#but was looking at it again and ypu know what i fuckin' love it

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Strange Things Are Atentacle

Acrylic on canvas, December 2023

#strange things are atentacle #i do take commissions btw #faye's most excellent art projects #acrylic painting #painting commission #bill and Ted and their octo-pal #art commissions #bill and ted #octopus #i realized i never made my own post of this finished commission piece from last December #i was immensely proud of it #then a friend basically told me they thought it looked bad and it really bummed me out #but was looking at it again and ypu know what i fuckin' love it #and i was super honored to have someone request it as a gift for a partner #ps look at the quality rendering of slutty 80's midriff

[spitinsideme]

*falls through the ceiling*

YOU

*pointing at u pointing at u pointing at u*

you.... you!!!!! I have something to say to you!!! you beautiful lesbian that draws good!!!!! I've got somethin to say!!!!!

you have drawn not one!!! but two!!! of the sweetest gosh darn scenes of pomni and ragatha that I have ever seen!!!! and I have something to say about that!!!! here it comes!!! watch out!!!!!

*deep breath explodes deep breath explodes deep breath*

SPITINSIDE ME YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN woooOoaaaaAaaAAAARRRRGGGGH

*falls through the same ceiling again*

*your art has caused me to break continuity itself*

I'm talking about!!!! number one!!! ragatha giving pomni a forehead kiss!!! the expressions and absolute love they share in those four panels are on point!!!!

and!!! number TWO!!!! pomni!!! comforting ragatha!!!!! its so AGKGKHLGKHGHKGLHL. ITS SO GOOD. ITS SO HECKIN GOOD. I LOVE IT. THE TENDERNESS. BEING THERE FOR SOMEONE EVEN WHEN YOU DONT KNOW HOW. THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT!!!!!!! HA HA!!!!!!

another piece you made which I also fucking love that I *have* to mention: maid au with pomni comforting ragatha after a long day!!! that piece makes me go!!! insane!!!! infinite power!!!!!! WAHHHHH

*fallls through the ceiling again*

ahem. anyways. yep. I just wanted to say you're fuckin amazing and you have succeeded in killing me over and over with your art. and I have never been happier to be slain by these two adorable lesbians. you're super cool. hope you're doing well!! peacee

DETAIA !!!!OHMUGOD !!!! HI !!!! HI DETAIA !!!! SCREAMING AND SHAKING AND JUMLING UP AND DOWN IN JOY !!! I AM SOGLAD YOU LIKE THE DRAWINGS YOU GET IT !!I READ YOUR TAGS ON THE COMFORTING RAGATHA ONE AND YESS !! YOUBGET IT !!! THE TENDERNESS THE FEELING THE ROMANCE THE VULNERABILITY OF TRYING, OF TRYONG TO HELP SOMEONE DEPITE KNLWING YOU DIND IT DIFFICULT, THE LOVE YOU HAVE TO HAVE FOR AOMEONE TO LET THEM TOUCH YOU WHEN YOU ARE NOT UAED TO IT, BIT KNLWING ITLL HELP THEM !!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND IT !!!! THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOIT ITS ALL ABOIT TRYONG ITS ALL ABOIT DOING YOUR BEST EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO BECAUSE YPU LOVE THEM AND YOU PUT THEM BEFORE YOU IN SITUATIONS WHERE THEY NEED YOU !!!

detaia i think i tell you this every single time you send me an ask, but i love and i look flrward to your tags every single time, i literally make art and i go god, i hope detaia will like this one and write a poem in the tags becaus of how much they love it and the feelings and everyrhinf, i think that the best thing that has comw out of me making art od two silly hirla who got like 2hat ? 5 ninites together ? is that you enjly it so much tp weite so many tags of it. i litwrally lpve when anyone wrotwa anything abour my art when they reblog it, but i especially love your tags under ir and your thoights and feelings of it. thwyre great, i apprwxiate then very much and you are the best

i will continue to make art, and you seem to like the comforting ones and the softer ones mkre so i will draw th3m more soft and wholsome and just in love ... thank you for rveryrhing ❤️❤️❤️

#detaia is actuallybmy favrliore person ever actually #i jave never met them or talked to them but i am so #tbey make me so happy #like okay !!!! i will make art for you !!!

[fartquen12]

TRAVIS HACKETT X FEM!READER

NOVEL AI HELPED ME WRIT ETHIS ONE DADDIES.... sorry its been a while...

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SMUT kind of..., POOP, MINI KYLES ARE NOT ALLOWED.

You were driving to hacketts quarry when a cop started following you and screamed at you to pull over.

you pulled over and the cop came up to your windo. he had almost no hair and it was black hair on his head his brown eyes were fuckin dark... he looked scary but sexay.

he said "i am a police officer"

you replied "fuck off"

he then grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back and pushed you out of the car and onto your knees.

he turned around and spread his ass cheeks showing his asshole to you.

he slowly walked towards you, bent over, and lifted up his legs.

he was wearing white athletic shorts with a big hole in them where his ass stuck out.

"POCKY!" you screamed shoving your finger up his butthole.

he cried out grabbing your wrists and twisting them behind your back while he pulled down your pants and panties so that your ass was exposed too.

then he put his hands on both sides of your face and tilted it backwards while pushing down hard into your throat making you gag and throw up all over him.

"OH FUCKIN NASTAY!" he yelled pulling your pants back up and smacking yer head with his hand.

He took his belt off and slapped you across your face with it several times and then held it in front of your face and asked you if you wanted to go to jail for resisting arrest?

"YES SIR I DO!" you yelled fliiping off the direction of hacketts quarry.

"THATS RIGHT! YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?! THEN COME HERE AND GET TASCHED WITH THIS COUNTDOWN." he said slapping the belt against his cock and balls and rubbing them all over your face.

"EW!" you yelled

*fart*

"BRO U FARTED!" ypu yelled

"I WAS JUST TELLING THE LIEBERAL BITCH ABOUT HOW I AM NOT A REAL COP BUT WHATS YOUR PROBLEM? IN MY OPINION ITS TIME WE GOT SOME REAL ACTION STARTED OUT ON THE ROAD! SO IF YOU ARE DOWN FOR IT BRO THEN LET ME KNOW!"

*squeak*

"MY ASSHOLE IS UPON UR FACE NOW SO THAT MEANS IM IN CHARGE OF THE DICTATE FROM THIS POINT ON!" he said slapping you across the face again.

you were so scared your legs felt weak and you fell to the ground.

"GET UP YET ANOTHER LITTLE HUMAN IS ABOUT TO JOIN US!" he said taking his hand away from your mouth and slapping you across the face with his other hand.

you got up and felt a sudden rush of energy coursing through your body as you stood up.

then he pulled a white wolf out of his car that was deadly trying to bite him..

"SILAS BE FREE! AND BITE Y/N!" he yelled and y/n ran toward the car and jumped in the back seat.

"SILAS! STOP! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!" y/n yelled looking at silas who was trying to devour her.

"NO! NO! SILAS! I LOVE YOU!" y/n yelled jumping up on top of silas and holding on tightly to his fur.

"Y/N WAIT! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME!" he yelled jumping out of the window and running after y/n and falling on his ass.

you saw him getting up and you ran towards him.

"HURRY UP! CALL 911!" he said picking up his phone and calling the police.

you picked up the cell and called 911.

the operator answered and y/n began talking to her.

"Y/N WHATS HAPPENING?" y/n asked crying.

"THE POLICE ARE COMING! THEY ARE TRYING TO HELP ME!" y/n cried.

"IS SILAS OK?!" y/n asked

"OH FUCK BABY ETS FUCK!" yelled chris hackett who came running out of the woods

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" he yelled grabbing the cop who was still choking y/n.

"HE CHOKED HER! BUT SHE'S OK NOW!" y/n cried

"YOU HAVE THE MOST HORRIBLE ATTACK OF STUPIDITY EVER!"

"LETS FUK DADY!" y/n said to chris hackett who just stared at her.

"DADDY!" you yelled seeing that y/n had gone insane.

chris hackett looked at you then y/n and then the cop.

all three of them started making out with eachother.

you couldn't believe what you were seeing.

"ITS LIKE I WENT TO COLLEGE OR SOMETHING!" y/n said

you heard a car honking outside.

you farted as you ran off to the woods

Guess hacketts quarry was the way to go after all

THANKS NOVEL AI FOR WRITING ME THIS PEICE OF ART

#the quarry #travis hackett #travis hackett x reader #chris hackett #chris hackett x reader #the quarry x fem reader

[dior-and-dietcoke]

" FOREVER AND EVER MINE "

YANDERE!SANZU + BIMBO!READER

18+, cheating (?), yandere themes, mentions of violence, sanzu's a virgin, heavy breeding kink, panty sniffing, masturbation (m), cumming untouched, all characters are over 18, readers skin color not mentioned

Sanzu adores you, he loves every single part of you. Every Mark, scar, stretch mark, etc.

But he despises your boyfriend, he would fucking kill that motherfucker if he could, but everyone would know that he did it since he doesn't shut up about you being together with a dude who doesn't even pay attention to you.

You are perfect to him..so pure and innocent..So naive to think that sanzu is a good man, The truth is he is far from that.

He would do anything to make you his even if he had to hurt you in the process. You have to understand!

He does this to protect you, at least that's what he believes. He wants you to break up with him as soon as possible, sanzu knows you trust him more than your useless boyfriend.

you knew him since you were kids, and he loved you for such a long, long time but as he became older he finally decided he should pursue the dream of having a family with you.

He is only twenty years old but he would start a family in a heartbeat with you.

He fantasizes about you day in and day out while fucking his fist to the thought of you finally letting him stuff you with his cock. Fill you up to the brim with his cum till your cunt is too full to hold all of it inside and is squirting out of your pussy.

That sanzu is obsessed with you would be an understatement, he would quite literally die if you would leave his life. So. Back to his plans about making you break up with your boyfriend, he came to your house was currently in your room with you after he told you on the phone he had to tell you something important.

"What did you wanna tell me? Did something happen to you?!" You were always so worried about him getting hurt in fights. Sanzu then shook his head "no, no..nothing happened to me."

He placed his hand on top of yours and sighs deeply "it's about something I saw today..about your boyfriend.." You looked even more worried "d-did something happen to him? T-tell me!" Seeing you be more worried about this piece of shit boyfriend hurt him deeply.

"I saw him leave the house of another woman..and he Uhm..kissed her." His heart dropped at the same time as your face. Tears were blurring your vision as you felt your heart sting in a way you never felt before, you believed him..of course you did!

he was always there for you, he was your angel haru. he would never lie to you His eyes widened when you suddenly hugged him and sobbed into his chest, he couldn't help but get hard at how near you were to him, was he ashamed? Embaressed? No. He should be, and he knows it but he just isn't.

He caressed your back then made you look up with his other hand placed on your cheek "darling..you didn't deserve this. And he certainly doesn't deserve you, I mean look at you! You're too fuckin' perfect for him" you sniffled a bit and smiled

"haru.." Your voice sounded so soft, so filled with love. Your dumb little head thought of him as a protector, and that is exactly what he wanted.

You were easy to pursue, but sanzu would beat men nearly to death if they dared to call you 'easy'

Your heart pounded hard against your rib cage as haru held you closer to him. You, not knowing better, were now falling for the white haired male because he showed you that he will protect you once again.

He always protected you, even in kindergarten. If boys would pick on you he would fight them. And that hasn't changed when you were in the same school. He always protected you..you were truly easy to pursue.

You are a dummy, a bimbo if you will.

But sanzu loved you for that!

he held your smaller figure in his arms, while you thought this was a sweet little moment between ypu two, he was just extremely turned on.

So when you pushed your soft glossy lips on his scarred ones and suddenly pushed your tongue between his lips and invading his warm mouth when he gasped at the sudden contact of your lips on his. your tongue felt so heavenly he thought he would cum in his pants at the feeling of your wet tongues gliding against one another.

Your long pink acrylic nails grabbed at his toman uniform while his shaking clammy hands grabbed frantically at your beautiful waist, he pulled away from the sweet kiss

"l-let me-..let me show you how much i love you- i love you more than he ever could..will you let me show you?"

Sanzu babbled, drunk on the kiss you two just shared. You nodded feeling so happy at the attention your darling sanzu was giving you. His hand pushed you onto the bed lightly while he sat in between your legs staring at the wet patch on your panty thong almost like he was looking at god herself.

an audible groan left his lips at the fact of you were getting this wet just from kissing him. "Cute.." sanzu praised sliding his finger along your clothed slit

"mhh~ haru!" He bit his lip hard to not groan at you just moaning his name. He was so fucking weak..sanzu got on his knees in front of the bed pulling you further to the edge with him

"w-wha—" "shhh" he cut you off and just shoved his face into your covered pussy "AHH!~ h-h-haruu! What are you doing? Ahh~" You moaned at the feeling of his tongue sliding along your clothed slit and nose pressed against your clit.

sanzu inhaled deeply and let his eyes roll back, your scent is so fucking sexy. It's not like he never smelled your panties before. Of course, he did, he also stole one or two..or maybe three..

because he knew you wouldn't notice. he always held it up to his nose inhaling your intoxicating scent, as he lay on his bed stroking his throbbing cock and moaning your name. Thank god he lived alone, cause otherwise, his siblings could hear his desperate whines of your name as he painted his abs with spurts of his own sticky cum.

His cock was twitching uncontrollably, this was so much better than stealing your panties, the smell was so much stronger "haru, haru! D-don't tease me, please, pleasee~"

sanzu started to buck his hips into nothing as he took out his pocket knife to cut your panties off of you, he's too impatient to take them off..and you won't need 'em once you're married to him, youll be a good wife and let him fuck you whenever.

The cold air and his breath hit your bare, wet pussy. Sanzu sighed staring at your pussy before he proceeded to spread your lips with his fingers

"oh my..fucking god.." He mumbled barely audible before he dove his tongue into your soaking heat like a starved man "AAAH!! H-HARUU!" his big hands grabbed both your ass cheeks to pull them apart. "Moan louder for me, angel" he whispered in between fucking his tongue into your tight hole.

"Y-yes haru! Any—AHH..anything for my h-haruu~" you mewled loudly.

Fuck.. he was scared he might cum untouched at just your taste, sanzu started to tremble a bit as he rolled his eyes slightly back. His uniform jeans were straining against his cock, it was so unbearably painful.

His hand came up from your ass, and he fucked two fingers inside your pulsing cunt as his tongue flicked your sensitive clit. You were close..really close. Sanzu was amazing at this, almost too amazing "haru!! I-i'm gonna!" His eyes shot open when your hands took a fistful of his white long strands and your hips began to push his face deeper into your pussy.

His hands were now gripping the sheets as he felt his cock throb even more than before, he thought he would cum before you did.

as he was bucking his hips faster into nothing, cock still in his pants. But you came on his face first..you squirted..you..you actually squirted on his face.

That's it.

That was the last straw to make him cream his pants without you even touching him. He looked at your pussy still oozing your juices and panted heavily, still coming down from his unsatisfying high

"haru— did i- did i hurt you?"  But when you sat up and looked down at him he was sucking his fingers clean desperately with his eyes closed, and when your eyes wandered further down, you saw a wet Spot on his hip.

At first, your clouded head was confused but then you realized that his cock was just really big and that wet spot was the result of him spilling into his pants. Then sanzu stood up crawling in between your legs and taking your hand

"baby.." he spoke up softly while guiding your hand to his still Rock hard cock "do you feel it? Do you feel how much i love you?" Sanzu suddenly twitched in your hand, and you looked up at him

"y-yes..haru..i love you too!" Sanzu's eyes shot wide open and took that as a sign to let him do whatever he wants with you.

So he pushed you back down on your back while he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down along with his boxers. He was really fuckin' big..his cock looked perfect, it was thick and long with two veins lining his shaft.

His head was a pretty flushed pink, with a little bit of cum still dripping from itHe didn't hesitate to push the head inside and before you could even mewl he pushed all of his 8 inches, molding your tight walls to his cock. Sanzu couldn't move just yet because if he did he would cum immediately again.

"Ha-haaarh..uhh—" you wanted to say his Name but you felt too dizzy to form any words right now. "Ya never had one this big hm?" He smirked down at you "don't worry baby, i will get that pussy used to me.." he suddenly thrusted hard

"m' gonna stretch it out uhh~" he moaned then thrust again "so it'll fit me perfectly baby~" your hand pushed his abdomen to make him slow down when he picked up the pace

"haru, haru, haru! S-slow down!!"  You whined tears starting to roll down your already tear-stained cheeks, sanzu grabbed both your hands to pin them down next to your head, then intertwining your fingers "n-no..i c-can't slow down, angel..i gotta—ahhh..i gotta fill ya up"

your pussy clenched at him saying this, forcing sanzu to throw his head back "fuck- don't do that, baby..wanna make you cum first" you bit your lip. the pain now turning into unbearable pleasure, his cock Made you so need to cum that you started to wail out his Name and almost throw a tantrum

"harder!!" Drool Was dripping out of your mouth as you screamed "messy baby" he leaned down and wiped the drool from your mouth "fuckin' pretty angel~" he cooed before slamming his lips onto yours, the kiss wasn't as sweet as before though.

The kiss was just needy and sloppy, teeth clashing and tongues slipping out sometimes. It was so erotic, the wet skin slapping sounds of your hips meeting each other, his cock sloshing in and out of your pussy.

You broke the kiss as you held his face in your hands "g-gonna cum haru~ gonna- gonna—!" Once you clenched hard down on him, the spasm of your walls triggered his own orgasm.

The hot sticky Fluid fills you up to the deepest parts of your pussy. "Ohh f-fuck!" Sanzus eyes rolled back as yours did the same, you were both riding out your highs your angel haru then pecked your lips softly before he smiled at you, you could see the love and adoration in his eyes..it made you smile back the same way

"I love you haru" you mumbled breathlessly you felt his dick twitch in you once again, he was hard again. He kissed your forehead softly "i love you too.." sanzu then sat back up and pushed your thighs to your chest "i love you so much, i want you to bear my Kids. I want you to be with me forever..and ever"

#jojo writes #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev smut #tokyo revengers #tr smut #tokyo rev #sanzu smut #sanzu haruchiyo smut #toman #toman smut #bonten #bonten smut #bimbo!reader #cw yandere #yandere!sanzu #cw violence #cw cheating

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ram Sweeney x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Dating HC's

Notes:

*Sigh*... I write regularly write for creeps like Freddy Krueger and Offenderman... and am one of the few tumblrs that write for Sheriff Hoyt romantically... and yet Kurt and Ram are my real guilty pleasure characters.

Anyway I hope someone other then me wanted this XDD I'm gonna do a Kurt one too.

Warnings: Some NSFW but not explicit.

Your song: The Way I Loved You (Taylor Swift)

He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother, talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

You two as a TV/Movie/Book couple: Bianca Piper and Wesley Rush (The DUFF)

Having the kind of relationship that no one else understands at all. Like, you have nothing in commen except commen history and your feelings for each other (Which are, on the other hand, totally clear to everyone) but when you're together you're always laughing and being affectionate.

Being in an on and off relationship throughout middle school and highschool- but never and I repeat; Never, is anyone permitted to mess with you at all. Because Ram always considers you his, even when you arent together.

So yeah, you always have 2 (Ram, and Kurt) large football star bodyguards at your disposal.

Being very playful together.

SOOOOoooooo much PDA. Including: Making out in the hallways and at school events like football games (You dont care who sees), sitting in his lap or at least squished close to his side at lunch, him throwing you over his shoulder to carry you places, him giving you piggy back rides, him picking you up and twirling you around, him just standing behind you with his arms around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder when he's bored (With everything but you), his arm being over your shoulders as you walk together, you wiping peanut butter on his nose to get a rise out of him and then running away so he'll chase you, you peppering his face with kisses to make him laugh, etc.

Having a turbulent relationship. Because while, when all is well you two are like peanut butter and jelly and seem like the perfect highschool sweethearts, when you arent it's because Ram has gotten really jealous over something and called you a terrible name (Skank, whore, slut, bitch- any of those) or you understandably got irritated by his bullying and/or being a perverted, sexist asshole and you have huge, blow out fights in the middle of school and by the end of the period the whole student body knows about it.

You give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder after those (If you didnt break up, that is) and he sends Kurt to give you messages.

When you make up its because he sincerely apologises although he doesn't 100% understand what he did wrong which becomes part of the next fight.

As you've been together so very long, he is basically part of your fucking family. He's so familiar and casual with your parent/s and/or sibling/s. They love him so much that, whether you're with him at the time or not, they allow him into the house and your bedroom with a cup of tea and snacks. (Its the 'American dream' popular-boy / football-star thing.)

So yeah, sometimes when you're mad at him or he wants to get back together (Which generally you want to do, to. You honestly have the same biological timer. Its like, 3 weeks pass by of being broken up and then ding ding ding! You both get the feelings its time to get back together and start sharing grins in the hallway and talking to your friends about eachother) you'll just find him waiting for you in your room when you come home.

Hanging out a looooooot with Kurt. Movie nights at your place, hanging out at the mall together on weekends sneaking out to see them at the football field at night time, etc. When you're sad, they'll both turn up wherever you are to cheer you up, too! Goofballs.

This does not mean there arent times where Ram shoo's Kurt off, though, when you two want some alone time together (*Eyebrow wiggles*) because of course. I'm just saying, you're a close-knit group.

When you are alone together, not much changes from when you're around others honestly XD You're still just as playful and affectionate. You just, you know, also have sex.

When he's down, you rusk your graceful image and climb through his bedroom window to be there with him. You dont fuck, you dont even really kiss. You just climb into bed with him and he'll tuck you under his chin and close his eyes. Legit old married couple. And you two sleep- by morning, he usually feels better and refuses to let you get out of bed with him.

"Five more minutessssss, babe!" He whines, holding you against him and pressing kisses to your head. You know he'll just say that again in 5 minutes time- and over, and over, and over again.

"Oh- no. I've been caught in this trap before Ram. We have school, so we have to get up. Come on!" You push firmly at his stomach (or abs) with your fists; not that that does much as he just just groans or gathers your little wrists in one big fist to stop you (Either way he certainly doesn't even flinch). His eyes are still closed. You sigh.

Now you have two choices, you can either give in and snuggle back into him for the rest of the morning, or threaten to send an attack towards his groin and he'll literally fling himself outta bed. Like "OH LOOK AT THE TIME- Kurt's gonna be waiting for us outside. Lets go!"

There are also mornings that you wake up with him (No sad Ram the night before necessary) and are all too happy to stay there with him. You just adorably nod into his chest, eyes still closed and making the cutest half-asleep morning sound when he asks if you wanna stay here a bit longer and he happily pulls the blanket over both your heads; shielding you both from the real world for a while.

OKAY MOVING ON FROM THAT FLUFFINESS.

You are also the only person who has any sort of control over him and Kurt. Like you can take them down a few pegs with just a look.

You two do date other people when you're broken up but its clear to anyone watching that these are just nice place holders for eachother. Neither of you are ever as happy with others as you are with eachother. You're ridiculously in love, actually.

Ypu were the first one to say I Love You, and he immediately called Kurt for guidance XD

Places you've had sex (Because it is always the full monty with Ram): Both your bedrooms so so so many times, the school bathrooms, his car, Kurts car (Kurt was NOT pleased.), the back of the football field, under the bleachers during a game or pep rally (he was benched for being too violent) + under the bleachers during practise + under the bleachers when the football field is deserted, the back of the school, the faculty parking lot at school, Kurts and Heather Chandler's houses (Parties. Basically a Westerburg High party is not complete without Y/N L/N and Ram Sweeney breaking in someones bed), his parent's car, the woods, cow pasture (a picnic blanket was used), and finally some mall changing rooms.

You leave him messages on his answering machine. He listens to every one of them (Which means something because he doesnt listen to anyone elses, unless he's gotta get through them to get to yours).

Him being SUCH a jealous asshole (With everyone except Kurt).

HIM STANDING UP TO THE HEATHERS FOR YOU.

#PromKingAndQueen

Having Kurt "Smartest guy on the football team," Kelly be your (Occasionally, live in- yes, he has slept over with the two of you on the floor so he could break up fights) couples councellor. Often his advice is 'fuck it out' but he also comes up with oddly wise shit sometimes. Mostly he's just very exasperated though. Like, its obvious you two are gonna end up together- stop bothering me with this shit. Let me get some pussy for myself guys please-

You two getting a bit frisky on movie nights with Kurt and he throws stuff at you. He just starts bringing a pool noodle (That he drew an angry face onto) along with him and hitting y'all with it whenever he feels its necessary. Cuz I mean, on one hand, of course he's happy for his bro Ram that he's getting his dick wet, but on the other- ITS FUCKIN MOVIE NIGHT, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER FOR T W O S E C O N D S (Oh the irony- it does indeed escape him). He'll park his ass right in the middle of you two if you keep it up.

If he had survived, you and Ram would have broken up after graduation and spent college apart, before bumping into each other again back home as new (Improved. Especially him) people that fit together better now and ended up getting back together for good.

#Ram Sweeney x Reader Headcanons #Ram Sweeney #Ram Sweeney x Reader #Heathers #Kurt and Ram #Kurt Kelly #Headcanons #Heathers Headcanons #Heathers x Reader

[wearesungreenmylove]

pt. 1

Simon: What age? High school or college?

Simon: By me saying the WiFi is proper shite I really mean that it's got a password and I was too awkward earlier to ask for it

Luna: HEY! YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT AND VANISH!!

Luna: I've got no idea what to do with this and you are clearly more emotionally invested

Simon: You could have serenaded him with cherry blossoms *so romantic*

Simon: *Google searches how to sign "please go on a date with Luna"*

Simon: Just keep writing just keep writing what do you do you write write write

While I creepily read along

Luna: To answer your question, yes, your book does have the typo

Simon: My toes are cold

Simon: I'm home. Just checking in with all the gays took a while

Simon: I just searched pain on Tumblr and it was like "are you okay" and then some lifeline, right? LIKE, NOOO!!! I WAS LOOKING FOR MY FIC

Luna: I don't know why I thought this was a good idea shisheiene

Luna: Quick, what's the gayest gay bar name you can think of, gay person?

Luna: How is a gay bar better than a frat party, Simon?

{i have discovered that they asked me to watch the shannara chronicles, which is on netflix, if anyone wants to join me in that}

Simon: You do have an insanely ginormous crush on him

Luna: And at the same time I thought "the fuck why is this a ship"

Luna: *hisssss* NO STANLON. STENBROUGH FOR LIFE.

Simon: more like stenbro

Simon: I have 11 children

Luna: There are grim reapers walking around the track. Should I be concerned? XD

Now there's a horde coming towards me imma back away slowly

They're planting graves now Rest In Peace

{it's at this point that i have accidentally pressed the back button, returning me to the bottom, so i'm now taking several minutes to find where i was again}

Luna: Okay, so are we. We had struggles with a show and went out later than expected.

Simon: You should make a kylodaddy sideblog

Simon: You know in Mulan when the mom is like "would you like to stay for dinner" and then the grandma's like "would you like to stay FOREVER". yeah, i am the grandma

Luna: She just said "nobody wants to see your butthole, Grant. We can barely stand looking at your face!"

Luna: Ha! No, not only would it ruin my moody "I hate everything" reputation I've gathered in this class, I would be murdered

Luna: Have fun at your gay thing XD

Simon: Last year I could almost perfectly copy Ashley's handwriting

Simon: And Mr. Schroeder?

Simon: At least you could partially blame that one on me

Luna: HE BUMPED ME

Simon: YOU COULD FALL IN LOVE OVER EMAIL

Luna: You're way too excited honestly I feel like you're gonna expect like fucking Keiynan Lonsdale-like perfection and then just get Caleb

Simon: Is it the kylodaddy club group chat? *wiggles eyebrows*

Simon: I will cancel his plans

Simon: don't judge me

Simon: I DON'T KNOW HIM SO IM ALLOWED TO BREAK THEM UP RIGHT

Luna: YESSSSS MY CHILD YOU HAVE TAKEN MY NAME FOR YOU I AM IN TEARS OF JOY

Simon: Ohkay, so we've got some nice middle age lesbians. Finally some representation

Simon: Could be a link to CACTUS PORN

Or that BIG LONG JUICY TOE

Simon: Also, *BONER NOISE*

Luna: h e c k y e a h

Luna: I'M PUTTING TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS BUT WHATEVER

Luna: Like I feel like maybe he would swish them around a lot absentmindedly

Simon: Yes, by like 3 inches

Luna: She's pretty tough for a crazy half-psychic

Luna: EW why no you've ruined him for me

Luna: Is this how you flirt

Simon: ...you literally sent it three minutes ago

Simon: WINKY FACE MEANS FLIRTING TRUST ME

Simon: HELLO I'M HERE, I'M QUEER, AND WOULD YOU PLEASE LIKE TO GO OUT WITH ME

Luna: I feel like you're over-invested in my love life

Simon: I thought you already knew that I give bad romance advice

Simon: Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I know how I did it

Luna: aCK WHY NO THAT'S SO FORWARD

Simon: I just Google searched how to casually ask a guy out, so I hope you're happy

Luna: I kinda want to channel my inner Eddie Kaspbrak but I'm nervous

Luna: YPU AND MY BROTHER HAVE THE SAME GAY MIND

Simon: I will come caress your legs

Luna: Y'know what, you're the only person I'd let take a bunch of pictures of me, so

Luna: Although we should 110% have a photo shoot in downtown [insert the place we live] sometime with you and me

Simon: Fuck, I just realized I have a math quiz today

Simon: Spoil me up Luna

Luna: How much fanfiction DO you read, Si? It's all you're ever doing

Simon: Probably more than is healthy, but I have no regrets!!!

until I'm failing all my classes

oops

Simon: Hey, this time it really is a link to porn

Simon: Just text him saying that masturbation is not the answer

Luna: SIMON I'm gonna be kidnapped help

Luna: Caleb says happy birthday back

Luna: AND HE DROPPED THE FUCK WORD

Simon: Mac and Cheesie

We will not rest easy

Simon: Don't you have a lesbian aunt?

Luna: So there's ice cream truck music but it keeps fading in and out and I can't tell what direction it's coming from and all I can think is Pennywise??

Simon: 'drive yourself you crusty dick sock'

Simon: considering that we did the would you date me thing neither do i

Luna: Jesus, someone's getting frisky

Simon: FUCKIN YEEHAW

Luna: *praying in Italian*

Simon: we can both get boners together *winks*

Luna: Jesus your boner made me jump

Simon: Luna is in fact just a torso head and arms

Simon: oh hey it worked

i was just spelling diamond wrong

Luna: *sigh*

Luna: Me: *almost falls asleep on couch*

Also Me ; *lays down in bed* tHiS iS nO tImE fOr SlEePiNg!

#this is in chronological order btw #luna #funny text messages

[clinically-weird]

I'm done trying to friend me co-worker (rant)

Yeaah yeah, but this is just a rant because my co-worker is an asshole. Shes a minor and litterally the fucking rudest person i've probably had to deal with. Like, no, not even the asshole who fucking yells their phone number at me, or the coupon bitch. No, not even the people who told me to kill myself when i was an admin for a game server.

But, Clinically! How can this person be worst than people who told you to kill yourself?

I'm glad you asked you innocent minded reader!! Okay, so, the people who told me to kms on that game server dont actually fucking know me, this co-worker has known me for about... maybe 2 months, maybe we saw each other about.. 4 days a week, less than 8 hours a day? And this is a person i joked around with and lightly teased.

Well, recently, about a month ago, i managed to get the closing shifts, pretty fuckin cool for a new person. Well, closers have to clean the store and prepare the front end registers for the next day. Well, one day i was so swamped with customers that I couldn't get away from my register to do the many things I need to do.

So as a slightly panicking person who has only 10 minutes to do other tasks before my co-worker leaves for the day and leaves me alone for the rest of the night. So, I turn around and call to her and ask for her to please clean the other registers, atleast, the ones people forgot to clean before they left, since, she didnt have any customers in her line. (Im the express lane, people will line up in my line just to be speedy checked out)

I, shit you not, this bitch pulled out her paper towels and spray and began cleaning her own register and smiled at me, in that way you know that they will do what you ask them too. Like, a shit eating grin.

This isnt the only thing she did, she repeatedly gets off her register going to the restroom EVERY FUCKING HOUR. Let me say that again, EVERY. FUCKING. HOUR. Now ypu might be like,

Clinically, what if she just has a small bladder?

NO, this child goes for like 3 hours with out going to the restroom until its almost time for her to go home. Now this wouldnt bother me normally, but she litterally had gone to the bathroom about 40 minutes before she was like "hey, I'm going to the restroom." And I looked at the time, it was 8:38, and i asked her, if she would wait until 8:50, the time she gets to close her line down to go to the restroom or/and clean her restroom.

She fucking smiled and said "no." That same shit eating grin. 😒😒😒

Now, I just, I'm at the point of giving up with her, so today, she confides in me and a co-worker how she feels uncomfortable about how much a co-worker keeps texting her. Now im like, 'i still wanna try being friends with her' so i ask if she wants me to say something for her. Im concerned for her, trying to be a good fucking friend.

Dont worry im nearing the end of this rant.

SO, working at a grocery store, you get alot of different people coming in, and i mean cute girls and cute guys. And i just saw this cute girl with teal hair come in, round frames, and an adorable dress, on the soft beautiful chubby side. I was amazed that this cute girl came into our store. So i walked over to my co-worker and was like, "Sometimes i love my job because of all the cute girls that come in."

And my co-worker looked grossed out and confused, and asked "What?" And i just looked at her, -side note, im very open about my sexuality, i wear bi-pride ribbons every now and again.- i'm just like, "you know i'm bi right?" And she fucking said, "eww." And i just stare at her like 'wtf ????'

Okay this is getting long

So, long story short, this bitch doesnt fucking trust me, so much fucking so she will not sit anywhere near me and believes that i will try to follow her home and get her fucking address. Litterally she called me a damn stalker. And im just like "???? You know that I dont care about where you live right?"

Like? Wtf? Maybe im over reacting but im pisseddddd.

#rant #rant about co-worker #co worker rant #pissed off #im fuckinng offended #clinically rants #sorry for long post #im just so angry #im just so annoyed #like who the fuck does this shit #maybe im overreacting #plz read #tell me if i'm wrong #homophobia #homophobic #i guess she is #i dunno you tell me #bi