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doorsclosingslowly · 5 years

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Your death is a number but I cannot count that high (8/16)

The final preparations before Savage’s would-be rescue.

Zombie Savage AU | 4k | warnings for body horror, past child abuse, murder fantasies, suicidal ideation | also on AO3

Master’s laughter echoes through the Mandalorian palace, it slithers into a tiny dirty cell on Mustafar and sullies the bloody fields of Orsis. It coats the amorphous unknown space where Savage must be held prisoner right now, pulsing, keening, writhing, and it’s all Maul can do to trace and retrace the edges of scratched s-patterns a bored commander must have left, over the course of weeks or years, on this twelve-seat durasteel conference table. It’s all he can do to feel the old lightning, and then fixate instead on the plush of his armchair, furred and bright against the scars on his bare back. Its muted softness under his metal buttocks. Such dissimilar sensations, and yet: that child on Mustafar could never have anticipated either.

That child on Mustafar, the apprentice, the shell kneeling hopeless in his cabin—none of them could have imagined the magnitude of this betrayal. None of them would have dared.

A phantom snake wriggles slowly out of his left heart, and Maul opens his eyes. The holocam blinks its standby mode light. The debrief, at last, is over. He’s told Death Watch—told Kast and Saxon and Jagrub and Ventress in this room, and by broadcast, the two-hundred-seventy most trusted supercommandos staffing their new ships—told them every little detail he knows about Sidious.

About the Sith.

It was the only tactically correct course.

They are committed now to recovering his brother. Death Watch liberated this Separatist dreadnaught from its bored commander, and another one too, and they have each swapped out their beskar and weapons for gear manufactured outside of Mandalore. An unpopular but vital precaution, Kast had insisted, never quite explaining why. The unfamiliar equipment will impede their attack, but Maul hadn’t bothered to argue the point. He’ll have them run drills to adjust to the new weight of their blasters and armor every parsec of their approach, and still, in the end: nothing will make a difference.

They are, after all, going to attack Lord Sidious.

They are going to provoke the most powerful being in the galaxy.

They are committed to their death.

Nobody else seems to accept this yet, despite the two hours Maul has spent patiently explaining the Sith lord’s empyreal power, His intentions and wiles, His provenance and destiny, His secretiveness, His honeyed barbed tongue, His skill with twin ‘sabers and His speed and the bite of His lightning and the way He always countered before Maul had even thought of his next move. His glorious plan for the galaxy, for ancient revenge—or at least the parts of it that He revealed to His throwaway apprentice—everything sprayed out like bright arterial blood. The blockade of Naboo. Iram Radique’s nuclear device, purpose and status unknown. The new ex-Jedi pet. It’s more than Maul ever shared with his brother. More than Savage ever cared to hear, and maybe, if back then he’d…

Maul told Death Watch of the training regimen his Master devised for His sentient weapon, recited the qotsisajak, called down Bane’s words and the acrid ghosts of Malachor. He’s laid out everything, in case it holds a single clue for anyone among them, the merest shred of advantage, from ancient secret philosophies down to the bite of the dinko. Whatever legacy was his to betray, he did.

(He went against everything he was ever raised to be, and yet: perhaps worry should have dogged Lord Sidious’ every step, ever since the moment He beat Maul and left him hopeless, abandoned and irresponsibly alive. The apprentice will reach for any weapon to gain his victory, will tear the Master from His throne with power and wit and perfidy. Perhaps this betrayal is simply a foreign compulsion, born of those dreams every night now when Maul returns to the floor of Sundari palace to attempt to trap magic inside his murdered brother. Lately, those dreams have been filled with determination, hunger, as Savage rises metal-studded and animate and swears, “This weapon will not rot until I tear the monster apart. I’m close now. I’ve nearly—” An hour after waking, the urge to burn everything down usually appears to fade from Maul’s veins, but perhaps…

Perhaps loyalty to the Sith was the last thing Maul had to shed, in order to take his revenge. His victory. Publicity and disclosure, after all, are just another kind of weapon, one that will ripple on long after the blow has been dealt and the dealer, in all likelihood, killed. Where one wretched apprentice foundered, an army may yet succeed. Might be able to save—)

He has made his choice. Everyone in this room is going to die.

Kast and Saxon are in the corner talking in rapid Mando’a, but Maul can still make out a few words. ‘Nite Owls’, ‘two weeks’, ‘reinforcement’. They’re making plans, as if there was still a future for them. It hasn’t sunk in yet.

It probably won’t, until they too have felt the enormity of Sidious’ presence, and by then it will be too late. Maul would laugh at their fervor, their trust—their aphid idiocy—if not for the fact that they’re pausing every few words to look over at him, bare faces slathered with inapposite pity. Besides, he’s counting on lunacy: he only revealed the truth because he knew it wouldn’t change anyone’s mind. Just in case, he delayed the briefing until the plan was announced to the entire army and the decoy ships, already commandeered. Death Watch cannot back out now, not without the appearance of cowardice, even if their minds could grasp the true grandeur of the Sith, and, by contrast, the abjection of the discarded tool they retrieved from Stygeon’s secret prison some months prior. Manipulated, disillusioned, beaten until there was nothing in him but survival: and now, the worst fool of all, Maul will trade away the only thing he has left for a meager sliver of hope.

In Sundari, Maul chose life. He relinquished his hold on magic and his brother’s hand and stood and begged and was dashed against the floor again and again and again. He survived. He knelt and mourned and abhorred his weakness—his failure, and the insuperable pain of it, when those as weak as his brother were never supposed to deserve anything more than death—and he dreamt and learnt that his wallowing in safety was but a second betrayal against his brother. In the Master’s clutches, Savage lives. For months, he has lived. Suffered, while Maul idled. Another chance! Another look! Another gentle touch, another show of gross ineptitude, another grumbled deprecation of the training that made all that Maul is, another promise beyond the ever-dreaming hollow, “She raised a weapon for Her revenge.” Any other promise. Anything at all.

Maul would barter everything in exchange.

He will.

He shall not allow himself the craven comfort of denying it. In his pounding phantomsnake-infested hearts he knows: not even this total betrayal of the Sith will give them the power to free his brother. They are all going to die.

Maybe they won’t. There is little chance that after weeks in the Master’s custody, Savage is still anything approaching sentient, despite what Ventress may have claimed, despite the presence Maul feels every dream, the connection. Hope is a foolish pursuit. Whether they extract a corpse or his brother, though, they’re going to locate Savage today, they’re going to fly straight towards him in their stolen ships, and they’ll carry him out. They’ll leave, as quickly as they can. Maybe Lord Sidious won’t even be there. He’d left that child in its Mustafar cell for months on end. He did not even bother to torture Maul on Stygeon for more than a few hours Himself, preferring to pass on the duty, and Savage was weak even before Sidious touched him. Why watch a failed apprentice’s failed apprentice? A still-breathing corpse? Maybe no-one will have to face the Sith lord. Maybe an army will succeed where a lone fighter… Maybe—No. Enough. Maul always believed his Master’s training stripped him of the last dregs of cowardice, but apparently, he was wrong: he’s bargaining. He’s sheltering in false comforts. If he is going to lead them all to their deaths, the least he can do is admit the inevitable.

The least he can do is stand up.

Death Watch must be getting impatient. As soon as Maul forces himself to raise his eyes—turning away from the coddling indifference of the holocam—Jagrub starts talking. “Mand’Alor? Vercop’ashnar verborir—” and then she lets out a jumble of other words, even more unfamiliar, before she cuts herself off.

She’s not one of those, usually, who address him directly. Maul understands Death Watch’s tendency to converse in Mando’a—if he is to avoid appearing an outsider and risking another schism, replying in kind is indispensable—but his early training held no space for anything that would not advance the revenge of the Sith, let alone the languages of minor regional hegemons, and neither Kast nor him prioritized resuming the lessons interrupted when Sidious attacked Sundari. Jagrub’s brow bunches up with the effort of simplifying her words to a level he can understand. “We should… Permission to send… scouts to find more of Rook’morut'yc?” A frustrated grunt. “No, what will he… Weapons? Goore.”

Kast glances at Jagrub, and then at Ventress. She must decide the suggestion is urgent, because she explains in Common, “Jagrub is talking of slugthrowers. Impossible to deflect with a lightsaber. Mandalore has not fought a war against the Jedi in centuries, but they were more effective than blasters then, and enough should remain as heirlooms or in museums to furnish our army. A delay of a few days to retrieve them, if you believe that Savage will survive that long. Else, we’ll make do with the five we currently have.”

Jagrub says something else.

“Shut up. And yes, we should fetch Kuma and T’bas from Zanbar, they’ll like a challenge. There must be some records of electricity-resistant clothing somewhere. Or we could jury-rig a lightning arrestor to carry around. Lightsabers, force lightning… no need to counter his eloquence, as we know him for the demagolka he is.” Kast is grinning, or at least showing her teeth. “Regarding secrecy, we’re using that mysterious connection to locate Savage. Is there anything else we’re missing, ‘Alor?”

Fools. Fools all and sundry, and Maul will die with them. “Millennia of Sith planning have culminated in this one Man, to raze the Jedi temple and usher in our—their victory.” He pauses, but it does not appear to have penetrated at all. It never impressed Savage, either. “Lord Sidious will asphyxiate us with His mind. Nothing whatsoever will make this a fight of equals.”

“Poison gas.”

Maul veers around at the sound of her voice, and so does everyone else: Ventress hasn’t said a word in days. She’s still leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed and uncomfortable, but now, she’s also fully engaged with the discussion.

“It’s simple. Poison gas. If we can’t get close to the fucker without getting choked, we’ll go the sneaky route. Don’t look at me like that. I have forty-seven reasons of my own to want him fucking obliterated.”

“An honorable fight for an honorable enemy,” Saxon answers. “Poison for the Republic wasp. I like it.”

Kast does, too. For a while the two Mandalorians bounce suggestions off each other, for different airborne soporifics and sedatives and what’s possible to whip up in a reasonable timeframe and the relative utility of commandos ingesting antidotes versus air filters versus building up immunity, while Maul ignores any invitation to contribute. While he systematically throttles the sprouting futile hopes that this plan might actually work. Ventress is looking fascinated and dismayed and bored by turns, and Jagrub comms two dozen strangers.

Finally, Kast dismisses Saxon—the smirk Ventress levels at Maul is vexing, but he does not bother puzzling it out—and then she faces him directly. Her eyes are a little too sharp and kind when she asks, “Lord Maul? Should we use her Sith magic to locate Savage now, or would you prefer a break?”

“It’s not Sith magic,” Ventress says.

Something has been pulsing inside Maul’s throat. Maybe the absent worms are breeding, or another thing has moved into the vacuum where secrets used to live. Maybe it’s the hope, still undead. The anticipation. Maybe it’s terror. Lord Sidious will never be easier to face, even if Maul delayed it for a thousand years. Already, his cowardice has kept Savage in pain for months. He answers, “Now.”

Kast nods, and Jagrub leaves too. The door closes.

Ventress laughs.

Let her think what she will about Kast’s decision to stay by his side. Let her parse it as caution, fear, a confession of frailty on his part: Asajj Ventress is the least of his concerns. Sundari and Dathomir gnawed Maul down to pale bones. He knows his place. His face. His failures. It is a weakness, if minor, that Maul has learnt so quickly to acquiesce to the peculiar Death Watch custom of the buddy system. (“It’s easy to settle every argument with a fight to the death,” Saxon had answered Savage’s question at the victory feast, glancing back over to where Kast was crushing the knuckles of Jagrub’s hand in what could have been a fist. “Tempting, too. Klows there has always been a dick. But we need to watch our numbers if we want to keep Mandalore, and that’s why she needs a buddy to hold her back when murder is overkill. We all do.”)

It’s an admission that they still need her alive for now. An acknowledgement: of how easily he could kill her. Even a failed Sith will eclipse her thousandfold. Let her laugh.

Let her believe that when in a minute he bows his head and bids her enter and work her bastardized Sith rites to find his brother, it is a reenactment of the same ritual she and hers forced upon Savage and his family and even those impostor brothers that Death Watch have been rounding up. Let her gloat, as if he does not plan—in the impossible future after he faces his Master—as if he does not plan as soon as they return to hold her head still and present her neck.

As if he will not gift his brother the liberty of cutting her throat.

Savage flinched hard and often in those early weeks, Maul remembers, whether from his own intrinsic ungainliness or a focused fear of misstep, of lashing out, of punishment, and so it took longer than it should have, to taste the difference in terror on the day his apprentice knelt and declared he had a murder to confess. When he warned that Maul should be prepared for Savage to attack him at any moment: that his body was a tool already once used to kill someone he loved, Maul took it as a hubristic boast of strength and the emotion as a weakness to exploit for loyalty. He did not yet appreciate what it must have taken, to make anyone this afraid of his own hands.

How it would feel, to call someone’s weapon your brother.

That he would one day look at the person who wielded Savage.

That he would keep looking.

That he would allow her to breathe, walk, talk; that he would plan to let her touch his mind; that he would smell approaching vengeance and he would force himself to know its present uselessness. Its impotence. Ventress will die soon, by the Master’s hand or by Savage’s, but nothing will ever put anything back to rights even in that impossible future where Death Watch’s fatuous plan actually succeeds. Maul remembers how weapons are forged. He’s never seen one un-created.

(“The Mother has raised me as Her weapon,” Savage promises, every dream, every night. There is no reason to choke him silent with magic anymore, but Maul does.)

Let Ventress enjoy her empty triumph. Her last few worthless days. Maul looks down to see his own hand trembling, impatient, and Kast in the corner of his eyes moves closer though she must know she is superfluous. He shakes his head. The urge stays.

“The bond between apprentice and Master is rare. Multiple strong links centered on a person, even rarer,” he intones, pacing, instead of giving in. A stall, perhaps, but an explanation of the hidden intricacies of the force will do Kast good. The silent dam has been breached, and there is a perverse sort of pleasure now, even, in freely passing on the knowledge Maul pieced together on his knees with no aid from the Man who called himself Master: and to a witch and a mere force-null. “But the connection between people—beings—matter, isn’t. Even now, the living force flows between me and you, invisibly and frail for your weakness but ever-present, between me and her and her and you and the ship and the blaster and everything that surrounds us. We are not separate. The force feasts upon us all, and we consume it in turn. The weak remain ignorant: buoyed and tossed in a sea of all our making; a rally cheering around them, stoking their enthusiasm. The Sith understand it. Manipulate it. Wield it. I can make this ship groan. I can force a room of men to stew in terror and bloodlust…”

He allows himself to forget the self-control necessary for effective mission planning and execution. There is no stale meeting-room air entering his trachea, no difference between the air and his lungs, no plush armchair or indifferent holocam, and then he returns to the amorphous space where Savage is, or his body, writhing in a pile of spectral worms and lightning. Sidious in all his eternal glory looms over him. Sidious will die for taking the only person that has ever been Maul’s, for stealing his future, for pretending to give meaning to Maul’s pain when He always wanted not an apprentice but a weapon. Sidious will—Sidious looms, and Maul hits the floor and the ceiling and the floor again, unmoored because he abandoned the hand he could have clung to, in a vain instinct for survival, the dead hand he tried to keep with magic he did not know, as useless a plea to the force as asking his Master for mercy, and Sidious laughs. Maul and his army sidle into the Master’s prison, and Sidious—

A gasp, and he looks up. Kast’s knees are attempting to buckle, but she does not retreat: instead, she stares at Maul for the first time not with gratitude or exasperation or rankling worry, but awe. It fades into determination. Perhaps, she can be taught yet to fear the Sith.

“I can feast on their response. I can survive on the miasma of my own hatred alone. I can… choose not to connect at all.”

“Is there a point to this or are you just bragging?” Ventress sneers.

Maul breathes until the frenzied mirage dissipates. “A powerful Sith may reinforce that natural connection in the living force, until the exchange between him and his apprentice is anchored, amplified, incessant. He can push towards the apprentice whatever he wishes and draw out what he requires. That is the bond between apprentice and Master. The Jedi use a pallid imitation to guide their padawans. The Nightsisters of Dathomir bind their victims with it, and pretend that it is procreation or destiny, when all the living force is is power the strong exert over the weak. With a single connection, I might contact my apprentice—my brother—and I may fail, but since—” a foul taste— “since Ventress is tied to him as well, she believes she can use our shared connection to triangulate his whereabouts.”

“Essentially,” Ventress says. “If long-winded, overly simplistic and culturally chauvinist. These bonds, and my Sisters, are far more ancient than the Sith. Stop stalling and sit down, will you?”

He returns to the armchair, and Ventress follows. Her spindling finger creeps towards his forehead.

“If this was a trick, you are dead,” Maul whispers. Somewhere behind his back, he can feel Kast draw a weapon.

Ventress laughs again. Up close, the sound is just as grating, but slightly more brittle. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she says. “I have no interest in you, failed Sith. I would sever my connection to Savage Opress yesterday if I could. As soon as possible, I will. Do you want to find him or not?”

It doesn’t feel the way Maul expected, in his heart of hearts. No will hollows him out, as Savage once mumbled, and his hands are his own still. His palms stay poised atop his knees, expectant, lazy. They don’t want to move, and there is no reason to: they are weighed down with rage and bottomless grief. He is alone. Savage is gone, or someone else is—someones, the only people who ever accepted him, who saw him as more than a tool or an annoyance, slaughtered without reason, and now he is trapped, surrounded by those who called down their death and who would see him murdered too, who threatened as much, and he wants to kill them. He can’t. He must stay. He must come even closer, mess with dangerous magicks no-one still alive knows anything about—oh Sisters, why didn’t you tell me what using Opress would mean—must allow this connection to trace and sever the bond that is drowning him. He will do whatever it takes. He will live. There is no-one else left. Maul’s feelings grow and twist and slowly shade alien, until he could almost redraw the boundaries to Ventress’ mind—don’t you dare mess this up now—and then he opens their eyes in a cramped dark space.

They keel over and retch.

They bring up nothing but spit, despite the rancid air and the dull burning ache in their torso. They—he—the body reaches up to inspect the pulsing gashes roughly where a zabrak’s hearts would be, but something clatters when they attempt to touch their wounds, and the hand will not move. Shackles? They yank and tear, then retch again. Something slithered out of their chest cavity. Something lives inside them. They crouch and gasp, and gradually they remember: they must be careful not to catch their metal arm in any of the debris patching up their ruined skin. They already grew used to this once. They’re accustomed to the smell, the pain, this room; have learnt it over years or days or months in this sunsetless hollow. There is no decay, they know, in this space devoid of mold and insects, no relief, no rebirth. No life without brothers. No rest. No vengeance without direction; no death without the monster’s blood. Not yet. They have accepted their purpose. They are Her last weapon. They should not have flinched. Something is wrong. Something new is wrong.

Something… They remember. They’re here to find—my brother—the nightbrother—Savage Opress.

They look around.

The floor is nondescript, covered in bowls of rotten food. The ceiling is low, gleaming durasteel. A spaceship, most likely. A cell, but no manacles. There’s no sign of Sidious or any of his goons. There must be another clue, a location, a direction… They close their eyes and reach out. There’s life nearby. There’s—

They remember their purpose. They know where they are headed; they are close, so close now, to finding the location of Her enemy. They just need to keep moving for a little longer. Soon, the Mother will see Her enemy burn.

Soon, Her weapon at last be allowed to—

“Lord Maul!”

Kast is bent over them, shaking their shoulders frantically. They flinch back into a soft plush headrest and raise their—raises his hands to push her away. Maul stares at his fingers. Flesh and blood, the way they always have been.

Ventress is sprawled at his feet. She’s sallow in the bright electric light, shivering, and she rasps out, “He’s in orbit over Entralla. We need to move.”

#darth maul #savage opress #asajj ventress #rook kast #Zombie Savage AU #dimtraces makes things

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karingudino · 3 years

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A beginner’s guide to permaculture gardening

A philosophy of gardening. Gardening and philosophy. Both method it appears unusual to the uninitiated. Nonetheless, one factor permaculture is not, to many individuals’s shock, is a cult. So what precisely is it?

Permaculture is a design system which sprang up through the Nineteen Seventies oil disaster, a response to meals insecurity and the need for self-reliance. Combining angle and sensible utility, it encompasses something from recycling, reusing and regenerating, to easily observing.

When utilized to gardening it means that not solely can we develop meals virtually wherever – from fruit shrubs in patio pots to vines on fences – however we will get greater yields with much less effort just by mimicking nature.

After I began to view each area of interest as a possible food-growing zone, for me the world became one large gingerbread home.

In distinction to many fashionable agricultural strategies, a pure rising system sustains a steady cycle, with lifeless crops changing into mulch for brand new progress. Permaculture gardening seeks to recreate this cycle, turning meals waste into worthwhile compost and changing slug pellets and weedkillers with pure predators and pure competitors. In accordance with co-founder Invoice Mollison, it’s about working with nature, not in opposition to it.

Survey your plot

Permaculture is not prescriptive and strategies needs to be utilized to every backyard or balcony individually. Step one, subsequently, is remark. Though frequent sense, this side particularly stunned me while attending a permaculture course in North London one chilly February weekend.

The group was requested to face in a forest backyard (a permaculture design idea, during which a backyard is established to imitate a younger forest ecosystem) and easily observe a small space for quarter-hour. Inventory nonetheless in entrance of an apple tree within the bitter, fading gentle, taking a look at lichen patterns and questioning the place the solar rose and set, I began to see the backyard otherwise.

I realised that to keep away from winding up with quite a lot of shrivelled crops, it is important to learn the way a lot gentle, wind, and water a plot receives earlier than leaping in with a trowel and a packet of seeds. Ideally this part ought to span a yr, to look at adjustments via the seasons.

In any out of doors house microclimates exist, and the place a south-facing wall will shield delicate crops, a windy balcony could also be higher suited to fruit shrubs comparable to gooseberry and damson, offering a pure, edible windbreak.

If you’re eager to start out rising earlier than your yr is up, attempt a couple of issues out on a small house first. This can be a good time to limber up inexperienced fingers and set up expertise, some compost and keep away from biting off greater than you may chew. Green manure is great preparation for future veggies.

Range

A key side of permaculture backyard design is rising a various vary of meals with mutually helpful relationships. Marigolds, for instance, deter eel worms from close by tomatoes, whereas lovage and candy cicely entice aphids’ pure predators.

Plants are rigorously chosen, usually native varieties, solely a fraction of which we at present eat. These most suited to native situations require much less tending – ticking one other key permaculture field: minimal enter for max achieve. A mix of annuals and perennials could be aesthetically pleasing whereas offering food throughout the year.

Zoning

When planning your plot, suppose: which crops will I go to essentially the most? Which of them would require essentially the most tending? These will reside within the ‘zone’ closest to the home, zone one (or indoors, zone zero). This implies ripe meals will likely be picked in time, and delicate crops will not shrivel away unnoticed in the back of the backyard.

If zone one is the ‘busiest’, zone 4 accommodates the crops requiring the least consideration, additional away. Historically zone 5 will likely be a wild, undisturbed haven for pure predators and wildlife. This will exist even in a small plot.

Mulch!

As permaculture is a low-impact mannequin, it encompasses a no-dig philosophy. Sounding extra like a dream come true than a sensible technique, it’s attainable to vary what grows in an area with out turning over the soil. The important thing phrase right here is mulch, and I used to be enlightened on the advantages throughout my permaculture course.

This technique is greatest for potatoes, cabbages and marrows. After pulling down any weeds, a layer of cardboard, newspapers or natural-fibre carpets will kill weeds by blocking out their gentle. Some mulch or compost on high offers vitamins for the crops and by piercing the cardboard layer you assist new roots attain the soil. Then add compost or topsoil earlier than sprinkling straw, or grass clippings and leaves (usually in surplus in native councils).

Forest backyard

In nature, not solely does selection exist on a two dimensional airplane, however every household of crops will develop to completely different heights. Referred to as ‘stacking’, a permaculture forest backyard sees tall fruiting timber above a layer of dwarf varieties and nut bushes, which in flip shelter fruiting shrubs, with perennial herbs and greens, and eventually roots underground. By overlaying the soil with crops, it is protected against water loss and erosion.

Pests!

UK households use plenty of pesticides for each invertebrate going. In a pure ecosystem predators will perform this job with out destructive environmental affect – for instance frogs do the identical job as slug repellent with out the shrivelled corpses or having to maintain the youngsters away. Final yr after visiting a Froglife stall I stuffed a planter in my backyard with water and a frog moved into everlasting residence inside three weeks. It would not should be Lake Baikal, and will present a lifelong residence on your personal pure slug patrol.

The trendy Transition Town motion emerged from the permaculture mannequin, as a response to considerations over peak oil. With some thought it’s attainable to develop meals in a sustainable method utilizing sensible expertise, whereas benefiting ourselves, our communities and wildlife. That may be a satisfying thought if you’re tucking into your personal home-grown dinner.

Additional data: Web sites:

Books:

Edible Forest Gardens: Half 1 and Half 2 by Dave Jacke with Eric Toensmeier, Chelsea Inexperienced Publishing, 2005

Permaculture in a Nutshell by Patrick Whitefield, Everlasting Publications, 2008

Permaculture: A Newbie’s Information by Graham Burnett, Spiralseed, 2009

Laura Laker is a contract journalist

For moral and sustainable suppliers of gardening items and companies try the Ecologist Inexperienced Listing here

Source link

source https://fikiss.net/a-beginners-guide-to-permaculture-gardening/ A beginner’s guide to permaculture gardening published first on https://fikiss.net/ from Karin Gudino https://karingudino.blogspot.com/2020/12/a-beginners-guide-to-permaculture.html

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uwucontextualstudiesblog · 4 years

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BUG HOTEL- UPCYCLING AND ENVIRONMENT

POLLINATORS

In addition, I decided to make something out of old scaffolding. My mum had them in the garden as a shelving unit with ornaments and spare plant pots in. Although not wasted, I felt it could be better utilized to employ the positive encouragement of up-cycling.

After careful consideration it was decided to revamp them into a multi-leveled bug hut. Painting them in wood paint to liven them up and also make them attractive to insects who are attracted to bright colours. The paint is also non-toxic so won’t harm them.

Once the paint has dried, the construction followed by filling each section with different natural materials. Such as: twigs, pinecones moss and bark. The remainder were filled with old spare bricks, canes and plant pots.

Providing shelter and safety to a variety of inhabitants and encourage a thriving habitat.

The RSPB website advocates the use of the following items :]

dead wood and loose bark for creepy crawlies like beetles, centipedes, spiders and woodlice

holes and small tubes (not plastic) for solitary bees made out of bamboo, reeds and drilled logs

larger holes with stones and tiles, which provide the cool, damp conditions frogs and toads like – if you put it in the centre you’ll give them a frost-free place to spend the winter (they’ll help eat slugs)

dry leaves, sticks or straw for ladybirds (they eat aphids) and other beetles and bugs

corrugated cardboard for lacewings (their larvae eat aphids, too)

dry leaves which mimic a natural forest floor

https://www.rspb.org.uk/get-involved/activities/give-nature-a-home-in-your-garden/garden-activities/build-a-bug-hotel/

Finally, adding a roof to allow them to stay dry. This bug hotel was one of the first creations in the garden. Over the last few weeks I have observed more wildlife in the garden. Particularly in the sections with canes, which have housed loads of solitary bees who have began to build nests. In the pinecone area with tiles loads of spiders and centipedes are present.

This creation is mutually beneficial it gives the children a learning opportunity to explore wildlife closely and safely also gives a haven to the wildlife which may otherwise have no habitat to thrive. During the rainy periods it has given shelter to the bees that have housed in the tubes.

The above elements create an emphasis on the creative freedom that up-cycling allows you. Which could potentially inspire you to put your own creative personality in perhaps your own garden; adding a splash of color to the landscape.

Both the tyre planters and the bug hotel are built for the purpose of encouraging wildlife, insects and ultimately pollinators. The emphasis on the importance of pollinators is crucial for our survival.

EVIDENCE - RHS BOOK poliantors quotes.

The importance of conserving these environments is previlant now more than ever and is reciprocally favorable to everyone. Supporting the philosophy further regarding participation and community and expanding further into our environment. Putting emphasis on protection and maintenance of habitats which are becoming endangered and are also vital for our own survival.

Encouraging children to create their own ‘minibeast hotels’ also adds an additional element of pride. Allowing them to visually seeing the fruits of their labour.

BEES BUTTERFLIES MOTHS AND POLLINATORS.

And solitary bees are also …

BUG HOTEL/ BEES AND POLINATORS

my bug hut

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“insect pollinators including bees and moths are in decline but you can help them by creating an attractive habitat for them”

“We rely on pollinators for the majority of our food crops, yet pollinating insect pollinators are in trouble. You can help to boost their falling numbers by making your garden a little patch of pollinator paradise that meets their needs. Attract pollinators with pollen-baring, nectar rich flowers that bloom with different times of year, and night scened plants and larval food plants for buttlerfly and moth caterpillars and provide plenty of places for pollinators to shelter”.

“ Studies show that pollinators are disappearing fast, with up to 50% of all bee species threatened in some European countries due to loss of habitat, changing climate, spread of pests, disease and pesticides being contributing factors”.

3 species of bumble bee are now extinct in the UK.

In the Uk alone, more than half the butterfly and moth species have declines over the past 50 years.

Moths ( elephant hawk) like red companion and they are important pollinators.

195

Plants like strawberry and beans need pollinating.

Crutiial role for pollinators honey bee pollinates 70% of around 100 crop species that feed 90% of the world.

Field beans and clover which feed live stock for meat and milk.

If pollinators disappeared, so would many of the plants that rely on them exclusively for pollination

Urban gardens in Europe and North America can support higher density of bumble bees and solitary bees than farm land,

You can help pollinators by using plants to attract these important insects to your garden

Most pollinators are bees, flies, wasps , beetles and butterflies and moths.

They pollinate the edibles in our gardens

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how to help pollinators

an ohs study of insects visiting garden plants in the UK found that the best way to grow a mixtuer of native, northern and southern hemisphere plants.

go for variety - pollinators are attracted to different shapes of flowers, so it makes sense to choose a range of sizes and shapes. Scientists are still researching why certain plants are more attractive to insects.

Hoverflies prefer flat ion flowers e.g angelica

Plants with tubular flowers, such as foxgloves are more likely to be visited by insects with a long proboscis eg. butterflies, moths and some bumble bees.

Vegetable gardens attract pollinators with the flowers of borage, chives mint, rosemary and sage.

Place in the sun-

pollinators, especially butterflies prefer flowers in sunny spots. This is partly because sunshine can affect nectar production and also perhaps because insects don’t need to expend as much in warm energy conditions.

Try to provide nectar all year round.

February to October when pollinators are more active.

THEY ADVISE Multi story bug hotel. For insects made using natural materials will provide shelter for all types of mini beasts.

197- pollinators and other invertebrates can overwinter in. Solitary bees like to nest in hollow plant stems or bamboo canes. 1.5-2 cm in diameter and 10-20cm long.

avoid pesticides.

invisible colors - it pays to include a range of hues in your garden beaucse of certain colurs, while pleasing to us, are less appealing to some pollinators.

Studies have found that red for instance, is generally less attractive to insects.

Bees- and insects with good vision - see better in the value spectrum and beyond into the UV range.

Many flowers have UV markings on them , which are invisible to humans but appear differently to insects.

Scientists think these markings act like landing strips, guiding pollinators to nectar and pollen.

!98 Wild flower meadow

Meadows full of different kinds of flowers and grasses are home to, and feeding grounds for many kinds of insects. These insects, in turn, provide food for birds and small mammals.

They have disappeared from the country side.

You can help revive these habitats by planting a mini meadow in your own green space.

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popgoesthenowmh · 4 years

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Philosophy is something I’ve always really resonated with. It has a definition but like all things, it can mean something completely different to someone else’s definition. Truth is subjective, right? It’s always fascinated me by how grand humans can ponder and what is triggered in your own brain by someone else’s seemingly fleeting thought. Or how people can change their entire lifestyle over it. It can have a huge impact or just a little baby one. It makes it all individual by affecting everyone in their own unique way.

I can entertain myself in my own head for ages, debating and conjuring ethical dilemmas or even thinking about the possibilities of certain actions against others. Some might call it overthinking (which it is) but when I’m in the mood, I love it. That’s why I have a whole notebook for it. This week’s class gave me a recap on all the classic philosophers but I want to use this blog to share some of my own beliefs:

1. If you think making someone else feel special is too much effort or it will hurt your pride, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities because we are all here for each other, not ourselves.

2. Like a rose infested with aphids, beauty will lure you in. But it disappears in less than a second so do be careful not to touch it on impulse.

3. If you’re not asking questions, you’re as good as blind.

4. It’s where you come from.

5. Religion is NOT a justification.

6. Gossip is social currency and it’s better to be poor than hurt another on your path to becoming rich.

7. You cannot read the mind of someone who has no thoughts.

8. Memories are the greatest gift. The highest compliment you can tell someone is, “I’m going to think of this moment for the rest of my life.”

9. A day feeling happy is not a day wasted. No matter if it’s watching movies all day & being unproductive or if it’s going out & seeing the world. Happiness is not defined by a single action.

10. Diagnosing yourself with madness is quite helpful for the sake of comparison.

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imthepunchlord · 7 years

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Kwami headcanons

Tikki

One of the more affectionate kwami, likes to hang close to holders, lives off cuddles and hugs.

Likes to sleep on her holders but if they’re a fighter in their sleep, will settle on a pillow next to their head till they settle down.

Don’t ask her for fashion advice, she’ll think everything looks good. It’s very rare that she thinks something looks bad.

She can barely tolerate the smell of cheese.

Is one of the worst at hiding. Very thoughtless of her surroundings.

Is sort of a morning kwami, though it takes a few minutes for her to get going.

Is a floating mini cook book.

If someone is baking, she is there to oversee it and watch.

If she could, she would feed everyone.

Not a big tv fan but she does like watching baking shows every now and then.

A solid gardening helper, though it’s not a big passion of hers (that falls more to baking); she is the go to kwami for aphid troubles.

Enjoys the seasons of spring and summer most. Fall she’s fond of, but can do with the coming cold.

Tikki doesn’t like winter.

Of the kwamis, she’s an exaggerated mom.

Of all kwamis, Plagg is the one she’s closest with, but he does drive her crazy time to time. A lot actually.

Is one of the scariest kwamis to piss off.

Don’t do it. Just don’t. Ever.

Plagg

Isn’t really known for his affection, it’s very rare to see an affectionate Plagg. Most affection that anyone will see if getting offered cheese and being called “Kid”. “Kitten” he saves for very little kids or his holders kids.

He likes to sleep with his holders, though only after they fall asleep. You never quite know where he’s going to sleep.

He is a bit more active at night.

Likes being a cat.

Doesn’t appreciate being teased about being a cat.

Refuses to be dressed up. He will bite you if you try.

Is one of the better kwamis at hiding.

He likes fall most, many leaves to swipe at. Winter he likes well enough, but doesn’t like the cold. Summer he likes having the sun out so he can sunbathe. Spring can sometimes be too noisy.

Loves watching tv, and loves a good few genres. Horror and drama he’ll laugh at. Loves to make fun of documentaries exploring myths.

He looooooves Halloween.

Knows everything there is to know about cheese.

One time, one of his holders told him the moon was made out of cheese as a joke, and Plagg believed and dreamed of one day going up and eating the moon.

He practically cried when he found out it wasn’t true.

He is one of the hardest kwamis to piss off. But once mad, may the gods have mercy on your soul. If he doesn’t like you, he’ll be the biggest terror and menace you’ll ever meet.

Is actually able to give good advice, just lazy. And some emotions he doesn’t quite know what to do with.

Is an enabler for rebellious behavior, especially for as an outlet.

Secretly enjoys love drama.

Of all kwamis, he’s closest with Tikki. And he gets lectured a lot.

Trixx is in between a best friend and rival to Plagg.

Wayzz

Is the easiest kwami to make anxious. He prefers to always have a plan and be sure of everything. Worries when things don’t go as planned.

Isn’t really known for affection, but is more than happy to share his wisdom and advice.

Is more than happy to sit and talk about philosophy all day long.

Loves being surrounded by nature aesthetics, from little soothing water fountain to a small tray of sand to a zen garden.

He likes to be hidden and to have his own space.

If the issue is big enoug, can be very thoughtless about staying hidden from view.

Formalities and respect are everything.

Enjoys all seasons, though winter can be too cold for him and makes him sleepy.

Doesn’t like watching tv, documentaries on history and myths annoy him so much.

He loves to travel around the world, see what’s changed and what has stayed the same.

Can be nostalgic time to time.

He is the exhausted dad of the kwamis.

Tikki, Bee, and Nooroo he is closest with.

Plagg and Trixx make him fret and tired, Duusu just makes him tired.

Duusu

Is a ball of energy. She always has to be on the move, always expressing herself in some way.

She’s the most vocal of the kwamis. You think Tikki can be blunt? You have not seen blunt till Duusu.

Is very sensitive. Is the easist to agitate and anger. Easy to make her cry.

Despite this, over all, she’s very optimistic and encouraging.

Pushes her holders to get out there, step up, get what they want.

Next to Bee, gives amazing fashion advise.

Loves everything artisitc. Can give solid critiques and advice on anything art related.

Loves to go to places that have a show or display going, such as art museums, art galleries, theater, dance shows, concerts, fashion shows, ect.

Thinks she’s an amazing singer. She’s not.

Is very physically affectionate, especially when excited.

Likes to refer to her holders as Chicks.

Gets emotional when they grow up or have stepped up responsibly.

Likes to be as involved as possible with her holders, especially in their creative hobbies.

She likes to be held most.

Because she can be so excitable, she easily forgets that she has to stay hidden.

Will hold you to your promise.

Is not a morning person at all.

Beauty sleep is important.

She loves spring the most. Fall is second as her favorite season.

Enjoys watching tv, especially anything art related and does enjoy romance and romantic comedies. Will cry at anything sad.

Of the kwamis, she’s best friend with Bee, especially on art related stuff and being fabulous.

Nooroo she likes to dote on.

Trixx and Duusu can get into a lot of trouble when excited together, though more often than not, Trixx enjoys riling Duusu up.

Plagg just flat out annoys Duusu.

Tikki and Wayzz Duusu thinks are a little too by the book.

Trixx

Probably one of the chillest kwamis ever, can rival Plagg in this.

She’s just so calm, very little gets to her.

Is kind of hard to piss off.

Lives with the believe that one should go at their own pace, also believes that some lessons are better learned on your own and won’t waste a lecture, even more so when she knows more often than not, her holder will just go ahead and do what they want anyway.

Can be very coy and playful.

Will sometimes pull pranks and be goofy, enjoys riling others up.

Likes croissants because they look like fox tails.

Can be sassy and vague time to time.

Enjoys watching drama unfold, and the funnier the situation, the better.

A huge supporter of romance.

It’s because of Trixx that Asian folklore of foxes resolve around seducing and tricking men, much of that is Trixx encouraging her holders to pursue their loves.

Likes to be hidden, is really good at staying hidden.

Trixx is the biggest nuzzler.

Likes to refer to her holders as “Kit”.

Enjoys watching tv, comedies are her favorite. Also enjoys horror too.

Very active at night. Is very dead in the morning, but it doesn’t take much to get her going.

She likes a lot of human holidays, such as Valentine’s Day, April Fools, Halloween.

Trixx likes all seasons.

Plagg she is sort of best friends with, though also a bit of rival too.

She enjoys riling up Duusu and Plagg most.

Bee and Nooroo she thinks are too responsibility driven and can let loose a little more.

Tikki and Wayzz she thinks are a little too by the book.

Nooroo

Is the sweetest kwami of them all. Who would dare hurt him? He is always so considerate and concerned for his holders and watches out for everyone.

Very knowledgable, is more than happy to advise and guide his holders.

Loves answering questions and explaining stuff.

Is very good at handling emotionally sensitive people and dealing with emotion related problems.

Is so easy to make him happy, just wish him good morning and he’ll flutter all day long.

His holders comfort are always first, especially near the time they’re together. He’ll keep a respectful distance, not invading their space. Once the ok is given, Nooroo likes to perch on his holders.

Affectionately, he reaches out with the lightest and gentlest of touches.

Nooroo likes to sunbathe.

He is a morning person.

Loves flowers, and the more colorful, the better.

Over all he likes all seasons, though spring is his favorite.

Surprisingly enjoys horror, always likes feel good shows and movies.

Tragedies will make him cry easily.

Is very good at hiding, will come out only when he’s sure it’s safe too.

Over all he gets along with all kwamis. Bee, Tikki, and Wayzz he’s closest too.

Trixx and Plagg Nooroo wishes were a little more serious.

Duusu can sometimes be a little too energized for Nooroo, but he appreciates it too.

Bee

Another calm kwami, though out of all of them, can be the vaguest kwami. Prefers to have her holders learn to think things through on their own and that means making them figure stuff out on their own.

Is perfectly fine explaining something if they ask and offering her opinion and thoughts.

She will voice her opinions though if they’re not figuring stuff out and are about to make a mistake, especially if that will wind up causing discourse.

Is a huuuuge supporter of teamwork.

Desires her holders to be responsible and will push for them to do their given tasks and responsibilities.

She buzzes when she’s angry.

She waggles when she’s happy.

Is fond of puns, spouts bee puns. Never regrets it.

Can be formal, though not as much as Wayzz

Most affectionate for her is usually resting on her holders and doing a waggle around them.

She is fond of fashion and next to Duusu, gives solid fashion advise.

Bee always cares to look nice and make sure if fuzz is fluffy and soft.

You have to ask to pet her fuzz.

She appreciates creativity, though her favorite forms of art resolve around crafting and dance.

Not much of a tv fan, but does enjoy nature programs time to time.

Is the best gardener of them all, always requests having a garden or at least one plant to care for when she’s with a new holder.

Loves spring and summer.

Likes to call her holders “Honey”.

Does enjoy being spoiled.

Is a solid morning person, likes to retire early for bed.

She refuses to believe that she snores.

Can become exaggerated with her holders when they get dramatic.

Of all kwamis, she gets along with Nooroo most.

Duusu she is solid friends with, both enjoy fashion and art.

Tikki and Wayzz she gets along with.

Plagg and Trixx she is willing to sting if they try to rile her up. She has no tolerance for them when they’re playful.

#long post #miraculous ladybug #kwamis #kwami headcanons #predictions #personal thoughts #Tikki #Plagg #Wayzz #Nooroo #Bee #Duusu #Trixx

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houtbayvineyards · 4 years

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Summer Open Weekend November 2017

15 November 2017

We started writing about the drought in the Western Cape as far back as May 2015 and there is still no end in sight. The situation has become dire and is a very serious reality that affects us all. Fires that usually start in November and December have already flared up and threatened our vineyards at Constantia Nek Farm. At Hout Bay Vineyards we are fortunate to have sub-surface water that we use in our cellar, but we sympathise with the farmers who do not have this luxury as the wine-making process requires large amounts of water. For this reason, we are continually exploring ways to reduce our usage.

On a much happier note, we are proud to announce that we have achieved 4.5 stars in the Platters Wine Guide 2018 for our flagship red, Petrus 2013 vintage. As per the guide, “All wines that score 4.5 stars and up in the primary (sighted) tasting have been re-tasted in a taste-off where small panels of experts assess these wines in a blind/unsighted tasting. The highest-rated wines have therefore undergone multiple rounds of stringent tasting and are truly exceptional wines.” Although Platters is sometimes subjected to criticism, it is the most definitive wine guide in South Africa and for ‘Petrus’ to have achieved 94 points - 1 short of five stars – is certainly a momentous occasion for our boutique cellar.

We believe that the success of our wines is due to our simple philosophy of BALANCE. From the vine to the bottle, this is our aim. In the vineyard, we try to maintain a balance between farming and nature. We are not strictly organic (this entails a mountain of paperwork and red tape), but we work with the most environmentally friendly products we can source to protect the vines from fungus and disease. We never spray insecticides. In the past, we have released ladybirds to combat aphids and mealybugs, and at present, we are looking to erect bat boxes in the vineyards. Bats are very effective at controlling any infestation of flying insects that may occur without causing harm to the surroundings.

We do not irrigate either. This helps to prevent the vines from becoming burdened with an excess of grapes and we ‘drop bunches’ to induce a sustainable carrying capacity for each vine. When harvesting, we hand-pick and then sort the grapes, removing leaves and unsuitable berries, and return all spiders and snails to their habitat. It is a tedious but necessary undertaking. Once in the cellar, we are always careful to maintain the balance between fruit and wood. French oak and acacia barrels of 300 litres and 500 litres are used as they offer a smaller surface area of wine to wood, ensuring a more gentle maturation and ‘wooding’ process, and as Peter always says, ‘to show respect for the fruit.’

The sizeable harvest of 25 tons from earlier in the year (as mentioned in the May newsletter) brought with it a number of challenges, not least of which was the recurring lack of space in our cellar. This problem has plagued us for several years, making it a constant struggle to find room for everything. We have implemented various ideas towards expansion and improvement so that the cellar is always evolving and growing. By the same token, we like to think that the quality of our product also evolves and grows with each new vintage.

Our summer open weekend will be taking place on Saturday and Sunday, the 25th and 26th of November, from 12h00 to 17h00, and we look forward to welcoming you again. There will be a R50 entrance fee for adults which will allow you to sample all the wines. As always, it is a happy occasion and everyone is welcome, so please bring friends and family along.

We will be selling our wines by the case – at cellar-door prices, of course, which means that they include VAT. For those of you who wish to buy our wine by the bottle, you may continue to do so at retail outlets, such as the Oakhurst Spar or Hout Bay Tops, where they are available all year round.

We also hold wine tasting by appointment at our cellar. This is a very special, personalised time for not only tasting the wine but also for learning about the grapes and the production of the different wines.

At our open weekend:

Art by Intle Art Club, a Hout Bay community art initiative that teaches youngsters from Imizamo Yethu & Hangberg, will be on display.

Charcuterie platters will be available.

The following will be available for purchase by the case:

2013 Petrus

2014 Klasiek MCC

2015 Merlot

2017 Blush

2017 Sauvignon Blanc

Accepted methods of payment are cash, credit card and SnapScan (download on Google).

By Wayne Matthews

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waterghostype · 11 days

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volume cw (i tried lowering it but jic. also loud swearing)

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bethestaryouareradio · 6 years

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Elite Makeovers, Finding Focus, Lady Bugs

Whether it’s updating your image or transforming your dating life, Kim Seltzer’s philosophy is simple… work from the inside-out to achieve your goals and boost your self-confidence. Kim developed her own personalized wing gal approach with clients doing in-field work with men and women working on body language, first impressions, image and messaging and how it impacts attraction. Her process is light-hearted, fun and empathic aimed at improving dating experiences and relationships. The services at SeltzerStyle provide include private phone/Skype sessions, email coaching, and dating boot camps.

Is your brain being altered by video screens? The prime culprit in hijacking attention spans is the smartphone. Do you know how to unplug? Learn ways to get your focus back!

Have you ever wondered where ladybugs come from and how their life cycle evolves? Cynthia Brian witnessed the metamorphous and was completely captivated by the experience. Where there are aphids, ladybugs feed. Find out more when the Goddess Gardener bugs out!

Bio: About Kim

With a vat of knowledge and experience as a therapist, certified style coach, dating coach, and matchmaker, Kim Seltzer has helped hundreds of people find lasting love and connection and build valuable relationships using her unique “confidence makeover” process. Using an outside-in approach, Kim has changed hundreds of lives by changing their style, emotional and social intelligence using her signature formula, “The Charisma Quotient,” working on body language, first impressions, image and messaging and how it impacts attraction. This Los Angeles-based expert travels the country helping people discover confidence, charisma and connection as a speaker at National Matchmaking Conferences, eHarmony, Neutrogena and iDate, as well as her own annual conference series for men and women, The Makeover Blueprint. Kim is also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and DigitalRomance.com, with appearances in Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Reader’s Digest, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Yahoo Shine and the Washington Examiner, among a myriad of other publications. You can also find Kim as a frequent co-host on the podcasts The Art of Charm with Jordan Harbinger as well as past episodes on the traveling live dating show The Great Love Debate, and in her new cable reality dating show, The Romance. You can also listen to her now on her own podcast, The Charisma Quotient. www.eliteimagemakeovers.com

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#lady bugs dating relationships love hearts on-line dating single married Kimberly seltzer seltzer style makeovers brain altering smartphones

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clothestop · 6 years

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You think you're pro-life?:

You think you're pro-life?

““Let me tell you some things. I used to investigate child abuse and neglect. I can tell you how to stop the vast majority of abortion in the world. First, make knowledge and access to contraception widely available. Start teaching kids before they hit puberty.

Teach them about domestic violence and coercion, and teach them not to coerce and rape. Create a strong, loving community where women and girls feel safe and supported in times of need. Because guess what? They aren’t. You know what happens to babies born under such circumstances? They get hurt, unnecessarily. They get sick, unnecessarily. They get removed from parents who love them but who are unprepared for the burden of a child.

Resources? Honey, we try. There aren’t enough resources anywhere. There are waiting lists, and promises, and maybes. If the government itself can’t hook people up, what makes you think an impoverished single mom can handle it? Abolish poverty. Do you have any idea how much childcare costs? Daycare can cost as much or more than monthly rent. They may be inadequately staffed. Getting a private nanny is a nice idea, but they don’t come cheap either. Relatives? Do they own a car? Does the bus run at the right times? Do they have jobs of their own they need to work just to keep the lights on? Are they going to stick around until you get off you convenience store shift at 4 AM? Do they have criminal histories that will make them unsuitable as caregivers when CPS pokes around? You gonna pay for that? Who’s going to pay for that?

End rape. I know your type errs on the side of blaming the woman, but I’ve seen little girls who’ve barely gotten their periods pregnant because somebody thought raping preteens was an awesome idea. You want to put a child through that? Or someone with a mental or physical inability for whom pregnancy would be frightening, painful or even life-threatening?

I’ve seen nonverbal kids who had their feet sliced up by caregivers for no fucking reason at all, you think sexual abuse doesn’t happen either? You say there’s lots of couples who want to adopt. Kiddo, what they want to adopt are healthy white babies, preferably untainted by the wombs and genetics of women with alcohol or drug dependencies. I’ve seen the kids they don’t want, who almost no one wants. You people focus only on the happy pink babies, the gigglers, the ones who grow and grow with no trouble. Those are not the kids who linger in foster care. Those are certainly not the older kids and teenagers who age out of foster care and then are thrown out in the streets, usually with an array of medical and mental health issues. Are they too old to count?

And yeah, I’ve seen the babies, little hand-sized things barely clinging to life. There’s no glory, no wonder there. There is no wonder in a pregnant woman with five dollars to her name, so deep in depression you wonder if she’ll be alive in a week. Therapy costs money. Medicine costs money. Food, clothes, electricity cost money. Government assistance is a pittance; poverty drives women and girls into situations where they are forced to rely on people who abuse them to survive. (I’ve been up in more hospitals than I can count.)

In each and every dark pit of desperation, I have never seen a pro-lifer. I ain’t never seen them babysitting, scrubbing floors, bringing over goods, handing mom $50 bucks a month or driving her to the pediatrician. I ain’t never seen them sitting up for hours with an autistic child who screams and rages so his mother can get some sleep while she rests up from working 14-hour days.

I don’t see them fixing leaks in rundown houses or playing with a kid while the police prepare to interview her about her sexual abuse. They’re not paying for the funerals of babies and children who died after birth, when they truly do become independent organisms. And the crazy thing is they think they’ve already done their job, because the child was born! Aphids give birth, girl. It’s no miracle.

You want to speak for the weak? Get off your high horse and get your hands dirty helping the poor, the isolated, the ill and mentally ill women and mothers and their children who already breathe the dirty air. You are doing nothing, absolutely nothing, for children. You don’t have a flea’s comprehension of injustice. You are not doing shit for life until you get in there and fight that darkness. Until you understand that abortion is salvation in a world like ours.

Does that sound too hard? Do you really think suffering post-birth is more permissible, less worthy of outrage? “Pro-life” is simply a philosophy in which the only life worth saving is the one that can be saved by punishing a woman.”

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