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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

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Unnamed Extremely Bad Plan to Defeat Darth Sideous AU - SW AU NO 9

Hopefully writing down this star wars au will help me exorcise the cringe demon that helped midwife it. Time travel au where obi-wan and Anakin come up with an extremely SPECIFIC and UNCOMFORTABLE plan to defeat Palpatine because it unfortunately, would actually work, as it capitalizes on one of Palpatine’s easiest to reach political vulnerabilities. This is not a unique plan- there are other au’s like this, but this one is mine. When searching for ways to explain exactly why this anti-sith strategy inspires such cringe and delight in myself I realized, with sinking dread, I have seen this in an Always Sunny episode...which yeah. I might be over reacting but hey, cringe is a personal phenomenon, everyone’s different.

Anyway! Uh here’s a bunch of plot that will eventually culminate in the plan.

*Too much plot, aaaah*. **All plot actually.** ***Its 1 am and this is still a draft*** ****It’s 2am**** *****This post will be just be background I guess.*****

*******STAR WARS AU NO 9 LAZILY OUTLINED CHAPTER ONE*********

Force ghosts Darth Vader and Ben Kenobi have had time to yell at one another without need for breath, and have more-or-less come to terms with the trainwreck that was their shared life. I wouldn’t call them well adjusted, but they’re more stable then they were the last decade or so of their living existence.

In haunting Luke, they end up encountering an artifact in an ancient Willis temple that offers spirits the chance to fix the mistakes they made in life. It doesn’t truly unwrite what’s been done, but it lets you create an alternate timeline. So this galaxy will still be what it is, but some alternate galaxy somewhere could at least have it better. Its almost never been used, because becoming one with the force usually lets you accept the past, but viewed objectively, Vader and Ben’s lives involved an extreme amount of yikes. They say goodbye to Luke and are flung backwards and sideways.

Anakin is holding his mother as she dies. Obi-Wan is landing on Genosis.

Vader just barely manages to avoid slaughtering the tuskens. To be honest, he doesn’t really get why he shouldn’t- his moral compass is still pretty f-ed up. He’s fairly certain the force is just torturing him, but still he controls himself (for Padme for Luke for Leia).

I’m gonna say well-adjusted!Vader sees murder in general as more of a vice than a sin- on par with having a beer. And really well adjusted Vader is willing to admit to himself that he’s an alcoholic, he seriously cannot regulate, its a problem. He really can’t let himself go, because he’ll just end up spiraling. And so he restrains himself and only seriously maims a few of the adult raiders.

Vader figures he can always come back later and slowly torture them to death if this whole ‘save the future’ thing doesn’t pan out.

Obi-wan leaves his shuttle and hides under a rock for 30 minutes. He calculates thats just enough time for him to pretend he went on an extremely effective and sneaky fact finding mission- just in case anyone checks R4′s records. Gets back in shuttle and gets the fuck out of there, much to Dooku’s chagrin, who lost sight of him after the shuttle landed and is now going to have to switch to one of his alternate start-the-war plans.

On the flight back he reports everything to the council- fallen Dooku and the separatist leaders, the trade federation and the massive droid army, Jango Fett the clone template of the republic army (?) working for the separatists. He briefly comms Anakin, but anyone hacking into their conversations would hear only a nonsensical, rambling conversation. Later, a hacker might turn over the idea that they were speaking in elaborate code, but why would Jedi invent such a thing during peacetime?

The war still starts; at this point in the timeline it was inevitable; the artifact was only designed to give them the chance to correct their own failings, not the galaxy’s. Palpatine still gets his emergency powers.

The same day the armies are discovered, separatist war ships take off to engulf Ryloth. The Jedi are instructed by the senate to lead the clone army and provide immediate relief-this will not be a repeat of the republic’s inaction on Naboo. It’s both better and worse than the first Battle of Genosis. So many more civilians are caught in the crossfire. The first titanic battle is not contained to evacuated droid factories, but rages across an entire populated world. The battle lasts for weeks.

The main reason this fight is less deadly is solely due to the fact that General Kenobi manages to maneuver his way into high command of the entire army.

“I believe assumptions were made since I was the first point of contact with Kamino, Masters,” the Knight explained apologetically to the arriving high council members. “I realize its not quite appropriate, but for right now I am the Jedi most familiar with our forces and the enemies. I would, of course, prefer to cede the role to someone else.”

The assembled Jedi can feel the truth in that statement.

“For better or for worse, advance troops were directed by the senate to land planetside and have met heavy resistance. I managed to redirect them to a more defensible position, where they can provide surface based cover fire for incoming reinforcements. The battle has already begun.” He received a grim nod of approval from Master Windu.

“I feel the need to say now, that if there’s one thing I learned from my time as a general on Melida/Dann, or in working against Death Watch on Mandalore, its that having a clear chain of command is vital for a military to succeed. I don’t need to remind some of you that leadership breakdowns were what ultimately ended both the Stark Hyperspace War and the Yinchorri Crisis,” Masters Koon and Tiin exchanged looks before deliberately sending forth a small force wave of approval, understanding where this briefing was leading.

“I believe that unnecessarily restructuring command before the battle is won here could do far more harm than good.” The reminder of Obi-wan’s unusually militaristic apprenticeship put some of the assembled knights at ease even as it inspired a twinge of guilt in the older masters.

“In command you are, General Kenobi,” Master Yoda finally acknowledged. “A Jedi Master you will be, once done this battle is. Have us do, what would you?”

The battle lasts for weeks, and when its over, the commanding Jedi and Troopers involved will openly acknowledge that had anyone else been in command, it would’ve lasted months, if not years. Facing down logistical, strategic, and tactical problems on a scale unheard of for a thousand years, High General Kenobi does not falter.

Enemy reinforcements seem unending. For all their preparation, every single trooper is new to war, and secretly concerned that should they fall, they will be replaced with cadets who hadn’t even finished their training.

Obi-Wan is putting out fires before they can start. Much to their shock, clone commanders are informed that they will, for the time being, remain in charge of their troops. With a handful of exceptions, Jedi ‘Generals’ were in fact, to be treated as a cross between highly skilled commandoes and advisors with abnormally sourced field intelligence.

“All of you have spent your lives training to lead your brothers into combat. The Jedi Masters and knights who are being assigned to your divisions have not received such training.”

General Kenobi addressed the division commanders, some in person, some over holocomm. All focused in rapt attention as their General reordered the shape of their lives using language they could understand.

“The command structure I am issuing is designed to maximize our ability to utilize our respective strategic capabilities, while minimizing potential loss of your life. It will be our great privilege to serve alongside such an army, and while I fully expect a complementary exchange of knowledge in time, for now, focus on survival.”

The Jedi received similar briefings, tailored for their broader array of combat and military experience. Some, including Jedi Master Pong Krell and Grandmaster Yoda, were pulled aside and tasked with the essential mission of infiltrating and destroying the Droid factories on Genosis. If they were to have a chance of winning this war, they they would need to cut off the seemingly unceasing flow of droid reinforcements.

An elite squadron of Arctroopers and Jedi field operatives were covertly dispatched, Grandmaster Yoda himself in command. Considering Count Dooku had yet to appear anywhere near Ryloth...the grandmaster had the best chance of bringing in the fallen separatist leader alive for questioning.

Shortly after they left, Anakin arrived, having finally turned over Padme’s protection to her regular guard. With the military creation vote past, the assassination risk was considered minimal. The real delay in his arrival came from her repeated attempts to join the Grand Army of the Republic on Ryloth with the intent of coordinating humanitarian assistance. Eventually he managed to convince her that she could do more good in the senate.

After all, he pointed out, someone would need to followup the military creation act with a bill to grant clones equal citizen rights. Otherwise, the legal grey area that cloning fell under and their non-republic origin would inadvertently make the clones slaves.

His borrowed Nabooan cruiser entered the warzone with the grace and efficiency as a small neutron bomb.

Those close enough to see its flaming descent watched in horror, realizing that the high generals own padawan would likely be a war casualty before he ever engaged in combat.

The legion nearest to soon-to-be-ground-zero, under the command of Captain Rex of the 501st, were distracted by heated combat, as the temporary barricade they had put up to defend the civilian population gave way to droidika artillery.

While reloading, several dozen troopers happened to look up to see a speck detach itself from the hull as at spiraled in the lower atmosphere. Hope spread that the Jedi had managed to activate some sort of eject hatch. A skilled shocktrooper could probably control and and survive such a fall with luck, which mean a Jedi almost certainly could.

A few tactical scouts charged with watching the skies confirmed that the speck was indeed a humanoid. No chute was visible, but even 8 days into the war, rumors had already spread about how Master Windu had passed off his chute mid-air to a troopers who had been damaged by suppressing fire, cushioning his free fall solely with the tank he crushed upon landing.

Only one trooper, stationed in the town clock tower specifically to track the Padawan’s arrival and issued with a high-resolution farscope, saw the whole thing. Fortunately for his credibility later, in its current setting, the scope automatically logged photos every 5 seconds, ensuring that for years to come Obi-Wan would have a flipbook as evidence that he was not the crazy one.

CT-3609 or Blink (as he was named after winning the division wide staring contest on Kamino two year prior) forwarded the trajectory of the vehicle to command, who confirmed his analysis that it would impact two clicks out from their makeshift fort and not present a risk to civilian or trooper lives.

As it traversed the stratosphere a figure (desperate repair droid, Blink assumed) emerged from the cockpit to perch on the nose of the ship. As it entered the troposphere, it became painfully obvious that the figure jutting out from the hull of the ship was in fact not a humanoid droid, but an unarmored human. The Jedi stood on the prow of the ship, seemingly impervious to and oblivious of:

air resistance

centrifugal force

normal space gravity

Blink’s slack-jawed bewilderment

the flames engulfing the ship below him

At this range, the smirk on the man’s face was visible (man? boy? kriff is he even through puberty?). Several miles above the surface he leaped, diving towards the ground like a bird of prey.

To the west, the ship made impact with the ground, sending a shockwave that shook the tower just enough for Blink to lose visual in the final moments of descent. Cursing, as while he was confident the Jedi would inexplicably survive, he really wanted to see how. The trooper scanned the droid-engulfed farmland to the north for a crash site, to no avail. Lingering smoke from the burnt countryside negatively impacted visibility low to the ground.

Rather than trying to articulate his report into words, he sent the 50-odd frames the farscope had saved, as well as the coordinates for the jedi’s projected radius of touchdown. A quick radio over to long range electro-ballistics ensured that his landing wouldn’t be marred by friendly fire.

He awaited follow-up questions on the absurd entry method, which, when they came, mostly consisted of variations on “...Is this for real?” and eventually “Can you set the scope to video for a little while?” and finally “Do you think that’s how he got the name Skywalker?”

There was a temporarily lull in fire from the west, likely a ripple effect from the ship’s explosion. From his vantage point Blink could see his batchmates using the opportunity to try and plug the holes in their barricade with broken droid pieces. Regardless of the itch to join them, he knew he couldn’t leave his post until the Jedi actually arrived in camp. Finally, a distant explosion and thick pillar of smoke gave the Jedi’s position away.

He tried to make out details, but the scope had a difficult time focusing through the haze. Manually trying to fine tune the scope’s settings, Blink caught a glimpse of what looked like half a hover tank sailing through the air to impact with a trade federation troop carrier in a fiery explosion. Several more explosions, flying droid artillery, and plumes of smoke were caught on record before visual contact with the source was established. He was mostly visible as a blue blur, lightsaber mowing a meandering path towards their location.

It wasn’t until Skywalker braced himself in place to punch a droidaka into pieces that Blink caught actual sight of the man. Only his eyes were visible, nose and mouth covered by layers of cloth. He blurred, then reappeared on top a massive missile launcher attached to an absurdly heavily armored vehicle. A minute or so of rapid blue flashes passed, the longest he had seen concentrated in one area. Then Skywalker was gone, movement clearly visible as he for once he moved in a straight line, plowing a rapid path away from the launcher.

Less than 30 seconds later, Blink had to wince away from the scope, as a burning white explosion temporarily overwhelmed the direct light filter. The trooper panicked for a moment, thinking he had gone both deaf and blind, but the abrupt, sucking silence ended after a moment with a deafening sonic boom. The shockwave rattled the farscope, nearly knocking it over, but Blink managed to steady it and himself in time.

A cheer emerged from pleasantly surprised vod below. The entire droid legion that had been guarding the missile launcher and apparent ordinance bay was flattened.

It took a moment for the realization to set in that the background noise of missile and and anti-missile collisions directly overhead had slowed pace. With the northern flank gone, artillery were able to redouble efforts to the east, and a second white hot shockwave ensued, signaling that the tide of battle had shifted. It was almost too easy for the republics electro-ballistics to tactically devastate the surrounding forces.

Eventually some sort of win/loss programming must have set in and all forces outside of a certain radius began retreating southward, conceding the scorched land to the republic army. It was cadets work to clean up the final suicidal droid charge.

A commotion ensued as Skywalker leapt the barricade with a mid-air flip. The vod greeted him with cheers, as they correctly assumed his appearance had something to do with the skirmish’s decisive victory.

Blink sent the video of the battle to command and quickly packed up his scope and assorted equipment. Hurrying down the battered tower, Blink thought to himself that this Anakin Skywalker was the best sort of Jedi a trooper could ask for.

uh sorry i got really sidetracked there moving on

Kenobi and Skywalker quickly become the face of the war once again

they grit their teeth a bit, but when they finally have a moment to really plan they eventually agree that to take down Sideous they have to cut off his political power in addition to everything else, and taking advantage of their public personas was the most accessible way to do so (*evil laughter*)

While Dooku wasn’t captured, Yoda heard the truth in his old student’s cryptic warnings about a Sith in the Senate, and the council begins carefully editing their release of tactical plans to the Chancellor’s office in the hopes of ferreting out the spy in their midst.

Pong Krell looses two arms in his duel with Dooku. Obi-Wan successfully hides his smug pleasure at the news. Anakin enjoys makeing comparisons between him and Grievous.

Kenobi doesn’t allow the origin of the clones to go unexamined, although he agrees that if the public were informed that they don’t actually know who ordered them it would probably cause panic.

The ‘inhibitor chips’ are ‘discovered’ early on and Anakin leads the effort to ensure that they are phased out and removed immediately. This consists of reminding every Jedi who even hesitates about how how he as a child slave had some experience with control chips and unless you want to take a leaf out of the hutts books lets start doing brain surgery chop chop mmmkay?

(This isn’t to say that Vader doesn’t still a twinge of shame at acknowledging his slave roots. But it is eclipsed by the burning guilt that he knowingly acted as slave master to his troops for decades after Sideous wiped their minds. He tried to rationalize it to himself, after all he didn’t immediately understand what Order 66 had done to the troopers. But while the morality of murder was more of an intellectual concern than a personal one, treating people as things...)

The Kamonions are a little harder to budge, referencing contracts that they refuse to allow the Jedi to see

Finally Vader snuck into the Chief Medical Scientist’s home while she was sleeping and straight-up threatened to murder her and burn down her lab. At the risk of losing her life’s work, Nala Se complied.

Vader left with the final threat that in the event that Darth Tyranus caught wind and activated Order 66 prematurely, he would kill 100 Kamonians for every Jedi felled by troopers. Shaak Ti was pleased by the cloners sudden change of heart. Tyrannus, and by extension, Sideous, are in the dark.

Obi-Wan frequently publicly confronts Palpatine about the troops citizen status, urging him make use of his emergency powers to grant them citizenship and full pay, with the option to leave the army should they so wish.

Anakin manages to play off his avoidance of the Chancellor as disappointment in his perceived lack of dedication to anti-slavery efforts

Finally Palpatine gives in- regardless of what happens next, the troops will be looked after.

With 2/3rds of the troopers dechipped, Vaderkin is eager to kill Sideous again, but after several intense screaming matches and sparring sessions, the time travelers come to the agreement that even if they succeed in their duel, with things as they were, the perception of the Jedi military coop would cause mass civil unrest. The scattered sith apprentices, while individually weak, were more than capable of magnifying that fear and anger until the galaxy breaks. Darth Sideous wanted to ensure that if he couldn’t have the galaxy, no one would.

(Vader knows this. Sideous enjoyed monologuing, and much of his plotting couldn’t be safely bragged about until after he had decisively won, leaving Vader as the unwilling receptacle for years of pent-up rants and self-satisfied gloats about the inevitability of his victory)

Continued Here

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reading-writing-revolution · 4 years

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Winning at Social Media Politics

SJ STONE

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2020

·READING TIME: 8 MINUTES

Over the years, and especially in this toxic sort of online environment rife with trolls and angry bickering, we've seen friends and family (and even ourselves) engage in more and more political arguments online, most all of which we can agree are a momentous waste of time to the point that it's been making the rounds for years now that you can't win a political argument online and there's no point in trying. Instead, what so many have done is to shut off the flow of negativity by taking oneself out of the equation, either by avoiding confrontation on social media and/or by muting (unfollowing) social media "friends" or unfriending them altogether. One would say that this is not productive, and yet the peace of mind that comes with it is lovely. So, what's the solution when one way is toxic and the other so limiting?

I bumped into a few different ideas lately that have helped me change my own approach, and so I thought I would discuss that here - how we can make simple changes to our own "rules of engagement" and continue to interact and sway opinions online.

I do this (engage online) and talk about this here because now more than ever it is critical, in my opinion, that we must engage - continually, with purpose and clarity, and with the understanding that sitting the political "war of ideas" out is just as unproductive and dangerously apathetic as not voting. Those who have chosen to just sit quietly at home with their cats and their shows rather than contribute to the political process in the United States of America are betraying themselves and everyone else - sorry, but everything happening around you is political and is important because of the horrors that we are confronted with. Only politics will solve them, and we each have a responsibility as a citizen and human being to contribute to a better world.

So, back to the main thrust here - as I've already mentioned that we should all be involved and engaged. And you CAN contribute to the solutions through your interactions on social media, and do so in a positive and productive way, even in dealing with the endless trolls and other assholes out there, if you are careful in your approach. Here are my 3 easy rules to getting there, going from easiest to hardest:

1. Do not go on any friend's social media page and shit on their political views. That is their space. Leave it to them. If you want to agree with them or offer a perspective and add to the conversation, go for it. You know them. Engage, but don't show up and tell them they are dumb.

2. When you venture out to comment on a news site's post, where you will encounter the entire planet, don't attack there either. It's not worth your time, and if you do, you're just becoming another internet troll that makes engagement, interaction and problem solving impossible. Make your own comment and let people come to you.

Now, you might think, "Well, that's where I'm fucked, and someone's going to roll up and be an asshole no matter what I say." Yes and no.

Because there's a 'yes' option, let's address it.

I get lots of trolls because I make a lot of comments. I take two approaches - I engage if I feel like bothering, and when I do engage with that person, I stick to the points I made. I do not attack back. If the person is a dick, I first go to their profile and see if they seem to be an actual person or not, and if they are clearly a troll, I just call them out as a troll in my reply and let it go. If they are really nasty, I may engage by congratulating them on the truly awful things they've just said; that shuts every asshole down every time. "Wow, bud, that was the most amazing totally dick thing I've ever heard anyone say. 5 stars! You should get a trophy for that. You can put it on your mantle and show your family and friends." Yep, you'll never hear from that person again, and if anyone else is interacting, they will love what you said and probably hammer that asshole. That's a win. Otherwise, I don't engage because I said what I wanted to say in my comment, and that's enough for me. I'm there to express myself, not be a punching bag or make friends.

There's also a 'no' option here, and if no one rolls up and trolls you, then no worries. Or, if people comment and discuss in a kindly manner, engage or not. It's up to you.

3. And this is where I talk about the approach I think you should make to avoid a lot of trolls and to contribute to the conversation in a way that isn't divisive and could contribute to more people being engaged. I get tons of likes with this approach and very few trolls, and you can, too.

a. Again, don't attack. Starting your comment off with "Trump is a dick" is not going to get you anywhere, even if it feels good to do it. It does, and sometimes it's difficult to not say that. Instead, consider the point you are trying to make and focus on that and engage any readers by asking a question to wrap it up. And avoid, above all, whataboutism. No one wants to hear how Obama would or wouldn't have done that, or Reagan did it, too. Call out the misbehavior, or the good behavior, on its own merits and focus on the principles.

One of the biggest things out there is whataboutism, and people will say "but XYZ did it, too" or "what about ABC?" Well, I say, if it's wrong now, it was wrong then. Can you agree it's wrong? That usually shuts all the "whataboutism" people the fuck up. They didn't want to discuss the issue, just shit on someone. But either way, talk about the issue at hand as much as you can, not the people doing it so much.

If we're talking about whistleblowers, no matter what the issue is, focus on the value of whistleblowers in a neutral way to remind people of all the good things they do and why they are so important: they help prevent cheating, fraud, cover-ups, lawbreaking, etc., and they are valuable to every organization because they protect workers, shareholders, investors, and especially taxpayers, and they save everyone money and resources that would otherwise we stolen by the corrupt people exposed. Whistleblowers are acting honorably and with integrity - aren't these traits that we need more of in our society? Whistleblowers get nothing out of exposing corruption; if anything, they put themselves in danger and demonstrate courage, another trait that we need to see more of. Whistleblowers are everyday Americans, not affiliated with a political party or a race, color or creed. They are just people trying to do the right thing, so they should be respected and protected and appreciated.

b. Talk about concepts, traits and characteristics as they apply to the topic at hand. I find myself talking more and more about the value of honesty, integrity, compassion, courage as well as the blight of cowardice, dishonesty, fraud, and corruption. Talk about the principles and values that all Americans share and honor when you're pointing out this or that. Talk about how your were brought up, or link it to values in religion or the values of the Founding Fathers. Give examples.

When Trump says something shitty about a Black person or a woman, don't just say he's an asshole - we all know he's an asshole and he doesn't give a fuck about anyone. Don't even mention Trump; just talk about how the person being disparaged is an American citizen, a taxpayer, a human being, someone that should be respected as a person in our society, a person that did this or that. That person is someone's friend, brother, sister, mother, daughter, father, best bud, roommate, your son's teacher, a fireman. Remind folks that people are people, not just things or numbers or statistics. (Sadly, I think a lot of people need to be reminded of this.) Disparaging them is shitty, maybe racist or misogynistic or both, depending on what's happening. Talk about how this sort of behavior is not honorable or worthy of the office of the President, the person who represents the United States, or a sitting Senator or a television host. Note that you would be appalled by that behavior if your son or daughter or father or mother acted that way. Remind people what our societal norms are and what kind of behavior is acceptable and unacceptable. You don't have to mention Trump at all. Ask people to remember what it means to be kind. It’s refreshing to read about, talk about the value of kindness, the clarity of honesty, the security of trust. Hand out those good vibes and let everyone bask for a moment in that good feeling of better times.

I think you'll find that people will respond mostly positively to what you say if you don't make yourself a target (by being shitty) and if you espouse ideas that most everyone can agree with. For those people who have slowly, surely allowed themselves and their principles to be corrupted by Trumpism, this approach, IMHO, offers a way back to the principles that they didn't realize they were no longer supporting, and you are helping them remember what trust and compassion are. All you're doing is talking about those ideals that supposedly we all hold/held dear as people, as Americans, as taxpayers, as human beings. Some of us out there have lost our way, and I think that if we engage in a non-threatening way and espouse that positive traits of a cohesive, compassionate society, we can pull some people out of the flames of hate and also encourage and embolden some of the quiet people to speak up and become part of the movement.

So, no, you cannot win a political argument on social media, so stop arguing. There are better ways to do this.

#politics #social media #arguing #trolls #leadership #debate

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echoboots · 7 years

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Advocating to Callous Listeners: Five (Not-So-Easy) Steps

This is a very strange Martin Luther King Day. In my lifetime, we've always had a long way to go on race relations--I think most people agree we were not enjoying a post-racial society before the November election--but this is the first time that a President-Elect picked a fight with a civil rights legend the weekend before his inauguration. And, more importantly, this behavior does not exist in a vacuum--our President-Elect ran on a blatantly racist, homophobic, ableist, and Islamophobic platform, and though he did not win with a majority, he did win. And his victory (such as it was) emboldened racist people throughout the country to say what they really think--or, as was the case in many school bathrooms and Congressional floors throughout the country, do what they really think. And most of us who are decent human beings are horrified by this, and want it to change.

However, when many of us with these reactions tried to talk to our family/colleagues/friends/garbagemen who supported Trumpian politics, we had a second horrifying realization: This person we were speaking to did not care about fellow human beings. "The Black Lives Matter movement started because people are dying," we told them, and to our abject horror, they just didn't care. Appealing to a sense of humanity did not work, because the listener did not view the subject population as people.

And this is the point where many of us well-meaning advocates, and especially allies, start to draw a blank about what to even do next. Recognizing the humanity of fellow human beings is so basic to us that we don't know what to do when someone rejects it--the carburetor in our brain stops turning over, and we stand there sputtering, "But they should!" And we're right--they should--but they still don't.

I know something of this challenge, because I spent four and a half years writing about mitigating factors of very marginalized and vulnerable people for a living. Talking to people about their experience above has made me realize it might be helpful to talk about my trial and error process. To that end, I’ve drafted a quick primer on an unofficial five-step process I’ve identified over years as a professional advocate. Though this is by no means exhaustive and makes certain assumptions about the relationship between the speaker and the listener, I’m hoping it’s a helpful start for the average ally and advocate.

1. Let Go of 'Should,' And Recognize 'Is'

This is the first step, but it's also by far the hardest--if you can manage it, the rest becomes much easier. Probably most people reading this know that anyone with the empathy God gave a grapefruit thinks that other human beings dying is bad. The natural corollary there is that this person we are speaking to does not, in fact, have the empathy God gave a grapefruit. There's a real impulse to reject not just that person, but the whole rest of the process--"Well this person is terrible, so until they aren't, I'm done." And I hate to break this to you, Dear Reader, but if you have set out to advocate you are not, in fact, done--or at least, not just because this person should have empathy and doesn't. Nobody is going to make those people play by the rules of basic humanity. People who lack the empathy God gave a grapefruit still sometimes need to be dealt with, and walking away in those situations is a luxury we're losing the ability to exercise. You gotta even. I'm sorry.

This doesn't mean that you have to think this person is wonderful, of course--as soon as you are done interacting with that person in that context, it is appropriate (and even healthy) to blow off steam about how awful it was to engage with them. It's part of the human condition. But you definitely can't have a win condition without even playing the game, and that means recognizing the reality in front of you.

2. Identify Goals (Ahead of Time, if Possible)

You'll note that I said above, "People...sometimes still need to be dealt with." The obvious corollary is that sometimes, they don't. The best way to avoid banging your head against a human brick wall for an hour is to have a good idea of whether you need to deal with this person--and the easiest way to do that is to identify your goals. And even when you do need to talk to a person, having a firm understanding of what you're trying to achieve helps you get in, say what you have to say, and get out--so it's very helpful to know going in. What are you trying to achieve by talking to this person? Do they control access to a resource you need? Are they engaging in a damaging behavior you want to stop? Are they voting all of our human rights away in the first week of their first session before your eyes? (Spoiler: If your answer is "I want to let them know that their ideas are bad and and they should feel bad," I recommend walking away.)

To help you see what I'm talking about, let's go through an example scenario--for the purposes of this essay, let's pretend we are members of Congress, which is both a helpful universal and a pleasant daydream. Mitch McConnell, racist walking dumpster fire held together by rubber bands and hypocrisy, is holding another Senate vote about the Affordable Care Act. The Senate committees have come up with alternate legislation, and it's just the phrase "Hahahahaha poor people amirite?" for forty straight pages. People may die if we can't convince some of the Republican Senators who voiced early opposition to the lack of "replace" in the phrase "repeal and replace" to vote differently this time around.

3. Look for Carrots and/or Sticks

Okay, so: You've accepted that the obvious appeal to humanity won't work, because the listener is a jerkfaced jerk. But they're a jerkfaced jerk who has a thing you need. Now what?

Here's where the first thing I mentioned becomes really important--because figuring out what is going to be effective requires an understanding of what motivates that person. Please note that I am not adding my voice to the chorus of white people saying that everything will be fine if we just give white supremacists more empathy, which I believe is a dangerous and inherently racist model of thought. But in order to advocate, you need to know what a carrot and/or a stick would look like for this person, because everybody has their own carrot and stick--and you can bet that a racist callow person's stick and carrot probably don't look like yours. (Pull your mind out of the gutter and stay with me here.)

To continue the example above, let's talk about what would constitute a relevant carrot and stick for your average Republican Senator. Let's assume the carrot probably looks like money, or political capital. The stick probably looks like being voted out of office.

So as we're navigating negotiation with these Senators, we need to either figure out why the ACA will save/earn them money or figure out why they should fear what their constituents will do if they accept this legislation.

4. Offer a Carrot or Raise A Stick, and Preferably One that You Believe

This is another hard but crucial step, because it requires you to take on this person's paradigm long enough to persuade them. It honestly does help to believe what you are saying, for several reasons. First of all, a credible argument tends to carry more weight; a thing even you don't believe is generally not that persuasive to other people. But more importantly, an argument you can accept as true helps you remember is that speaking this person's language doesn't mean you hold their values, or that you agree with them--it just means you need something from them and you have to figure out how to coalition-build in order to make that happen. It's helping them figure out why they want to do this thing you want them to do anyway.

Let's go back to our Poor People Amirite Replacement Plan vote. Though I'm generally a carrot person by personality and trade, in this instance I think the stick is easier to argue. Preserving the ACA probably will not save these Senators money, but constituents relying on the ACA will not be happy to see their health insurance evaporate--even if they currently don't know it. Elaborating on that is where the advocacy starts, and ideally is the vehicle by which change happens. Awesome and canny Senators that we are, we talk with the folks who are already wavering about why their instincts are good and this move is risky. We note their specific reelection dates. We note how long it would take the ACA to be effectively repealed. We observe how close the end date will be to their campaign season. We heroically refrain from yelling at them. We generally try to persuade them that their scary inhuman boss won't even be their boss in two years if they do this now. In an ideal world, we are successful.

5. Take Care of Yourself After the Rinse/Repeat Cycle Ends

Most people's minds aren't changed in a single five-minute session; it takes a lot of work and internal screaming and fantasizing about shaking them by the shoulders. This process is hard on a person, and appropriate self-care should be treated as a necessary step. Do what you need to do in order to stay healthy, and that tends to be different things for different people. I encourage you to think of self-care as the final step of the advocacy process, because it's that crucial.

To wrap up, let's talk about final steps in the Congress scenario. After several grueling hours of arguing convinces my Republican colleagues to vote against the bill, I am tired and hungry. So I reward myself. By eating their share of the vote-o-rama pizza.

#advocacy #self care #people are sometimes horrible #politics #empathy #advocating to callous listeners

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