[break yourself]
est. 2020
𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆.
// PAIRING: garfield logan and raven roth
// SYNOPSIS: where she learns suppressing her emotions & acting strong does indeed, and will inevitably come with an adverse reaction
// WARNINGS: ANGST! mental illness, mental episodes, mania, depression, suicidal thoughts.
"Raven, there's going to be a day in the future that is worse than anything you've been through."
"Arella, what do you mean?"
"As the daughter of a demon lord, you already know what was destined to happen. After that fate transpires, an even darker day, perhaps even a series of days, will arrive."
"You mean having Trigon mentally haunt me everyday, having him trying to control my life, and having to end the world for his content isn't enough?"
"I wouldn't think of it that way. Let's just say, you'll have some unfinished business. Some... ramifications to tend to."
"Like what? All hell's going to break loose again, and he's going to try and take over the world through me? Because if that's the case, I refuse to let that happen."
A pause.
"Mother... are you going to help me?"
Raven lets out a bone-chilling scream, jolting up from her bed. The city had been asleep for hours, and dawn was about to break. The oranges, golds, and other vibrant shades of the day began to pour over the dark shade of night.
Garfield was next to Raven in the bed, and he jumped up, startled from the noise she made.
"Rae!? Rae, what's the matter, why'd you scream?" his bloodshot eyes were wide.
Raven pants heavily, she felt like her lungs were going to combust. Her heart drums quickly inside of her chest, as if she just ran a marathon. Raven's nerves go into shock, and then numb— bringing her no sensitivity that could snap her out of the nightmare.
Raven's skin grows pale, her once already grey complexion becomes ghost-like. The amethyst in her eyes drain, her pupils becoming nothing more than colorless beads. Her mouth dries as her she tries to find the words that would clearly articulate the feeling she is experiencing.
"Raven, you're not saying anything. Talk to me, baby. What's going on with you? Did you have a bad dream?"
The hybrid maintains her blank stare, as well as her silence.
"The gate. The gate between Hell and Heaven." her words come out as indistinct slurs.
Raven can't even hear herself talking, but she talks.
Garfield's eyebrows bend in confusion, "What?"
"The fire started on my back. And as I walked, I tracked pools of flames, kind of like a path. By the time I got to the gate, the heat spread to my head."
She began to sweat. The perspiration drips down either side of her face, and douses her shirt at an alarming rate.
"Rae, let me get you something to drink."
The changeling zips out of the bedroom, and just as fast, he returns with a glass of water.
"Here you go." Garfield offers Raven the glass, but she completely disregards it.
He gently dabs a napkin on his partner's sweating skin as well.
"Okay, you can drop the act now, babe. Halloween was months ago."
"I see the other side. The side where... I'll stop burning. I won't feel any pain, my father will no longer be a problem to me."
Garfield slams the glass on the nightstand, then he snaps. He grips both of Raven's arms, and shakes her anxiously.
"Raven, snap out of it! You aren't acting like yourself, and it's freaking me out. Are you even listening to me!?"
"I kept falling short of Heaven. All the years I've had this dream, I kept screaming out in Hell, and no one heard me. The white light of Heaven started to tease me. Now, I can feel it..."
Every time Garfield got the slightest grip on his girlfriend, she slipped into another dark fantasy.
"Her voice. She said I'm almost home."
"Whose voice, Raven? Rae, you're scaring me." Garfield's tone weakens, as his eyes dampen.
"I can make you some tea, or read you one of your books, or we can meditate together to calm you down."
The problem was, Raven was already calm.
She wasn't yelling, she wasn't crying, her powers didn't spark, nothing was floating, or exploding, and her eyes didn't multiply or glow in white or red.
Her facial muscles were slackened, her breathing leveled out. Raven remained pale and had an absent expression, but she was peaceful.
Garfield bowed his head, exhaling deeply,
"I can't even get frustrated. I understand that you're complicated, we both are. I'm still learning about you, growing with you, all of that. But there are sometimes where I wish I could help you, like really help you. It's impossible to erase the problems you have, but I wish I could."
"I've longed for this state of peace every day of my life." she rasps, almost below a whisper.
A cracking sound made Garfield's ears tingle. It doesn't take him long to realize where the noise is coming from.
He glances at Raven's forehead, eyeing the red stone engraved on it. Her scarlet chakra; one of Garfield's favorite features of Raven's. The precious stone was centered perfectly, just below the split in her hair, and above her dark eyebrows.
The chakra did something Garfield never thought it would do.
The gem glowed, shining a blinding, white light into his eyes.
As the sun began to light the new day, Raven's chakra broke. With his eyes widened, and jaw dropped, Garfield was in too much shock to absorb what was happening.
The chakra dulled. Red fragments of stone fell onto the white linen. The ruby shards glistened in the face of the fresh sunshine, and contrasted aesthetically with the bed sheets.
Garfield commented in fright, "Raven, your stone just broke."
Raven wasn't bleeding from the fracture, or reacting to it. She wasn't paying attention to what happened at all, it was like this was natural to her. Maybe she was used to it, maybe she anticipated it, Garfield would never know.
"The light." she pointed straight ahead.
Garfield turned his head, looking at where his girlfriend was pointing. All he saw was furniture and books. At this point, he was done questioning Raven, because it was getting them nowhere.
To Raven, what she was seeing was far beyond the physical eye.
"The light. It's warming me, it's healing me. It's right there, and I..."
"I have to go to it."
with love,
Dee. 💌
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