#anyway bc of all this i have no one to talk to and nothing to do for the next few days

[peasantexchangeprogram]

just trying to organize sum thots anyways. there is this brand of. not "converts", bc 99.99999% of converts dont act like this, n these ppl v rarely actually try n seek out conversion. but "conversion curious" ppl who talk abt wanting to convert to judaism. not bc they feel a connection to judaism, or jewish people, or even good old fashion philosemitism, nothing like that. bc its almost the only oppressed minority label u can gain simply bc u want to. not bc ur born to a specific group, or have a disability, or experience ur gender/sexual orientation in a different manner. simply bc u want to.

these ppl dont seek out to convert (again, they almost never do, bc the entire conversion process is solely for the purpose of weeding out ppl who dont truly want it) bc they love judaism or jews, they want to be more oppressed. scratch that, to *look* more oppressed. and this isnt exclusive to like cis ppl or white ppl or anything. they dont respect judaism. they respect jewish people even less. the littlegreenfag example is a good one (dont wanna call them by their "chosen name" bc they p much just clicked 'randomize' on jewish names in behindthename) bc if they respected jewish ppl they wouldntve done any of that. they wouldve said 'i want to convert to judaism'. maybe even mention they have distant jewish ancestry. not what they did tho (also note how they werent even in the process of conversion). if they respected jews n our history they wouldntve made up a holocaust survivor grandma who was personally experimented on by mengele (???). they wouldntve posted thinly veiled antisemitic posts abt jews n spread them around their gentile followers. they dont respect jews n judaism. they don't even actually wanna put in the work and convert. they want to seem more oppressed online for clout.

now ofc judaism n jewish ppl r no longer acknowledged as one of the most historically prosecuted minorities in the world, but rather something white ppl made up to sell more racism. i wonder what religion the tumblrinas will choose to ""convert"" to next. my bet is on islam or hinduism (can u even convert to hinduism? either way im sure theyll try) ("cruelty free" religions who have never oppressed anyone, ofc 🙄). anyways its like 11pm feel free to ignore all of this

[why-the-heck-not]

🥺🥺 I’ve been going to the gym during the day this autumn instead of the morning. Today went during the morning like I used to, and the cleaner greeted me and said that he thought I had quit bc hadn’t seen me around, and if everything’s good and that made my day

#i go through life always thinking I affect nothing & no one so things like these baffle me but in a very good way #like I am a human person alongside other ppl after all #i feel lowkey bad tho bc I could’ve been leas awkward and say ’’thanks’’ etc. but I wasn’t expecting to be talking to anyone #also he spoke english so the language barrier bc sure I know english like pretty alright but talking in it is different #but anyways; i love my gym and if I ever move I’m going to be honestly sad about having to switch (bc currently it seems very chill place & #don’t get that gym anxiety anymore bc I’ve been going there for like a year) #november 2023 #2023

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[satsuha]

u know im back on my bullshit

#octopath traveler ii #octopath traveler 2 #satsuhart #temehika #hikari ku #temenos mistral #i thought long and hard about whether temenos is a catboy or a dogboy (hound) #and in the end i decided on arctic fox. #i have.... thoughts but theyre all spoilery thoughts like no literally no one can talk about why they like them without mentioning spoilers #ive been seeing it happen on twt for like the past 2 weeks #but anyway (spoiler) (spoiler) just trust me dude. theyre a good ship #it has nothing to do with the fact that ive liked mage warrior ships for the past 5 years. shut up #also i bought csp v2 and the shading assist... she popped off a little w that one ngl #but im still very angry about csp's terrible autosave function #like fun fact that first pic? i dont have it in .clip format anymore LOL #it also deleted the little pic i made about my ship taste but i didnt know and i deleted that tweet bc i was embarrassed #i mean it isnt a big loss i can remake it anytime but like. shaking fist at csp autosave function #tags are really quite dangerous im not even sure if theres a limit? ill stop here tho gn... i am working on a temehika fic 👍 #octo2

[mamawasatesttube]

just remembered how megfitz made tim think about how bernard is so much better than all the other relationships he'd "settled for" and was once again briefly consumed by rage. meghan you apologize to zoanne wilkins right the fuck now

#rimi talks #like also apologize to ari and steph and all but. i specifically am a zoanne wilkins stan blog until i die. so #i can't lie. this line alone made me dislike tim/ber significantly more than i did before reading it #and the rest of tdr did Not help with that. #protip: if you have to put down women in order to prop up your m/m ship i WILL hate that m/m ship out of spite immediately #especially when you do nothing to sell me on the ship other than going HEY THEYRE PERFECT BTW. THEYRE SO PERFECT TOGETHER. like... ok #can you tell me why they even like each other tho. (she cannot bc she doesnt know how to write a mediocre romance forget a compelling one) #god i really just. that comic was a trash fire. lord. the mentions of kon in it made the kill bill sirens go off in my head #anyways. its fine tdr isnt real it cant hurt me. but meghan does still owe my girls an apology lmao

[lemongogo]

me admitting that i dont hate ast*rion after all .

#like him.even . maybe. #i just drew him and i was like teehee~kicks feet and giggles and thenni remembered who this was and #my face morphed in2 thousand yard stare guy #IM SRYYY IM SRRYYYYY #IM FALLIBLE !! #wat do u want from me. if its good taste in characters wwll. u r in tha wrong place . #though i do think its bc like . like tell me why he has 90x the content of anyone else #if i hear wyll say well met one more time im gna blow up our camp.IM SOOOz give me something anything pelase please #like he’ll have nothing for 30 long rests save for a line here or there #but astarion will just want to chat u up every night like can u equal it out please pls ❤️ karlach even . #anyways . i hate gale tho HATE GALE . GALE HATERRR ☝️☝️☝️☝️ #idk if its because i found him last or what but atp i dont care to get to know him #this game is legit saur fun . the exploration especially #like i spend 90% of my time opening every vase and crate and reanimating the dead on every1.talking to all the animalz #speak w the dead* i mean #also just rhe potential 4 the funniest mistakes ever #when auntie ethel disguised herself as mayrina in fromt of my eyes i didnt process it and killed her indtead of ethel HAHAAGAHAHAHAHHA #like the sjock of messing smth up so badly but u cant do shit abt it like ok!i guess ! #karlach pushing 1hp shadowheart in2 firepitcon accident and killing her . happy family❤️🫶 #bg3

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[front-facing-pokemon]

#ludicolo #and now‚ just like i talked about on the lombre post‚ i am legally required to say ¡¡qué rrico!! rrrrrr #something about miror b. and his groove. the trumpets are super funky but it's certainly not my favorite song from colosseum #that title is held by the cipher peon battle theme. i love that one SO much it's like the background music of everything that happens to me #the guitar is what sells it for me. but that has nothing to do with ludicolo. rain dish is stupid when it's a double battle and all you have #are a bunch of fucking ludicolo. lookin at'chu‚ miror b #i also remember him for his sudowoodo bc that was his shadow pokémon but like Come On. Come On #anyway. i've been sitting here for like 2 minutes trying to think of something else to say but i can't so have a ludicolo on the house

[ultra-violetra]

so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious

all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair

i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!

at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself

#really just posting this as a precaution bc I feel like people get mad at me for posting about strategies and it makes me sad #because i'm trying to have fun #and i would love to watch and support everyone but i cant there isnt enough time and i dont speak french #anyway let people support red team without getting jumped #they're just talking about their streamer like chill #like genuinely the way people are talking on here makes me feel bad for supporting red team #until i remember that i did nothing wrong they're just being mean #i get youre defensive but like YOU are the one creating discourse my guy #we're just over here talking #thought about switching it up for today and watching blue team but then i rememberd #i dont have to appease you i can do what i want #if i want to watch red team and talk about red team then i can do so #if you have a problem with that it's your own fault #sorry these tags are really sassy but like fr people need to chill #talking about the discourse all the time only makes it worse #and i want to keep talking strategy without having to defend myself constantly #because i hate when people intentionally misinterpet my words #ok rant over #qsmp

[cannibalismyuri]

coming out as a passive jopper hater bc the insane level of capitalist pandering they did with s3 (with ERICA who is like. one of the worst, stereotyped portrayals of a black girl ive ever seen, bless her heart) was truly crazy. combine that with the copaganda and the general attitude of hopper in s3 which was played off as 'awkward loser guy doesnt know what to do with Feelings more at 8' was a bit .... Eh :/ to me. because it is so obviously a fictional character and show but like. disliking hopper/jopper bc of the ideals st is perpetuating and the fact that they arent compatible at All in s3 (to me, atleast) is valid. some ppl might just think that jopper is unhealthy and/or 'overrated'. because they do sort of pay a disproportionate amount of attention to jopper, compared to the other canon romantic ships (afaik, bc of the screen time counter) and that can be Weird, esp with the... how should i say this? balancer/savior role hopper takes in the relationship (we constantly see him placating joyce, sometimes even being slightly patronizing, and also they place a lot of importance on him saving joyce from a lot of stuff, which is cool and sick if it wasnt for the fact that it directly correlates with him being a cop, yk). and the general power imbalance bc he's a Cop and abuses his position of power constantly, and that is exactly Why anything that joyce does is seen as a #insane girlboss category 5 woman moment because she simply has the short stick in the power race and when she does manage to make an impact DESPITE her economic/social/'general uselessness in say in Major decision-making when it comes to authorities' shortcomings it is seen as an amazing win. hopper on his own is extremely fleshed out as well, because we get to see his arc play out with his relationships with his daughter and ex-wife and el and re-learning how to be a parent and how to not let love allude him, and that is lovely! it's so great to see the adults in the show being focused on! but joyce is absolutely disregarded and underdeveloped as a character of her own right outside of her relationships with hopper or her kids. we see that she is determined and a force to be reckoned with and that she cares very deeply for the people she loves and would go to insane lengths for them but all that doesn't Mean anything, because we never see a backstory for her. we never figure out who she is without her family or hopper, or what her motives and aspirations and emotional shortcomings and stumbles and mistakes are. for a character to be fully fleshed out, they need to be an interesting, refreshing and palatable character On Their Own without their relationships with other characters, and we just don't see that with joyce. like u have Thee winona ryder on ur show, and u forsake developing her character in favor of developing hopper's character with /not the best taste/ and causing her to be a blank slate of a mother, lover, woman and friend, but not a PERSON. all she's been reduced to is a Mother and Hopper's Girlfriend, and honestly, that's the worst decision they could've made in relation to her and her relationship with hopper.

anyway, all this to say; these are my thoughts on the matter, but i'm definitely not hating on people who enjoy jopper passively and DEFINITELY not any by/ler (the most predominant fandom im part of in the parent fandom of st) who enjoys them as a ship with their own dynamic separate from canon. because the by/ler fandom is NOT a monolith and nobody is obligated to agree with me or change their opinion if it doesn't align with mine or be forced to look at my opinion and feel bad for shipping anything. im not going to act Holier Than Thou for expressing my opinion and u should definitely continue shipping jopper if it makes u happy! as long everybody recognizes the copaganda and capitalist mindset grind propaganda shit in st (which is Pretty Obvious) and respects that while shipping what they want, i have no problem with it. all that is to say; peace and fucking love. can we (the by/ler fandom) stop fighting abt jopper we all have our own opinions this is bc we are Not a hivemind or a monolith and not obligated to have the same opinions relating to all aspects of st just because we happen to ship one thing. i am a hater and a lover

#anti jopper #<- i dont want the shippers to see a Big Ass Crit Post of their ship its not fair to them they ain't disturbing us. so stfu and let me be. #everyone who's ever talked to me outside of tumblr knows i have a strict no discourse no outright hating policy on this blog bc i wanna #remain a positive space in the st fandom. and this is the one and only time i'll be posting abt smth i dont like. #i am a MASSIVE hater abt st and other things as well. i am SUCH a petty bitch. but i want this blog to stay a sunshine rainbows place! #bc discourse is generally upsetting for everyone involved and the One Time i actually went hatergirl on here i got several death threats. #so respect that i will Not be speaking on this or anything else more ty bc ive had anons try to ask me for my Big Bad Opinions before and #like. no. no honey im not going to be controversial on main can we all just like our silly ship rb silly fanworks make silly fanworks . #anyway i do feel pretty passionate abt this so im making this a post but like. NOTHING ELSE. dont send me asks trying to ask for my opinion #unless i specifically ask for them. ok thx :) if u've read till here ur a real one and ily ! #stranger things (sara's version)

[echo-s-land]

It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you' #its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.) #anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point) #am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism. #there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that. #he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me. #and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline. #and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad. #i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself. #but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after. #i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

[tiger-balm]

some people are soooo negative all the time like girl shut up !

#like maybe if you stepped away from your screen and experienced the real world you would realize nothing is that serious <3 #like at this risk of “toxic positivity” or whatever #i just personally i dont think yelling online about players or coaching or whatever is productive or healthy #the world isnt ending bc of one bad game from a team or from a player #and unless you work for the team it really doesnt impact your life at all lol #so why not just have fun when you can <3 #anyway whatever #sometimes i would just like to look at things for my teams without having to scroll through a million negative posts #talking to myself

[jorvikzelda]

today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago

#z talks #like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed #(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning) #remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’ #babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man #and thats the only one youre looking back on #its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time #(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS) #And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys #its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on #no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted #(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary. #This Was Also Wrong.) #was a weird time man. a truly weird time #anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3 #as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks #get well flowers <333333 #and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight #With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically! #They coexist Wonderfully <3 #Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed #Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic #I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.

[usareiis]

Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅

#like sjdjdkdd?????? #it's not that i don't think ciel loves sebastian per se bc. well. i don't think he'd ever process it in terms like that no matter what... #...kind of relationship they have bc the most important thing to him is getting him to do tasks like a dog and proving he will over and over #which is why sebastian does it all so overkill #but the most acknowledgement you ever get that ciel likes sebastian is stuff like idk the fucking book of atlantic you did good today #or if we're feeling really crazy the you were the only demon there line #like the dynamic has gotten way skewed in fandom away from the actual text #and i know why but it's still annoying bc i am not even saying this in a shippy way bc i don't give a fuck about ships #but they're so crazy entwined and in completely incomparable inhuman situations that it literally has no merit on this story to sit and... #...definitely piece together how this relationship works with real life normie standards like it literally is going to fit into no box of... #...what we think of as friends or siblings or parents or partners bc no victorian guy on the face of the earth has a real pet demon. #it's so boring you're missing the bigger picture that they're everything to each other and completely stuck together forever #does x mean y mean z? (least problematic answer only) they're stuck together! forever! #and no one has demons in real life it's all comparable to real life nothing #other than the asthma that's real #anyway. it's like fandom has made up a version of this story in their heads that is so devoid of anything that makes the story the story #twitter is like another planet for this i am mostly talking about twitter where i have been looking for news about the anime and oh boy #i have said this before but sebastian doesn't have a grip on human relationships bc he's not one and ciel doesn't give a fuck #but like this post started with and strayed from. well. sebastian isn't even trying to act like he's indifferent. ciel actually is. #and we're all missing several funny bits from that just trying to fit everything into a box #we could have more interesting conversations if we got past the same three people have been having for 20 years #kuroshitsuji #my kuro posts

[hightowres]

why do i feel like there’s some sort of veil between me and the rest of the world

#like i just feel like there’s this weird seperation #ppl all seem to have such full lives and be so connected with friends and stuff #but it feels like i can’t fully join in?? #like i have friends and ppl i love and hobbies and whatever like i have a life #but sometimes it feels like i blinked one day and everyone else found their ppl and their super close knit #and i’m just like?? how do i cross this invisible curtain between me and everyone else #like sometimes i meet someone and we get along super well and then we just don’t hang out more #maybe bc i suck at texting ppl back #but i feel like nothing ever deepens #anyway #ignore me #today was a good day #apart from one thing lol #even on here like i love love love my mutuals but i lowkey feel like everyone’s closer with other ppl than with me?? #i’m think i’m feeling a bit lonely bc i’ve been so busy lately i haven’t spent much time with anyone #and it feels like i just am missing out a lot #and i’m definitely someone who appreciates having alone time but i do actually like socialising and connecting with ppl #talking to ppl is one of my favourite things ever i think there are so many incredible ppl to find out more about and become friends with #nadiya.txt