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eydi-andrius · 10 months

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Clear Lilac Eyes (Aemond Targaryen x Reader)

summary: Aemond had bowed and prayed, something he had never done before no matter how hard his life had been.

cw/tw: fluff, a bit of angst and hurt, aemond is a good husband, a dad and a king, childbirth, blood, implied war, patriarchy, threats, mentions of violence, threats and tags are not exhausted. Let me know if I miss anything

a/n: Wrote this as an alternate ending for Don't Get Sad, Get Even but I thought it was too positive so I wrote it as a standalone.

Also, I posted this as a celebration as my blog turned THREE (3) today! YAY! 🎉🥳 Mannnnn, I used to be a lurker on this app then I started craving for my whatifs then wrote them. To celebrate, I will post for all the characters I have written so far and it includes this one. And maybe I have something in store for the others. 👀 A much awaited comeback hehehehehe if you have any request, you may send me an ask! 🥰 I may write them. 👀 Anyway, without further ado, ENJOY!

Likes and reblogs are welcome!

💚

There was an air of uneasiness that chokes out the life of those who breathe it in. The flicker of fire from the torches and the quiet of the hallways made an eerie atmosphere in the Red Keep.

The shadows, the footfalls and the swish of clothings intensifies the feeling of distress in every mortal present at the birth of the King's child.

This was an important event for the realm as this child may become the first heir to this new era of dragons.

All the dragon-blood and silver-haired were almost wiped during the dance of dragons which happened for only a year.

Except for one.

With his wit and strategy, Aemond Targaryen was able to win the war and was crowned king.

He was vicious and no one could deny him of his throne. Once the swords were down and the white flags were raised, all heads bowed to him.

However, right now, the King's head was bowed to only one, the Mother. The Goddess of Birth.

While the realm was weary for his heir, he was scared to lose the love of his life.

She had always expressed her fear of giving birth. When they were young, she had said to him that if she had a choice, she would rather not give birth. During that time, he thought it was silly. No one can run from their purpose. Especially her, whose sole purpose was to continue her family's lineage. She was a noble and a girl. There was no way for her to continue life without giving birth.

Another blood curdling scream broke from her inside the room. It was loud. Terrifyingly loud. His gut twisted in fear. He had promised her not to enter the chambers while she gives birth but something was egging him on to force his way inside and to stay by her side.

The room was filled with the familiar sweet metallic scent of blood. He had grown accustomed to it on the battlefield and never once the sight repulsed him. However, the white sheets and the white clothes worn by the maester and midwives were all covered in blood. Her blood. There was too much blood around her. The sickening feeling swirling inside of him tore new fear as he rushed forward and watched her delicate face, pale and deathly. Her lips dry and her hands cold to the tips.

"My Lady wife, look at me, my dear. I beg of you " He watched her closely as her eyes fluttered softly at the sound of his voice. She looked at him and tried her best to give a smile but the look of it made him regret forcing her to go through the pain of giving birth. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him before it closed with a deep sigh. He squeezed her cold hands with worry - he prayed that the Mother will show his wife mercy, as she did to all the mothers who had gone through similar pain.

A tiny scream of life caught his attention. He looked behind him and there it was, his child. He never saw that she had finally given birth and was blinded with worry as he rushed in. His small bundle of joy was wrapped in the familiar green and gold linen his mother used for him when he was born. His pride and joy finally came and his heart was filled with unfamiliar warmth. He had never felt like this before.

Without removing his hand that held his wife, he asked the maester to help him place his little dragon on his free arm. The silver protruding hairs on his head had proven he was his child. He looks so small, so full of life as it cries and he shushes him. He had never felt more at ease as he was surrounded with his family. The family he chooses and who chooses him. His love for them runs deeply and he could never express how grateful he was for them.

"It is a girl." The sound of the maester's voice brought him back to where he was sitting and he looked at him. The maester's face did not hide his disappointment but he will forgive him for now.

A girl?

A smile broke through him and he apologized inside his head to his daughter as he called her wrong. With a gesture of love, he placed his nose on top of hers and his heart was full as he heard her stop crying and coo at him.

He was overfilled with happiness. It feels like nothing could go wrong.

However, his joy was short-lived when he felt his wife's hand loosen its grip to his. He had now realized her palm was colder, almost like ice. His head whipped in her direction and he saw the familiar feeling of impending death.

No. Please. Not her either.

The wrong feeling in his gut came back again and he ordered the maester to help his wife. They rushed forward and he stepped back as he cradled the child, who was now peacefully sleeping on his arm. She must have been tired as she forced her way out to this world. She was so innocent and pure that she did not realize the terror that was eating away at his father's core.

He had watched them closely as they tried their best to bring his lady wife back to life. She looks so small, and fragile. He was afraid that they would break her as they moved back and forth to revive her.

The wet nurse of his child had asked and begged him to go out but he refused to do so and did not leave the room until the maester had told him that his wife was safe from harm. No one could tell when she would wake up but he was relieved that she could recover now.

At last, he had entrusted his child to her caretaker and asked the others to leave them be. Him alone with his wife. He waited for the sound of the door closing, before he broke down. With shaking limbs and eyes blurry with tears, he cried and kissed her hand.

He apologized for what he had put her through. He apologized for what she had to witness.

He apologized for exposing her to violence.

He apologized and apologized until there wasn't anything he could say to her.

If the life of his wife would be the retribution for his sins then he would never forgive himself.

That night, on his knees, he prayed and prayed for her to get better until there were no words he could utter to the Mother.

💚

Three days had passed and she was still asleep. He had smiled at her sleeping form as he recalled his interaction he had with his daughter. She was fussy and loud, just like her mother. He knew she would grow up with her mother's tenacity and boldness.

Ignoring her pale face and thin body, he bit the inside of his cheek and continued his story. This was worse than war. Sitting beside her and watching as she fights for her life. Waiting and not being able to help her. He hoped that his stories would make her feel strong.

He never liked the idea of her missing the growth of their child. He knew her better and this will make her sad. She had expressed that she had always wished for her mother to see her grow when she was young but she died too early for her to even remember her face, which people had claimed that they looked quite a lot like each others'.

He could never deny that there is no moment that he never missed her. Every inch and corner of Red Keep reminds him of her. Half of his life was him being with her. He wanted each and every waking moment of his was to be with her.

Swallowing his selfishness and pride, again, he prayed for her to get well and wake up soon. He bargained to all of the Gods that he will do anything and pay for it in his power to make it come true.

💚

The council room was obnoxiously loud. He watched them quietly like a hunter, staring down its prey.

If he had the choice, he would be with his daughter and wife. But alas, he had to create a strong foundation for this new nation for his lovely daughter. He had to muster all the patience he had to stay still and listen to them.

After the discussion about the trade and economy, suddenly, all the old men present looked at him warily. Even without them uttering a word, he knew what they would tell him.

A searing hot anger rises through him but he feels calm. Calm enough to not hesitate to stab and kill with ease, just like what he did during the war. Or maybe he could ask Vhagar to bite them off in half or burn them alive.

"Congratulations on having a girl, your grace. How was she?" He forgot that man's name but he believed the one who first opened his mouth was a Baratheon.

"My girl was doing well." He replied curt and short.

He saw how some of the men gulped in nervousness at the sound of his voice. He intended for them to feel the venom and challenge them to continue so he can cut their tongue. They looked nervous and fear was all over their features. Only Larys and Cregan, looked somewhat calm and remained quiet.

"We're happy to h-hear that." The Baratheon continued with eyes wandering around his allies, like a helpless sheep waiting to be slaughtered. Aemond moved back and leaned on his chair, he wanted to see them all on a better view. He lay his head to his hand as he stared them down.

The silence was loud as everyone stayed seated and waited for each other. No one dares to. They were afraid. Aemond, the King, was ruthless. They knew bloodshed would be inevitable if they opened their mouths to speak about the dying Queen and the King having no heir after she gave birth to a daughter.

Each one prefers their head intact, except for one. Or maybe the wise old folk of the North had better places to be and so he started the conversation with a tired sigh.

"I thought you have something to say about the Queen, boy." He looked at the young Baratheon who was seated across him with emotionless eyes.

The Baratheon stared at Cregan and the air shifted. The old wolf calling his name had given him confidence to open his mouth and talk about the real reason why this council meeting was held in the first place.

"Your grace, as much as we all pray for the Queen to get better. Please understand that we talk about this with the clearest intention in mind. After what happened to the Queen and the uncertainty of her health, we believed that it would be better to take another wife…..for the sake of our budding kingdom. In that way, we could secure an heir." He spoke with an air of superiority. As if he truly knew what he was talking about.

Aemond stared at the man. He doesn't know how long it was but he just looked at him. The silence was uncomfortable and some of the gentlemen in front of him looked nervous as they waited for him to speak.

"Y-your grace?" After some time, the Baratheon spoke again.

He breathed in and finally, with an intense stare at the fool in front of him, he spoke with a neutral chilling tone.

"Did you know how the war started in the first place, boy?" He tipped his head and waited for an answer.

Not knowing what to reply, the Baratheon boy blinked and looked around for help. But when no one could give him an answer he replied, confused.

"Your grace?"

"When my beloved lady wife was almost dying from childbirth, I suddenly remembered how and why we were all here. Why thousands of lives were lost. Why did dragons almost die and were wiped out?" He said with a menacing smirk.

"You see, it started on this very council. Who were greedy for power to have the dragon blood on their lineage. To have their blood on the throne. And a foolish king who wore his heart on his sleeves. Those greedy old men pretended to truly care for him by using the memory of his wife and in the end feasted on his heart, voraciously. "He was way too lenient for his own good and once he realized he was being used, it was too late to change anything." My mother once told me.

And I — I always saw my father as someone who swims along the current because he trusts way too easily, not knowing that there were sharp rocks waiting for him at the end. Even if I knew he wouldn't give me the love of a father as he should, I respect him for being the king. I believed he did his best to be a good one and a fair father to us. It doesn't mean it was enough though."

Aemond stared from afar as he recalled how he envied his sister. How she got all the love they deserved to have too. It was never their fault to be treated that way and so he blamed all of it on her. But after the war and during the time his wife had suffered the similar fate of the former Queen, he realized how lonely his father might have felt. He realized how his sister might have suffered from being a girl. It was a strong slap on his face as he sat in the middle of this council and watched how these men didn't care about what he had to endure and how the life of his wife was the only reason why he was keeping sane. They will never understand, never.

"Your grace, w-we cannot understand-"

"Of course you wouldn't. None of you would." He cut him off before he could continue to rebuke him.

"If the Queen dies right after this meeting, those who had agreed to have me married for another one would be beheaded for treason. If she did not survive even though her body has been doing well for days, I will treat her death as intentional from all of you. Speak again of her that way, head will roll, and blood will soak the iron throne. The only reason why you do not have a mad King, who craves death, was because of her."

He stood up and did not care with the way the men yelled in unison of their protest against what he said. The only ones who stayed seated were Larys and Cregan, who both shook their heads. He did not care if they agreed with him. His wife will not die and he will protect her even if it means he has to be a Mad King.

💚

He stayed seated beside her, just like what he has been doing these days.

He chooses to be with her at night. He cannot stand to sleep in their room without her. It feels empty and cold.

The barren room, even though filled with gold and riches, feels like another room in a gloomy castle.

Each night, he stayed with her. Talk to her until he falls asleep on her side. He will either hold her hand or weave his hand through her hair, to soothe her. Sometimes, he even sings to her in High Valyrian, hoping that she will hear him and finally open her eyes. She always tells him she loves his voice when he speaks his native tongue.

He waited and waited but it seems like today was like any other night. She needed a whole day of sleep to recuperate. He slowly closed his eyes after he kissed her goodnight. And prayed again that tomorrow, is the day she will smile at him again.

A caress…

He cannot help but smile at the soft feathery caress on his face. It reminds him so much of how she wakes him up in the morning. What a beautiful dream..

A dream…

He frowned when he realized it was just a dream. She was still asleep and sick. And with his brows knit together, he relinquished the soft touch of fingers on his face. It feels familiar and welcoming.

Just a bit more, he wanted to feel that she's with him.

He was slowly going back to sleep, after what happened today, he seemed tired than usual, and it did not take long as the sleep tugged him back again when a tap jolted him awake.

Even though the war ended a long time ago, his senses were still heightened and he was glad he wasn't wearing his sword or so he probably would have killed whoever forcefully woke him up.

A smile….

He stared, mouth agape, when he saw you giving him a tired smile. He blinked and then, he panicked as he rushed forward at you, careful not to hurt you with his weight.

"My love.." He said with so much worry in his voice. He was feeling the tears threatening to come out of his eyes as he gazed at her pale face and dry lips. He doesn't even know how he will touch her. A moment of hesitation, his hands stopped midair as he panics that he might break her. What if he hurt her unintentionally and she fell asleep again?

He watched her as she tried to move her mouth but failed. She swallowed and tried again. This time he went to where the water and cup was placed and he helped her up to drink. She was thirsty and her mouth is probably dry from being asleep for a long time. Aemond calm yourself! She needed you more than now.

Once done, he carefully assisted her to lean on the headboard and she sighed with relief.

He was just looking at her. And she was looking back at him. It took a while, the staring, until his face contorted with relief and then, he cried. He was shaking as he held her hand. She felt her fragile hands weave through his hair as she shushed him. He knew she was smiling. Glad to be back on his arms.

He never felt so relieved and so thankful.

All his life the people, his loved ones and even the gods did not like him.

No matter how much he tried his best. No matter how much he was better he will never be chosen for he was only a second son. He was there as a safety but never the one.

But you choose him. And never did your love wavered.

He never felt so hopeless when you were in pain and bedridden.

He never felt so useless despite doing his best to be the strongest for his family.

It was the first time he felt so inadequate and weak. That he gave all of his strength to kneel and pray for you whenever he could. He begged and promised that he would do anything in his power just so he could have you back.

And now, crying in your middle like a child, as you held him as tight as he did, he prayed for gratefulness.

💚

A week after you woke up, you are still not strong enough to walk outside.

You relinquished the sun on your window and watched as Aemond carried and sways your daughter.

You have a feeling that the reason why he was able to be in your room, as much as he could, was because he threatened the nobles every time they tried to stop him. You tried to talk to him once, compromising that he doesn't have to be with you, almost the whole day, but he shrugged and rolled his eyes, stating that he would rather be with his wife than be surrounded by men.

Aemond can be stubborn but he never runs from his obligations so this was truly new for you.

You giggled as you watched your lord husband's eyes widen from surprise. He was teasing your daughter by placing his finger in her small palm, when she closed and squeezed him tight, never letting go. His eyes softened when she cooed at him.

He looks so different from when they call him the one-eyed prince for being vicious and fearsome. You were truly loved by the gods for witnessing this interaction and being one of the centers of his affection.

"I will make her my heir." He said with a plain voice, as if he was asking you how you were.

"My love?" You frowned, confused. You have witnessed Rhaenyra being crowned heir and how the war started from there. What is going on?

"I will change the law to make the eldest an heir. No matter what gender they may be, they will be given the same education and treatment, fit as the next ruler. If the nobles disagree, not that I care about them, I will also add that a female heir and noble will always have a noble child. Compared to a prince, a boy, the one she would carry will have noble blood in their veins. I will use my life, my reign to establish this. My daughter will be heir and no man, no noble, will be able to take that from her." The initial worry and confusion you felt from earlier vanished, as you watched him share his plan with the softest eyes. The setting sun at the window, creating a soft silhouette of him carrying his daughter. He loves her more than the throne. Something you have never witnessed before.

It warms your heart and you never thought you would fall deeper in love with him this much in this lifetime. You will forever be happy that he chose you.

"My love…..you always prove to me why I choose you every single waking moment of my life." Without thinking you opened your mouth and spoke the words that always lingered in your end.

Surprised, he stared at you and then, he smiled in awe. You don't even need him to speak for you to know that his eyes and soften feature was him telling you that he loves you.

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maidragoste · 1 year

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can you please make a Harwin Strong x reader where the reader and breakbones fall in love and get married but then the rumors about jace’s heritage start and Harwin admits cheating??? Thank you in advance

Harwin Strong x Velaryon!Reader

note: sorry for taking anon to make your request, and also for not following it completely. I hope you like it 🥰🥰

If you want a part two let me know because I already have ideas 👀

Part 2

reblogs and likes are always appreciated 🥰💖

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

"He is Prince Jacaerys Velaryon" announced your good sister proudly handing the baby to the king, you excitedly waited your turn to meet your nephew. The next to take the baby was the queen, you couldn't help but worry when you saw how the smile disappeared from her, you understood that your nephew had been healthy and without any deformity so you didn't understand why your friend's face suddenly seemed so concerned. It even seemed to you that Alicent was hesitating before passing the child to you.

And when you held Jacaerys in your arms, you understood why. All the emotion you felt disappeared the second you saw her brown locks on his little head. Your vision blurred and you began to blink to make any possible tears disappear. You weren't going to cry. You wouldn't make a scene. The existence of this child was humiliation enough. The boy was precious but you couldn't bear to see him anymore so you passed him on to your brother.

"Hopefully the next one looks more like Velaryon," you said with a fake smile and the room suddenly seemed cold. You were pleased to see Rhaenyra and Harwin tense up. "I suppose mother's Baratheon blood is stronger than we thought," you added, looking at Laenor. You also felt betrayed by your brother. You were sure that he also knew about your cousin and husband's affair and he was never able to tell you.

"It could also be Aemma's Arryn blood," Viserys said, and you wanted to laugh when he didn't seem to read the room. Or perhaps he preferred to feign ignorance before punishing his daughter for giving birth to a bastard.

•••••

“Is it yours?” was the first thing you said as soon as you were alone with your husband in their chambers. You didn't need to clarify what you were talking about. Harwin knew you were talking about Jacaerys.

The city guard commander thought through his answer. He didn't want to endanger the princess or his son, but from the look in your eyes he knew that if he lied to you, your reaction would be much worse. It was useless to lie to you because you already knew the truth. You knew it the first moment you saw the little prince.

"Yes," he replied "I'm sorry" He wasn't sorry about the birth of his child but he was sorry for hurting you.

You already knew the answer to your question, you just wanted to see if your husband was brave enough to admit his infidelity. You felt like such an idiot for not having seen it coming sooner…

Lie. You saw it coming only you were in denial and you turned a blind eye. You convinced yourself to believe Harwin's lies when he told you that he wouldn't come back to your chambers because he was on night watch even though you knew he couldn't have so many shifts in a row. You pretended not to hear the servants talk about the closeness between the commander of the city guard and Princess Rhaenyra. You ignored Larys and Alicent's concerns about those rumors. You ignored every red flag because you refused to believe it was true.

You had fallen in love with Harwin because he was a good man, he was attentive and loving and he made you laugh. In your head Harwin couldn't be hurting you and deceiving you in front of the whole court, your Harwin would never do that. Not the sweet man who had taken it upon himself to learn your family traditions for your wedding, not the man who whispered sweet words to you in the morning, not the man who looks like a happy puppy every time he sees you, not the man who From time to time he would bring you gifts after his patrols because according to him that bracelet or that ring reminded him of you… Not even when the princess got pregnant, he never made all those gestures or went to your bed. If he won't love you then he should have stopped doing all of that, unless he was only doing it to keep looking like a loving husband in your eyes.

"You love her?" You crossed your arms in an attempt to put on armor, you didn't want to show him how much his betrayal affected you.

You knew Harwin well and you knew he wouldn't cheat on you just for a one-night stand or just for passion. He wouldn't spoil his marriage just on the whim of the moment.

Harwin's eyes looked at you with deep sadness. He didn't want to hurt you even more but you deserved to know the truth "I love her" he admitted "I love both"

He wasn't lying. He still loved you, he could never stop loving the lovely girl he met as he helped her climb a tree to avoid a suitor. But her heart now also belonged to the princess, it had not been her intention to fall in love with her. After saving her from the incident of her wedding, he couldn't help but worry about her and he took notice of her as he seemed to have no one at court. He became close to a friend, he began to get to know what Rhaenyra was really like and he was captivated.

"Go to hell" you dug your nails into your arms, holding yourself back from punching him in the face "Now do you want to be like Aegon the Conqueror? Do you want to have two wives?" You sneered "From now on you will spend one night with me and ten with her?" you snorted.

Harwin took one of your hands and held it pressed over her heart so you could feel her heartbeat "I really love you both."

"It doesn't matter, because you already lost me" you let go of her grip and your husband looked at you with pain. At another time you would have felt sorry for him but now all you felt was pure resentment. "Please, go back to your princess and leave me alone"

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tinypixl · 6 months

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Inspired by Vrelnir saying that Harper was originally supposed to track down asylum escapee PC's on the blogspot a while ago, so here's a lil scene for how I imagine this could have gone (with a tiny sprinkle of wish fulfillment✨)

@pip-n-chips come get yo food, this was motivated by you digging up that old-ass ask 👀

Warnings/Additional Info: m!Harper, no smut sry, Harper being Harper, stalking, vomit mention, wobbly writing, implied past/future SA, traumatized PC, drugs, kidnapping, a tiny sprinkle of yandere

"...And remember, ladies and gentlemen," Harper said sternly, his hands folded behind his back: "You are dealing with a very disturbed and possibly confused individual that is quite capable of harming others as well as themselves."

Harper now finally turned to face the group of orderlies behind him with an unreadable expression. He paused for a few seconds, letting his words set in before continuing: "That being said, it is of upmost importance that you do not underestimate the patients intellectual capacity," Harpers expression remained unreadable but he visibly clenched his teeth, remembering how he himself had so stupidly miscalculated that sharp wit of yours.

"...Especially not after the incident that they caused a few days ago, which started this whole situation in the first place. The ones of you working in the asylum will know the full extend."

Some of the orderlies exchanged confused glances, the others knew better.

Harper turned around again and took a few steps forward. He stopped infront of a desk and picked up a piece of paper. It was a poster. A poster of you, with glazed, terror-stricken eyes. It had been taken when you first came to the asylum, now printed out as a warning to the townfolk (at least, that's the excuse he used in this case all the time: the safety of the townfolk...)

He inspected it incrediously, before swiftly fetching it as he spoke up once more: "I not only want you to be on the lookout for anyone entering and leaving the Nightingale hospital, I want you to keep an eye on the whole town, especially on Domus street. We've talked about the benefits those who'll retrieve this patient will recieve."

Harper looked upon that beautiful poster of yours once more before turning his head towards the orderlies one last time, the soft smile he usually wears had returned to his features.

"That was all, don't forget it," he remarked mannerly but one would've been reckless to ignore the discreet undertone of his voice.

"You are dismissed."

Orderlies began to shuffle out of the room. Harper made sure to wait until the last one left, the door slamming close before he returned his attention to the poster.

The dark room was dead quiet now with the only light peaking in through the thin lines of the shut blinds.

Harpers thumb gently brushed over the cheek of your image as he only took in your haunted expression for a moment. Then, he moved his arm to put it back on the desk again but stopped short of it's surface. Instead, he folded it three times and put it in the right pocket of his doctor's coat for later. It's not the first copy he lended for personal use but it's okay, he made enough for it not to make a difference.

To his suprise, he actually found himself feeling quite giddy today. It was certainly a big improvement from last weeks mood.

That being said, he still chastised himself for his embarrassing underestimation of your character. After all, it was extremely significant for his profession to be wary and watchful. But you were always so unassuming. Harper had carelessly mistaken your quietness as flustered shyness, maybe even submission. A mistake, that had made him want to rip his hair out when it finally hit him.

Your mind's stubborn refusal of his hypnosis attempts should've been a major red flag for that but then again, you'd never made the impression of an unruly patient who was plotting something. You weren't really popular with the other patients, mostly keeping to yourself and studying. You never resisted the rest of the treatment, never attacked him, always looking at him with those big innocent doe eyes-

Harper slammed his hands on the desk in front of him, some of his irritation returning accompanied by an odd fluttering in his stomach.

That little plan of yours had set into motion about two months ago, he reckoned. He recalled the view in front of him, of the flimsy hospital gown barely covering your supple body and how you'd obeyed his command to sit on his lap without any protests. The way your plush thighs had pressed against his own...

He could still feel the shivers go right into his crotch thinking about it... And how you'd kissed him then... Your soft lips hungrily bruising his, wet little tongue peaking into his mouth. So eager, so devoted... He really thought then that you'd lusted for him in the same vain that he had for you for so, so long.

A shaky breath came through Harper's slightly parted mouth. He wasn't entirely sure if you'd taken his keycard then or after he had you bend over his desk but it was gone in the evening. He'd spend the entirety of that day flushed with his heart pumping, he hadn't thought much of it going missing, as he'd also visited the farm not too long after. There was a spare he'd kept after all so it didn't matter much to him, thinking it just fell out in his lust-filled stupor...

Imagine his horror when he'd gotten all the patients back under control during that incident and you were suddenly missing. He'd even been worried at first that you'd gotten attacked and were lying somewhere, hurt. The security footage disproved that rather quickly. None of the orderlies had been able to find, let alone retrieve you from the surrounding area.

He'd spend that whole evening looking for you, and the entire night looking through hours upon hours of security footage. You'd entered the security room the same evening you'd stolen his keycard. That had also been when your frequent studying habit started. Every single damn textbook you'd used had been looked through by him that night. Oh you smart, slippery little thing. You'd been trying to figure out how to manipulate the control panel all this time...

A uncharacteristic grin formed on Harper's lips, his giddiness returning. Right, you were smart and you'd tricked him. He gave you that. But you were also all alone. Sure, he couldn't really waltz into Bailey's territory to get you back, you were still his ward which he hated, he should be the one in control, it wasn't enough to desperately pull on your delicate strings-

But you also wouldn't be able to hide in the orphanage forever. Eventually, you would have to resume your everyday life and then it would only be a matter of time.

Harper glanced into the asylum's yard through the cracks of the blinds, watching all the small moving figures.

It would only be a matter of time before he got you back.

A few small knocks rang against your door. The noise didn't startle you too much anymore, you'd gotten used to it pretty quickly after coming back. Despite this, it seemed a bit different today. With how early it was you first thought that it had been Bailey but the softness of the knocks contradicted that assumption.

For another moment, you just laid there, staring up at the ceiling before exhaling and dragging yourself to your dingy bedroom door.

Through the little gap, the flickering light of the hallway as well as two big, round, sympathetic eyes greeted you. Robin. She wore that small apologetic smile, with her brows softly knitted over her eyes. You adored that expression as much as you loathed it sometimes, it made you feel so pitied...

"Hey, how are you feeling?", Robin inquired carefully.

Stuttering, you could only give her a rather vague answer: "Umm I... I d-don't know I... think I'm okay...?"

"Do you think that... Maybe you'll be able to go to school again? No pressure of course! I'm just... A bit worried that you'll maybe miss too many hours. Don't want you to get written up or anything.."

Sweat collected on your hands that you tried to wipe on your pyjama pants. Robin was right but... You were still a bit... skeptical about assuming that you're in the clear just because you escaped but you couldn't tell her that.

Robin noticed your inner tutmoil and chimed in once more: "Of course, I'd walk with you to and from school! Just like you did when I was...", she trailed off.

Your mouth felt dry, trying to force out an answer.

"... Okay. I'll get ready."

Robin beamed at you before telling you to come to her room when you were done. It's fine you figured, you couldn't hide in the orphanage forever.

It was, in fact, not fine. But you didn't figure that out soon enough, the days after you'd gone to school again running just too smoothly. Despite looking over your shoulder, you never saw anyone watching. On the third day you even felt save enough to start to go to work on your own again.

Now, hiding in an alleyway beside two dumpsters in the dead of night, you noticed your slip-up.

Your hands were clutching a poster that you had ripped off the wall behind you minutes prior and probably the reason why you were in this situation in the first place. Your face was plastered on top. On the bottom it read: 'Warning! Dangerous asylum escapee; Caution is advised' along with a number to call about your last whereabouts. You had never been a danger to other people and still weren't but you knew the truth didn't matter in this town. Not when it was so easy for someone sneaky and powerful enough to just twist it to their advantage.

It was now abundantly clear to you where the orderlies you'd ran from earlier came from. Why didn't any of those posters catch your attention before?

Quietly, you huddled further into yourself beside the two dumpsters, trying to keep it together.

The alley lead into a dead-end but maybe, just maybe you were lucky and they hadn't seen you go in. You assumed they were still searching the surrounding area, so if you were quiet enough-

"Are you certain they went this way? You haven't found any trace of them yet."

You almost choked on the air that you were trying to inhale, hands instantly clasping over your mouth as you tried to keep yourself from hyperventilating. Of course, you'd recognize that smooth almost plummy voice instantly. You briefly wondered why he'd make such a big effort of showing up himself to bring you back but then again, the poster clutched in your hands over your mouth should've been enough prove to you that he was very serious about this.

A group of footsteps ripped you out of your thoughts and made your heart jump in terror. They were still rather distant but... definitely in the alleyway you were hiding in.

"100% sure Doctor, 'seen them go in this direction myself. We've searched any possible place they might've went. They have to be in here."

Oh god, you felt like you were going to throw up. The footsteps came closer, you could hear it. The ones closest to you sounded calm as they could be. Unrushed, taking their sweet time before they suddenly stopped.

"Alright. Let me handle this.", Harper's voice rang out once more. Now you could only hear those calm, slow footsteps coming closer and closer. Tears stung at the corners of your eyes.

Your name being called out gingerly sent a cold shiver down your spine. Harper's voice had taken on a soothing tone, the same one he used to play-pretend a normal doctor, the same one he used to hypnotise people:"... You don't have to be afraid any longer. I'm here to help you!"

At this point, you had completely given up on trying to control your breathing. Instead trying to hold you breath as much as could to prevent a full-blown panic attack. Prey, you felt like cornered prey.

"Please don't make this so hard on the both of us. I can help you. You'll feel so much better with regular treatment, I promise..."

Tears now ran down your cheeks freely as it took everything in you not to sob in pure horror. Despite your heartbeat pounding in your ears you heard clearly that his voice had started to shake slightly; giddy with anticipation. You needed to get out of here... You needed to get out of here!

"Someone in your predicament shouldn't be without help for so long...", his voice became more breathy as he closed in on your hiding spot.

"We both know that I know what's best for you..", the edge of lust in it was now unmistakeable. He was getting off on this.

You bit down on your tongue, trying to still your quivering form. You'd captivated the dear doctor, so much more than you could have known that you did and now, you'd pay gravely for your mistake-

"Got you."

A bloodcurdling scream tore out of your throat when his flushed, panting face was suddenly inches away from yours. It was instantly muffled by a chloroform-drenched rag. In your adrenaline-fueled desperation, you tore on his arm and pulled him down with you.

It took Harper by suprise and he crashed down on his knees, which gave you the chance to draw in a last-minute breath before wasting no more time to get to your feet to bolt out of the alley.

Something brushed over the hood of your jacket, trying to grasp ahold of it but failing as you ran, ran, ran

right into the arms of the two orderlies, to your unfortune.

"Not so fast!", one of them commanded. You tugged against them but they have you held tightly by both arms.

The clicking sound of dress shoes against concrete rang in your ears. You lifted your head to Doctor Harper's approaching figure.

Finally, the loud sob you'd been holding in slipped from you. You started struggling even harder against the two orderlies, nauseous with pure dread.

"Easy there kid.", one of the oderlies told you but you couldn't hear them, your mind preoccupied with primal fear.

Harper steps in front of you, with his usual soft, creepy smile.

"Sshhh..." Harper gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before firmly grasping your chin. His thumb lightly stroking it.

"Don't worry, I know what you need. I know that you need me."

With that, he held the rag to your face tightly as he continued to shush your muffled cries.

His thumb never leaving the softness of your cheek until your lights went out.

#degrees of lewdity #harper the doctor #i have offically escaped from the adhd beast #ok post of the year now on to post nothing for the next six months or so

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crumb · 21 days

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the NO-SKIP albums: a tag game 🎶💖

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums.

🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules: 1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND 2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

This was so hard!! There are so so so many albums not included but I think 15 albums is enough to where I look crazy but not tooooo crazy (doubtful) and I wanted to make it somewhat varied genre-wise. A lot of these artists have like multiple no-skip albums as well so picking between them was extra difficult—on some I went with the underrated favourite of mine to mix it up. I don't know! It's kinda all over the place. Thank you so much to @ventiswampwater, @visceravalentines, @avrilsboy, & @actualfucking for tagging me!!! 🥹 I think there were a few others who tagged me but then removed my tag, probably because they saw I was tagged by others lol, so thank you to those ppl too!!<333

Tagging: @xoxo-gossipghoul (& anyone else! I think most people have done this at this point? But if you’re reading this and haven’t been tagged yet then this is me tagging you!!! lol) Album List & Track Rec:

🏴 Damaged — Black Flag (1981)

track rec: Police Story

↳ This fucking city / Is run by pigs / They take the rights away / From all the kids

🪑 Songs from The Big Chair — Tears for Fears (1985)

track rec: Mothers Talk

↳ It's not that you're not good enough / It's just that we can make you better / Given that you pay the price / We can keep you young and tender / Following the footsteps of a funeral pyre / You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire

💀 Collection I & II — Misfits (1986/1995)

track rec: Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

↳ Rip the veins from human necks until they're wet with life / Razor-blades love teenage flesh, an epidermoty / I'll bring back a souvenir, for it's my mommy's dream

🍊 No Doubt — No Doubt (1992)

track rec: Trapped in a Box

↳ Ah trapped in a box my life becomes void / And all of the thought for myself's now destroyed / Controlling my mind, what to eat, what to buy / Subliminal rules: how to live, how to die / Trapped in a box

🌙 Dreaming of You — Selena (1995)

track rec: God’s Child (Baila Conmigo) (Ft. David Byrne)

↳ God makes us dream / But won't set us free / Hey, hey, hey, hey / God calls us dance to songs we can't hear / Hey, hey, hey, hey

🌊 Tidal — Fiona Apple (1996)

track rec: Sullen Girl

↳ And there's too much going on / But it's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion / Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

🦷 The Distillers — The Distillers (2000)

track rec: Red Carpet & Rebellion

↳ The palace dialed in the streets were burning / The red horizon came crashing through the morning / There was no contentment, only bloodshed / Red blood and social discontent / Bruised by puritan, oh, puritan exempt / It's like a peasant uprising

🦋 Greatest Hits — Mariah Carey (2001)

track rec: When You Believe (Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston)

↳ They don't always happen when you ask / And it's easy to give in to your fears / But when you're blinded by your pain / Can't see your way clear through the rain / A small but still, resilient voice / Says hope is very near

😈 Antics — Interpol (2004)

track rec: Not Even Jail

↳ I pretend like no one else to try control myself / I'm subtle like a lion's cage / Such a cautious display / Remember take hold of your time here / Give some meanings to the means / To your end / Not even jail

🌆 The City Sleeps in Flames — Scary Kids Scaring Kids (2005)

track rec: The World as We Know It

↳ A virus known as rage / Is brutal in destroying / And spreading all over the place / Bleeding culture / The dying nation / When the money controls the tide / We won't get another chance this time / We won't get a second chance this time

🎺 Back to Black — Amy Winehouse (2006)

track rec: Some Unholy War

↳ If my man was fightin' some unholy war / I would be behind him / Straight shook up beside him with strength / He didn't know, it's you I'm fightin' for / He can't lose with me in tow (With me in tow) / I refuse to let him go (To let him go) / At his side and drunk on pride / We wait for the blow

🎸 Favourite Worst Nightmare — Arctic Monkeys (2007)

track rec: Teddy Picker

↳ And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder / Don't be surprised when you get bent over / They told you, but you were gaggin' for it

3️⃣ Three Vol. 1 — Joel Plaskett (2009)

track rec: Gone, Gone, Gone

↳ In the middle of a lonely night / Got caught in the hallway light / For a minute you were gettin' close / I suspect I've seen a ghost / In the middle of a highway dream / You got caught in the headlight beam / Down the road with your tired eyes / Good old boys with your old goodbyes

🫙 Ignore the Ignorant — The Cribs (2009)

track rec: Emasculate Me

↳ Spent all this time chasing happy / But happy is boring to me / So put walls around our misery / And gently emasculate me

🧱 Brutalism — IDLES (2018)

track rec: Exeter

↳ It seems like no-one cares / I think I'll take the stairs / 'Cause nothing ever / He punched himself in the face / To prove he wasn't gay / 'Cause nothing ever happens

#these album choices make me look gay angry and sad #which is accurate #tag game #tagging game

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