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thelaundrybitch · 2 years

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The Other Woman - Dreamland Series

Hello, My Turtle Doves 🥰

Dropping you a little spice before tomorrow's LBH update.

Rating: Spicy, angst, fluff, explicit language

Warning: Mentions anxiety

18+ content - for mature audiences only!

Reblogs only, please!

The Other Woman

"Leo?" I call as I enter the common room of the lair.

"Oh hey, girl! Long time no see!" Says Mikey, pummeling me with a bear hug.

"MIKE! Oh my goodness! I was literally just talking about you like 20 minutes ago to my friend!" I tell him.

He pulls back and raises an eyebrow ridge.

"She knows I have four guy friends that I visit constantly," I tell him with a giggle.

Both eyebrow ridges are raised now, a smile creeping across his adorable face.

"What?!" I ask him, feeling judged by the look he's giving.

"You and your… Sneaky explanations," he says, shaking his head. "What did she say about your *guy friends*?"

"She thinks it's awesome that I have such close male friends, and wishes she had some too," I giggle.

"Oh? Well, how does she feel about the color orange?" He says with a huge grin, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Orange is nice, but I'm pretty sure her favorite color is red," I whisper, knowing my friend's personality would be better suited for Raph.

He lets out a disappointed sigh, "Well, it doesn't hurt to ask," he says. "And I think you should mention that to Mr. Muscles himself," he says with a wink, kissing the back of my hand.

I smile and roll my eyes as he continues his shenanigans and kisses the backside of the other hand.

"I can only do this when I know Leo is busy," he giggles.

I pull my hand away from him, elbow him playfully and laugh. "Where is that man, anyway?" I ask.

"In his room cleaning like a maniac," he says, shaking his head. "He's done all his laundry, fixed a few things that needed to be fixed, and deep cleaned his bathroom. He even stripped his bed and washed all his sheets and blankets," he says with a look of shocked terror.

I could feel my face starting to flush. "Oh wow," I say, turning away from him and heading towards the hallway that leads to the Leader's room. "I'm gonna go see how he's doing in there. I'll catch you later, Mike!" I say, and I hear him chuckle.

"Have fuuUUuuun…"

I hear him bust out laughing as I can't help but flip him off as I walk around the corner, never bothering to look back at him.

I come to Leo's room and don't hear any movement, so I figure he's done with his sudden onset of OCD cleaning.

I knock once and open the door.

As I walk into his room, he's walking out of his bathroom, glistening, in nothing but a towel.

…….

Both of us stand there looking at one another, eyes huge, but only for a moment, until my thirsty ass drops my gaze. Swallowing hard, my eyes appreciate every muscle, scale, and scar his body has on display, beads of water collecting then rolling down the medial suture of his plastron. When my eyes return to his face, I can see that he's breathing hard, his eyes dark, scanning my body like I'm his prey.

"You're here," he says, hungrily licking his lips.

My eyes flutter as I nod, licking my lips and crossing my arms over my middle, feeling naked under his salacious stare.

He shakes his head, taking a few steps forward to me, unfolding my arms and putting my hands on his sides where the towel meets his skin. I gasp as he cups my face, whispering, "Please don't hide from me," right before claiming my lips with his own.

Zero build-up. He goes from zero to 100 as he pulls my mouth open and massages my tongue with his own, spinning us and walking me backward to his bed.

Breaking the kiss, he moves his mouth to my ear and growls, "Up," as he nudges me into his bed, his hand already under my tank top, unbuckling the clasp for my bra.

"Leo," I say in a breathy voice, trying to scramble onto his bed, backward.

His mouth is nipping and sucking at my neck and collarbone as he climbs on top of me. Moving his towel to the side just enough so he can make himself comfortable between my thighs, he pushes his fully erect member into the thin fabric of my leggings - the only thing that's keeping us apart.

He's BIG.

"Holy shit, Leo," I gasp as he covers my mouth with his and moans into it. His tongue searching for mine again, adding some suction to his possessive kissing.

His hand wanders down to the top of my pants, his thumb finding its way underneath, lowering itself even further to find the top of my panties.

He pulls his lips from mine and kisses my jaw to my neck, whispering how badly he needs me and how long he's wanted this.

And you know, I can't leave well enough alone and enjoy what I know would be the most amazing sex of my entire life. No. I have to comment on the anxiety that's floating around the back of my mind from my earlier conversation with my friend.

"How long?" I ask him, trying to focus on where his lips are traveling from my neck to my chest, as he continues rubbing his erection against my core.

"Right after we met," he confesses.

"What about… her…" I say, his lips and hips coming to a screaming halt. Eyes huge, he looks up at me from my chest, guilt flooding his handsome face.

"I'm sorry, Leo. I can't do this until I know," I whisper, "because I know I haven't been the only one."

His face drops, and his eyes look down, "you have always been the only one," he says, leaving me confused.

"Leo, I lived through six months of horrible anxiety and heartache as I watched you dating another woman," I tell him with a scoff.

"It was stupid. She was a mistake," he says, shaking his head, sitting up, and re-covering himself with his towel.

I sit myself up, not bothering to readjust my clothing, and look at him. "Just because you regret it doesn't mean it didn't happen. And I know, honestly, it's none of my business what happened between the two of you, because it's not like you and I were together. But I feel like I was seriously misled! We were so close, and we did everything together, all the time. I mean, for God's sake, you'd get pissy if I hung out with Donnie for a little while longer than I did with you! You were the initiator of cuddling and snuggling while watching movies and tv, or reading together. And the touching! You! Holy hell. You don't keep your damn hands to yourself! Like, ever! Not that I'm complaining… But come on!" I ramble in a string of frustrated verbal vomit. "And then just randomly, one day, you come in with her," I say, my voice breaking.

I shift my eyes to his face, and he has the saddest, most heartbreaking expression I've ever seen.

"You deserve an explanation," he says, glancing up at me and then back down.

He lets out a long sigh.

"I knew I had growing feelings for you. And I knew I shouldn't. Couldn't. So I went to my brothers and told them that I was unsure about my feelings for you. After a long conversation among the four of us, I decided I needed to try dating other people. I asked for opinions, and it was suggested I try dating someone who was your complete opposite, and if that didn't clear it up, then someone that was very similar. So I started dating her. She was a mixture of the two types they suggested for me to try - dating-wise. And after a week, I was ready to call it quits. I saw the hurt in your eyes, even though you'd smile at me and pretend like everything was fine. But when I told my brothers, they told me I needed to give it time. Give her time. Don volunteered and said he'd keep you company and occupy you with projects. You know, keep your mind off of me," he tells me.

"Wait, wait, wait. You knew I had feelings for you?" I ask him.

He shakes his head, "No. I wanted you to. God, I would've given up everything for you. I still would," he says, looking me in the eyes and cautiously putting his hand over mine. "All I knew was that we were close friends. I would even say you were my best friend. And then, suddenly, I was spending 90% of my time with someone other than you, after I had demanded all your time for the last, what? Four years before that? I knew it would hurt you. Hell, I was hurting. But I didn't realize we were hurting for the same reason," he says.

"So what then?" I asked, pulling my legs up onto the bed, pulling my hand from him as I wrapped both arms around my legs that I now had pulled up to my chest, trying to hide my hurt.

He sighs. "I listened to them and agreed to let Don take over as your new closest friend. He kept you busy, and I tried to date. Tried. She wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you. But you seemed to be happy hanging out with Donnie, so I figured my feelings were one-sided. I knew if that were the case, then I really needed to distance myself from you. I kept trying to get closer to her, but each time I did, it felt wrong. I was there with her physically. Watching movies and cuddling her," he says, stopping and looking at my reaction worriedly before continuing, "but my mind was with you. My heart was with you," he whispers.

He sat and stared at me for a minute before continuing.

Breathing out a huff of air, he says, "It just about killed me when, after a few months, I came into the lab and saw Donnie hovering over you, helping you with his mini welder. You giggling, and him smirking and whispering in your ear. His hands sliding down your sides to your hips as he told you how great you were doing," he confesses.

Oh, my heart. I had no idea he saw any interactions between me and Donnie. Nothing had happened other than him teaching me to weld, but I could see Leo's heart breaking as he told me.

"Then, a few months after that, I saw you in the common room, and you told me how happy you were that I found someone," he says, swallowing hard, eyes glossing over.

"I didn't mean it," I whisper, feeling tears collect in the corners of my eyes. "But... What else are you supposed to say when you accidentally bump into the man who stole your heart, looking happy as he holds a small jewelry box."

He huffs with a sad smirk. "It was supposed to be for you. It was your birthday gift," he says.

"What." It's a statement, not a question. I drop my legs back down on the bed in shock.

"I made you a necklace. Mike helped me," he says sheepishly.

I sit there looking at him, my heart blossoming with love and butterflies.

"Then I came into the lab to give it to you, and Donnie had you pushed up against his workstation table, his hands in your hair, and he was trying to put his tongue in your mouth," he says, jealousy and anger taking over his previously sad expression.

My eyes go wide, and my face drops in horrible embarrassment. I flush at the memory of Donnie asking me if he could give me a birthday gift, followed by the sexiest kiss known to humankind.

"And that was it. I didn't even care that she was behind me. He deserved that punch in the mouth. He knew how I felt about you," he says. "After I stormed out of there with her yelling *what the fuck Leo?!* I broke up with her. Right then and there in the common room. I told her I was sorry for wasting her time, and that she was a lovely person, but she would never be you."

"Oh my God, Leo, you didn't," I say, half in horror for the poor woman, the other half completely exuberant.

"She was gone when you came running out to me, wasn't she?" He asks.

I nod after thinking about it for a moment.

"Speaking of which," he says with a smirk, "What happened to Donnie after that? Why did you come running to me to ask if I was alright? I hit him pretty hard," he says.

"Are you really asking me this question?" I ask, "because I'm fairly confident you already know the answer to that."

"I just want to hear you say it," his voice dropping to a whisper, a serious expression taking over his facial features.

"Because I love you, you jerk," I say with a smirk, scooting over next to him, bumping my shoulder into the side of his arm.

"Does this mean I don't need to start over from scratch again?" He asks, eyes full of hope as he looks down at me.

I give him a devious smirk, "I might make you work for it, a little bit," I tease, leaning into him.

"I don't mind work. You're worth it. Honestly, I'd start over from scratch again if I had to," he says with a relieved smile, leaning down to kiss me.

I give him a couple kisses before poking his plastron, "Is that what you're sleeping in tonight?" I ask him.

He sighs, "I suppose I should get shorts on. Tonight didn't go how I was hoping," he says, one eyebrow ridge raised, looking at me.

"Sorry," I say, looking down with a pout.

He turns his body to me, reaches over, and pulls my chin up, making me look back in his eyes, "Never be sorry for wanting to talk things through. Especially when it's about your feelings. I want to know when you're unhappy or uncomfortable. I've learned my lesson. I want to fix things before they become unfixable, ok?" He says sternly.

I nod, stand up and move to sit on his lap so I can reach my arms around his neck. He puts his arms around my middle and squeezes me.

"Whatever happened to the necklace?" I whisper in his ear.

"I still have it," he says. "Don't worry, it's all yours. Just not yet."

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turtle-go-brrrr · 3 years

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Scratch my shell, I scratch yours

A/N: Heya! So remember two posts ago where I said I wouldn't write fics because I'm not confident enough in my writing to post it? Yeah, me neither. I started writing this at 6 am because I couldn't sleep and kept working on it during the day, so enjoy ^^(I got a little tired at the end, and i think you can feel it ;w; hope it’s good enough anyway!)

Also, I’m a sucker for platonic intimacy, and there is a severe lack of platonic x reader in this fandom

Fun fact: the Shell is both the Dorsal (part on the back) AND the Plastron (part on the front).

Requested: No

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 2500 +

Triggers: None

Summary: You make an embarrassing suggestion that they surprisingly accept.

_____________________________________________________________

The idea came to you in a random conversation you had as you sat on their couch.

"But wait, you can really reach everywhere? Like if I touch here-", you point to a crevice in the middle of his shell. "You're telling me you can bend your arm enough to get here?"

Leonardo gently takes your wrist and pull your hand away. "I mean, we have some of those telescopic scrubs to help, you know? Or we can just ask each other to get to the hard places if it's really complicated."

Oh.

"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense."

You have been asking a few questions about their shells after Raphael started showing off some of his scars, fascinated by the intricate patterns you could see on your friends. The topic of cleaning has be brought up, and as your curiosity took charge, your brain decided to embarrass you as much as it could.

"Do you think I could help?"

Only the faint background music Mikey had set up earlier could be heard as your mutant friends looked at you, eyes wide open.

Oh, that came out wrong.

"Wait, that's not what I-", you start to explain your line of thoughts when you get interrupted by the smug look Mikey sent you, as he harbored a teasing smile.

"Oh? I didn't realize that's what you meant when you said you wanted to hang out more," he wiggles his eyebrows as your nervous laughter fills the room.

"Hold on, I can explain."

Silence again.

"Oh, you're actually listening?"

"I mean, I think we're all dying to know why on earth you'd want to take a shower with us. You're not usually this upfront with your affection," Donatello chimes in. He's not even looking at you in the eyes, but doesn't really try to hide that stupid smirk.

Bastard.

You take a deep breath, trying to focus on not letting the embarassement take over, but your voice shakes imperceptibly, and you can feel youself start to sweat. Great.

"Okay, so I was thinking : you guys always do so much for the city and never get anything in return. I remember Mikey told me that you guys love shell scratches, and now I can see that you have some trouble cleaning it, so maybe I can help with that ? Kinda like a massage sort of thing, it doesn’t have to be weird if no one makes it. Now obviously we’ll be wearing swimsuits, we’re not close enough for… you know… actually taking a shower together, " you try clearing your throat discretly. You hear a muffled laugh from Raph.

"Anyway, I think Casey knows where to buy the best animal care product. I think human stuff might not be suitable for your shells, and I read somewhere that water was the best way to clean a turtle shell anyways, but if you have suggestions just let me know what you usually use. Do you even have swimsuits ? Doesn’t matter, I’m sure we can find you some-"

As you rambled on, the slight shame started to wear off and you were able to explain your line of thoughts more clearly. The awkwardness of the situation seemed to settle down, even if your friends were absolutely going to tease you about it later. Leonardo seemed hesitant, though.

"I don’t know, man. Are you sure about this ? I don’t want you to feel like you have to. We can take care of ourselves, you know."

"I’m not gonna force you if you don’t want to, I’m just offering because I want to do something nice for you guys. You can’t really take a break, but you could at least relax a bit."

"I’m up for it." You didn’t expect Raph to agree so quickly, but maybe you should have anticipatd that as you look at the bags under his eyes. "I mean, the worst thing that could happen is falling asleep while getting a massage from a friend. Kinda sounds like a dream if you ask me. "

‘Well that was easy,’ you think as your face lightens up.

"Besides, we can laugh at them for wanting to shower with us. Didn’t think you’d want to be so intimate, " he purrs as he gives you a side glance.

Oh. Bastard number two.

"Alright. Sure. You know what, fair game, " you laugh it off. Mikey puts a reassuring arm around your shoulders as Donnie places his legs on your laps.

"We do have swimwear, so you don’t need to worry about that. And you were right about using only water to clean it, as human products tends to make us itchy afterwards. There are some types of oil we use sometimes to nourish our shells, however. I think the only thing we might need to look into is new brushes. The ones we have are, hum, barely hanging on."

You send a quick text to Casey and April to let them know about the plan after making a short list of supplies with Leo, who ended up agreeing.

It didn’t take that much convincing.

____________________________

Saturday came fast. After getting all the necessary supplies with Casey, you both made your wait to the lair to join April. They had both agreed to help you in your task, because 'damn, they really need some appreciation'.

"When do you think they'll be back?" You ask Splinter as he offers you a cup of spiced tea.

"Usually around one in the morning, unless they were delayed."

Unless something went wrong.

But those dark thought quickly faded away as you heard the faint echo of Mikey's laughter as he recalled their night. Light chatter filled the room as they took off their gear and put away their weapons, and April hushed them to get changed and take a quick shower so they could get started and finally have some sort of a break.

You could see they were excited as they each went their own way, waiting for their turn to the shower.

When you live in the sewers and try to turn it into a living space, you have to do what you can with what you have. And sometimes, what you have is a large space that you can turn into a huge bathroom, with multiple showers and a large bathtub; but what you don't have is privacy. So big communal bathroom it is.

In this specific case, it's a good thing, because it means you can all chill together as you get to work on their shells. Once everyone was settled in, April motioned them to sit on some of the chairs you put up. She opens the bag Casey and you brought and starts getting the multiple brushes and bottle out.

"You have to understand that you guys are, uh, gigantic. So try to stay at our level, okay? And stay put, please. Anyway, here is what we've got for you: there are multiple brushes - one of each type for each of you - and some are harder than the others. Don't worry, we'll try not to scrub your shell off of you," she winks at that, and holds back a laugh at Raph's worried expression.

She continues. "We also found the oil Donnie told us about, and we bought multiple bottles. You'll have a stack for next time." She then gets one last bottle out that she puts aside.

"That one is for Splinter. To make his fur all soft and shiny," you butt in with an innocent smile. The old man deserves a treat too.

Casey laughs at that and says, "So, there's tree of us and four of you. Who is okay waiting for his turn?"

Silence.

After a solid minute, Leonardo sighs and volunteers to let his brothers enjoy a well deserved spoiling session. Mikey, instead of sitting on a chair like a normal person, choose instead to lay down on the bathroom floor.

"You said it was basically a massage, right? Now it really feels like it!"

"Oh, good idea. I'm this close to getting a pillow and having the nap of my life," Donnie says, putting his fingers together.

"Your fingers are touching."

"I know," he gives you a side smile as he starts to get up, but you quickly bring him back to reality. "But there's gonna be water everywhere?" You sit down next to where he just was and watch as he goes back to where he sat, sending you a disapproving side glance.

"Let a turtle dream, will you?" He lays down on his stomach, puts his head on his arms, and scouts closer to you.

You watch Raph get settled on a chair next to Casey, putting his arms on the backrest as April hands you one of the harder brushes. Leo makes a quick trip to the kitchen and brings back some water, a few snacks, and a copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne.

"Again," you start. "There's gonna be water everywhere. Are you sure bringing a book here is a good idea?"

He gives you a sly smile. "Gotta live up to my name."

What?

"What?"

"You know," Mikey interrupts. "Fearless."

"Oh. Right. Well, don't come crying when you drop it into a puddle then." But you offer him a plastic bag anyway, to hold his book with it in case he wets his hands.

"You sure you're okay waiting?" Casey asks him as he starts pouring water over Raph's back.

"Yeah, don't worry. I have things to keep me busy anyway."

______________________________

It took one swipe of the brush from April for Mikey to start... what was the word? Churring.

A low rumble coming from his throat that had kind of the same function as a cat's purr, Donnie explained. It was an expression of contentment or happiness, that sometimes even happended when they needed reassurance.

Adorable.

"I can't believe you guys can purr and never told me." Raph doesn't even bother opening his eyes when he answers you, "We knew you'd take advantage of that. Didn't want to be babied by the tiniest human we ever met."

Asshole.

You went back and forth with the gruff turtle, always in good spirit though. Conversations flowed, laughter were exchanged, and everyone managed to lighten up. Master Splinter joined the group at some point, and was just glad to spend some time with his family - all of it. He also started to take cared of Leo’s dorsal, to his delight.

You don't exactly know when, but some time after Donnie started to let go some soft churrs as you scrubbed the dirt off of his shell, you stopped listening to the current topic and started to really focus on your task.

Scrapping the dirt hidden in between every crevice, rubbing the largest scales, you were surprised by the look of the bare shell of your nerdy friend. You never really stopped to observe this particular feature the four brothers harbored, not only out of decency, but also because it was always covered. Gear and clothes, backpack and tech, dirt and blood, there was always something hiding the intricate patterns of their shells.

You unconsciously slowed down to really take in what you were seeing, your fascination and curiosity taking over your wish to help.

"I don't know why, but I never expected your shell to be so colorful," you say after wiping away the dirty water from the left side of his back. You didn’t mean to say it at loud, but he doesn't answer you. However, you do get something from Mikey.

"Man, you should see mine! Don helped me create an organic paint so I can paint my shell without hurting myself with a bunch of chemicals, and it looks sooo damn good-"

"Shh!"

"... Did they- Did you just shush me?"

"Shhh!" You whisper yell this time. You then give a side glance toward the sleeping turtle under you.

"Annw. Good luck waking him up."

"Yeah, I'm... not doing that. He needs his sleep," you laugh quietly.

______________________________

It took the three of you around an hour to deep clean their shells. Even Raph was finally letting go and softly churring at the end. Mikey was loud enough to have trouble speaking, and Donnie was still asleep. Splinter was still working meticulously on his son, who, he could tell, had a hard time holding back the content churrs that threatened to spill out.

You get up and strech, feeling your joints crack and already anticipating how sore you’ll be tomorrow. The muscles in your arms were burning, and you couldn’t feel your butt anymore, but it was worth it. You’ve never seen the four mutants so relaxed before.

Remembering the oils, you went toward the towels to dry your friend’s back and give the final touch to, what you’d grow to refer to, your work of art. You gave a few head scratches to Raph, who was dozing off with a lazy smile, and went back to Donatello. You slowly dried his dorsal when you felt him shift under your hands.

"Hey buddy," you speak softly. He whispers a ‘hey’ you can barrely hear.

"I’m almost done. I just have to put the oil, then you can let it dry and go to sleep, okay ? " You open the bottle and get a paintbrush, with which you start coating his shell with a thin layer of oil. You can hear his soft churrs start again.

Casey accidentally dropped the bottle of oil on Raph’s back and was desperatly trying to gather as much as he could. "Shi- Fuck, wait-"

"Here, give me some. Thanks to you, I don’t have to open mine, " April said with a smirk. She helped him clean up before going back to Mikey, who raised himself on his forearms and watched the scene unfold with a tired smile.

It took only around twenty minute to put the oil on their shells and get it almost dried up. Once it was done, you helped Splinter and Casey clean up as April let her dizzy friends hold onto her, guiding them on their way to their room. Once it was all done, you waved Leo good night as Raph ruffled your hair and went to sleep. Mikey gave you a big hug and thanked you for the ‘bonker idea’ and made you promise to do it again soon, which you agreed on.

April was already sleeping in the big armchair next to the couch, Casey in a sort of little nest of blankets and pillows at her feet. As you made your way to the couch – your makeshift bed for the night – Donnie was passed out cold on it already. And, boy, does he takes up a lot of space.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and turned to see Splinter standing next to you. "I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you borrowing his bed for the night. "

"I– are you sure ? "

"He stole yours. He’ll live. " A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he guided you to your friend’s room, offering you a spare blanket and pillow. "Have a good night, Y/N. You know where to find me if you need anything."

”Thank you, Master Splinter.” You can feel your eyelid close on their own, and decide to finally call it a night. You got settled as best you could in the bed, and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

A warm breakfast would await you in the morning.

#tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #i was supposed to make headcanons about them getting their shell scratched #but my brain did this #took me at least 8h #idk if im 100% satisfied but hey #im really excited about posting it ^^#hope you liked it!

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etherealhoneybee777 · 3 years

Text

My first ever fanfiction! (Work in Progress)

Summary:

Mikey has been feeling depressed for weeks, but mean comments about his cooking send him over the edge. Leo comforts Mikey and talks to him about his feelings, and he realizes the impact that words can have on his little brother.

I wrote this fanfiction because I have a history of mental illness, and I project pretty hard onto Mikey. I wanted to see what it would be like if Mikey was depressed, and how his brothers would help him cope. Please excuse the potential bad writing! This is the first short story I’ve written in a long time :) TW for depression.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13941733/1/Small-Words-Tumbling

The fanfiction:

Small Words, Tumbling

Mikey was curled up on his bed, watching small slivers of light stream through the blinds of his window.

Worthless. Screw-up. Good-for-nothing. Waste of space. Everyone would be fine if you were gone.

He had spent the better part of the day in his room, only coming out to train and prepare meals. Although his brothers would often make fun of the disturbing things he would eat—like anchovy jellybean pizza-Mikey knew that they relied on him to cook practically everything, since they were hopeless in the kitchen. Mikey loved cooking because it made him feel valuable to his brothers. Mikey always had the unshakable feeling that he wasn't as good as the rest of his family. Donnie was a tech genius. Leo was the leader. Raph was a badass fighter. And Master Splinter was, well, Master Splinter. The rest of the family had something specific and valuable to contribute, and all Mikey could do was cook. Cooking was Mikey's talent. No one else in his family could do it. Sure, he wasn't the best fighter, but if Mikey didn't cook, no one could eat. Mikey had been feeling deeply depressed and worthless for months now, but the fact that he could cook made him feel valuable to his family. It was the only thing that made him feel valuable anymore, if he was being honest.

That's probably why what happened that morning hurt Mikey so bad.

That morning, Mikey strode into the kitchen confidently. He had the best idea in the world: grape French toast. Grape soda was delicious. French toast was delicious. So why not combine them?

And so Mikey labored in the kitchen, stirring flour, egg yolks, butter, and sugar until it made a smooth mixture. Then, he pulled the grape soda out of the fridge and poured a generous amount into the mixing bowl.

"Yeah!" Mikey screamed to the empty room, "This is gonna be awesome!"

Thirty minutes later, there were four plates piled high with vivid purple French toast. Mikey pulled out a can of whipped cream and a bottle of syrup and placed them on the counter next to the plates.

"Hey guys, it's time to eat!" Mikey bellowed into the layer. Raph, Donnie, and Leo, who had been watching some morning Space Heroes, got up and sluggishly walked to the kitchen.

"Thank God, I'm starving," Raph said, rubbing his plastron. As he walked into the kitchen though, his slight smile turned into a scowl. "Mikey," he growled, looking at the purple pieces of toast, "What the fuck is this?"

"It's grape French toast, dude!" Mikey said as he tried to hand the stacked plate to Raph. Suddenly, Mikey lost grip of the plate, and three pieces of grape French toast went flying towards Raph's lap.

"Seriously, Mikey?" Raph sneered. Then, he picked up a piece of the purple French toast and waved it in the air, "Whatever this is…it's disgusting!" Raph lowered his voice to a hesitant grumble. "I just wish we'd order takeout instead of letting this genius cook. Honestly, I don't know what to do with him sometimes."

Mikey felt hurt blaze through his chest, for reasons he couldn't explain. He was used to being insulted by Raph, even though he was grumpier than usual today, but no one ever insulted Mikey's breakfasts. Sure, Mikey's cheesy jokes were often met with annoyance, and he was often belittled for being unfocused during fights, but no one ever insulted breakfast. Breakfast was Mikey's one sanctuary, the one place where the things he did could be appreciated.

Mikey looked at Donnie and Leo for some reassurance, but he couldn't find any. Leo was silently flicking his pieces of toast into the trashcan and reaching for a granola bar. Donnie was reluctantly sniffing his pieces of toast but refusing to take a bite.

"Maybe you should go back to cooking the regular breakfasts, you know?" Donatello said, not unkindly. Mikey's heart felt like it was about to burst as he watched Donnie scrape his toast into the trashcan and wash his plate.

"I'm sorry, guys," Mikey said, looking at the ground sheepishly, "Eggs and bakies tomorrow, I promise!" he continued with forced cheer.

Raph grumbled as he walked out of the room and sat on the couch to continue watching Space Heroes. Donnie scurried off into his lab. Leo moved to walk out, but not before he caught a glimpse of the hurt in Mikey's bright blue eyes.

"Hey, Mikey," Leo said, lips bent downwards in concern, "Raph is just a little grumpy today."

But the damage had already been done. As Leo turned away, Mikey's eyes started stinging, and all of Mikey's negative thoughts came flooding to the surface. You're not good enough. You're not as good as your brothers. You can't get a single thing right. Screw-up. They would never miss you if you were gone. Mikey ran to his room, making sure that his brothers couldn't see the tears welling in his eyes.

He stayed in his room for most of the day, only coming out to train. When Mikey trained that day, he only spoke to answer questions and say Hai sensei. He didn't see his brothers trade looks of concern with each other. When training was over, Mikey walked briskly back into his room.

"What's wrong with Mikey?" Raph asked, a tone of annoyance veiling his concern.

"He'll probably come out and tell us soon enough," Leo replied, looking anxiously towards Mikey's room.

Mikey sat in his room for hours. It was so impossibly lonely, not being with his brothers, but how could he face them now? He wasn't good enough, and he didn't want to be a burden to them. He had cried his eyes out for an hour, until he felt like he couldn't cry anymore. It was so stupid that he felt this way over an offhand rude comment Raph made about his cooking. But, the truth was that Mikey had been feeling pretty worthless for weeks, and Raph's comment seemed to validate Mikey's feelings. Mikey desperately wished he could be someone else, someone focused and attentive during battle, someone who knew how to talk to people. He wanted people to laugh with him, but they only laughed at him. Like he was some big joke.

Mikey didn't want to be a joke. He wanted to be a leader, a badass, someone with a purpose. But he was just a burden. A screw up. And his brothers were left to pick up the pieces. Honestly, they would be better off if he wasn't around.

Mikey slowly felt himself sinking deeper in his bed as his thoughts consumed him. He almost didn't hear the slow, methodical knock at the door.

"Mikey, can I come in?"

Leo.

Mikey didn't answer. He had started crying again, and besides that, he just really didn't want to talk to Leo. Mikey was surprised when the door squeaked open and golden light filled his room anyway.

"Mikey!" Leo's eyes widened as he saw the tear tracks on Mikey's face. "Oh my god."

Mikey felt Leo place his weight on the bed. He turned to look at Leo's eyes. Cool and calm. But Mikey could tell that beneath his collected exterior, Leo was panicking.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Leo said, a little too gingerly. Leo was used to comforting Mikey after his nightmares when they were young, but, now that they were older, Leo no longer knew the words to make his brother feel better.

Mikey stared at Leo. He felt like there was a huge blank expanse between them, like a black sky with no stars. Mikey desperately wanted to reach out and close the divide, but Leo would never understand how Mikey felt. Leo was a fearless leader. He always knew what to do, and people took him seriously when it counted. Meanwhile, Mikey felt that he was the last person anyone would trust in an intense situation.

Leo furrowed his brow in concern at Mikey's silence. "Talk to me, Mikey. Was it the thing that Raph said this morning? We didn't mean to hurt your feelings by not eating the breakfast you made for us."

Mikey shifted his eyes to the floor. "Uh…it is and isn't about what Raph said this morning," he said finally. "I just…I don't know. I just feel like everyone has their thing, you know? Like you're the leader, and Donatello is the smart one. Raph is super good at fighting and Master Splinter has taught us everything we know. But no one really needs me. And I always screw up our fights, too." Mikey's mouth felt dry now that he had said what he had been feeling for months out loud. Surprised that it came out that fast. But he had wanted to say it, needed to say it.

Leo's bright blue eyes widened in surprise. "Mikey, we do need you." He put a comforting hand on Mikey's shoulder. "And your thing is being Mikey. The team wouldn't be the same without you. And sure, you've messed up our fights sometimes, but you've saved us more times than I can remember," he looked down and continued gravely, "We are all equally valuable in this family."

Mikey refused to look at Leo. Leo's words were comforting, but for some reason, Mikey's throat felt like it was filling with clay. It was only when his vision blurred that he noticed he was crying. The crying quickly evolved into full-on sobbing. It felt like a torrential storm, punctured only by the choked sounds of his shaky breaths.

"Oh god, oh god. Mikey…"

Before Mikey knew it, his head was buried in Leo's chest, and his body was wrapped tightly in strong green arms. Leo rubbed Mikey's head, which he usually only did when Mikey was seriously injured. Mikey should have felt closer to Leo, but he felt the black, starless expanse between them getting wider and wider.

Mikey pulled away, wiping his eyes. "You just wouldn't understand."

Leo's eyes flashed with hurt, but he quickly replaced it with his signature practiced calmness. "Wouldn't understand what?"

"You're the person that everyone needs. You're our leader. If you were gone, nothing would ever be the same. You don't understand being worthless. You don't understand what it's like to be the kind of person that could disappear forever, and no one would ever miss. That's my life, dude," Mikey said, his voice strained from all the crying.

Mikey looked at Leo. And he was surprised to see that the pantomimed calm patience that usually occupied Leo's eyes be replaced by an intense, gripping fear.

"You're not worthless, Mikey. You mean so much to all of us," Leo said. "I love you, little brother" he continued. Mikey could tell that wasn't all that was on his mind.

Leo paused a long time before finally speaking again.

"Mikey…you haven't ever thought of hurting yourself, have you?" Leo's voice was shaky and deeply sad. Even though Mikey had been crying, for some reason Leo sounded sadder than he was.

"No," Mikey answered quickly and with certainty. Truthfully, he had never even considered it, at least, not in any real way.

"Promise?"

"Promise." Mikey gave him a slight smile.

Leo pulled him into a second embrace, squeezing Mikey even harder than he did last time. This time, Mikey didn't pull away. He just stayed there, leaning against Leo's neck, feeling a million times lighter than before. The black expanse between the two brothers had vanished, and he felt closer to Leo than he ever did.

"Mikey…" Leo started, and then paused. Mikey could tell by the strained choke of his words that Leo had started crying.

"Mikey," Leo began again, "If anything ever happened to you, I would miss you for the rest of my life."

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #michelangelo fanfiction

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dumbdotcomm · 4 years

Text

lessons in opposites

(a/n) a commission for my pal @fanfic-inator795! enjoy some raph and donnie bonding !

It’s not that Raph really prefers one brother over the other; he’s been blessed with three great brothers and one fantastic sister and Raphael is grateful every day, as sure as he’s got life and breath in him, he’s so grateful that he’s not alone.

April asks, just for laughs, for a silly documentary on their Lair Games, if Raph had a favorite brother; and off the bat, on instinct, he wants to deny that he does. He loves them all. But then he blurts out Mikey’s name without thinking and then things start to shift, and Raph starts to wonder if he’s a terrible brother for that.

“It’s not a big deal, Raph,” Donnie says, after having seen the clips of how little faith his brothers had in his athleticism, and that one little clip of Raph easily admitting Mikey was his favorite, followed up by Leo, “It’s just a joke…”

But he says it in the way that’s pinched and just a little forced like he does when he takes hard hits and bad falls and just wants to laugh it off because he’s fine.

Raph swallows, nods, presses a smile that feigns belief in Donnie’s words, but he can’t stop glancing over at his brother’s face the whole rest of the time they watch April’s (incredibly edited) documentary film.

His brother keeps his eyes downcast and does that thing where he wrings his hands till they get weirdly slick with this mucusy stuff.

Like when he’s hurt and holding back.

And Raph makes a silent promise, then, that he’ll definitely make it up to his brother.

---

Life has a funny way of just screwing plans and promises over. Raph trains extra with his father on early mornings, learning to think, to focus, to get his fears under control. Donnie locks himself into work by the time training is over, and then they go patrol and watch something on Netflix and then the day is spent and it’s 4am.

So it’s not exactly intentional, the way their paths just don’t cross long enough for Raph to really get the chance to make it up to Donnie. But it’s still shitty and Raph knows there’s something he can do- he has to.

And so he googles a bunch of stuff going on in Manhattan, something that wouldn’t be so obviously intended on compensating for basically saying Don is his least favorite brother. Something Donnie won’t suspect, because if he did-

“If you asking me is a way of ‘reparations’ for the Lair Games documentary, Raph…”

“It’s not-” Raph raises his arms in innocence, and crosses over his plastron, “Turtle’s honor, Donnie. ‘S just the guys...they’ll be all ‘that’s lame’, and you…”

“Wouldn’t think a teddy bear world is lame?” Donnie quirks his perfectly drawn brow and cocks his head a little at Raph.

This is going abysmally, but not quite in a way that wasn’t expected. Raph bites his own tongue from just spilling his intentions heartfeltly- because he can’t scare his brother off right now. He’s gotta play it cool.

“Uhhh, I mean, I-”

“Because you’d be pretty accurate,” Donnie interjects, and despite his voice remaining flat, his lips curve into a ghost of a smile, and Raph’s heart stops pounding so hard, “I was wondering when you would finally ask one of us, ugh a dream come true.”

Raph genuinely cannot tell if Donnie is being sarcastic, though roughly fifteen years of training has at least let him gather, from that weird way his brother’s eyes got super overbright when he was excited, that Donnie really, like super straight up, means it.

“Wow…. well, aight then,” Raph laughs with his words, still not believing how easy it was to simply…ask to spend time with his brother, “Just pick a disguise and we good!”

“Yup, normal disguise. Friday it ‘tis,” Donnie returns the laugh, a touch awkward, before taking his sandwich back to his lab.

And the slightly manic look that Raph catches in his brother, just as he slips from view, makes a lot of little pieces in Raph’s head come together, like a little, horrifying jigsaw puzzle.

Because Raph has been blessed with having Donnie as a brother for fourteen years, he knows a terrible plan forming when he sees one.

-----

Donnie takes pride in his intellect, like not in a super cocky way, he’s just glad he’s been gifted with the ability to make a pea shooter in one afternoon that also has the capability to laser off a bastard’s face.

Still he’s not too prideful to admit that he’s sometimes stupid as hell, in the emotional department, and social department. And while that’s not exactly ideal, Donnie’s got four pretty incredible siblings to lean on for that and so he doesn’t really complain about the impossibility of picking up social cues.

But sometimes, like when his older brother is standing across from him uncomfortably stiff, babbling on about Teddy Bear Town- well sometimes Donnie kinda wishes he did get it.

It’s only until he’s stacking his third layer of his sandwich that Donnie really understands what this is all about. Because Raph’s got his ‘I’m nervously trying to make it up to you’ stink, and then Donnie remembers the documentary, and Raph’s commentary, and the really…awful way Donnie pretended not to feel afterwards.

He doesn’t want Raph to pity invite him, he doesn’t need that. And Donnie’s gonna make sure his brother knows he’s fine- he’s chill and and he’s okay with potentially being Raph’s least favorite.

So he’s supposed to respond to Raph nonchalantly, to just go with Raph and be cool about it but-

“Shelldon, download all the info you can find on Teddy Town…”

-----

“Rise and shine, bud!”

Donnie must’ve drank four extra shots of espresso to be this hype this early, and Raph grips the steering wheel of the Turtle Tank a little harder to try and not smell so nervous. Because there’s no way Donnie could have actually known what Raph’s intentions were, like he had to have just thought that this was a normal thing, and not a ‘I’m so sorry I made you feel less than appreciated, please forgive me’ type of thing.

And Donnie is definitely onto something, even if he’s not onto Raph. He’s just got that glint in his eyes, and Raph feels just a little bit selfish for wanting this to be a normal day- for his brother to just be-

“Uh...thanks for taggin’ along,” Raph doesn’t intentionally cut Donnie off, but his brother’s talking a mile a minute about the history of Teddy Bear Town and Raph knows that he’s only doing it because he feels he has to.

Donnie stops himself, blinks, and puts his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, “It’s no big deal…” he says, in complete contrary to his hyperactive Ted Talk, “Being benched for a sprained ankle was shit, needed to get out anyway…”

He glances over at Raph and looks instantly, incredibly smaller.

Raph thumbs the steering wheel, drumming against it in thought, in a search for words.

He doesn’t have to do this kinda stuff with Mikey, and Leo never shuts up- and Donnie is just…

“Bluetooth, connect to my phone,” Donnie says abruptly, before Raph even gets the chance to think of something to say.

And they stay quiet, listening to music the whole way there.

------

Things feel significantly less awkward in the bigger crowd. Raph is grateful for all the noise and movement that he can shift his focus on, instead of the downcast way Donnie’s been carrying himself since halfway through their ride over here.

And Raph’s always kinda felt his younger brother had a tough time expressing himself- that they were different that way. That Raph carried his heart on his sleeve and that his brother didn’t. But now he’s starting to see that maybe he’s got some things twisted. That he and Donnie are a lot more alike in these things than Raph thought.

“Stay close,” he tells his brother, because as aloof as humans are, they’re still humans, and they don’t always accept what’s different.

Raph remembers telling Donnie that, when they first met April, when Donnie surprisingly was the first to reach out and grab her little hand and compare it to his. And Donnie had looked at him weird, and yeah, well humans aren’t the only ones that don’t understand ‘different’.

The memory hits Raph so suddenly, and almost makes him miss a step.

He turns to find Donnie staring at him, which must mean Donnie noticed, because of course he did.

And Raph stares back because oh. Holy shit.

“Uh…” Donnie glances around awkwardly, “Raph, you’re giving off a weird...vibe right now. You good-”

“Can we talk?” Raph blurts out, and surveys their surroundings, for a place to dip, “Like real quick?”

Donnie looks like he wants to bolt now, which would be ideal in the packed hallway of the mall. But he doesn’t. He just swallows and darts his eyes and nods.

Sure.

Pros to being trained ninjas is the ability to disappear quickly, and they find a quiet, tucked away spot where Raph finally lets himself breathe.

“You’re different,” he says it quickly and rushed and Donnie’s eyes briefly widen in some sort of surprise, but Raph presses on despite his sloppy start, “You….you think different, you think, like, way smarter than us, an’ you make different jokes and express differently an’ that doesn’t. It’s not bad, Donnie.”

His brother keeps his eyes to the ground, kicking gently at nothing, “I don’t care that you said I’m your least favorite, Raph,” he mumbles.

“But you do,” Raph counters back, and keeps his voice leveled, tries not to talk to Donnie too softly or else he’d feel babied, “And that’s normal, and I wish I could say that what I said wasn’t...I dunno, like a…”

“Reflection of how you feel?” Donnie poses, but his words aren’t angry, even if Raph feels his brother’s got full rights to be.

He sighs, deflating a little, “Yeah...yeah, I guess it’s that. But not because I think...it’s because I get really...weirdly insecure man. You’re a freaking genuis and I know you never try an’ make us feel dumb, but- and then we’re both super bad at words and I just… I dunno Dee.”

Raph takes the extra step to go close the distance between him and Donnie, and Donnie stiffens up- at first, for just a couple of seconds, “But I love you, ‘cause you’re an awesome person, and ya not my least favorite. You’re not. And ya don’t gotta pretend you’re cool with everything.”

Donnie pulls back, a dorky smile on his face, which is infinitely better than the sad way he looked earlier, even better than the way he pretended like everything was good and it wasn’t.

“You don’t have to pretend either,” Donnie says, unlocking their eye contact, and staring back at his feet, “I know you were trying to...to make it up to me, but. You could’ve- you didn’t have to invite me.”

“But I wanted to,” Raph says it and means it with everything he’s got, “Really, Donnie. A-and I wanted to do somethin’ that ya wouldn’t think was me just tryna get on your good side, ya know. Somethin’ we could just...do.”

“And I messed up, the whole info-dumping….”

He’s doing it again, he’s making himself smaller and Raph’s not allowing that.

“Okay, half of that stuff, I woulda never known- and ya looked all’a that up just to get to understand me better. I just didn’t want you...t’ think you had to...say all that.”

“And I didn’t want you to think you had to invite me,” Donnie quips back, but ends it with a small smile, “So I guess we’re in the same proverbial boat.”

Raph snorts, “The boat of insecurity…”

And Donnie, stiff and awkward and still full of feeling, takes his turn to hug Raph fully this time, “Screw that boat.”

-----

In the end Donnie makes his bear with a shitton of detail, getting so wrapped up in it that they spend a couple hours there.

And Raph’s bear is simple, not all that complex like his brother’s- but that’s more than okay, actually.

Their differences were more than okay.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #raph #donnie #commissions #fanfic-inator795 #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #tmnt #fic #my writing

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