#and xem being *worried* at all is fucking concerning

[fangaminghell]

Hnnnng I have no idea if this'll make sense BUT

Leo and Blair go on the Ho-Oh and Lugia quest together. Leo goes after Charlotte and Blair goes after Saphira. Before this, on the way there, poor Blair experiences the desert for the first time and fucking hates it. Xe hate it so much.

Anyway, with Charlotte and Leo, two younger siblings with trauma,I don't exactly think they're going to really bond over it? Like they are binding but not about their traumas. Leo is in the mindset that he's complaining about his own trauma, and doesn't want Char to feel worse. They do bond over being younger siblings, however. Suraya is brought up briefly, however. Not for long, since it's clear that Leo doesn't want to think about it. Richard isn't even brought up either. I think Charlotte is more in her own feelings to really ask about him, outside of a quick jab ( though Leo shoots her a glare for it). She already feels sucky, she doesn't want to think of the douche bag that Leo's dating.

For Blair and Leo they actually talk a lot. I mentioned before how these two parallel each other: dragon and ice,both of them raised themselves to believe they are a certain thing and they are only good for that one thing. Saphira was a protector of her family, and Blair for the longest time thought xe had nothing. And yet, Blair was seemingly able to heal more than Suraya-I don't think that's the case. Blair is better, of course: xe found xyr passion, found xyr sister, even got to beat up xyr abuser. But despite all that, xe have no idea what xyr doing. Things should feel secure but they just don't. Xe suddenly have a younger sibling to take care for, something xe aren't super equipped for. And there's them studying to be a pokemon professor on top of that. And the anomalies!!! So what I'm getting at is that Blair 100% gets Saphira's struggles. It's just that xyr more stuck in this weird limbo of looking to the past, present and future. Xe just don't know what xyr doing, stumbling along as xe go.

Blair and Saphira also talk about Leo and Suraya. For Leo, xe both express xyr concern for Leo and disdain for Richard. I feel like both have tried to talk to Leo about it, but between Leo's defensiveness and the other twos not so great communication skills, it all ends in a bust. Saphira would mention her hatred for just sitting back and watching their relationship go on, and while Blair agrees, xe think it's the best thing they can do, outside of getting Leo to go on missions without Richard ( which has been getting increasingly hard). Arclight, by this point, has seen the damage and feels absolutely terrible for it, and agreed to try and make Richard do more shifts to keep the two apart ( Arclight wouldn't fire him, sadly).

They also talk about Suraya. Obviously, they do. It's kinda a big elephant in the room. They both loved her ( Blair platonically and Saphira romantically, but she has kinda been burying those feelings for revenge which is no longer obtainable). Saphira never properly mourned her and while recent events have led all of them to believe she's still out there,she still isn't. It devastated her more than she wanted to admit when she found out she was gone. That combined with everything else just led to a lot of bad. She wonders if Suraya would have been disappointed in her, seeing her act out the way she did. Blair doesn't know. Xe do know that she still accepted him even when she knew he used to be an assassin. Still valued xem as a friend. Blair don't doubt that Suraya would stop loving Saphira for her behavior. Worried? Yes, absolutely. But no hatred in her body....unless you've done something to piss her off.

Saphira: "She's too kind"

Blair: "She really is"

I....I think Saphira cries during their talk. Blair does too. Saphira is thankful for Blair's comfort, but is bitter that she lets xem in rather than her own sisters. Blair says that she can work on it. They both can.

After that, the quest goes on as normal. Afterwards, I can see Saphira and Blair growing in friendship. That get each other a lot. This does mean that Blair has to make sure Saphira doesn't murder Blake, yes. But honestly I think their friendship is truly beautiful :).

#this ended up being very blair and saph focused #i have feelings about them #anyway #i hope you enjoy the read!! #oc: leo ✨ #oc: blair ❄️

[nerd-at-sea5]

stop interrupting them

welcome to the brainchild of my friend convincing me to write a fic abt the others in the group seeing sam and deena’s relationship (and by seeing i mean they keep interrupting them.)

pre 1994 and pre breakup

they/them sam, she/they deena, he/him josh, she/her kate, all simon

cw- sam makes a few suicide jokes

SIMON

simon was used to getting phone calls from josh in the middle of the night inviting xem over to play a new game, or to just talk.

what he wasn’t used to was josh showing up at her door, a look of pure horror on his face and a backpack sling over his shoulder.

“dude. what the fuck?!”

“i heard some shit.”

simon raises and eyebrow, “isn’t deena home with you?”

josh nods, “and sam.”

simon bursts out laughing as the wheels click in her head.

“oh! holy shit!! okay yeah c’mon in.”

kate’s in the kitchen in a old band shirt of simon’s and she’s baking bread, “hey josh.”

“h-hey.”

simon glances at the both of them, “josh heard sam and deena fucking.”

“SIMON-”

“NO.”

kate’s jaw drops before she starts hysterically laughing, “oh wait. let’s call them.”

the blond jumps over the counter, hitting xer leg into the edge and muttering a few choice words of pain before punching in a number she’s had memorized for over a decade.

it rings almost to the end, each time josh’s jaw dropping a little more, and kate staring with more shock.

finally it picks up, and a very out of breath deena speaks “hello?”

simon slipped on spilled flour and snickers loudly.

“hello?! what the fuck-”

out of his teary eyes, simon can see kate grabbing the phone, while josh sits down next to him “jesus christ.”

“josh is with simon and i, by the way.” kate says, oddly calmly into the phone, doing a very bad job of hiding the grin spreading across her face.

“what?!”

now xey can heard concerning edging into the other girls voice.

kate pauses and simon stretches out to reach for the phone “your not a quiet person.”

there’s about a minute of straight silence before sam’s voice comes out of the phone “i’m actually going to fucking kill myself-”

and then the line cuts off.

simon’s stomach hurts from how much they’ve been laughing, he loves his friends-she really does.

but they have got to stop traumatizing josh.

KATE

kate loves cheer. she would argue that she loves all of her activities at school, and school itself. but what she doesn’t love is how much her teammates slack off from cheering.

she knows their never going to beat sunnyvale, but is it to much to ask for? for sam to stay with them for the entirety of one game for once?

sighing, she singles to her co-captain that she’s going to the bathroom and makes her way across, past josh wrapped in the blanket deena made him bring, smiling slightly at the cute boy, past simon doing horrible handstands and cartwheels dressed as a green witch who gives her a hug as she passes.

she got to the bathroom and pushed it open without a second thought, before jumping back in shock.

“FUCK.”

a tomato red sam freezes, while a clearly embarrassed deena jumps off of the sink they were sitting on.

kate looked at both of them for a moment, taking in this as one of the most embarrassed she’s seen deena in the 14 years of knowing them.

“this is why your never cheering isn’t it-”

sam laughs nervously and kate rolls her eyes, not as annoyed at the blonde anymore.

“y-yeah. want me back?”

“please.”

deena leans back against the wall glancing at kate, the two of them having some silent conversation.

‘don’t say anything.’

‘i wasent going to!’

‘mhm sure.’

“alright babe. let’s go.”

kate drags sam out of the bathroom, deena yelling from inside “stop calling my girlfriend babe!!”

“no can do babe!”

“kateeeeeeeee…….”

late smiles, a small glow of joy spreading through her body, she missed this.

dumb, interactions, stupid shit like they used to pull in middle school.

before life started to go even more downhill, before simon started working even more and deena was always stressed out. before she had to worry about being the top of the school to earn a scholarship to get out of here.

kate missed it.

JOSH

josh was not good at hearing the door ring when a friend was over, or deena yelling from upstairs. he was good at hearing when pizza was at the house, however. he wasn’t good at knocking and he was good at helping people feel better when they were upset.

so when he heard the pizza arrive he was the first one at the door, and that confused him.

deena was almost always a second before or after him, but it had been almost five and they weren’t here.

he shrugged, eating his own slice quickly before rushing upstairs, opening the door as he spoke, “deena, sam pizza-OH CHRIST. WHAT THE FUCK-?!”

a few things then happened, the pizza fell onto the floor, sam disappeared into blankets with their hands over their head “fuck my life.” deena jumped from kneeling at the end of the bed, grabbed the nearest shirt and put it on before turning to josh, “okay-” who had pulled his shirt over his eyes before screaming, “i swear to god i am moving to simon’s house!”

“don’t do that. go downstairs. give us five minutes. never speak of this again.”

“gimme five bucks.”

“what the hell?”

“i’m traumatized.”

“give him five dollars deena for fucks sake.” came sam’s muffled voice.

“god fuck-fine.”

later that night josh swore to himself he’s always know on a door, even if it was his own.

#simon kalivoda #deena johnson #sam fraser #kate schmidt #josh johnson #sameena #sam x deena #deena x sam #fear street #gay in space writes #aven writes

[a-tale-of-legends]

Let's make some Legendverse Depot Agents hc!!!!

Cameron:

They/He/She

The same age as Elliot! They joined the Battle Subway a little before Elliot, both bring 18.

Extreme doubt in themselves and their abilities.

" I-I don't know, Elliot. I-i'm not very strong-"

"You literally work at the Battle Subway, what are you talking about".

No seriously she's scarily good.

Elliot calls them Cammie :)

Very skittish. Hates confrontation.

Reminds Elliot of Alexis sometimes

Cloud

She/Her

INTENSE. NO ONE LITTERS UNDER HER WATCH.

No but she's really sweet. She cares about her fellow workers a whole lot.

She's tied for the oldest next to Ramses.

Gets very serious and very intense when it comes to battling.

Loves Elliot's spirit! It saddens her to know that she went through things a child her age shouldn't have.

Loves using " weaker" pokemon. It's all about knowing the strengths and weaknesses of a Pokemon that really prove your skill as a trainer.

All in all she's out big buff scary but sweet train lady. Maybe knows Cleric but that's still to be decided.

Furze

He/Him

Trains. Enough said.

Older than Cammie and Eli, younger than Cloud and Ramses.

WILL talk to you about trains. You will listen.

He does sometimes get self conscious about his love for trains and his info dumping, but everyone else is cool with it and encourages it ( even the easily annoyed Isadore).

Gets along really well with Jackie, which has everyone a bit concerned.

Cheers on Cammie and Eli whenever he can.

Is amazing multitasking like holy shit.

Again. Loves trains. Enough said.

Isadore

They/Them

E: Hey Isadore, look at me.

I: *looks at Eli*

E: Bitch.

This is their dynamic.

Mechanic and maintenance specialist.

Often works with Jackie who quite frankly freaks them the fuck out.

Likes hearing Furze talk about trains.

Gets annoyed pretty easily. A bit ( a lot ) of a perfectionist.

Struggles with emoting well. Wants to let people know they care a lot and are thankful for tolerating them.

Not sure if their friendship (?) with Furze is one sided and is too afraid to ask.

Anyway, they hate Elliot and everything she stands for/j

She gets in their nerves. Constantly.

Though somehow they consider each other friends.

Ramses

He/Him

Everyone: Gramps!!! :D

Ramses: Ah.

Nah he doesn't mind.

Oldest died to Cloud.

Another gentle giant except shorter and less intense. And would probably cry if he did hurt someone.

Really chill and laid back. Tends to give random life advice. Usually really good.

Outside of work is very fashionable.

Kinda took Isadore under his wing. Pretty patient with them, but also scolds them time to time ( as does he with the others).

Cloud and him are drinking buddies. The two are great friends :)

Like Cloud, worried about the youngsters. Tells them to go easy on themselves.

Jackie

Xe/xem.

????????

Who the fuck?!

What the fuck?!

Are xe a ghost???? Are xe even real????

Excellent mechanic tho

Never leaving the subway station means free bonus security. Even if watching Jackie on the tapes can be like watching a horror film.

Despite Jacket being Jackie, xe get along well with everyone really. Xe are really friendly, if not a bit aloof.

Still confused the hell out of them though.

#r rambles #oc: elliot jones #depot agents

[docterzerocare]

hey, so uh. learned that q!Phil came back, and got inspired to write a thing with an oc, q!Dandy! :] my lil unicorn single parent <3 also, q!Dandy would make 100% make sure that The Federation can't gaslight Phil into believing that this shit didn't happen. they didn't freak out about if Phil was alright or not just to have The Federation just fuck with Phil's memories.

anyway, have The Concerned Parents Reuniting and Dandy Going Off To Potentially Get Kidnapped Kill A White Bear :)

--------

She heard that Phil had come back, and she doesn't think that she's ran over to his house so fast before.

Except when she first learned that Snapdragon had gone missing, because surely Phil knew where they were, right?

He didn't. Even worse, Snappy wasn't the only missing kid on the island...

They threw open the door to his house, hearing him let out a surprised 'caw' and seeing a few stray feathers go flying. He walks over to where Phil is, and he feels horrified at the sight in front of him.

Phil looked like shit, to put it bluntly. Bags under his eyes, red and puffy eyes from crying, and patchy, bloody wings.

Birds pull out their feathers when stressed, it remembers reading once. How stressed had he been? Had he even realized he'd been doing it?

While it's standing there, its son gasps in surprise. "Mr. Phil! You're back!" Ralphie excitedly rambles. He's about to rush over to hug the man before Dandy gently holds him back.

"Careful, Sweetie. Mr. Phil is hurt," xe quietly whispers to him, eyeing the avian's bloodied wings.

Phil gives a weak smile. "I-It's fine, mate. Just stings a little, that's all." A bit hesitant, Dandy carefully releases Ralphie, who then walks over to Phil and gives a gentle, yet firm squeeze hug. "We've missed you."

Xe stands there for a moment, a tired smile on xeir face. Before long, however, that smile fades into a frosty, cold look of rage. Phil stared at xem, concerned. "Uh...Dandy-?"

"That fucking bear did this, didn't he?"

Phil freezes. He's seen Dandy angry before. Really angry. He saw it when they walked in on ElQuackity standing over a creeper crater where Snapdragon once stood. Emphasis on once. Jaiden had to hold her back, as she screamed at him ("MY BABY! MY BABY BOY! SNAPPY- WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!"). Despite how hard ElQ had tried to insist that Snappy's death had been pure accident-wrong place, wrong time-Dandy didn't believe him. Phil has heard stories about Dandy having stabbed ElQ before he vanished off to fuck knows where and Quackity was returned to them.

Jaiden wasn't there to save him that time, that was for sure.

The other time...well, Phil witnessed that one first hand. And boy, has he heard that cold, calm tone of voice from Dandy before.

And unsurprisingly, it was also during a conversation involving Cucurucho.

(The unicorn stood before the bear, glaring up at them, ears flattened, and tail lashing. "If you so much a harm a hair on my son's head, and if I ever find out that you had something to do with my little Snapdragon being gone, then I'll burn that fancy building of yer's with you inside of it, ya hear me?"

Cucurucho just stares at them. "Ha ha ha. :)")

He tries to deescalate things a bit. "Dandy-"

"He was, wasn't he?" He sounds pissed, not that Phil can blame him. "You know, I thought it was a coincidence, with Big Q and all. But then it was Jaiden...then Snappy...and now it's you."

Still holding onto Ralphie, he seems scared, specifically for what's potentially about to happen to them. "Dandy look, I know that you're pissed-"

"Darn right I'm pissed, Phil!" She sighs. Taking a deep breath, she walks over to Ralphie and picks him up. She has a sad look in her eyes.

"Ralphie, Sweetheart, Mama has to go do something."

He tilts his head. "What's that, Mama?"

"I just...need to go talk to someone." She hands him to Phil. "If I don't come back, you'll stay with Tubbo, Mr. Bad, and Mr. Phil, okay?"

"Mama?" He sounds worried.

She smiles. "No matter what anyone tells you, Mama loves you, Sweetie. Can you promise me that you'll never forget that?"

He smiles up at him. "Of course, Mama!"

With that all settled, he stands up. Phil sets Ralphie down before moving after him. "Dandy, Dandy, don't do this, you know what happened to me-"

"I don't care, Phil, I'm sick of this shit."

As Dandy heads back out the door, a clear purpose in mind, Phil tries to follow after xem. "What are you even going to do, mate?"

Xe turns back before heading off to who knows where. There's a fury in xeir eyes. "To kill that fucking bear, hopefully."

----

q!Dandy is pissed.

Oh damn 👀

#hell ya dandy go off king

[gay-otlc]

Alien

Sophie talks to Dex about gender. Xe/xem Dex, no pronouns Sophie. Content warning for cursing, transphobia (just mentioned), and dysphoria.

@everblaeze-and-balefire

Dex had come to Sophie's house to do homework. Neither was actually doing homework, opting instead to lie at the floor and stare at the ceiling, like they would do when they just talked shit and worry about normal, teenager things. Not the Neverseen. Not rebellion. Not war.

It was kind of nice to do this again.

"I came out to my grandparents as genderfluid," Dex said finally. Xe didn't look at Sophie, and Sophie didn't look at xem, instead opting to focus on the paper stars that decorated the ceiling. Maybe it would be easier if Sophie was somewhere with the stars, somewhere out in space. Maybe then Sophie would stop feeling so alien.

"How did it go?"

Dex fell silent for a while, and Sophie glanced over at xem, concerned. "Not great," xe said finally.

Fuck. "I'm sorry."

"They're not exactly thrilled about our family's reputation, you know? First my dad being talentless, the bad match, then the triplets, then... me. One final disappointment, I guess."

Sophie had never met xyr grandparents, but definitely wanted to go give them a sucker punch. "You're not a disappointment."

"Thanks."

A long pause. Sophie tried to collect all the thought scattered around, form them into something comprehensible. A question danced on the tip of Sophie's tongue, wanting to burst out. And at the same time, begging to disappear forever. Finally, "How did you know you were genderfluid?"

"I don't... I don't really know. It was just the only thing that ever made sense, you know? I was always confused and nothing else made sense. Why?"

"I..." Were tongues supposed to feel like sandpaper? Was anxiety supposed to squeeze at Sophie, cold creeping in? Sophie drifted off into a whisper. "I'm not so sure I'm a girl."

Sophie didn't really know what to expect. But xe just nodded and said, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Am I supposed to bestow queer elder wisdom upon you? Cause I don't really think I'm the best elf for that. Um... gender is pretty damn hard, you don't need to find the answer right away. Or ever. Um. Shit. I don't know how to talk to people. Um. If you want to, like, talk about gender shit? I'm here?"

With a nod, Sophie continued not making eye contact. It was easier, somehow, to pretend it wasn't a real person hearing this. Just a shout into the void. "I hate clothes that are, like, tight. And show off my body. I hate my boobs. And I love my parents, I do, but I kind of flinch when someone calls me a daughter. Or a girl. Please don't tell my parents, though, I'm not really ready to..."

"I'm not gonna out you, Sophie, obviously. Do you have any idea what you are? It's okay if you don't, I'm just wondering."

Sophie paused. "Not a boy, I'm pretty sure about that. I'm somewhere in between, but I don't really know where I fall, exactly."

"Nonbinary is pretty vague. You could just use that, if you don't feel like specifying exactly where you are."

"I don't know. Maybe. I guess nonbinary works, but what if I find a better word later on?"

Dex was probably rolling xyr eyes. "Then change it, Sophie. There's no punishment for getting it wrong the first time."

"Then I think I'm nonbinary."

Xe chuckled softly and nudged Sophie. "Hi, nonbinary, I'm Dex."

"Fuck you!"

"I love you too." Another laugh. What a bitch. "Do you know what you want to do, pronouns wise?"

Sophie shook her- his- their- what the fuck?- head. "No, not yet."

"Okay. That's cool, feel free to experiment around and I'll give you pronoun checks."

Looking back up at the paper stars, Sophie thought, maybe Sophie wasn't quite so alone in this weird, kind of fucked up universe. Not quite so alien. "You're the best, Dex."

"Damn right I am."

#stav's writing #sophie foster #nonbinary sophie #genderfluid dex #dex dizznee #their friendship. their friendship means everything to me #hi nonbinary i'm dex #xe WOULD okay #songs i heard while writing this: pretender and another night on mars and body

[thecampfirestory]

when pat's like being mopey and slightly snapping at people remus is like... "hey... kid... come on, what's going on?" sits down with xem until xe's ready to say something - doesn't have to be much, but you know... something

or like imagine pat does smth dumb and dangerous like idk imagine he got into a fight

and like the group finds out and theyre all obvs concerned and worried but remus is just silent

and he like treats patton's bruises or whatever but hes completely silent while doing it and he has a very neutral face, maybe a small frown but thats it.

and patton just knows xe fucked up

#ask #campfire!cadmus #campfire!achilles #campfire!concepts

[adhdeancas]

if you're still taking requests he/they nonbinary sam and he/him trans man dean and 'i could not care less about pronouns' agender cas all being happy in the bunker when jack comes out to them as trans?

Love this 

and since you didn’t specify, I’m going to go with Jack comes out as nonbinary? Since that’s the general knowledge of his gender

(now part ten of my transnatural series,)

It starts at breakfast. Sam is tasked with making breakfast, since Dean and Cas spent all night watching every Rocky movie ever made, even the bad ones, and definitely including the Creeds. Thus, Dean is slumped over against Cas who is barely upright themself and they are both forbidden from operating near any hot surfaces. Dean already spilled coffee down his shirt so he is now shirtless and careful when he brings the mug to his mouth. 

Jack comes into the kitchen bright eyed and bushy tailed as always, the smell of turkey bacon making him smile wider. “Good morning!”

“Morning, Jack,” Sam grins back at him. Dean grunts. 

Cas offers a small smile and, “Hello, Jack.”

“Hello.” he turns to Sam. “What’s wrong with them?”

Dean’s too tired to even complain about being talked about like he’s not right in front of the kid. “Late night. Don’t worry, they’ll perk up later.” Cas raises an eyebrow skeptically. “After breakfast. And a nap. And maybe some adderall.”

Dean snorts at the joke but Jack doesn’t get it. He moves on anyway, unbothered as always. “Well, I was hoping I could call for A Family Meeting,” he announces proudly. The resulting silence is not exactly stunned but definitely confused.

“A what?” Dean picks his head off of Cas’s shoulder, leaving a wet spot on his shirt. 

“A family meeting. Maybe tonight, at dinner. I have something I want to discuss with you all.” 

Sam and Dean make eye contact over Jack’s shoulder, both their heartbeats picking up at the formal announcement. In their experience, in human experience, a big Talk is never good. Cas notices their tension and pushes himself up so she can go to lay a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “That sounds wonderful, Jack. Although if there’s anything wrong, we can help now.” It’s both for the sanity of the adults of the room and for Jack’s problem, whatever it may be.

Jack shakes his head with a smile. “No, that’s okay. I have to take a shower!” He’s out of the room without another word. 

Cas reaches across the counter to steal Sam’s mug (a mug Eileen got him that says “I love you more than Wifir”) and gulp down coffee, his own and Dean’s mug a whole six feet away. Sam waves a hand in exasperation before trying to steal it back, which leads to a staring contest with both of their hands on the mug. Sam wins by licking Cas’s hand and making him let go, a move which earns them a laugh from Dean, who taught him that move. 

The rest of the day is spent in relative quiet; Cas and Dean do go off to take a nap but they decide to take one outdoors because as Cas says “humans were meant to spend time in the sun every once in a while” and as Dean says “Cas wants to punish me for getting old by sleeping on the fucking ground after not-sleeping on a fucking couch.” Sam video chats with Eileen for a few minutes while she’s at a truck stop; she’s on her way to them after a hunt in Wyoming (which Dean demanded pictures of, he doesn’t think the state exists. It’s the only one in the contiguous US that they’ve never been to). Then he spends the rest of the day pouring over one ridiculously complicated spell that Rowena has assured him is worth the effort (it’s a surprise) but which has to be watched over for several days before it’s ready. It feels like a magic game of jack-in-the-box (no pun intended) to him. Jack spends his day in town with some of his townie friends, and they all miraculously manage to make it home in one piece this time.

Still, by the time dinner rolls around, Dean’s dragged himself away enough to put aloe on his new sunburn, his lack of shirt making his freckles and top surgery scars the only breaks in light pink from waist up, and start making tacos and fried potatoes. 

They’re all seated around the table, Dean and Sam getting nervous despite Jack’s reassurances that the Meeting is nothing bad. “What the hell could he have to tell us? We’re literally around him all the time.”

Sam shrugs and wipes their hands off on their pants again. “I dunno, maybe…” he tries to think of anything it could be, but with Jack’s 22-but-also-three-year-old thing going on, he has no idea what to expect. Cas comes back from fetching Jack, the kid in question smiling like a doofus. 

Cas sits down with Jack across from the brothers, one of their arms on his shoulder for support. “Okay, Jack, go right ahead with whatever you want to tell us.”

“And hurry up, because the food’s getting cold.” Dean says, more out of anxiety for this to be over with than concern about the food. Sam elbows him anyway. 

Jack pops a potato in his mouth first with a grin. Dean rolls his eyes. “These are very good. Okay, so! Remember how we talked about human conceptions of gender?”

They all nod. The conversation had been a memorable one, confusing both Sam and Dean when they got into the more complicated aspects of what gender actually means. In the end, they’d explained pronouns and dysphoria and told Jack that he could be whatever he wanted to be.

“Well, I don’t think I’m a boy!” he says it like it’s a grand reveal at a party, which, to him, it is. They blink around the table, Sam smiling gently to encourage him to continue, Cas tilting his head and waiting for more information, and Dean squeezing his arm over the food. 

“That’s awesome, kid, what are ya?” 

“I think I’m like Sam. Nonbinary?” he looks at Sam for clarification, and Sam nods. 

“Not a girl, not a boy, somewhere in between or outside?”

“I think I’m in between.” Jack says thoughtfully. He looks to Cas. “It seems strange, to identify with human gender since I’m only half-human, but…” it’s like he’s looking to his angelic dad for reassurance that it’s alright.

Cas grins. “Well, you’re only half-angel as well. I think you decide.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Dean asks, trying to seem casual. If it was him coming out right now, he’d be three seconds from heading for the door at any question, but… Jack’s not him. Jack wasn’t raised the same way. 

“Hm, I don’t know what there is to talk about really. I mean, I thought about it, and gender doesn’t really make sense to me, like Cas, so I thought I might have no gender for a while. But I also like the feeling of it sometimes? So then I thought about whether I was like Dean and I knew it wasn’t that, but I’m not like Mary either.”

Cas, Sam, and Dean look around at each other quickly, their pride barely contained. “Well, that’s awesome, Jack.”

“Yeah! We’re gender buddies! Matching gender!” Sam laughs and nods, their hair falling into their eyes, which covers up how wet they are.

“Does anything make you uncomfortable? Any term or word or clothing?” 

Jack looks at Cas with that head-tilt he’d picked up from them. “I like the word them for pronouns. I like how it sounds. Also I wanted to do something with history since I don’t have like… a lot of history.” they look momentarily sad. “I thought about doing xe and xem for a while but I kept forgetting.” they laugh. 

“No problem, kid. Is Jack still okay?”

“Yes.” they say confidently. “My mother gave me that name and we knew each other well. She knew it fits.”

“Cool.” Dean nods, out of questions. Sam jumps in. 

“We’re really glad you told us this, Jack.”

Cas nods and pulls him into a hug. “We’re really proud of you.”

“We love you a lot, kid.” Dean’s voice breaks in the middle of the sentence, and Sam reaches over to squeeze his shoulder. 

Jack hears the change in tone and looks up, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” 

Jack looks over and realizes Sam is sniffling too, and Cas looks like he’s about to burst with the emotions on his face. “Is this about the stuff you told me- that some people don’t like it when you’re not a boy or girl or when you change?”

Sam nods. “We’re just glad you know that’s not us, bud.”

“Well of course not. You’re my parents.” They’re suddenly taken over by a group hug, Sam and Dean come over to pile on top of them and Cas. They let the confusion of outsider ignorance roll off their back and revel in the love they have right here at home. After a few moments, their muffled voice says quietly, “Um, dads? The food is getting cold.”

And the spell is broken. It’s a normal family dinner.

#thedropoutthejunkieandmrcomatose #prompt #transnatural #nonbinary jack #trans dean #ftm dean #agender castiel #nonbinary sam #my writing

[holdyourbreathfornow]

OOOO 49 with romantic coomer and bubby :D

49. Giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath.

Put this under a read-more to save space! Hope you like it, Lovelace!

You can also find this on my AO3 under the same username!

Harold isn’t expecting for someone to be in his office when he gets to work that morning. He turns the corner to his office and the first thing he notices is the pattern on the ground caused by light shining through the wired glass. His guard up, Harold readjusts his grip on his suitcase so he can use the thing like a club, and heads for the door.

A scientist he doesn’t recognize sits in one of his guest chairs, examining their finger nails, and he figures they must need to see him about something. Some of the tension drains from him and he makes as much casual noise as possible opening the door, so he doesn’t startle his unexpected guest like they startled him.

The scientist shifts their gaze from their nails to Harold as he enters the room, but otherwise doesn’t acknowledge his presence in anyway as he sets his briefcase down and shrugs his own labcoat on.

“I apologize for keeping you waiting! I didn’t know anyone was waiting for me this morning.” Harold finally says, plastering his best customer service smile on and extending a hand to his guest. Their grip is barely there as they shake his hand, and they wait until he hesitantly sits down to speak.

“I don’t mind waiting, Dr. Coomer. Sometimes our profession requires a bit of patience, wouldn’t you say?” The scientist smiles, but something it seems… Fake, like they’re testing him on something, though he has no idea what.

“This job has certainly helped me practice that particular virtue, yes.” He agrees, slowly and carefully changing his genial smile into a look of confusion. “If you don’t mind my asking, what exactly have you come to see me about?”

“One of the projects in Experimental Biology, specifically one that you seem to have… Befriended, as odd as that is. B-U-88-Y, I believe, should be the identifying tag.”

“...What about xem.” Harold does his best not to seem too affected by the question, but he knows he’s failed when the scientist’s lip twitches minutely, finding amusement in his sudden worry.

“Well, since the two of you were so buddy buddy, I’ve been tasked with informing you that that project’s been disbanded.” When Harold freezes, the scientist cocks their head in confusion. “Dr. Coomer? Are you alright?”

“So, then… Then what will they do with the old project?”

“Oh. Oh, Dr. Coomer, I think you’re concerned over nothing. The project’s only been disbanded because the higher ups figured that the goal’s been accomplished. Even if I always personally thought B-U-88-Y was far from perfect, the final say was never mine.” The scientist watches as Harold sags with relief, and they blink in bemusement. “Xe even has xer own lab now, if you’d like the room designation code.”

“Please.” Harold mutters and the scientist nods, fishing a pen out of a pocket and snatching a pack of Post-Its off of Harold’s desk. “Thank you. For letting me know.”

“Well, the security sector tipped me off to how often you visited.” The scientist mumbles as they write, distracted. “Seems that that group of goons were really rooting for the two of you, much as they could with no audio on those cameras. I was cornered by some very concerned guards this morning, talking about how they felt you should be informed that the lab hosting the B-U-88-Y project was being refurbished so you didn’t walk into a completely new project and think the worst.”

“I’ll have to send them a fruit basket.” Harold chuckles and that makes the scientist snort, ripping the Post-It away from the pack and planting it on Harold’s desk.

“Yes, it seems a fair number of us were rooting for you.” They stand to leave and Harold stands as well as soon as his brain registers what they just said.

“Wait, who all do you mean by ‘us’?”

The only answer he gets is an echoing laugh as the scientist continues on down the hallway.

-

As soon as he has a spare moment, Harold picks up the Post-It still clinging to his desk and heads for the room number listed on it. Bubby’s new lab is in the astronomy sector, and Harold smiles at all the star charts and pictures of other planets’ surfaces. At least Bubby’s found a group just as interested in outer space as xe is.

Speaking of the devil, Harold finally finds the room that matches the number he’s been hunting for. The door doesn’t have a window for him to look into but he can see light filtering out from under it. Harold’s quick to knock on the door, though instead of waiting for an answer, he tries the handle and find it’s unlocked.

Bubby stands in the middle of the room, obviously having been on xer way to see what the knocking was all about. Xe must be able to see the stark relief on Harold’s face, hurrying towards him.

“Harold, is every-?” He cuts xem off, closing the gap between the two of them and dragging Bubby into a crushing hug. “Harold… Can’t… Breathe.”

“Oh, sorry!” He quickly loosens his grip and Bubby wheezes for air as xe rest xer chin on his shoulder.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you…” Bubby starts once they’ve got their breath back, “...But why are you happy enough to break ribs?”

“I didn’t, did I?” Harold asks, pulling away just enough to meet Bubby’s gaze, and Bubby rolls xer eyes and smiles.

“If you did, I’d be a lot more pissy. Now, answers, please?”

“Someone… Well, I found out about your project getting disbanded before I found out about you getting transferred to a new sector and I thought the worst, because. You and I both know it had always been a possibility and-”

“And you thought they killed me or something equally fucked up.” Bubby finishes the thought with a sigh, and Harold nods. “Well, whoever informed you was a dumbass and could have phrased the news so much better! They didn’t need to give you a heart attack! Who was it? I’ll set their ass on fire.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Harold shrugs and smiles, and Bubby’s eyes dart over his face before xe nod.

“I guess you’re right. And! An upside to being out of that damn tube is that we can take our lunch breaks together. And it’s about that time now. So.” Xe disentangle the two of them and hook xer hand into the crook of Harold’s elbow, starting to tug him out of the room. “Let’s go! I want the best seat in the cafeteria, Harold!” He laughs at that and the two of them start hurrying down the hall.

“Very well! Onwards and upwards, my dear!”

#hlvrai #hlvrai boomer #dr. coomer #hlvrai bubby #kai writes #kai fills prompts #asthecrowrambles #kai answers

[killjoysfromyesterday]

little angsty drabble - tw for medical ment, restraint, mention of bl*od and violence

word count: 700ish

summary: jet goes out for a drive on his own one night to clear his mind and ends up getting shot by a drac. he thinks it’s no big deal. the others do.

—————

"jet. jet, what happened? what's wrong?" poison asks when jet walks back into the diner that night. the redhead is shaking jet by the shoulders, and jet pushes them away a little too forcefully.

it hurts, his entire left side feels numb. he just has to stop them being so suspicious, and clean it up himself. it's not like he hasn't been shot before. besides, the two dracs that had ambushed him were dead, he had taken care of them and made sure there weren’t any others to follow his tracks.

"hey, the hell's the matter with you?" poison spits, hands flying up in the air as jet pushes them away. jet flinches hard, suppressing a hiss of pain.

"poison, stop. he's not lookin' so shiny." ghoul says, walking up behind poison. xyr face is etched with concern as they squint at jet in the dark.

and then jet's falling, the world's tilting and jet narrowly catches himself with a hand on the edge of the diner counter before poison and ghoul are both at his side, fussing to keeping him upright. the keys of the trans am clatter to the ground.

they drape his arms over their shoulders, half carrying him back to his bedroom. as soon as he collapses back on his bed, his vision gets fuzzy. he can make out poison and ghoul's faces over him, looking worried.

ghoul gasps, pointing to the edge of jet's shirt, where his abdomen is saturated with both dried and fresh blood. the damn ray gun wound must've opened when they were bringing him back to his room.

"witch, we gotta fix that, jet-" poison says, and jet musters up all the energy he has right now to shake his head. they're already low on bandages, what if something serious happens to someone else? he'll be just fine. besides, there's no one on watch right now, no one guarding the diner. he's being selfish, getting all dizzy over a couple shots.

he didn't even realize ghoul had left the room until xe re-emerges with a first aid in xyr hands, holding the pathetic last wrap of bandages they currently had at the diner. jet starts to sit up, to tell xem that xe can't waste the bandages, but poison's trying to get him to lay back down.

it all happens so fast. jet gets more insistent, poison grabs his arms in one of those hand to hand combat moves jet's seen a million times when they fight dracs. the action rolls them both onto the floor, where jet lands wheezing with the wind knocked from his lungs and poison on top of him. poison’s strength takes him aback, but he doesn't have time to focus on it because ghoul's dousing a needle and thread in alcohol.

"fuck, get his other arm-" poison curses, swinging a leg over jet's to stop him from kicking out. ghoul grips jet's wrist, not letting go even when jet's jaws snap dangerously close to ghoul's hand.

jet writhes underneath them, taking in deep, heaving breaths. he's sobbing now, slamming his head back against the floor in some futile attempt to make ghoul and poison let him go.

"jet. you gotta calm down, man." kobra's voice sounds from his other side, and he's not sure when kobra got here, but he can see the blurry figure of the blond over him.

great, jet thinks. now he's woken up the whole diner. he just hopes the girl is still asleep, so she doesn't have to see how pathetic he is. jet thrashes again, feeling kobra's hand under his head to stop him from bashing his head back against the concrete.

ghoul's stitching isn't nearly as neat as jet's own skilled hands, but. xe's working as quickly as possible because poison can only hold jet down for so long.

jet's struggling is getting weaker, exhaustion taking over. he's mumbling nonsense and thrashing in short bouts, until he's just reduced to crying and shaking his head. kobra's stroking his hair, poison's shushing him, and ghoul pats his leg reassuringly as xe works to put the first aid kit back together.

it's surprisingly easy for the three of them to pick him up, shifting him back onto his bed without jostling the stitching. he's having a hard time keeping his eyes open now.

"try to rest, jet." ghoul says softly. jet's drifting into unconsciousness, feeling poison cover him up with a blanket.

—————

#fun ghoul #cherri cola #danger days #destroya #dr. death defying #jet star #kobra kid #party poison #phoenix witch #show pony #my chemical romance #mcr #frank iero #ray toro #gerard way #mikey way #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys #ttlotfk

[schrijverr]

Love makes blind

Chapter 2 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d’Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: Jonnys low self esteem. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t forever, but the next conscious thought Tim had was waking up and the distinct feeling time had passed. Xe did not want to wake up though, xe was warm and comfortable, so xe burrowed xyr face into the warmth and groaned.

Above xem someone laughed and there were vibrations in the chest Tim was using as pillow. Wait, chest? Xe shot up and found xyrself hanging over Jonny, hands on both sides of his body.

He looked livelier than yesterday, however that wasn’t been very difficult with how he’d been. His eyes were still a bit red, but overall he looked good. Tim swallowed, before xe asked: “How do you feel?”

“Good, better.” Jonny answered.

Tim lit up with his voice, glad that Jonny wasn’t too overwhelmed to speak anymore, and said: “I’m glad.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jonny groused, “I was fine. No need to make a big deal out of it.”

That sobered Tim up a bit and xe frowned: “Jonny,” xe waited until he looked at xem, “you scared me yesterday, don’t say you were fine. It’s okay that you weren’t, but you don’t have to keep on a strong facade.”

It seemed Jonnys resolve was crumbling, but he still weakly tried: “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, no need to worry.”

“You know, that is not as comforting as you think.” Tim told him raising a brow at him, “It’s actually quite the opposite, you dealing with that on your own, why?”

Tears gathered in Jonnys eyes and he tried to blink them away, he shrugged weakly, he didn’t really have the energy to deal with this. His headache was gone, but he didn’t feel very rested and Tim looked so beautiful and concerned as xe leaned over him.

“You don’t know why or you don’t want to tell me?” god, Tim had always been too good at reading him.

“It’s stupid.” he mumbled.

“Why is that?” Tim asked and Jonny wondered if xe knew how pretty xe looked with xyr hair falling like a curtain xyr face, making a little bubble around them.

His heart ached with how much he wanted to pull xyr close and a sudden realization came over him as he remembered why he wanted to shoot again in the first place: impressing Tim.

Sure, when he found out it wasn’t working like he thought, he’d spiraled into obsession born out of fear of being incapable and not enough, but he felt like that most of the time, but the impressing Tim part had been new.

He blinked and a tear slowly slid over his face as he whispered: “I didn’t want you all to find out.”

His lip wobbled with the confession and Tim could only watch as his face crumbled again, still unable to do something about it and feeling like xe caused it.

Xe gathered Jonny back into xyr arms and leaned back on xyr knees, taking Jonny with xem as xe rocked him back and forth. Tim shushed and soothed him: “Hey, it’s alright, it’s all good. Just let it out.”

After a few seconds Jonny gasped: “No, no, it’s not.”

The hand that was rubbing his back stilled and Tim leaned back to look at him, a frown on xyr face: “Why is it not okay, Jonny?”

Xyr face was so open and honest that Jonny couldn't help but say: “It’s just not okay that I can’t seem to shoot right, so I can’t protect anyone and it all hurts and I can’t even do anything right without messing up and it’s all stupid.”

He was blubbering at the end, new tears flowing over tracks that hadn’t had the chance to dry. Tim held him close to xyr chest again, as xe tried to process everything Jonny had blurted out.

It was obvious that he was blaming himself, but it hadn’t seemed connected to the headaches, which what xe had asked about. Xe did have something to ask about now, however: “Can you tell me how your aim is connected to the headaches?”

Jonny took a few shuddering breaths against the crook of xyr neck, where he had hidden his face away, then he just gave himself over to telling Tim everything as he said: “The headaches got worse when I tried to shoot well again. I should be able to shoot well, but it’s gone now and whenever I try the concentrating hurts, but I need to shoot well.”

Tim frowned, that should not happen, at least xe thought it shouldn’t, but xe was not the best expert on normal human eyes, so xe focused on the last part: “You don’t have to shoot well, love.”

The pet name had just slipped out accidentally, but Jonny didn’t seem to mind, just burrowing his face further into xyr neck as he said: “Yes, I have. What if you’re all in danger and I need to shoot someone, but I miss and you all get hurt?”

“We’ll heal, we’re tougher than we look.” a hint of a smile crept into xyr voice.

“But what if it’s not enough, I can’t- I can’t loose you.” Jonnys voice cracked and Tim could feel xyr heart break a little for the First Mate.

Jonny sobbed against xyr again and xe resumed rubbing his back and rocking him back and forth as xe soothed him: “It will be enough, don’t worry. You’re not going to loose us, I promise, alright, I pinky-promise. I’m sure that with Brians knowledge, Ivys library and Raphs science we can make the headaches go away and get you to shoot again.”

“You really think so?” his voice was fragile, but hopeful.

“I know so.” Tim promised, hoping xe wouldn't have to break it.

Jonny sniffled a bit more, but the crying had stopped and he didn’t fight it when Tim pried him out of the crook of xyr neck and cradled his cheeks between xyr hands as xe wiped the tears away, smearing Jonnys run down make up in the process.

When xe was done they stared each other in the eyes, before both blushed as they realized that Jonny was practically straddling Tim and hanging off xem like a koala. Jonny let go if burned, but hadn’t realized that he was in an unstable position, only held upright by the arms around Tims neck, and toppled over backwards.

Blinking a few times he looked up at Tim, who was now kneeling between his spread legs. Both scrambled backwards until they were sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

Tim cleared xyr throat: “Well, uhm, sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Lets- lets just look for some people who can help, alright?”

Xe got up, not daring to look Jonny in the eyes as xe waited for Jonny to follow and tell xem to forget all this ever happened.

Instead Jonny whispered: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

Looking back xe saw Jonny, brow furrowed as he looked intensely to the bed, his cheeks were gray with ruined make up and he looked scared but also determined. He looked back up and stated: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. Thank you for being here.”

Wordlessly Tim stared at him while the words hung heavy in the air around them. Slowly xe said: “What?”

Jonny took a deep breath: “I said thank you for being here, it was nice that you cared enough to help me with my headache and then my breakdown, I didn’t mean to put all of that on you, but thank you for staying anyway. Now, please listen, because I don’t think I am physically capable of saying all of this again.”

It was quiet again as Tim went through the words again, then xe smiled: “No problem, Jonny. You didn’t dump anything on me.” a beat of silence, “And of course I care.”

“What?” Jonny looked startled.

“Of course I care enough to help you, why would you think I didn’t?” Tim asked.

Helplessly Jonny shrugged, before he explained like it was obvious: “I’m annoying and the reason you’re here and you hate me?”

Tim opened and closed xyr mouth in shock a few times, then loudly exclaimed: “I don’t hate you, what the fuck!”

“You don’t?” Jonny asked, just as shocked and confused as xe felt.

“No.” Tim said, “You’re my best friend.”

“I am?”

“Yes, of course you are.” Tim told him, “Didn’t- didn’t you know that?”

“Uh, no,” Jonny scratched the back of his head then quickly added, “but that’s not your fault. Nastya always says I’m socially oblivious and a doom-thinker with no concept of self-esteem. Her words.”

“Oh, Jonny.” xe sighed.

“Sorry?”

“Not sorry, you idiot.” Tim told him, walking back to the bed to give him a big hug, “I should’ve been clearer.”

Jonny swallowed and hugged xem back. He softly asked: “Why are you always trying to be better than me? Just confused if we’re friends.”

“Uh,” xe knew that xe had been showing off, trying to get Jonnys attention all on xem at every chance, because it was intoxicating to have, “Just the dynamic between us, I guess.”

“Hmm.” Jonny hummed, “Can we find a new dynamic? One where we don’t fight so much?”

“Course.” Tim said as xe let go, xe gave Jonny a look and commented: “You’re softer than normal, it suits you.”

Xe wanted to hit xyrself for that, but it was too late, the words were already out xyr mouth.

Jonny in turn just looked startled for a moment, then blushed heavily. Tim remember xe’d thought xe’d seen Jonny blush last night, now that didn’t seem so strange anymore. Jonny shrugged: “Doesn’t seem worth the effort to look tough when I just cried into your neck.”

Tim chuckled at that and after a moment Jonny chuckled too and soon they were giggling on the bed together at the weirdness of it all.

When the giggling had died out, Tim turned to Jonny and said: “You don’t have to pretend with me, okay?”

“You don’t either.” Jonny told xem.

For a moment they stared at each other. Time seemed to stretch out, until Jonny couldn't take it anymore and blinked as he cleared his throat, before he got up and said: “Well, we got people to find.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Tim said, quickly following him as xe tried to burn the memories of Jonny in xyr arms, Jonny looking at xem like that and Jonny giggling, into xyr mind to treasure forever.

Jonny cleaned up his face before they went back to the common area, maybe walking a bit closer than before the whole thing.

When they entered Ashes and Brian shot up and Nastya turned around to look at them. Jonny ducked his head in shame and hid slightly behind Tim.

“How are you feeling, Jonny?” Brian asked kindly.

“Uh, better, no headache anymore, still a bit tired.” Jonny answered.

“Good, I’m glad. You scared us.” Brain told him.

Jonny bit his lip, then softly apologized. Ashes wasn’t having any of it, they just said: “No need for that. Just tell us what the hell happened. You were just being yourself, albeit a bit more prickly and then suddenly you were down.”

Tim could see Jonny wasn’t about to answer that, so xe jumped in: “Jonny got a headache. He has them a lot, but was hiding them from us like a idiot, but him falling was nothing more than him getting overwhelmed.”

“Snitch.” Jonny glared at xem.

Dramatically putting an arm around him, xe replied with an obnoxiously posh accent: “Here to help, darling.”

Jonny shoved xem off, but he was smiling again. Nastya raised a brow at him and commented: “You two are friendly.”

They both got a bit red, then Jonny said: “So maybe you were right and xe didn’t hate me, but that doesn’t mean you get to be smug about it.”

“Yeah, we’re friends.” Tim added.

It seemed like xe’d cut Nastya off, who had been about to make a comment, but instead frowned and asked: “Friends?”

“Yes, Nastya, do keep up.” Jonny told her.

Getting back on topic Tim said: “Anyway, Jonny thinks the headaches have something to do with concentrating on stuff or something, so I thought maybe one of the crew would know something about that.”

Xe gave Brian a look, who pointed at himself surprised as Tim nodded, then he said: “Uh, could be something with your eyes, but Raphaella would know more about that.”

“Then we’ll go to her.” Tim said brightly, already pulling Jonny along.

Tim didn’t check to see who followed, but everyone was there when they arrived at Raphaellas lab, slamming the door open, startling her enough to make her drop a substance that ate through her desk.

She ignored it in order to wave at them with a smile as she asked: “What are you all doing here? Not that it isn’t a welcome surprise.”

Jonny got pushed forward by Tim as xe explained: “Jonny gets headaches from concentrating on stuff. Do you know how we can fix it?”

“I could’ve said that myself.” Jonny grumbled, getting ignored.

Raphaella walked up to Jonny and pulled him towards an examination table where she inspected his face carefully. She asked: “When do they happen the most?”

“Uhm, they started getting worse when I tried to focus on something far away a lot.” Jonny told her.

She brightened up and ran off to pull up a chart with rows of rings from big to small with openings at different places. She pointed at a top one and asked: “Where’s the opening?”

“Left.” Jonny answered, “Why are we doing this?”

“Just humor me.” she replied.

Jonny didn’t seem to have figured out what he was looking at, never having seen a proper doctors office in his life, but it dawned on the others what was happening here. An eye test. With big eyes they followed the proceedings.

They were on the fourth row when Jonny angrily exclaimed: “How is anyone supposed to see that shit. I don’t fucking know, okay. Happy? Can someone please explain why the hell I’m even doing this.”

“It’s an eye test, idiot.” Ashes told him from where they were standing next to him, “And I can see all the rows perfectly.”

“What! No?” Jonny said, leaning forwards and looking at the chart again, “No.”

“That could be the reason the headaches.” Raphaella explained, “Your brain needs to make too much of an effort to see everything and the strain outs itself in headaches. The more you try to see, the more you strain, the more headaches you have.”

“But I’ve never had any problems with my sight.” Jonny sounded a bit scared.

“Head trauma can also cause loss in eyesight.” Raphaella told him gently in an attempt to calm him.

“What about my mechanism? Shouldn’t it heal that?” the calming had not helped him.

Raphaella thought for a second, then lit up as she got the answer and proudly stated: “It’s probably that it was a design flaw. You lost your sight a bit, but Nastya already had glasses and with Brian it wasn’t an issue, same goes for Ivy, you know hard to have brain damage there, and by the time Ashes got mechanized Carmilla had gotten the flaw ironed out and it wasn’t an issue anymore.”

Jonny gaped for a second, then seethed: “That bitch! I told her my aim was shittier and she said it was nothing, that I’d just gotten lazy.”

“Hey, hey, Jonny, calm down.” Tim put a hand on his shoulder, “We know, she sucks, nothing to do there, but at least we can fix it.”

“I’m not wearing glasses.” Jonny huffed.

“Why not? Do you think they’re stupid?” Nastya said in a dangerous tone.

Jonny swallowed: “No, of course not. Just completely inconvenient.” and an obvious weakness he added mentally.

“Do it for us.” Tim blurted out.

“What?” Jonny asked and xe got looks from the others as well.

“If you wear the glasses, you won’t have headaches anymore. I don’t want you to have the headaches. If they’re as bad as the one from yesterday, I don’t want you to have them anymore. So even if you hate them, wear them for us.” xe explained.

It was quiet as Jonny thought it over.

On one hand he really wanted to make Tim and the others happy and wearing the glasses would make them happy, he also would be able to shoot properly again, but on the other hand he already was a stupid little asshole and the glasses would just highlight another place where he wasn’t good enough.

Apparently he’d been quiet for too long, because Tim softly asked: “Jonny?”

“Nothing.” he answered, gesturing vaguely, “It’s just- it’s just- you know?”

“I know it must suck.” Tim smiled gently, “But it’ll help. You’ll have to get used to it, but you will be optimally functional again.”

He supposed the pros outweighed the cons, especially if he would make Tim happy and be able to see xem better again. He sighed and agreed: “Fine, get me the stupid glasses.”

Raphaella dragged him off to do more tests to get the perfect glasses, while the others slowly left the room until it was just him, Raphaella and Tim. He was glad Tim hadn’t left him.

“Alright, I can have them in a few hours, though if you want different frames than these ones you will have to wait until we’re planetside again.” she held up a pair of golden wire frames, with slightly big round lenses.

“Try them on for a sec, I’ll tell you how stupid you look on a scale of one to ten.” Tim encouraged him teasingly, “Promise not to lie.”

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but humor xem, so he put on the glasses and looked at Tim and did a flourish: “So, how do I look?”

Jonny looked absolutely adorable. The glasses highlighted the soft features in his face and made his eyes seem bigger. Tim felt xyrself flush, xe would have to make a serious effort to talk to Jonny if that was what he was going to look like from now.

“That stupid, eh.” Jon laughed self deprecatingly, taking Tims silence for disapproval.

“No!” Tim stopped him from taking the glasses off, a bit calmer xe said: “No, you look- you look great, it suits you.”

Xe got a skeptical look, but Jonny shrugged and told Raphaella: “These have been Tim approved, apparently, so I guess they’re fine.”

“I think they look nice too, Jonny.” she told him, taking the frames back, “I’ll come find you when they’re done, okay?”

“Alright, thank you, Raph.” Jonny sighed, as he followed Tim back out of the lab.

When they were in the hallway, Tim asked: “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he didn’t seem convinced of his own answer and realized xe wasn’t either, so he shrugged: “Just another part where I went wrong.”

“Hey, you don’t get to be mean to Jonny, he’s my friend.” Tim told him. Xe was glad that Jonny laughed at the comment, then xe went on: “Seriously, though, needing glasses isn’t a weakness. It happens, Nastya has glasses, she’s not weak, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose, but she also has a lot of good points.” Jonny sounded so resigned and sad.

Tim stopped and grabbed Jonny. Xe looked him in the eyes and said: “You have a lot of good qualities. I never said this, because I thought there was no need to feed your massive ego, but it seems your ego is starving.”

“What are you going on about?”

“You’re a great person. You have many good points. You make sure everyone is alright in your own way and make sure everyone is happy. You’re the one keeping us together, everybody loves you, okay. Don’t get it into your pretty little head that you’re not, okay, cause you are.” Tim ranted at him.

It was quiet as Jonny blinked a few moments, then he nodded and said: “I’ll try?”

Not what Tim was hoping for, but good enough. Xe nodded back: “Good, I’ll make sure you won’t forget.”

They looked at each other for a second, then awkwardly coughed, before silently walking to the common area, to wait till Raphaella was done.

It wasn’t until dinner that they saw her again. In her hand she had the glasses and she proudly presented them to Jonny, who shrunk under everyone's eyes as he took them form her.

“Since when does Jonny have glasses?” Marius asked.

“Since today.” Nastya told him, “The idiot hadn’t realized he needed them.”

“Not an idiot.” Jonny grumbled, putting the glasses on the table.

“Oh come on, you’re not gonna try them on? I want to see if I got them right, come on, come on, please.” Raphaella said.

Jonny groaned, but still put on the glasses. He turned to everyone and said: “You get two minutes to laugh at me, then I’m murdering anyone who does.”

“What? Why would we laugh?” Brian asked, “They suit you.”

“Are you sure you’re not able to lie?” Jonny sounded suspicious.

Brian showed him the switch and smiled: “The glasses look good on y-”

“Holy fuck!” Jonny shouted cutting him off, “I can see your switch from here!”

He looked around the room with wide eyes of wonder, taking the time to look at everyone, sometimes shaking his head and looking again.

It was utterly endearing.

Then he looked up and gasped: “Did y’all know Aurora has panels on her ceilings as well?”

“Yes, yes, we did, Jonny.” Ashes smiled at him.

“Ahw, you’re so cute.” Marius told him.

Jonny flushed bright red and Tim suddenly wondered how xe though Jonny never blushed, when he blushed so easily and beautifully. Xe resolved to complement him more, just to see it.

Xe was pulled out of xyr musings with Marius falling over after Jonny had shoved him with a: “Don’t mock me, von Raum.”

“I’m not.” he exclaimed from the floor, “You look adorable when you look around like that. Like you’re discovering the world for the first time again.”

“Shut up and eat.” Jonny groused, not looking at any of them and stabbing his food harshly.

The others were smart enough to drop it and soon conversations had drifted elsewhere. Although Tim couldn't help but notice Jonny looking at stuff and grinning like a maniac to himself from time to time.

After that things went back to normal, only Jonny had glasses this time and xe and Jonny actually spend time together.

It was way more fun when they weren’t constantly trying to upstage one another and having Jonnys attention as xe told him about something stupid or made him laugh was even more intoxicating than xe would have thought.

They still played cards with Ashes, but they also talked together, hung out, softly played familiar tunes or existed in the same space in silence, just enjoying each others company.

A few weeks had passed like this and the whole crew was drinking together like normal while Marius was pissing Jonny off, also like normal. He was talking about some analyses or another when Jonny rolled his eyes as he drew his pistol and shot at him.

This was something normal as well, although instead of hitting the door frame next to Marius he shot the other straight through his brain, cutting him off mid-sentence as he fell to the floor.

It was quiet as everyone looked from Marius’s corpse to Jonny, who looked just as surprised as them. Tim broke the silence: “I guess the glasses are working then.”

Jonny grinned: “Hell yeah, I got my aim back.”

“Oh damn.” Ashes raised both their brows, “I always thought you were exaggerating when talking about your aim, since you were shit.”

“Wonderful what being able to see can do for someone.” Ivy deadpanned, not even bothering to look up from her book.

Tim laughed while Marius got up and frowned: “That was rude.”

“Then stop being annoying.” Jonny stuck out his tongue.

After that it went back to the usual shenanigans they got up to when drinking together, although Jonny did seem a bit more smug.

#RR writing #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #Nastya Rasputina #raphaella la cognizi #Ashes O'Reilly #marius von raum #drumbot brian #Ivy Alexandria #Love makes blind #Love makes blind chapter 2

[schrijverr]

Love makes blind

Chapter 1 out of 4

Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.

Getting together, slow burn.

On AO3.

Ships: Jonny d’Ville x Gunpowder Tim

Warnings: Jonny is kinds hard on himself and goes mute for a part of this chapter. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!

A/N: Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, I myself don’t so if I mess up, I apologize and please point it out to me :)

~~~~~~~~

Jonny used to be a pretty good shot, there was a reason Jack hired him for his hits. Jonny was the best shot in town. He’d been practically born with a pistol in hand as his father had taught him to shoot when he was a child.

The First Mate had always prided himself on that fact.

However, his aim had decreased after he’d joined Carmilla on her spaceship. When he’d first started missing he’d brought it up to her, but she’d waved him away as she chided: “You’re getting lazy, Jonny. You can’t die, so it doesn’t matter as much whether you hit or not.”

He’d taken some offense to that, not enough to risk opening his mouth, but still. He wasn’t being lazy, he tried to hit his targets, but sometimes the shots just wouldn't hit where he had intended them to hit.

After a while though, he did stop caring. If he died a few times more that was no ones fault but his own and in the grand scheme of things what did it matter anyway?

Then he met Tim and he did curse his lack of practice in aiming well, the gun-obsessed asshole loved laughing at Jonny whenever he missed and would shoot difficult targets just to piss him off.

So, Jonny returned to practicing once more.

Jonny would show Tim that xe wasn’t the only one who could hit a target. He didn’t know why he felt the need to impress xem, but he did and now he had a mission.

He would lock himself in a cargo bay and try to hit the targets from different distances. It was easier the closer he got, but he still was so bad at it and he didn’t understand why.

Maybe Carmilla had been right and he had gotten lazy and maybe he hadn’t cared about hitting or missing and maybe he had turned it into a joke to bring levity to his crew. But he had been shooting for millennia, he knew his pistol so intimately that surely he would get good again with a bit of practice.

He should have gotten better, instead he only got more headaches.

The headaches had started a few decades after his mechanization. They weren’t really a problem, just annoying and easily solved with some water or rest, but they started increasing in number and severity when he’d started practicing and wouldn't blow over from just some water or a couple of minutes of rest anymore.

When it first happened, he got annoyed, then when it happened more often he’d shot himself in irritation. However, instead of waking up feeling better, the headache had just gotten worse.

After that he started trying everything to make them be over.

He took to drinking about half a gallon of water each day, getting weird looks from some of the others. Ashes had even asked if it was alcohol in the big flask, sounding a bit concerned.

Jonny had informed them that it was just water and that he was trying to drink the recommended amount now. That had just made them even more concerned and a bit suspicious, although Jonny did not know why.

Not that it helped either, the headaches just kept coming, which lead to him giving up on drinking water and massaging his head, frustrated and at the end of his tether.

It didn’t stop after that and soon he found himself lying on the couch, moping while he hoped none of the crew would walk in on him and think of him as weak, while at the same time he desperately wanted someone to ask if he was alright.

Still he kept practicing.

He had become obsessed with regaining his ability to shoot well, a fear creeping into his veins that he would never be able to again and if push came to shove and his crew was in danger, he wouldn't be able to protect them.

The loud bang of his pistol would make him wince and the headaches only got worse, but it didn’t stop him.

Although he had stopped lying on a couch in a common area, having found that the light and background noises became too much.

Instead he would retreat to his room where he would tell Aurora to keep everyone away from him and turn the lights off, before he would crawl into his bed and lie there in a heap of misery under a shit ton of blankets as he tried to sleep the headache off.

Jonny was convinced that he was being stealthy about it. That none of the crew had noticed him disappear more regularly while Aurora tried to keep them away from his room. That they hadn’t seen him clutch his head more often before that or hadn’t witnessed his water drinking.

So when a part of the crew was hanging around and the headache hit again when he tried to focus on what Ashes was pointing at across the room, he pretended to understand what they were going on about, before he stretched and nonchalantly said: “I think I’m turning in early tonight.”

He got some raised eyebrows and concerned looks at that, so he dropped the faked nonchalance and snapped: “What?”

Brian shared a look with Ashes and Nastya while Tim just stared at Jonny, then Brian said: “We’re a bit worried about you, that’s all. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Something inside him tugged at him, telling him to open up about the headaches, to get their concern and care, but a bigger part of him got angry in defense afraid of being seen as weak or vulnerable.

“I am fine, Drumbot.” he growled, ignoring the guilt at his little flinch, “I am just tired and I don’t need your pity. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Don’t be a prick about it, Jonny.” Ashes crossed their arms, “He was just being nice, it’s what he does. Just because you’re a snappy up tight asshole, doesn’t mean you get to be mean to Brian.”

Some of the others also looked at him as if he’d done something very offensive and irredeemable and he was starting to feel backed into a corner.

It wasn’t his fault the headaches and stress were wearing him down. He tried so hard not to be a nuance about it, so that they wouldn't pity him or break him by caring. But when they asked him about it, it was so much harder to keep a strong face.

It wasn’t his fault he snapped, it wasn’t.

“Yeah, whatever, okay, won’t do that anymore.” he huffed with an eyeroll, not at all the agreement he was going for so that he could retreat.

“What is your problem, man.” Ashes frowned, “You know you were wrong there.”

“So what, Ashes, not like it has stopped me from being as asshole before now.” the irritation behind his eyes was growing stronger and he just wanted to leave.

“It’s alright, Ashes. Just let him be.” Brian tried to diffuse the situation.

“Thank you, Brian.” Jonny gave Ashes a look.

“No.” Ashes glared back at Jonny, “Don’t stick up for him, just don’t.”

“Yeah.” Tim inserted xyrself into the conversation as well, from where xe had been witnessing the chaos, “It’s like an unspoken rule to be nice to Brian.”

Jonny was sure that if Brian could blush, he would right now. Not that he cared about that at the moment. Everyone was turning against him and he did feel bad for not being nice to Brian, but he was tired and not able to deal with all this right now.

He threw his hands up and exclaimed: “Fine, I won’t. Not like I was planning on it, geez, let a man be.”

Then he turned around and started to stomp off, not caring that every harsh step made his headache worse.

His path was blocked by Nastya, who had crossed her arms and stared at him over the top of her glasses.

“What do you want now?” he asked, sounding more tired than irritated.

“You still haven’t answered Brians question, I think that would be a good way to make it up to him, don’t you.” she told him.

Jonny frowned: “Yes, I did. I told him I was fine, just tired and if you’d let me go I actually could do something about it.”

She spun him around, the sudden movement making his head pulse as he tried to reorient himself, and said: “No, you deflected and snapped. Give him a better answer.”

He couldn't see Brians face properly from here and concentrating hurt, but the fact that he couldn't pick up facial cues to figure out what was wanted of him scared him enough to try.

Squinting, he could make out Brians open and kind face as he waited for Jonny to give in to Nastyas request. Jonnys brain whirred as he tried to come up with a good answer that would please everyone enough to let him go.

“I just haven’t slept, didn’t see the use since we don’t need to sleep that often and it suddenly hit me, so I wanted to go. I am fine just tired, just let me go to bed.” he almost accidentally added a please behind that statement, but managed to catch himself in time.

“That’s a fucking lie.” Tims voice broke the silence, “You literally told me this morning you had a crick in the neck from sleeping wrong.”

Mentally Jonny cursed himself, he’d never had the best grip on time and it seemed longer ago than it apparently had been.

Beside him he could feel Nastyas anger grow: “Why are you lying to us, Jonny?”

“Who says it’s me that’s lying, Tim loves throwing me under the bus.” the indignant words were out Jonnys mouth before he could stop them and he mentally groaned at what would probably happen next.

He wasn’t disappointed as Tim immediately yelled at him for being unfair and other stuff Jonny wasn’t willing to focus on, since the headache was now really beginning to pound at an unbearable level.

Usually he would already in his room at this point and he cursed himself for being snappy. If he’d just been nice, he would be in his bed right now.

God, what he wouldn't give to be in his bed right now.

Jonny wasn’t focusing on anything anymore, he vaguely registered other voices starting to talk and get louder, but it was just a blur of sounds. His head pulsed and pounded and lights swirled in front of his eyes as the room started to sway.

It was all too much and he couldn't take it anymore. His hands clutched at his head again, pressing into his ears and eyes in an attempt to get it all to stop, as he crumbled to the floor, hot tears sliding over his face as he curled into himself.

The noise had stopped now, or at least it wasn’t loud enough to get through to his ears anymore.

Vaguely he could feel himself rock back and forth, but it didn’t register as something important, neither did the broken sobs that left his lips.

He would normally hate himself right now, and he was sure that later he would rage at himself for being so weak, but he was so so tired and he just couldn't take it anymore. He felt terrible and small and he wanted this to be over.

A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched away from it, toppling over in the process and letting out a small cry of pain when he hit the floor.

It was still for a moment, then he felt a hand pry at his own and he desperately tired to keep himself shielded from the outside world, but in his state he couldn't fight for long. He waited for the loud noises, but none came, instead there was a soft voice.

“Hey, it’s okay, Jonny. It’s okay, just tell us what happened” Jonny knew that voice, Tim, xe had a soft undertone that wasn’t grating on his nerves, which he was immensely grateful for.

“Are you able to talk, Jonny?” xe asked.

Jonny thought about that. Was he able to talk? He opened his mouth, but sounds seemed hard right now, but Tim wanted him to talk, he should try at least, for xyrs sake. He opened his mouth again, but still nothing happened. New tears formed in his eyes as he berated himself.

“That’s okay, it’s totally fine.” Tim told him, “Can you shake your head? Shake yes for yes and tap twice for no.”

Just the thought of shaking his head hurt, so he tapped twice and hoped Tim wouldn't be to mad at him.

A hand carded through his hair and he leaned into the touch. Tim spoke again: “I’m going to ask you some yes or no questions and I want you to answer them for me by tapping once for yes and twice for no, can you do that? Because I can also go if you want me to.”

A cold fear gripped Jonny at the thought of xyr leaving him, so he tapped once and hoped Tim understood.

“Good, good.” Tim murmured, then slightly more audible: “Does your head hurt?”

One tap.

“Is that the only body part that hurts?”

One tap.

“Does the light hurt?”

One tap.

Tim wasn’t speaking to Jonny when xe ordered someone to move. Soon the light was blocked by, what Jonny assumed were, the other three that had been there. He hoped they wouldn't be mad at him for being so pitiful, he hadn’t wanted to waste their time, really.

“Does this happen often?” xe asked, turning back to Jonny.

He hesitated, then tapped once.

“Oh, poor thing.” Tim sighed, “Did you feel it coming?”

One tap.

“Is that why you wanted to leave?”

One tap, along with a tearful sniffle.

“Why didn’t- Were you planning on telling us?”

Two taps.

“Is there a reason you didn’t want us to know.”

One tap.

“Would you be willing to tell us later?”

After a moment of hesitation Jonny tapped twice. It was already bad enough that he was in this situation and it wouldn't do to make it worse, make them hate him more.

“Is that why you’re crying?”

Two taps, not technically a lie, since it was only part of why he was crying.

Tim saw right through him and asked: “Is it part of why you’re crying?”

Jonny bit his lip, then tapped once. He was too exhausted to lie.

“Good, well done, I’m so proud of you.” xe whispered and he couldn't help but light up at the praise.

“Would you be willing to let us help you right now?” xe pressed on, hoping for one tap.

One tap.

Xe sighed with relief, then asked: “Do you know how we can help you?”

One tap.

It was good that there would be a plan, but Jonny couldn't talk right now, so they had no way of obtaining it. Xe looked at the others, who had been following this with concern. No one had seen this small breakdown coming.

Brian and Ashes were as clueless as xe was, but Nastya softly said: “Maybe Aurora knows, she’s been the one keeping us away from his room, I’m sure she’d keep an eye on him.”

Tim nodded and asked Jonny: “Can we ask Aurora how to help you?”

One tap and a bit of tension released from Jonnys shoulders that they hadn’t noticed was there before.

Xe nodded at Nastya, who looked at the ceiling where a small screen appeared: Jonny usually sleeps in his room in the dark and silence when this happens with a lot of blankets to keep him grounded

Tim softy read it to Jonny then asked: “Is that correct?”

One tap.

“Good, I’m going to pick you up and bring you to your room. Is that okay?” xe asked.

One tap.

Tim put one of xyr arms under Jonnys knees, the other under his shoulder and braced xyrself before standing up.

The movement made Jonny whimper slightly and he burrowed his face into Tims shoulder to hide himself from the world.

“Will you be okay?” Ashes asked and Tim could see they felt guilty about pushing Jonny.

Xe smiled and said: “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure you’re the first to know if he needs anything, but I don’t think more people is going to help him right now.”

Ashes nodded and stepped out of xyr way. Xe nodded at them before leaving, knowing that Brian and, well he wasn’t sure about Nastya, but Brian would try to calm them down, might even need a bit of calming down in return since it was his question that started all this.

Tim was secretly happy that he only had to deal with a nearly asleep and clingy Jonny, that seemed much easier right now.

Looking down xe saw that Jonnys face was mostly slack, only tensing up when they passed under a light or Tim accidentally jostled him. He looked adorable, xe’d always had a soft spot for Jonny even during the war back when xe was mortal.

Sure xe would tease him and snap at him and fight with him, but xe knew that when xe was down Jonny would come cheer xem up and he would listen to xem when xe talked about the war. About Bertie.

Bertie had had a soft spot for Jonny as well, Tim knew he had. There was no other explanation for how he’d held onto Jonny as well as Tim in their little foxhole or how he’d shared their rations of alcohol with Jonny.

He would’ve taken Jonny home along with Tim if they’d won the war together and Tim knew xe would’ve gone so easily and maybe, just maybe, Jonny would’ve come too.

Xe was so lost in xyr thoughts that xe almost didn’t notice arriving at xyr room. Xe had accidentally walked there on autopilot. Xe bit his lip, then shrugged, Jonny would forgive xem.

The door slid open, courtesy of Aurora and xe put Jonny down on the bed gently, before tucking him in.

Jonny stirred when xe put him down, but didn’t fight xem, instead he was pliant in xyr hands and willingly let himself be tucked in, leaning into xyr hand when they carded it through his hair, unable to stop xyrself.

Tim started to pull away, planning to leave Jonny on his own to sleep this all off, when a hand shot out and grabbed him. Even in the dark Tim could see Jonny had his eyes open, giving xyr a conflicted look.

“What’s going on?” xe asked.

Jonnys brow furrowed and he bit his lip, but he did not let go of Tim, who got a feeling what was going on, asked: “Still can’t talk?”

If it was literally anyone other than Jonny, Tim would’ve said xe saw a blush on his cheeks as he tapped once on Tims hand.

“That’s alright.” xe said kindly, “Do you-” it seemed absurd, but here went nothing, “Do you want me to stay?”

A hush fell over the room, despite the fact that it had been completely quiet before.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever until there was one light tap on Tims hand. Xe couldn't help the smile that took over xyr face as xe crawled back onto the bed and laid down next to Jonny.

Slowly xe felt Jonnys arm creep under xem until xe was being tugged onto Jonny. Xe gave him a questioning look and after a few swallows Jonny managed: “Pressure, helps.”

Tim nodded and made xyrself comfortable on Jonnys chest, legs between Jonnys and the whirring of Jonnys heart under xyr ear. Xe whispered: “This okay?”

A tap on his back, apparently that was enough talking for Jonny again, but at least xe got an answer from him. Xe snuggled closer and sighed: “Good. Sleep tight.”

Jonny squeezed xyr in return before he went boneless in the mattress and his breathing started to even out. Tim waited until xe was sure Jonny was fully asleep, before xe also closed xyr eyes.

Xe couldn't fall asleep immediately. Xyr thoughts were swirling with what had happened and how it had even happened. Xe couldn't shake the image of Jonny suddenly crumbling to the ground, how small he had looked rocking back as he waited for them to stop arguing.

Tim hated how Jonny had flinched away from xyr touch, hated how he’d cried while xe couldn't do anything to stop it, and xe hated how he’d lost his voice.

It had been so long since that happened last that Tim had almost forgotten about it and xe couldn't help but feel it was xyr fault. If xe hadn’t said anything about Jonnys lie, none of this would’ve happened.

But that also made xyr feel weird. Jonny had admitted this happened before and with how much Aurora knew about it, Tim doubted it wasn’t often. Still Jonny had hid it and he hadn’t planned on telling the others.

He would’ve been alone right now to deal with this and that made something constrict in xyr chest, xe much rather have Jonny right here in xyr arms, safe and asleep.

Xe looked up and Jonny and smiled at the peaceful, soft expression. The last time he’d seen that was when Bertie was still alive and The Toy Soldier had offered to take watch, even offering to be ordered, so Jonny knew it would stay.

Jonny sighed a bit, before burrowing his face into Tims hair, making xem giggle softly. Xe reached a hand out and started petting Jonnys hair, content to lie here forever.

#RR writing #Jonny d'Ville #gunpowder tim #jonny d'ville x gunpowder Tim #The Mechanisms #the mechs #Ashes O'Reilly #Nastya Rasputina #drumbot brian #Aurora #Love makes blind chapter 1 #Love makes blind