#better than having nothing for a bit tbh

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

right. so. i meant to be writing the thasmissy fic. i did not do that but

i can explain

#hit over the head with the obsession baseball bat #hit SO hard i think i have a concussion #i might actually be more excited for the mcr us tour in 2 months than dw now this is BLASPHEMY dsfhgkjfhg #nuts this is the quickest a special interest has ever taken hold of me it usually takes like. a season #bc it's usually tv so it usually takes the first season. it took all of s12 in 2020 #but this was like... last sunday i told my sister like 'you know gerard way? theyre kinda cool maybe' #and this sunday i was painting the biggest painting ive ever done and it’s THEIR FACE #one week ago i was like 'idk i want to like it but this music is really not my genre' and two days later i was listening to it all day #a wEEK #like unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i talk about for the next week #actually no thats not true ive got nothing interesting to say about mcr #i did expect/hope to wean myself off of dw but i didnt expect it to get so violently replaced by something else #better than having nothing for a bit tbh #anyway it's not really replaced either im still writing fic and making videos #and i dont think mcr is gonna become a real special interest bc it has the obstacle of having real people so i cant get too involved #so it’ll just stay a fling i think. i Am excited for new music though. im excited for the old music! #i think the obsession will pass soon tho. fucking hope so this is the worst. im so annoying abt this #but for as long as it lasts it at least has produced maybe the best painting ive ever done. i think this might be the best #aND IT WAS SO FUN do you know how much fun it is to paint this big?? im never painting anything small ever again #also i Have actually been slowly working on a scene this past week in my notes app but it’s absolutely unnecessary thoschei octopus sex #like what i SHOULD be doing is loadbearing scenes to fill in the plot gaps. what i AM doing is more of the this. #more of the garbage that needs Connecting #anyway i didnt paint the mic bc i couldnt be bothered. i like painting faces and hands i dont care about objects sorry #hashtag artistic choice #mcrposting

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

Fucking finally making a tool stand

#tbh its gonna be so rough #but like. better than nothing #also i dont have a bit large enough for my oblongs and a lot of my end punches so im not quite sure what ill do about thay

[shoehorseconstant]

responses have been dwindling between me and guy and I think it's just cause he's busy atm but I can't help but worry -- what if this ends up being a natural stopping point and we just don't end up being able to talk again the same way after this??!!!! and the conversation just fades into dust naturally and there comes about the end.......that bums me out

#citrustalk #Ive held back on texting him a bit because I don't want to overwhelm him but I miss him and also my attachment issues are acting uppp #but I'm home sick right now and truly have nothing better to do than to worry about this #but I would be worried about this even if I was out tbh #but I feel like I don't need to worry that much because I feel like we're pretty good at like...generating conversation topics on the spot #and I think we do both want to talk to each other #but also because I can never be certain. I will continue to be afraid

[nyxi-pixie]

only talked abt this in rbs before but it lives in my brain and i need to fully DISSECT

tv and movies and books etc dont need to be endlessly hopeless and end in despair to be good!!! you dont need gratuitous violence and death and misery to have character arcs or plotlines or a good narrative!!! in fact, over using that shit can makes writing predictable and lose meaning!!!!!

if everyone expects certain characters to just be sad all the time and never have anything go right theyre not going to be shocked when more bad shit happens. it can totally negate the emotional value of the characters struggles if they Never have any wins. (even super tragic characters we usually start by seeing them doing well?? and then descending to shit??? not just starting shit. shit through the middle. and shit at the end. where tf wld the story be. u cant have an arc if its flat😭)

interrupting character arcs with death can be a good strat to emphasise the sadness of a character death OR it can just make the writing seem wasted which is what happens in most cases

killing off every character isnt shocking its boring.

HAPPY ENDINGS ARENT BAD WRITING. WRITING HOPE IN FICTION IS REALLY SLAY ACTUALLY. STOP MINIMISING HAPPY ENDINGS JUST BC THEY DONT RIP UR HEART OUT. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARENT THE ONLY WAY TO BE EMOTIONAL ABOUT MEDIA. (look at how many people cried over heartstopper. emotional. no deaths(except immys dog #rip) and happy endings)

SO NO. GIVING WILL BYERS A TRAGIC ENDING INCLUDING DEATH OR TURNING AGAINST EVERYONE HE LOVES OR HAVING THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABT SUDDENLY OUT OF CHARACTER NOT CARE ABOUT HIM WOULDNT BE GOOD WRITING. MAKING EVERYTHING HE FINDS HAPPINESS IN SUPER SAD ISNT GOOD WRITING. ITS BORING AND STUPID AND I HATE IT. will byers defense foREVER. anyway just let him be happy and let him have his bf it will work out much better for both of them. "mike should reject him" no actually ur wrong bc ur wrong.

AND HONESTLY. SAME FOR STEVE IDC IF PEOPLE SAY HE HAS TO DIE TO COMPLETE A CHARACTER ARC. DEATH ISNT THE ONLY CONCLUSION FOR EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. like if he dies thats fine but saying its the only valid progression for him?!??!?! stupid take.

#i call it the game of thrones effect #and its ruining everything #people genuinely think character arcs should end in death #people say this about steve harrington all the time and its like sure okay but you dont Need to have him die to complete an arv #arc** #stupid concept #characters dying=\=good writing #will byers #byler #i feel like you guys understand this better than most #will deserves a happy ending frfr #most of them do tbh #ANYWAY. SOMETIMES CHARACTER DEATHS ARE NECCESSARY. USEFUL TO STORY. ADD TO PLOT. ETC #BUT SOMETIMES ITS JUST BORING WRITING #'oh we want to make emotional scene so lets kill someone again' nothing says poor writing like over reliance on killing characters #steve harrington #sorry this is a bit of a mammoth compared to my other posts but guys i have so many thoughts

[goddevouringserpent]

tagged by @dmagedgoods for the last sentence challenge (thank you so much!!!)

RULES: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

the actual last sentence I've written is not in a shareable state because it ends abruptly and features not one but two instances of "[INSERT WORD HERE]". so instead I'm using the last sentence of a Kaija/Camellia fic I've been working on for literal months lol:

Kaija's gaze darts towards Camellia's mouth; towards her plush, cracked lips, the delicate curve of her mirthless smile, the slightest hint of her all-too-perfect white teeth.

we love toxic yuri

I'm not sure who to tag here because a) I'm pretty sure most people with writing WIPs must've been tagged already, b) that is way too many words & I don't think I know that many writers 😭 so if you're seeing this and want to do it: open tag be upon ye, consider yourself tagged / feel free to say I tagged you~

#Maia speaks #Kaija/Camellia #not too satisfied with that sentence tbh but I'll edit it once I'm done with the first draft. #also. the ''[INSERT WORD HERE]'' trick is one of my favourites as a writer not gonna lie #being an editor means I am overly critical of my own writing so learning to rely on placeholders helps me be a LITTLE more productive #not too much—as proven by the fact I haven't published any fic but in my defense I am also ESL and ADHD and painfully busy—but. a little. #and that's better than nothing! #also also. technically I have an original project in the works that I could use here. BUT it's an interactive fiction game #which makes sharing sentences a bit difficult because I'm adding Twine variables into the writing itself LOL #not saying it'd be unreadable but it'd be *annoying* to read that's for sure

[malewifehenrycooldown]

Slightly long, ramble vent-ish post but also some negative observations of the wider self ship community that has been bothering me a little bit.

sometimes I don’t want to be in the self ship community anymore (not that I considered myself part of it from the beginning) because said the community creates these small pocket communities of the same people interacting with each other and that’s fair and totally fine!

It’s just that up to a certain point, these pocket communities start to create an isolating and alien environment for newcomers and this is not helped by the community’s genuinely bad communication skills. Like I genuinely wonder how many blogs have deactivated due to lack of interactivity (a whole can of worms no one likes talking about apparently. HI REBLOG:LIKE RATIO) and the overwhelmingly intimidating environment for younger folks (teens - early 20s) to navigate, especially people who may not be as critical or conscious of the media they consume (and don’t understand how they could be harming people through consuming specific pieces of fiction). I remember one person straight up left due to the lack of communication and it really, really sucks because just an open conversation can really ease peoples fears and worries. People just should not have to feel like walking on eggshells all the damn time in the community and if they feel that way then there is something SEVERELY WRONG with this community but no one cares to address it

Like I’ve already left a few self discord servers, and blocked some users, and now I just don’t see any point really being in the community anymore, because there’s been multiple occasions when I’ve interacted with a user and then it turns out that said user probably has some personal issues they need to sort out, but constantly deflect blame or disregard anyone’s advice to change their actions/attitudes for the better or that they really need to get actual professional help. Like obviously we should call out bad behaviour but also know that you should encourage these people to change saidd behaviours for the better.

Idk maybe I’m cursed on tumblr to interact with people who turn out to be not that great or I’m just too naive because I believe that people are inherently good. Maybe I’m a fool for wanting to see the good in people and wanting to support them, all at the cost of me ignoring all the red flags that are obviously in front of me. Which to be fair is probably reasonable; fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me for not knowing better I should have heeded the red flags when I saw them. /serious

#shallow rambles #shallow vents #/ not about anymone #I guess also because tumblr is a bit of a polarising platform which probably doesn’t help #a few early former mutuals turn out to be not great people :/ #it probably doesn’t help that I am a conflict avoider and this sort of shit triggers my fight or flight response #idk man. maybe I’ll just stay in my bubble tbh #that and also I’ve noticed there’s some cult of Personality type shit happening too in the self ship community but I don’t think people #are ready to have that conversation yet 🧍‍♀️ #don’t expect me to do promos anymore tbh I don’t really see the point in them anymore #others thoughts are appreciated because I hope I’m not the only person that feels isolated by the community #like I have a life outside of the internet. i have more important things to do than worry about the ‘community’ #like obviously. gatekeep this shit from pro/shippers and alt right/hateful/bigoted people. #but like don’t make good folks in your community have to walk on eggshells all the time #this is not a sob story or anything these are just my thoughts and stuff #<- ​/gen serious #I’m just so tired of this community #nothing is fun anymore tbh and really it’s just more so a chore now… #when i come back I might clean out my posts and followers to keep a minimal audience #it might get better idk. #thoughts on queue #scheduled post: waiting in line

[varsovie]

.

#running away from home for few hours at age 27 is a bit embarassing but im not fond of having things thrown at me lmao #now that i got a new job ill move idc abt the u have to take care of ur family shit anymore #i just need a few paychecks to get my finances in line #i wish i could go nc but that would mean losing my entire family welp #sorry for ranting if anyone is reading this im just. tired and wanted to say smth #publically for once so i know im not crazy when tomorrow my fam tells me nothing actually happened #uhhh #tw abuse #i guess??? i dont know if this is abuse tbh but better safe than sorry #also its almost midnight so i hope i dont get robbed outside lol

[cacaitos]

tbh relationship-focused stories that revolve abt (at the very least essentially) the concepts of idk kidnapping or slavery get so much nothing out of me. if you wanna phrase it less judgementally i find them boring.

#txt #like when i say i prefer ppl beating each other it's mostly referring to a certain mutality. of course on actual terms #it cant always be equal but even if a little involvement on even the beaten's side regardless of actual emotion tbh #thats at least a bit better than a character that perpetually wants for nothing. cant do nothing. #as a beginning? a middle? an ending? thats ok. it's a character flaw? ok. is it p much a horror/drama? fine. but if youre trying to make #them both romanceable in any measure you have to give it like the littlest splinter of a backbone ie a Will of any kind to ask that much #from me. #i pay to see ppl punch their teeth out not to see an adult kick a baby to death bc it's quite limited what i get from the latter.

[no-one-hears-me]

who gave my lips the right to be so plump and kissable

#they look good rn idk why #no makeup or anything rn #not even my lip balm #I am a heavy lip balm user fyi #unrelated but only like 2 more assignments to do todayyyy #one longer one short #then I'll have a little for tomorrow #and then it will be better #I've just had a lot to do the last couple days so I've been busy #also long run today. longer than planned #like I had an idea of what I was gonna do but wasn't sure if I was gonna do it today bc I wasn't feeling great #but I did that and kept going lol #wasn't a great run bc I was tired and my body was struggling and hurting. but good distrance #just felt very tired on my runs all week idk what the issue is #might be due to low carbs tbh. hopefully it will be better #I don't wanna take a rest day but sometimes you need to. if nothing improves then I might rest a bit #okayyyyy exam time bye guys #Sera

[faultedloyalty]

✿ (for the black cat!)

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other : as long as he thinks the black cat is a cat, he will adore him and want to be his friend in the way someone might see animals as a friend ; see other under familial and antagonistic for more details though ooo

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other : you know the way people consider pets family ?

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other : if / when he finds out they're a demon too, he'll be having a wtf moment and will genuinely be a bit pissed, though also kind of intrigued ; cat-like demons don't exist where he comes from, and he'll assume that's the type of demon the black cat is unless shown otherwise

#hey there !! #i know nothing about the witch's house so i went and read a few of the links on the wiki aslkdms #‘my lord's messages have been answered’ : askbox #trattcria #while sebby canonically can sense other demons i feel like #elation over cat will trump the sense . like he might wonder every now and then #but i think it'd be a bit fun to have him blind to it for awhile #though ofc if you'd prefer somethin' else / not any of this then feel free to tell me !! #this is just . all i could think of LSKMD #i've never even hard of twh tbh :0 seems very cool though ! #overall though the way he views others is very . not equal #even the beings he genuinely likes they're very separate from him #companion might be a better word than pet though . black cat companion for seb #but even that is like . similar level . if that makes any sense at all ?

[acealistair]

okay i knew gale was gonna very quickly like cosette but i didn't realize he'd just like. nearly instantly adore her lmao

i'm over here struggling to get most companions out of the neutral zone meanwhile gale is almost maxed out already 😭

#feels a bit fast tbh!! but i'm curious to see where it goes #almost certain he'll be cosette's romance at this point she thinks he's fascinating in more ways than one #honestly the cute weave scene solidified it i couldn't have written a better scene for her to fall for him if i tried #she just did the lil romantic walk thought tho so nothing has happened other than the soft suggestion of interest #bg3 spoilers #sierra plays bg3 #wrote this at 3 AM after i stopped playing for the day lmao but publishing later so more ppl might see it

[malkaviian]

how to realize i've had enough academically speaking today: i started to think about rafael and luca's domestic life, in case they somehow meet and get together after rafael's divorce.

#oc talk #i imagine he would be heartbroken but luca would be able to lift his spirits just by existing. luca would come home #after doing grocery shopping and he would be like 'ah!! i forgot salt and cheese!' while rafael's all 'its ok<3 i'll buy it get comfy' #he would be. really protective; the type to kill the bug except luca would feel bad so he asks him to put it outside instead. #these little kind gestures he shows through the day would enamour him more tbh. i dont think they would fight that much #because luca is just too soft to get angry; and he would be way too soft towards him to get angry at anything he does. #ok maybe he would get a bit angry on the whole 'not doing anything else besides blocking to the person who sends me death threats' #but its not directed at him its more the frustration over the fact he seems to be too kind and non confrontational for his own good. #a family can be a femboy who lives off streaming on twitch; a divorced soldier #and the guy who seems part of their lives because he loves to send said femboy horrific and medically accurate death threats. #also finally luca can live off something that isnt delivery or instant noodles because rafael will cook sometimes for the both of them #although he also doesnt know to cook. a lot of things bc charlotte used to be in charge of that (like the fucking patriarchy /j /s) #but hey at least they can eat homemade soup. or chicken wings. its better than nothing. #another thing is that he would feel suspicious of anything luca's fans send him and inspect the package just to see it doesnt contains. #an explosive or something KJDNKJDSNFJNJ the package needs to surpass his vibe check /j #oh and he would feel extremely awkward appearing on stream even if accidentally so whenever luca is Working™ #he secludes himself on the living room and talks to mary or smth. luca on the other hand would probably talk about him on stream #whenever he knows he will be busy and not come home for a few days or more. he would miss him a lot:c #another thing before going to sleep and because i needed to say it: rafael's sex life would suffer a significant downgrade. and i dont mean #that sex became bad; moreso he doesnt have sex like. ever. his meat stick has no use now besides peeing #maybe now that hes dating someone though luca may be open to have sex SOMETIMES; but for him sometimes is like. 1 time every 2 months #and rafael's used to be way more sexually active (plus the few times would need to be way softer compared to how he was used with charlotte #i imagine that can be a bit frustrating tbh and as any guy traumatized by being cheated on (even more on his case) he would be #somewhat scared that luca doesnt likes him actually and that hes already looking for someone else/has someone else 'satisfying' him already #he realizes it doesnt makes sense at all because hes not that type of person; or so it seems. he was already tricked once for years. #but its ok they will find a solution because theyre 💖💘💖IN LOVE💖💘💖 the lingerie luca had for onlyfans could be useful for something #probably

[afternines]

I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH

#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier #my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought #that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much #from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal #like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks #done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when #and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so #lucky to be here #To get back to the point im trying to make tho. #as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly #thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too #but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever #and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh #but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years #and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot #but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do #the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol #and i dont . i dont understand it #bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee #good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not #understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me #everything always seems easy for everyone but me #i really dont understand #is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough? #im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes #my body grows but i just dont grow up

[woulddieforloki]

I can't believe infinity war didn't make it onto the poll along with endgame

apparently most people seem to like Infinity War more than Endgame and consider Endgame the bigger crime against the MCU and I'm so ??? Infinity War's grown on me, I will admit, but it's not nearly as entertaining as Endgame imo it just drags on so long that by the time the big battle happens I barely remembered that they started the movie by killing off Loki to pRoVe tO tHe AuDiEnCe ThAt ThAnOs iS a VeRy BaD dUdE (I assume was the point at least; proving that the movie does have high stakes and that Thanos is someone to be wary of) but that was like two whole hours before the final fight began and ugh Marvel's worst crime is making Infinity War so goddamn long

#society if Infinity War was shorter >>> #there's just too much happening #they bit off more than they could chew #and phase four was about biting off even mORE so im kinda scared for avengers five ngl #but honestly i gotta admit as much as it pained me to watch #the opening scene of Infinity War is pretty damn good #(and would have been so much better if Loki wasn't acting like a cringey cocky bitch right before he tried to stab Thanos) #(idk something about that dialogue irks me a lil) #negativity #infinity war negativity #infinity war criticism #I'm not even criticizing it tbh nothing I'm talking about it even valid or objectively true it's just things that bug me lol #mcu negativity

[kestisvrse]

you don’t know me

pairing ⋆ spidey!luke castellan x gn!reader au. fluff with a bit of angst. friends to lovers.

synopsis ⋆ spider-man appears at your window for help, and accidentally reveals his identity.

warnings ⋆ blood descriptions, stitching, swearing, stranger danger tbh, bit dramatic(?), kinda rushed i apologize | wc: 2.5k

a/n ⋆ i hate the ending of this so feel free to not read it😭😭

♫ - jackie and wilson by hozier

1:33am

it was hard trying to stay awake at this time, sound of the rain against your window and the soft snores of your roommates made it was easy to focus on closing your tired eyes instead of looking over all the notes scattered on your desk, it seemed nothing could stop you from drifting off to the peaceful place despite the thought of your sore neck in the morning from being slouched over your desk, but three taps against your window made your eyes shoot open.

he regretted it immediately, as he watched your head rise from the desk, but what else could he do? he gripped his side as he watched you mumble to yourself at the sight of spider-man on your fire escape, but you quickly opened the window.

“what the fuck?” you whisper at the sight, the heavy rain began to cover your window sill and floor but you didn’t even notice.

“hi, um i know this must seem very odd..” the superhero in front of you trailed off as you let him in, “shit, i’m bleeding on your carpet.”

“what- oh shit!” you gasp, noticing the giant gash he gripped on his torso, without a second thought you grabbed his hand and dragged him into your private bathroom, pushing him to sit on the toilet as you rummaged in your cupboards, as you pulled out a first-aid kit, you rummaged for supplies, “can i ask why the hell spider-man is bleeding in my bathroom right now?”

“i- i lost a lot of blood, i wouldn’t have been able to make it to my place in time.” he lied, “not to sound creepy but i saw your light on and.. and i needed help.”

“can you take the top half of your suit off?” you ask, washing your hands, as if you hadn’t even acknowledged what he had said. he nods, unzipping the back and removing his arms from the sleeves, letting the suit rest at his waist, his mask still hiding his identity, “this will hurt.” you warn, even though he had definitely experienced worse than a wound being wiped down.

but still he winced, clenching his jaw, as you realized it wasn’t just a cut, he had been stabbed.

“thank god you stumbled across a med-students dorm.” you mumble to yourself, trying to lighten the mood as you get ready to stitch his side together, as he went to laugh at your comment he was interrupted by a groan of pain emitting from his throat.

“i know it hurts, but try to be quiet. if you wake clarisse, my roommate up, she will not make this situation any better.” you say, luke holds back a laugh knowing it was definitely true, he bites down on his lower lip as you stitch him up. luckily it was a shallow cut,.

you worked in silence, occasionally broken up by strewn out swears and winces from the superhero, biting your lip in concentration. as you tied together the final stitch you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding.

“okay, the hard part is done.” you informed him, wiping down any excess blood that stained his skin.

“thanks.” he mutters weakly, moving to adjust his posture but immediately freezing as pain shoots up his body.

“stay still.” you say, “i still have to bandage it.” pulling out medical tape and gauze out of your medical bag, he felt as your hands occasionally slipped off the white bandage and touched his stomach. the pain almost subsided as the feeling of your fingertips burned into him. wrapping the bandage around his torso and taping it down you lean back on your knees, letting out a sigh.

he focuses on you as you stand, washing blood off your hands in the sink before cleaning up your supplies, you glance at him catching him staring, as he pretends to admire your bathroom as if he hadn’t been in here before.

“um-“ he clears his throat, “sorry for bleeding on your floor.” he mentioned, guilt evident in his voice.

“s’okay, i didn't like that carpet much anyways.” you say, which was a lie. luke remembered vividly how happy you were to get what you called, ‘the best rug ever’ for your room, his brows furrow.

you lean back against the bathtub, letting out a sigh, he goes to move but you nudge him with your foot, “don’t go just yet, won’t be good to swing on new stitches.” you explained to him, as he leaned back against the back of the toilet.

his breathing was sharp and inconsistent as his stomach stung in pain, his eyes squeezed shut, “the only thing i have for pain is like advil and tylenol. i don’t know if that helps with stab wounds though.” you spoke up, he shakes his head in response.

“i’ll be fine, just- just need to catch my breath.” to which you nodded in response.

“can i get you water?��� you suggest, quickly standing as a ‘please’ is heard from under the mask, him suddenly noticing the scratchy and dry feeling of his throat. you rush out the room, tiptoeing into the kitchen to grab water for the superhero, as you return and hand it to him, you spin around so he can remove his mask.

his face was red as he watched you carefully, slipping his mask above his nose to gulp down the glass. scared you’d spin around to discover it was your friend bleeding out in the bathroom.

but you didn’t, as he pulled the mask back down and placed the cup on the counter, is when you turned and returned to your spot on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest.

he begins to shuffle uncomfortably on the toilet, breathing harder as his back slouched and his body tensed. the bandages felt tight on him, as he resisted the urge to rip them off, he was quickly distracted as you kneeled in front of him, placing your hand on his exposed wrist.

tingles shot up his body at the feeling of your skin against his again, it felt so odd, knowing he had hugged and brushed past you so many times but this was different, every touch had him blushing as butterflies flew around his stomach, he didn’t know you felt the same way, but with luke, not spider-man.

“control your breathing, your pulse is out of control.” you breathe, your pointer and middle finger pressed against his wrist feeling his pulse.

he began to focus on your breathing, watching as your chest rose and fell while you seemingly seemed focused on the wall of the bathroom. he quickly matched his breathing with yours, sitting up straight as your hand pulled away from him.

“thank you, for helping me.” he stammered, suddenly self conscious of his voice, how hadn’t you recognized it?

“i mean, what else was i supposed to do? there was a superhero at my window sill.” you scoff in disbelief, “it’s fine, i mean, it’s the least i can do for you keeping me- uh new york, safe.” you clear your throat, staring at your hands that rest atop your knees. “can i ask you something?”

his throat dries, “yeah?”

“i mean- obviously don’t answer if it’s too personal or gives away your identity, but.” you tilt my head, “do you like… live a normal life during the day? or are you always spider-man?” you ask cautiously.

he pauses to think about his answer, narrowing his eyes at you, “oh yeah, i-i do have a normal life during the day.” he confesses, the hand that grasped his stomach moves to scratch the back of his neck.

“cool.” you reply, stopping yourself from question him farther.

“you aren’t asking any questions,” he stated quietly, almost in disbelief. as he spoke, he shifted his attention to your face. “i was expecting some like freaked out reactions. but you’re... you’re really chill about this.”

“you have a secret identity for a reason, i wouldn’t want to ruin that for you. you keep the city safe, and that’s all i need to know.” you shrug in response, staring at the white eyes of his mask.

“i mean it’s so crazy.” you say randomly, causing his head to tilt in confusion, “i’ve thought about it before you know, imagine one of my friends was a masked superhero.” he tenses, knowing that in fact it was true, “like my friend luke, he’s always disappearing at random moments.” his eyes widen but you don’t notice because of the mask, chuckling to yourself at the thought.

“yeah, imagine that.” he murmurs in response, suddenly very sweaty in stress.

“how’re you feeling?” you turn your attention back to him.

“still hurts a lot, but i should go now.” he explains, his hand on the counter to steady himself as he stands, “again, thank you so much.”

you walk to the window, opening it and helping him climb out onto the fire escape, “again” you repeat him, “it’s the least i could do.”

4:56pm

you yawn as you open the door revealing luke castellan, bag swung over his shoulder and hair messy from the wind, he gave you a lopsided smile, “ready to study?”

you shake your head as he enters your apartment, “i was studying all night, barely got sleep.” you respond, leading him to your room.

he just nods his head at you in response, cheeks growing hot, sure you were studying, before his alter ego stumbled through your window.

as he walked into your room, he immediately took notice of the spot of your carpet that had been rolled over, to cover the evidence of the blood stain. his stare lingered there, before quickly collecting himself to sit on your bed.

“i made these flashcards for you last night.” you break the silence, holding up pastel green cards, “ready to be tested, castellan?” you tease, plopping onto the bed and leaning against the headboard as he takes his jacket off.

“oh bless you for those.” he praised, comfortably laying down at the end of your feet.

“just admit i’m your favourite person.” you giggle, he rolls his eyes before encouraging you to begin.

thirty minutes past as you tested him, reaching the end before you would swap over, “alright” you clear your throat, “next- luke?” your gaze drifts up from the card.

“yeah?” he asked, waiting for you to continue.

“you’re bleeding.” you point at his shirt, he looks down to find his blue t-shirt slowly bleed red, dripping down his side. immediately, he reacted by pressing down as hard as he could against the wound, a small whimper escaping his lips in the process.

“what-“ you cut yourself off, to look up into his eyes, eyes widening in the process “no fucking way.”

he tore his attention away from his wound, blood seeping into your bed sheets, “i-“ in a flash you’re up from the bed, cards spilling onto the floor as you yank him up causing him to yelp. he sits down on the toilet as you rummage for the first aid kit, again.

“take off your shirt.” you demanded, and despite the surprise this brought him, he didn’t resist. he removed his shirt almost immediately, revealing the bloody coated bandages.

you stared at his chest, the fact that it was the exact same as spider-mans made you wanna scream, but you held back, removing the bandages and staying quiet to patch him up, too scared to speak.

luke stayed silent, staring at you with sad eyes, praying you would forgive him. he winced every so often at the sting of you restitching some stitches that came loose, and rewrapping his stomach with fresh gauze.

your lips pursed together as you washed your hands, refilling the same cup from last night with water and placing it beside him before walking off into your room. luke quickly tugs hair shirt back on, ignoring the blood stain and the pain that shot up his body at the sudden movement, before going to stand in front of you in your room, “i’m sorry.” he whispers.

“you could have died, and it would have been my fault.” you remarked, “can you imagine? spider-man dies in my bathroom and i take his mask off to reveal my best fucking friend.” you scoffed, tears covering your waterline.

his expression softened, as he nudged your foot with his, “but i didn’t.”

“but you could have!” you yell, shooting up to stand in front of him, “jesus luke, this is what you’ve been doing all year? this is why you disappear all the time?” he stares at his shoes as you rub your forehead.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, a sad expression covering his face, as he blinked rapidly, “i’m sorry for putting you through that. i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“you-you’re spider-man.” you gasp out, in disbelief. your hand clutches your chest as tears roll out onto your cheeks. his hand brushes your bicep as you flinch.

“yeah… yeah i am.” he sighs, guiding you to sit back down on your bed, “i wish i hadn’t come here last night but- i wouldn’t have been able to stitch that up myself.” he sighed as you sobbed into your hands.

“you could have died.” you choke out, repeating yourself before falling into his side, almost on instinct he wraps his arm around you, rubbing your back comfortingly. he knew you wouldn’t respond well if he had ever told you, but he hadn’t thought about how you would feel to him almost dying in your bathroom.

“i’m okay. i promise.” he breathed into your hair, but you just shook your head in response, unable to respond as you tried to catch your breath.

“i don’t care if i am fast asleep, if this ever happens again, you come to me luke, i stitch you up.” you begged, looking up to him teary eyed.

his gaze softens looking at you but nodded in response, “okay, i promise.” his hand hovers over you neck, “i didn’t want to put you in danger or worry you. i would have told you. i was also scared you wouldn’t… wouldn’t look at me the same” he whispered.

“you’re still luke castellan, i still will like you no matter what, you just… you scared the shit out of me.” you sputtered out, not thinking about what you were saying to the boy in front of you, his body tensed.

“like me?” he asks, brows furrowed to see if you meant as friends or.. as more. he got his answer as he watched your eyes widen slightly and you began to stutter, “you… you like me?”

“what- no i meant-“ you shake your head so hard he thought it might spin off, and so he took his chance. the hand that hovered over your neck held your face still as he connected his lips with yours.

you found yourself unable to kiss back in shock, he heats up in embarrassment as he began to pull away, which brought you to your senses as you pulled him back down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

he pulled away for air, leaning your foreheads against each other.

“i can’t believe i accused you of being a secret superhero, while infront of you last night.” you mumbled, as he just laughed in response and shook his head.

“i promise to be more safe, just for you.” he said, leaning in to peck your lips.

#sienna’s fics #luke castellan x you #luke castellan au #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #pjo au #pjo x reader #spiderman #spiderman au #luke castellan as spider-man #percy jackson #percy jackson au #fluff #angst with a happy ending