path.

My Mother never cared nor my Farther for that matter. What mattered was my brother the first born. Maybe that's why I laughed when the media said he died in a pile of vomit. I never said I was a good person.

But it felt like I came out on top. But I didn't because I lost the one thing that mattered more than anyone or anything else.

You.

Your smile was there when I needed to be cheered up. Your laugh was so heart-stopping that it made me think I did that. That angelic sound was reserved for me. And your eyes, oh how people made a big deal about them being cat-shaped, but we both knew they were right.

Your eyes were one of the most captivating on you. The first time I saw you I froze. And the anger you hid under them but you never said a word. Then again I never asked why you were so adamant to become an Idol. But I never shared why I did it either.

But what sticks with me still is seeing your face when the scandal hit. And the news of your departure and how they were getting rid of you completely.

I didn't know what to say. Ari wanted to kill me. Sun was so busy with Manager Shwoo to see you. But if she did she would have hit me. I don't know why I felt proud.

Sure I was getting the position I always wanted. Then again it meant ruining you in the process. And I wasn't able to comfort you this time instead sweet Haneul did that.

I couldn't come to you and apologize because at that moment I wasn't myself. Now in the present, it's different sure we're all together but you're not here now.

The fans know but they stopped asking after a while and Sun I haven't seen her smile or smirk in a long time. Just a business relationship. Then Ari and Haneul still hate me but put on a good facade for the public. It's easy to lie when all you've ever done is lie.

I used to run to you when a new book came out or the movie adaptation was made and be so excited to watch it with you. You never looked at me like I was weird no you got just as excited. I don't read much anymore not since that night.

I really did fuck you and us over. I miss your smell and the sound of your voice. I miss how you would say to everyone that we have to hug before the show as you called it. I never knew how great your hugs were until you were gone.

I can say I made a mistake but I wasn't a child no I was an adult I was older and in my own stupid head decided I was more important.

Maybe I don't deserve love at least not yours.

You should have dated Haneul. You were a few months older but still closer in age. If I didn't pursue you maybe things would have been different.

I wonder if you blame the stage malfunction on me as well. I would.

Your last stage performance was ruined and we no I couldn't go to the hospital to see you.

I still remember the news of the new group being talked about at the office and you being a part of it. I can't say I was surprised but then again you were hardworking.

Maybe one day I can say im sorry. Maybe in another life we can get our happy ending. Because this is just miserable amd I deserve far worse.

#the idols mark if #snippet

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hatgame · 1 year

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UMUMUM *shakes sputters shakes sputters*

HI IM THAT ANON THAT REQUESTED U DRAW MOONJUMPER THAT ONE TIME *i still cry in happiness abt that everyday btw thank you!!!*

BUT UHH...CANN U TELL ME MORE ABT UR THOUGHTS ON SWEETENED DEAL? (Snatcher x Cooking Cat) I THINK ITS REALLY CUTE OKAY BYE THANK YOU! *peddles away on my Dora big wheel bike*

oh hello :) im glad you liked that drawing! & sure ^_^ glad you like it too

i commonly see it interpreted as snatcher n cc acting as hats parents and while that's sweet its not how i see it at all. i like them a lot more as her adult friends who take care of her every now and then but ultimately leave and trust her to handle her stuff, not taking that much responsibility. im not sure what thatd entail but older sibling snatcher (to hat) is kind of fun i guess. EMPRESS IS BOWS AUNT FOREVER THOUGH this im hellbent on.

ok i think i wanna talk about how ccs relationship w hat n snatcher developed. i always thought of cc as someone hat is the most verbal with, relying everything that's happened to her to him. while enthralled, proud and concerned, i dont think ccs that protective of her, hes shown to be much less responsible than people usually write her as tbh. she trusts hats capabilities n skills but still definitely recognizes that she is a child in need of support, and shes certainly warm and affectionate with her, but at the same time its not intruding or obligate, like a parents affection.

i think cc would be somewhat intrigued by what's up w snatcher because their behavior is so puzzling, probably especially so from hats retellings. once snatcher becomes a regular on hats ship (not his territory=cant assert hinself as much as he does in forest), where they probably meet, i dont think shed be intimidated at all, because i dont honestly think hed try to create that impression (it certainly didn't in the cut cafe scene. like, youd expect them to force someone to pay for them, but they're just kinda docile. they cant even get the people around them to answer their question lol)

i think snatchers like immediately completely pacified by ccs presence. i dont think theyd speak at all either. its lije those silent films where you have to rely on expressions and body language to tell what means what. its a little funny abd disarming because its clear they DO want to get something across, and thats a friendly gesture. it signals engagement abd cintact being established. snatcher would probably struggle with non scripted speech so this sort of communication would probably feel the least threatening. also would add to their already strange and interesting image in ccs mind

while idk how likely snatchers would be to actually do that ive been imagining him curling up in the pillows and napping only to wake up to cc sleeping either on top of or near them, since cuddle piles are probably common among cats + ccs impulsive. they probably would straight up forget to react. maybe they wake up to cc kneading them, make eye contact. one of them remembers cat social cues and slow blinks. other one slow blinks back. snatcher lies back down allowing itself to be kneaded. cc lies down on it. it changes position to be closer to it. not a single word said the whole time. its never brought up again but not forgotten.

uhh if they do eventually begin dating and hats there to witness it she probably wouldnt care much. bow would go awwwww Aawww though. mu is disappointed in ccs taste but probably warms up to snatcher eventually since they have a lot in common + snatcher mu friendship real and important to me

Ok this is not all but ill stop now. hope you enjoyed :) thank you for the ask. i really really loved dora the explorer as a kid

#text #dove dont look #sweetened deal

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homenecromancer · 1 year

Text

a lot of the time, i have a hard time realizing that im feeling an emotion unless i actively sit down and work through it a bit.

and this whole spring i've been like. well my general anxiety has been way worse, my ability to deal with things is all over the map, i have trouble sleeping without sleep medication, i've noticed myself pulling away from even socializing online... when i think about my hysterectomy coming up, i don't feel happy. i feel nervous and a little scared. i worry that i'm going to get a phone call telling me that my insurance company has decided not to pay. holy shit, do i worry about that.

(like, two days ago i was on a conference call with someone from my rheumatologist's office + someone who works with my insurance company, and things eventually boiled down to: the insurance company refuses to add a preferred name to my account, and they won't accept documents with anything but my birth name on them, so now i'm back to being "[birth name] but with a note on my file to call me a different name" at my rheumatologist.)

it wasn't like that when i was waiting for my top surgery.

but that was 2018.

and i did not think, then, that in five years, every time i checked the news i would be bracing myself for new anti-trans legislation, and praying it wouldn't be in my state. it doesn't feel like i'm waiting to walk through a door to a different state of being; it feels like i'm running and trying to escape a trap. when i think about the future it's in terms of "what can i survive, and how?". i wanted joy, not desperation.

my state is relatively supportive of trans people, but it is surrounded by states that are proposing and passing a tide of transphobic legislation. and while this state leans more Democrat than it did in the past, there is still a Republican history in this state. there are people here who would be happy to vote to make it illegal for me to get hormones, to use my own name, to change my legal gender marker.

sometimes i wonder if part of the reason that i am mostly treated okay in public is that i'm visibly disabled, and a lot of abled people view disabled people as the diet versions of adults. (people tend to see someone visibly disabled and immediately decide "oh, they're disabled, so they obviously don't drink / fuck / do any 'normal' adult activity"). so i'm not getting invisibly graded on my ability to pass as an adult man, not the way i would if i weren't disabled; anything odd about me gets brushed off as "oh, the poor thing is disabled" rather than "i knew it, he's not actually a man".

i don't really participate in real-world queer community, for reasons that are like... considerably related to depression/anxiety. i am happy to call myself queer, but i don't feel like i belong anywhere in particular in the community, or that anyone would have interest in my opinions, experiences, or feelings, for reasons i do not wish to elaborate on. (also, every group i have found that i might be interested in meets somewhere far away from where i live, on a day and at a time when i am usually at work. like even the teleconference groups i've found are like that. lmao at living in the suburbs.) usually i can just patch that feeling of loneliness over, but sometimes it really drags me down.

i'm just tired of being scared all the time.

#personal #transphobia in the news has me down :|

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fereldanwench · 1 year

Text

just some somewhat vague personal life ramblings under le cut:

(cw for mental health stuff) ((im okay now but i definitely wasn't lmao))

i had a really good talk with my brother last week--we were seriously on the phone for almost 4 hours--and I'm not gonna get into most of the specifics, but it was very enlightening and validating on some lifelong struggles we both dealt with in our family and how that's impacted us as adults. (although i think they impacted me more as the oldest daughter.)

more specifically, i did talk a lot about how i was fucking miserable last fall, and i knew i was miserable in the moment, but i don't think i did fully realize to what extent. i just could not dig myself out of the mental hole, and every time i tried, it just felt like quicksand--struggling to get out just made me feel like i was sinking deeper. yanno. classic depression shit.

and a lot of it is related to my professional life. tl;dr - last spring i had to go back to a job i hate because i couldn't find anything else and my husband was about to lose his job at the time, and it's almost been a year and i'm still getting fucked over by being in this psuedo-manager position while i am not being paid for it despite ten months worth of meetings trying to rectify this.

i wanted (still want) out so bad, but i couldn't even update my resume or look at job listings without just completely spiraling. the job-hunting process just felt... worse than being employed at a job i hate, i guess. not feeling like i could find a good match, the stupid corporate lingo in listings, easy applies not actually being easy, recruiters who never actually read my resume, dehumanizing interviews, straight-up scams--i couldn't fucking do it.

and on top of that, i had to carry me and the husband financially for about half a year. i don't want to rehash all that, but suffice to say i just felt like everything was on me, and i had no one to turn to for anything. he did find something that ended up being a really good fit, and he's been working for about 4.5 months now, which did help my mental state a lot. but even that took a while to mend those particular struggles.

but i think having an honest, empathetic conversation about all of this was really what i needed to move forward. i had just been burying so much of this deep down for so long that i was just never in the right mental place to actually fucking deal with it and move on.

and then last night i just got a burst of motivation and finally updated my resume, and i didn't even feel the urge to cry, lmao. not once. still wish evil things on people who write job listings but baby steps.

however, i'm actually not in a huge rush at this exact moment to leave my current job despite my many grievances--we don't get vacation leave until at least a year of employment, so i have to wait until this may to get a whopping two weeks of paid leave. i can stick out another two months for that.

i would like to be out by the end of this summer at the latest, though, and i would l like to not have to rush into another job that'll end up fucking me over one way or another. so i definitely need to start the process now.

and it's basically spring here! i got my little porch garden going yesterday which is like an automatic mental boost. loving the sunshine and warm, but not stiflingly hot, afternoons 💐☀️🌿

#t: wench.txt

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spotsupstuff · 2 years

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Another question I have is about Clem. As she eventually starts to grown into a teenager and a young adult does she ever struggle with gaining further independence /freedom from her 3 dads? I would imagine they would gain a sense of overprotectiveness due to LBD.

I DID get ur og question about this! (Im so fuckin sorry its been over two weeks now) N I’ve had a multiple brainstorm sessions between me myself n I cuz of it which is the main reason that it’s been takin this long Originally I wanted to say No mostly cuz I haven’t written parents like that before n I’m not,,, exactly familiar with that kinda parenting so I wasn’t sure if pokin that kinda stuff is smth I could Do Right, but egh fuck it, makes sense for them to go into a hyperdrive n I could use the practice instead of shyin away from it

Therefore; Yah! Each is a bit different tho Mister Gao is the only one who ups his protective game Because of the whole WBS deal- both cuz of the obvious long term of Clem’s absence which yanno basically means she was declared dead And because mister Gao already lost his wife so Clem is the last surviving biological part of his family. One can understand why he’s internally screamin bout this

Sam Gao-Woods is the only one who’s trynna hold back on the protectiveness cuz he sees how apeshit mister Gao is with it n so he’s like “Aight, I’m p sure the wee thing needs a breathin room Somewhere, so I’m gon be it.”. He still cares so so much for Clem, but he lets his love manifest rather as freedom than a methaphorical choke hold

Now Six Ear is interestin cuz his overprotectiveness doesn’t have anythin to do with WBS at all. Even after s3 finale he is still kinda in love with the idea of her. Six Ear with therapy is still Six Ear which means tendency to be a control freak is a thing and stalkin is basically a second nature to him For the first few years it’s not that bad especially cuz Clem doesn’t have any desire to really Expand her personal space n rather wants her dads to be as close as possible cuz of depriving her time with WBS- possessed or not- was

But Yah, as she starts growin she starts requiring more privacy, as she starts healing n going into teenagehod her emotions start to get more intense (therefore kinda explosive) and on TOP of All That at 16 her WBS powers start to show up more than just making her pupils glowing white Thats gon end up bein an arc between her n Six (n kinda mister Gao- he gets spooked by the stuff happenin between the former two which prompts him to address his own overprotectiveness). The fact that Six still harbours positive feelings towards WBS doesn’t sit right with Clem and when she tells him, as her only magically skilled father, what’s happening with her, his reaction is mostly positive and as if he was Expecting this which pisses her off cuz she is absolutely distraught about this They end up having an argument during which Six pulls the oppressing parent card cuz he obviously knows best and Clem ends up blurting out something serious that she didn’t actually mean which results in Six gritting his teeth and walking away This part isn’t 100% solid yet, but cut few days later, Clem hasn’t seen a single sign of Six Ear yet, he isn’t answerin text messages or calls and when she comes to lao Zhu’s noodle shop to ask about him everybody just shrugs. So basically the “child chases after a parent to fix everything” thing (😬) happens on purpose from my side n from HERE I ain’t got the events solidly planned. I’d LIKE to sneak a physical fight between the two in Some kinda way in here- Six is obviously not goin all out, maybe it could culminate in Clem blowing up with the ice powers (similarly to canon- who knows, knows. 👁) which forces Six to take this seriously, idk yet

#Spot says stuff #lmk #mk gao clementine #mk macaque #mk mister gao #mk samuel gao-woods #fruit twins au

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haloburns · 1 year

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I posted 23,071 times in 2022

204 posts created (1%)

22,867 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@who-is-page

@ruffboijuliaburnsides

@tukoism

@dp-marvel94

@roundaboutnow

I tagged 1,885 of my posts in 2022

#danny phantom - 115 posts

#the world is having more fun than me tonight series - 94 posts

#ecto writes - 91 posts

#ecto fics - 88 posts

#my fics - 72 posts

#my au - 35 posts

#ml spoilers - 31 posts

#the batman 2022 - 26 posts

#strike back spoilers - 26 posts

#my writing - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#nor did the fact that i could already read do me any favors bc i was like immediately singled out and elevated to the 1st grade reading cla

My Top Posts in 2022:

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag others. No skipping!

thanks for tagging me @roundaboutnow !!

i'm gonna use my invisobang playlist that i can't share the title of yet. it's my fav right now.

1. same direction - hoobastank (honestly hoobastank fucks)

2. getting away with murder - papa roach (a classic)

3. be my escape - relient k (my beloved)

4. make it stop (september's end) - rise against (this song makes me cry)

5. until the day i die - story of the year (a perfect ghost light song, ive had it on all my songs)

6. for you, and your denial - yellowcard (oh this song fucks too. the violin man. the violin.)

7. last night on earth - green day

8. saying sorry - hawthorne heights

9. devil in the mirror - black veil brides (this song is so good for this fic...)

10. give it all - rise against

@redead-red @jadenoryuu @omnicrafts (share those crossover playlists babe!!) @floralflowerpower @bibliophilea and anyone else that wants to join in!

31 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

with every sin, i still wanna be holy

Dan wants to be better. But that means dealing with his past (future?) actions and starting to make amends and acknowledging how he's hurt these people in his life. It's hard than he'd like to admit. Part of the the world is having more fun than me (tonight) series.

Lancer,

I dunno why I’m writing this. It’s stupid. I’m not even gonna send it. You don’t even know who I am! Clockwork did his meddling with time bullshit so you don’t remember me.

No one remembers me

You were my favorite teacher, yknow. You were the only one who actually gave even a little fuck about me. All my other teachers wrote me off as just another dumb lazy kid. No one knew of course.

Oh I guess I should tell you. I’m… Danny Phantom. Sort of. It’s a big mess of things, but Fenton is Phantom. That little punk Weston kid was right. That's why I missed so many assignments and always fell asleep in class. I promise I wasn’t a bad kid, Mr Lancer.

I guess I just needed to tell you who I was. So you would be understanding or some shit. Maybe so I wouldn’t feel like I failed every adult in my life.

Whatever. It’s not like I’m sending this anyway.

Dan