#but hey i have uhhhh two hours before work so if anybody wants to talk about this!!!

[pettyprocrastination]

here are my thoughts on a poly ship with ghost+soap and how it would begin because our heating still isnt on and it’s too cold for me to do anything productive right now

Ghost and soap began before you. You’re a newer addition to the 141 meanwhile these men have years of trauma, camaraderie, and connection that has led to a mutual relationship that has been going on for quite some time. 

Ghost doesn’t like labels. He and Soap have been together for years, will share a bed and fuck like mad before going down to the pub together to watch a game but he doesn’t call him his boyfriend or partner because he still is skittish about saying it out-loud as if it would cause something horrible to happen to Johnny. 

the classic “can’t say i love you x the person who says the soft “I know, its alright” 

Ghost is the jealous and possessive type pre-relationship when it comes to other people flirting with Soap. He gets quiet and brooding and more content to push johnny away to protect his own feelings. Once they’re in a relationship he’ll just make a dry joke about how “somebody’s popular” before fucking him stupid that same night because he doesn’t care how many people laugh at his jokes and squeeze his bicep with a lack of subtlety. He’s Simon's and Simon's alone. 

Of course, until you. 

Johnny takes to you quickly. You're smart, good in a fight and you laugh at his jokes, it’s a clear shot to friendship from their. 

He’s the mediator between the two of you, the one that sort of bridges you to Simon who is more content to be silent around you until after going through several missions with the task force you find yourself melding into the group with ease. 

Simon of course, is old enough and smart enough to see Johnny’s attraction to you. He’ll bump shoulders with you in a quiet moment with that little smile, taunt you on the mat during sparring sessions that he leaves just a bit too winded to be normal. 

It’s nothing more than a crush, really. You’re attractive and strong. He gets it. 

Doesn’t mean he likes it. But it’s not something Soap would ever act upon so he lets it be. 

Soap will make a light joke at it when they're together, that “you’ve got nothing to worry about, old man. I’m not switching you out for another pretty face anytime soon.”

Because even Simon could admit that yeah, you were easy on the eyes and good at your job. 

However there would have to be a big event to make Ghost go “okay, yeah, I’m attracted to you.” 

Rescuing one of them in an ambush, keeping them alive in a vital moment while putting your own life at risk for one of them in a way that is incredibly stupid and as a Lieutenant, he would rip you a new one for when the dust settles and wounds are tended to.

But after, he’d go back to his room and think of you until he fell asleep.

Soap sees it in his partner’s eyes a month later. You and Ghost had been sparring late at night, both battling our own demons that wouldn’t let your sleep. 

Quickly, using your own size as an advantage you were able to get him to the floor and trap him in a leg lock.

Now, Simon is twice your size and easily a hefty 220 pounds. He could have simply stood up and slammed you back into the floor until you fell limp on the ground.  

But he lays beneath you, large hands gripping the muscle of your thighs as you tighten your grip on his neck, eyes almost falling into a dark haze before he quickly taps against your calf and you release.

John Mctavish had his suspicions before, but know its clear as day to him of his partner’s desire for you. 

And knowing Simon, he’s going to have to be the one to take the first step for them both. 

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish x you #do i want to start this? yes #does writing for the cod men in real fics and not bullet point headcanons scare me? also yes #but hey i have uhhhh two hours before work so if anybody wants to talk about this!!! #forgivement im under a heated blanket rn half awake if this doesnt make sense i apologize. #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #ghost x you

[stickynotestoletters]

ugggh so I am a dirty little slut for sal fisher and I had a thought about it sooooo,,,,

Sal Fisher x GN (masc body) headcanons of what he's like with you

this is gonna be very heavily influenced by the fact I am sleepy and really wanna write this rn!

Warnings: Non-canon-compliant (Sal lives, Larry lives, Todd doesn't go crazy, no murder), some NSFW stuff, switch-bottom leaning Sal, Service Top Sal

Highschool

When he first meets you he's, hands down, the most flustered he's ever been before

Like, he's really into you

He just sees you in the hall and immediately blushes

he goes around his days as usual and stuff still but now he's eyeing you whenever you come into view

it's cute, he looks like a little kitten peering at you from around the corner because he’s too shy to say something

Larry makes little jokes about it and always tells him to talk to you

"wow, what a stalker" is his usual line when he finds Sal looking at you from somewhere

he musters up the courage to talk to you in his junior year when you wear a Sanity's Fall's shirt to class one day

from then on you two talk together whenever you have class and stuff

your parents move into the apartments in your senior year because of a demotion and you and Sal start hanging out outside of school

He finally asks you out on the last day of senior year

You and the gang go out to the football field the night after graduation

after they clean up all of the equipment for the stage

You guys end up smoking a blunt because Larry brought some of his stash and, hey, what's the harm?

You and Sal end up laying in the middle of the field while Larry chases Ash and Todd around on the bleachers

They're laughing and howling at the moon so you two just listen

Sal takes his mask off cause he feels more comfortable laying with it off

He takes out his pigtails and you comb through his hair for a bit

You look him in the eyes and just stop brushing your fingers through his hair long enough for him to look up at you

your eyes both meet and you two just stare

You see the stars in his eyes

Sal just thinks "You're the prettiest person I've ever seen"

"what?" "uhhhh....nothing"

"It's okay Sal!" You giggle at him and he giggles too

you both start giggling at each other and you two hug each other

still, just facing each other, heads tucked into shoulders, chests pressed so tightly together, legs intertwined

It's calm

He feels safe

So safe and warm

It's wonderful

So he sighs and says" I think I'm in love with you"

And it's an accident

He doesn't regret it, not processing it until you say "I'm in love with you too silly"

And you stay like that

no panic or guilt

just tucked away into each other

The gang goes to 7/11 that night-morning really it is 3 am-and get slushies

all of them are teasing you guys as you hold hands on the way there

it's cute

He's cute

You're cute

You both feel warm in the jackets you switch from each other

it's cute

"God the stalker finally got the victim in their clasps, another tragically happy ending" "Shut it Larry Face"

College

You both end up staying in different places after high school

You take a year off college and stay with your parents at Addison Apartments and Sal moves into the gang's house

It's nice, you see each other regularly for dates and ghost hunts

it's blissful

Then Sal starts having his nightmares again and you come over regularly for sleepovers

it's months into this routine of going home, getting new clothes from the apartments, go out with Sal, come and sleep at his place to help with nightmares, repeat that Larry has the most brilliant idea

"Why don't you just move in with Sal? You practically live with him anyway."

This is in front of you two, you're both at the gang's house and drinking some morning coffee

Sal not really jokes and agrees

And then you genuinely agree

It's a big moment for you two

Sal wanted you to move in right away but was scared his nightmares would affect you or you two wouldn't end up working out

So you two complied and stayed where you were

But this is gonna be an actual conversation where he is up for it and knows you two are stable

So you talk about it

You two agree

And you end up moving in that day

it's not that hard since most of your clothes are over there already

It's basically just moving your bed, knick-knacks, and bookshelf in so that's just the big things since you have a queen

It's bliss from there

you both settle into a nice routine and after you start college Sal decides to focus on his music for rn and take a break

You get a job and the dynamic is just... so pure

you guys are finally, finally, okay and the best thing is that you're together

He's still adorable and you're still sweet

You guys end up getting your own apartment outside of Nockfell and Addison Apartments

The gang stays around

Larry ends up moving in with you two for a little bit until he can afford his own place

Sal gets a lot more gigs out there in the city than he would have gotten in Nockfell and you get a job at a little club

Sal ends up playing there often because of you

NSFW headcanons

Okay so Sal is a hopeless romantic

before he moved to Nockfell he never really had anybody else who was interested in him

so he was super hopeless in planning your first time together

once you had slept over with each other a couple of times he makes this grand layout and waits for you to walk in to see him spred on the bed, clad in some cute underwear and nothing else

turns out though you were sick and sent Larry to tell Sal you couldn’t come over cause your phone was dead and you didn’t wanna get him sick

So Larry ends up walking in on a naked Sal and scarying the everloving crap out of him

He makes fun of y'all after that about it

So your first time is honestly uneventful after that whole fiasco

Deciding to just causally hook up at his place instead

Sal is a switch but he leans for bottoming

he can top, he's really good at being a service top

He’s not insecure about himself, he’s pretty big for his height *cough* (9.7) *cough*

but he prefers being spoiled and called pretty

loves being called feminine nicknames like "pretty baby" even if he is topping

stuff that's gender-neutral but is more feminine in origin

He likes it when you do it doggy-style if you're topping just cause if you press him into the mattress he can feel you better inside of him

Whines so much when you go faster

really likes getting fucked stupid, he wants his throat to be sore and his ass to be bed-ridden

Loves topping you when you're in his lap straddling him

He really likes to make you do work for a while, guides you and everything until you're breaking

when you eventually end up asking for him to "just fuck me already Sal...please?" He wants tears down your face, crying and desperate for him or else it’s not gonna happen

He ends up fucking into you like a monster from there if you are

loves when you lay on your back and he's on his knees sitting and thrusting into you, pulling you onto his lap

very vocal either way but he laughs and giggles more with you, his moans are less fucked out and more "oh god, yes!" in nature

His sex drive is really high, he could go for hours

If you end up getting tired when he's bottoming he's gonna bounce on your pretty cock and ride you so pathetically

It's so pathetically adorable

but if he's topping and you get tired he usually asks you if he can fuck you to sleep

You end up agreeing only if he cleans you up after

He doesn't have any severe kinks or whatnot

He's really into being breed though

Tie him up too while you do it

he likes gags as well

when you breed him he'll end up feeling bad after you finish and he can't feel it anymore once it's out

So you end up giving him a buttplug after to compromise

Sometimes if he's being a brat you'll tie him up, gag him, and leave him with a vibrator over stimming him

You'll leave him in the room and come back to a crying Sal, salivating and so fucked out without having even cum once

If you're ever being the brat he does the exact opposite

He'll tie you up but make it so you can't close your mouth

You have to be quiet though, he doesn’t want to hear anything louder than breathing and your pathetic whimpers

you're over stimmed to hell and orgasm so much it's difficult to keep awake

but do not fall asleep cause if you don't get through it to the end it won't end (Consensually of course)

He and Larry definitely hooked up once or twice before meeting you so I think he'd ask you to let him in on it

It becomes a regular occurrence until Larry moves out

But when you do have a threesome and he is feeling dominant get ready to not move for the next three weeks

It's nice though and doesn't end up changing the relationship between you three

That's it, I gotta stop before I cream myself into dirtier shit cause I am his slut. I have Sal Fisher brain rot syndrome so I'll definitely make another one eventually. Request some stuff and I'll be happy to write!

Continuation for Threesome hcs here by request

-Laika

#Sally Face fanfiction #Sal Fisher x gn reader #Sal Fisher x male reader #Sal Fisher #Sally Face #Sal Fisher smut #Sal Fisher hcs #Sally Face hcs #Sal Fisher smut hcs

[flippyspoon]

Pick Up

Note: Just a lil thingie because I imagining Steve’s voice over the phone lol. MMMMM.

To say Billy’s on pins and needles after the first time he and Steve fool around is a gross understatement. He can’t tell the terror from the ecstasy. He’s about to jump out of his skin. 

He’s used to feeling a lot about..everything.

This is more than usual.

Billy flees Steve’s place quickly, having no better ideas.

He’s nice about it.

“See ya, Harrington!” He says, as he pulls his shirt back on. He glances at Steve who looks half-delirious sitting on the bed, smiling sleepily at Billy, his jeans and briefs still down around his thighs, his spent dick hanging out.

Billy’s out the door before he gets a response, still feeling the sensation of Steve’s dick in his mouth.

He doesn’t sleep a wink that night and his thoughts race around too quickly in his head to catch a hold of any one in particular.

He burns through the half pack of Marlboros he’s got, his bedroom window open to let out the smoke, bringing in the chill. Nothing much is on TV to distract him. I Dream of Jeannie for four straight hours keeps him entertained. Or anyway, he stares at it and thinks of Steve’s head gently falling back against this bedroom door when Billy curled his tongue a certain way.

The way the little bump of Steve’s Adam’s apple stuck out, his mouth gaping open as he breathed. His hand tugging on Billy’s hair. Maybe not tugging quite as hard as Billy would have wanted. But that’s Steve. He was always going to be so sweet. 

I Dream of Jeannie...

He always thought Major Nelson was kind of cute in a fumbling, totally square kinda way.

Huh.

The line of Steve’s throat…

That vein along his dick pressing against Billy’s lips...

It’s maddening.

In the morning, his bones ache from staying up, his throat raw from smoking...and probably from the blow-job.

He makes breakfast for Susan and Max in the morning, feeling bleary, like everything isn’t quite real because he watched the sun rise outside, sitting on the stoop and chilly even in his hooded sweatshirt. He smoked and watched the sky turn amber and for a moment life was perfect because for a moment there, he had Steve Harrington.

They watched MTV because Steve had cable in his room. Steve made some joke about Robert Palmer girls and Billy laughed and when he turned his head, Steve was just staring at him…

Susan goes to work. Max goes to school.

Billy makes himself busy doing things around the house before pretending to look at want ads even though he’s always too chicken shit to apply for anything.

He feels a little braver today. He circles a couple jobs, makes two calls. He reaches Mr. Haggerty at the hardware store. That sounds promising.

He catches himself smiling for no particular reason. But around noon the high starts to fade. 

It’s not like anything is ever going to happen with Steve again. As if a guy like Steve would want him, a voice that sounds like his dad says in his head-

The phone rings while he’s smoking at the kitchen table, glaring into a Cherry Coke.

He lets it ring. It’s likely for Susan and they have a machine since Neil left, because he’s called a couple times and left nasty messages. 

Billy’s shoulders tense up, half expecting to hear his father’s voice after the beep. 

But-

“Hey…” Steve Harrington’s soft voice might as well be a crack of thunder and Billy’s heart starts thudding. “It’s...Steve. Harrington? Um. I just wanted to uh…”

It takes Billy a moment to collect himself enough to realize he should pick up the damn phone. He stumbles getting to his feet, scrambling to the corner counter in the kitchen where the machine sits.

“Just want to...talk to you um…” Steve laughs. “I dunno what to... Holy shit, please pick up-”

Billy picks up the phone.

“Harrington.” He winces at the crack in his voice.

He’s not as smooth as he used to be.

He clears his throat.

“Hey, what’s up,” he says. 

He bites his lip so hard, he nearly draws blood.

“Oh shit,” Steve says, sighing. “Thank God, you picked up. I had no idea what to say to the machine. Holy shit,”

His voice is so warm in Billy’s ear, and just a little crackling through the phone. It’s like coming in from the cold. Billy slumps against the counter and closes his eyes, holding the receiver so tightly in his hand, his fingers ache.

“You at work?” Billy says.

“Yeah! I’m on lunch,” Steve says. “Um. Slow as hell. I just uhhhh…wanted to...say...hi?” He mutters under his breath: “Goddammit.”

Billy takes a breath and summons the courage and cool that used to come more easily.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?” He says.

That breaks the ice and Steve chuckles in his ear. Billy can practically feel it on his skin.

“I can’t stop thinking about it!” Steve whispers. “I can’t...I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Billy says: “Oh.”

His legs give out a little and he sits down on the floor, his hands shaking so hard, it’s difficult to hold the phone.

Because Steve Harrington can’t stop thinking about him.

“Look, I don’t care if it’s lame or whatever,” Steve goes on, “because like we’ve all almost died ten times. So I don’t give a shit what anybody thinks or anything. Even my parents! I don’t care! I really like you. I like hanging out and...I like...what we did. And...just... do you want to come over tonight? Come over tonight. Don’t make me beg, okay? This speech sounded a lot better in my head. I should’ve written it down-”

“Yeah okay,” Billy says, his head swimming. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Steve says, sighing again. “There’s just one thing. You have to promise me.”

Billy braces himself. “What.”

“If...if you don’t like me,” Steve says, “if it’s not… Just, if you don’t like me like I like you? You have to tell me. Okay? Just don’t lie, like don’t pretend. I can’t pretend shit anymore. Please?”

Jesus. Harrington can make things heavy quick. He didn’t see that coming.

“Okay,” Billy says. “Cool. I promise.”

“Alright,” Steve says, but he sounds farther away now.

It’s almost like maybe he doesn’t believe Billy which causes a sharp pang in Billy’s tender heart. 

“My place at six then?” Steve says. “I’ll order pizza-”

“Cool.”

“Okay.”

“Steve.”

“Yeah?”

“I uh…” Billy rolls his eyes, but that sharp pang doesn’t go anywhere. He licks his lips and says: “I like you? A lot. I… just, I do. I like you. Since...forever. So. Um. Don’t worry about it. Cool?”

The pang is gone. Feels a lot like after Owens gets him to crack his heart open every week. Totally excruciating and then better.

There’s a terrifying pause before Steve says, “Okay. Cool.” And all that warmth is back suddenly and he’s close in Billy’s ear again. Billy can even hear the smile in his voice. “Okay okay! Cool! Okay, I’ll see you at six then!”

Billy checks his watch. It’s only one. So many hours until he sees Steve again, but the anticipation is so acute it almost feels good and he blurts out, “Can’t wait, baby.” 

Steve says, “Jesus Christ… Me either. Kay um...bye.”

Billy hears a giggle before Steve hangs up. 

Five hours seems like a long time, but the minutes are made shorter by the memory of Steve’s warm voice in his ear.

#harringrove #harringrove ficlet

[hitchell-mope]

(First film. Auradon prep library. 11:00 at night)

Evie: need some help?

Ben: yes please

(She uses magic to get Ben and the four books he’s got under his arms down from the ladder)

Ben: thank you.

Evie: anytime. Now. These are the ones you think can help

Ben: the ones I’ve read. Magic lore of the past century. Four volumes. 25 years each.

Evie: this could work. Still can’t believe fairy godmother let use the magic section. Thought it was off limits.

Ben (not entirely paying attention): it is.

Evie: Benjamin you shady little bastard

Ben (now kind of flat ignoring her): yes I thought so

(Evie looks momentarily annoyed. But then she sees he’s staring at jay)

Evie: you will not get far with jay

Ben: hm?

Evie: well. You don’t have freckles. You’re hair’s not curly. And you weren’t effectively raised by Mal from the age of six. Sorry. (Now fully entering the role of sibling). Now Mal on the other hand. I think she would love to date you.

Ben: I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. I don’t even know if

Evie: she does. Trust me. She does.

Ben: ok.

Evie: does anyone else know or...

Ben: no. Just Doug Lonnie and Jane. Please don’t tell anyone else. Please. Especially my parents

Evie: hey hey. I won’t tell. I promise. I won’t tell

Ben: thank you

——————————————————————————————

Doug (sitting down next to Mal): hey.

Mal: hey bud. Sorry about the rat man

Doug: eh. It’s ok. I’m used to it

Mal: if it helps I’m rooting for ya

Doug: not really cause Evie’s made up her mind.

Mal: yeah well she’s wrong. You’re much better than that fake ass bastard. Soon she’ll see. She will see

Doug: you kinda sound like a super villain at the start of his origin story

Mal: I’m not super Doug my friend. Just a villain.

Doug: you know he likes you right

Mal: huh?

Doug: my best friend.

Mal: ah...yeah

Doug: and?

Mal: I like him too.

Doug: but

Mal: he’s him. I’m. Me

Doug: if it helps I’m rooting for ya

Mal (chuckling): it does actually

——————————————————————————————

Lonnie: whatcha drawing

Carlos: Jay

Lonnie: ahhh. May I?

Carlos: yeah sure

Lonnie: wow that’s really good

Carlos: I learned at Mal’s knee

Lonnie: cool.

Carlos: you’re scared of me aren’t you?

Lonnie: no. No. Yes. Yes. A little

Carlos: eh I don’t blame you. I grew up being protected by a dark fairy and a genie. So people know not to mess with me

Lonnie: ah. Question

Carlos: yeah?

Lonnie (pointing Mal then Evie): what’s their damage? They say their friends but they don’t act like it. What happened?

Carlos: I happened

Lonnie: heh?

Carlos: long story involving a heart rip, shrimp, Evie saving my life and Mal punting her into the barrier when they were thirteen

Lonnie: wow. That um

Carlos: sounds absolutely cockamamie and insane

Lonnie: yah

Carlos: buuuut every word of it is true

Lonnie: and you’re

Carlos: family. Mal’s essentially my mother. And Evie’s the sister she wants to throw in a sack and dump in a river. But she keeps her around cause otherwise I’d be upset. They don’t think I know but I do.

Lonnie: and you don’t blame Evie?

Carlos (scoffing): god no. You try denying your parents when they can control you through your literal heart. I don’t blame Evie. But Mal does. And that’s something she’s gotta work through herself

——————————————————————————————

Jay (plopping down next to Jane): god I hate reading. Do you hate reading?

Jane (looking terrified): uuuuhhhhmmmm....

Jay: wow. You really are scared of us aren’t you?

Jane (tiny little voice): yes

Jay: why?

Jane: because you’re

Jay: vks?

(She nods shamefully)

Jay: ohhhh. You don’t have to be.

Jane: I know. But

Jay: it’s difficult to look past the stories. You think I’m gonna turn into a snake and trap you in an hourglass.

Jane: well I do now!

Jay: I won’t though. Even though it would be really, incredibly, ridiculously easy. Just a snap of my fingers to be honest and the venomous fangs come out to play full force

(He hisses. Jane squeaks in terror. And Jay let’s out an enormous belly laugh)

Jay (still laughing): oh I’m sorry. Ahem. I’m sorry.

Jane: that was mean

Jay (feeling a little guilty): I know

Jane: could you teach me magic?

Jay (cracking his 1000 watt smile): certainly

——————————————————————————————

(Midnight. They’re all packing to go back to their dorms)

Carlos (feeling tired and whiny): jaaaaaaaaaay?

Jay: yeah?

Carlos (throwing his arms up): carry me?

Jay: do you even have to ask?

(He hoists Carlos up in his arms, Carlos buries his head in jay’s neck and they leave)

Lonnie: how long have they been together

Evie: oh they’re not

Mal: not yet anyway

Lonnie: why?

Evie: Carlos is waiting for jay to make the first move

Mal: and Jay is completely oblivious

Lonnie (looking at Jane): oh I’ve been there.

Doug: night guys

Mal and Lonnie: night bud

Evie (purposefully ignoring him): yeah night

(Doug leaves but not before he looks longingly at Evie)

Lonnie: hey uh Evie can I talk to you?

Evie: sure

Lonnie: So you and Chad

Evie (smiling happily): I know. He’s so handsome. And funny. And

Lonnie: a user. And a cad. And a cheater

Evie (smile faltering): what?

Lonnie: chad. he cheats on his girlfriends. Then moves on when he gets bored or they find out. He’s ghosted at leat two we know about. He may have “Charming” as a last name but that’s it essentially

Evie: oh my god. I don’t believe it.

Lonnie: I’m sorry

Evie: I don’t believe that Doug put you up to this

Lonnie: what? No! Nononononononononono! He didn’t

Evie (venomously): Chad is a prince. I am a princess no matter what that taffeta wearing pink bitch says! I deserve this

Lonnie: you don’t deserve someone who won’t treat you right

Evie (voice breaking): if not him then who

Lonnie: literally any other boy

Evie: it has to be a prince. It HAS to be. Anything else is not an option. It has to be him

Lonnie (“mom” mode activated): no. It doesn’t. Oh honey

(She goes to hug her but Evie rebukes her)

Evie (absolutely incensed): you don’t know me. You have NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD! I need this. I have no choice I need this. And I’m not going to let you or anybody else take it from me. So keep your pathetic after school special bullshit to yourself and don’t you DARE interre with my love life

(She poofs away in sapphire blue smoke)

Lonnie: I. I’m sorry

Mal: I’m not. She needed to hear it. He’s a dick. Doug isn’t. She should pick Doug

Jane: why?

Mal: because Doug’s my friend. And if she’s with him. Then I don’t have to deal with her

Lonnie: I knew your reason would be altruistic

Mal: ohhhh I’ve never been one for altruism. Back home it’s eat or be eaten sometimes literally

Lonnie: hey funny question. Has Evie ever...

Mal: been interested in girls? Don’t make me cackle kid. Quinlan tried to get her to join her gang sometime last year. But queenie caught wind of it and this is Sparta’d the poor girl. (Fake simpering voice) a prince is only good enough you see

Lonnie: poor girl

Mal: then Antony came along. But Grayson Clayton caught his eye and they joined together. Evie still doesn’t know.

Ben: I’m sorry. That you had to live like that

Lonnie and Jane: I’m sorry too

Mal (smiling in spite of herself): well. My friends and I are here now. And if the plan works. Then me and Jay never have to constantly look over our shoulders to protect Carlos again. I know he knows by the way

Lonnie (aghast): I’m sorry. I swear I tried to

Mal: honey. Relax. I can read minds. Part of my magic. By the way. The compliments very much appreciated but I don’t deserve it Lonnie. The only thing I know of that can repel my magic is iron Jane. And Ben. Think of the arctic. That should help

(Jane looks like she wants the ground to swallow her up. Ben looks guilty. Lonnie looks curious)

Mal: it’s easier to use telepathy here then back home. Nobody’s on constant guard here

Lonnie: the island sounds awful

Ben: QUEEN OF HEARTS!

Jane: huh?

Ben: I uh. I made a notary list. Keeps track of all the children on the isle of the lost

Mal (cocking an eyebrow): impressive. But there’s no use in fetching Quinlan. Once you get sent to Bald Mountain you never return

(An awkward silence follows until Jane looks at the clock and squeals)

Jane: half past pumpkin time!

(She leaves hurriedly)

Mal: pumpkin time

Ben: curfew. Jane’s gotta be back at fairy godmothers suite by midnight

Mal: what’s a curfew?

Ben: oh um. Uh. It’s the time when you have to be in. If not

Lonnie: you get your phone taken away for a couple of days

Mal: what about you guys

Ben: we all have them. Ours were extended for today

Lonnie: it only takes ten minutes to walk back to my room. Hopefully sleeping bitchy’s out cold

Ben: that’s not very nice Lon

Lonnie: you know she’s your ex now. You can badmouth her if you want

Ben: only if I were the dumpee. I’m not. She is. So she can say whatever she wants about me.

Lonnie (not at all buying it): well. Alright. G’night

Ben and Mal: night

(Lonnie leaves)

Mal: and then there were two

Ben: yeah. Heh heh. I liked today

Mal: I liked today as well. Ah

Ben: yes?

Mal: your bloods black. You look like you got attacked by a doctor who monster

Ben (overjoyed): you watch Doctor Who?

Mal: black blood

Ben: right uhhhh. Oh yeah! I chew pens. The ink cartridge must’ve burst and leaked. Can’t believe I didn’t notice it.

Mal: it looks lit it dried about an hour ago. What were you doing then?

Ben: uhhhh (flashback to 11:32 pm when he was chewing on his pen and tuning out Evie waxing poetic about chad in favour of watching Mal talk with Doug). I...don’t...remember

Mal (reading his mind but deciding not to embarrass him): ok. (She takes out a handkerchief) there you go (She starts wiping at the corners of Ben’s mouth. Then pulls away abruptly) here (She hands him the handkerchief and gets up)

Ben: thank you (he finishes cleaning his mouth). Are you ok?

Mal: yea ahem yeah. Always. No. Actually. I’m not.

Ben: why?

Mal: I really don’t wanna say

Ben (realising): oh. Oh god. I’m so sorry. If I’ve ever made you feel uncomfortable I wasn’t my intention

Mal (going up to him and hold his face in her hands): Ben. Listen to me. You did nothing wrong. It’s me. You can safely assume that whenever I’m gloomy. It’s my fault

Ben: why are you gloomy

Mal: because I want something that’s contraband. To me specifically

Ben: not everything’s off limits.

Mal: I’m not here to have fun. Or be happy. I have to. You know what I have to do. And you being here all...we can’t. No matter how much either of us want to.

Ben: ok.

Mal: I’m sorry. But. It’s not your fault. Just remember that it’s never your fault

Ben: but it’s not yours either. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself. You are allowed that.

Mal: I’m not. That’s just the thing. I’m not allowed anything. That could interfere with her... (practically spitting) plans

Ben: oh.

Mal: you know what I think of you. You know how much I. You know. And that’s all it can be

(This is when “Rewrite the stars” happens)

#disney descendants #mal bertha #ben florian #evie grimhilde #jay son of jafar #carlos de vil #doug son of dopey #li lonnie #jane daughter of fairy godmother #zendaya!mal #bal #devie #jaylos #janelonnie #all heavily implied

[astouract]

Synopsis: After years apart, you and James are reunited for a mission to an uncharted island (who knows what island that could be? *wink wink*).

Warnings: uhhhh none

Words: 1824

A/N: I really am getting through the requests you guys send in; I read every one and add it to my list! I just don’t respond until I’ve done them, so I can keep your asks in my inbox for reference. Requests are pretty much always open, though! This one was requested by @apocalypticwafflekitten, I hope you like it! P.S. There is some kind of exciting news in my previous post. This fic probably looks atrocious right now, I’ll fix it in the morning!

——

It was a truly horrible idea, and yet he had agreed to serve as a tracker on Bill Randa’s team, which was departing on an expedition to Skull Island. It was uncharted territory, and he was already imagining how many creatures and diseases could run rampant on the island. If it was uncharted, there had to be a reason why.

And yet there he was; standing off to the side of the large, monotone room, where the team was to gather for the expedition. More and more people trickled in as the minutes passed, and the room slowly started to fill up.

“Who else are we expecting?” James asked, unconsciously rubbing his chin in thought.

“Let’s see… Cole, Mills, (Y/L/N), San—“ Randa began to list off names, none of which James recognized—

“Wait,” James interrupted, “what was that one?”

Randa glanced curiously back down at his clipboard. “San?”

James waved a hand dismissively, peering at the paper. “No, the one before that. You said (Y/L/N)? As in—“

“Sorry I’m late!” A familiar voice called out from the doorway; one that made James’ heart drop. He pried his eyes away from the list of expeditioners, and to his dismay, was met by your own shocked gaze.

“James Conrad!” You squealed, a wide grin gracing your lips as you picked up your pace.

He smiled politely, suddenly feeling immensely uncomfortable and out of place. “How are you?” He asked once you’d reached them, wishing you hadn’t thrown your arms around his shoulders so familiarly. He reciprocated, then took a step back.

“Wonderful, how’re you? It’s been a while.” Still smiling ear-to-ear, you were clearly overjoyed to be there, while James secretly wanted nothing more than to be excused.

Randa nudged James, gesturing towards you. “You two know each other?”

“Oh yes,” you stated happily. “Fairly well, I’d say.”

Randa cocked an eyebrow at James, who smiled nervously. “Yeah, um, there’s some history.”

“Well look at that, we’re already off to a great start. (Y/N) is coming along primarily to photograph the expedition, and (Y/N), James is our tracker.”

James accidentally met your eyes as you nodded enthusiastically. “Lovely.”

James stared down at his feet, listening to the rustling of dry leaves around the group as it made its way through the forest. Just as he’d expected, things were already going to hell—the helicopters began to act up as the team neared the island, you started having a panic attack amidst the chaos, and that’s not even mentioning the gargantuan ape that inhabited the land. The team had lost too many men already, but it was too late to leave—there was no way off.

“Hey, Connie boy!” You sang, pulling James from his thoughts as you picked up your pace to keep up.

He smiled politely, glancing to the side for what was supposed to be a quick acknowledgment. Instead, his gaze lingered on your features, and he realized just how much you’d changed in such tiny ways.

Your hair was at least four inches shorter now, and it complimented your face well. You were more tan, and a thousand familiar freckles dotted your cheeks and nose. Your eyes were still the same, but they had more stories to tell. They held a more mature, happy glimmer.

It seemed like you were doing well.

“Where are we setting up camp for the night?” You asked, and James pried his gaze away from you.

“I’m not quite sure yet.”

You chuckled, “Do you remember our first mission together? We had to share a tent because mine was torn up by the time we arrived.”

James nodded, how could he forget?

There was a pause, and then you spoke up again—much quieter. “Tell me honestly… Do you think we’ll make it off the island?”

James’ eyebrows knitted together in concern as he noticed the suddenly solemn expression you wore. “Of course we will.” Everything in him wanted to reach out and pull you near, to run his fingers soothingly through your hair like he knew you loved.

But he couldn’t. You weren’t his anymore, you’d left him without a word or warning. He’d forgiven you long ago, but the memory still stung—butterfly stitches can only hold deep wounds closed for so long.

“We’ll set up here,” James suddenly announced, noticing the surroundings were more than ideal compared to everywhere else you’d passed. It was enough to snap him back into reality, no matter how cruel it was.

The group came to a stop, and instinctively began the preparations for the night. It was only an hour or two until sundown, and there was still plenty to do. Up ahead, Packard began assigning roles to others in the group, and—after letting everyone know—James ducked into the brush to gather firewood and search for freshwater.

The terrain was unforgiving, thorny vines and thick branches covering his rocky path. Why on earth had he agreed to come along on this expedition? Was it pride, money, or the ache to take part in something a little bigger than himself, at least one more time? Regardless, he was here, and he had a large group of people to send back home safely.

James whipped around as a short shriek came from just behind, where you were flinching away from a thin, green snake that had coiled itself around a branch.

“How long have you been following me?” He asked, watching as you snuck around the creature—it was a good sign, because it meant there was likely freshwater nearby.

You stepped over some thorn bushes, and stopped only a foot away from James. “I followed when you left the camp site.”

He didn’t say anything, but turned back around to continue his search. There was plenty of wood to be gathered on the way back, so his primary concern was finding water.

“You’re awfully quiet,” you said softly, with a hint of question in your tone. “It’s not like you.”

“I just don’t have a lot to say.”

You’d caught up to him, and were now walking right by his side. “You don’t have a lot to say? I know you better than that. Look,” you stumbled over a tree branch, and James instinctively reached out to brace you before you could fall. He was about to pull away, but you held on tightly and stopped him.

“Can we talk? It’s been two years since we’ve seen each other.”

“And whose fault is that?” James snapped, immediately regretting it. The way your face fell nearly cut through him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You-“

“In fact, I’d rather not talk about it. The past is the past, right?” He interrupted, attempting a smile.

“James,” you sighed, in that sympathetic tone he knew too well.

“I’m fine, (Y/N).” He started walking again, and he heard you run a few steps to catch up.

“James, please!” You urged, “Talk to me!”

He didn’t even have time to think before he threw his hands up in the air, stopping dead in his tracks. “About what? Should I talk about how it’s been two years since I’ve even heard a single word from you? Or maybe about how I really, really liked you—hell, I might’ve even loved you—and you left? Without a single word or explanation?”

“I told you I had to go,” You murmured, your voice unsteady. “I told you where I was going, and where you could meet me—I waited for you every night, and you never came.” You blinked hard, tears welling up in your eyes.

“You never told me any of that,” James said lowly, his eyebrows knitting together as he watched your perfect facade crumble away.

You nodded, bringing your clenched hand up to rest over your mouth. “I left you a letter. It was in your desk, it was right there in the drawer. I thought you knew…”

“You couldn’t have called?” The thick jungle had faded away, and the unknown dangers along with it. All that remained was you and him, and the haze of miscommunicated memories.

“I couldn’t. It was a confidential training relocation, I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody. And it was so sudden, I-“ There was a dead silence as both of you worked your way through what the other was saying.

“They could listen in on my phone calls, they could read my texts; the only thing that was safe was a letter. I’m such an idiot, I should’ve known when you didn’t come…” Tears were falling freely down your face, and James watched as you continued to try to wipe them away.

“I’m so sorry,” He rasped, “all this time…”

Before he could react, you had your arms thrown around his neck and your face hidden in the crook of his neck. It was a familiar feeling, one he hadn’t experienced in so long—it felt like home.

“You thought I just left you,” you cried, as James enveloped you tightly in his arms. “I’m so sorry, I was so sure you’d get the letter.”

James smiled softly, willing the tears from his eyes as he held you close. Your hair smelled like coconut and strawberries, and it was soft against his cheek. He felt your fingertips ghost along his back to his shoulder as you pulled away, facing him with a certain glint in your eye.

“You loved me?” You asked, smiling sheepishly up at him.

James lingered on your words, lifting some tresses of your hair into his palm. He let them run through his fingers like water, dropping back down to your shoulder. His blue eyes met yours, and it was almost as if you’d never left.

Your lips looked incredibly soft and inviting, and he couldn’t help but notice the way you were slowly inching closer. God, he wanted to know if you still tasted the same.

“From the moment we met.”

With that, his lips found yours and closed the distance. Your soft hands cupped his face as he held your waist, pulling you as close to himself as possible. You pulled away to catch your breath, and he took a moment to appreciate that look on your face that he hadn’t seen in years.

“We should probably get back to looking for water,” you said quietly, although there were only the trees around as witnesses.

James grinned, taking a step forward as you smiled suspiciously and took one back. “Probably…”

Your back came into contact with the trunk of a tree, and James took it as the perfect opportunity to crash his lips onto yours. There was a sense of silent need in your movements, in the way you grasped at his blue shirt and tugged him even closer.

“It’s getting dark,” you pointed out hesitantly.

James briefly glanced upwards, but he already knew exactly what the sky looked like. “Trust me,” he said with a coy smile, “we have plenty of time.”

#original post #james conrad x reader #captain james conrad #james conrad #kong skull island #kong #imagine #tom hiddleston #james conrad masterlist #james conrad imagines #james x reader

[autumn-pines]

Eh, Who Needs Love?

Time and time again romance has failed for both Stan and Wendy. But hey, who needs love when you can just have fun stealing a diamond and picking some locks?

EDIT-This fic now has a sequal-When You Can Steal Diamonds?

  Today was turning out to be rather strange.

It started out alright, it was only when Wendy was just hanging out with her friends before heading out to work and be fashionably late did things start to become a little weird.

Wendy had been listening to Robbie chatter on about his new album until suddenly Robbie paused. Wendy glanced over only to see that he was staring at Tambry, who was standing next to Nate and Lee as they tried out a new handshake.

After a few seconds, Tambry looked up and smiled at Robbie, who instantly smiled back, his cheeks reddening.

Wendy blinked in confusion, wondering how a simple glance could make Robbie blush. She tilted her head, trying to think if there was a time when she blushed and smiled from Robbie looking at her.

Nothing came to mind.

On her way to the Shack, she couldn't help but ponder how Robbie and Tambry were actually in a good relationship and happy.

She had dated like what, at least six guys and none of their relationships lasted beyond three weeks, tops. They just never felt right, plus awkwardness always hagged at Wendy whenever the guys tried to have an intimate moment or kiss her.

She just...didn't want it.

But wasn't she supposed to?

"Something on your mind, kiddo? Or do you like staring at the wall for ten minutes straight?"

Wendy flinched as the voice intruded her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. She turned her head and saw Stan leaning against his 8-ball cane, his eyebrows pointedly raised at her.

Quickly, Wendy allowed a casual look to slide in and for her body to relax. "Oh, hey, Stan."

"That's Mr. Pines for-" Stan began, his voice firm until he stopped, his expression considerate, and then shrugged. "Eh, you know what? I don't care. I've been called worse things."

Wendy rolled her eyes loosely, but then squinted at her boss as a thought struck her. Has Stan ever been in a relationship that has lasted longer than any of hers? She couldn't recall a time where he had not been slapped or getting a blank stare after trying to flirt, but still...

"Heya, so, Stan." Wendy started, trying to phrase the question in a non-weird manner. "Have you ever been in a relationship that lasted longer than a few weeks?"

"Um," Stan leaned back a bit, looking confused at the sudden turn in topic. "Whaddya' mean? Like, a romantic relationship?"

At Wendy's nod, Stan's eyes traveled to the ceiling. "Uhhhh. Yes. I had girlfriend about forty years ago. That lasted for about a month, though. But hey, I did get married!"

Wendy gave him a skeptic look. "I don't think that creepy statue counts, Stan."

Stan slapped a hand to his chest, giving her an offended look. "I'll have you know that Goldie is a fantastic money-maker! But nah, I wasn't talking about that. I got married to a gal once, until she tried to steal my car less than an hour later. Why are you asking sudden personal questions anyways?"

Wendy bit her tongue, unsure on how to answer, or even if she should answer. Eh, this probably wouldn't cost her job. "Uh, so you know my ex-boyfriend, Robbie?"

"Ya' mean that creepy teen with black hair and skinny jeans?"

"Um, yes."

"Then sure, what about him? Do I have another reason to punch a teenager?" Stan cracked his knuckles, his face eerily eager.

"And that would be a no. Sorry." Wendy denied, a large part of her amused. "But um, anyways, Robbie and Tambry have started dating like a few days ago, and they're so happy? Like, they smile and touch each other a lot and I just don't get why?"

She sighed, frustrated with her lack of understanding. "And just-I don't know. None of my relationships were like that and I've dated a lot of guys. It seems so weird to me for someone to just blush if another person looks at them. And it never felt right when someone tried to kiss me or something."

"Plus, everyone at the high school keep talking about who they like and whenever I say I don't like someone I get these looks. I don't see why I have to be with someone when I could just have some fun with my friends."

Unable to think of anything else to say, Wendy fell silent, and then started when she realized she just ranted to her boss about her confusion with relationships. Welp. At least it wasn't Mabel.

"Hm. Yeah, I see where you're comin' from." Stan spoke up nonchalantly.

"Wai-really?"  Wendy asked, surprised. That...was not quite the answer she'd been expecting.

"Yup."

"Okay, nooo offense, Stan, but you like-flirt with a lot of ladies. And didn't you try to hook up with Lazy Susan once?" Wendy questioned, confused on how Stan out of all people could understand her.

"Uh, yeah. But um, I'll admit, kid. I kinda always found it strange, too." Stan admitted rather haltingly, his eyes looking at everywhere but her. "Back in my day, uh, a lot of kids were talkin' about their girlfriends or boyfriends too, and I just was never interested in it. I did try it, to try and see what everyone was yappin' about, but it just didn't work out."

He shrugged, "And well, I guess I still do try every once and awhile. Habits die hard, y'know? But honestly, I don't care for that mushy romantic stuff..." He trailed off, his expression steadily growing more and more awkward.

"So you've, never enjoyed being in a relationship?" Wendy cocked her head, interested.

"Well, it was nice and all being around someone I liked. But that someone always just expected something else from me that I guess I don't have." Stan reflected, shifting his hands on the cane.

“But, arn't we supposed to like someone?” Wendy scratched at the wood with her nails, frowning.

“Meh. People are supposed to like a lot of things, but some people don't. I’m supposed to like obeying the law, but I don't. I can’t see why just wanting some friends would be wrong. You do you.” Stan rubbed the back of his neck.

"Huh. Wow-that's, that's pretty cool." Wendy grinned, feeling relief that she apparently wasn't the only one that felt uninterested in being in a relationship. And to think that it was her boss she was relating to.

"If you say so, kid.” Stan coughed. "But enough of this weird talk. I've already taught you how to pick high-quality locks right? 'Cause I've heard that there's a diamond in the bank downtown, and I think it's about time for you to move past shoplifting and onto committing a real crime."

Wendy's grin only stretched wider. "Sounds great to me. But I am not going to be the one to pay our bail."

"Bail?" Stan's eyebrows scrunched together. "Who said we were going to get caught?"

Later, while definitely driving more than sixty miles per hour away from the bank and wailing police cars, Wendy glanced over at Stan, who was laughing about how they managed to escape, and cleared her throat. "Hey, Stan?"

Stan stopped and looked over at her with a mischievous grin. "What's up, kid?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever, kiddo. Anytime."

And I’m going to tag @mistrel-fox and @knights-in-two-dreams since they wanted a fic like this. Hope you guys enjoy!

Anyways, this was fun to write! The diamond theft is based off a cut storyline involving Stan and Wendy, and I thought why not. I decided not to include the diamond-stealing scene, so that this was kept at a reasonable length, but I'm considering writing that part out in a different fic if anybody's interested! 

#My Fic #Stanley Pines #Wendy Corduroy #Stan and Wendy bonding #Gravity Falls

[danatole-headcanons]

Ace, Andy, Kena, and Vic’s Danatole Kid Hcs

@melchirits

* THE KIDS * * helo naught xhildern, it’s danatole child time * THE KIDS: Fyodor(Theo) and Lucette (Lucy) Dolokhov-Kuragin * Dickle * every close friend/relative gets One Name to suggest * all of them are really good and considerate…………..until they go to balaga, a family friend * they tell balaga that he has One Chance……. And the name he choses is dickle * “ok balaga you have one shot at this, don’t fuck it up” * “ok ok hear me out. dickle.” * anatole is dying * dolokhov is having a heart attack in the background, im fucking wheeding * “ok but give me at least three chances” * “hear me out: succulent butterfly or FUCKING NUTMOBILE” “why’d you scream the second one?” “Because it should be in all caps” “get the fuck out” * “you had one chance, WE’RE NOT NAMING OUR GOTDAM SON DICKLE” * “but can the middle names spell dickle, what about troika” * “balaga please get out of our house it’s midnight” * “how about pikachu. Or ash ketchum.” * fedya, screaming from the background, heart attack paused: “YES” “i think i thought of the perfect name” balaga literally gets to anatole’s height by climbing him and whispers, “the loud THX noise from that one movie.”[a] * “name the child the THX noise” “balaga,,,,its been four days please leave” * he Won’t give up * Other balaga recommendations: * FUCKING NUTMOBILE * lucas steele, and variants * paul pinto * razor boy * succulent * marvin * paul pinto in khakis * lucifer * succulent butterfly * lampost * trash can * naruto * pikachu * ash ketchum * kukas steeke * THX noise * fursuit * (anatole kicks him out after that one) * ALSO * “fedya you are the father” * “so are you” * “oh shit true” * the first child (theo) grows up and learns that they were literally almost named fucking nutmobile and is ready to deck both balaga and their dads * balaga is like “im gonna teach your kid how to drive” * anatole astral projects while Everyone it holding fedya back from destroying balaga * balaga teaches the kid how to drive anyway bc fedya and anatole can’t stop him * so the kid gets pulled over by a cop the first time they drive (w/balaga) bc of course * the police person is just like “I KNOW YOU” and balaga screams “FLOOR IT” * “green means go, red also means go probably, yellow means speed up” * “balaga why is my kid crying” “,,,,,,,,,,reasons” * balaga calls theo dickle forever bc he can * Lucy has Fedya’s Determination and she does everything balaga does better * balaga cries into a wine bottle on the pavement * “balaga eating saltines and chugging wine on the sidewalk”~Quote from Ace * one time balaga takes lucy out for night lessons * fedya wakes up as this is happening and has a panic attack because “where is our kid oh dear god” * he literally sprints out into the driveway and balaga screams “FUCKING FLOOR IT” and lucy’s doing all sorts of pro maneuvers * while balaga ends up hanging on for dear life because “oh so this is what it’s like to be my passenger” * “lucy lucifer” * balaga has a corkboard full of parking tickets he never paid, he hoards them like trophies * (balaga voice) speed limit 420 haha nice

* “Balaga that says 42,,,” * “if i put four engines in my car,,,” * balaga owns a school bus that’s decked out like a monster truck * balaga works for uber AND lyft, like a double agent * one time he gets an uber and lyft at the same time so hes like fuck it and gets them both * fuzzy dice on rearview mirror * balaga’s car is named nutmobile & it has a nut sticker * balaga sleeps in his car in a walmart parking lot at night?? * on lucy’s first birthday balaga teaches lucy how to say fuck and fedya decks him in the street * balaga picks lucy up from school or something one day and he saw her and just yelled “HEY LUCIFER” * lucy whips around like YEAH FUCKASS WHAT DO YOU WANT, she was like 14 * BALAGA IS LITERALLY AT ANATOLE AND FEDYAS HOUSE ALK THE TINE AND HE IS JUST YELLING LUCIFER ALL GHE TIME AND FEDYA ID LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP BALAGA * balaga runs like naruto * balaga was the babysitter literally all the time * balaga worked as a gym teacher for a month before getting fired * (“what’d he get fired for?” “nothing you can prove”) ~Andy and Ace * someone else parks in his parking spot and he just keys the car * balaga worked as a librarian for two hours before being fired for telling the kids to shut the fuck up * balaga never gets fired from uber no matter what * Review: 5/5. Almost died but i got to my destination, 30 minutes away, in 2 minutes. * “LUCY, HYPERDRIVE” * balaga has completely taken over anatole & fedya’s garage * they try to walk in one time like “is this is fucking dead rat” and he shoots them with a paintball gun and says “no this is covfefe” * Balaga goes as a gc egg shaker for halloween w the kids * “No you just hear the beads and then theres tiny egg man” ~Kalvin * “yeah the guy who lives in our garage uhhhh tiny egg man” ~Theo * lucy draws balaga and he says “hell yeah fanart,” hangs it up on like the ceiling of his car * when lucy and theo play mario kart she always chooses rainbow road * chooses monopoly for Family Game Night * “lucy please we’ve been playing for three days” “no it’s blond dad’s turn” * anatole’s dying on the floor, fedya’s crying, theo’s dissociating * theo’s a hide and seek master

*They watch Buzzfeed Unsolved * lucy & theo go ghost hunting, lucy’s humming the ghostbusters theme and theo’s shaking like a leaf in the corner with ten vials of holy water on him * “hey demons it’s me, ya boi” “LUCY NO” * “COME AT ME DEMONS!” “L U C Y P L E A S E” * Theo is Dipper Pines * lucy is always ready to Deck People (kalvin style) * lucy has a pokeball in her backpack to throw at people she doesnt like * the guys at school call her “hellraiser” and the girls call her “lucifer” * theo and lucy are Not Straight in the slightest * lucy is pan, theo is gay & ace, & also trans * lucy makes so many innuendos she got detention multiple times because of it * theo can play literally any instrument and spent his money on bookfairs in elementary school * Theo knows that anybody who plays violin is a basic bitch so he plays viola instead * “Fyodor jr.!” “Sorry dad, you’re basic.” ~Convo with Anatole * theo quickly become better at gambling than fedya, it switches from fedya letting him win to him actually getting demolished, fedya cries * lucy does the thing where it looks like you’re doing ballet but then you go over to someone and kick them in the face * lucy literally carries around a bag of glitter to throw on people when they say/do something stupid * lucy’s ringtone is the THX noise and it’s always so fucking loud * ippolit kuragin is the cool uncle but also cryptid * is a fashion designer in NY apparently * unrelated: (dolokhov voice) me me big anxiety * theo stans all the murder musicals * also is totally straight for phillipa soo * also stans all things LMM * lucy’s contact pick for Blond Dad is That anatole pic * lucy is team valor and theo is team instinct * fedya’s valor, anatole’s mystic (prettiest logo???), balaga’s instinct * everyone outs poor anatole for being on team mystic * “so uh anatole what team did you pick?” “mystic” “oh because they’re smart and stuff–” “no, they’re the most aesthetic * the kids are highkey competitive about pokemon * anatole does that thing where he does 600000 soft restarts to get a shiny starter * he REALLY LOVES alolan vulpix!! * lucy has an embarrassing collection of photos of anatole * Balaga insists on giving the kids The Talk * theo didn’t talk for a week after but it could have gone much worse * someone: so how’d It Go? * theo, shaking, looking up with the purest fear in his eyes: it could have been worse * balaga teaches theo to curse * also, someone @ theo : “fuck, i mean shoot! im so sorry!!” theo, drinking a glass of vodka: what the fuck you can swear around me i literally fuckimg 21 years old what the shit * theo, quietly: in the heights is better than hamilton * lucy, a floor down: EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME * once lucy asked balaga “hey do you sell drugs” * and balaga was like “no why, do you need them? bc i can get you them” * everyone sees theo as the calm kid, but if you talk shit about his family he Will duel you in a denny’s parking lot @ 3am hamilton style * there’s always the option to go live in the garaga with balaga * Theo’s secret dating the Andreirretasha kid, Nico(lai) * They are the cutest couple™ * Okay some Mama Helene™ bs * Helene was the mom, Fedya was the dad * “Helene and Dolokhov arm-in-arm,” * Lucy looks like a mini Helene, Theo looks like a mini Fedya * The only difference between Helene and Lucy is while Helene has the green-hairpiece-thing, Lucy wears a mauve bow * On Lucy’s fourteenth bday, Helene bent down to eye-level, look soulfully into her eyes, and said this: * “Lucy, as my daughter, i feel as if you should have this..” * It’s a necklace that says “Bitch” * Lucy was 13 when she started her drunk text collection * On Lucy’s 16 bday, helene gave her her most prized possession * “Lucy, I want you to have this, I was going to give it to you later in life, but you’ve come so far already..” * She pulls out a book from her purse, written in fancy calligraphy on it are the words “Burn Book” * “Lucy this is everything that someone i know has done wrong, treat it with care…” * It was one of the only times lucy has ever cried * You bet your ass there’s an entire section dedicated to Anatole * “Anatole, age 1-6, Anatole, Age 7-10, Anatole, Age 11-13, Anatole, Age 14-18, etc” * Theres even some stuff about Cryptid-Uncle-Ippolit * “Hey dad? Remember when you and uncle Pierre tied to guy to a bear for shits and giggles?” * Theo is on the spectrum * Helene got him a fidget cube * He and Lucy do sibling costumes * Theo is a gangly mess of limbs like how does the kid function * Theo was cis-passing when he started dating Nico * When he told him he was trans, Nico just shrugged and kissed him alot * Yeah so I love these kids and might write a fic

#be gondrey chat #nutmobile chat #helene bezukhova #helene kuragina #pierre bezukhov #andreirretasha #natasha rostova #anatole kuragin #fedya dolokhov #fyodor dolokhov #danatole #natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #the pride of sacrifice #balaga

[lostlegendaerie]

Fluff Week Prompt: It starts like this: Chorus has A LOT of feral cats. It ends like this: Wash running Chorus's first new animal shelter and spay/release program.

I DIDN’T REMEMBER THAT YOU SAID ‘A LOT OF CATS’ AND JUST REMEMBERED WASHINGTON WITH STRAY CATS, ANYWAY, I WROTE THIS MOSTLY ON THE BUS AND IN THE LAST HOUR, GOD HELP ME I’M BACK ON MY SHIT.

Rating: T for language and (non-violent) animal death. Ship: TuckingtonWord Count: 2.5K

—–

The first time Washington watches a cat crawl from a ruined building, he almost mistakes it for a rat (or one of the terrifying Chorus mega-rodents) and shoots. But then the ears twitch, distinctive triangles, and he drops his gun with a clatter.

The next day, he leaves a bowl of meat scraps in its path, and comes back to see it rotten and swollen with insects. He tries a trail camera and only catches shadows of movement - spends three days in the archives trying to find a map of the building so he can find its other lanes of travel without stomping all overs it’s personal space - and the fourth time he tries to slip out of the mess with half a raw fish in his armor Tucker catches.

“Surprised you didn’t try shoving that in your codpiece,” he snarks. Wash gives him a dry look. “… okay, but seriously, what’s with you? You’re all– twitchy. I’m worried you’re gonna start blowing up bodies or shooting Donut again.”

“No, I’m–” he looks around to see if anyone else is paying attention; when he turns back to Tucker, the sim-trooper’s expression is even more suspicious. “I found a cat.”

“… And? You scared of them?”

“No!”

Tucker looks down at the fish in Wash’s hands, that’s starting to smell and shed scales the longer it’s handled. “Ohhhh my god you’re trying to make friends with it. You’re trying to make friends with it and failing. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard–”

Wash spins on his heel and makes to storm off. He makes it two steps before a hand claps on his shoulder and he’s sorely tempted to slam the fish in Tucker’s stupid, beautiful face and grind the meat into it. “Fuck off.”

“Hey, man, I wanna help.”

Now it’s Washington’s turn to look suspicious. “Have you ever, wanted to help anybody, in your entire life?”

Tucker pokes him in the chest. “Happens as much to me as it does to you, jackass. You gonna let me or not?”

Washington gives him another once over, digging for ulterior motives in Tucker’s expression - he knows they have to be there, he just can’t find them yet - but the smell of the fish is getting obnoxious so he concedes.

“Fine. You can help.”

“Awesome! Lavernius Tucker, solver of pussy problems, is on the case.”

The winsome smile accompanying that does nothing to stem Washington’s immediate buyers remorse.

—

“And why the fuck,” says Grif, choosing Now of all times to take his job as supply supervisor seriously, “would I loan you the infrared surveillance equipment?”

“I swear, it’s for Washington!”

He snorts. “If you wanted to see him naked, you could probably just ask him.”

“I–” Tucker takes a second to process what Grif means, and then another second to imagine actually getting Washington to strip for him. “It’s not to look at Washington, it’s to help him out with– something.”

“So you’re helping him peep at the girls?”

“No!”

This apparently has exhausted all of Grif’s possible scenarios for the infra-red, and he stands staring at Tucker. If he wasn’t wearing his helmet, Tucker assumes Grif would be gaping.

“Why?”

“He wants to catch this cat or something, I don’t care, the point is, I’m going to be there as Agent Washington looks like a total sap cooing over feral animals and somebody has to record this. For blackmail.”

“Now now, Tucker, you know it’s polite to ask before you start recording!” Donut rounds the corner just then, sounding as chipper as ever. “That being said, Grif, I totally think you should give it to him.”

Grif clutches the crate of equipment closer to his chest. “Fuck off, Donut.”

“No, really! I think it’d be a great bonding opportunity for Washington to see Tucker in heat!”

“Uh… thanks?” Tucker ventures, reaching for the crate while keeping a close eye on Donut.

“Sure thing, Tucker. You know I love to play for your team.” His pink helmet tips in a perfect approximation of a flirtatious wink, and Tucker snatches the crate out of Grif’s hands and bolts.

Washington is waiting for him at the coordinates listed with a cooler in his hand (that Tucker is pretty sure was stolen from medical and was designed for organ transportation) and a mistrustful stare.

“I thought you stood me up,” the ex-Freelancer admits, making room behind the bench for Tucker to kneel. They’re across the street from an abandoned building a few miles away from the main base in Armonia, and there’s little signs of previous stakeouts; a scope, a food bowl with bits of dried meat stuck to it, a handful of towels.

Cute, thinks Tucker, and then comes back to the present with a shiver. Guess Donut rubbed off on him.

… Wait.

“What’s with the gear?”

“Oh, it’s infrared, that way we can spy, uhhhh, survey the cats without bothering them. Or something. That’s what you’re supposed to do with cats, right? Give them their space?”

Washington is already starting to set up the equipment. “Depends on the cat,” he says, pulling out the legs on a tripod. “The one I had in high school was a real sweetheart. Wouldn’t sleep on my bed but whenever I came home from school he wanted to be in my lap as I did homework.”

The mental picture of a young Washington - especially a young Washington with a cat - seems like another, fresh impossibility. Tucker checks the settings on the infrared camera and passes it over, letting Washington struggle attaching it to the base as he picks at the dried food in the dish.

“I never had any pets.”

“… Really?”

“I had a pet toad for like, a week. Then I had to let it go.” He’d kind of forgotten about that until now. Spikeball was a small, fat fellow who trilled whenever Tucker picked him up. (Later, of course, he learned that all male toads made this sound either in distress or as a mating call, but Tucker wanted to believe that his younger self had been gentle with the little bastard.) “Other than that, the closest thing I had to an animal in my house was one of my ex-girlfriends. Roxanne.”

“I was starting to feel bad for you,” Washington says dryly, “and then you had to ruin the moment.”

“What moment, dude? Not like I missed out on much. Pets are like babies, but they can’t talk and they die way faster.”

For a moment, he thinks Washington’s silence is because he saw something through the camera. But then his yellow-striped helmet turns Tucker’s way and he says, slowly and deliberately as loading a gun, “just because it’s temporary doesn’t mean you don’t remember it forever.”

Tucker stares. Washington goes back to working on setting up the infrared, and by the time Tucker finds his tongue the moment is long, long gone.

—–

He’d been skeptical about the idea at first, but after they’d found the little uneven spot of orange in one corner of a room, Washington had been riveted. It could be a sleeping cat, or two. Maybe even kittens. They’d just have to wait and see.

Between the two of them, they manage to keep up a near constant watch all day; tagging out to do their part in the Chorus rebuild and tagging back in for their free time. By now it’s evening, the pair of them together behind the stone bench and Tucker’s keeping his boredom surprisingly under wraps.

“So, obviously, you can’t kill Donut since you tried that once and failed, therefore marry and… maybe fuck Simmons? He’s part robot. I wonder if his ass vibrates. You into robots any? I mean, who isn’t these days, everyone lives in their armor anyway and aside from like a sense of identity robots are basically the same–”

“What if it’s kittens?”

Tucker stops gesturing with his hands. “… You’d fuck kittens?” he asks, laying on his back beside Washington in a pose that cannot be comfortable. In retaliation, Washington flicks him in the visor.

“No, the building. What if it’s kittens? What if their mom isn’t coming back?”

“Oh.” He rolls over then, resting on his elbows. “… Do you wanna go get them?”

“I don’t… know. We’ve been here for hours. I’d think the mother would have come back by now. I mean, it’s possible that– hey,” he cuts himself off as Tucker gets to his feet and starts walking away. “Where are you going?”

“We’re gonna go get your kittens, Wash. Duh.”

Washington stares at him for another moment, mutters a dumbass under his breath and follows him in.

Led by the lights on their helmets and guilded by the tracking marker Washington had set, they wander the abandoned building together. It looks like something out of a classic horror game; old advertisements ruined by water and sunlight until the ink runs, rust stains on the walls from hard water leaks, hungry holes in the floor with exposed rebar fangs that Washington more than once tugs a distracted Tucker away from. But it’s Tucker who spots the cats first.

“Shit, dude,” he says, and at first glance Washington assumes it’s from affection. There’s a half dozen of the things, moving slowly and weakly in the beam of their flashlights under the cover of an old box. But then he recognizes the still shape laying beside them as their mother’s body, wrapped around them even in death.

Part of the floor crumbles under his boots and distantly he hears Tucker’s voice spike with concern, but all that matters to Washington is getting to the cats. “Easy, easy,” he says, in a voice that belongs to a man who died years ago, “I got you.”

He pulls off his helmet and scoops each of the kittens into it, using it like a makeshift basket. They’re small and dirty and so skinny it hurts, but one of them hisses when he reaches for it and Washington feels his heart might burst.

“I can’t hold them all,” Washington says, scooping up the angriest of the bunch and holding it out to Tucker. “Can you take this one?”

“Oh. Uh… yeah, s-sure,” he stammers, accepting the little bundle with more care than Washington has seen him use for live explosives. “No problem.”

“Let’s get them back to base. We should be able to find some stuff to make food for them. I don’t think they’ll need formula, but we’ll see.”

Tucker is unusually quiet the long walk back, but that’s all right. Washington talks enough for both of them, keeping his voice light and soothing as he tries to think of things the kittens should stay alive for.

—-

Tucker has fucked up. Like, spectacularly fucked up. Fucked up in ways that would go down in history books, if anyone still wrote the damn things and if they ever covered anything other than how cool white men were. Not only had he signed away all of his free time in the foreseeable future, but he had to spent it wrangling with mewling, biting, shitting kittens.

The worst part? Washington adored them. The worst worst part? Seeing a badass ex-Freelancer use the laser on his sniper rifle to entertain a grey striped shitbag while using a cute voice made Tucker fucking hard. Like, really hard. Stomach cramps level of horny.

“Grey,” he laments one time as they’re watching Washington towel dry one of the kittens after she’d gotten into some spilled motor oil, “I think I’m dying.”

“Not yet, you’re not!” she pronounces, elbowing him - hard - in the side. “Your fluctuating levels of testosterone and oxytocin are a natural byproduct of the paternal bond.”

“God, not that shit again.”

“Speaking of again, do you finally have time to show me the scars left behind by your parasitic pregancy with–”

Tucker jumps off the crate he’d been hunched over and approaches Washington. “Hey there, you look like you need an extra hand.”

“Uh, I guess. Knifle’s just about dry, but I wanna take a look at Puma again. He’s not been eating as much as he should.”

Tucker does a quick head count of the kittens in the towel lined box. “Hey, where’s the really pretty one? The one with the two different eyes?”

“Yorkie’s with Carolina,” Washington says, nodding to the woman seated on the other side of the room, grinning as the black and tan kitten sinks her tiny teeth into the gloved hand, tail lashing back and forth. “And I think Grif ran off with Kirk again. Now that he knows all the girls love the kittens, he keeps making Simmons hold them or something.”

“Hahaha, dumb girls,” Tucker says, biting the inside of his lip as Washington gently cleans out the white and tan cat’s ears. He’s seen those hands pulls the pins on grenades, plunge a knife through a man’s neck, dislocate arms; but it’s holding a goddamn kitten that makes his palms sweat and his mouth water. Fuck me, he thinks as both a swear and a plea.

“You know, you still haven’t named yours.”

“Mine?”

Washington nods at the grey striped one curled up in an angry orb, obviously trying to sleep as his littermates walked all over him. “You carried him home. You get to name him. Never too late for a pet”

“I don’t want a cat, Wash.” No, it’s not the kittens that keep him coming back. … Well, maybe a little. Just a bit. Knifle is pretty cute like this, now that she’s stopped screaming.

“He doesn’t have to be yours. But you should name him. Caboose named the black one Sparkles,” Washington adds, in a voice that suggests that somehow, Tucker’s naming of the thing could save it from a fate worse than death.

“You realize I could name it something awful, right? Like Pussy Destroyer? Or Church?” Church at least would be accurate. God knows the fucker bit him enough times to remind him of his old, teammate-shooting friend.

Washington raises one eyebrow, and fuck if Tucker doesn’t get hit with need in the pit of his stomach again. Goddamn it.

“… Spikeball?”

The eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, which doesn’t make him that much less fuckable.

“You know, because he’s like… Full of teeth and stuff. And claws.” Tucker tries to mime the little bastard’s propensity for violence, but he’s pretty sure he just looks like a dumbass.

“Those are really your top three? Never mind, then,” Washington says with a grimace. “Figures. Forgot you named your kid Junior.”

“Here’s an idea, then,” and Tucker pokes Washington in the forehead, right between his stupid judgy eyebrows, “Recovery One. One for short.”

His expression shifts under Tucker’s fingertip. “You’re naming him after me?”

“Sure. Bitey grey bastard I helped rescue, why not?”

Washington blinks at him, as if searching his expression for something. Tucker forces himself to hold eye contact, even as the intensity makes him swallow.

“… I could live with that one,” he says at last, fixing his gaze firmly on Knifle. Now that it’s gone, Tucker wants his attention back, and huffs as he adjusts his kneel.

“Glad to have your permission, Dad.”

Washington snorts.

#rvbficwars #tuckington #saro's writing #queseraawesome #RvB fluff week #i'm not saying i called the google doc of this Pussy Problem but