#ava doesnt know what gender is

[c-kiddo]

happy pride month to ùna (trans nb intersex lesbian swag) and to ava (she doesnt know whats happening shes a creature. swag)

#kiddo say #ava doesnt know what gender is #but she kinda wants to be a girl #technically ùna is also a creature but less-so. also i did some arts i rly like of her so maybe ill post them #ive been in ùna mode. #also ava too but. ùna in ma brain

[daisychainsandbowties]

It doesnt matter which AU or gender identity, Ava is a total simp for Beatrice, thats just a fact

what i love about writing ava is (everything) but also god yes how absolutely incredible it is to write her when she’s looking at bea. when she’s in the same room or the same galaxy, when they’re laying on the sofa in a spaceship talking about a spider book or when bea’s crawling in through her bedroom window after an escaped pokemon.

i think ava in general is such a delight to write 🥰💖 everyone knows i like her with lilith too, and maybe most of all with bea and lilith, but i also just love ava. i would love her if she was a worm

she’s maybe the character of all time to me m. it doesn’t matter if she’s a little lost jedi or a chess prodigy or a child of poseidon or if she’s bea’s homoerotic bodyguard boyfriend or if she’s a fucking space probe - if ava’s a girl or a boy or neither or both or nobody’s fucking business actually - i think she’s beautiful and luminous and she reminded me back in 2020 that i could feel joy again, that i could kiss my reflection and run on the beach. that i could get the girl and i could fall very gently in love in the middle of a not-so-gentle world.

so yeah 🤝 no matter what, ava is someone i’ll never get tired of writing because her perspective reminds me that you can lose so much time to hatred & fear & accident & neglect and you can still come back again and again and there’s always something out there, always the next sunrise, always the next time you open your eyes or your mouth or touch sand or kiss someone. it’s the way she comes alive with a scream and the way she walks toward death with her head held high because she loves, and is loved, and knows that she’s worthy of it

#anon #love her love her love her 🥰🥰 #warrior nun #ava silva #this is kind of like. yes to shipping but also ava’s just incredible that’s why s1 is my favourite of the two #ava ava ava ava ava 😘🥰🥰💖💖💖💖 #i’m too tired to proofread you have to imagine this is flawless okay 🥺🥺

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

I know we talk alot about Ava being comfortable in his body, but what are things transmasc/genderfluid!Ava would get dysphoric about? It doesnt even have to be only physical stuff, are there certain pet names or phrases/words he doesnt want to be called? And, when/if they are in a relationship how does Beatrice help Ava with his dysphoria?

It's an interesting question. And I think the genuine answer is that it's complicated. On most days, I feel like he doesn't have any issues. He's self-assured and comfortable in his presentation, so if he encounters issues, they are mostly incidental.

He doesn't like having vaginal sex performed on him. It's complicated because when he's wearing a strap then the stimulation is still part of it, and he will sometimes wear a strap that has an internal attachment, but that’s it. He doesn't like his partners touching him that way.

Apart from that 🤔, I think he has mixed feelings about words like pretty, cute etc. It's a non-issue with his partners because they have to respect his gender before he pursues them, but if someone random happens to call him pretty, even in a completely benign way, it can make him uncomfortable and insecure.

And I think he feels insecure about the fact that at the beginning of our story, he hasn't started on T. Part of it is because he's mostly comfortable with his body as is, and the other big part is financial. Most of his money each month goes to basic survival and the Diego Fund, so he just doesn't have enough savings to add consistent hormone therapy into his budget. I think he's encountered some people who accused him of faking because he isn't on T, and while he hides it well, that anxiety simmers just beneath the surface.

Beatrice is a breath of fresh air in so many ways, not just because she validates him but also because she is openly and rabidly attracted to him. He doesn't have to worry about misunderstandings, special factors, or qualifiers with her. She just wants him as he is, and keeps wanting him after the one night stand ends. He's been too scared to look for a serious relationship, and she eases those fears. She's someone he can really confide in outside of Diego and Chanel, and that means everything to him.

#warrior nun #t boy ava au #anon ask

[gutsfics]

11, 30, 34, 36, and 39 from the relationship asks

yay thank u 💞🩷💖💕

11. Which member is more physically affectionate

Avalon x Thomas - Avalon is more likely to initiate, but Thomas will reciprocate immedeatly

Devi x Noah - both. do Not separate them.

Harper x Tom - Harper, but only by a little bit

Baxter x Rafael - Rafael, but he makes sure that Baxter can handle any sort of physical contact. usually he waits for them to approach him

Simon x Wes x Ezra - its pretty even between Simon and Ezra. Wes isn't one to initiate at random like the other two, but he does know exactly when they need it from him

Reigan & Tobias - listen just because Reigan is asexual and completely uninterested in sex doesnt mean he doesn't love a good cuddle. theyre about even, but their limits are in different places

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.) im excluding mouth & the peenids area for "its too obvious" reasons

Avalon x Thomas - all over the everywhere. you KNOW Avalon loves to pepper Thomas with kisses the second they see each other. He especially loves to kiss Thomas' top surgery scars when he has access to them. and Thomas likes to kiss Avalon's hands and fingertips

Devi x Noah - Devi likes to kiss Noah on the neck, and Noah likes to kiss Devi's nose

Harper x Tom - they both like to kiss each other on the cheek, although Harper Will blow a raspberry against Tom's

Baxter x Rafael - Rafael likes kissing Baxter on the forehead, and Baxter likes kissing Rafael on the knuckles

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Wes likes hugging them both from behind and kissing the back of their necks or shoulders, Ezra kisses the side of their temples, and Simon kisses jaws

Reigan & Tobias - they kiss each other's cheeks in greeting but thats about it lol Reigan isn't a kissy guy

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Avalon x Thomas - Avalon has used every single pet name known to man for Thomas, but Darlin is like. the default one he uses for every occasion. Thomas calls Avalon Ava, and sometimes Bear

Devi x Noah - i mean besides Devi being a nickname of DeVante, not really. sometimes Devi might use a cutesy pet name but not often

Harper x Tom - Harper also uses a shitton of pet names for Tom, but all of them he makes up on the spot and he's never used the same one twice. and Tom will call Harper his sea monster <3

Baxter x Rafael - they're Babs and Raf to each other and (a few) others (not many other people call Baxter "Babs" though. Tobias started that), but also Rafael calls Baxter sweetheart a lot

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Simon and Ezra are Si and Ez, and Wes is just Wes. Ezra also uses codenames for them if he ever talks about them on stage, but idk what they would be yet

Reigan & Tobias - Tobias calls Reigan by his original Korean name, Sungwon, and Sungwon calls him Toby

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

Avalon x Thomas - rcd: Avalon met Thomas' parents during their first relationship, his parents wanted to try to make amends but they weren't very good at gendering him correctly so he brought Avalon for support. it wasm't a super good experience but at least Thomas was able to get a little closure for himself. and while Avalon's parents knew about Thomas, they didn't meet him until their second time in a relationship. Thomas and Avalon visit Texas like once a year to see Avalon's family

hwu: like canon, at Rachel's wedding. Avalon met Simon before though. as for Thomas meeting Avalon's family..........

Devi x Noah - they knew each other since they were in grade school, they always knew each others family

Harper x Tom - i mean. after the start of ILB it's not like there's much family for Tom to meet, and he already knew half of it lol lmao [sobbing]. and Harper meets Tom's family after the events of ILW, once things have settled down. he was supposed to meet them sooner but uuuuum. Events and Happenings <3

Baxter x Rafael - just like in canon, Rafael takes Baxter to meet his family before theyre even dating <3 and Baxter is no contact w their family so i don't know that Rafael ever meets then. maybe i'll write a fic about it but no prommies

Simon x Wes x Ezra - they went to high school together, this just happens. i do need to write a fic about what happened when Wes' dad came to town and that date quest ended on a cliffhanger >:/

Reigan & Tobias - Reigan met Tobias' parents by chance bc they all live in New York City, i dont fully know the details yet? but i do know that Tobais' parents were trying to set him up w This Handsome Lawyer They Know and he agreed to the date to get them to stop asking about it. Reigan was unaware it was supposed to be a date at first, but bc theyre both aromantic they decided to keep "dating" to get both sets of parents off their backs about it lol

and Tobias met Reigan's parents on a trip to his hometown. the purpose of the trip was "See I DO Have A Boyfriend Please Stop Asking"

39. What other couple would your otp get along with the best?

Avalon x Thomas - Janey and her wife Bill. in both hwu and rcd. Avalon and Janey friendship is a canon event.

Devi and Noah get along best with Harper and Tom <3

Baxter and Rafael get along best with Reigan and Tobias

Simon x Wes x Ezra - Lisa and Aria. Lisa and Ezra regularly go on tour together, & they all hang out together a lot when not on tour as well

#oc: Avalon Hammond #oc: Devfield #oc: Harper Vance #oc: Dr Baxter Lucafont #oc: Simon Klein #oc: Reigan Lee #Red Carpet Diaries #Hollywood U #Thomas Hunt #Open Heart #Rafael Aveiro #It Lives In The Woods #Noah Marshall #It Lives Beneath #Tom Sato #High School Story Prime #High School Story #Wes Porter #Ezra Mitchell #Tobias Carrick

[quarantinescarpet]

My quotes list from over the years

FRESHMAN

-“‘tis I the frenchiest fry.”

-“Someone’s stabbing me in the leg with a spork.”

-“I A DEMOCRAT OOPS”

-Spill the pony tea.

-How many geese would it take to bring down a full grown man?

-Point is, I love you both and I would 10/10 ride a motorbike

-“Apparently someone in Mr. Hopkins G block got scared of turkey noises.”

-“It’s like... it’s like a stupid game of Russian roulette Tetris with giant death machines”

-“I feel like you'd have a shrine to remember Spider-man, complete with candles and every single ‘mr stark I don't feel so good’ meme printed out.”

-“don’t ask me, I don’t know anything about the sex”

-“I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF”

-“What’s the difference between gay silence and regular silence?”

-“what yields a focus pencil? A patience tree?”

-“I might boogie on the desk so hard that the gum keeping it together gets unchewed and yeets back into the dimension it belongs in”

-“You smell like my fencing teacher”

-“sponsor a sponsor! Become a child”

-“Woof woof bitch, im a furry.”

-“yo to the hoe”

-“does my emoji still smell?”

SOPHOMORE

-“peter doesn't have a detachable head”

-“two thirds of me is wearing glasses”

-“You look like you have autism. Are you vaccinated?”

-“When did Haydar become friends with Emily?” “In hell”

-“I know you have something to do with Filbert”

-“Ayo beans check”

-“Who cares about beating the game‽ I���m a goose.”

-“You can’t make contact lenses out of cranberries”

-“cannabalism is for beans”

-“You know the party is lit when the epileptic kid starts doing the worm”

-“Imagine getting stabbed to the beastie boys”

-“I CANT TORTILLA MY CHOCOLATE MILK”

-“Pure drip”

-“The All Mighty King Tuggle Wuggle the Original... The 5th”

-“It’s a drink.” “Coal?” “I’m sorry who the heck is drinking coal??” “It’s heroin.”

-“Is climate change good or bad?”

-“I’ve had to keep her from stealing my toes for so long”

-“Apples are delicious, babies are not.”

-“It’s like I’m exfoliating my knuckle”

-“We are literally just birds.”

-“I’m slowly transitioning to emo. Today I’m wearing navy blue, tomorrow it will be black.”

-“Omg Aimee why are you such a try hard” “Oh my god Ava why are you orange?”

-“Wait what the fuck does crashing a funeral have to do with driving?”

-“Why are blonde people driving???”

-“That house looks like stephen king” “its super thicc?”

-“If you don’t do your homework, they are legally allowed to steal your cells”

-“Why would digging up graves be a problem we have to cover during a spa day??”

-“I would commit neck rape”

-“he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like ‘genocide’”

-“like Klaus, from Klaus”

-“SANKADANKA”

-“facism is also gender neutral”

-“I mean we all knew that the birds just wanted the body to be gone!”

JUNIOR

-“you know what they say in chemistry”

-“I got it from bed bath and behind you”

-“A two line poem. I see a frog. My heart: 💕❤️💓💗💕”

-“who needs a straw when you can suck it out the hole?”

-“I wish I could get neutered”

-“eggs are so well named”

-“You’re not a fandon? We don’t standon.”

-“If you’re horny just walk it off”

-“potatoes and molasses, there is inequality between the classes!”

-“save the tiddies”

-“I think I could explain socialism” “okay do it” *doesnt do it*

-“what part of no interruptions does Trump not get?” “The english part”

-“my knees how they crackle like rice crispies”

-“the planet is dying you fucking walnut”

-“do you think I’d be able to avoid conversion therapy?” ”no you look dumb as shit have fun at camp.”

-“the US military uses 738 billion dollars per year, and we can’t dunk the moon into the pacific ocean? Where are our priorities? Disgusting.”

-“I hope he dies on my birthday”

-“the doctor’s sewing you up and you’re like ‘harder daddy’ and they just leave you to bleed out on the floor.”

-“I don’t know what your parents do for a living” “I’d have to kill you if you found out” “oh he’s a conversion therapist?”

-“Peaning, pregnancy, protection.”

-“Being railed and math are two totally different things”

-“Aren’t all white people just german strokes?“

-“the pickles are tasty tonight, don’t you think?”

-"Gay people have feelings too! I mean those feelings aren't valid, but they have them!"

-“Grapefruit is the Wild Kratts of roblox”

-“My lungs are rejecting christianity”

-“Lettuce cereal”

-“get zooted”

-“why are they doin that to my boi Eric Snowblower???” “... do you mean Elric Stormbringer??” “Yes OMG hi futon”

-“Milk towel (sent with gentle effect)“

-“nose haemorrhoids”

-“my favourite colour is bitches”

-“THE LESBIAN FISH WHATS HER NAME”

-“You’ll have time to pull moose daddy”

-“The more you beat it the bigger it gets”

-“Were you wa today??”

-“oh uh slaves are now horses”

-“tarnsgender is a lifestyle”

-“not me misgendering my dishwasher”

-“Kiss! Kiss Kiss!”

-“its a regular human but you can open it up and take a shit inside of it” “like a kangaroo”

-“kiss kill marry, good piss boy, eric snowblower, michael”

-“if you don’t wanna strike the set, strike yourself.”

-“did you listen to waterparks in middle school or have you had sex?”

-“he said his pullout game is strong and he’s only used a condom six times” “tell him he needs the practice”

-“its a didney movie”

-“I already have a dick so I’m good with the foot sucking, thanks!”

-“I don’t misgender you cause you changed your pronouns I just misgender you cause you have pronouns”

-“made a joke and nobody laughed”

-“You’re a socialist gray shut up”

-“dont straddle my dog shes a child!”

-“chloe, kim, kendall, kourtney,,, the genders”

-“which constellation looks most like a dick”

-“I’m being intimate with my pudding. Only my pudding loves me.” “Yeah but it feels a little violated”

-“vending machine, easy bake oven, and ramen are the four food groups?”

-“mom I found your tinder”

-“doesnt this baby look like it would grow up to be hitler?”

-“anti smack”

-“I said no farting”

-“I’m at the point in this trip where I want to make out a little with every dog I see.”

-“I’m worried about your mom right now” “I’m worried about the dogs”

-“I’m going to start streaming” “awesome I’ll watch you! I’ll download Tinder”

-“jesus is coming are you clenching?” “Did you mean swallowing???”

-“Today when I said I had an image to show you and you came to look at my phone I wasn’t on Instagram yet and I was worried you were going to see that my last google search was what is a craisin”

-“My username is deep_seated_fear_of_geese”

-“Savour the flavour, uncle”

-“potential energy this, kinetic energy that, when will anyone start paying attention to the most important energy. dumb bitch energy”

-“Happy easter i guess i don’t know why the heck jesus likes eggs so much” “Jesus has an egg obsession” “And he has a bunny fursona””

-“Cause I’m kinky for color coding”

-“I’m going to name my child Brad. With a silent gh. Braghd”

-“Headcanon that Prince Philip died because he saw unsolicited feet pics“

-“I kin prince philip”

-“theres three genders: kailer, gay tyler, and regular tyler”

-“I swear to god they spent half of their budget making those titans asses so scrumptious”

-“Everything is terrible, can’t magnum dong, repressing my emotions”

-“Master has given dobby plan b. Dobby no longer needs the hanger”

-“I want someone to be just as obsessed with me as my social worker is”

-“You wanted to end the conversation so you decided to be homophobic.”

-“It is commonly thought that there are two types of people in this world, communists and pessimists.”

-“Glass half full glass half empty everyone shares the glass”

-“I thought it was about to be something sexual about slushees and I was like: 😃?“

-“Piss on, I know how to have sex.”

-“Sarah we’re making milf jokes wake up”

-“Its like im having a panic attack but I cant stop making kink jokes”

-“good old fashioned jesus?” “I said gay sex”

-“the straggot and the slurs”

-“grandpa has had way too much time without his meds”

-“You’re gonna find ur special someone bro ❤️ or someone to raw you idk what you’re into”

-“Do you wanna represent conversion therapy?”

-“Don’t punch me! I’ll get a boner”

-“I’m known to frequent elementary schools at night”

-“ever since I found out there were ants in baked beans” “WHY ARE THEY THERE? JUST BAKE THE BEANS!”

-"aaron burr shot hamilton which is kinda kinky and im not into that" "i guess he forgot to give him his safe word then huh"

-“we can’t make these jokes tomorrow people will think we’re fucking crazy” “nah man people will just think we’re FUCKING”

-“this 14 year old just looked me straight in the eyes and said drill me daddy-o”

-“they piss on you when they’re comfortable with you. Thats how it works”

-“are penguins fish or mammals?”

-“car washes are traumatising”

-“it’s okay gray has a 22 year old sugar daddy”

-“I get vored easily and yeehaw”

-“You get really stinky when jade honks for bill”

-“Jade needs a shit sleeve when she honks for bill can we go dunky now”

-“not the llama,,, the liQuid”

-“I’m allergic to jesus”

-“if you cant see stuff in your head how come you can vacuum?”

-“dont be a whore drink instead”

-“pain is temporary, existence is temporary, we’re all temporary”

-“I did not know veggie tales was religious”

-“you’re a sussy baka yes sorry now can we watch the video”

-“I assumed everyone in tech is gray”

-“skyrim wasn’t bad I just wanted fussy”

-“im not gonna get a shrodinger kink”

-“those crocs are bitchin”

-“you seem so put together” “it’s just the shoes”

-“capitalism is my sugar daddy”

-“when aang is riding someone do you think he says yip yip

-“Capitalism breeds innovation? How bout you breed this bussy”

Senior

-“Ollie: Can Jewish people eat the Lorax?

Jillian: Yeah. He is canonically a Nazi you know

Ollie: …Are you implying that nazis are kosher?

Jillian: Yeah how do you think we won the war dumbass”

-“I wanna get manhandled”

-“chryssy is SO thicc. Thats why benson loves her.”

-“are we still meeting autism?”

-“so what im hearing is you stole my prostate??”

-"Benson doesnt have a liver? What about her alcoholism problems!”

-“do [squirrels] have beaks or are they flat?”

-“ I feel like I’d fall into a pond.”

-“I didn’t come”

-“Cis piss”

-“YOU GRABBED HIS JICK?”

-“Everytime I come out as ace people send me all their ace stuff” “omg thats what I do for my italian friends”

-“I wanna be someones thyroid problem”

-“Yeah you could go to bobby about your skin cancer”

-“I feel really pregnant right now”

-“stomachs love diluted slim jims”

-“benson is a milf”

-“aj just gave birth to me” “how?” “teamwork”

-“the universe is nothing but a collection of corpses”

-“tight shaggy”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk moustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk mustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“Mr. Hands is my safe-word”

Freshman pt 2

-“nah this isn’t true love this is smash or pass man”

-“the more swords the more smash”

-“virgin??? Like VIRGINIA??”

-“He’s really going ham on him”

[lgbtqlegends]

do you have any trans legends headcanons? I know a common one is trans guy Nate, but do you have any others?

oh, dear anon. you have Certainly come to the right place here. mod choco and i can make pretty much Any legend trans. it is a super power.

-okay so i know you asked for others besides trans guy nate, but i do feel like i have to at least mention him here because. he is a Classic and i love him. so. consider him mentioned, although he may make small appearances throughout the rest of this

-another one that choco and i really love is trans woman ava. we just. think that she's neat. and also we super love to add an extra layer to ava and nate's already great friendship by making them both trans because bonding!! (we just really love the legends bonding okay)

-i also super super love to headcanon spooner as nonbinary and using she/they pronouns. or maybe even they/she 👀👀

-okay okay genderqueer sara is also super neat. i don't think that sara is like. super commonly headcanon-ed as genderqueer, but i read like a queer pride fic challenge on ao3 that featured genderqueer sara occasionally and i loved the idea so.

-another good one is trans guy snart, as well as trans guy ray. mod choco and i really can just. make every legend trans if we try hard enough lmao

-also charlie is like super super genderfluid and/or nonbinary, and i'm kinda surprised it took me this long on the ask to mention them. i mean. come on. they're a shapeshifter. that's about as trans as it gets folks. charlie is Always Always Always genderfluid anytime they appear in our fics and honestly. i don't think i know how Not to think of them as genderfluid/nonbinary lmao

-demigirl mona. when we first got this ask, choco and i had a brief conversation that basically just. consisted of us rattling off all the legends we could make trans for this ask lmao. mona was one of them.

-zari gives. exactly 0 shits. so she just kinda rolls with whatever, and they don't really. have a preference about pronouns and none of them bothers her at all so. john Also gives 0 fucks so he also really just. rolls with whatever. actually. he rolls with whatever as long as it serves some kind of comedic and/or dramatic purpose. because john is just. That BitchTM

-also i really love trans woman astra. very very good soup. her style is Impeccable

-although he was only a legend for a very short amount of time, wally is def afab nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns. i love nonbinary wally, my beloved.

-oh oh oh behrad Also uses he/they pronouns. he really likes the freedom and fluidity it gives him.

-also. trans guy gary too. 100%

-okay i'm gonna be honest. I'm not really sure if you wanted me to just. list a bunch if legends and what our headcanons were in terms of. gender and transness. or if you wanted me to like. Expand on them more but. if nothing else you at least have a long list of new legends to ponder as trans. i will however try to expand a little bit, although mostly like. as a group so just. for these next few headcanons, assume that everyone I've listed is. on the ship and also trans lmao

-they all bond over some of the shared experiences that can come with being trans, and sometimes they like to sit around and share their individual experiences too because they find it fascinating and also kinda find it funny that so many of them are trans lmao

-they also try to help each other out with like. any medications that any of them might take, like HRT or smth, because some of them can also be very forgetful n stuff too and also just like. they all get caught up in superhero life on the ship sometimes, so it really helps that there are just. So Many of them to keep each other in check and be like "hey have you done this thing that you need to do yet?" and they all really really love each other for that

-trans jokes are made Constantly. all the time. sometimes the person who makes the joke doesnt even realize they've said it until everyone else around them bursts out laughing

-they also really like to help each other in the case of dysphoria, or just any type of discomfort, cause most if not all of them know what it's like in some capacity. it's not entirely uncommon for a lot of them to be gathered in one of the common areas of the ship, crowded with blankets and pillows and some stuffies and their comfort hoodies and try to help each other feel better

mod choco and i: forget about "i can fix them/i can make them worse". we can make them Trans

#nate heywood #ava sharpe #spooner cruz #sara lance #leonard snart #ray palmer #charlie clotho #mona wu #zari tomaz #john constantine #astra logue #wally west #behrad tarazi #gary green #trans legends #legends of tomorrow #headcanons #headcanon prompts

[normal-thoughts-official]

Omg I remembered being upset about Lucas story but I was also not paying that much attention because he (accidentally) misgenders Andy at the beginning and I was just like 🔪🔪🔪🔪 catch this hands, for a few chapters (which looking back maybe maybe I took it too personal because a few months later I had a gender crisis hahahshs gender is hard) , also I was romancing Andy, Ava and Stacy <3

oh ur valid. honestly i always forget that part happens because it was so?????? choices blease u dont have to introduce a character being trans by having a random accidental misgendering (that doesnt even make much sense cuz andy's been out for a long time, like, cmon). i dont hold it against lucas because i think he handled it well - he apologized and didnt do it again and didnt try to make excuses and he seemed genuinely sorry so its not like he was Evil, but also like ur valid fjdndidnd especially if it was sensitive for u at the time, u know? and i would have definitely understood if andy had been more upset at him, too

but it was hard to me not to relate to lucas as well because his plotline hits sooo hard to me. my parents arent crazy like his but i always felt the pressure to do everything and be Perfect and thats how i burnt out at 18 and got into a huge depression slump for a year lmao. plus hes latino so theres that. and hes just... such a cute and fun dork. also canonically bi! thats hard to come by, esp in choices where they seem to think having ur LI even look at someone not ur MC's gender is a crime or some shit. anne ways

but even if i didnt like lucas i just cant let that plotline go, as an educator. like holy shit, what happened to him was awful and it was the school's (and his family's) fault, not his. the whole book treats it like lucas has done some terrible immoral thing but what he was doing is no different from self harm. it was making him anxious, affecting his health, his sleep, his wellbeing, and he was doing it because the circumstances made him feel like he had to to be able to perform. and somehow hes the bad guy who needs to Repent for this awful mistake?????

like this is such an awful victim blaming plotline and its such bullshit and its all so no one will question such an awful school system that literally pushes children beyond their limit until they break and puts academic performance and competition above all else. like as a teacher if i found out a single one of my students was taking focus pills to keep up with the pressure i would cry my eyes out, then fucking raise hell with administration until we got them the support they needed AND rethought the curriculum organization so the pressure would be lower and it didnt happen again. one student sacrificing their health for school is one too many

like when i got to that part i just started crying immediately because GOD id fucking kms if i found out i or the organization i work for was doing this to our students. and i fully expected mr cooper to get him help?????? like especially with his whole speech about the shaky hands and trouble sleeping, i was like Obviously this kid is a victim of the meat grinding capitalist school system and as an educator mr cooper will want to get him psychological help. INSTEAD he was like lucas I will get you expelled and call tje lolcueBDHDBDUDBD CALLING THE POLICE ON A BROWN STUDENT BECAUSE HE WAS SELF MEDICATING ARE YOU KIDDING ME. and then i expected choices to have us be like "lucas im so sorry this happened to you" but instead all the options were super judgy and clearly taking "lucas is in the wrong" as the premise of it all I WANTED TO DIE

and its suuch a dangerous message to send ppl like u r literally naturalizing victim blaming with that shit and it's all so no one questions why the school system is making literal KIDS burn out in high school anyway. and we could have had such an amazing plotline discussing how this is a systemic issue in a society that puts ppl at constant competition with each other and is demanding more and more productivity until everyone's mental health breaks. and we could even have a discussion about how racism plays into this and how as a brown student lucas knew he had to be perfect and have a spotless record and be the best out of everyone to get a shot at an academic life and couldn't afford to have a single spot in his record (much less a drug-related one as a latino) because he knew thatd be the end for him. instead we got............... victim blaming. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Im okay. im okay. im fine. i am FINE

anyway

but also ur valid <3 i like stacy but i was never interested in her as a LI, like her interactions with MC felt kinda bland to me? like not romantically appealing, idk. i think at least part of that is because i played with a male MC so his interactions with stacy just felt like.... idk bland heterosexuality? i definitely cared for her and wanted to help her but i couldnt ship her with MC, so yeah, it was andy ava and lucas for me didnfif

#it lives #it lives in the woods #ilitw #lucas thomas #sidenote why is his last name thomas what kind of latino has thomas as a last name #anti stacy green #its not anti her but u know #misgendering tw #drugs tw #cops tw #self harm tw #just to be sure #racism tw

[spacesnaill]

Atlas, Pandora, & Ava + school

all of the trios relationship with school is just plain complicated because of the sheer amount of cycles they’ve gone through both in and outside of the school setting

atlas: depending on which iteration you’d ask, the answers vary. most likely he won’t be sure about his future either way. probably believes that whole schooling system is kind of busted but doesnt exactly have any answers on how to make it better. his feelings on the school tm experience are very mixed because while one of the happiest cycles he experienced Have been set in a high school, he also knows how it affected the others and highkey is ready to throw down with every person in that world

pandora: now, her experiences in general tend to be more negative because of how the author uses her in their stories. when she thinks of school she mostly remembers the bullying and the constant unease that came with her troubles with presenting as the gender she identifies with. she would stress about the future a lot even though she was relatively good at school. she does however hold a certain high school cycle close to her heart and think of it fondly, but not because of what was happening at the school.

ava: her relationship with school is the hardest to pin point because she views her experience through the lense of a fictional character. she doesnt really see the point in school other than meeting with friends and maybe drama. she is kinda a delinquent, yknow.

#ask #friends #paper limbo #pandora #ava #atlas

[dissonants-13]

Prompt 25: “If I leave now, I won’t come back.” For any ILITW character that inspires you

Thank you for playing non! I hope you like it xx

If anyone would like to make a request, prompt list is here: break yo heart

Story Details: Angst, angst, angst. Lucas x MC, Lucas x Stacy if you squint. I’ve used the generic name Devon for MC, but I’ve used they/them as dear nonny didn’t specify a gender. Dark themes, mental health issues. 

‘I Wont Come Back’

Before

“Devon!” Lucas says, for the fourth time,raising his voice a little now. It’s halftime, the last game of the regularseason, and the cheerleaders are doing a routine - but nothing so interestingthat Devon would be that engrossed. Dan is standing on the side line,open-mouthed beneath a stream of Gatorade, and when he’s satisfied, he wipeshis mouth on the back of his sleeve and tosses the bottle back to the waterboy, before leading his team down the race to the locker rooms.

“What?” Devon finally says, turning to look atLucas.

“Finally! What planet are you on?” Lucas asks, tappingDevon’s forehead and half-expecting to hear a hollow sound. “Do you want somefood?”

Devon shakes their head absently, wrapping theirarms around themselves as if to hold all their pieces together. Lucas isfamiliar with the posture. He’s also familiar with Devon’s standard ‘no’ answerto food, and, eyeing their jutting collarbone, resolves to get an extra dim simanyway. 

He pushes and shoulders his way through themilling crowd to the food trucks, and he lines up, his mind still on Devon.They’ve been together for quite a while now, since before Noah; a relationshipforged in the fire of the whole Redfield issue. Over the last year, everyonehad scattered; Lucas and Stacy to college, Andy and Dan repeating senior year,Lily working as a teacher’s aide, and Ava working at the library and running ahealing herbs business out of Pritch’s old place. Devon stuck aroundWestchester to heal and take stock, but since the one year memorial, that wholeprocess had seemed to crash a little.

Lucas pays and takes his food back to thebleachers, where Devon is still staring into space. More often than not thesedays, this is how Devon is, even when Lucas is home from college. The weightloss, the clear depression - which Devon does not want to talk about -the distraction, all of that Lucas can deal with. What he’s struggling with isthe abyss of distance that’s opened up between them; Lucas feels like he’salways reaching to Devon across the darkness, and getting absolutely nothing inreturn.

He’s tried to say how it all makes him feel, butDevon just doesn’t really get it. All the guilt and sadness in the wake ofNoah’s betrayal and sacrifice is enough to deal with - Devon just doesn’t seemto comprehend how all the little manifestations of pain in their life harmsLucas and their relationship. How it feels like Devon doesn’t care, becausethey never ask how Lucas’ day was, when he always asks after Devon’s.How much it hurts when Devon doesn’t even notice Lucas anymore, not even whenhe strolls in, naked as the day he was born and gleaming after a shower. Howdevastating it is when Lucas is always trying to help, and Devon gives himnothing back. They can’t talk about Devon’s feelings. They can’t talk aboutwhat happened. Every day just feels like mounting moments of things leftunsaid, and Lucas is worried about Devon coping, but he’s also exhausted fromfeeling like he’s the only one putting all the effort in.

After the game, the gang wants to hang outbecause everyone is back in town, and the Wolves won, and they so rarely get tobe together for the happy moments now that everyone is doing their own thing.Devon doesn’t want to go; Lucas watches their lips press together and theirhead shake slowly, firmly shutting down Stacy and Lily’s pleading.

So Lucas goes out with the gang alone, and forthe first time in a while, it’s kind of like a weight is off his shoulders.

After

“It’s like guilt, warring with a sense offreedom,” Lucas sighs, rubbing his tired eyes and stirring his coffee.

Stacy hums an agreeable noise and eyes Lucasclosely. “But how are you doing?” She carefully avoids the ‘are you okay?’ lineof questioning, and Lucas both blames and thanks her Intro to AbnormalPsychology class for making her so good at interrogating him. He has absolutelyno doubt that Stacy will be literally the worlds best criminal psychologist,and it’s only partly because she already has an innate ability to see straightthrough everyone’s bullshit.

“It’s hard,” Lucas admits. “Every day is hard.But..” he stops, breathing deeply, and the words die in his throat.

“But what?” Stacy asks, lacing their fingerstogether. There’s no hesitation. No doubt or space between them. It’s easy.

Lucas pushes his glasses up the bridge of hisnose with his free hand and eyes her. “But…I haven’t shut everyone out atleast.”

Before

The night that finally breaks Lucas is hisbirthday. It’s not just that Devon seems to have forgotten all day and onlysays happy birthday when Lucas’ phone dings with a steady stream of birthdaymessages over dinner (which he picked up and bought with him to Devon’s house).It’s not just that it’s painfully obvious immediately that Devon didn’t get hima present. It’s not just that for weeks Devon has been noncommittal to allLucas’s ideas; movies, bowling, dinner at a nice restaurant, none of it. Andit’s not just that when the gang arrives, ready to take Lucas out, that Devonflat refuses to go. It’s all of that, and more.

It’s the missing affection, which he givesDevon, but he doesn’t get in return.

It’s the fact that Devon won’t even tryto let him in.

It’s the fact that Lucas is putting in allthe effort and getting a brick wall in return.

It’s that Devon would rather write letters toNoah that never get sent, because he’s dead, than talk to Lucas, wholoves Devon and wants to help.

And Lucas is sick of it. The guilt isoverwhelming, but Lucas is just so exhausted of the whole thing. He can’t holdDevon and himself up anymore, he can’t drag Devon out of the darkness without anyhelp. He doesn’t want to end things, but he can’t ignore how he feels anymore.He needs to take care of himself.

And so, with all their friends watching and hot,prickling tears in his eyes, he says; “Are you really not going to come?”

Devon curls up on the couch, in that samehugged, defensive position. “No. I don’t want to.”

Lucas feels someone, maybe Lily, touch hisshoulder gently, but he shrugs them off. “Then you know this is it?” he says, alittle harsher than intended. “If I leave now, I won’t come back.”

Devon slowly meets his eye, lips pressedtogether. It strikes Lucas then that all the warmth is gone from Devon’s browneyes. There’s nothing left but emptiness and maybe the slightest hint ofregret.

“Then go,” Devon says, with an air of finalitythat makes even Andy suck in a shocked breath.

By the time they get to Dan’s car, Lucas knowshe’s crying openly, but it still hurts and he can’t hide that. He gaveeverything to someone who was lost to a dead man, and forces none of them couldcontrol.

“We don’t have to go out,” Ava says gently, andif Ava Cunningham thought the situation didn’t need any snark then things weredire indeed.

“No, we do,” Lucas snaps, getting into the frontseat. “The last thing I need is to turn into Devon.”

They pile in behind him, half in Dan’s car, andthe other half in Lily’s. Stacy sits behind Lucas, and halfway into town, hefeels her squeeze his shoulder gently. He lowers the window, and, for the firsttime in months, he can breathe again.

After

It’s after midnight, and his suite is quiet andstill when Lucas gets the call. It’s Andy, full of panic and grief, and Lucasalready knows what’s happened before the news even comes.

“It’s Devon - parents found - nothing - just getto the hospital-”

Lucas drives there in a stupor, through thenight, to the hospital at Westchester, but Dan intercepts him in the lobby.Lucas melts into Dan’s strong arms and vice-like hold, letting Dan take all theweight of his world for a moment. Curiously, he finds he cannot cry; his jaw istight and his eyes burn, like he should be crying, but nothing comes.

“Devon’s gone mate,” Dan murmurs, in the mostDan-like of voices; deep, calming, like music you don’t hear, but feelin your soul. “It was over before the medics even got to the house.”  

“No suffering?” Lucas manages to ask, throughhis sandpaper throat.

“Like going to sleep, the doctors said,” Dananswers, holding Lucas tighter. And then, without even looking at Lucas’ faceto know, Dan says, “This is not your fault. Devon had demons none of uscould understand.”

Even still, Lucas knows the guilt and the painwill live with him forever.

After

In the years since, he’s asked for signs. He’sdowned oceans of booze, slept with scores of easy conquests, driven too fast,and purposefully listened to songs that make him cry, just to feel something.But no sign has ever come. He tries to move on, but he never goes for what hereally wants because he doesn’t want to destroy that too.

Maybe it’s a curse, he thinks. Noah had it afterJane, and Devon after Noah. The curse of being unable to let go. Redfield’slast gift.

It’s like a ball of lead that sits in his chest,weighing him down no matter how good he feels. Lucas wonders if he’ll ever notfeel the weight of what Devon did. 

He wonders right up until the moment that Lilylooks up at him, her newborn son cradled in her arms, and says, “Uncle Lucas,there’s someone here who wants to meet you.” Stacy holds his hand, and the roomis so full of emotion from all their friends, that it feels like the warmestand softest of blankets shrouding them all. Even Ava is misty-eyed, and she’smore stoic than any of them.

And he hopes again.

#ilitw #it lives in the woods #choices: it lives in the woods #choices fanfiction #prompt game #lucas thomas #stacy green #lucas x mc

[oasie]

i got tagged by the lovely @ghoustbaby!! thank you so much !!

- nicknames: i go by alaska but my identity is shifting again >__< i love it when people call me princess / angel though !!! - star sign: aquarius !! im on the capricorn cusp though - gender: im a female ! - MBTI type: i got intj in the test !! - height: 5″7 - time: 20:00 on the dot oh wow - birthday: 22nd of january - favorite bands: i honestly cant list them all. lets just say fenech soler, we the wild, oh wonder, purity ring, the wombats, etc etc - favorite solo artists: UM LOTS - last movie i watched: cure for wellness ! - last show i watched: i started re watching hannibal !! - other blogs: i have loads of saved urls but the ones i use are @schema1 (my alters blog - warning he doesnt tag), a vent blog which i will not disclose, and @lackadandelion (oc insp blog). the others are wip n stuff ! - when i created my blog: december last year apparently! but i made one long before @memorally (yes i was the original kaede like as soon as i saw her first intro) - what i post about: this blog is my aesthetic and inspo blog but also very personal and close to my heart !! i post about other things on my other blogs - last thing i googled: avas demon >__< - following: 467 - followers: 519 !!!!!!! - favorite color: i have tonnes... mint, lilac, emerald.... so many - average hours of sleep: god knows anymore - lucky number: 22 - instruments: i play guitar and bits of bass and piano !! im going to take up the cello!! - what I’m wearing: my fave sweater and shorts - how many blankets i sleep with: a big duvet and a velvet blanket - dream jobs: author / director - dream trip: i honestly dont know  - favorite food: >___< - nationality: im british but ashkenazi jew and some other stuff 

i tag @novoselik and anyone else who wants to do this !