#and tbh i want to indulge in my hyperfixation while i still have it!

[straighttohellbuddy]

Okay, I'm always interested in learning more about 'but you're talking in your sleep'. Obviously lvjy song and the mc's/your interest in literature are two important story details. How did you decide to intertwine those? Like, did you read you are jeff and decide to make a fic off of it, or did was it the songs that inspired it? Why did you decide to do both? Idek if this makes sense, tbh. But I'd love to know your though process, in general, regarding that fic.

oh YO this is perfect I love you im gonna ramble for a bit !!

also context; read but you're talking in your sleep (Wilbur/Sister-Innit!Reader)

So initially I was hyperfixated on Pebblebrain when it came out (weren't we all) and my song flavour was Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? and the very first idea I had was about the reader and Wilbur being best friends and former FWB after the reader starts dating a fuckboi, which I realised I've already kind of talked about here, but I'm happy to reiterate that the line 'say my name in her sleep/i thought you knew her better than me' and Wilbur just being the cockiest motherfucker without a shred of self awareness that he is very in love with the reader and that's the main reason he hates her boyfriend (who is also just a tool).

the idea to intertwine the lvjy and specifically siken is so unbelievably self indulgent; he's my favourite poet and has been for years, and Litany In Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out has been my favourite poem for a very long time. as for You Are Jeff, i can't remember exactly, but I think I saw the first few lines of the last stanza in like a webweave while I was looking for inspiration and I realised 'you're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you he loves you, but he loves you' is the most precious, perfect summary of reader & wilbur's dynamic in the fic. this was also the basis of the part of the reader's characterisation where they always used allusions/implications/other people's words when they were afraid of speaking the truth. a few of these moments that i want to point out;

the first one is of course Do I Wanna Know?

literally all of the lyrics for this song. i tried to pick a few but holy shit all of this song -- the first time the song's mentioned when it's Y/N's karoke choice and then immediately calling Wilbur right after they'd chosen it I think the key lyrics are; 'Have you no idea that you're in deep? / I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week / How many secrets can you keep? / 'Cause there's this tune I found / That makes me think of you somehow an' I play it on repeat / Until I fall asleep, spillin' drinks on my settee

the second time the song is mentioned is when Y/N and Wilbur go out to a pub with his flatmates in brighton and she starts humming it when they head to his bedroom, and it's just the whole second verse; So have you got the guts? / Been wonderin' if your heart's still open / And if so, I wanna know what time it shuts / Simmer down an' pucker up, I'm sorry to interrupt / It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of tryin' to kiss you / I don't know if you feel the same as I do / But we could be together if you wanted to

the one that personally might break my fucking heart that Y/N is very familiar with Jubilee Line, which is already a fucking bleak song especially since she lives in London, and later has some implications about how if she didn't leave London she was going to jump in front of a train, but there's a little moment in the first chapter when she's on the phone with Wilbur right before she decides to come visit him --  “I’m everywhere. My mind’s everywhere. The walls shout back, I didn’t realise they could do that, or start the argum- I’m not making sense. I’m sorry.” -- it's such a blink and you'll miss it allusion but she's making a point to hide the truth she knows about Mark and her relationship by reference Jubilee Line and the lyrics 'shout at the walls because the walls don't fucking love you'.

In the final part, when Wilbur comes to pick up Y/N from the french cafe, and she's quietly moved by how much he cares about her in a way other people in her life seem not to -- before turning and beaming at him, thanking him again for coming all this way, adding that he didn’t need to worry; ‘no cause for concern’ is how you worded it, deliberate. -- Because 1) 'We ain't gonna hurt you' but also, as much as there is a more romantic final chorus to that song, she is also like 'you could knock the wind out of my breath / you could knock the teeth out of my head / and still it's no cause for concern' like she loves this boy who drove to another country for her, he can do whatever he wants forever in her books.

and one other one off the top of my head is the fact that the name she'd hidden Wilbur as in her phone is Pandora as a reference to the text conversation when they'd reconnected, yes, but also because He Gives Her Hope.

and now, on this already long post, im going to talk about the lovejoy lyrics that were "inspired" by Y/N in the fic (when its really the other way around)

Sex Sells gets an in-canon one; But the song he’d written about how Mark doesn’t love you he just loves that you’re his, that you hate him but you keep going back to him for reasons Wilbur still doesn’t fully understand, and now on top of it all you know that Wilbur can’t stop fucking thinking about it, about you, even when he’s trying to sleep? It’s accurate, and everything tastes like ash in his mouth for several bitter moments. How’d it go again? How’s it feel to be so loved, yet so alone? He’s got his answer, can hear it in your sobs as you sit on the steps of your boyfriend’s apartment two hours away.

So lets go through Pebblebrain

Oh Yeah, You Gonna Cry? is obviously a huge one lol, with a lot of what i drew Fucking Mark from;

You got the same eyes as your father / And you carry the same kind of temper too / But what a shame for the people of the community -- which ties directly in with another of the songs i'll get to, and this line from a flashback; “It’s a good school, though, I’m glad I got in, and Mark, he’s- he’s really sweet. It’s brave of him to move, even though I’m on campus and he’s not; none of his family’s lived outside of Nottingham for generations,” the face you’re making is close to a smile, to anyone else they might mistake it as such, but there’s a wrinkle in the bridge of your nose, a tightness at the edge of your smile, “he’s training to go into the same line of work as his dad, he’s just glad he can do it here,” you laugh, but there’s no humour in it.

But I quite like your girlfriend! / How the fuck 'd she end up with you? -- i think this speaks for itself

And she told me that she fuckin' hates you -- regarding the moment; Later, he’ll ask the question that’s been plaguing him, ask if you even like your boyfriend. Later, you’ll be wrapped up in his sheets, stretched out on his bed as your whole face scrunches like you’ve bitten a lemon, and he’ll have no idea what you mean when you tell him that that hasn’t mattered in a very long time.

the whole song is about Mark in this fic. the whole song. i love it so much.

Model Buses could also be arguably about Mark in some respects but I've held myself back from putting that thought into the fic.

I don't think Concrete has any real connections to the fic either, however.......

PERFUME, BAYBEEEEEEE

in the context of the fic, it's written mostly after the reader goes home from brighton after their affair with wilbur where they're clearly in love with each other and he's struggling to deal with that in a healthy way by writing the song. i could add analysis for LITERALLY EVERY LINE but i wont. just know it's all Y/N

It's 3:45 (AM) / And I just bite my tongue / Update me on your life / And now you've found the one / But I don't like his eyes -- hence his building almost resentment whenever they call him when drunk and insisting that mark's not as bad as he seems

And I can still smell her perfume -- because it's on his damn pillows.

You say your ex-boyfriend's a policeman / Well, I say you need better standards -- you remember how i said a line in OYYGC links to another song, well it's this, now, because with Y/N talking about Mark training to go into the same field as his dad, we also get this reveal, despite not drawing attention/connecting it to the earlier mention of Mark's chosen career being the same as his dad's; “Mark’s dad’s been chief of police in our town for as long as I can remember,” Tommy says with a sigh.

Why can't you be a dick? / Why must you be so nice? / It's hard for me to move on / When I don't really hate you / (I don't really hate you) -- this one's a lot of things, it's Wilbur fully acknowledging that he should not be cool with Y/N cheating emotionally and physically on her partner but still making peace with it despite the turmoil the situation has caused him. it's also him kind of frustrated at how despite Y/N rightfully calling him out for writing such a spiteful song as Sex Sells, they didn't take it as badly as they could have, and so he acknowledges that he doesn't actually believe what the song is saying about them. it's ALSO a deliberate echo of this moment; “I wish I could hate you more for this, but I don’t,” you mumble, soft and a little forlorn, heart not in your words as his aches. He should have kept that song to himself, like his gut had told him to.

You'll Understand When You're Older is an interesting one because I appreciate the actual meaning of the song a lot, but i also like adding my own to it, so the context here is it's half inspired by the Y/N situation and half by current events;

It must be nice to be the reason / His work, it ain't so bleak / That must be what motivates you -- there's spite here as he considers how little Mark appreciates Y/N and her love and kindness, with the veiled implication of 'if Wilbur were in Mark's situation these lyrics would be sincere'.

All he needs is to see you smiling / And well, you light up his whole week -- that implication and subtext moves straight up to text here. Wilbur is just talking about himself here.

Imagine thе kind of things he'd do to you / If there wеren't so many cameras -- calling back to their almost moment when Y/N had sat in on Wilbur's stream in brighton, refusing to reveal their identity;

“If you’ve got something to say,” insufferably smug, he watches you puff out your cheeks. Averting your gaze, you flip him off, hand in frame for the camera to see, “sook,” he teases, “just say what’s on your mind.” For a moment, your mouth drops open as if you’re about to say something, to call his bluff, but your gaze flicks to his webcam. What’s on my mind, you mouth pointedly when you look back to him; something about your expression has turned bashful for reasons he can’t quite fathom. You glance quickly at the camera again before shaking your head, you wish, you mouth, but can’t quite look him in the eye. There’s a serious moment where he considers ending the stream, because this feels like it could be a moment, a chance. He’s a hypocrite, he can’t begin to say what’s on his mind, won’t give himself the chance, getting back to his stream after another brief moment and a deep breath.

and of course;

And you're keeping a dark secret / But you're talkin' in your sleep -- Y/N loves Wilbur, not her longterm boyfriend. wilbur knows this because she talks in her sleep. <3

The Fall again isn't relevant.

and finally, in the fic, a lot of the lyrics and vibes were completed not too long after Y/N and Wilbur reconnected, before Are You Alright was even released, but Wilbur will never in his life (in this fic lol) admit that It's All Futile! It's All Pointless! was a heartbreaking hybrid of his own feelings/experiences, and kind of who Y/N had become in the two years since they'd seen each other, also what he had seen a little bit of after she reconnected with Mark when she and Wilbur had first met, while wilbur still tries to act like he's not in love with her. but it is, and he is.

HOLY SHIT OKAY THATS SO MANY WORDS but also a lot of that ive been holding onto for SO LONG and im so glad i got the chance to talk about it. seriously anything else abt the fic you wanna talk about because I love it TO DEATH. every day i fight the urge to explain the entire 46 song fic playlist. i lov u.

#wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur imagine #wilbur soot imagine #bytiys #shut ur pretty mouth

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

#genshin impact #jean x reader #jean x reader genshin impact #jean x reader genshin #amber x reader #amber x reader genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #albedo x reader #albedo x reader genshin #albedo x reader genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #is it obvious that i have a soft spot for albedo

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

[glowstickia]

Fic Writer Interview

asdfsdfdsaf fuckin forgot I was tagged by @demonic-cultivar until I looked at my tabs OOPS

Name: call me Glow - Glowstickia on here & ao3

Fandoms: Currently writing fallout since like its still holding strong as a hyperfixation and I made a fallout sideblog SO- let’s go with that. I’ve written for other fandoms, but shit comes and goes man lol.

Where you post: AO3, and very rarely here mostly because I love italics and tumblr does not. The amount of times I’ve had to manually edit in my italics... basically, I’m stubborn and don’t want to look through a wall of text I’ve already stared at for x amount of time just to like post it with no idea if people will actually see it why should I spend 20mins - an hour making sure I got all the spots with italics?

Most Popular One-shot: Not surprised its uh, the one crossover ship fic I wrote back in 2014. So it has age and also rarity in making it the perfect storm lol I don’t wanna talk about it. Good on past me for writing it, but its old writing and I can’t stand it tbh. I’m glad people like and enjoy it. I’m keeping it around for all yall.

Most Popular Multichap: Counterbalance - my old paranatural choose your own adventure fic I wrote 3 years ago. Nice :3 Felt the planets align for that fic and goddamn I love choose your own adventure stories haha. Maybe I’ll write another one someday...

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Honestly? One of my fallout fics, partially cause they’re more recent, but also goddamn I’ve felt a lot of growth with them...

-On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away - the beginnings of my psyker oc Echo’s journey. I’m still very much working on it and like feeling renewed vigor cause hot damn something clicked in me. Words are difficult and hard and I’m still in absolute aw of like writing fuckin 5k word chapters. @_@

I really love the “series” [Echoes of You] I’m writing. While I am jumping around a bit, it feels good and I’m honestly enjoying writing it. Its...definitely self indulgent for a few reasons. I love the paranormal and sprinkling in spooky shit, also taking and repurposing canon that had a lot of potential but fell flat lol

Fic you were nervous to post: Most of my fics I’m nervous to post for varying degree of reasons. Lately tho, I’ve reach the point of saying “Fuck it.” and posting. I’m ya’lls problem now!

How do you choose your titles: Sometimes I use the single word prompt that lead to the fic being created. Other times I just use song titles that relate to said fic in some shape or form.

Do you outline: LOOOOOL not really haha. I mostly have like a general idea that’s written down. Very rarely is shit like outlined...that’s mainly because of like if my brain learns the ending of things then it’s like “oh okay cool we’re done!” and then just walk out the door when shit is nowhere near close to being done. Its that adhd.

Complete: 57 on ao3 askdhsdf Damn. Not bad. Had to math a bit lol.

In progress: ....so many...so fuckin many....possibly 12 in like various stages.

Coming soon/not yet started: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY. The problem with adhd is like...sometimes you just get bombarded with a shit ton of ideas. I have...a shit ton of WIPs and so many notes for things... the amount is ???.

Prompts?: I mean, if you want to? I’m chill with accepting shit and I do get ideas from them, but haha goddamn I’m veeeeeery slow at writing. But its also gotta be the fandom I’m like currently interested in writing and TBH I do best with like single word prompts. Gives me more wiggly creative room ya know.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Interview with a Piper! Yes. the title is indeed a reference to that one book series thing that I’ve never read and it has 0 things to do with vampires hahahaha But its what brain said it wanted to work on atm so that’s what i’ll work on I guess :3

tagging: @allislaughter, @its-sixxers, @saintdeanthomas, @kineticallyanywhere, @achamocha, @potatocrab, @deacons-wig, AND THE PERSON READING THIS! YOU YES YOU! IF YOU WANNA DO IT! I TAG AT THEE

#tag meme #as told by glow #oh hey its midnight

[bondsmagii]

hi! so i'm studying for my national finals and it's getting to me, having breakdowns every other evening and not even getting much done haha anyway how would you recommend i maintain my aesthetic while getting those grades to go to uni? thanks

it sounds like you need a dose of my... I don’t even know what I call it tbh but it’s the aesthetic where I feel like a responsible put together adult. usually I achieve this by channelling a favourite character who has a lot of responsibilities and who looks fine while doing them, and to manage that I have to have my shit organised. some Responsible Aesthetics™:

to-do lists. be they a complex spread in a bullet journal, or a list scribbled on the back of a receipt, they are essential. as soon as you’re up, make a cup of your favourite hot drink, get back into bed, and write out your tasks for the day. if you need to, break them down into their parts (I like doing this, because more to tick off). be realistic. think about how much time each thing will take. don’t overwhelm yourself.

now aim to do at least 50% (or 75%, on lighter days) of the list. this means that you can meet a goal (doing that percentage) and if something comes up and you don’t do all of it, you don’t have to feel bad or beat yourself up. also means that even if you feel you can’t do anything at all, going for half of the tasks is still more than you would have done otherwise.

decadent lunches. they don’t even have to be complex, but my god. having a delicious lunch does wonders for your day. it’s something to look forward to that isn’t as far off as dinner, and it’s so great to study or read or hang out with friends with a really nice lunch!!

decadent drinks. you have to stay hydrated (and probably caffeinated!). get something tasty to drink. get a cute water bottle to keep it in. treat yourself. having tasty things on hand makes studying so much easier!

please indulge and take breaks. when it’s just not happening there is nothing wrong with throwing yourself on the bed and listening to dramatic music, or reading a few chapters of a non-academic book to break things up, or go on a drive/walk to clear your head. you need breaks! overworking might look like a cool aesthetic in all the dark academia books but practically? unless you’re like me and hyperfixate, you probably won’t be taking much information in on a cramming binge. 

(if you do hyperfixate and it does align with what you’re studying, though... dare I say, indulge? I don’t know about you but when it happens to me I think it’s such a look. seven hours of studying something highly specific and not even looking up? that’s built in aesthetic there! people want what I have!)

if you need a break but you feel bad because your brain tells you it’s cheating, go and do something else that needs done. I feel so responsible when I take a break from studying and go and do the dishes, or clean the kitchen, or vacuum the house, or do the laundry. I look put together, chores get done, my brain gets a break and something new to focus on, and having a clean, organised house or workspace makes it easy to think and improves my mood.

you know what’s a good aesthetic? getting as much sleep as you can. you might not be able to get all the sleep you might need (sometimes, despite what all the self-care advice says, there’s just not enough time if you want to achieve exactly what you want), but you do need some sleep. and it’s decadent as fuck to lay in bed with loads of blankets and pillows and a hot drink, watching stupid shit online until you fall asleep. 

perhaps most importantly, aesthetic and decadence is about spoiling yourself and looking after yourself. saying to yourself that you’re worth it, no matter how simple or indulgent or dramatic it might be. your dedication to your studies is already a top notch dark academia look, like you have that shit down. but don’t forget about the decadence part. look after yourself, spoil yourself, and know that the happier and more content you are, the better your grades are going to be. sometimes the best aesthetic is saying “fuck this, I deserve a break” and going and getting a mfuckin smoothie!

#it's all about decadence & aesthetic baby #anon #asks

[mewtwo24]

More Jihyun Headcanons

Tbh this is more one headcanon that became two little mini-fics, depicted from both perspectives???? I have no idea all I know is that this is very self-indulgent and I hope you all enjoy. Thank you so much for all of your feedback and kind responses to my last Jihyun headcanon post! <3

A long/hard day at work/school...

MC:

MC was having a no good, very bad, horrible day. Everything that could possibly go wrong had gone wrong; or at the very least she felt the results of the day had been lackluster and that she hadn’t tried hard enough despite being exhausted. Jihyun picks up on this almost as soon as the door opens; because when MC is upset she withdraws into herself not unlike he does. She becomes silent as a ghost, as if she were hoping it might help her disappear; she doesn’t call out a greeting, doesn’t sing or poke her head into the rooms he’s designated to painting and producing photographs with a grin. She tends to drop her belongings next to the couch in the living room and curl up, arms around her legs as she draws them close and buries her face in her knees. If she doesn’t appear within the time range she would be expected--without a message or call she’ll be late--he’ll grow concerned. He knows things happen sometimes, but ever since he found her that way the first time--God he still remembers how his heart dropped in his chest--he always double checks to make sure she’s okay if she’s late.

And so he’ll find her there in the living room, drawn and self-conscious, and his expression will crumple at how familiar the sight of her is. Because he sees so much of himself in that self-deprecation. He knows that there are days where nothing seems to go right and your thoughts just swallow you up into a black hole; drawing you deeper into despair than you ever wanted to be with no way out.

He’ll go straight to the kitchen and pick something rich and fragrant from their tea cabinet (this boi is on a mission)--maybe a surprise flavor he’d been saving for a moment like this should it come again--and he’ll take his time to prepare it as best he can--making sure to add extra honey just how she likes it. And he’ll return to the living room and place the mugs as quietly as possible on the table to keep from startling her, steps even and slow, before he’ll approach her from the other side of the couch.

His voice will be low and soothing, just enough to get her attention. “MC?” He’ll draw closer until he’s sitting next to her with some space between them, and reach out to place a light hand on her back, “Are you all right, darling?”

His tentative murmur next to her ear will be enough to make her look up and snuggle into his arms, burying her face in his chest. The first time it happened he was shook, expecting a lukewarm acknowledgement at best. All he’d ever received for such efforts in the past were tears and apologies, a sharp rebuff followed by the harsh swat of a hand. Nothing at all like this; where a simple embrace was more than enough to bring back her beaming smile. Now his arms came around her without a second thought, an indulgent smile forming as she shifted to press closer and tuck her face into the curve of his neck. He’d move his hand rhythmically across her back in response, drawing comforting shapes and patterns while the other held her tight.

They would stay like that for a long time; MC losing herself in his warmth and acceptance, the gentle calm he radiated working to mute the anxious hyperfixation. And the vice grip on his heart would finally unravel as he brushed a kiss against her hair, feeling like he could breathe again as the tension wracking her frame ebbed slowly.

“I love you,” She would mumble into his chest as soon as she felt better, “So, so much.”

And delighted laughter would always follow at the sight of her rare shyness, bright and relieved. “I love you, too. More than you know,” Her head rose from where it had nestled against his collarbones to narrow her eyes at his tender smile.

“Is that a challenge?” She asked, grinning back as she sat up.

He shook his head, reaching for the mugs on the table. “Nope; I figured I’d save you the dishonor of losing.”

She gaped at his sweet smile and seamlessly accepted the warm mug he offered, “Rude. I’m only letting this slide because the tea smells amazing.”

She felt her heart warm and stutter a bit when he let out peals of laughter; a sound more moving than any music.

“Is it sweet enough? Do you want me to bring more honey?” He managed to ask as soon as he’d calmed, his question sincere when he turned to watch her take her first sip. He noticed her eyes close in bliss as she savored it, glad to see he’d made a wise choice.

She hummed, pretending to think about it for a bit before setting her mug back down and turning to him. She looped her arms around his neck, drawing him close as she tangled a hand in his hair despite the slight widening of his eyes, “Mm, I’m not sure; you tell me.” And she touches her lips to his; a long, slow shifting of warm velvet as he pulls her closer and angles his head a fraction to the right. He shivers when her tongue traces the length of his lower lip, breath shuddering as she chose that moment to retreat and rest her forehead against his, equally out of breath.

“Looks like I better bring some more;” He managed when he regained control over his voice. “Since it’s not nearly as sweet as you.”

She laughed unable to help herself, worries and frustrations far behind her in favor of relaxing with her favorite person in all the world.

Jihyun:

There are days, especially during the first few years of his recovery, in which nothing will come out as he might like. They were subtle things and big things; sometimes it would be a matter of colors clashing or shading not aligning quite right. Sometimes it would be an inability to think of a proper subject or theme for a piece. And sometimes it would just be a matter of the piece itself; it felt empty, devoid of the poetic gravity he was known for. Either way something would be incomplete, enough to bring him to a halt. MC always notices as soon as she comes home in that Jihyun is quiet, but not in the usual way. Instead of the caress of a paint brush or the faint footsteps of a picture developing he would be found reading, music playing softly in the background. Though Jihyun isn’t a very blatant person or a loud one, there’s something about this calm that screams not okay to MC. She can’t quite explain it. Perhaps the harder he tries to hide his inner turmoil, the more evident he is in his reticence; thus it strikes MC as odd.

As soon as the silence of the house hits her MC places her bag on the living room table and heads straight to the room she uses for her studies/work. She’ll often find him there, as if the memory of her presence alone; her fragrance, the ambience, the meticulous organization--that’s so foreign to the house it must be hers--would be enough to pull him out of this exhausted rut. Though he knows it’s no match for the woman herself, he can be reluctant to ask for help or won’t know quite how to broach the subject. He feels pathetic that something so small could stop him on the path he’s decided on, that he isn’t trying hard enough.

She’ll be very deliberate, and make no effort to hide her presence when she enters. She’ll circle to whatever chair he’s sitting in and rest her head gently against his, arms coming around to meet loosely at his chest. A hand--noticeably clear of even the slightest of pigment stains--will come up to overlap both of hers, betraying all the things he’s struggling to say.

“Welcome home, MC,” He’ll look to her with a small smile.

And she’ll sigh happily, “I love coming home to you,” She’ll admit with a light kiss to his cheek, which makes his smile grow a little as he puts down the book to focus entirely on her.

“How was school/work?”

“The usual, it was an easy day today. How was your day?” She would broach the topic carefully, letting him discuss as much as he was comfortable with on his own.

“Ah, just fine,” He’d reply with another blank smile.

And she would pause, trying to think of the best way to help him come to terms with this newest roadblock. Her voice would be quiet, cautious. “It’s okay, you know, to get stuck sometimes. It doesn’t make you any less talented, or amazing.”

“I…” He’d blink with surprise.

And she’d continue to talk him through it. “I may not be able to understand completely, but I think everybody has those moments of doubt. What if I’m not as good at this as I thought I was? As I hoped I’d be?”

She’ll take one of his hands in hers and lay it flat, tracing along his fingers. “I think...you make wonderful things, capture a beauty I could never hope to behold until you show it to me. And I think a lot of people feel the same way when they have the pleasure of seeing what you’ve created,”

And then she’ll interlace their fingers and squeeze his lightly, voice low and smile tender. “So don’t give up. Keep believing in yourself, just like I do. Sometimes the more you seek an answer, the more it eludes you. Take a break, try something new; walk away from what’s confusing you for a bit. You never know what kind of insight some distance can give you.”

She’ll walk in front of him and cup his face with her hands, grinning at the way his cheeks darkened when she kissed his nose. “For now, don’t be too hard on yourself. Come on! Let’s go do something fun!” She’ll carefully remove the book from his shocked hands and tug him out the door.

“Where are we going?” He’ll ask, a little flustered.

And she’ll hear the tremble in his voice and know it isn’t his fault surprises make him nervous. “The beach!” She’ll reply without missing a beat, exasperated laughter following her as they gathered their coats.

“In the middle of the night? In October?” He reaffirms, one eyebrow disappearing behind his hair as the beginnings of her favorite smile tugs at his lips.

“I like to live dangerously,” She calls over her shoulder with a wink as she starts the car and dashes outside, making sure it’s warm for when he climbs in.

With the patience of a saint he’ll follow and the car ride will be full of little sing-alongs and her recounting funny moments in her day, as well as all the little things that reminded her of him and how much she missed him. How the clear sky always reminds her of his soulful eyes and how a song on the radio was one they danced to a few weeks ago, making the midday traffic bearable. And she watches as the creases in his face smooth and his smiles come more naturally, relief blossoming in her chest as he seems to find a way to let go--to love himself again.

When they arrive at the beach she runs to the shore and giggles as the foam at the edge of the water laps at her feet; joyful laughter following the light, bubbling caress. And he’ll follow her footsteps in the sand, taking his time as he revels in the sight of her radiance. They’re far enough from the city that the stars wink at them conspiratorially from afar, and the ethereal glow of a full moon reflecting on the water bathes her in silver silk. It won’t be long until she feels his arms around her, catching her as she splashes and dances from one foam pocket to another. Warm chest pressed against her back, his voice will be soft in her ear.

“Thank you,” She can barely hear him over the water, “I was beating myself up again, wasn’t I?” He’ll admit with a sigh.

And she’ll turn around in his arms and smile patiently at his desolate expression, one she knew well as her fingers traced over the thin scar that climbed the bridge of his nose to the right corner of his brow. “You were, but it’s okay. Healing won’t happen overnight; you’re only human Jihyun.”

She’ll watch as his eyes shine with tears he won’t even try to stop, and stroke his hair when he pulls her close and hides in the curve of her neck. Raw and vulnerable, they stay like that until she can sense the return of his usual calm; like watching the ripples that had been disturbing the surface of a lake dissipate into nothing.

When he retreats she wipes at his face carefully with her sleeve and he lets out a watery laugh, wondering what he could possibly have done to deserve somebody like her. “I love you,” He confesses after taking a final, deep breath to steady his nerves. “So, so much.”

“I love you, too,” She murmurs back without hesitation, nuzzling her nose with his and beaming when his answering grin met his eyes. “More than you know.”

I think I have an idea, he muses when she reaches for his hand, their fingers intertwining effortlessly as they begin to trace the shoreline. Blessed with a warm night, they walk and talk about things both profound and silly until they’re too weary to stand.

Jihyun’s next piece--Maiden in the Moonlight--was said to be the awakening of his potential among modern art historians, and remains a beloved favorite for many of his admirers.

#v mystic messenger #jihyun kim #mystic messenger #more headcanons!!! #mOAR #because I love this man and can never have enough of this pure patoot #hes so cute and sweet and wholesome #bhjakdsdb #anyways hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for all the responses to my original post