#and she kept referring to it as the devil lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zalrb · 7 years

Text

This episode was SO jokes {TVD 8x15 Review}

Hi all! You know the deal. I write my thoughts in real time so anything I saw at the beginning that might be a mistake may be corrected by the end. This review will have anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments and will most likely have references to other shows and to the misogynoir, anti-blackness and racism in the narrative. If you do not like it, you do not have to read this. Are you ready? OK! Let's go. 1. So I'm stopping a very promising Kdrama to watch this. The Kdrama is called Mirror of the Witch, I'm on the first episode and already there are more consequences in this drama than all eight seasons of TVD. So far it looks exceptionally dark and mean-spirited, I think it might actually disturb me. Anyway. It's still entirely ridiculous that Cade's last words are “Go to hell.” Like why? Also why would Stefan say, “You first”? Wasn't Cade already in hell? Like didn't he sort of create it? And now he's just ... dead? What was that dialogue? 2. I like how opening the door to Cade's world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that's such a small scale, shouldn't it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I'm confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see. 3. Also I should mention I have a cold and I took cough syrup and it SAYS non-drowsy but last night I was knocked the fuck out so if I get a little loopy near the end, it could be that. Or it could be that watching TVD has finally addled my brain. Who knows. 4. They really do hype Katherine way too much. 5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be. 6. But now she's on my keyboard. It's like she's trying to spare me. 7. The lighting in this episode seems to be darker than normal, I can barely see anything. 8. I think it's funny that Caroline keeps waking up expecting to see Stefan and he's not there. 9. Matt's hair is SO stupid though. LIKE WHY. 10. I have it paused because the video is loading still but like seriously, he looks thoroughly unattractive like this and out of character I think Zach is pretty cute, so like ugh, why am I subjected to this. 11. Why do we care about Matt's dad again? 12. Or his mother for that matter. 13. Like remember when she came to town and then made out with Damon and then they discovered Vicki was dead and she made out with Tyler? Or was Tyler first and then Damon? Either way, she's messy af. The only interesting dynamic was her and Caroline and Elena. She's pointless. 14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn't Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn't Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever. 15. Real talk, I already feel kinda woozy but it's fine it's like being buzzed and it's probably the only way I will get through this episode. 16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn't getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone's best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck. 17. That red looks nice on Kat. 18. I like how Katherine is in this world, everything is supposed to be going to shit and Matt isn't like “Mom, Dad, I hate you but you need to leave town because you could possibly die” he's just like yeah fam, I'm rescheduling our awkward dinner date. Like lol. It would be more interesting if he didn't give a shit if they died but this is just the writers being the writers. In Buffy, when the Mayor is supposed to devour all of Sunnydale, Buffy forces her mother to leave town and tells her if she doesn't her presence will get her [Buffy] killed. 19. I love Stefan's face when Damon says “she's obsessed with Stefan” like BITCH WHO TOLD YOU TO TALK? 20. Why does it have to be a wedding though? It could just as easily be an engagement party or a rehearsal dinner, like sooooooooooo forced. 21. I mean, I don't blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she's cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I'm just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don't know the web they've created with these characters and understand that they've turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 22. And as a non-Beremy shipper, I still think Bonnie loved Jeremy more than Enzo and Beremy was a problematic af ship but at least some things were halfway earned, Bonenzo is pure dialogue, fam. 23. Oh and looks. 24. I don't even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn't new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan's first rodeo? 25. My video keeps fucking buffering. I might switch sites because I love myself too much to drag this out longer than I have to. Because I am only eight minutes in, that's not gonna fly. 26. OK so everything is just buffering. I was supposed to have my data back, what is this. 27. Right now I have it paused on Damon. I really don't get what anons mean when they tell me his arms are huge. Like I don't see it. 28. WHO CARES ABOUT MATT'S MOM? What's her name again? Kelly? 29. Is she dying? 30. She's dying. 31. Oh she's dead. Ish. 32. “Oh please don't be mad at me, Caroline” that actually sounded like Stefan was talking to his mother. 33. Yeah this BE scene is giving me nothing. 34. Liz did a TERRIBLE job protecting MF, who are we kidding? And toasting with your rape victim about how her mother became your best friend and now her daughter will be your family is disgusting. 35. Lol yes use the SE necklace that Damon kept taking to give it to Caroline on her wedding day for Stefan because we're ignoring how important that necklace was to SE, sure. 36. Seriously, Caroline looks at Alaric with more love than she does Stefan. Like just marry him, y'all are more compatible and have more chemistry than you and Stefan anyway. Like omg. 37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan. 38. “I want to be a part of your happiness” I mean I guess. I don't like Bonnie being arbitrary in her blame for Stefan but like can the girl be selfish and feel what she feels when she feels it for once? And indulge? Like?? 39. I also find it interesting that Stefan and Caroline don't have a private moment before the wedding, like I know this isn't how we wanted to do this blah blah blah. They're so segregated even when they're together. 40. Do the writers not know of any alcohol other than bourbon? 41. The slow mo doesn't change the deadened expression on Paul's face, guys. Sorry. 42. Also Alaric's speech is stupid, who becomes “family” with the people who have continuously terrorized your life and are responsible for the people you've lost? Like that's when you see a psychiatrist because you have serious emotional issues. 43. “You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness.” WHEN WAS THIS? NO LEGIT WHEN? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. Madly in love, you don't even look madly in love, you look SO chill. OMG. 44. LOL bout you've been ready since you saw him at school. You were on his jock for one episode, then you onto Damon and were unfortunate enough to be his victim, then it was Matt, then it was Tyler, then it was Klaus, then it was Tyler then it was Jesse then it was Klaus then it was Stefan. Girl bye. 45. That SC dance looks SO AWKWARD. LOL SLOW MO DOESN'T MAKE SHIT BETTER UNLESS IT'S ALREADY GOOD 46. Of course Matt's dad isn't dead. I mean he got stabbed when it was light out and now it's dark but he's still gurgling. Jesus. We met him THIS season, Julie, you can kill the irrelevant fucker off. 47. I don't know why Caroline is STILL wearing the necklace. 48. HER NAME IS KELLY. I WAS RIGHT. 49. Why isn't Caroline vamp speeding into the house? 50. Really? That's your reaction to your kids potentially dying? 51. So like the smoke is having no effect on Bonnie? 52. And them siphoning her doesn't hurt? 53. Caroline is legit calm when she thought her kids were dead for a minute. 54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN'T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it's against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. 55. STEFAN WHY DON'T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE'S PULSE? Final thoughts: This episode didn't enrage me like I thought it would, it's just thoroughly ridiculous because it attempts to haphazardly rewrite history and Paul was such a lacklustre groom, like faaaam, those vows were horrible. And Caroline and Stefan are just so isolated from each other, like they don't feel like a couple or a pair, they don't feel like one, it's so very cold. Kelly coming back with her daughter to destroy MF is like, I mean I guess, Katherine's plan isn't even original, Stefan was going to burn MF to the ground first anyway, like we're seriously recycling plots in the same season too? This was actually laughably bad.

#the vampire diaries #stefan salvatore #tvd #TVD 8x15 #TVD review #TVD we're planning a June wedding #anti-tvd #anti julie plec #anti caroline dries #we're planning a june wedding #TVD meta #TVD spoliers #meta #review

102 notes · View notes