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angelofthequeers · 3 years

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hi, i was making an aroace sapphic character and wondered if you could give me any tips? :)

I can sure try! If anyone is uncomfortable with semi-explicit talk about sex (in terms of smutty writing and vague personal anecdotes) then feel free to skip over the asexuality part. I’m mostly going to talk about my own experiences as an aroace sapphic to try and offer more depth than just generic character advice. And this is my experience; not every aroace is the same. I’ll also refer to your character with she/her pronouns but they might not be the ones that she uses, so I apologise in advance if that’s the case.

So this is assuming that she’s fully aroace instead of, like, somewhere else on the aro and ace spectra (such as demisexual or greyromantic). I direct you to look up oriented, angled, and electio aroace to get a better idea of ways in which this entire package of aro, ace, and sapphic might come together - you don’t have to use or adhere to these labels but they do provide handy information in case you want a better understanding for your character. Basically:

Asexual

I don’t experience sexual attraction (or if I do and I’m demi like I first thought, I sure as hell haven’t noticed it yet). I never look at someone and think “hmm, they’re so physically hot and I want to smash them specifically”. A lot of my smutty writing was heavily influenced by other people’s smut at the start because, like...I didn’t know what was supposed to be hot. I didn’t inherently know what to describe when writing sex scenes. I had to rely a lot on other people and put together what they found “hot” in terms of physical descriptions of bodies because I don’t feel that kind of draw to people. Back when I was into Supernatural, everyone always went nuts over Misha Collins’ hipbones and I was like...yeah, they’re nice aesthetically because they stick out and they’d probably be sharp and cool to touch, and I incorporated that into my writing by often focusing on Castiel’s hipbones from Dean’s perspective. But I truly didn’t understand why they were considered so attractive. I wasn’t physically drawn to any part of Misha or Castiel (apart from things like his hair and eyes, and even then it wasn’t a sexual draw) and I had to absorb what parts allosexual writers found hot and then translate that into my own writing. I claimed to have a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 16 purely so I wouldn’t look like a “freak” to the other girls in my year, and I made that claim based on my aesthetic draw to his looks and assuming that that was what sexual attraction had to be.

(Look up aesthetic attraction. It’ll blow your mind once you realise that you can be drawn to people without it being sexual in any way. This is a very good definition of it).

And it’s important to separate libido (sex drive) and attraction (the draw to specific people) because a lot of aces can have an average to high libido and even sleep with people but just...not feel sexually drawn to anyone. So in the case of your character, you have to decide whether she’s going to have no libido and/or is squicked by the concept of sex, or if she’s got a higher libido and is drawn to the concept of sex, or anything in between. Me personally? My libido and my draw to the concept of sex fluctuates - sometimes it’s as high as what you’d expect from a typical allosexual, sometimes even the vague idea makes me cringe and my engine is flat - but I’m never attracted to anyone specifically. That lack of attraction is what makes me ace, because you can also get allosexual people (non-asexuals) whose libido and relationship with sex is like this.

There’s that misconception that ace people are pure virgins who cringe at the very idea of being touched and sure, some ace people are sex-repulsed and touch-averse, but a lot of us aren’t. Some of us might enjoy sex as a bonding activity in the same way that you’d enjoy yoga or another form of exercise; it’s nice and feels good, but it’s not exactly our highest priority and we could go without it for a good while if we wanted. Some of us actively enjoy sex and initiate it often. Some of us are okay with one-night stands because we’re not attracted to anyone specifically and just want the sex. Some of us don’t want to do it with someone else but enjoy some self-love every now and then, whether as stress relief or because that’s just the kind of sex we enjoy. Some of us are okay with touching someone sexually but don’t want that touch reciprocated.

Even if you’re not planning on putting your character into a sexual situation, it’s handy to figure out her relationship to sex and touch because that can give her another dimension, such as where does she draw the line with touching? At what point does she see it as going from non-sexual to sexual? What kind of touch does she crave? Does she not want any touch at all, either because she hates it or because she’s afraid that it’ll inevitably stray into sexual touching? I crave touch because I’m a very tactile person, but when I’m touching someone who’s not a family member, I’m always uncomfortably aware of how one tiny shift in position or one slide of a hand can make things stray out of my comfort zone and send the wrong message. And I hate it when people unexpectedly draw me into contact, such as someone suddenly hugging me. That could also be a dimension of my autism, but I do feel that my asexuality plays a part because touch from a family member of mine is always different to that of anyone else.

Aromantic

And then we come to romantic attraction. I...don’t know what that is. I mean, I do know what it is in theory, but where’s the line between platonic attraction and romantic? Some of us aros might enjoy romantic-coded things like kissing, yet not feel that romantic draw to a specific person. And what makes these things romantic in the first place? Dates are just a hang-out between people where you get to know them better. Kissing can be a sexual thing, and many one-night stands or friends with benefits kiss without it being romantic. Family members cuddle. Friends compliment each other’s appearances. All of these things can potentially be reshaped to remove the romantic element, and that’s what makes it so confusing for me personally to figure out wtf romantic attraction is.

Just like with asexuality, we can range from romance-repulsed to craving a relationship that’s romantic in nature. Some of us are okay with being in a romantic relationship with a friend who’s attracted to us in that way because we want increased intimacy and don’t mind it taking on a romantic tone. Some of us freak out when a friend confesses to us. Some of us don’t really want or don’t care for a romantic relationship but want to not look like an outsider to alloromantics. Some of us do it for the tax benefits.

(But in all seriousness, the world is currently heavily skewed in favour of romance. Some places only accept your next-of-kin if they’re legally family i.e. your spouse, and just being their good friend won’t cut it. Capitalism makes it so that we basically have to live with others to survive in certain places because living alone is inaccessible. Marriage comes with certain benefits that other relationships don’t. Queerplatonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones and incorporate everything that romantic ones do yet in a deromanticised way, yet they’re not seen as valid. Look up alterous attraction to see how love and attraction can be so deep and yet something that doesn’t slot neatly into romantic or platonic. Once you start seeing all this, you just can’t stop).

I had a month-long online relationship with a girl back in 2017 and I thought I was feeling romantic attraction. I was giddy to talk to her, I had 7-hour phone calls when I normally had anxiety around phone calls, I felt good and happy when she sent me selfies...but there was something about the relationship that I couldn’t put my finger on. I thought at the time that it was just because it being online meant that I didn’t have the physical intimacy (like cuddling) and that affected it, but now I realise that I’m aro and I was trying to force myself into this idea of an ideal relationship because I didn’t know that you could be close and not be romantic partners. I still talk to her and we’re still close, but there’s so much less pressure and panic now that I’m not trying to force myself to be attracted to her in a way that I think I should be. But I’m still drawn to her in a way that I’m not drawn to men and in a way that’s not just platonic, which is why I call myself sapphic aroace. And even if I figure out whether I am drawn to men as well, it still feels...different. More on that later on in this ask. But it’s basically why I just call myself queer and why I’ve given up on trying to find the Perfect Microlabel for myself, because I never will.

So regarding your character, the first thing to do is figure out where exactly she sits on the aromantic spectrum. Is she fully aro? Does she feel romantic attraction once in a blue moon, and who does she feel it towards? How close would she have to be to someone to feel that attraction? Does she constantly question what romantic attraction is, or does she not even care what it is? Does she want a romantic relationship, or does she crave close friendship? Does she not understand where that boundary between close friendship and romance is? How would she react if a friend confessed romantic feelings to her? Is she okay with doing things like cuddling, or does she fear that it’ll be misread as romantic? How does she react when people tell her to stop flirting or otherwise imply that she is? Can she tell when others are flirting with her? What even is love at first sight? Why is romantic love so much more important than platonic or familial or any other form? Why are people so obsessed with finding The One™? Why can stories only be relatable/attractive/amazing/etc. if there’s a romantic relationship in them? Why are the ‘greatest love stories of all time’ romantic? Why can’t those greatest love stories be between friends? What do you do when you’ve got a wlw or mlm relationship and you want to offer this representation but don’t want to feel pressured to make them romantic just because of that? Why even is love itself seen as such an important thing, like we’re inhuman robots if we don’t love someone in any way? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Like I said, once you start questioning this stuff, you can’t stop. That was basically my raw thought process while I was writing that paragraph, and that last one about the wlw/mlm relationships is my current struggle with my original characters).

Sapphic

So, tying in a sapphic draw with being aroace, I once again urge you to look up oriented aroaces, along with angled and electio. I recommend starting here and here. Basically, what we feel isn’t romantic or sexual, and it might not be just platonic, but it’s something. It’s something important enough that we feel like it’s a key part of our identity because it shapes how we interact with people and it might make us feel separate enough from aroaces or aspec people that we start to question ourselves and where we belong. Going back to an aro who might crave or be okay with a romantic relationship or an ace who might be into sex, they might be an oriented aroace who wants this partnership with someone they love or wants sexual experiences with only those who would fall under her sapphic attraction umbrella. In the case of your character, how does her sapphicness interact with her aroaceness? How does her attraction to women or woman-aligned people differ from her attraction to those who aren’t included in the sapphic umbrella? (Look up non-binary sapphics, for example). Does she feel like she has to call herself sapphic/a romantic-oriented term and leave herself open to potential relationships because she doesn’t want to be alone, or does she genuinely feel that attraction? Once you add in the aroace dimensions, it changes the gay/bi/pan/etc. dimension to something that can’t just be defined as “attracted to this gender” and it’s something you have to think about to know how your character would interact with different people in different circumstances.

Good luck with your character! Don’t hesitate to ask if you need any more help 😊

#ask #aotq answers #aromantic #asexual #sapphic #aroace #oriented aroace #sexuality #cw sex mention #just to be on the safe side #aroace character #writing help #character help

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violetemerald · 7 years

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List of queerplatonic level relationships people can choose from for my two birthday collabs this year:

For my birthday I usually host either 1 or 2 fanvideo collabs. This year is the first year that I’m actually happily in a queerplatonic partnership myself while my birthday has come around. The first birthday after I figured out I was asexual I hosted family&friendships, platonic relationships, birthday collabs. Then I hosted multi-characters, then a more typical multi-couples one for romantic & sexual ships. This year, as I turn 27 years old, I’m excited to finally host two collabs where I focus on as many queerplatonic level relationships as possible.

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There are many ways to define queerplatonic, but the “queer” in the word refers not to the people in the relationship, but rather to the relationship itself - queering the norms of what non-romantic relationships can be.

Not all queerplatonic relationships are alike. My queerplatonic partner & I feel the same amount of attraction toward one another as family members or close friends might feel, which is absolutely nothing sexual or romantic. We also don’t cuddle or hold hands or touch much at all, nothing like that. We’re queerplatonic because we, by nature of both being aromantic-spectrum and asexual-spectrum, aren’t dating or looking for anyone else to fill a lot of roles in our lives, and end up as each other’s de-facto plus one’s to events. We are adults with a level of “being best friends” that most adults we know don’t have. We also have a level of commitment to one another that we’ve agreed upon, where we intend to one day build a life together that involves probably foster parenting and later adopting children, and for now includes the idea that we are officially “together”, that we might meet each other’s families and be each other’s “most significant person” in life, etc. You basically feel like family, like an old married couple where the passion is gone but the deep love and affection is still there except you never had any of the passion in the first place.

For me, when watching TV shows, it’s much harder for high school based characters to feel queerplatonic to me. To feel queerplatonic to me, really significant behaviors like living together, deciding to open a business together, using words like “Family” or “brother” rather than friend because they feel so bonded, using words like “love” despite being friends, touching each other so much that half of fandom is shipping them, or going through tragedies together can all help make their friendship feel like it is a stronger type of friendship. Queerplatonic relationships ARE friendships, in my opinion, they aren’t something different, just a different TYPE of friendship. An intense one that other people won’t understand, or might be likely to mistake as romantic.

Here is a nice article I found on queerplatonic relationships:

http://www.therivetermagazine.com/queering-the-relationship/

It explains it pretty well.

Let me know if you think I’ve forgotten a queerplatonic level pairing from a series or even just film that you know I like:

Now for all 33 of the pairings below, I want to explain why I consider them queerplatonic. A few of these I can ship romantically as well but I especially love categorizing them as queerplatonic, because queerplatonic representation FTW!

1. Cory & Shawn (Boy Meets World/Girl Meets World) - I wouldn’t have thought to include these two, but that article cites them, and I couldn’t resist. I fell so hard for Shawn Hunter and his angst filled life and related to too much of it when I watched the entire original series in record time via ABC Family reruns as a young teenager, but I also fell for the deep Cory/Shawn friendship, which was stronger than their romantic relationships ever were, and which never grew weaker as they became adults. I especially like what I’ve heard about Girl Meets World’s portrayal, even though I’ve never seen the series. I feel their friendship is respected for the queerplatonic level bond it is.

2. Sara & Oliver (Arrow & also DC’s Legends of Tomorrow) - for these two, I count them as queerplatonic because that’s the real way I ship them. I don’t actually think they are the best romantic pairing. I think the one-sided romantic attraction from Sara toward Oliver faded with time but instead these two developed a deep platonic bond over sharing experiences of going through hell on Lian-Yu (the island) and over both being vigilante superheroes later on. Sex doesn’t equal romance and this relationship feels best categorized to me as queerplatonic. They aren’t “just” typical friends for an array of reasons, but they also aren’t a simple romantic ship.

3. John & Sherlock (Sherlock, BBC) - for Sherlock/John… quite frankly, they may be THE SINLGE MOST OBVIOUS EXAMPLE of a queerplatonic life partnership to me because Sherlock actually seems completely aromantic asexual to me, at least in the same way I am aro ace - read this to get where those of us who interpret him this way are coming from: http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/70661417641/sherlock-holmes-as-an-asexual-character and John actually seems straight in my opinion, yet Sherlock is somehow the most important person to John, more so than any of the women he’s attracted to in sexual and/or romantic ways. Even if John can be argued to be bi, please don’t take ace Sherlock from me, he is so ace… XD That being said, although I don’t see it, even if Sherlock was gay, then maybe John is straight and they still have incompatible orientations yet somehow have this amazing bond and that is what… I think of when I think of queerplatonic. I actually just thought of John being homoromantic&heterosexual as a possibility, meaning he can’t fall in love with women even though that’s the only gender he’s sexually attracted to, but he can fall in a non-sexual kind of love with Sherlock… :P https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/2014/11/17/cross-orientations-among-non-aces/ So many possibile reasons why they are the way they are, but regardless, because their friendship is the most intense possible friendship possible, they count as queerplatonic.

4. House & Wilson (House M.D.) - House is obviously much more heterosexual than BBC’s Sherlock character but House & Wilson were based on the original Holmes and Watson in many ways, and their relationship with each other is one of the ways you can see that inspiration. They love each other so much. Wilson tells House in the final season that he needs him to tell him he loves him, actually using that word. They live together at times, etc etc. But it doesn’t mean they actually have any sexual attraction toward one another. (Nor romantic attraction, necessarily, albeit that is more complicated). This may be biphobic writing/queerbaiting OR it might be a reflection of a real queerplatonic kind of bond that could be possible between straight men… and I personally prefer to think of it as the latter.

5. Shawn & Gus (Psych) - there is so much that’s kinda obvious with this one. They are beyond just best friends. They are the emotional core of each other’s lives, they chose to build their lives together as (business) “partners”, and they are exactly what queerplatonic partners mean to me in many ways, because however much Shawn loved Juliet O’Hara, he always loved Gus at least equally, if not more. Gus was his chosen family for his entire life. For ages Gus was literally the only person in on a secret, other than the father who built him to have this superpower. There are touching emotional moments between them and it wouldn’t be hard to vid them in these collabs. 6. JD & Turk (Scrubs) - it’s just guy love between two (completely heterosexual) guys, right? That’s how THEIR SONG goes in the musical ep? XD There’s nothing gay about it in their eyes, and therefore… they are the epitome of queerplatonic. The beginning of this following thread actually has some people discussing JD/Turk as queerplatonic… http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/118560-list-of-queerplatonic-relationships-in-showsbookscelebrities/

7. Chandler & Joey - in a similar vein, these two were the one friendship on all of Friends that was “Weirdly close” (see the thread above on asexuality.org), that had lots of gay innuendo and stuff… basically they weren’t typical friends, they were hyper close friends who lived together, just the two of them, for pretty much the majority of a decade as adults with no other significant romances in their lives most of that time, and at the end of the series Joey still had no one but his friends and felt closest to Chandler in a very queerplatonic kind of way even if Chandler did have Monica. A deep love that was truly not romantic nor sexual.

8. Morgan & Reid (Criminal Minds) - many people ship these two, because their friendship got so close, because they touch each other a lot, etc. Their final scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST8CdeMRhEw includes actual I love yous, naming a child after the other, references to being a “brother” because of how close they feel… and tears over just the simple separation of not working together anymore. They have so many amazing moments throughout the series that I can find myself shipping them too, but mainly I prefer to ship them in a queerplatonic way, partially because I see too much of my aromantic ace tendencies in Reid: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7566307/chapters/17212351 and idk. They are not queerplatonic “partners” to me, they just have a queerplatonic level of feelings for one another. I believe Garcia/Morgan should also count as queerplatonic on this show. It’s fine for Morgan to have two queerplatonic bonds. She felt sexual attraction toward him but they both felt only platonic love. I just prefer Morgan/Reid much more than Morgan/Garcia, and the sexual innuendo in Morcia tends to make me uncomfortable as a sex-averse ace perhaps, and idk, I just don’t want Morgan/Garcia in my collab. But Morgan/Reid mean the world to me, ESPECIALLY platonically. I actually have a list with timecodes of many of Morgan & Reid’s moments in the first 7 or so seasons, if you want it.

9. Emily & JJ (Criminal Minds) - another queerplatonic bond on Criminal Minds, and it’s rare for me to find two women who I can think of as queerplatonic. I also definitely can ship them, see both women as queer enough for an actual romantic/sexual relationship between them to have potential, but as the show stands, they could certainly both be straight. That’s the narrative the show pushes. And yet their bond is particularly deep due to especially the circumstances of being each other’s only contact at times while on classified missions/undercover, and they are overly touchy even very early on. I actually have a list with timecodes of many of Emily & JJ’s moments in the first 6 or so seasons they share, if you want it. Possibly some from the new season too.

10. Mozzie & Neal (White Collar) - I actually think these two are more queerplatonic partners than Neal/Peter. Neal/Peter are the obvious heart of the show but Mozzie is not “just” a best friend. Neal is Mozzie’s entire life, so much so that when Peter becomes so important to Neal, Peter (a suit type of person Mozzie is frightened by) becomes important to Mozzie too. Neal and Mozzie are fugitives TOGETHER, basically build their lives together, and it causes MAJOR PROBLEMS for their friendship when Mozzie wants to leave New York but Neal doesn’t. Mozzie & Neal are the ultimate partners in crime, and basically seem like they could be roommates to a casual viewer of the show, even though they don’t actually live together, because Mozzie is over Neal’s apartment SO OFTEN. When Mozzie is hurt, Neal cries, and vice versa. They are adults, and Mozzie never has a significant romance that comes close to paralleling his feelings for Neal.

11. Neal & Peter (White Collar) - these two have such a deep bond that fuels the show, but I don’t see them as having romantic nor sexual feelings at all for one another. They are very close both outside and at work, to the point of Peter naming his child after Neal. They spend so much time together and their lives revolve around one another, especially Peter’s around Neal, even when they don’t see each other for long stretches of time. They both admire each other and it’s just not a typical friendship, yet it is purely platonic. Neal can have two queerplatonic relationships in his life, and he does.

12. Foss & Kyle (Kyle XY) - this relationship could barely be called a friendship, and that is why it feels queerplatonic to me. It’s kind of like they skipped straight to found family or skipped straight to platonic love. There is an age difference which adds to how atypical it is to be that devoted to one another. Kyle has close friendships with people like Declan. But with Foss, his relationship is more complicated. Tom Foss would do literally anything for Kyle and… some people do ship these two because of how intense their platonic love is. But it is just platonic, don’t try to tell me it’s anything different.

13. Nikita & Alex (Nikita) - there aren’t enough bonds like this between women on television, which is what makes this pairing so special. Despite each having some really passionate romantic entanglements, these two have such a significant place in each other’s lives, so much so that Nikita/Michael scenes often include lots of talk of Alex and stuff. They are basically self-explanatory in my mind so if you need more justification, let me know.

14. Hiro & Ando (Heroes) - this show mainly has really deep family bonds, but Hiro/Ando break that mold by being a ridiculously deep friendship bond, especially circa seasons 3 & 4. Ando is betrayed in season 3 to learn Hiro didn’t tell him about a significant emotional event in his life, and Hiro says “don’t cry because I’ll cry”, like this is 3x20… there’s so much there to unpack about how much they care for one another. Even in season 2 though, Hiro is far back in the past and hides a secret note for Ando. They are on each other’s minds whenever they are apart, they are really platonic life partners in so many ways, traveling a foreign country together, presumably living together for a long time as adults, etc.

15. Alec & Kiera (Continuum) - they are queerplatonic by nature of being in a sci-fi show’s extremely atypical premise - no other relationship ever is like theirs. The main reasons they tic queerplatonic boxes for me are a) Alec is Kiera’s ONLY confidant who knows the truth of her life other than the people who want to kill her for a while. Alec’s life starts to revolve around her in a similar way and he can’t tell anyone else in his life anything about her. b) age differences make shipping them more than skeevy, because he’s either so much older than her or so much younger than her. But having platonic relationships at any age works… C) Alec is THE PERSON who shaped Kiera’s entire future by sending her to the past and he will always be that significant mark on her life. d) Alec/Kiera have to learn to forgive each other and are at the emotional core of the entire series, share many really significant hugs and moments and basically they are maybe not queerplatonic “partners” in a typical sense, but they are in some kind of queerplatonic relationship. I’d argue that Carlos/Kiera might be queerplatonic too, but I feel more shippy things for them personally so I’m leaving them out of my collab.

16. Dr. Tom & Erica (Being Erica) - call them father/daughter ish if you want, but some people think they’re more husband/wife ish (like the commenter on my video for them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_F3MwwEqHo ), and isn’t that the epitome of what queerplatonic is, can’t tell if they seem more like family or like a romance? Tom has an unhealthily close relationship with her, since she’s just one of his patients. Erica feels a deep love for Tom. They know each other particularly intimately because of the nature of the magic on this series. They are not what people would ever just call “best friends” despite that literally being what they are to each other, because best friends has a certain connotation and they are barely even “Friends”. They are people who share a deep kind of platonic relationship, and friendship isn’t really the best word to describe it.

17. Meredith & Cristina (Grey’s Anatomy) - because “you’re my person” even after marriages and stuff. Originally “You’re my person” was about being the one person Cristina confided in about her pregnancy and abortion because she needed a significant friend/family member/romantic partner to drive her home (if that had worked out and the appointment had been needed), and that is a very typical kind of practical commitment queerplatonic partners could make in each other’s lives. Feeling not just happy for the person if they move away for a job but also heartbroken like it’s a breakup is typical of queerplatonic level friendships, too…

18. Caitlin & Cisco (The Flash) - I don’t quite know how to explain why they seem so queerplatonic to me but I really love them as an example of queerplatonic bonding. They care so much about each other, they’re like the first thing each other thinks about, they spend every waking moment together, they confide in each other first, they knew each other before the show when no one else did, they are a ying and yang kind of deal when they are Killer Frost and Vibe, they just are such a TEAM in everything in life. They are adults, so they don’t seem like they’re just super close because they’re in the same high school. It seems like a life thing where even if a romantic partner became a part of their lives, this friendship would still probably be a slightly MORE significant relationship in their life.

19. Scott & Stiles (Teen Wolf) - this one I wasn’t so sure about, but the intensity of what they’ve each been through together has made their bond stronger than any other relationship on the show, probably. They have no secrets, and Stiles literally can’t bear the thought at the beginning of season 5 or whenever it was of Scott not being his best friend for life. Stiles uses the word “brother” because friend doesn’t describe it well enough. That kind of thing.

20. Rachel & Kurt (Glee) - I’m also not so sure about this one, but Rachel ultimately being a surrogate who carries Kurt’s child seals the deal for me on this, as well as the way Kurt/Rachel both are the potentially most affected by Finn’s death (however I may be biased a bit by fanfiction and fanon version of their lives…). They are best friends in a way that seems much closer than some of the other roommates and close friends, idk.

21. Maxine & Sean (Judging Amy) - I feel a lot of things about their friendship but don’t ship them in the slightest nor think they are “just” close friends. The age difference is part of it, and the unconventional nature of how close they managed to get despite “only” being coworkers. Watch the first four clips that come up on YouTube for them to get the gist of their relationship. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=sean+maxine They might fight at times but when times get hard, they share hugs and forehead kisses and platonic physical touch and well, especially Sean toward Maxine seems very queerplatonic. She’s not even “like a mother” to him, she’s just a friend he cares for deeply, partially by nature of the TV show revolving around her life and not his, where we see no other aspect of Sean’s life at all except his feelings for her.

22. Jesse & Walter (Breaking Bad) - by nature of their criminal lives, you may notice a theme here with a few criminal partners, but I think they become each other’s whole worlds, for better or worse. It’s not romantic by any means. But it is a partnership and a deep kind of psuedo-familial love that develops.

23. Angus & Mario (Code Black) - ah I ship them in a pretty slashy way, but I’m too sex-averse and even kissing averse to really be rooting for that to actually happen. I can’t decide what I feel. They just have such an amazing friendship in such a high stakes kind of show that it makes the level of friendship feel like it shoots up to queerplatonic.

24. Emily/Aria/Hanna/Spencer (Pretty Little Liars), just the four of them, no Alison, no boys, that core group seems like queerplatonic level friendship to me because of what they’ve been through. Try to vid voiceovers about how what they’ve been through has bonded them, try to vid moments where no other characters are on screen and at least a few group moments, what I love about this is it’s not a queerplatonic duo/partnership but rather a queerplatonic level group friendship of 4. There is no “just” friends about these girls, especially given the time jump into the future in the most recent two half seasons.

25. Chloe & Clark (Smallville) - They may have been romantic for about 1 to 2 episodes, and Chloe had one-sided romance feelings for seasons 1-5, but this friendship lasted 10 seasons and even when she had romantic feelings, the relationship remained non romantic. In fact, that can be one thing I think that makes a friendship queerplatonic. The fact that one person feels “more than” friendship, romantic feelings, but the friendship is still “just” a friendship. The bond becomes more complicated and intense. Especially for a while, Chloe knowing Clark’s secret became a huge part of why they weren’t “just” friends.

26. Dwight & Michael (The Office) - basically, these two didn’t have other people they were as close to, for much of the show. Dwight might be borderline aromantic because he tends to act like friendships more important to him, desire how much he cares for Angela too. Michael loves everyone his, platonic or not, so hard. So they become, kind of by default, queerplatonic level kind of friends at first and then even after they have romantic partners it doesn’t fade. Dwight prided himself on being given a special status by Michael (in the office, but still), and they have some emotionally touching scenes.

27. Marcel & Davina (The Originals) - These two aren’t family but sort of serve that role in each other’s lives, which is basically the only reason I’m counting them as queerplatonic. They love each other in a way that is nonromantic and nonsexual and also not typical of what you’d normally see in a friendship.

28. Casey & Ashleigh (Greek) - I wasn’t sure if I should do any relationship from Greek, and if so who to do, but I think these two are nice to consider including because there aren’t enough girls who feel queerplatonic on TV but these two are super-best-friends to a degree that could be queerplatonic, mainly because they could not be any closer as friends? Like idk, especially at the end of the series, they have a lot of feelings about one another…

29. Leonard Snart & Mick Rory (The Flash & DC’s Legends of Tomorrow) - ah, Captain Cold & Heatwave, totally queerplatonic partners. Snart’s death hurts the most because that pairing can’t be broken up! What are they doing!! I mean I care about them ruining Sara/Leonard as a ship too but I care more about this friendship between Mick & Leonard. I care about how much they care about each other and how much they are always on the same team. The third “partners in crime” on this list.

30. Michael & Brian (Queer as Folk) - see what I said about Chloe/Clark, basically one-sided feelings and maybe a couple kisses in their lives but never really being anything other than friends makes their friendship atypical, queerplatonic because of all it involves. They weren’t “just” friends, they were in many ways the main rock in each other’s lives.

31. Karma & Amy (Faking It) - I never saw the final season of this show, but hopefully eventually. Basically, I heard they don’t end up together and essentially Karma never returns Amy’s feelings enough, so… while I can ship them romantically, I can also just see them as a queerplatonic relationship for the reasons described directly above in Michael/Brian (and in Clark/Chloe, and Sara/Oliver). Amy learns to suppress her sexual and romantic feelings for her friend in favor of preserving the deep friendship bond. They are atypically close as friends.

32. Arthur & Merlin (Merlin, BBC) - I’ve never seen the show but I plan to watch it eventually and already know they count as queerplatonic in my eyes. The creator said they are a love story as do the actors but the guys never kiss and a lot of people interpret it as gay but thwarted by network television, but from the fanvideo things I’ve seen… I prefer to think of them as Sherlock/John level queerplatonic.

33. Lux & Tasha (Life Unexpected) - they didn’t have anyone else growing up, no parents or family at all, so they became way more than friends and as close as sisters in some ways, and their friendship seems queerplatonic to me, despite their young age. They would risk so much for the other. They need each other in their lives.

#queerplatonic partners #in my favorite tv shows #some aren't partners #queerplatonic relationships #queerplatonic

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