#bl as a whole should get used to conversations like these

[pharawee]

#city of stars #city of stars the series #job krisz #porsche sitha #fueang x krom #cityofstarsedit #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #my edits. #i loved this so much #talking it out is so 😍😍😍 #i see so many bl fans talk about verses like they're the pinnacle of queerness #when honestly preferences are a thing that exist on a spectrum #and rather than dismissing characters that top or bottom exclusively #bl as a whole should get used to conversations like these

[williamrikers]

On the subject of consent in recent BLs

In this analysis, I will take a look at several love scenes in recent Thai BLs, how they frame consent and the sexual agency of the characters, and why those matter.

(KinnPorsche deserves its own post: I’m sure people have already written in detail about how much emphasis is placed on issues of consent/non-consent throughout the show and how fundamental consent is to the relationship arcs of both KinnPorsche and VegasPete, and I won’t belabor the point here. Also, special shout-out to The Warp Effect for what it brought to the conversation about gay sex, but TWE isn’t technically a BL so I decided not to include it in this analysis.)

I am going to take a closer look at the following shows in this essay: Not Me, The Eclipse, A Boss And A Babe, Step By Step, and La Pluie.

Not Me and The Eclipse predate the other shows by two years/one year respectively, but I feel it is valuable to include them here because both show very explicit negotiations of consent that I feel are spiritual successors to the wonderful scenes we’ve been getting in the other three shows.

Why am I even writing this? There used to be an unfortunate tendency in the genre to have a power imbalance between the “seme” and the “uke” character, which translated into the seme deciding when to have sex and what kind of sex to have—and even though recently, several shows have done good work in dismantling the seme/uke dynamic and questioning the associated stereotypes, it cannot be denied that the archetypes are still an important part of most BLs, and even in cases where the tropes are played with and questioned, understanding those subversions still requires a knowledge of and familiarity with the original tropes on the part of the audience.

However, gone are the days of Until We Meet Again and Dean’s “I’ve waited long enough, make sure you’re ready.” (I enjoyed UWMA a lot but that was. Yeah. Not Great.) Now, we see characters actually talking about and negotiating their limits, and doing what feels good to them.

Let’s start from the very beginning. Not Me was an absolute trailblazer in this regard, and not mentioning it here would be a gross oversight. The first time Sean and White have sex, it happens in their version of the beach episode. (Which, in Not Me, is the two characters briefly living in a tent inside an abandoned building. This show is the best.) Sean and White are removed from their usual environment and protected from the outside world by two barriers: the walls of the old house and the tent that’s literally enveloping them and giving them a space that is unequivocally theirs, shared, in which neither one of the characters has any sort of power over the other. And what happens in that space when they’re about to have sex is extremely interesting: the first thing Sean asks is whether White is afraid of him, which White denies. The following exchange goes like this: White: "So, what are we doing?" Sean: "What should I do to you?" White: "That’s up to you." (Watch the whole scene here.)

I find this exchange incredibly meaningful because this already turns the seme/uke dynamic that can be found in a lot of other shows on its head. OffGun as a branded pair can easily be stereotyped into the seme/uke dynamic just because of their physical appearances, and clearly spelling out that both characters have agency in this scene is incredibly important.

And then it gets better! Sean assumes that White is sexually inexperienced (which is not true but the fact that White was actually in a relationship with a woman back in Russia never comes up again after the pilot episode, so maybe the show expects us to assume this, too), and suggests they try different things and White can tell him what he likes and doesn’t like. Compared to the stuff we’re getting now, this scene isn’t very high heat at all, but it’s one of my favorite intimate scenes ever because them asking each other “Do you like this?” after every kiss, every touch, is so incredibly unique and transports a wonderful sense of figuring out sexual pleasure together, as a couple.

Sex in Not Me is not something one character does to another, it is something that is discovered and shared together, and we even get an afterglow scene in which they gently tease each other about their fast beating hearts. (And don’t get me started on the importance of White choosing to ask Sean whether Sean is okay with White not being like Black in that moment right before they have sex, because he doesn’t actually want to have sex with Sean as Black! He wants to discover and share intimacy with Sean as White, as himself, not as his brother! The layers!)

Anyway, I think that scene paved the way for a lot of the conversations around consent we’re now getting in BL, just because it is so explicitly, unashamedly putting forward a definition of sexuality that has nothing to do with one character actively giving and the other passively receiving, but frames intimacy as something that is built together. (More on giving and receiving later!)

Now, moving on to The Eclipse. I decided to include the first time Akk and Aye have sex for a different reason: while we don’t really see them actually talking about consent, we see them practicing non-verbal consent. Let me explain. Akk’s and Aye’s whole thing is teasing each other. At first, Aye is usually the one doing the teasing, but Akk gets the hang of it towards the end of the show and teases his boyfriend right back. When they’re in Akk’s childhood bedroom together, Aye clearly alludes to the fact that he thought they might use this opportunity to have sex for the first time, which Akk pretends not to understand, all while alluding to it himself. I love this guy. (Watch the whole scene here.) Anyway, Akk says he wants to sleep, lies down and once again, tells Aye jokingly he just wants to sleep, clearly expecting Aye to do what other BL protagonists do at that point and not take no for an answer (sidenote: I HATE the “saying no as foreplay” trope with a passion and as far as I’m concerned it should die already).

However, Aye is not like other BL love interests, and he backs off. He stops touching Akk, lies down with his back to Akk, showing Akk that he takes him by his word: if Akk says he wants to sleep, Aye is going to let him do just that. So now, it’s on Akk to say that, no, that’s not what he meant, can Aye please come back to cuddle. And then Akk is the one to escalate from cuddling to kissing, which is extremely important: we know that Aye has been ready to have sex with Akk since forever, it’s Akk who’s been having hangups about intimacy this whole time.

They don’t put consent into so many words on this show, but Aye shows Akk that he respects his limits and that Akk only has to tell him he doesn’t want to do something and Aye will take him at his word.

So, these are, to me, two foundational scenes of establishing consent: one that shows consent as something that is established verbally, as an ongoing conversation, and one that shows consent as something that is established physically, by showing your partner that you respect their choices and limits by way of simply acting accordingly.

Now, let’s get into the fun part: scenes we got so far in 2023. I’m writing this post on the 13th of June, and I’m sure this year still has some great things in store for us, especially because Step By Step and La Pluie are both ongoing and neither of the main couples are actually together yet at time of writing. However, they’ve both already given us AMAZING scenes on the topic of consent, so I feel it is worthwhile to write about those already.

I want to start off by talking about A Boss And A Babe.

Let me just preface this by saying that the intimate scenes in ABAAB are some of my all time favorites in BL ever, because in them, sex is something that is just so normal. When Gun and Cher have sex, we don’t see them very passionate, excited, reluctant or wide-eyed innocent (which are some of the emotions traditionally associated with sex in BL). On the contrary, in every single scene that shows them being intimate, both characters are incredibly calm. They’re certainly happy to be with each other, but in a subdued way. Someone described their second intimate scene as them seeming like they’ve been married for a few years. They’re both just… incredibly normal about having sex with each other. It’s simply something they like to do together. It’s a part of their romance but it’s not more or less important than any other aspects of their lives.

And consent is at the very heart of it.

When Gun and Cher have their first time, we see Gun explicitly asking for consent two times: first, “Can I kiss you?”, then, “Can I do more?” The second one even comes with the promise that if Cher says no, Gun will immediately go to sleep without mentioning it again. And then it is on Cher to say yes, to pull Gun close and kiss him to show him that he is comfortable with taking things further. (In the show, these two questions were shown apart from each other, I cut together a version of the whole First Time Scene in its entirety, watch it here.)

Now, things get more interesting: the second intimate scene shows Cher initiating the encounter (watch the whole scene here). Cher pretty consistently falls into the uke category, both physically and as far as characterization is concerned, but he’s certainly not shy in the bedroom. And this time, he’s the one who asks for consent from Gun: Gun asks “You’re starting it?” and Cher’s response is “Can I?” Despite him being framed physically lower than Gun, basically at Gun’s mercy, he still seeks confirmation that Gun is okay with the way things are going. Not to overstate it, but to me, this feels revolutionary. Once again, we’re being shown that sex is something two people do together, as a shared activity, and that the “seme” character isn’t expected to just be up for it. He, too, has the right to say no.

On this show, sexual agency is taken extremely seriously, and it is clear that both Gun and Cher give each other space to decide what they’re comfortable doing. This is shown in non-intimate scenes as well: there are so many moments on ABAAB in which the characters negotiate physical touch and closeness, asking each other for hugs before actually hugging each other, Cher leaning on Gun’s shoulder in the car but not allowing Gun to touch him because that’s not what he’s comfortable with in that moment, and so on. (The only exception to this otherwise pretty consistent rule is the kiss in the car scene, which I’m still extremely confused about because it seems to go completely against Gun’s character. Who knows what happened there.)

Of course, the fact that so much emphasis is placed on negotiation and consent isn’t surprising on a show that has such obvious kink undertones and whose Our Skyy 2 entry basically consisted entirely of Dom/sub roleplay at work—I’m just saying, I think someone on the writing team is way into BDSM and knows all about the importance of enthusiastic consent from all parties involved, and I would like to send them flowers.

Step By Step hasn’t really reached the point where we can analyse the dynamic between the main couple (although we can take some educated guesses based on the interactions we’ve seen so far). However, last week’s episode had an extremely important scene between Pat and Put: Pat wanting to have sex with Put, then changing his mind mid make-out (watch the whole scene here). I really like the way this scene was done. No matter how shitty Put treats Pat at times, in this instance, he immediately understood and respected Pat’s change of mind without Pat even saying or explaining anything—at the end of the episode, Put says to Pat that Pat should tell Put when he feels ready to have sex. (We already know this will never happen because of course, Pat and Put are not endgame, but I do appreciate the sentiment.)

BLs rarely include a whole storyline in which the protagonist is in an actual, serious romantic relationship with someone other than his endgame love interest (hi Moonlight Chicken!), or if they do then just to up the angst factor. In this case, however, I feel that this scene raises our expectations for Jeng even further: if the guy who is definitely not a romantic match for Pat treats Pat with this much respect in the bedroom, then Jeng has to do at least that and then some. I do feel confident that Jeng won’t disappoint in this regard, but it’s fascinating to see a show frame this kind of respect as the absolute baseline minimum, with the endgame love interest expected to do even better.

Now, the one you’ve all been waiting for. The one that made me write this whole essay in the first place: La Pluie.

Oh boy. Where to start.

A week ago, we got an incredible make-out scene on Saengtai’s floor, which ended in Patts stopping the encounter because he could tell Tai wasn’t really comfortable taking things further—@bengiyo talked about that scene in detail here. And then, three days ago, La Pluie gave us the most unique, trope-defying, timeline-changing blowjob scene of all time, and I want to talk about it.

Tai and Patts are making out on their bed, Tai is not ready to go “all the way” and stops Patts from undressing him. We see a very realistic frustrated reaction from Patts, who nevertheless immediately stops and accepts Tai’s wishes—it is clear that Patts does not expect things to go any further at this point, and that he won’t pressure Tai into anything.

And then, Tai offers to blow him.

(Unfortunately, this show is only on iQiyi so I can't link to it, but you can get a good impression of the scene here.)

I mentioned the concepts of giving and receiving earlier: other people have said this more eloquently than me, but there is a tendency not only in BL but also in wider society to view sex in terms of giving and receiving, with a lot of expectations and stereotypes attached to the roles during different sexual acts. On other shows, that blowjob might be framed as a consolidation or an apology, something that the giver does out of a sense of obligation without enjoying it much. Not so on La Pluie! Tai is shown incredibly happy and satisfied afterwards, both when they’re sleeping next to each other, as well as on the morning after (see also @ginnymoonbeam's post about that here). Tai offered to blow Patts because he simply wanted to, not motivated by guilt or anything of that sort. And he genuinely enjoyed it! In the post I linked above, @bengiyo points out that La Pluie consistently centers queer desire, or more specifically in this case, male desire for a male body; much in the same way that the camera fucking loves Force’s body on ABAAB: the sensuality of the skin, the hands, the abs, the flat chests, the broad backs and shoulders of these men is explicitly emphasized, and Tai’s desire for a dick in his mouth is made absolutely crystal-clear. Of course, since this is a TV show and not a porno, we only see Patts’s thumb in Tai’s mouth instead of his dick, but the imagery, the implications, are clear as day.

And it is such a gentle framing, too: Patts caresses Tai’s lip lovingly, Tai opens his mouth slowly, seductively, then faces Patts’s crotch with a soft look on his face. We do get a clear sense of this encounter as tender, and gentle, and most of all, desired. Tai’s queer desire is at the heart of this scene, and at the heart of the afterglow scene as well. He wanted this man’s dick in his mouth, openly suggested it, showed Patts he was sure about his decision after Patts asked him whether he was, and ended up clearly happy and satisfied with the sex they had. This post, also by @bengiyo, goes into more detail on that.

This, once again, shows us sex as a conversation rather than a series of predetermined acts, shows us sex as a shared activity, as something that can be wonderful and intimate and make people happy without following what society views as “the correct steps”. I think this is extremely important because one part of queer identity is figuring out one’s own relationship to sexuality, one’s own desires and needs, and BLs that ignore this aspect fall a little short in my opinion. Sure, those men are kissing, but do they experience queer desire? Do they experience joy in their queer desire?

For me personally, a show that does not shy away from these questions is a lot more meaningful than a show that does, and consent is at the heart of it all. By framing sex as a conversation, as something that is built and shared together, the shows I looked at here are actively positioning themselves against the idea that there should be predetermined roles for partners during sex, and instead suggest that queer joy can be found in communication and consent. Understanding sex and intimacy as something that is built together, with both partners as equals in conversation, is just as radically queer as a man waking up with a smile on his face after giving his soulmate a blowjob the previous night.

And quite honestly, a male character who clearly, passionately, unquestioningly communicates that he wants a dick inside of him—that is incredibly sexy. But maybe that’s just me.

#*mine #not me the series #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #a boss and a babe #step by step #step by step the series #la pluie #la pluie the series #i said ''is anyone going to write a 3k meta analysis on this topic'' then didn't wait for an answer

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 platonic friendship moments

Thank you SO much for asking me this, I love friendship!!!!

Nick and Sand Kissing in Only Friends, Ep. 9

gif by @aprilblossomgirl

I know you have your thoughts on Only Friends at this point because of how it ended, but there were a lot of things I do think Only Friends got right, one of my favorites being the platonic make out session between Nick and Sand. I mean, we talked about this before. It felt so queer, and it also did a really great job showing the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, because the kiss gave us nothing, and did the same for Team Second Option. I will forever love the fact that they made out, giggled, cuddled, and then giggled some more about it because it was kinda awkward and a little embarrassing, but they love each other as friends and that kiss changed literally nothing about their dynamic.

Porjai giving Mhok a Massage in Last Twilight, Ep 6

gif by @khaopybara

I like that some of the shows this year are starting to get in to the relationship dynamics of exes who stayed friends after. Like, listen, I've never been in a relationship before, and I know why it does happen where exes never really speak again, but it never made sense to me why 99% of the ex-partner relationship dynamics I've ever seen are bad. Like, this is a person who matter so much to you, and then you're just never going to see them or talk to them again? I love this massage moment that Porjai has with Mhok especially because it feels familial and familiar and friendly, and it is the scene that made me be like "man I can't believe they used to date" in exactly the same way that Porjai was confused when Day called Mhok her boyfriend.

Wataru Being a Little Shit on Shiro's Birthday in What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2, Ep. 7

Wataru is such a little shit, and I love him desperately, and his whole relationship with Shiro and Kenji is so strange. He's such a complainer, and while it can feel like the four gay men in this show hang out and are friends because they are the only gay people they know, it is moments like these that sell their actual friendship for me. Sending your friend a bouquet with a MASSIVE 50 balloon in it because you know it'll piss them off is pique best friend behavior.

Gay Boy Cuddle Pile in A Boss and a Babe, Ep. 9

gif by @paisky

I am not immune to a gay boy cuddle pile. I will never be immune to a gay boy cuddle pile.

Having had multiple conversations with a straight male friend about how much cis men lack platonic, physical touch from friends I now get emo about when boys hug, cuddle, kiss cheeks, hold hands with each other especially if they are not dating or hoping to date.

Rose Trying to Steal Charn's Phone in Laws of Attraction, Ep. 4

gif by @panncakes

It's such sibling energy, and I love it so much. As an immature adult, I love when adultier adults than me are shown being childish/immature themselves. No one should be expected to be put together all the time, and I moments like these show such a beautiful form of love.

and cause Laws of Attraction is technically a lakorn...

Sailom and Yiwa in the entirety of Wedding Plan

They love each other so much they were going to enter a Lavendar Marriage just so that Yiwa especially could be free. I can't say much about them because if I start talking about them I won't stop. But it is by far the most sacred form of platonic love we've had all year.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#ask game #best of bl 2023 #only friends the series #ofts #last twilight the series #what did you eat yesterday? #kinou nani tabeta? #a boss and a babe #abaab #laws of attraction #wedding plan the series

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

Evermore - Steve's Ending

Series Summary: It's been 7 years since the love of your life left you behind for his career. When he decides to come back, is it too late to start anew? Will you decide to start over or realize what's been right in front of you this whole time?

Just a small note: Thank you all for sticking around with me on this small journey! Enjoy!

Masterlist found here!

18+ Only! MDNI!

Warnings: Reader is referred to as "Peach". AFAB reader. Tad bit if angst at the beginning, mostly fluff. SMUT. Unprotected P in V. Creampie.

Word Count: 6k

You turned the car around to head over to a house you knew fairly well. You’d been here a couple of times since he had moved Wayne out of Forest Hills.

The black sedan he’d rented sat in the drive as you pulled in behind it, shutting the ignition off and taking a deep breath. You sat there a few moments trying to gather yourself.

You slowly moved from the driver’s seat, as your feet that currently felt like chunks of lead, carried you up the drive. You took the steps one by one until you were face to face with the door.

You hesitantly lifted your fist, knocking three quick times, holding your breath in the process.

Muffled voices came through, he was standing before you as the door swung open. Bright eyes, but a little surprised to see you.

“Peach.” He breathed out.

“Hi Eddie.” You smiled, genuinely. Deep down he knew why you were here. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, sure.” He nodded, moving out of the way for you to enter.

You followed him into the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”

“No, I’m good. Come, sit with me.” He took the chair across from you, bracing for the worst.

“Eddie, I just came to tell you that our kiss wasn’t a mistake, but it made me realize that I should have closed that chapter of my life when you left me. I need to move forward, so should you.” You watched his whole demeanor deflate.

“You shattered my heart, and I was waiting for a different version of you to come back home. We're in such different places in our lives now. I… I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. It’s not like I wasn’t expecting it, Peach. But uh… You’ll be seeing me around. I’m not leaving Hawkins. I’m staying with Wayne for a while. Taking some steps to stay sober.”

“Eddie, that’s great. I’m so proud of you!” beaming at him. God he was going to miss that.

“Yeah, already smoothed it over with the boys.”

You both grew silent. Unsure of what to say next.

“Peach, it's ok. I shouldn't have been expecting you to drop everything and pick up where we left off like everything was fine. I can't tell we’ve both changed.” His eyes told a different story, but you didn't say as much.

“So, I guess I'll be seeing you around Hawkins. Come by the Hideout sometime. Maybe you can show these kids you can still rock.” You grinned as he laughed.

“Sure! I'll do that.” His smile grew, but you were unsure if he'd actually take you up on the offer.

“Well, I've got to get going.”

“I'll, uh… walk you out.”

You both stood, him leading the way opening the door as you began to descend the stairs.

“Hey Peach, maybe when you are ready to love someone again, don’t look so far, huh?”

You looked at him, brows pinched in confusion.

“What are you talking about Eddie?”

“You’ve always been oblivious when it comes to him.” Letting out a hearty chuckle. “Bye Peach. I’ll see ya’ around.”

You’ve always been oblivious when it comes to him.

Those words tumbled around in your head as you drove back home.

You didn't want to accept the fact that Eddie saw something you hadn't yet admitted to yourself.

A few days have passed since your conversation with Eddie. You felt you were in a better place, feeling lighter and finally allowing yourself to move on gaining the closure you finally needed.

Steve and Robin weren't entirely convinced. You outwardly seemed fine, but they hovered and watched to make sure you didn't shrink inside yourself.

It was Robin who suggested it.

“Why don't we have a sleepover? Just the three of us like old times?” She blurted out as you all met for lunch one afternoon.

“Who'd watch Maddie?” Steve asked. He didn't want to impose on anyone knowing she usually stayed with either of you if he was busy.

“I'm sure Vickie won't mind. Maddie loves her. Peach, you in?” Looking toward you, wide eyes seemingly begging.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

She couldn't contain the grin that spread across her face as she reached over and hugged you.

“Yes! I'll bring a couple of movies and we can make some popcorn. Could even bring my old sleeping bag. Camp out in the living room all night…”

“I'm stopping you right there Rob.” Steve cut her off before her rambling really picked up. “I’m not 18 anymore. My back and body aren't going to lay on the floor all night.”

You laughed out as she threw a fry at him.

“Party pooper.”

“Daddy, I wan see Peach! I wan go with you and Bobby!” Maddie was protesting from the back seat as he drove over to drop her off with Vickie for the night.

“It's for adults only tonight. You stay at Peach's all the time it's daddy and Bobby's turn. Right? It's not fair you get to have all the fun.” He watched through the rearview as her scrunched brows softened as she thought over his words.

“Just for one night Daddy!” She finally settled down.

“Right, baby. One night.” He let out a small laugh, smiling to himself knowing how much she loves you as she finally busied herself with looking out the window.

He pulled into Robin's, helping Maddie from her seat as she made a beeline for the door. Knocking excitedly, not giving Steve a second glance when Robin opened it.

“Hey bug! Vickie's in the kitchen getting some yummy snacks together.” She said, bending down to greet her.

She stood, meeting Steve carrying all of Maddie's overnight gear.

“Hey Dingus!” She said, taking her small Baby Bop backpack from him.

“Ready to go?” He placed the rest of her stuff on the couch.

“Uh… about that.” He snapped his head toward her. “Don't get mad, but I'm not going.” She anxiously smiled, trying to deflect, holding up her hands.

“This was your idea, Robin! What do you mean you aren't going?” He huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

“And this was also my idea. You can go have a nice night. Look,” she produced a couple of rentals. “You can watch a couple of movies and talk about your feelings. Perfect! And you'll have all night to do…things. Whatever you get up to.”

She grinned wide, proud of herself and her foolproof plan as she looked back at his very unamused frown.

“Steve, just listen to me. She turned Eddie down and it's so painfully obvious to everyone but you two. You're both idiots. Just talk to her! Tell her how you feel! I'm tired of seeing you mope around.”

“I do not mope, and I just don't think I should bring it up right now.” He sighed, already exasperated.

“When's the right time, Steve? You've had 7 years to make a move. You know where she stands with Eddie. It's now or never!”

She grabbed his hand, pulling him toward and out the door.

“Now go!” Shoving the VHS tapes into his chest.

“Have fun!” Slamming the door in his face, not letting him argue or protest.

“Shit.” He breathed out, knowing she was right.

You'd gotten the house ready. Grabbing extra blankets for the living room, in case Robin held you to actually staying in there all night.

It would be good for you to spend time with them.

You totally hadn't been ignoring Steve because you were trying to hide from him and your rather obvious feelings, right?

After Eddie's comment it had you questioning everything. You and Steve were best friends, he wasn't in love with you. Was he?

Your inner crisis had to wait as you heard the front door open.

The hugs that lasted a little longer, the soft touches and sweet looks… fuck.

“Peach?” Steve called out.

“In the kitchen! I'm making your favorite by the way.” You called back, as he came into view.

“Hi.” He grinned, waving as he entered, sitting his overnight bag down on the counter.

“Hi. Where's Rob?” You looked past him, expecting her to follow in behind.

“Uh, she's not feeling well.” He placed his hands into his pockets, shrugging. “Guess it's just us tonight.”

“And that's a bad thing? You look like someone kicked your puppy.” You eyed him warily.

“No, I just didn't want you to be disappointed. S’all.” Shrugging again as he took a seat at the bar, noticing the way his cheeks blushed slightly. Steve was so painfully pretty. The way his shirt was tight over his chest and biceps when he leaned his arms on the counter, had you staring just a little too long.

“Why would I be disappointed? You're my best friend Steve. I love spending time with you.” You smiled, and turned back to the stove, trying to hide the way that your own cheeks heated at your thoughts.

“Steve, are you okay?” Knocking him from his current train of thought.

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. He didn't need any reminders. His head and heart were both at odds with themselves already. And you were standing there looking absolutely beautiful in just a hoodie and some old shorts, his hoodie. Fuck.

“Hmmm, yeah. I'm fine. Need some help?” He smiled, trying to hide any hint of discomfort.

You put him to work chopping some veggies for a salad. It was easy with him. The way you both moved so fluid around the kitchen. Easing around each other because you've done it a million times before.

Steve was relaxing a little more as you chatted and got the rest of the food prepared but you could tell something was still bothering him.

“Hey Stevie,” catching his attention with a cupcake you pulled from a covered dish on the counter. “Want to ruin our appetites with dessert first?”

“Yes, please. God, I love your cupcakes.” He went to take it, but you pulled it back just out of reach, making him frown with his perfect pouty lips on display. Perfectly pouty and kissable lips.

You slowly peeled the liner from the spongy cake, as he watched you intently.

“You can have one, once you tell me what's bugging you.” You took a bite, with an over exaggerated hum of satisfaction. “Mmmm, so good.”

Frosting was left behind on your lip, that you quickly licked away, he couldn't help but watch the way your mouth moved. It was so unfair the way you were torturing him without even knowing it.

You, on the other hand, were completely aware of the way he was currently licking his own lips watching you.

“Here, have a bite you pouty baby.” Relenting and pushing the cake up toward him.

Instead of letting him take a bite, you shoved it a little upward. Frosting now dotting the end of his nose and top lip, he put his hands on his hips as you flew into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, yeah okay. Laugh it up.” Tongue in his cheek, trying not to give himself away. It was good to hear your laughter. Opposed to the tears you'd been shedding the last couple of times he's seen you.

He turned, dragging his finger through the frosting of another cake and holding it up.

“Paybacks a bitch, Peach.” Wiggling it toward you.

“No, Steve. No.” You started to back up but were caught in the corner of the counter. Nowhere to run as he advanced toward you.

He quickly grabbed the wrist that was still holding onto the chocolatey cake so you couldn't use it against him, as you tried to push him away, but his arms were longer than yours, hand pressed to his chest, still protesting. Easily maneuvering, he plopped the frosting at the end of your nose.

“There now we're even.” His laughter rang out, but he didn't make an attempt to pull away just yet wondering if you were going to try to keep this little game going.

You smiled, watching the way his eyes crinkled with his big, bright grin but then it suddenly felt too hot in the small space. His chest expands with each breath, warm beneath your fingers. All too aware when his laughter faded, and you were left staring at each other.

“Steve?” You asked, almost breathless.

“Yeah?” He searched your eyes for an answer. Anything to give him the go ahead.

“You can let go of my wrist now.”

“Right, sorry.” He let go, but you still felt his lingering warmth. He'd touched you countless times before but this felt different.

You reached for the napkins beside you, wiping the frosting from your nose. He stood there watching you until you pressed the napkin to his face, wiping the remnants from him as well. He exhaled a little loudly, as if he had been holding his breath.

He backed up, but you grabbed his forearm, holding his gaze, his caramel, mossy lined eyes staring back at you curiously.

You didn't realize the moment you inched forward, but your feet and body seemed to be moving on their own accord.

“Steve?” Inching forward still.

“Yeah?” He swallowed, eyes darting down to your lips and back up.

“Do… you want to kiss me?” Coming out a little raspy.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He asked, hesitantly reaching his hands up to rest on your hips.

Your hand travels to his cheek, stubble prominent from the day scratching at your palm as your thumb barely traces his bottom lip. Hearing his breath hitch sends you into overdrive.

His fingertips find the exposed skin at your side as your (his) hoodie rides up, gripping just a little harder onto your plush, warm skin.

You're telling yourself to stop, but the back of your mind is telling you to dive, to fall headfirst because he'll be there to catch you, no matter what happens.

Your nose finally grazes his, chests pressing together. You close your eyes, lips grazing his as you speak.

“Is this what you want?”

His only answer is closing the small distance between you.

The moment your lips meet it feels like they tell you how it's supposed to feel in all those fairytales and movies. All those stories could never prepare you for the reality of it. Like it was always meant to be.

It was warm sunshine on your skin after winter’s long embrace. Heating you from the inside out.

His lips are softer than you expected, faintly tasting of the cherry Chapstick he always keeps in the car, as your lips mold perfectly to his.

He gently tilts his head, nose pushed into your cheek. He’s pulling your hips into his, tongue grazing your bottom lip, a silent plea as you grant him the access he so desperately craves.

He's dreamt of this very moment more times than he would like to admit.

He's hoping, praying it isn't a dream he's going to wake up from at any moment. He's barely had a taste and can't get enough. He'll never have enough of you.

His mind's racing, your lips, tongue, the way you taste. It's all he can think about.

Your tongues glide along one another, as your hand reaches the nape of his neck, trying to pull him closer as he backs you up into the counter.

Your kiss gets a little more needy, pulling at each other.

Pushing his hips into yours, his hard length presses into your lower stomach as he swallows another wanton moan drawn from you.

He surprises you when his hands suddenly wander to your ass kneading a moment before hauling you up quickly to sit on the counter making you break away from him with a loud squeak, hanging onto his neck.

He easily slots himself between your parted thighs bringing his forehead to yours, gently squeezing the plush of your hips, then moving to rest his hands on each of your thighs. Thumbs rubbing softly across your bare skin, just skimming under the fabric of your thin shorts.

His eyes were blown wide, as he stared down at you. The caramel mossy irises now just a small ring, rimmed around the almost black pools full of lust mixed with adoration.

“Is… is this, okay?” He asks, giving you an out.

“Yeah, Stevie. It's better than okay.” You rake your fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

“I.." "we" you both began.

Laughing at the absurdity of it all. This was Steve, your best friend for the better part of your lives but it was suddenly a little stifling.

You felt bashful under his gaze. Cheeks heating at the possibilities of what might come next.

You wanted him. All of him. Knowing right then and there that one night would never be enough with him.

Grabbing the front of his shirt, you pulled him forward with ease as your lips meet once more. The timidness long gone; you were both greedy. In dire need of more.

Your hands grasp the fabric in your hold, as his begin to roam. Up past your thighs, landing on your hips once more. Trailing up a little further under the hoodie, his fingers found your exposed waist. The soft touch sending goosebumps across your flesh and a little spark to your core making you release a breathy moan that made him grin into your kiss, knowing just his touch could pull those sweet little sounds from you.

His thumb grazed the underside of your breast, making you keen into his touch, craving more, rolling your hips forward looking for a little friction.

Realizing you weren't wearing a bra underneath, he groans, pulling away slightly as if asking for permission, searching your face for any hesitation. You nod quickly, unable to hide your desperation.

His lips found your jaw as his large hand engulfed you fully under your shirt, kneading you softly before his thumb grazes over your nipple causing it to peak stiffly under his touch.

“Fuck, Steve.” You whine out, pushing your chest further into his palm, your head falling back, exposing more of your throat to him.

His lips find a sweet spot right below your jaw, sucking lightly before soothing it with his hot tongue.

You slowly move your hand down his chest and abdomen, hesitating just a moment before you find the outline of his stiff cock beneath his jeans. He hisses lowly as you palm him, breath hitching, hips bucking on their own, as he stops his current ministrations.

“Peach, I… fuck…” his forehead meets yours, arm curling around your waist, pulling you toward him as your core finally meets him.

You roll your hips into his, clit catching on the denim through the fabric that separates you so cruelly, wrapping your legs around his lithe waist holding him there as you moan in unison.

You look up at him through your lashes, he looks as wrecked as you feel, and he hasn't even touched you where you need him the most.

His eyes are closed tightly, brow pinched, and lips parted, releasing a shaky exhale.

“Steve?” You ask.

“Hmmm? Yeah?” Finally looking at you.

“Bedroom?” You smile, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Yes. Fuck, please.” He nodded, helping you down from the counter. Your body pressed tightly to his as you slid down.

He grinned that soft, lopsided smile as you took his hand in yours pulling him out of the kitchen. He held onto you tightly as you raced up the stairs, giggling like a couple of horny teens.

Pushing your bedroom door open, you swallowed the lump that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as he hesitated at the threshold. An invitation to your bedroom meant more than just sleeping over as friends.

There was a line drawn that you were about to cross. It would mean something more, be something more.

Kissing him had been toeing the line, this would be jumping headfirst.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked whether for you or him you weren't sure.

"I'm sure. I want you, Steve. I… I need you.”

He crossed the threshold, kicking the door shut behind as he entered. Closing the small distance between you in just a few short strides.

One arm snaked around your back, the other palm to your cheek, fingers extending into your hair.

He pulled your face close, nose gliding down the slope of yours as your forehead met his. You moved your hands, one to his bicep and the other on top of the hand that held your cheek.

"Say it again, please." His lips grazed your top lip as he spoke. Wanting to take your mouth fully but he needed to hear those words once more. Making sure it's what you want. Confirming you want this just as badly as he does.

"Steve, I want you. I want all of you.”

That was all it took. His lips met yours once more. A searing kiss but had you begging for more. It was sloppy, teeth and tongues clashing.

He moved forward into your space, your hips meeting his. Taking the hint, you started to walk backwards toward the bed all the while, your lips massaged across his.

When you reach the edge of the bed, he guides you back to lay down. Caging you in. Slotting himself between your thighs as he pressed his clothed length where you need it the most, rolling his hips slightly.

He suddenly stops, body a little rigid and huffs out a small laugh fanning out across your face.

“What? What is it?” Searching his features, a little dopey smile as he pinched his nose.

"Fuck. I uh…," he giggled then. "I don't have a condom; not like I've had any action in… oh I don't know. How old is Maddie, again?"

You lightly smacked his arm and laughed out as well.

It was so sweet, watching him struggle with the words but you weren't any better off.

You looked at him, all innocent eyes when you spoke.

“Thank God for birth control, right? I'm on the pill Steve. You can even cum in me, if you want.”

His dick throbbed with your words, as he buried his head into your neck and groaned.

“You can't say shit like that. I'm already so fucking hard.”

“I know, I can tell. Now take your clothes off.” Nipping lightly at his jaw.

In one swift motion, he sits back on his heels, pulling his shirt over his head. You can't help but admire his bronzed body, still kissed by the summer sun. You've seen him shirtless plenty of times, but it was like seeing him for the first time in a new light.

Your eyes follow the hair from his chest down to the top of his jeans.

“Your turn.” He smirks, as he helps you sit up, taking it upon himself to find the hem of his hoodie and pull it up slowly over your body.

The moment you can't see, hoodie up over your eyes, your chest is exposed. You hear his breath hitch just a moment before you feel his lips latch to your pert nipple. So caught off guard, you barely wrenched the fabric off of your head letting out an obscenely loud moan as he lays you back on the mattress.

“Fuck, Steve.” Your hands find his hair and tugs as he moves to the other, swirling his tongue over you. His hand glides down your soft stomach slipping past the top of your shorts.

You suck in a breath, as his fingers brush past your clit, delving between your already soaked folds making your back arch off the bed with a whine.

His mouth leaves you with a pop.

“You're soaked, honey.” He grins, pulling his hand away, placing his lips back across your chest.

“Tease,” you cry out as he smiles against your skin.

He pulls back once more, hooking his fingers into your shorts, pulling them down and tossing them somewhere across the room. He takes a moment to appreciate you. Eyes not sure where to land.

“You're so beautiful, Peach.” He hums, getting up to pull his own pants off. He unbuttons them, locking eyes with yours, pushing them and his boxers down in one swift motion.

You knew he was big, but all those rumors from high school were true, he was huge. Your mouth hung open just a little, as you watched him spit into his palm bringing it back down to tug on his stiff cock. He was long and thick, curving slightly upward. His ruddy tip leaking a pearly bead of precum, as his thumb glides over the top smearing it back down his length.

“Fuck, Steve.” The sight has your cunt clenching around nothing, aching to be filled.

He crawls back over you, pushing your thighs apart, so he can see your pussy on full display for him. Your folds glisten with your slick, making his cock kick up at the sight before him.

“All that for me? Fuck… Peach, I'm going to be honest with you. I need to feel you, I need to be inside of you but I'm probably not going to last.”

You giggle at his confession, endearing as it was.

“It's okay, I need you too. Please, just fuck me, Steve.”

Your words, your body, everything has such an effect on him. He's afraid as soon as he gets in he's going to blow his load right then and there.

He leaned in to kiss you once more. Less feverish, less needy. Languidly his lips move against yours. Tongues intertwined, tasting and taking from each other all you were willing to give.

He was leaned up on one arm by your head, reaching between you both, fingers dancing across your slit before pushing through your folds, easing into your entrance.

Your head flew back at the sudden intrusion, mouth going slack, as he began to circle your clit with his thumb pumping his fingers slightly.

“So fucking tight, I… fuck. I need you.”

He pulled his fingers away, taking hold of himself and slid it in between your folds. Bumping your clit, once, twice, three times, moaning out his name. He could die a happy man hearing you so breathless for him just for him.

He lined himself up with your entrance. The tip slightly breaching, already feeling like he's going to split you open.

He pressed in, inch by inch, already keening into him from the feeling of his girth breaching your walls, filling you completely. You moaned into each other's mouths. No longer kissing, exchanging short, labored breaths.

Your eyes were closed, relishing in the stretch, the slight burn trying to accommodate him as he bottomed out.

"Steve," you breathed out.

"Mmmm, yeah?" Almost too gone in the feeling of you.

"You can move." You giggled, as he groaned again.

"Yeah, just… I need just a minute." He breathed out, a little ragged. Trying to compose himself.

You let out a small giggle as you nodded.

"Don't, I can feel you moving when you laugh. You're clenching me.”

"Sorry, Stevie." You kissed his forehead, at the same time he moved his hips, withdrawing almost all the way before sheathing himself back in, burying himself completely.

Whatever you were about to say, died on your lips as you gasped, the feeling knocking the breath from you.

He set a pace that had you both moaning. You gripped his shoulders to ground yourself in the feeling of him.

"Oh God, Steve. Y'… You feel so good." He wasn't rushing, his pace near languid. You could feel every ridge and vein moving within your walls.

He hummed in response.

"You feel so much better than I could have imagined. So fucking tight, so fucking warm."

"You thought about this alot, hmm?" You quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. I have." He kissed your lips once more. A peck before slightly picking up the pace.

In and out. In and out. The heat in your belly started to pool. He was stimulating that spot within you with each pass, as your cunt fluttered around him.

“Fuck, are… are you close?” He hissed out, hips starting to lose their rhythm.

“Yeah, but I know you are too. Cum in me Steve.”

Your words hurdled him over the edge. His lower stomach tightened as he began to spill within you. Thick ropes of his cum painted your walls. A few more languid thrusts, he stilled. Falling forward, chests pressed impossibly close. He let his head fall in the juncture of your neck.

You reached up, fingers playing with his hair lightly at the nape of his neck.

“I'm so sorry. You… I thought you might be closer. It's just been so long, and you felt so fucking good.” Coming out a little muffled, lips pressed to your skin.

“Steve,” you pressed on his chest, “it's okay.”

“No, no. It's not. Can I taste you? I just want you to feel good too.” Sitting up, his face lit up at the prospect.

“Yeah, but you just came…”

“It's ok baby, just lay back. I'll take care of you.” His lips curled into a devilish smirk, as he finally pulled out his softening cock. His spend leaking slowly out of you, onto the sheets below.

“God, you're a mess baby.”

He pulled your legs apart, pushing himself onto the mattress, face so close to where you wanted him. His broad palm held one thigh, as he began trailing light kisses to the other.

“Please, don't tease me.” You whined, as his tongue licked a broad strip up your folds, the tip circling your clit, effectively cutting you off.

“Oh fuck, Steveeeee.” You whined out, hips bucking up, as he pushed you back down, pinning you in place.

His lips sucked your clit harshly, tongue swirling over the bundle of nerves setting you a blaze, humming as you tugged his tousled locks.

His finger circled your entrance, a mixture of his cum and your arousal making it easy to slip his finger in, pulling it back and quickly adding another.

He began pumping, then curling upward to reach that spot that would have you seeing stars in no time.

“Oh, Steve.” Breathless, as you brought your hands up to your breasts pinching your nipples. It didn't go unnoticed, as he groaned watching you.

“Fuck, your perfect,” he murmured into your pussy. Quickly pressing his tongue back to you moving rapidly, fingers continuing their assault against your frontal wall.

“Right… right there. Don't stop!” He kept the pace, lifting his eyes to watch you come undone.

Your eyes fluttered closed, brows pinched tight with concentration. You were so close now.

A few more licks and fingertips brushing that perfect spot, you gasped out. It felt like you were on fire from the inside out. It was pure bliss as those fireworks flew behind your eyes.

“That's it, baby. Come on my fingers. Come f’me.”

He worked you through it, until you had to push his mouth away.

He slowly crawled up to lay beside you as you tried to slow your heavy breathing, opening your eyes to him grinning wide, a sheen of arousal still coated his chin before he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

“Hi,” turning onto your side to face him as he does the same.

“Hi. Was… was that, ok?” He asked a little sheepishly.

“That was amazing, Stevie.” You giggled. “You might have to work on your stamina a little.”

He grabbed a pillow and threw it at you, laughing out, hauling you into his chest. The laughter subsided as you stared up at him, hand splayed over his heart.

“Peach, I hope this isn't a one-time thing… Fuck.” He rolled over on his back, covering his face with his hands, as he groaned. You could tell he was at odds with himself.

Reaching up, you tugged his wrist lightly.

“Hey, look at me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. With you. You… don't regret it, do you?” Sinking into yourself at the thought.

“God no. I… I just… I'm in love with you. I think I've always been in love with you. I don't think I can go back to the way things were… if this… if you…” He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh, ready for a letdown.

“I know, Stevie. I want this. I want us. You, me and Maddie. I can't imagine my life without you. I love you, Steve Harrington. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it.”

His raised up, eyes softening at your admission. Hand coming to cradle your head, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nodding, as your lips meet.

After what felt like hours of talking, he slowly fucked you into the mattress. The urgency was no longer there, and you were free to explore each other slowly.

Whispering “I love yous”, kissing, touching. Seemingly making up for lost time.

He watched you fall apart beneath him as his cock split you open, spilling inside of you once more soon after.

As you laid beside each other, coming down from your highs, he whispered in the dark.

“Can I keep you?”

Your answer came with a kiss, wanting nothing more than to always be his.

You finally pulled yourselves away from bed, thoroughly spent. Showering together and then making it back down to the kitchen for cold spaghetti, long forgotten between confessions and a love drunk haze. You made sure he got a cupcake this time.

With full bellies and full hearts, you snuggled in close to him. Pressed into his side with your head on his chest.

You were happy, with a man that you were undoubtedly in love with, jumping in headfirst.

The sun brought soft kisses in between the sheets, reluctantly untangling yourselves knowing that Robin would be dropping Maddie by soon.

You sipped coffee together and cuddled close on the couch before making breakfast. It all came so naturally for the both of you.

He couldn't keep his hands off of you. Soft touches to your lower back as he passed by. Squeezing softly at your hips as he came up behind you, pressing his lips to your temple and you couldn't get enough.

The door opened just as you were about to sit down for your meal, tiny feet running quickly through the house.

“Peachhhhh! Daddyyyy!” Maddie yelled, bounding into the kitchen. Bright eyes and chubby cheeks, as she ran straight over to you.

“Hey baby!” Hugging her tightly to your chest as you picked her up. “Did you have a good time with Bobby?”

“Yeah, she let me stay up til’ late an… an then we eat popcorn, but I missed you.” She threw her small arms around your neck.

“Hey!” Robin walked in, throwing Steve a sideways glance.

He just grinned and took a sip of coffee, looking down at his cup as his cheeks heated, turning the slightest shade of pink.

“Well?” She asked, already knowing the answer with his flustered appearance.

“Uh, yeah, Rob. We uh… finally had that talk.” He said, leaning back on the counter, smirking toward you.

“Well, we are going to talk all about this. Not right now of course. Oh my God. I can't believe you finally did it! Steve, you look really happy, and I can tell by that grin you got la…” Slapping a hand over her mouth, realizing what she almost said in front of tiny ears.

“I mean you got… lasagna… Yeah.”

“Nice save, Rob.” You snorted, sitting Maddie down as she ran over to Steve. “He did get spaghetti though.”

“Is that… is that supposed to be code for something?” She looked confused between the two of you. “You know what, never mind. I'm leaving. I'll call later. Bye Maddie!” She called over her shoulder.

You turned, grabbing your coffee and looked over to Steve and Maddie chatting away in the corner. She was telling him all about her night, with big enthusiastic giggles.

Her big hazel eyes and fluffy morning hair, mirroring his perfectly.

He was so focused on her, face lit up with every little detail he didn't notice the way you were staring at them.

A little teary eyed, you were so full of happiness as you watched them. Ready to start a new journey with these people you loved.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #joe keery #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x female reader #Evermore #evermore steves ending

[gatoraid]

Rakugo references in One Room Angel

(Alert: this post includes spoilers)

One Room Angel, the BL drama directed by Eda Yuka, based on the manga of the same name by Harada, features quite a lot of references to rakugo. Angel seems to enjoy performing rakugo both now and in his past life, and a famous rakugo reference ends up being the key for uncovering Angel’s past memories.

So, what is rakugo and what are the rakugo stories referenced in One Room Angel?

In short, rakugo is a form of traditional comedic storytelling, that was born during the Edo period. It’s been around for about 300 years now. In a way it could be compared to stand-up comedy, except in stand-up, every performer has their own stories/jokes, whereas in rakugo the performers (rakugoka) mostly perform existing rakugo stories, bringing their own flair to them. Rakugoka use only their voice and expressions, plus simple tools like a paper fan (or chopsticks in Angel's case) and a folded tenugui towel to evoke different characters, settings and items in the story. 

Since rakugo was born during the Edo period and was considered entertainment for ordinary people, many classical (kotenrakugo) stories make references to everyday Edo life. There are also new rakugo stories (shinsakurakugo) being written and performed by rakugoka nowadays. 

The two rakugo stories referenced in One Room Angel, Manjuu kowai ( まんじゅうこわい, ”I’m afraid of manju”) and Jugemu (寿限無/じゅげむ) are both classical rakugo. My Japanese teacher told me that these two stories are usually taught to kids at school, so even without ever seeing a live rakugo performance, most Japanese people would be familiar with them.

Manjuu kowai is the story that Angel is repeatedly seen performing. The story starts with an introduction talking about how different people have different tastes, likes and fears. The story itself is about a man who claims that he is afraid of manju (a bun filled with sweet bean paste), and when his friends try to play a prank on him by filling his house with manju, proceeds to eat them and then wonders if he should next tell them that he’s afraid of tea. I really don't think there's any deeper meaning for why they chose this particular story, other than that it's so well known.

Jugemu is a story about a boy with a ridiculously long name. When he was born, his parents asked a Buddhist monk suggestions for a good name that would ensure a long life. After getting a list of names, the parents couldn’t choose just one, so they ended up naming their son Jugemu Jugemu Goko no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu Ku Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yabura Koji no Bura Koji Paipo-paipo Paipo no Shuringan Shuringan no Gurindai Gurindai no Ponpokopi no Ponpokona no Chokyumei no Chosuke.

The comedy of the story partly comes from the rakugoka’s ability to recite the long name with amazing speed, and from how inconvenient such a long name is when you just want to have a normal conversation.

Jugemu is referenced in the twitter username tks_jugem2, and Kouki is able to guess the password for the account based on Jugemu’s full name (ie what comes after two Jugemus). 

The irony that a boy who ended up dying so young had a username based on a boy whose million names were meant to ensure a long life is not lost on me. I’m not sure if that was actually what Harada intended in the og story at all, maybe it’s just me overthinking, but it makes this whole thing even sadder.

Fun fact: in the manga, the password was not spelled out for the reader like it was in the drama, you had to figure it out yourself if you wanted to access a website that is linked at the end of the manga that features a special bonus drawing. I think you can still find the link at the end of the english edition of One Room Angel manga on MangaPlanet’s website.

If you want to know more about rakugo, I definitely recommend checking out Descending Stories/ Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu. It's a story about two rival rakugoka, and it showcases the culture and stories of rakugo with love and detail. The original manga was drawn by the famous BL mangaka Kumota Haruko, so even if it’s not strictly BL, I think BL lovers will enjoy it (I sure did). The manga has been licensed in english by Kodansha and there is also a beautiful anime adaptation and a live action drama!

Online sources: JP and ENG wikipedia, NHK for School

#one room angel #bl talk #bl drama #harada #I've heard that your posts won't show up in the search if you add links to your posts so idk what to do with posts like this in the future #like how do I properly add sources and links to where to watch or read #sighhh tumblr

[bengiyo]

Love is Better the Second Time Around Ep 6 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, so much happened. Iwanaga tried to get Miyata to move in, but it was too soon for Miyata. Iwanaga's cousin showed back up to start shit, and also revealed he was the one who spooked Miyata when they were teens. Iwanaga's family wants him to come back home now that he serves a use for them since his sister is marrying a foreigner and leaving Japan. Despite Miyata trying to stick with Iwanaga, all this drama came between them and we left at them parting. It was a kinda frustrating speed run.

Not Iwanaga smoothing over any work troubles Miyata might face. I'm so frustrated for them!

Wow, Miyata's doing so poorly! Look at this apartment.

Girl, do not go to that man's house drunk like this.

This lamp continues to haunt me.

Oh good, Shiraishi appears. Let's have one more bitchy fight before the end.

Wow that was actually really nice of Shiraishi. Is he okay?

Man, I'm not sympathetic to this mom at all.

I hate this Kyosuke guy so much holy shit.

I like that the bet was far less malicious than Miyata thought.

Miyata, why would you tell the villain your plan?

Why is Sugimoto suddenly helpful and honest? I don't trust this.

I can accept the mom just deciding to let them have it for now. This whole situation is too broken to mend over a single conversation.

Finishing the series by this lake and then having them catch the train they missed 14 years ago is pretty, but I feel like we didn't finish the story with Iwanaga.

Final Verdict: 7, This Should Have Been a 10. I don't know what happened after episode 4 and why they decided to derail their own show about the second chance these two had, but this was such a disappointment in the final third of this show. This is as baffling as many of the failed Thai BL outings of recent months. I was really enjoying the relationship repair aspect of this story. I deeply resent this show spending the finale on the idea that somehow Miyata is the one who messed up for not questioning the scheming cousin 14 years ago, and that he should just take the leap on Iwanaga. He had valid reasons to doubt here. I do not think we gained anything of use in this story from spending time with Iwanaga's family, and it left us without a crisis moment for Iwanaga to make a choice with Miyata. They never get to become a team together. We end on Miyata just jumping in on it. This is so disappointing.

#Ben watches #love is better the second time around #koi wo suru nara nidome ga joto #japanese bl #bl series

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Top 5 bl kisses of 2023! :)

There were so many good kisses this year, and I couldn't pick just 5, so here's an incomplete list of many that made me crazy, in no order whatsoever. I will attempt to not yell about why I loved them (much)

My Personal Weatherman rooftop in the rain kiss. Kisses that follow confessions slash come after Big Feelings happen are so important

I Feel You Linger In The Air dancing in the rain kiss.

Just... Ugh. Every scene they're in, you can feel how much they want each other, and it spills everywhere here

Sand and Ray's shotgun kiss (and also all their kisses) made me feel insane. I love them unreasonably, and First and Khao are so good at making you feel every single thing. Their AkkAyan kisses in The Eclipse Our Skyy 2 were also incredible. The way they embody their characters and their feelings -- physically and emotionally -- is stunning to watch

PalmNueng's "we're boyfriends" kiss. Pond puts his whole body into their kisses, and when he finally allowed himself to touch back? *screams*

Jae Won and Ji Hyun's reunion kiss. The relief and the want just poured off the screen. I hope these two are in something else soon, they were incredible.

Kinguea's boundaries conversation kiss.

Consent is sexy, and so are they. (I had a hard time choosing between this and the kitty ears kiss, but 🤷🏼‍♀️)

JengPat car kiss.

They want each other so much. Man and Ben have incredible chemistry. When Pat pulled Jeng back in? Unf.

Jaab and Jen's pinky promise kiss. They teetered on this edge of almost for so long, and this kiss where they're literally bridging the space between them was beautiful.

Every single kiss between these two was beautiful. The first kiss, with Ze Rui ckiming into Zong Yi's lap after that moment of hesitation? Incredible. The couch kiss when Zong Yi presses Ze Rui's hands over his head? I made an embarassing sound. The reunion kiss, whrer there's a moment where Ze Rui thinks he's still dreaming broke my heart. (More than honorable mention to Cheng Yi and Ai Di kisses).

I need these two in more things.

Patts and Tai's on the floor kiss, when Tai finally let himself want Patts. The wonder on Patts face, and Tai's embracing his desire for the first time was beautiful.

Also, gifless kisses, because this is getting out of hand:

Tew and Guy's "we're boyfriends" kiss. Meen and Ping have beautiful chemistry

CharlieBabe's first kiss. 'Nuff said.

Venus and Sky, basically all of them. Cheque and Tod commit to the kisses and the sexy times like whoa.

JoongDunk... I mean JokeZo's "pulled him inside just to melt his brain and kicj him out again" kiss. JoongDunk delivered.

Shang Zhuo ans Shun Yu's "we're boyfriends" kiss. These two give good kiss.

Honestly, there were so many good kisses this year. These are just some of the ones that made me insanest.

(Sorry this is a mess, visually. I ended up using like, 4 different programs for the gifs and they're a mess. I didn't keep track of the gif sources like I should have, so if you see your gif please lmk so i can credit you.

Sorry this posted incomplete the first time!)

#bl kisses #top5

[the-conversation-pod]

Winter 2024 Teaser

And we're back!

We have been recording so much for you all this season! We completed the first year of the show, and what a year it has been!

We've made a lot of friends through this show, and even picked up some help from @ginnymoonbeam and @lurkingshan who got to produce their own episode!

To complete the year, we are opening our longest season by discussing the big shows from the Fall, including Only Friends, I Feel You Linger in the Air, and What Did You Eat Yesterday? 2, before wrapping up the year with a packed Grab Bag episode.

As is our tradition, we will then have our Five-Part Very Important Internet BL Awards, covering our awards for Acting, Ships, Production, Best in Class, and Special Class Awards.

We'll then close out the season with our Lagniappe episode as always and hear from some of the listeners.

Enjoy teaser for the season.

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming Soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

[The teaser opens with the pod team chatting in a bar together.]

NiNi

Okay guys, so we are alive on the site of our annual–hopefully it's annual–podcast team staff meeting.

Ginny

Ohh! 

[Shan laughs]

Nini

And we just gonna give us, like, a little five-minute live about, like, what's—what's occurring? What's going on with the peeps? So, everybody say “hi.” Ben, say “Hi.”

Ben

“Whaddup?”

NiNi

Shan, say “hi.” 

Shan

“Heyo.”

Nini

Ginny say “hi.” 

Ginny

“Heyo!”

NiNi

And here's NiNi! So…

[Cut back to the normal recording booth.]

Ben

And we're back. Welcome to year two of The Conversation…

Ohh, let me try it again. [Strums fingers on desk. NiNi laughs]

I got this.

NiNi

Do you? Do you?

Ben

Yeah, I got this.

NiNi

Okay.

Ben

And we're back. Welcome to year two of The Conversation! Hello, NiNi.

NiNi

Oh my God, we've been doing this for a fucking year. How did we survive the last year? We did? I don't know how? But we did.

Ben

We survived it through sheer gumption and the Type-A planning of all of your lists that keep us organized between seasons.

NiNi

[laughs] I do be doing a lot.

Ben

This show is a BL podcast featuring two goofy-ass Millennials from the Caribbean who watch way too much BL.

NiNi

I mean, that's a good description.

Ben

NiNi, how would you describe me to the viewers?

NiNi

How would I describe Ben to the viewers?

Ben is… an intellectual. Ben is the kind of man who enjoys French film, I think.

Ben

I do. I actually watched one, like, two weeks ago.

NiNi

You see, I knew it. I knew it. Ben’s always getting me together, and that's the best part of our friendship. Ben is gathering me gently at all times—and I need to be gathered—sometimes, should be told, because I just be going off in too many different directions. 

So, a whole year with you. I have had a fabulous time so far, sir. And here's to many more.

How would you describe me?

Ben

You are a Thai BL girlie set upon by my goddamn queer cinephile sensibilities, who continues to put up with them.

[both laugh]

NiNi

I’m sorry [laughs]—I like other things!

Ben

I'm sorry. The Philippines is out of commission.

NiNi

[laughs] Rude. Accurate, but rude.

Ben

You're somebody with a really strong background in theater and dramatic storytelling who really appreciates the heightened drama aspects of the way Thailand approaches BL. The more telenovela BL becomes, or the more like big-romance-dramatic BL becomes—particularly in Thailand—the more fun you seem to have. 

And over the course of the last year when we've been unpacking these shows, we've been talking about where these shows really land emotionally for NiNi, who's into this for a lot of the fun and some of the camp and the way the romance plays out. And how I end up mostly focused on the queer truth that I can get out of these stories, and how strongly they resonate, and also how well put together these things are. 

We are the podcast for BL viewers who care about BL being genuinely good and not just fun.

[cuts back to the bar conversation]

NiNi

We are just doing like a little bit about—let's, let's pick a topic that's not gonna, like, piss off anybody too much.

Ben 

No! Let's start where we were—

[Shan laughs]

Ginny

You turned it on right when we were pissing people off!

[Shan laughs]

Ben

I am six drinks in. We're going in. Only Friends sucks— 

[NiNi laughs]

—and it made us like First and Khaotung less.

NiNi

Oh no…

Shan

Listen, it's the truth. 

Ben

Like! 

Shan

They were not the moment in this show.

Ben

Going into this show, Ginny and I were very quietly FK girlies.

[Shan and Ginny laugh]

Shan

Not that quietly.

Ben

You were not in our DMs!

[Everyone laughs]

Shan

I could feel the energy coming from your DMs!

[cuts back to the recording booth]

NiNi

It's been an interesting year for us. There have been highs, there have been lows, there have been arguments—very polite ones. There have been agreements. There's been a lot happening in the last year in the BL space and we're gonna talk about it really all through the winter season.

Season 5. Five seasons of this.

So we're going to talk about the things that we watched in the fall. We are going to talk about 2023 as a whole and what we got out of it. And it's winter, so you know what that means? We're going to give out some VIIB Awards.

Ben

I'm very excited for the VIIB Awards. It is the most contentious I think I have felt with you since we started doing all of this. Normally, I'm just excited to talk with you about things. I have never felt more antagonistic!

NiNi

Ben put on his eye black and he said, “What we not ‘bout to do!” 

[Ben laughs]

“These vibes you be feeling, that's all well and good. This is not the Vibes Awards, okauy? This is the VIIB Awards.” [NiNi laughs]

Ben

These are the Very Important Internet BL Awards.

NiNi

He's like, “You're gonna have to come with actual arguments.”

Ben

We will! We say these things are better than the rest? You better be specific, because there is a wide field of contenders!

NiNi

A very wide field, and I think that's part of the story of this year as well. For all the ups and downs, it has been a big year, I think, for BL. I don't know if you feel the same way.

Ben

I do. I mean, that's the problem for this year that we'll get into as we talk about this. This year has had some of my favorite good productions that the genre has ever produced, and that has made it really difficult for the things that are not.

We are not lacking for choice in the good.

[cuts back to the bar conversation]

Ben

And this show made me hate them.

Ginny

To be, to be clear: I still, like, this show did not make me hate either of them individually. Like, Khaotung did some phenomenal performances. First matched them. Maybe you disagree, but I did not feel that way about it. Yeah.

NiNi

[waves at Ginny to continue] All right! We’re getting it! 

Ginny

But I—

NiNi

It's going to be quiet, but I'll get it.

Ginny

—something about the way it was set up, I just did not. I came out of it feeling less hype about them as a pair.

Shan

Mhmm. I was never really a FirstKhao girlie. Like, I'm not into the pairs in general. You all know that I like ‘em to mix and match. But, I'm just like—

NiNi/Ben

Yeah, that's better.

Shan

—I just feel like they're both… They've both been better with other people, especially First.

[cuts back to the recording booth]

NiNi

We've got a packed season for you. Ten! Count ‘em: ten! It's our longest season ever. Ten fabulous episodes.

Ben

[laughs] Wait. What the fuck, really?

NiNi

Yes. 

Ben

Okay. 

[NiNi laughs]

So, if you want to hear people be kind of sassy and way too serious, and be more than a little bit drunk about BL—

[NiNi laughs]

—for about 15 hours over the next, like six weeks, we are your show!

NiNi

This is the Brown Liquor Podcast. [laughs]

[cuts back to the bar conversation]

NiNi

All right, I think we're gonna see if we get, what we get out of that. I don't know how much we're gonna get out of that. We will see. We had to try. [NiNi laughs as the audio trails off]

#lgbtq #podcast #bl series #thai bl #winter series #season 5 #japanese bl #only friends the series #i feel you linger in the air #what did you eat yesterday? #kinou nani tabeta #ben and nini's conversations #the conversation #on art

[emotionallychargedtowel]

the persistent and the cute

Over the last few days, there’s been a really interesting discussion in the comments of my reblog of the gifset @tinngun​ put together of the Utsukushii Kare season 2 finale kiss. I’m transplanting it here because 1) it seems like @tinngun​ could use a break from all those notifications and so forth 2) the conversation was totally getting buried and I think it might be interesting to folks who probably wouldn’t see it without it being brought back out into a main post. So, first, here’s a quick recap of what I posted when I reblogged the gifset post in the first place. Well, the part that’s pertinent to this conversation, at least. I commented on the tropeyness of the scene, including allusions to Hira and Kiyoi’s sexual relationship, which (from what I hear) gets quite a bit of time in the novels but by virtue of TV as a medium, is mostly not portrayed in the series. In other words, since this part of the relationship isn’t shown directly the vast majority of the time, it has to be sketched out through these allusions, including what I’d consider coded language. 

With regard to the coded terms, I brought up something @bookittyboop​ had mentioned to me previously, that “persistent” and “cute” have specific meanings in BL/yaoi/other related genres. Basically, someone labeled as “persistent” is more active/forceful sexually and someone labeled as “cute” is yielding/more passive, with these roles being mutually reinforcing (i.e. the more yielding the “cute” person is, the more forceful the “persistent” person becomes).

Then I talked about the way Hagiwara Riku’s voice shifts in the line, “Sorry, Kiyoi. I can’t wait any longer tonight.” I had checked out some clips of other roles of his and noticed that among other things, he really seems to use his voice to differentiate between characters. This helped me to notice how distinct his “can’t wait” voice was, and I thought this was probably a voice belonging to the “persistent” part of the character. And I was less sure about this, but I thought Yagi Yusei was playing into this as well by reacting to the voice by kind of melting/going all floppy in response to it (he’d been fairly swoony before that, but it definitely seemed to be going up a notch there).

Then @xnoel, perennial fountain of information, pointed me to this quote from an interview translation (highlighting added):

So yeah, this seems like confirmation! I mean, what else would Yagi be referring to when he talks about “Hira’s ‘dark’ side” than this authoritative husky whisper thing?

Then I got some really great comments which I’m going to share here with permission, in part because I asked if anyone could point me toward more information on the “persistent”/”cute” thing.

The ever-helpful @nieves-de-sugui​ said:

a little bit of translation notes for your analysis! Hira is saying, literally, "I can't hold back (anymore)" and it's a very tropey sentence to say in BL (and shoujo) right before getting it on.  It's also the main indicator of taking over/taking charge of the sexual encounter. There's a lot of one taking over and the other giving in. (I think there's a lot here about how Japanese people relate to sex and how it should be done).

(I said I’d run into this trope in Kdramas before as well.)

And then the kind and knowledgeable @bookittyboop​ pretty much took me to school on the whole persistent/cute dichotomy! They left comments in two clusters at different times so I’m putting a little dinkus (the line of asterisks or symbol that marks a transition between sections) in there to show where that was. Oh, and I took out some greetings/closings and stuff like that for flow purposes. Here we go:

The best source I can think of (because otherwise this is the kind of thing your get through osmosis once you've watched enough Japanese media) is @absolutebl's post [link added by me] on the whipping boy trope, though there is more to it. I would classify Hira as a whipping boy/attack dog/service top and Kiyoi as more of a kuudere than a tsundere as well as a spoiled prince/pampered princess.

Their characterization and dynamic (and derivatives) is a staple not only in bl but in Japanese media. You've got a male character (Hira) who is the unassuming or even the loser archetype but unearths or shows a "manly" and protective side in benefit of his loved ones (many times after his "cowardice" or "uselessness" has let them be hurt) and slowly makes something of himself.

Then you got a (normally female) character who is  a combination of cold and aloof (kuudere) or prickly and explosive (tsundere) but actually wants to be cherished and uses the gruff exterior as a way to protect herself from heartache/rejection.

The first archetype normally admires the second and wants to be at their service while the second sees the potential in them and the adoration makes them feel safe. In normal circumstances the first character has a submissive personality and the other a domineering one. The second character is also going to find emotional vulnerability extremely difficult to express. But in certain circumstances, there is a "mom friend hack" button.

* * *

When character 2 opens up/shows vulnerability, character 1 identifies a need in the other to be cared for and takes confidence from being  chosen to provide that. There's also gap moe (duality cuteness) and horny "I'm gonna worship you so good you will forget everything else,” "gotta get top marks at satisfying you," and "you're so cute I wanna eat you up" buttons.

The second character in turn feels attracted, safe and tethered by that show of confidence and let's themselves (their barriers) go more and more . Those energies feed into each other and that's how you get to our kiss scene. Sometimes(Kiyoi's case) they add coyness and shyness ("no, that's too much you beast") because God forbid the tsundere/kuudere lacks plausible deniability when they go back to their senses. (there's a "baby it's cold outside"element too)

This is where @absolutebl​ chimed in to say they thought @bookittyboop​ was doing “a GREAT job” with this explanation.

And I agreed, and thanked them for the time and effort involved in such a useful explanation, but asked about the “mom friend hack” because it was new to me. Here was their explanation:

The mom friend is the responsible, caring one, prepared for any eventuality. If you're a generally anxious person but also the mom friend, you've got a hack where you handily navigate  situations which would normally be embarrassing or anxiety-inducing if it's for your loved one's benefit.

For example:

-Buying condoms, pregnancy tests, emetics or other "embarrassing" stuff

-telling waitstaff they got an order wrong and to please change it

-asking a teacher to explain something again or revise an exam score

-giving a jerk a piece of your mind

Basically, you may not be able to stand for yourself or even make perfectly mundane, normal requests for your own sake, but the power of love lets you rationalize things, be brave, and do it for others.

I just realized I probably didn't clarify enough. Hira's thing is not exactly a "mom friend hack" but it's similar to it in the sense that "being needed" lets him overcome a mental block.

And they added, re: my theory about Kiyoi’s response to the Persistent Voice:

As for the kiss voice and Kiyoi's reaction, I too am convinced that was all on purpose. Bl drinks from yaoi manga, which has a treasure trove of visual cues and tropes. If there was a manga version, we'd probably have seen Hira suddenly get wolfy ears and shiny eyes + Kiyoi blushing like a maiden (maybe a fade to black with the dirtiest onomatopoeia known to man) to signal someone's getting railed within an inch of his life 😂. This is the real life equivalent.

So, yeah. Lots to think about here. I’m glad to know I seemed to be on the right track. It’s funny how there is so much material out there about some tropes and genre terms (googling seme and uke will get you more results than you know what to do with) while other tropes are harder to find anything about. (If only because of the vagaries of search terms, which might be a factor here.) If nothing else I’ll have this post to refer back to and I hope others will do the same if they find it at all useful.

Thanks again to @bookittyboop​ and @nieves-de-sugui​ for their thoughts! And to the illustrious @absolutebl​ for chiming in with praise (for @bookittyboop​) and confirmation.

postscript:

There are a couple of things I keep noticing about that kiss scene since this discussion that I wanted to point out. I guess the fact that, due to both of my reblogs, I had a gifset of the scene at the top of my profile for three days probably has something to do with it.

First, I hadn’t noticed how much Kiyoi really is slipping into a “cute” persona even before the Persistent Voice is used--just in response to Hira’s first kiss. His eyes get very soft and he does that affectionate head-bonk but the pièce de résistance, to my mind, is the rather childlike way he sticks out the end of his tongue. So, yeah. The first stage of cuteness comes before the Voice is even used.

Second, I hadn’t even reckoned with just how floppy Kiyoi gets after the Voice. He’s swaying around so much that Hira keeps having to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. He’s gone almost boneless.

I guess it’s just really fascinating to me how this set of tropes can be so pervasive in one culture (or at least noteworthy chunks of it) and yet almost entirely novel to me. I mean, I was aware cultural differences existed, of course, but sometimes getting hit by the reality of them is still startling.

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare season 2 #utsukushii kare 2 #hira x kiyoi #persistent x cute trope #bl tropes

[huachengeye]

Only Friends Episode 8: And they were all messy

Hello there! Episode 8 has been out for some days now, but after watching a reaction os YT and scrolling through the comments, I wrote this piece to add my two cents to the whole Mew victimization and Ray the supreme asshole (I don't actually think he is tho).

For organization and better reading comprehension, I'm going to separate this into sections, starting off with Mew going wild, then Ray, the fandom's favorite broken boy, and ending up with little about the relationship of the friend group.

Mew, one of the nasties.

First off, I'm a Mew apologist. He is, in fact, my favorite character as of now, but I'm down to criticize the hell out of him, because loving is caring <3

I want to start with the whole discourse around his and Ray's relationship. The fandom seems to be separated into 3 categories (and yes, I'm generalizing a lot for the purpose of making my point): Mew apologists, Ray apologists, and everyone else who thinks they are as messy as everyone else without needing to explain their behavior.

In contradiction with my very first sentence, I belong to the third category in the sense I think they all do bad things to one another. Starting with Mew, we already know that he puts himself on a pedestal compared to his fucked-up friends, but my boy was kicked out of his high horse and now is like us, failed humans. One of the discourses I've been seeing, and that some characters in the series agree with (Cheum and Top), is that Mew is being dragged down by Ray. I completely disagree. Mew is an adult, and although he is experiencing heartbreak for the first time, the way he is acting is very realistic. Mew's first honest conversation with Top was about how he is afraid of getting his heart broken. He confided that to Top, about how he lives through his books because of his fears of getting hurt. And it happened exactly as he feared. It would be weird if he just behaved normally after finding out his boyfriend cheated on him with his friend. So his way of hurting is not hurting at all, is numbing his pain and he does it in the same way as Ray because that's the way he thinks it works.

As the theories go for this BL, I've seen a lot of people saying that it is Mew that it's enabling Ray's substance abuse. Honestly, in my opinion, they are using each other. Mew made it clear that he doesn't love Ray romantically, he said it himself in this episode, Ray is the one he should love. I genuinely don't think Mew is using Ray with the idea of making Ray drown more in his addiction, I think the reason Mew is clinging to Ray right now is the same reason Ray clings to him: they were there when the other was going through his worst time. They are like lifesavers to each other. In this sense, they are mutually using one another, the difference is that Ray is also clinging to the idea that he is in love with Mew, when it's already clear to us, the viewers, that this boat has sailed. If Ray was certain that he wanted a future with Mew, and Mew only, he would've let Sand go. Because Ray didn't go after Sand only when he was under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, he also went when he was sober, actively trying to keep Sand in his life, even if their relationship was never a friendship, and was always sexual/romantic (for Sand, at least).

Still analyzing Mew, I saw this brilliant post by @wen-kexing-apologist (this post right here, highly recommend for you to check it out) where they analyze Mew, and his personality (or lack of, for that matter). As soon as Mew told Top that he decorated his place with ideas from Pinterest I felt bothered, especially with his whole introduction in the first episode, about how he is the table keeper (I honestly don't remember how he worded it). I felt bothered but I couldn't quite say why, so when I read Wen Kexing Apologist's analysis, it all made sense.

Lao Wen's (I'm sorry for the use of the cannon nickname of wkx, saying the whole username is a task lmao) thesis is that Mew has no idea who he is, and I completely agree with them. The thing that was Mew's whole personality is that he was a virgin, which was the thing that most set him apart from his friends. Yes, he is also a bookworm and a smart person, but these were secondary things when it came to who he was. Mew was the "pure" one of the group, the one that was waiting for the right person, for the person that was worthy of his virginity (just typing this makes me want to wither away). After Top, he is no longer a virgin, he is no longer that different from his friends. So once he found out about Top cheating on him, he had lost more than his virginity, he had lost his own ideals, because he wanted his first time to be with someone worthy, as I said, and well, Top wasn't worthy, but Mew didn't know that at the time.

Now, Mew doesn't have the one aspect of him that defined him, so he is utterly lost and is now mimicking the one person that offers him some type of stability, one person that he knows truly cares for him, Ray. I really don't know how Mew will react if he knows that Ray kissed Sand at the party, I don't if he won't care because he isn't in love with Ray or if that will only make him go down to the worst path. I think he will get mad if he finds out, especially because it's Ray, his best friend, the one who was there for him when Top cheated on him. Oh, the drama it's gonna be.

Now for Ray. I'm gonna be straight with y'all and say that Ray is the character I dislike the most in this BL, but also the one that I pity the most.

From the get-go, I knew Ray wasn't better than Boston or Top, but after this episode, I can't understand why people still treat him as the victim. He keeps on stringing Sand around as if he is his personal doll, even after Sand makes it clear that he doesn't want to be Ray's second option, that he wants Ray to let him go. Ray does not let him go, and more than that, he clings to Sand as a spoiled child clings to his favorite toy, not out of love, out of possessiveness. I don't really see Ray and Sand's relationship as one of love, Sand is basically Ray's parent, and for Ray, Sand is a thing he can own, just like he can own anything else with his money. For this topic, I recommend this post by @wen-kexing-apologist (yes, I might be a little obsessed with their analysis, sue me) and this post by @emotionallychargedtowel.

I saw some people saying that Ray doesn't know he is addicted, and that his substance abuse doesn't excuse his behavior but certainly explains it, I disagree. I think that Ray knows that his actions hurt others around him, and he knows because his friends and Sand already told him when he was sober. Sand said more than one time that he should drive whilst drunk because he could hurt someone. Sand in the hospital made it clear that he should take accountability for his actions. Mew keeps on chewing him about his drinking behavior (even if he doesn't in a very judgmental way). So he knows, he might not be able to control himself when he is drunk, but he never takes accountability afterward, not really. Even after his accident, what was his punishment? Community service, and even when it comes to that he tried to make Sand help him.

As for the idea that he doesn't know he is addicted, I think he does. I think he does, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. If I remember correctly (and I might not, please correct me if I'm tripping), when Ray and Mew kissed back when they didn't know Sand or Top, Ray says to Mew that if he hadn't found Ray in the bathtub, he would've joined his mother. At the time, I hadn't watched the flashback of his mother on the floor, but I got the impression that he meant that not because he would die like his mother, but because he would've joined his mother in the same way that she went. Now, I think that scene was Ray's way of acknowledging for a brief moment that he is going down the same path as his mother. Again, I might be way off here.

So my point is, I'm a bit tired of people trying to blame Ray's trauma for all of his actions. Of course, his traumas and mental issues are a big part of it, but he still chooses to hurt others, even when sober. Trauma doesn't mean you can treat others like shit. And as someone who grew close to a person that dealt with alcohol abuse and turned a jerk because of it, it's fucking tiring and emotionally consuming to have someone berating you. It doesn't matter at the moment that they are out of their minds, because in the end, you are hurting.

THEY ARE FRIENDS, BUT ARE THEY REALLY?

Now onto the Fantastic Four. After this episode, I saw some people talking about Cheum never actually caring for Ray or that neither of the friends did. I saw someone talking about how Cheum shouldn't have said that (her whole monologue) whilst Ray was being held down by a cop. I agree with all of it, except maybe for the part that his friends don't care. I think Mew does care, although he certainly doesn't look like he does now. But we need to remember that he was there for Ray when he tried to take his own life. And I believe that there are still things we didn't see from them because they are best friends. Before Top, before Nick, before Sand, the one that Ray could lean on was Mew and from the way Ray behaves around him, it seems as if Mew wasn't the worst friend around.

As for Boston and Cheum, it is VERY clear that the one person who keeps these 3 people (Boston-Cheum-Ray) as friends is Mew, he is the glue of the friendship. Things are starting to look bad for their friendship now that Mew is acting out, because even when Boston did what he did, Cheum-Ray-Mew were still together. We also have to take into consideration that maybe Cheum and Boston don't know the scope of Ray's problems, maybe they don't know that Ray tried to kill himself, because from what we saw that was something that only Mew knew. Cheum clearly knows that Ray still suffers from his mother's death, and that's why she walked away when he said that his mother is dead, but we don't know if they actually know why Ray behaves in such a way.

Let's look at the situation from Cheum's POV for a minute. She is watching her friend, Mew, acting the same way as Ray, when Mew used to be the one to try and make Ray stop. She sees that both of them are making decisions about the hostel that the FOUR of them worked on, without her (or Boston). She knows that Ray did the whole hostel thing because of Mew. She is feeling left out as if no one cares for her like Ray was feeling before he started going out with Sand. When it comes to their friendship and this scene of Cheum's explosion, we need to remember Ray did a similar thing to her on Mew's birthday. He told everyone about her private business, and for her, it doesn't matter that he was drunk, because it hurt her and could've possibly ruined her relationship (ofc if it did the blame wouldn't be on Ray, because he didn't lie about the things she said about her girlfriend). And as she was talking, she mentioned that she and Boston were always the third wheel, which makes me think about all the times Boston talked to Ray about how he needed to stop his bullshit and be real about how much he wanted Mew to stay away from Top - and he was so right about that, because what was the thing Ray did when Mew was heartbroken? He asked Mew for a chance.

For my last point, I just want people to try and be in the friend's place for a second. In everyone's place actually (except for Ray's). Would you be a pantheon of peace and calm when your friend keeps on doing things that hurt you? The series did a great job at showing how Ray's traumas hurt him, but it also did a great job at showing how Ray's substance abuse hurts everyone around him.

As I said, when you are close to someone who has an addiction, you want to help them because you know that it's hard, but at some point, you get tired because, in the end, you are putting your own mental and emotional health in line for someone else. Most of the time, the person doesn't accept your help. It's not that they don't know they are addicted (sometimes that's the case tho, not trying to generalize, but I'm using my personal example and Ray for this), is that they don't want to assume it, they honestly want to believe they are in control.

Ray doesn't have the best support friendship, but in the end, not a single one of his friends is well enough to help him out, not even Sand. Not one of them has the capacity to help him, so I think it's unfair to place them as awful friends for not helping Ray out every time. Again, you can't help someone who does not accept help, but that also doesn't mean that they should just leave him to go crazy and drink like a madman, snort like his nose is made of steel. That's not it. But I think we should stop minimizing his acts just because of his mental issues and substance abuse. As someone who has mental issues in a way that I had similar thoughts to Ray, it does not mean that I'm allowed to treat others badly because of it. And I know people ain't trying to place Ray (only) as a victim, but I feel like the bar is raised high for everyone that isn't Ray, just because of his traumas and addiction -- let me also remind some of yall, that Top snorts too, he looks like he may have or may have had an addiction to his sleeping pills, his house caught fire and his parents weren't there to help him because his parents don't give a shit about him. From what we know the thing that sets him apart from Ray is that his mother didn't die in a very traumatic way, but still, I don't see anyone trying to justify his wrongings by using his traumas (as it should be).

This whole essay is just to say that no one is fully right here. We have people messing up and people trying to better themselves. Right now, Mew and Ray are messing up, but I'm sure at some point they will get better, and hopefully Ray will get the help that he needs because now he is looking for the help that he wants (aka Sand and Mew).

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts analysis #ofts #only friends spoilers #only friends analysis #only friends ray #only friends mew #gmmtv bl #yeah khao's eyes are a sea of happiness #but khao isn't ray and ray isn't khao #time to separate the 2 #sand deserves better #ray deserves help #the help that he needs not the help he wants

[absolutebl]

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun

series review 

Japanese BL: Takara & Amagi

2022 Gaga & Viki

Tropes: high school crush, chaos muffin, high angst, classic seme/uke, secret relationship

Don’t expect modern BL but do expect classic live action yaoi, it’s absolutely lovely. Japan played with narrative beats with this BL so it actually launches with a confession scene and moves instantly into a secret relationship. The initial meat cutes are told from each boy’s perspective as flashbacks. That can feel a bit jarring at first but if you roll with it you’ll find that it’s really flipping good, with both of them liking each other, and already in a relationship, yet so nervous about what to do it’s actually quite tense. It’s completely and totally high school first love, flip-flopping agony and joy. It made me so happy but it’s also so teenage crisis management it’s traumatic to live through. But this is my favorite kind of Japanese BL, I kept getting a hint of Seven Days and I don’t mention that show lightly. 

Amagi, our uke, is an ADORABLE sunshine bean nugget with wildly uncontrollable elbows, one of the weird outsider kids. He’s frantically jerky and clumsy but in a way that doesn’t seem as overblown as Aoki did in Kieta Hatsukoi.

Takara is elegant to the point of deadpan, too cool, one of the popular clique, reserved and inaccessible at first (to us and Amagi). But turns out Japan is doing their version of pining with him. And when Japan does pining it skips right over yearning and into THIRST. 

Takara, it turns out, is the one who liked Amagi first, and it’s Takara who will latch on to Amagi’s confession as an excuse to hold on as tightly as possible to his sunshine. 

Takara’s reason for keeping their relationship secret is that he doesn’t wanna share Amagi, ‘cause he thinks his friends will like Amagi too much and steal Amagi’s attention - such a seme reason. I find Takara such a likable and relatable character. 

Takara will (as we learn, as we watch him learn, and as eventually we see Amagi learn) do absolutely anything to keep Amagi. He’ll risk his friendships, his popularity, his status, even go against his own nature and learn to communicate (which includes going against his personality as a sullen teen).

“I like him so much that it feels stupid.” 

The show depicts depth of personality and relationship balance by switching perspectives and voice overs from Amagi to Takara relatively quickly. We need this, especially at the beginning, since Amagi shows too much emotion and Takara too little. 

Takara is a classic seme, voicing many of the conceits of the archetype while at the same time being a seme who is scared of his own semeness and therefore forced to learn to communicate. 

Amagi’s fears are all the fears of first love (and not really queer love, just first time jitters). Takara’s attempts to mitigate that fear mean trying to understand Amagi better through conversation. 

I adore this because part of first love should be learning how to talk to each other! The way Takara evolves in this matter is so good and so important to the BL genre I did a whole post about it.

I genuinely think this is a BL suitable to show to youngsters and teens, a genuine YA coming of age narrative. It might even be good for them to see. 

It is Takara’s voiceover that really blew this show away for me. 

All too often in BL we only get the uke’s perspective and that means, with a unlikable uke, it can be hard to understand why the seme loves him in the first place (see SCOY). With these two we are never left in any doubt that Takara thinks Amagi is beyond adorable, wants to have him (in all ways) and keep him (probably in all ways too). 

Takara is also a corny, awkward dork, because coolness and passion are incompatible, and I love him for this. He keeps stepping on land mines with Amagi and not knowing what to do about it. Good thing his default it to actually ask what’s going on. 

GOOD SEME, have a cutie as a treat. 

And Takara does win, there were more kisses in this high school JBL than I have seen since Seven Days. Sure they are awkward, teenager, dead fish kisses, but for this narrative that totally worked for me.

“He said something cute and I couldn’t help myself“ is so traditional Japanese seme in one sentence I can’t even.

As a couple, and we see them in a relationship for the entire show, these two are sweetly shy, and so painfully awkward it’s almost unbearable. The hand holding! The torture of decision making when you can’t read his mind! 

The. 

Agony. 

Of. 

It. 

All. 

But I happen to enjoy the way burgeoning desire works with high school characters better than in any of the other settings Japan explores. What I’d find annoying in an office drama (like Senpai) is fine in this BL. 

Warning though, these two pretty much define cringe. Takara because he is trying desperately to maintain his cool (and perform perfect seme) while simultaneously being so in love/lust with Amagi in high school where desire is, by definition and practice, uncool. While Amagi is just a tiny basket case with more than a hint of blushing maiden about him. He is all frenetic movements and angles, like he cannot control his limbs or his emotions, both are deeply confusing to him. 

Watching them stumble around each other and reflectively agonize over every little movement and conversation is an exercise in joy, patience, and terror. It’s all so “teenager” I can hardly stand it.

I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show. Stoic cool kid who must lean to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst. Did anything actually happen? No. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Was there plot? Not really. Did I enjoy the hell out of it, anyway? Oh yes. 

9/10 

TOTALLY RECOMMENDED

GaGa’s subs are more poetic but Viki’s are more comprehensible, so I did (and recommend) both. But if you must pick? Viki.

I you liked this show you should watch Seven Days and even Old Fashion Cupcake. Also something like Cherry Magic, My Love Mix Up, and Mr Unlucky might also be enjoyable. For something a little less cringe but with a similar dynamic there’s Korean BLs Cherry Blossoms After Winter and Light on Me. (Speaking og, T&A features one of the best wingman since Namgong.) 

More? 

Takara, Amagi, Communication Used to Subvert Seme/Uke plus some stuff about Ask v Guess cultures 

(source) 

#japanese bl #adapted from a manga #live action yaoi #Takara-kun and Amagi-kun #Takara & Amagi #Takara-kun to Amagi-kun #bl series review #bl review #takara and amagi review #GaGaOOLaLa #rakutan viki #high school crush #classic seme/uke #secret relationship #recommended bl #i loved it #best bl #bl tropes #coming of age #narrative analysis #seven days the series #Kieta Hatsukoi #Cherry Magic #My Love Mix Up #Mr Unlucky Can Only Kiss! #Cherry Blossoms After Winter #Light on Me

[williamrikers]

how (not) to write an office romance

okay so i am livid with rage after watching step by step episode 11 and i will say some very unkind things about it so if you loved the episode, please scroll past this.

in this post i will be comparing pat and jeng's romance on step by step to gun and cher's romance on a boss and a babe, and show all the ways in which the relationship in step by step, for me, fell flat.

yes, i am aware that we are dealing with two completely different genres here. abaab is a cute little comedy show (for the most part) while sbs takes its setting super seriously and tries to say something profound about homophobia. however, they're both at their core office romances with similar set-ups and obstacles, which they tackle completely differently.

the reason i am writing this is that, to me, pat and jeng do not feel emotionally resonant as a couple, and therefore the whole show is falling flat for me. i want to compare and contrast them with gun and cher, who are one of my favourite bl couples to date because of how they were presented to us.

now, pat and jeng had a nine-episode slow burn while cher was kissing gun in the second episode, so take what i'm about to say with a grain of salt. BUT. cher and gun were built up over time as a couple and we could see them grow as individuals as well as together, while all the most important couple moments of jeng and pat got lost in one of the many time skips (if they happened at all).

the thing that bugs me is that by episode 11 of sbs, we are told that jeng and pat have been together for a few months. but nothing -- NOTHING -- that we are shown on screen supports that. they don't treat each other like two people who have been together for a while. they don't even treat each other like they know each other well. they do not have a single normal conversation with each other. gun and cher, on the other hand, are shown being domestic with each other, over and over again. they talk about difficult emotions with each other. the moment cher lets his mask of happiness drop and starts crying in gun's arms is one of my favourites in film history because 1) it's just really STELLAR acting from book and 2) it shows how far they've come as a couple, how much trust they've developed between each other, how close they've grown. on step by step, pat is still looking at jeng exactly the same way he was in the first episode. WHICH HE SHOULD NOT BE DOING. if they've been sleeping together for half a year, he should not be looking at this man like a deer in headlights. maybe this is an issue that stems from ben being a very inexperienced young actor, but imo it's also a writing/direction issue. if jeng and pat were in a balanced relationship, i would expect pat to call jeng out on his bullshit. like for example, telling him in unmistakable terms that pat was trying to tell him about his resignation, and that jeng was unwilling to hear it. (cher would have had a field day with that one, if gun had ever stooped so low.) instead, pat just apologizes, like he has no say in the matter. GIANT RED FLAG!!!

now, cher as a character is set up to be rude and brash and he doesn't care about his job at all, basically, which is one of the only ways this kind of office romance works well: because cher negates the inherent power imbalance of the setting just by virtue of being himself. gun and cher as a couple never feel imbalanced or like gun has more power, even though he is older, even though he is technically cher's boss, even though cher calls him "boss" for like, the whole first year of their relationship. they do, in fact, have several conversations about that in canon, and gun spends months trying to get cher to call him phi in what i like to call the Great Pronoun War Of 2023. it was a form of flirting between them, and a cute quirk of their relationship, and not at all a form of power imbalance.

now, on step by step, pat calls jeng "khun jeng" repeatedly. even when it's just the two of them. even after we had scenes of him calling him "p'jeng" and -- in one memorable moment -- just "jeng" without any honorific (!!), in episode 11 it's khun all the way down. and it's grating. at work, sure, pat is trying to be professional, but in private? no, it rubs me the wrong way. especially since jeng never returns this level of formality, he never calls him khun pat. (this would still be a bit weird but i could accept it if it was done well like on manner of death for example.)

and there's no reason for this given on the show. we don't really have a sense of what they even call each other in private (and i absolutely refuse to believe that pat calls him khun jeng when they're in bed together). now, with gun and cher, we know exactly what they call each other at which point in their relationship. they discuss it! it changes several times! gun goes from pom to phi, then for a while back to pom and then back to phi for himself, all according to what is happening between them in the story and what it means for their characters. they start out using phi/nong during sex, then much later also use these pronouns when they're just hanging out.

sorry for ranting about pronouns for so long but i do think it's a good illustration of this issue: i have a very clear sense of how gun and cher treat each other in their relationship. i have a clear sense of what they might do when they're spending time together, how they might banter or joke around, how they might comfort each other when they're sad.

i have absolutely no idea what a normal day in the life of jeng and pat even looks like. i don't even know how they normally address each other in private, and i have even less of an idea what they're like as a couple. is there flirting? banter? what do they like to do together outside of having sex? what do they like about each other?

i can answer all of these questions for cher and gun. their relationship is given adequate space on the show for us to see what draws them together, and what keeps them together once they've found each other. we know why they like each other. we know how they make each other's lives better, we know how they spend their time, we know why their relationship is important to them.

cher is not romantic at all, in fact, he is the opposite, he ruins every single romantic moment by making a stupid comment like he's getting paid for it. but he is incredibly loving. the combination is absolutely fascinating as a character trait and gun comments on it on several occasions, and it's clear that gun loves cher the way he is, stupid comments and all.

when jeng and pat are together, are they romantic with each other? do they have shared jokes? do they, like, have fun together at all?

these questions keep haunting me because literally nothing about their relationship has been established in any way, and as a result, i find myself not invested in their love at all. at this point, i'm sort of hoping for pat to stay single because the show hasn't shown me a single scene of pat and jeng just. being happy together. you know. the core thing a relationship should be about? (i'm with yok kinnporsche on this.)

what exactly will pat be missing about jeng during the upcoming two year time skip? i don't know. does pat know? do the writers know? what exactly does jeng bring into pat's life that he can't get anywhere else, besides his dick? how does jeng make pat's life sweeter, how does he make pat's life easier, how does he make pat's life brighter? i have no idea. and at this point, i am starting to think that the writers have no idea, either.

anyway. the main plot of abaab was a mess and i won't try to defend it but the relationship between cher and gun was beautiful and deep and we got to see exactly how these two fell in love and why, how they changed each other's lives, how they made each other better, how they learned to be each other's comfort and happiness.

and without that? well, i don't need to watch people working a terrible job that doesn't make any sense. i can just go to work for that.

#step by step the series #step by step #a boss and a babe #*mine

[thebroccolination]

Listen, Between Us is my child. My joy. My raison d’être.

But I do kind of have separate ratings for the series as a whole vs. WinTeam’s part in it. WinTeam Rating: 12/10, perfect my babies miraculous string music. The series…has a different rating. Undisclosed. Unimportant. New and Sheep did their best under extraordinary circumstances and I will defend their series to my last breath.

That said, I want to make a WinTeam supercut for myself.

‘Cos as far as I know, New didn’t just direct the series—he edited it as well, and I understand that he had a lot on his plate. But I do…kind of wish he’d delegated the editing to someone else. The mic noises, the music crowding some scenes, the flashbacks that go on for a really long time—much longer than they had to—presumably to pad out an episode, etc. Plus, well. BeePrince should have had their own series. Bee is already a side character, and Prince only has Bee and his manager to flesh him out. I think Tae did a fantastic job as Bee, but Benz as Prince never really grabbed me emotionally. Their plot felt sort of sped-run to me, and I started fast-forwarding past them in later episodes. I don’t dislike them, to be clear, I just didn’t feel much of anything in any direction. Love Bee, neutral on BeePrince.

I wish I could fix all the muffled noises from the actors squishing their body mics during hugs and oh my god New kept playing the instrumental version of Prem’s song in a painfully sharp/high-pitched key that felt more like a horror soundtrack than the uplifting/happy instrumental they played in the locker room scene of episode two. But I can’t fix those issues because I’d probably need the original high quality dialogue tracks in order to isolate and remove parts of them. And aaahh, more than anything I wish I could remove the music from some scenes—the late-night “if I asked you, would you have an answer for me” conversation has, like, four or five music cues in it and it’s ONE SCENE, NEW. I’m a huge champion of sound engineering as an art form that should be respected, and so a lot of scenes genuinely felt to me like wasted opportunities. Sound and music aren’t supposed to hammer viewers in the face with the mood of a scene. And BounPrem were at top form in this series, so I wish they had had more scenes where they aren’t interrupted by a song in the middle. Where they just got to have quiet and New let their acting carry the scene.

(This is something New also did in UWMA. Like, as much as I enjoy the cabin scene and the dorm room scene, neither of them needed that song blasted over them. Let the actors carry the scene!!!)

Basically, my only major issues with Between Us were editing-based. Hence why I wish New had let someone else do it. Maybe he didn’t have the money to spare. Maybe he just didn’t want to. No idea.

But that’s why I want to make my own WinTeam cut so I can binge their storyline when I’m having a rough day and I don’t want to fast-forward to get to them. (That’s not to say I didn’t like everyone else! I did! But y’know. WinTeam. My babies.) I’ll include some of the other pairings when their scenes are relevant to WinTeam’s story, but mostly I just want to zero in on WinTeam. (I’ll keep all of WanTul since they’re the pairing with the closest storyline to WinTeam, and the two pairs converge later in the series, but I’m tempted to play with the timeline and see if I can’t blend them in elsewhere.)

I know why BeePrince didn’t have their own series. Side pairings are a profitable and inevitable marketing element of the BL industry, and I don’t begrudge New for trying to advertise some of his actor stable in a highly anticipated series that was guaranteed to have thousands of potential fans watching it. It’s tough out there, and New’s got a purebred cat family to feed and Boun’s salary to provide. Sell what you gotta sell, babe.

(I’m actually a little tempted to do this same thing for SOTUS S because HOO boy do I not care about the side couples in Arthit’s office. KongArt + TewDae + seven seconds of sapphics is all I want.)

Anyway! I’m gonna make this my li’l project. I’m not sure I’ll post it publicly because I don’t want to step on the official versions, but I’ll probably post some isolated scenes while I experiment with editing. For my first step I’ll try to cut down some of those flashback scenes. Like Win in the shower remembering his entire conversation with Dean and Pruk? For multiple minutes? Win might have relived the entire thing, but we shouldn’t. The series is only twelve episodes, New, and that conversation wasn’t that long ago even for those of us who watched it live. We remember. We got it.

If New needed more footage to pad out the episode, just have Boun do his hair and skin care routines. Literally who would complain? “Look, a beautiful human being. Stare.” WITH PLEASURE.

“Oh no the episode is short. Prem, pout for thirty seconds.” I WILL TAKE A THOUSAND SCREENSHOTS.

“Ohm, do some push-ups.” I’m sure he does those!

“Prem, Sammy, ad-lib an argument.” More Team and Manaow bickering! Grand!

“Fluke, be perfect.” PHARM’S APPEARANCES IN THIS SERIES WERE FLAWLESS I HOPE HE GETS THE RESPECT HE DESERVED THE FIRST TIME AROUND.

So you see, there are workarounds when you need to pad out time. No need to show us the same scenes again.

Anyway, in addition to writing fic, this is how I’m coping with our collective loss.

#between us the series #between us #winteam #teamwin

[stefanyd]

So i was having a lovely conversation with @rythyme about the current rapid evolution of the BL industry, specially in Thailand - looking at the impact KinnPorsche is having, everywhere, at the moment - and it led us to a path where i was able to articulate something i’ve been thinking about or a while in regards to BL as a genre and how it relates to (and is) LGBTQ+ media.

BL might have its roots as a genre made for fangirls as fanservice, but the reality of it is, it is ALSO queer media and as the world at large embraces LGBTQ+ identities(i use the term embrace loosely here, we are all aware of the hurdles we face still), the lines have blurred into what people consider just BL - as fangirl fanservice - and LGBTQ+ content.

That does not mean that there isn't just fanservice for the sake of it out there, not every piece of media has to be nuanced and whatnot (we all like chicken nuggets every once in a while people, don’t lie, five course meals are not always where its at), but it does mean that there is more media that lands in the blended space. I believe BL media is and should be qualified under LGBTQ+ media. Bad buddy is a great example. It is 100 percent a BL, ticks all the boxes, but it is also 100 percent a coming of age, nuanced love story between two boys that tugs at your heartstrings and makes you want to go through the joy and anxieties of falling in love. That has a lot to do with the Director of the show, P’Aof, a very talented director, and an out gay man. Watching his reaction/review videos to the show, along with his peers who are also queer men, specially for the final episode, has been one of the best experiences of my life. It was hard to put into words, but hearing what these older queer/gay men had to say about this show, their lives, their experiences, the differences between their youth and today. It was mind blowing, specially because they are from a whole different culture than mine, and as my older sister who is in their age range said: “you’re watching/learning queer history.” It was both touching and a great learning experience.

BL is a genre that can be multiple things at once (like any other), but what lends itself to the blending I mentioned before is that we are not only seeing the industry as a whole growing with its fanbase, but also the fact that more LGBTQ+ voices are getting involved in the making and distribution of it.

Rythyme made a point in our conversation, “BL as a genre despite its shortcomings has always been, at its core, both queer and transgressive and it's hard to draw those lines between what's made for the ‘BL fangirl’ vs the ‘queer person’ bc those boundaries are super blurred” And i agree with that statement, because many of those BL fangirls the genre was aimed at turned out to be queer people later in life. They mentioned listening to a talk by an older Japanese lesbian who was an OG BL fan from the start of it all, and who discussed how BL helped her discover her own queerness, which was a lightbulb moment for Rythyme as they listened to it.

And that’s the thing. BL culture in the east, and slash culture in the west, they both started labeled as “fanservice for the fangirls”, and their similarities don’t end there, they are both movements that have led a lot of queer people in a journey of self-discovery. My sister @teland has almost 15 years+ on me, and as she put it:

I can't count the number of queer people of all genders and ages and everything else who I've spoken to over the past 20-odd years about slash, bl, and other intersections of queerness, fantasy, and *hope* who have said to me:

"This is where I found myself." "This is how I learned who I was." "This is how I wrote myself into my own body." "This is how I learned how to draw the boundaries of my self." And so on, and so forth.

There is nothing more queer than taking identity/self/sexuality/gender and remaking it in our own images for the sake of learning ourselves.

So yeah. i am in no way making light of, or ignoring, the fact that the fetishizing that has gone on since its inception isn't a thing (i am not a gay man, i can't speak for their struggles or issues with said fetishizing), but i feel it disingenuous to deny the fact that it, and the people it was/is aimed for have evolved.

There's surely someone out there better qualified, and with more energy than me, to address the other, more problematic side of this whole thing, where it lacks and where it fails, and I wish them all the luck. I'm genuinely just. So happy to see the growth and evolution of it as a whole. It brings me untold joy, and when there are just so many things in the world that aim to take the joy away from our lives, I want to embrace all the things that give it to me.

Now give me more GL stuff lol.

#Thai BL #Boys Love #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQ+ media #asian lgbtq dramas #i am SO SORRY about how long this is #i have so much to saaaaay #i mean im leaving out a bunch of other stuff that brings even more nuance to my argument #like cultural differences #how lgbtq+ rights are being fought over as we speak in the countries that are the leading exporters of BL #and my thoughts on how revolutionary it is that this content IS so popular there and worldwide #and how i want to watch the evolution and growth of this genre and watch how it impacts the fight for those rights #and so much more oh man #someone send me to bed

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora....My friend and I made a list of ace and aro characters from BL, and then we get to Love For Sale. We think Sieon is aro, based on he never regret his previous relationships until he is with Namwoo. And how he felt so indifferent about them. But what do you think? Also, do you have any BL characters that you think are ace or aro?

Great question! And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about Sieon. I'm always happy to do so. If you want the tl;dr answer, I don't consider him to be one. However, as is always the case on Wild Wild Web when you express a thought or preference, people take it as me condemning all the other thoughts/preferences. So here's a PSA: if you consider him Aro, good for you! You can interpret him however you like.

Also, lots and LOTS of spoilers for the uninitiated.

As for how I read his character. I think Sieon is hard to understand for a lot of people because they expect him to be either this or that and try to put him into categories he doesn't fully belong in. It's one of the reasons why I'm so enamored with Love for Sale as a whole, and Sieon in particular. Dal Hyeonji, even though this is their first commercial BL work, does an absolutely fantastic job in this character study.

Back to the point. When the story was still being released, I entertained a similar idea myself about him that, maybe he's demiromantic. Not a romance-aversed aromantic, but still a part of the spectrum. Then I kind of abandoned that as well.

We are a melting pot of our environments, cultural codes, family, and our characteristics. That's why most of the time, it's hard to make out whether you've become something due to some external force or you were that something before anything else. A very lame example would be, do I find red lipstick sexy because I find it arousing, or is it because it was marketed in such a way that I am conditioned to think it's sexy? Similarly, it's not always easy to tell apart whether your feelings are genuine, you feel like you have to feel certain ways towards certain people, or something impacted you in such a way that you don't feel a certain way anymore. I know I'm being vague but hopefully, it'll make more sense now.

Sieon, having to shoulder her mother's emotional well-being and their reversed parent-child roles, has found himself in a position where he seeks gratification through the things he can provide to his partners so he can feel 'needed'. The comfort he can provide for his partner becomes his purpose to be in that relationship. I was throwing him bombastic side-eyes very early into the story where he never expressed any type of preference and was very evasive whenever Namwoo tried to probe. Naturally, it was quite frustrating for Namwoo. As for me, it was as if Sieon was trying to erase himself from the relationship and be there for Namwoo as a combination of 'bank account + lips to kiss + a hand to hold' and blend into the ether as a person.

That's also why his relationships ended the way they did. He knew his mom wasn't happy, and even if he tried to alleviate her pain, it ultimately didn't work, thus, the one last good deed he could do for his mom was to let her go. To not be greedy. To not be selfish and say "I need you, don't go." This is the root of his letting go of his exes 'too easily', rather than him not 'loving' his partners.

Here's where things get tricky. Ideally, a romantic relationship requires you to be vulnerable, communicative, diplomatic, etc. Ideally. But none of us are exempt from carrying our baggage with us into the next relationship, no matter how big or small. In that sense, should we say that just because Sieon hasn't been perfectly vulnerable or has been avoiding conflict, he was never in a real relationship before? I don't think we can. 

One of the moments my heart ached for him was during his conversation with his close friend. He reiterates it later on when they're having the talk with Namwoo, but he desperately tries to convey that, no matter what his partners felt, whether they were satisfied on their own account or not, he was always genuine. Has always been. It may not fit the mold of grandiose, shouting-from-the-mountaintops, I'd-swallow-a-sword-for-you kind of love we are constantly sold in the romance genre, but that doesn't mean he isn't capable of love either. On the contrary, I think he does look for romantic companionship, but he just doesn't know how not to intellectualize his feelings.

So, in my opinion, "he didn't love anyone else before Namwoo" is not exactly the correct way to read him. Up until Namwoo decided that he was going to hold onto Sieon and 'show him a selfish love' in Sieon's mom's words, their relationship was following the pretty much same direction as the others. At first, Namwoo is content with what Sieon provides, but then he develops feelings for him and expects Sieon to return them in a way he can't. The same old story that is bound to end with a break-up.

Emphasis on 'in a way he couldn't'. The way I read it, his way of loving is different from what others deem as 'romantic love', so he's convinced that he can't reciprocate others' feelings. If that's love, and his feelings don't look like that, then he must not be in love after all. And when Namwoo shows Sieon that it's okay to be needy and selfish at times, and it's okay to be vulnerable and honest, we see that was the wake-up call he needed all along. 

The verdict? If you consider his past partners through the "he wasn't able to genuinely love them" lens and interpret his "not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings" literally, you can think of him as an aromantic who's not really averse to dating. But as I've tried to elaborate, rather than not feeling romantic love, he does feel love and seek companionship but doesn't know how to handle conflict and can't break free from the behavioral patterns ingrained in him in childhood. 

About aro/ase characters in BL. There's only one work that comes to mind which, interestingly, makes asexuality/demisexuality one of the core themes it explores and that's This is Love by Ziki Masaya. I have reviewed it before (click me) and I highly recommend it! I can maybe mention Sangwoo from Semantic Error, but then again, I think he's just autistic and his approach to romantic love for another guy is different from his normie boyfriend Jongchan because of that. I can't really think of any other works with Aro/ace characters as there's always romance/sex involved. Or maybe I just haven't paid enough attention! Let me know about the list you two came up with ~

PSA: I added the intro because the original link needs you to login to Lezhin as it's a Mature title, but you know the drill. Read on the official platfrorms!

#allthefujoshiunite answers #love for sale #dal hyeonji #bl manhwa #yaoi manhwa #lezhiin #spoilers

[bengiyo]

Bake Me Please Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Guy left the bakery after realizing that Peach was developing feelings for Shin. Guy said he was tired of being in second place to Shin. Shin injured his arm flailing in embarrassment about Peach, didn’t want any help from Oab, and only wanted help from Shin. When asked about his relationship with Shin, he told Atom that he didn’t like Shin. However, Shin and Peach hooked up by the end of the episode because Shin was sad about Guy.

I still don’t get why this show has two intros, or why Gaga has broken and is playing dialogue behind the second intro. This is chaotic as hell.

These people need their cake fix and they need it NOW!

I like Atom. I’m glad I get to see him twice a week.

Genuinely a fan of this undiscussed physical relationship. Glad we’re exploring the gray space in new relationships more in the genre this year.

Oh no. Oab is having a Nice Guy event.

Oab and Atom’s mom is too wealthy for her own good. She should not be sitting around on this couch being angsty about their successful bakery all day like this. No wonder Atom doesn’t want to open a shop.

I’m glad they’re letting Ohm smile in this show. He was so severe in UWMA and developed a reputation for it.

I love Peach’s grandmother. She said, “Of course I know who you are. I’m so happy you found a good person.”

Now, Shin, why are we keeping the relationship secret at work? Is this because of Oab?

Did we really interrupt this important conversation for a Toyota commercial and for Shin to give seme stance the whole time???

If Shin is driving a Camry, I know he’s a bad driver.

Well, I’m glad Shin is finally appreciating how rudeness feels.

Peach isn’t dumb, thankfully, and knows that this whole “keep it secret, keep it safe” thing is about Oab.

Oh ho! Guy hasn’t given up on Peach and is inviting him to the thing that Shin refused to do.

Peach is lying! Drama!!

Wow he got caught immediately outside of the same location used in multiple BL’s recently.

Guy is incredulous that even now Peach is trying to accommodate Shin. I would be with Guy if Shin wasn’t lying.

Lol and now Peach catches Oab laying one on Shin, only to leave before Shin throws him off. I love when the shows are shorter so we hit these high drama moments quickly.

Excited for the breakup episode next week and how a cake will eventually bring everyone back together.

#bake me please #bake me please the series #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches