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allegxdly · 3 years

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ult group(s) tag

tagged by ♡ @icecreamscxups. thanks zai!! i probably spent way too long on this but it was really fun and i enjoyed it! ily <33

ult group: seventeen / nct / clc

who was your first bias? » svt: wonwoo » nct: doyoung / mark » clc: yeeun

who is your bias now? » svt: chan (and soonyoung (& still wonwoo but shh)) » nct: none/all but jeno / renjun / dejun are the closest to the top of this spectrum » clc: sORN but i love them all so much...

what was the first mv you watched by them? » svt: don’t wanna cry bc someone put it in a “kpop choreos” yt vid so i checked it out heh » nct: hmm that would be regular, i think. idk but my first wayv mv was moonwalk 🤩🤩 » clc: hobgoblin! fun fact i also rec’d this song to my sister and she really likes it and i am Proud of myself for that hehe

what’s your favourite mv? » svt: don’t wanna cry or fallin flower but tbh all their mvs are soo pretty like,, getting closer? oh my? you can’t expect me to single out one lol » nct: moonwalk hands down. i also kind of want to say cherry bomb just bc the choreo is yes » clc: me has some very pretty sets and i love them a lot~ helicopter with all the fluorescent lights is also really cool tho! idk cube doesn’t try as hard with them and by now have “stopped supporting the development” of clc or some crap like that 🙄🙄 like if you look at the devil sets lmao. but i’d say me is my favourite!

if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be? » svt: oh sdsjdhj oh no either thanks or our dawn is hotter than day or home or us, again or smile flower or- i- stop this fuckery- i refuse to choose one 😤😤 but i’ll choose them for units~! for the performance unit i choose 247, trauma for hhu, and don’t listen in secret for the vocal dudes :DD » nct: can i at least like choose one for each unit? yeah? either no longer or simon says just because that bridge 100/10. for dream, i want to say dear dream and definitely moonwalk for wayv bc i’m a huge sucker for that song if you can’t tell. as for nct u... there’s like light bulb and the 7th sense and without you and i- i’m- i- without you » clc: yknow, me is just such a big confidence booster. that’s my answer~ i choose me lol

who would you want to see them collab with? » just as a general thing i don’t really pay attention to collabs a whole lot lol... i know they bring more exposure to the groups & stuff or whatever it is and it’s also good to get that variety but idrk for collabs lol

what (mv) concept do you want to see them do? » svt: ohh i think it’d be really cool if they did something with a softer vibe yknow,, like not as cute or bright as things like adore u or oh my but just kind of... soft... lol idk » nct: something less electronic and flashy bc they’ve just done it a lot (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing), and it’d be nice for variety! variety is the spice of life, as they say haha maybe more of a royal concept or smtg ldkfskd that doesn’t really fit their discography tho does it haha » clc: ......just anything pls i’ll be happy with any clc mvs it’s such an uninspired answer but ‘tis the truth, my friend

have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it? » i’m going to answer this one collectively and um tw // gun/shooting/death (?) mention okay, take care of yourselves :) anyway i had a dream ft. seventeen where we were in, like, some sort of weird complex that was something like the pool we used to practice out (before when we could still practice indoors rip) and we were shooting some other ppl for some reason? i don't really know haha but my trigger was Not working so I'm pretty sure i died but it wasn't like a scary dream or anything

if you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do? » svt: soonyoung or chan because i feel like i’d actually be able to, you know, get on with them and not be completely embarrassed the whole time. partly bc i feel like my personally is similar to both of theirs, in some sort of way, or know i could hang out with one and the other could be his plus one like zai suggested you know?? » nct: YANGYANG bc he’s hilarious and chill & all that and he’d be... relatively okay lol he’s a funny dude and i like humour » clc: you know this might come come as a surprise but i’d like to hang out with the girl sorn i may or may not have screamed about her before :)

which member do you think you would get on with best? » svt: chan or vernon i don’t really have an explanation,,, » nct: dfhsndj honestly? i think yang^2 and i would have a jolly time doing dumb shit so~ » clc: i honestly have no idea lol i’m not the best at answering these ones

which member do you think you would argue with? » svt: let’s be real i’d love to throw hands at seungkwan and i definitely would but it’d probably be about smtg vvv petty ;) » nct: i’d fight all of them except taeyong he’s the only one whose judgement i respect. ‘kay that’s not true i respect taeil’s judgement too and kun’s (mostly) but i’d fight any of them. hyuck would pick a fight with me. i’d voluntarily argue w doyoung / renjun / chenle tho lol » clc: nsdlkjs i can see myself fighting eunbin.... she wouldn’t argue with me but i’d argue with her

if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be? » svt: joshua bc he literally had a tumblr acct too okay also he’d be fine and i have a relatively high amount of trust in him haha » nct: taeyong cause half of my shitposts are just me freaking out and he’d respond to that best i feel like yknow? » clc: elkie (SHUTUP) because she’d just laugh at me a little bit and would probably say i’m cute (which isn’t true 🙄🙄) or something

tagging ♡ @channoticedmeuwu @sweetlyjaem @moonbeamsung @neonun-au @starlightsooyoungs @leejunini @cupidluvstarrz @lunatens (luna i’m going to do your tag game now!) another tag game! um i have no idea who likes to do these so if you don’t want me to tag you, pls tell me :)) and ofc you don’t have to do it :D

#tag games #m: zai ⛄#moots ❣️

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canonicallyanxious · 3 years

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Weird ask. But. How do you stop yourself from getting super invested in fandoms? (for example: druck is living rent-free in my mind. It takes up like 70 percent of the space in my head/thoughts, I am sure of it)

considering i am notorious for spiraling intensely over fandoms i am maybe the wrong person to ask this question sdkfnskdjnfsk but i am going to try my best to be helpful anyway bc i do think this is a really good question everyone in fandom should probably consider at one point or another!

so right out the gate i want to say that i don’t think there’s anything wrong with being really invested in fandoms if they’re a source of comfort and joy for you! like i feel like there’s a certain stigma that comes with being a Fan but i firmly believe there is nothing to be ashamed of in what you find yourself most passionate about.

having said that i do think it’s incredibly important to establish healthy boundaries when it comes to engaging with fandom. Bc imo fandom should primarily be about having fun and enjoying the things you like, and if it gets to the point where your fandoms start giving you a lot of overly negative feelings compared to positive feelings [e.g scrolling through the tag starts causing you a lot of anxiety] or it starts to seriously impede other areas of your life [e.g ability to focus on school/work] that’s probably a good sign that you need to take a step back [in my personal experience, ofc; ymmv depending on your own experiences and such!].

So here are some things i do to help establish healthy boundaries with fandom, and again ymmv because different things work for different people but just to give an idea of some of the things i try to do to keep my relationship with fandom healthy:

[cut bc i can never not answer asks with a whole ass essay apparently]

Making sure i have other things to turn to in my free time rather than just fandom stuff. For me right now that includes cooking and playing video games, things I’m not as emotionally invested in but that lets me take a break from scrolling through tumblr or whatever when i need it. like as invested as i am in my fandom interests i am not just my fandoms, who i am as a person is not defined solely as being a Fan of things, and i find it kind of important for me to remember that.

Making friends with people who have diverse interests. I met a lot of my current internet friends through OG Skam fandom and now almost none of us are in all the same fandoms but we’re still very good friends bc we’re able to talk to each other about things not related to fandom, plus since we all engage with fandom in similar ways we can still relate to each other and have similar perspectives on things and such. i have to tell you there’s very little i find more fun than going completely unhinged in the messages of someone who has no fucking clue what i’m talking about to be answered with their unhinged rambles about something i know absolutely nothing about lol mutually supporting each other’s trashpiles is an A+++ activity

Curating my social media spaces to make sure i avoid spaces i know will probably cause me negative feelings. there’s no shame in following/unfollowing/blocking as you need to imo, like it’s good to be exposed to diverse perspectives and opinions but i think it’s also good to know your boundaries and not actively seek out stuff you know is going to piss you off or upset you. as i said i think fandom should primarily be about enjoying yourself, you know? And i’m not going to enjoy myself if i’m constantly reading things that upset me. so i’d rather keep my distance and do my best to do my own thing! for me that’s one thing i really try to get from my relationship with fandom - at the end of the day it should be something i do for me and for my own enjoyment, you know?

like really at the end of the day i just want fandom to be an enjoyable thing for me so i really try to make an effort to engage with fandom in the way that i want and not how i feel like other people would want me to engage w/ fandom. because ultimately i think no matter how you engage with fandom or how invested you are what matters the most is that you feel in control of your own experience and you have the agency/freedom to set your own boundaries that work for you!

Not... sure if any of that is actually helpful or if i’m just talking out of my ass akdfnskdjnfs but let it be known that i tried. if any of my followers have any other thoughts feel free to comment, i’d love to know what people think of this topic!

#answers #i clearly have a lot of thoughts and not many of them are coherent #and really i have no idea if this is actually helpful #but it's what works for me and that's pretty much all i have the authority to speak on lol #Anonymous

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franeridart · 7 years

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hey fran, i really love you & your art!! i fell in love w your bokuroteru tattoo au after reading it through, and then i found your bakushimas and i love them so much! you're actually the reason i found the motivation to start bnha lol and i'm really glad i did, so thx!

Thank you!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!!! For liking my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* and you’re most welcome, I’m super happy you’re liking it!!!!!

Anon said:I love dragons and I love kiri and I love your art so that post is like all three of my favourite things rolled into one, B L E S S.

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:your traditional sketches are so cool!!! i feel like it kinda adds like depth to it or something but like those are so neat what if you lined some

Thanks!! And I’ve actually thought about that, but I’m not much a fan of going back on stuff I already posted... it’s more probably I’ll just go back to the concept and draw more instead of lining those haha

Anon said:FRAN UR TRADITIONAL ART IS SO CUTE OMG ITS SO GOOD (also DRAGONSSSS)

GAH I’M SO DAMN HAPPY YOU GUYS ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OH MY G O D S

Anon said:voltron third season is cOMING SOON AS IN TWO DAYS AAAAAA ARE U EXCITED?

Anon... my pal... my dear friend... I don’t know how to break this to you but... I haven’t even properly watched s2 yet...

Anon said:i started reading bnha bc i wanted to understand your art better, and I gotta say it's a really great series. thanks for inspiring me to read it. finished the manga today and my favs are definitely kirishima, tamaki, toshinori and fatgum. actually I knew kiri would be my fave anyway bc 75% of why i got interested in your bnha drawings was bc of him...he's just?? so good?? that aside your art is incredible and your characterizations of the bakusquad are perfect. you're super cool, keep doing you!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much oh my god ;A; I’m happy you decided to try it, I’m super happy you ended up liking it, and I’m indecently happy you actually do like Kirishima!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs all the love he can get, the pure son ;A;

Anon said:your art is so good wth!! everytime i get the notif that you posted i get so excited!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:The fuck is shitty ab these traditional art pics. They're good, everything u do is good, don't play blind u perfect shit

Tough love! Sometimes this comes around my inbox too haha it’s fine anon, the reason why I rarely draw traditionally is that I never feel like I’m done with a drawing when I do, feel incomplete for however much details I put in because tbh there’s always more I can do on them, so with shitty I mostly meant “incomplete” lol going okay this is finished is something I don’t know how to do with traditional doodles hah

Anon said:yo what happened to your hand bro?

Therapy with my dermatologist that ends up giving me blisters on one of my fingers! It’s nothing serious, but makes arting sorta hard haha

Anon said:You should draw more kiribaku kids it had me really interested and brought out my happy

Should I 👀👀👀 an ugly word, let’s try with could next time shall we - that said, seems like yall really did like something that for me was a one time thing! I might get back on them in the near future, just because that post seems to have blown up way more than I had anticipated haha

Anon said:ahhhhhhh i absolutely love your art. i've been feeling very irritated lately and your kiribaku / kiribakushima art really helps calm me down.

This makes me super happy to know!!!! Oh my gods!!!!!! I hope life has stopped getting on your nerves in the couple days it took me to answer, anon!!!

Anon said:Headcanon: kirishima plays dream daddy

To be honest I don’t know anything about that game aside from “it’s a dating sim” and “it’s gay”, but either way to me it sounds more like something Kaminari would play hahaha

Anon said:Hey Fran! I recently caught up with the BNHA anime thanks to you (still have to get around to the manga) and I loveeee itt so much (pretty much adopted like 20 kids😂) have a lil question tho, in your AU/bnha comic thingy are Bakugo and Midoriya finally like... "okay" friends? Or is Bakugo still acting like he hates the poor boy? Thanks in advance and also absolutely love your art~😍

WEEEEHHHHYYYYYY I’m glad you decided to check it out, anon!!!!! But, I’m sorry I’m gonna need you to be more specific here since I don’t have any “ongoing” AU for that fandom atm - exactly which comic are you referring to?

Anon said:I've been restraining myself from going on Tumblr to once a month max for like a year or so now because it was exams and then I had a new year (MY LAST YEAR) of high school to worry about, and I know me. When I go on Tumblr, I stay on Tumblr for literally an entire day. Or more. And then I accidentally stumbled upon your stuff today and wasted (thoroughly enjoyed) a day of scrolling through your art and asks. I never knew I shipped bakushima so hard until today. Thank you for your beautiful art.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so happy you decided to use your one day for my blog omfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much for this ask, it made me really super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you know the song that is playing when endeavor is fight the winged nomu? ive tried looking for it but I can't seem to find it. thanks if you know it. its fine if you don't. btw you're amazing

Eeep sorry anon this ask is so old omfg I hope you found your answer somewhere else - also because I’m actually the worst person in the world to ask about soundtracks orz so, like, double sorry o

Anon said:A cute kirikamibaku thought to hopefully help cheer you as you wait for your hand to heal again: the three of them going out to a restaurant and Denki trying to subtly convince the other two to order something he wants to try when he can't decide what he wants to eat. Whenever he succeeds, he ends up eating just as much off their plates as his own.

This has actually been cheering me up for days now so thank you !!!!!!! Also because I’ve been thinking about Bakugou giving in but making it super spicy out of spite and honestly that’s the funniest thing hahahaha

Anon said:MATSUHANA🌸🌸🌸🌸

IT’S INDEED A SHIP THAT EXISTS! A GREAT ONE TOO!!

Anon said:I can't stop thinking abt that one anon that sent you "Batsuki Katsuki" and I'm losing my fuckin mind over it oh my god but anyway hello I love ur art I hope you have a good day ( ˘ ³˘)♥

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a great month, anon!!!! *O* and also tbh same I randomly remember it and laugh by myself thank you anon for that gem I’m never getting over it haha

Anon said:I live for your bakukirikami art. I never had an ot3 until these boys, and they're just so so good. Do you think any of them ever gets insecure/jealous about the other two's bond in the relationship? I feel like if anyone would it might be Denki? But I dunno, because the way you portray them I like to think that they all actually just love watching each other be cute and bond and stuff.

Yeah that’s how I see them! You know how, like... when you’re friends with two people and they’re friends with each other and you look at them being silly together and you’re like boy I’m so glad I have both of you in my life and that I can have you both at the same time and that you can be silly and adorable and happy together too - that’s exactly how I portray the bkk, only it’s romantic instead of platonic haha

Anon said:Your art has inspired me to write some BakuKiri / KiriBaku bless!!!! I'm also writing KiriBakuKami as well, thank you so much for the gorgeous art!

THIS IS THE BEST SORT OF ASK!!! THE BEST!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! It's the anon that asked about posting your art online for the first time. Thank you so much for answering my questions! That means a lot to me. I'll definitely take your advice. You made me feel a lot better about posting my stuff online. I'm gonna go ahead and draw the things that make me happy and,, hopefully I'll find people that like it like me!

AAAAHHHHHH I’m happy I could help!!! And I’m sure you will, anon!!!!! I hope you’ll be able to have a great time in whatever community you decide to be part of *O*

Anon said:I was feeling slightly uck but then I was like "you know what would make you feel better" and I just started scrolling through your blog and HONESTLY you are a blessing I feel a lot better and lighter and looking at your blog is literal self care for me now I love you and I hope you have a fantastic day

Sob thank you so much for this ask ;A; aaahhhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy I can help you like that and this made me feel great back when I first read it (and also now that I’m rereading it, honestly!!!) so thank you for making my days better too, anon!!!!

#fran answers #using the random burst of strength to finally get around to answering these asks #the weather is being horrible here my pals!!!!#it's so damn hot!!!!!#yesterday it was SO HOT that the place where i live as a whole decided to turn on the ac #and it was such a huge strain on the electricity lines that they just went B Y E #and i was without electricity (and internet) for FIVE HOURS #this is how horrible it's being here #we have an average of nearly 40°C #im dying #anonymous

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tayegi · 7 years

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im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

#new rules #keehyung #lu answers

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wuqs · 7 years

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so anyway yeah as i posted yesterday i’m going on a tumblr hiatus

not sure how long for yet? but i’ve taken it out of my hotbar and i’m purposefully changing my tumblr links to not go to my dash at all. i won’t be looking at replies or messages or anything here.

if you want to reach me, i’m still on twitter at @vvugs.

below the cut i’m gonna talk a bit about why i decided to stop for a while

so today i had a lot of time to myself. and i do a lot of mondays, but i decided to be pretty introspective today and i thought about a lot

i’ve been really performative lately. and by that i mean i am doing stuff online more for other people than myself. i feel like i’m saying things for an audience and i’m upset when i don’t get a response, more than being pleased at what i created or happy to get something off my chest

tumblr as a whole has been feeling very stressful for me lately, because i feel like there are all these standards i set for myself that i don’t enjoy and that i won’t meet

tumblr is my lazy time no thought click. i just veg out staring at nothing because there’s always a lot to scroll through, and then i get upset that i didn’t use my time wisely

i had a much better day today just spending time with myself and my cat and not caring about anyone else

i also got high today and

i’ve been doing everything very fast lately, and getting stressed at any minor slowdown or speed bump.

weirdly this has bled in a LOT to my enjoyment of video games, which has made me angry because i feel like i’m shitty at games and then i get only stress from doing something i consider to relieve stress

i’ve enjoyed speedruns for a while, but getting so into that zone has made me quantify and qualify my enjoyment of games by the Speed Standard instead of the enjoyment standard. It really hit me today when i was getting PISSED at my inability to play super mario world at the speed of light, because it’s a crazy speedrun game

this transitioned into me trying to play castlevania for the first time bc my friend loaned me his homebrew wii. and i got pissed at the conveyance of the game and raged about it but i remember arin talking about how it was a beautifully well designed game

so i got upset and i spent time today watching a bunch of game design videos like arins and a few others and it got me really thinking about the first playthrough experience and how i’ve started to marr that by 1) going for speedrun strats 2) getting impatient with self discovery and instead using walkthroughs to get through stumbling blocks

and so then i got nostalgic about link to the past and how it’s SUCH a good game and so well designed but the last time i played it i was on a zelda rampage and i crushed it quickly with a guide.

so now i’m trying to savor and appreciate it and re-learn the game. not rely just on my sword and to get items and use them like a new player would. discover enemy weaknesses and exploit them and analyze the enemy setup and solve puzzles intuitively instead of memorizing patterns or doing skips/sequence breaks

i’m also doing the same with super mario world, but with that one trying for the “how is this game well designed?” perspective. like, why is this koopa placed here? oh, to teach you to hit this switch block with a shell instead of jumping to make it easier. and reducing that frustration helped me enjoy my game time SO MUCH today.

i also realized that i should only use speedrun knowledge to help myself when something is tedious on a replay instead of just slow. for instance, i’ve been playing a bit of spyro year of the dragon (another favorite game of all time) and i use glitches to complete the animal friend levels before they’re unlocked just because it’s fun for me to be a completionist on my first play through a level instead of leaving an odd number of gems left and exiting and coming back ten levels later. like it’s good game design and i appreciate it on a first run, but by now i’m just playing for the platforming, the collecting, and the nostalgia, not to go for full on game feel and first impressions.

all of this related back to how in my everyday life i’ve been going too fast. trying to squeeze everything into one day instead of appreciating the subset of things i accomplished one day. i keep forgetting tomorrow still waits to be better, not that tomorrow is a threat of interruption. i have an unhealthy perspective on sleep and work right now, when really they’re needed breaks from my enjoyable pasttimes to make me appreciate those special moments even more.

with time and effort comes truer accomplishments, and i want to get back to those feelings

my minor feelings of compulsion to finish all of one thing before going to another gets really challenged when it comes to games because i naturally get bored of them when i hit a roadblock (capability wise or mental wise)

for instance i was playing donkey kong country 3 and i got to a level with a REALLY hard kiddy kong trick and i HATE water bouncing because it’s not at all easy to input and it’s like a four frame window and it’s really hard to judge and it’s not a common requirement. so i just got PISSED that i couldn’t do it and 100% a level (even though i could easily play the next level)

usually this is where i would shut down and not play ANY more games because i can’t do ONE thing in ONE game.

today i instead let that stop me in DKC 3, but went to mario or zelda instead and switched among those three games

i also watched a lot of game grumps, including the one arin did of just him playing blaster only mega man x

i tried playing mega man x and it’s hard as balls

but anyway that series talked about depression kinda and it really spoke to me and i got a few new perspectives on things i’m dealing with so anyway

today was a really big day for me emotionally and mentally and i’m really proud that sometimes i make progress even without therapy, and maybe it i spend more time with myself without pressure or judgement or stress i can get a little better over time and stop being so hard on myself mentally and emotionally

i love yall bunches and wanna see ur pretty faces on twitter. i figured i’d keep that one since it’s how i get my news and stuff plus i never obsessively scroll through it

and the tmi section

i’ve been masturbating too much lately bc its fun and easy and fast and low dedication but also it’s like... getting less fun and kinda sad feeling and it takes my energy and time and theres no accomplishment

im trying to not do that quite so much for a while and see if i notice any changes in how i feel

anyhoo

i’m scheduling this so i don’t look for likes/replies lol im a mess

love yall!!!!!!!

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herotheshiro · 4 years

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i wanted to post this online somewhere but didn’t know where to put it (not really something to put on any of my IG accounts and if you stay w me for the rest of this post you’ll know why i didn’t put it on twitter) and i almost forgot tumblr existed and no one really uses it (i.e., my sibling doesn’t follow this account. was going to put this on my personal blog which my sibling also doesn’t follow but i feel like this blog is better in the end) so good place to put it and let me release my thoughts. [put it under cut bc it’s pretty long lol]

but basically one of the worst decisions i’ve made in the last half yr is become active on twitter. i made an account back in october to try to order some hipmaic merch from a proxy which ultimately failed and had unexpected personal blowbacks as well... that in itself should have already indicated the dumpster fire that twitter would become for me (from the bad vibes of that failure i mean) but unfortunately in the time before i knew the proxy was going to fail, i got absorbed into fandom twitter. for whatever reason i have this weird thing of wanting to become fandom famous or like fandom well-known, which i think is partially due to me wanting to be like my sibling who sort of became a recognizable name due to their fanworks in some of their fandoms in the past. i feel like i used to kind of have that kind of recognition back during the young deviantart days but since i don’t really produce/publish fanworks anymore, i’ve gotten to liveblogging/livetweeting as my attempts to fame. ik some ppl have succeeded off of that, based on some of the ppl i’ve followed for a number of fandoms in the past few years, so i thought i could do it too ... but alas as y’all know, the internet is a big place and it’s hard to get ppl to care abt your one voice. and ppl noticing you also sometimes happens in unwanted ways, like that whole thing i got stressed over re: a/3 which i think i blogged abt on this blog before ... i mean still not even 100% they were referring to me specifically w that vague tweetinig but i was stupidly anxious over dumb shit like that.

also, as everyone knows, once you really get into a fandom, there is always the absolute mess of “problematic” content/call-outs. sometimes it’s valid critiques of the series content, sometimes it’s over stupid ass petty inter-fan drama. and even if you’re not involved in the drama itself, it’s so tiring to have to witness all the passive aggressive (or sometimes outright aggressive) tweets ... esp in this current global pandemic situation where we’re already getting negative news re: our real lives. i’m writing up this post really in response to me reading through threads of ppl calling out the problematic ways hipmaic handles hip hop/black culture which is definitely valid and basically something i’ve always been aware of even when i first came into the fandom bc non-black iterations of hip hop culture (esp overseas) usually do not hit the mark .... even though i’ve been aware of all this shit, it’s so tiring to read through and then the guilt of still consuming the fandom even w its flaws (which is still something you can do as long as you acknowledge the flaws and problematic aspects. but it also depends on the series i suppose, like imo a/o/t is just shit that prob shouldn’t be consumed lol, which is also funny bc i used to consume it a long time ago but that was like way before the timeskip like when the anime first got released ... i mean this kind of opinion/perspective is fraught w so many asterisks so i’m not going to go into it further but hopefully you get what i mean even if you’re not hearing all of my personal footnotes)... like i don’t think i’m going to give up hipmaic yet, bc i still do enjoy some of its music and i do enjoy seeing character content, but adding twitter to my life was honestly a goddamn mistake. not only for that one case of anxiety re: a/3 but also just me purposely consuming fans’ content that i literally KNOW will piss me off but i still do anyways. it’s tiring to read some of the comments hipmaic fans say, and a few months ago i wanted to interact re: headcanons and stuff but now i’m like you know what. keep your frankly incorrect and inaccurate headcanons to yourself (partly sarcastic but you know when you read a thinkpiece and you respect them for voicing their opinion but it’s also “wrong” at the same time...).

like recently i’ve gotten to thinking to literally just blocking any twitter account that talks abt hyp mic and just restricting my twitter to non-fandom stuff or japanese twitter accounts where i don’t understand what stupid shit they’re saying (if any). and also let’s not get into what a time-suck scrolling through twitter has become for me ... i’m already depressed and completely unmotivated to do work, and twitter is just a major procrastination device to continue wrecking my academic and professional lives and productivity ... i don’t have the app, but i can still access it through safari so of course it’s still a stick in my wheel. i really need to follow what my sibling said and try to rarely go on it and if i do, just stick to my dash and don’t stray too far out (i.e., looking up shit in the search bar). tbh, IG and twitter are both huge time-wasters for me, and i seriously need to consider deleting social media in general or at least for a good chunk of time which is something i wanted to do literally 2 yrs ago but just never did ... ik some of my friends are relatively inactive on social media (they do have it but they just never post or anything) and i really really need to be like that. everything for me (like many ppl at this time i assume) is remote, and i know from past experience that i am VERY BAD at being productive when doing remote working. and having IG/twitter drains is definitely going to make that worse, especially since they’re already major distractors when i AM physically going to school/work. i feel like i’ve tried to cut cold-turkey before, but i usually never keep up the block for long ... it’s also due to a lack of motivation in general (this is a whole other monster of a topic that should be put on my personal blog LMAO) but i need to just try to cut things that i have some control over that could further contribute to my lack of productivity.

tl;dr

fandom twitter truly is a dumpster fire

twitter itself is helping ruin my life (not bc of anything happening on it but just its presence)

i am just purposely consuming bad news and shitty takes and making myself feel worse and i need to stop

#personal #rant #i know this is a fandom/review blog and this post is veering into personal territory ... but i mean i talk abt fandoms here

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otomeduck · 6 years

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Today will be better :) im still feeling kinda messed up and all, but more refreshed compared to yesterday where i was a complete wreck. Bless. i don’t know how to use tumblr lmao and use the “see more” function so ok. if uall are not fond of shitposts about life uall can speedily scroll through this. it’s a compiled list of rants LOL

Although i still feel scared and shitty that my math is so bad, i will try not to let that worry inhibit me from enjoying myself haha. I was such a mess yesterday lolol I couldn’t even express myself. I have 8 drafts on tumblr I couldn’t bring myself to post bc I just couldn’t understand the nonsense I myself was writing lolol. My mood was so shit. But yeah hahah pasted below will be everything I wanted to post yesterday but didn’t have the balls.

I’M SO SORRY I’M ALWAYS RANTING ABT LIFE AND STUFF. Idk why I’m such an angsty fella as well LOL i feel sad that you guys have to follow someone like me hahah idk if it’s even normal to feel so much angst lololol but I’m so thankful that I really have this avenue to be completely myself.

“Aah lolol it’s so hard not to be pissed when u clearly are hahah what the efffff :((((

Im still so angry but ill try to control my temper now 😭😭 everything’s gonna be all right (hopefully)

As if trying to anger me further, my wifi is a wreck and it goes on and off while i play my otoges or am replying to someone on my whatsapp messenger. Thanks lol

😭😭😭 im so mad rn

Ugh omg lol nvm i’ll try to persevere and distract myself rn omg what the wifi has to stop freezing on me omg im so …..

Ok i need to talk and get things off my chest rn ugh i dont get whats wrong with me and thats the worst part lol usually if i know whats affecting me i can try to feel better but ya rn im a mess in the sense nothing i do seems to help and everything annoys me. Im so irritated

Im really angry like wtf i really ugh dont want to stay pissed either so idk ugh help

I blame this on math for being so annoying and impossible to do like i feel super demoralised and fed up i really hate it omg help. Everything is making me triggered and i really really want all of this vexing emotions to stop. Ugh

I dont even know where to start bc everything is pissing me off and i think the largest factor is math so maybe i should stop doing it but i will feel so disappointed in myself

I dont know what to do omg ok i really think i gonna stop doing math since it is causing me so much misery. My family is being annoying as well they need to stop making a fuss so late at night omg i cant handle this omg omg okay i need to get out of this house???

My family is so annoying they r quarrelling i hate it i dont know what to do omg okay idk anymore haha fuck lol everything is irritating idk what to do i want to move out and i think i shall?

Im so angry omg im so angry bc i dont understand why im angry and i cant comprehend my current situation at all. Im so upset bc idk how to feel better. I am pissed. Idk how to get out of this situation but whine. Im so saddened ???

I dont even know whats causing this omg and everything is noisy i need peace omg but omg omg omg im so angry i want to punch someones face. Idk what to do omg help

Help

Ugh i cant i want to hide somewhere until i feel better but idk where

Is there even anywhere

Okay

I want to chill so badly but the anger in my heart is… … ugh… omg stop omg so noisy wow omg stop stop stop ugh why cant it be peaceful????? Im in a bad mood but otoges

Lol i love my wifi it is working just fine can yall sense the sarcasm. My wifi is shit

I decided to try something new so my wifi wont be shit anymore. Blesssssss :/ May i feel less annoyed soon haha ripppppp. Lol wtf my home wifi keep having issues lmao wtf im so angry i cant? Bless my house wifi lol……. I cant with wifi anymore everything is failing me”

LOL as you guys can see, I was feeling like crap yesterday night and yeah, that didn’t feel too good. I’m pretty confident that the root cause was because of several bad news being thrown at me at once. First of all, it didn’t feel good that I was taken as a joke during my interview. Or maybe I can look at it from the perspective that they enjoyed what I said and found me funny but still. And second of all, I don’t appreciate two-faced “friends” in my life. I was so unhappy to find out that I got rejected from joining a school event (there weren’t even any interviews held)

Well there’s that, then third of all my house wifi was the worst and I couldn’t even use tumblr, my messaging app, or play my otoges basically I was really fed up. Fourth of all my parents were in chaos lol they kept bickering over the most useless things and I was really done. Fifth of all and the most major factor would be me not knowing how to do math. I felt so shitty. I had to have multiple friends teach me and I felt so bad.

Looking back, everyone’s gotta start somewhere, right? They don’t become automatically smart. In that case, it’s okay for me to start being dumb at math. i’ll just keep on improving until someday, I’ll be the one teaching someone else.

I’m feeling a bit annoyed at how although it’s a day off school today, we are given work to do at home so it doesn’t make a difference anyway. Ugh… and there is a deadline to it, we have to do our online submissions by 12pm. I’m so fed up, but it’s alright. It’s fine. I’ve said all I wanted to say, I guess. If there’s a reason why I’m not replying to y’all on tumblr message, the reason is that my life is in shambles and im not emotionally stable to make casual talk so im sorry for that K

Sigh I can’t believe I can feel so angsty but okay. Mm. … I don’t want you guys to worry about me bc I’d always like to believe that I can cope with this alone. That I can face all my troubles alone. I don’t want to be a burden to others. I know it’s wrong to be so harsh on oneself, but my unrealistic expectations of myself always get the better of me. I hate feeling this way. I really deserve healing (ironically) just like kenshin lmao. Sigh. I don’t even want to be such a scarred human being.

But it’s okay. It’s alright. I’m sure things will be better today without even batting an eyelash when I say that. Hopefully. may things get more tolerable and brighter

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