#and then we both scream and cry about it

[things-stronger-than-fear]

i think the wildest thing about coryo slipping and saying he killed 3 people is that it shows how guilty he feels for sejanus' death??? like in this brief moment of unguarded honesty, when he's speaking without thinking first, he fully blames himself for sejanus' death.

all i'm saying is that if he was a pure evil sociopath who never gave a damn i don't think he would blame himself at all; it's so easy to point the finger instead at gaul, at whoever pulled the lever, at the rebels who involved sejanus. snow's not the one who committed the crime, who gave the order, or who pulled the trigger. but in the end he -- without promoting, without argument -- incriminates himself.

i'm just. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

#the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #snowjanus #i mean ig it's consistent with even fully evil president snow to be honest w himself about his evil #like his brutal honesty with katniss #his “we both know i'm not above killing children” #BUT IT'S STILL. AHHHHHH. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING U P

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

I always love a heel, but not like this....... not like thissssss!!

#kingohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #jeramie brasieri #spider kumonos #gerojim #super sentai #GOD DAMNIT TOEI I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I WAS WRONG GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK WAAAAAHHHHHH #i'm simultaneously over the moon skipping and jumping and also in emotional crisis and can't stop screaming and crying aaahah #I CALLED THIS WEEKS AGO BUT THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE CLEAR!! I THOUGHT IT WASNT GONNA HAPPEN BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH #AFKL;JEW;LKJ;LJFL;FJAEW #JERAMIEEEEEEEEE!!! GEROJIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!! #MY SPECIAL BOOOYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSS #DON'T WALK OVER THAT HORIZON GOD DAMNIT!! #STAY WHERE I CAN SEE YOU WAAHAH! #ANYONE ELSE CONCERNED ABOUT ALL THE DEATH FLAGS ON THE BOTH OF THEM!??? I AM FEARING AGAIN #i recommend kingohger it a fun time

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hey, Star Trek Writers... -taps the glass-

#star trek #the only people from Voyager's main cast I could see wanting to be a captain are Chakotay ??? maybe? and DEFINITELY Harry Kim #Harry Kim is the only guy on that ship who I'd actually cheer and scream and cry and click my heels if he became captain #bc it's actually something I think he'd be suited for AND it fits with his personality/goals...<3 #like I saw a clip from Picard and like...Seven of NINE??? Why would she want to be a captain?? I think in that case 'making captain' is jus #shorthand for 'we finally accept you into structured society and you're no longer an outcast' which I do NOT like #also Tuvok's a captain???? Why???? Nothing about Tuvok screams captain material or that he'd even WANT to be a captain #I imagine him being chief of security or a professor (or both) until retiring - MAYBE a first officer #OH same with Janeway only she would HATE being an admiral and loves being captain #like next they're gonna tell me that B'Elanna Torres is a starfleet captain* - NO ! she is an ENGINEER! #Sorry I can't get over how bad Tuvok would be as a captain - he's not suited for it and does NOT seem interested #*so that we can all go 'oh yay I accept this as shorthand for the federation accepts her' - HEY #if the only thing you can think of to show that a character has achieved true happiness & respect & peace is becoming a 'respectable' rank #in the future pseudo not-military: maybe think about that more deeply

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

yakou furio's character is so tragic to me. i wanna meme about how they used the fridged wife trope but other than that it's like. he lost his family and later all of his coworkers and just. existed alone for years.

looking at the state the submarine and especially his bedroom was in, with everything being a mess and all the cigarette butts in his bed, yakou was clearly depressed. he wouldn't even take on any interesting cases to fulfill his passion as a detective because he was so afraid of the peacekeepers. instead he just kept his head down. surviving but not actually living.

and then he finally gets some new detectives to work at his agency and the first thing he can do is fail to save most of them from dying horribly. but the five that yakou did manage to save latch onto him and he starts getting into a leader role! even if his new coworkers are all rowdy and get into trouble they still respect him as a leader and look up to him.

the detectives keep picking fights with the peacekeepers that yakou has been trying so hard to dodge. and usually the resolution is kind of messed up because the victims die but the detectives prove themselves capable of handling the peacekeepers! they're helping people! for the first time in a while, yakou comes toe to toe with peacekeepers willingly, to help his new friends. he realizes that he is able to stand up against amaterasu corp, with the help of the others.

but by the time he realizes this, the stage has already been set. the letter from yomi turned his grief into anger and a thirst for vengeance. although yomi gave him the information and opportunity, yakou was ultimately the one who chose to murder the man who murdered his wife.

yakou has already rebuilt his life after his wife's death. the detectives at his agency look up to him and he would do anything for them. it would never be the same as the life he had with his wife but yakou had the chance to turn over a new leaf with a new found family who cares about him.

but instead, yakou plans a murder. he needs to die, over and over, in order to access the man he wants to kill and he accepts it. he needs to trick two kids, who look up to him and who he cares for, into becoming his accomplices to the murder and he accepts it. in the wake of forcing his detectives to witness his murder, he needs leave them in a lab filled with peacekeepers who want to kill them and he accepts it.

and it's not that he doesn't care about his detectives. yuma and halara disobeyed his orders and assaulted several peacekeepers, and he was willing to be arrested himself before throwing his employees under the bus. yuma and fubuki were implicated in terrorism and yakou and the others solve the case for them, then prepare to fight an army of peacekeepers to protect yuma.

for his murder plan, yakou only needs desuhiko and fubuki's powers. but he brings halara and vivia along as well because they would be able to protect the two younger detectives and fight their way out of the lab after yakou dies. he enacts his plan on a day that yuma wasn't around because he won't be able to help fight peacekeepers, so it's better to just keep him out of this mess. he covers up his murder-suicide to protect his detective's feelings, but also because they would be implicated as his accomplices if his plan was revealed.

and yakou probably expected that the other detectives would be fine. if they'd left him behind to die, the other detectives probably would have been able to either fight their way out or hide out in the lab a bit longer and figured out a good plan to escape. if yakou had his way, he would have gotten his revenge and his detectives would have gone home grief-stricken, but unharmed and forever unaware of their roles in his death.

but yakou doesn't account for the fact that the other detectives would try to save his life. yuma doesn't run after the hitman and escape the peacekeepers, he stays behind to beg yomi to help yakou. fubuki uses up all her energy to rewind time to try to prevent yakou's death instead of helping the others escape the lab. halara, vivia, and desuhiko not only have to fight off peacekeepers, but they also have to carry yakou to a hiding spot to give first aid. and instead of calmly planning their next move, everyone is desperate to solve the case so there would be any chance of getting yakou to a hospital as quickly as possible.

one major theme of rain code is that despite tragedies that may have happened in the past, people can work together with those they care about to live a better life in the future. and yakou could have had that. his wife's death should have stayed in the past, and he should have continued to mentor the other detectives, solving mysteries together and enjoying each other's companies.

but yakou couldn't let the past stay in the past. he had every chance to not go through with his murder. he has new people he loves, but he manipulates them and puts them in danger in order to get back at the person who killed the last person he loved. his victory was a pyrrhic one. he got his revenge but in return, he destroyed himself and his detectives' trust in him. he enjoyed his revenge momentarily before dying and leaving his new family, who he used their love and trust for him to his advantage, to pick up the pieces.

yakou furio had lost everything in the past. but in trying to pursue it he destroyed everything he had in the present. that's the tragedy of his character to me.

#shut up pandora #rain code #master detective archives: rain code #yakou furio #character analysis #yakou is one of my favorite characters btw #hes a good person at his core though he fucked up #but also you dont have to be a good person to be a really good character which i think he is #this is @ ppl in youtube comments slamming on yakou for being stupid in chapter 4 btw #like thats the point #thats whats good about his character #would you have preferred if he were JUST a fun dad who gets fridged #thats fucking boring #we do nuance in this household and by household i mean my personal blog #but also what he did was pretty fucked up especially for the kids that he actually got involved #vivia was screaming crying throwing up bc it was a vivia chapter but i wanna see what fubuki's reaction was to the whole thing #bc man is she never gonna want to use her forte again #tragic anime dilfs will scar their kids for life in an elaborate and painful murder suicide instead of going to therapy #i like to acknowledge both sides of characters in general #but yeah while yakou was a really good mentor for the others at the agency and definitely loved them all very much #he put his want for revenge over his love for his found family #and died before he could reconcile to said found family about it

[ahsokatanohno]

HERA AND LEIA ARE PALS. AHSOKA AND EZRA AND SABINE REUNITED. AHSOKA IS HOPEFUL AND THRIVING. THREEPIO IS HERE ON BEHALF OF SENATOR AND DEFENSE COORDINATOR LEIA ORGANA. ZEB IS TRAINING RECRUITS. MY HEART IS FULL.

#Ahsoka #Ahsoka spoilers #Ahsoka spoiler #I only need one more thing and that’s Hera reunites with her boy now #if I see Zeb and Ezra reunited I will be through the moon #but I NEED Hera to see and hold her boy after all this time #it will only take that and my skin will be clear my crops will be watered my faith will be restored #it’s a simple request #a humble plea #as I sit here screaming crying losing my marbles #can we talk about leia and Hera being friends tho #can we imagine the wine nights #please someone write Hera and Leia’s conversation about this #can we talk about Mon Mothma looking like an exasperated mom friend #‘NOW what have the pair of you gone and done’ #‘I can’t leave you two alone for two seconds’ #‘I’m relieved you won’t be arrested but I’m going to kill you both’ #Mon mothma’s voice going soft as soon as she saw threepio #that did something to my heart #Hera’s SMILE when she saw him #teva having enough of chopper’s respect that he could hold a hand up to him and not be murdered #Zeb is training recruits 😭😭😭😭 #do you think they remind him of young Ezra #and Ahsoka #can we TALK about Ahsoka #look how much better she’s doing #how much more confident #and hopeful #and involved and emotional and HAPPY #I’ve run out of TAGS

[getoutofmytardis]

ed and stede staying with izzy and buttons coming to visit 😭

#i’m going. insane. #WHYD THEY KILL MY FAVOURITE GUY #i have far to many feelings about this just all of it holy shit my my brain is soup #was actually about to cry over this tho #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2e8 #also. i feel in my bones that there will be many scenes in s3 of ed talking to izzy’s grave #also also i hadnt noticed any birds before this that i thought were meant to be buttons but i have been Waitin g and i want to scream #tbf i actually did scream lol it was a wild ride of an episode #also also also since im rambling in the tags already ig lol the only person i’ve been talking to ofmd about is a client of mine lmao #very silly goofy time saw them like a year ago and they came back at the height of my ofmd hyperfixation and it came up #actually one of my favourite sessions and we were both going a bit feral but also slay #probably concerning the number of people i end up talking to about tumblr and fandom shit but also most of my clients are queer and #neurodivergent so maybe it’s not that surprising lol

[ilikeyoshi]

not to get really deep and personal on tumblr dot com but i think today's therapy session may have been the first ever time i actually felt my mind and my body connect. like. it felt fucking cosmic? the revelation that they were always meant to work in tandem, and that they speak two different languages, thoughts and senses, and that i am their mediator, i am the one who makes sure they both get what they need.

i think this is why it's so common for mentally ill people to "know" their anxiety or depression aren't true to life, that what they're afraid of isn't really happening, and yet the pain persists. because the pain is your body. and your body does not understand words and logic like your brain does. your body needs to have its hand held or its back stroked. your body needs to cry. your body needs to feel and hear the physical sensation of you saying the reassurances out loud, because the words don't translate, but the sensations do. the movement of your mouth, the vibration of your voice.

and if we do not give our body this, then it doesn't matter how much we heal our minds. we have to heal the body too. we have to feel and acknowledge the pain and ask it, "what do you need?" maybe that's a bath. maybe that's lying down and squeezing a pillow really tight. maybe that's screaming at the top of your lungs. maybe that's walking around the block for an hour. whatever it is, it is the body's version of the anxiety and depression and illness. and like the mind's version, it needs to be helped, gently and consistently, until someday it knows that the fear and guilt isn't real.

#sorry im. going to be thinking about this forever. #i really do not think i have ever felt my mind and my body at the same time. #as a child the body is i think all your can feel. and when you become a teenager or young adult it makes sense to reject your body. #after all. your body's way of communication—crying and screaming and throwing things—probably got you scolded by a lot of adults. #it wasn't 'the correct' way to communicate your pain. so you rely only on your mind. your ability to think complicated and critical things #and solve them therein and make the pain in the mind go away. but the thing is the body is still there. the body is still in pain. #they are connected and can not be unconnected; to learn how to heal one but not the other leaves 50% of you in excruciating agony. #it's no wonder we can 'know' it's okay and still be struggling so much. we have to know AND feel it's okay. #and when you listen to your mind and body in tandem you realize they need different kinds of help. and you maybe even realize you're capabl #of providing both those kinds of help. you just need to know what kind applies to where. and it takes practice and patience. you probably #know all this from treating your mental health for years. but i wonder how many of us forget we have to do that for our physical health too #yoshi talks

[mewtwo24]

So like. Was anyone going to tell me THIS happened in Piofiore 1926 or was I just supposed to read through all the Alternativa routes on my own?????

#piofiore 1926 #piofiore yang #piofiore nicola #yall im so #like yes i am a yang stan but like #?????????? YANG SINCE W H E N #i love it here the way the game is just like 'yes he's a foodie' 'yes he loves a woman who eats' #like its not that there weren't implications in his original rt but the way he just full on says it in front of anyone #'what of it? all the better if she thicc' #screaming CRYING THROWING UP #nicola: literally what about this is appropriate (i will give you a clue. none of it.) #yang: You Are Weak Italian Twink. Like Baby. Watch This-- #it almost distracted me from the flagrant homoeroticism between them in nicolas alternativa #i love them both so much the alternativa rts are just so funny #i lose it every time gil stops everything to go #'what the fuck is wrong with that guy' about the antagonist #or 'how did we come to this. me agreeing with yang.' #also dante's catty ass remarks of like 'omg. yang you're a real person????????' truly we stan a petty capo #and orlok chasing yang around in the ruins like a very concerned kindergarten teacher like 'y-y-y-y-yang....what are you doing ;;;;;;' #yang: chaos? #orlok: yang pls....pls no-- #yang: C H A O S >>>>>:3c #i love piofiore LMFAO #i feel like its one of those few otome where each of them just has so much personality

[emily-prentits]

i want to rage about the lack of quality in the meddison tag rn. when will we learn media literacy because i'm real FUCKING tired.

#why are we all infantilizing meredith!!!!!!! i'm going to fucking scream #the dynamic literally goes both ways (hello healthy relationship??) AND all of these fic situations would be so much fucking BETTER if the #dynamic was reversed. #no meredith does not cry or miss people or feel emotion she pushes it down until she can't feel it. but if you made that character ADDISON #automatically would be a fic i would read even if the writing quality is shit because at least you have the characters down #i'm tired of caring about being mean or petty about this literally it's not that hard to watch an episode and see what they're like. watch #one episode of season 1 and you can see meredith's complete inability to process emotion. it's not that fucking hard. #watch one episode of season 2 and you can see the way addison snaps and acts tough and cold and then falls apart when no one is looking. #thea talks #rant post

[demenior]

Counting down the days. Don't think kitty cat will make it to the end of the month. Might not be the week. We're taking it day by day.

#dem speaks #i am both: it is what it is and [screaming crying throwing up] about this #just in that: we all knew this day/time would come! still wish it wasn't here #kind of way

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

..

#slight tw for the next few tags………… #my sister emotionally and verbally abused me last night and I don’t use those terms lightly at all #basically I texted my mom ‘yikes’ yesterday after she was being rude to us and she found it and started screaming #and said we all treat her so badly and none of us care about her which cannot be further from the truth #the gaslighting was out of this world #she said we started it? #my mom and I were both crying #she called me all kinds of awful names and kept saying fuck you so I said fuck you back #I have an anxiety around swearing out loud so the car fell silent #then she kept screaming #and I was sobbing and it ruined my makeup #then I had a panic attack #she got out of the car and then we had to go in fucking margaritaville resort to have a dinner w family we don’t see #she thought she was entitled to this outburst. #and I cried silently the whole way home and my pain was so bad on top of it #and now she’s acting like nothing happened. I did not get any apology. #it was HELL #and I just need to rant #I love her but…I did not deserve this #also slightly pissed at my mom bc she told my sister something I said that was supposed to be kept private #and my sister used it against me #sorry I needed to rant ❤️‍🩹 #Abby doesnt shut up

[garlique]

no one knows how much i want a goddamn cig

#but i cant talk about it !! i must be quiet!! #rly i want a disposable vape in the flavor of orbit sweet mint gum and i want to hit it for hours and hours and hours #screaming crying throwing up its been over 2 months and i still WANTTTTTTTT #but like scream ethan is only two weeks in and im so scared that if i actually let him know how it's still affecting me #that he'll go oh god and give up again and then we'll have to break up #because i really just feel like we have to be on the same page about it yknow?? #like we can either both smoke or both not smoke but i felt like i was fucking DYING the two months he was on cigs and i was quitted #idc if we smoke but we cant straddle that divide again i will kill him #and as much as i want a cig or a vape rn i know that overall im WAY happier being a nonsmoker #like my little autistic rat brain is still getting used to being off it but it really just shows me #HOW much of my life was structured around nicotine #and i know that by the time its been a year of no cigs it'll feel like a horrid memory but my god this process sucks ARSE #but again i cant talk about it so i just live lmao

[eternitwo]

you’re an artist too, don’t you understand?

#⚡️.vent #we don’t live in that house anymore #or the same state for that matter #but the touch still lingers like a burn #you’re an artist #don’t you understand what it’s like to want to scream your lyrics for everyone to hear? #your guitar and drawing can’t be that different #we both use it to escape #but you told me to burn the art i made to detach from the trauma #when you don’t even want to face it and instead just cry about how you want to die

[tuiyla]

I don't even ship Pezberry but I'm so glad Every Breath You Take was a Pezberry duet and not a Kurtbarfstian duet.

No hate to Kurtbastian girlies but I don’t know what I’d do without my life without Pezberry’s Every Breath You Take in it. I for one am thankful that the song was still technically up for grabs in season 5 and so the gayest possible duet was born. I do think Fox should release fully recorded songs tho and afaik the Kurtbastian version is one of those. And I think there are at least two fully recorded Naya songs that are sitting on a Fox server somewhere. Gimmeeeee ffs it’s been a decade just release the tapes I don’t even care if they make a shit ton of money in the process.

#criminal that we have another kurtcheltanacedes quartet somewhere out there #and they're depriving me of it #so i feel for the kurtbastian girlies #but if pezberry never got to do it what would i be screaming crying throwing up about #still plenty i'm sure #still #glee asks #anon #pezberry asks #every breath you take gcv #both! i guess

[fabcreature]

Flirted With My Crush Again Today, and it turns out i'm GOOD at it

we were talking about how his (male) roommate recently kissed a guy, and he (my crush) was rly hyped up about it bc he's not that used to queerness but he thinks it's rly cool that people can be themselves and do what they want. he then jokingly told our other male coworker that they should go and kiss so his roommate won't be "winning". i said that to really win this "competition" he should kiss a guy and then also kiss me so he'd be winning by having kissed a nonbinary person too, to which the other previously mentioned coworker said that that was the pickup line of the century.

my crush then said that he won't be able to get any sleep tonight thinking about that pickup line as well as the time i called him handsome (which means he's been thinking about it!!??)

anyway so

#kicking screaming crying giggling twirling my hair #AAAAAAAA #mimmimmummum #i turned off reblogs bc i felt a bit weird telling the story with this many specifics (tho i did skip some) #i mean no one ever reblogs these anyway but you know #i am LOSING it fellas #ahdgsgdhsvdhvevrhdhsgagdghfhdhdgfhdhffafshdhfh #like now it was Acknowledged that i'm flirting with him 😳 #we were all very much joking but both my coworkers said i'm good at flirting #i am so fucking shfhagdgdgheyftdhrvdgehfgfagrhhe #please god i need to talk about this to people i need to scream #i need to lie in bed on my stomach kicking my legs in the air twirling my hair and talking on a pink phone to my friends #SCREAMING GUYS I AM TELLING YOU I AM SCREAMING #internally #if he doesn't at some point develop a crush on me i swear to god #it isn't fair if it's just me crushing by myself #aaaaaaaaaaaAa #eg posts

[gas-stxtion]

//sorry i haven't been working on replies lately! you see, it's because [mid-sentence i slowly lie down on the floor and start crying really hard. i do not finish my explanation]

#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc} #//feel free not to read the tags b/c i'm gonna scream a bit #//moved in last week and already we may end up with two more people in this apartment #//bc two of my roommate's partners both need a place to stay #//and like with the one we've had some time to talk and prepare #//but with the other it's like oh ok she's moving in this weekend. non-negotiable huh. ok #//i want to scream cry and throw up lmao i am not emotionally prepared for there to be four people here #//especially b/c i don't know either of them suuuuper well just yet #//and rn i'm doing the bulk of the cleaning in the apartment which i don't mind! because i'm happy to help! #//roommate has a lot of other stuff she's worrying about and i understand and want to take the load off #//but i think if i see one more dirty pot i might start crying #//which as we all know is a normal reaction #//(that's sarcasm if that's not clear) #//i know i need to say something and insist on better communication #//because this is not malicious on my roommate's part. i know that. it's just a miscommunication #//anyway yeah i keep mentally coming back to the fact that my room isn't even fully unpacked yet lmao #//bc now we gotta get shit together to make sure everyone has somewhere to sleep n such #//and yes it's bc i haven't asked for help. i am aware. that's on me #//but damn. #//ok this got long jesus- #//if you read this i am giving you a high five but if not i understand lmfao #vent cw #negative cw