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thekeeperof-thefandoms · 13 days

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I asked a few of my favorite hazbin writers this and only one answered and it was ok but I felt like it could have been expanded on so here's my take

Vox, Val, Alastor, and Lucifer react to your love language being baking/cooking

Vox

(Starting with him because he's the one thaf inspired this).

Vox came from the 50s and even though I firmly believe he is past all the ingrained gender roles and homophobia I think he still has some internalized misogyny. He wants to be viewed as the man in the relationship, the breadwinner, the provider. He can cook for himself but it's pretty basic food (except steak. Like every other man since the invention of the grill how to bbq has been hardwired into his brain. If his partner also grills ya'll fight over whose turn to cook out it is)

(Unrelated but as a lesbian who loves to grill, and is the designated grill bro, butch lesbians or cookout lesbians are some of Vox's favorite type of gays to chill with)

I firmly believe that's why even though he's a sub, it's so hard and would take time and trust to get him to let you top and enjoy it. He's so worried people will find out and judge him, that you'll judge him. His ego can be very fragile.

Especially if we go with the Vox used to be a cult leader theory. His power, image, and success are linked to his ability to appear in control. To appear to have all the answers and take responsibility. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to unravel all that and help him seperate his personal and professional image.

That being said, a partner who uses acts of service as a love language is perfect for him. He's a busy man, so he tends to be a gift giver type. The gifts are always well thought out and expensive. He wants it to be something you need, want, can get a lot of enjoyment from, and be worth the money spent, so he puts time and effort into them. Unless he's just showing off by giving you his card and telling you to go nuts.

So you taking time to make his coffee for him the way he likes, ordering lunch from his favorite places and having it sent to his office so he remembers to eat, or just texting him reminders to drink water or eat/take breaks throughout the day makes him giddy.

If you're his assistant or something, (and I believe Vox absolutely would have his partner working for him/with him), then it's even better when you take on extra work to try and help him. Organizing his schedule, sorting emails/mail, and proofreading things. Any small act you do for him, because you want to and care about him, makes his heart rate pick up.

It'll really make him overheat, glitching slightly, literal heart eyes, if he comes home after a shitty day and you're cooking for him.

His internal monologue is absolutely raving about what a good housewife you are for him, a hard working husband.

Bonus points if you cleaned too! Either way, he adores you even more now, letting you fret and coo at him, removing his jacket and tie, pouring him a drink and telling him dinner will be ready soon and you made his favorite. He's so tempted to bend you over the counter right now, but that would ruin dinner. After you guys eat though, he's having you for dessert. Man's gonna make sure you know how much he appreciates this by turning your knees to jello, good luck walking tomorrow, doll.

If you bake treats and bring them to VoxTek he's gonna brag so much. Literally the embodiment of John Mulaney's, "That's my wife!" If you bring them just for him, he's defending his treats like they're the last ones in Hell. He has literally hit Val with a fly swatter for even asking if he could have one.

(Unrelated but like, chubby vox maybe? You're cooking is too good)

Valentino

Val wishes he could cook better. He's some kind of latino, so I feel like the fact he can't cook very well is a sore spot culturally. He can make the salsa and chips and like, help with stuff, he knows how to wrap tortillas and tomales (I picture him as like Mexican or Puerto Rican but that's just cuz the town I grew up had a large Puerto Rican group).

It doesn't help that his eyesight is even more shit in Hell. He can't see what he's doing hald the time. It ruins his art hobby too. He's overall just more easily frustrated with his bad eyesight.

I don't imagine you guys dating per se. Maybe you're his sugar baby, maybe you're someone he hired to help him do stuff like clean and organize and you just sorta start doing other things to help him. (Again I'm not saying it excuses jackshit, but as someone who worked with bipolar people and people with mood disorder I kinda see the fan theory in him, either way I think all the Vees could be sort of trained to be better people, but especially Val. We already saw Vox do it.)

After all, he's usually in a much better mood if you do and that means less outbursts. The first few times you cook him something he teases you about being his housewife, tries to make it sexual. It's not really something he clocks as being an act of love because I don't think you'd realize it yourself at first. I think the more you got to see him when he wasn't stressed, lashing out, being abusive, you'd start catching feelings. ("I can fix him", delulu asses)

He loves to be in the kitchen when you cook once it starts becoming a regular thing. He can't see clearly what you're doing but the way you move around the kitchen and get what you need, even if you're an ADHD mess and do steps out of order or at random, he can tell you know what you're doing. He likes to smell the food too while it's cooking.

He will ask you to try and make some spicier/more traditional foods he grew up with, but he doesn’t remember all of the ingredients, and it just gets him more frustrated he can't tell you. If you look them up and surprise him with it it'll probably be the most genuine, human response you get from him.

He's shocked, silent, standing frozen in the penthouse as familiar smells waft around him. You present him a plate nervously, practically shaking hoping it's good enough. The first bite nearly puts him in tears. No one's done anything this nice for him? Why would you? Lowkey thinks you want something from him. It's gonna make him paranoid for a while so don't expect a verbal compliment but he eats it all.

Eventually though, one day when you're in the kitchen cooking, humming softly and swaying your hips, one set of his arms will wrap around your waist, the other reaching around you help with the salsa, or wrap a tamale, and he'll prop his chin on your head and mumble out thanks. Some praise, maybe. Would definitely tell you stories about eating these foods growing up.

It's the first step towards having an actual relationship with him.

Alastor

This man almost always insists on cooking. He isn't much of a sweet tooth either. You tell him one night you want to try cooking for him. Tell him you understand it's an activity he enjoys and relaxes too, (especially if you know it's something that reminds him of his mother), but you want to do something for him and this is one way you show you care.

It's gonna remind him of his Mama so much that if you didn't know why he loved cooking so much before you do now. He compromises. You pick the meal and gather the ingredients and do most of the cooking and he helps prep and does dishes.

He playfully critiques you the entire time about adding some spice too it or a little southern flair. Just smack him with the wooden spoon, gently. It's gonna make him laugh because his Mama used to do that when he wouldn't keep out of the sweets, or tried to add stuff to her cooking.

Once you start it becomes habit to help each other in the kitchen every night, trading off who cooks and who preps and does dishes.

If you do find baked goods he likes that aren't too sweet and send them to him as snacks, especially to Overlord meetings, he's so fucking obnoxious about his sweet little doe (doesn't matter if you are one or not) and how they spoil him. Especially rubs it in Vox's face (not him whining to his partner so they send him with treats too so he can also brag).

Only shares with Charlie, Rosie, Niffty, and sometimes Zestiel. If he's feeling generous, Husk can have a bite.

Low-key also has a thing for his partner behaving domestically even if he isn't exactly invested in traditional marriage.

Favorite activity though is dancing with you in the kitchen to jazz while dinner cooks, holding you close, in his room usually, so he can hear the sounds of the bayou. If he closes his eyes he can pretend this is how his life went and that his Mama is in the corner or sitting in her chair, watching him, happy to see him find someone.

He will literally kiss Vox willingly before admitting that last part though.

Lucifer

It's not that he can't cook, it's just....it's easier to just snap his fingers and make food appear. He's been in a depressed slump for decades man, he's lived off of the 'want food, no cook, only eat' mindset.

When you come into his life it's a complete overhaul. Despite what issues you have yourself you can recognize someone in worse state than you and immediately categorize and prioritize. First thing first, get this man's duck collection/obsession organized, thinned out, and under control.

Second, help him work through his issues with Lillith and Charlie. Encourage therapy, be a mediator between him and Charlie (and trust me she appreciates it. She knows her dad struggles, didn't know how bad, and still feels awkward). Help him socialize more, rebuild his connection with the other sins.

Get this man a work schedule!

Then it's on to personal habits. You help him get out of bed, you're both probably a little helpless in the sleeping on time category though. Help him get a routine again to keep out of his funk. Then you start cooking for him. It just happens naturally. You enjoy cooking, you enjoy showing people you love how much you care by providing good meals.

At first he's gonna resist and tell you he can handle that, you already do so much for him. He can cook or better yet he can just make it appear and you laugh and tell him it tastes better when it's made with love. He brushes it off as a joke too, you're both just being silly and obviously you said that to get him to quit fussing. Except, unholy hell does it actually taste so much better.

Lucifer hadn’t realized how bland and unsatisfying just materializing the food was. Maybe that's because he was so depressed and uninterested in what he ate, maybe not. Either way, your cooking is so much fucking better. He actually looks forward to eating now. If he gets caught up in work or has a bad day, you make sure to always bring him something, leaving it as an offering of sorts. It almost always works and entices him to eat at least once.

You cook, he does dishes, and he will not budge on that rule. He wants to be a fair man. He occasionally boots you out to do dessert, though. Apple pie is his bitch and you've never tasted one as good as his. He also makes good pancakes and some absolutely orgasmic angel's food cake.

Ironicall, devil's food cake is one of your go to recipes. Sometimes you both make a cake and take it to events just to watch people get confused as fuck when it's revealed the literal Devil did not make the devil's food cake.

Everyime you're in the kitchen together it's a disaster, you're both to silly and chaotic. You were making noodles one time and he threw flour at you so you smacked him with the noodle you were holding, leaving a line of flour and a speck of dough against his cheek. From there it escalates. It happens every time. Making cakes together, you're smashing frosting on each other. Making cookies, you're fighting each other to stop eating cookie dough.

Once, after you get fed up with him stealing her spatula to lick the chocolate off of, hovering above you with his wings, you pout and bat your eyes, asking him sweetly to please give it back. He swoops down in front of you, booping your nose to smear chocolate on it and leaning in to kiss you, letting you have a taste of the chocolate batter you were mixing for brownies. While his tongue is in your mouth, drunk off the taste of you and chocolate you smash an egg over his head and let out a triumphant cheer, snatching back your spatula.

He's so stunned his wings disappear and he drops the last few inches to the ground while you cackle. His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing, and his chest feels like it's gonna explode. His eyes are literal sparkles. He hasn't felt this much joy, wonder, and love since Charlie was born. It feels like witnessing creation all over again, of the breathlessness he felt when he first saw Lillith.

You're laughter stops when you realize he's just staring at you awestruck and you smile, asking if he's ok.

"For once...yeah..Yes. I'm ok." He responds, genuinely. You kiss his cheek and resume baking. He watches you from the counter now, dreamily, thinking about how he's gonna marry you someday.

#hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #vox x reader #valentino x reader #lucifer x reader #alastor x reader

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docholligay · 4 years

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an overwatch/friends crossover sounds........... so fucking WILD. mccree, working retail,

This is an extension of that Doc Hates everything Friends episode, but would we like to talk about what people who were in Overwatch (that I write about) do before Pharah and Tracer get the bright idea to start it back up? No! I don’t care I want to be self-indulgent and pretend you do. (All in my HON HON HON canon, of course)

Ana

Well she’s busy pretending to be dead, but a girl’s gotta eat

She becomes a mercenary, and while she’s picky about her jobs, she does, in fact, know that she has to pay rent and sometimes you just get the itch to snipe a man.

She reads about all of Pharah’s accomplishments and is convinced she’s doing the best thing by letting Pharah think she’s dead.

McCree

Thinks for about .5 seconds about going back to the Deadlock Gang. Even his total lack of pride won’t allow him to. They left him, didn’t they? He won’t come crawling back.

It occurs to Jesse he doesn’t have loads of skills.

He takes a job working a Murdoch’s in Salida, Colorado, selling rope and bailing wire and bullets and various farm and ranch items.

He has a little mobile home on some land and a horse and his cats and other than being lonely, he’s reasonably happy.

Jesse McCree just can’t leave well enough alone, and this is how Reaper gets to him.

Mercy

First she has convince the medical board that just because the UN brought her and Reinhardt up on ridiculous charges because they couldn’t find hardly anyone else, doesn’t mean she ought to lose her license.

Tracer is still struggling to recover from Doomfist ripping her through time.

A technicality means they can’t charge Winston, as he is not human.

Conveniently everyone that SHOULD be charged is dead.

“Dead”

In any case, she manages to convince them and goes about repairing her reputation. She’s won Nobel prizes, she never patented a single medical breakthrough she made, but all people remember is seeing her in front of the UN. All they remember is hearing it said that she was a bad person.

She works a speaking circuit, which she hates but which allows her to rebuild some sort of good graces. She takes a job teaching pre-med in Zurich.

It only takes a couple of years for Harvard to forget the unpleasantness of the inquiry and remember her genius. She takes a teaching position at their medical school, gets a little apartment at the back of a house, and gets takeout.

She meets Fareeha Amari, and her life changes forever, and the sun seems to finally rise.

Tracer

First things first, Lena thinks, she has to get back to normal. The tear through time rattled her fairly well, and recovery is slow.

Ang is busy getting written up by the world’s principal’s office and still spends nights and weekends adjusting medications and such for Lena, trying to help get on her feet. Ang is a good egg, a kind person, and it makes Tracer so angry she can’t hardly think to see her humiliated on a world stage.

She damn near tosses open the door and marches down to New York City to give them a piece of her mind, save for the fact that the world still brings her to her knees more than she’d like.

In time, she does recover. It takes about six months for her to be back in life again, and another month for her to get well enough that she decides to go out and get a job, no matter what Winston has to say about it.

Her pilot’s license was never formally revoked, because they, in truth, never thought she would get better, and it would reflect ill on them to strip the Hero of London.

But that doesn’t mean anyone will let her get in the air. She can’t get hired by fucking RyanAir, even.

She spends a fair amount of time screaming at the sky no one will let her into.

Lena takes a breath, and decides she’s going to get a job, whatever it is, and worry over the flying later. Her uncle Teddy offers to let her come work in the bakery, says he’d love to have her, but it feels too much like charity, and also baking starts at 3 am.

She gives her resume, typed neatly on linen paper, to anyone who will take it out of her hands. Bars, restaurants, (”I’m very cheerful, mind. Excellent customer service”), Harrods to Marks and Spencers, but no one bites until she wanders into a little suit shop, and, quite by starting a conversation, manages to sell a fine suit to a fellow butch lesbian.

The owner is not a stupid man, and sees an untapped market.

Lena enjoys it quite a bit, helping up the selections of boys’ suiting for the smaller among them, helping with tailoring, and in general, making excellent sales and feeling like she’s contributing in life.

But then, she gets an offer from Top Gun. The Americans are as crazy as she’s always thought and they’d love to have her come teach. She’s one of the finest fighter pilots ever born, so who cares if she might disappear in the air?

She loves it. She’s so happy, the feel of being back in the cockpit, of flying, of coming to close to the line, it fills her in a way she had missed so very much, even, she realizes, when she was doing field work for Overwatch.

But she misses London terribly, and her family, and Winston is in Boston, so when Red Air offers her a position, even thought it’s theoretical, she takes it.

But the good news is, Helix also wants to work with her. They need a pilot to help with some prototypes for flying.

She’ll be working with Captain Fareeha Amari.

Winston

He has to take care of Lena. This is the only thing he knows for sure, is that she’s sick, and she needs his help, and he has to take care of her.

Overwatch fell down around their ears, but he doesn’t even care. He has to help her.

He repairs mobile phones, tablets, and laptops out of his house, and the pay is not great, but it’s enough to keep them together, especially with Tracer’s family helping out.

They always treat him so kindly, like he was one of them too.

He hates that Lena feels she has to get a job. But there’s no arguing with her once she’s made her mind up.

Besides, it’s lifted her mood so much that he thinks better of his hesitation.

He invents a new kind of battery for a cell phone, and the royalties come trickling in, and suddenly Winston has so much less to worry about than normal, and nothing again if it ever takes off, save for the fact that Lena has an offer in America that she intends to take.

He thinks about just going with her, but decides instead to apply to do research at universities. He’s a doctor. He should have the same chance as anyone else.

He didn’t really believe in himself, but he gets a position at MIT.

Lena flies to come see him at least once a month.

(Pharah and Dva are not on this list because they were not in 1.0)

#Anonymous #Ask Day Jan 2020

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dyketionary · 4 years

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Femme lesbian ask: 1, 2, 11, 12, 14, 19, 21, 22, 29, 32, 41, 47

1. Do you like wearing tights or stockings? Tights cuz they show off my tattoos since most of them are on my legs 2. If you wear lipstick what is your favourite one called? Heh I love some good red ones from Nyx but they’re in my bedroom and I’m too tired to leave the sofa 11.Have you ever asked a butch on a date? Answered this one previously! And the answer is yeees I have 12.Which do you prefer, fixing a butch's tie and collar or fixing their rolled sleeves? Answered this one too, short answer I prefer fixing my butches collar 14.How would you describe your sense of style? Do you think it reflects your personality? Hmm... very excentric, vibrant, often red and black... Either very classic OFOS butch-femme, in tartan or short-short dresses or skirts. I collect vintage dresses and lingerie. Recently I have been painting on my leather jackets, which have become my statement pieces. Oh, almost forgot the most important! I dress very lesbian and femme coded!💋

19. I you have someone, what is an item of clothing which belongs to your butch but you like wearing? Well a whole lot of their clothes especially one of their flannels and I’m hoping they’re leaving one specific wolf cut off tshirt behind now when they leave............ 👀👀👀

21.Would you like to be proposed to or do the proposal? I’m extremely romantic and have cried for hours to youtube clips of proposals, so to answer the question it would be my dream to be proposed to (I would bawl my eyes out) 😭 22. If you have a butch, gush about them! I dooooooo and very happily in love with them. I’ve been missing them like crazy now during corona but luckily have been able to have them staying with my for a little over a week. Falling in love with my Nemo more and more each day...❤️ 29. Tag any femmes you're friends with so we can find each other! @highfemheartstrings 32. If you could make any fictional character be a lesbian, who would you choose and Why? AUDREY HORNE from Twin Peaks since she is my all time fave femme icon! She awoke my femme aestethics 41. Talk about butches and why you love them! Butches are my home, my family and my counterpart 47. We're having a big femme picnic! What do you bring? Darn I wish we could actually have one... I love cooking and baking so I would probably bring my special passionfruit-lemon-menthe cheesecake and then convince my butch to make us the pastasalad they made on our picknic

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butterscotch-brigade · 5 years

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h...honeycarrot... (i hope this isn't being sent by everyone)

ahhhhh i love you babe!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!

who hogs the duvet - lily, totally. her definition of being Cozy is taking up as much space as possible and it annoys the hell outta gumi but they Love Each Other so its ok

who texts/rings to check how their day is going - both of em do!!!! they both get worried about each other a lot so they like to check in to see how the other is doin!!!

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts - gumi!!! she puts a lot of thought into the gifts she wants to give her Geef and lily usually ends up panicking and worrying that her gift isnt as nice (it usually is tho)

who gets up first in the morning - gumi again. she gets up early naturally bc her biological clock has been Wired to work on Anxiety Scheduling. lily can sometimes convince her to sleep in and snuggle tho!!!!

who suggests new things in bed - you wouldnt believe it but......gumi.....shes really shy about it tho so it usually takes her like 10 minutes to make a simple request bc shes not Used to having sex

who cries at movies - lily.......she may act like a Big Strong Butch but deep down shes got a Soft Heart and WILL cry at the slightest occurrence that goes wrong for a movie protagonist. she likes to watch a lot of cartoons as a result bc those are usually happier

who gives unprompted massages - lily does most of the time, but sometimes gumi does too!!! lily likes to give gumi massages bc she likes takin care of her Delicate Femme gf, while gumi likes givin lily massages bc she likes to a.) look at all her back tattoos and b.) feel her Rippling Muscles

who fusses over the other when they’re sick - omg GUMI, poor gal gets so nervous whenever lily has the smallest cold!!!! she p much NEVER leaves lilys side whenever shes sick and basically has to force her to take medicine bc she hates takin medicine

who gets jealous easiest - none of em really get jealous?? ig when they were in high school lily was jealous of gakupo bc before gumi realized she was gay she dated him bc of Compulsory Heterosexuality but thats about it

who has the most embarrassing taste in music - both of em do tbh....lily for the most part is a Hardcore Punk Rock Chick but occasionally shell secretly listen to like. avril lavignes hello kitty or the barbie girl song. meanwhile gumi really likes video game music and electronica but she also enjoys super sappy cliche love songs

who collects something unusual - gumi collects gundams which isnt that unusual but she also likes to collect little machine parts and ESPECIALLY watches bc she likes seein how they......tick........get it........im so Funny

who takes the longest to get ready - lily.....she is what i like to call a Lazybian bc shes lazy AND a lesbian and gumi usually has to rush her whenever they have an important outing

who is the most tidy and organised - GUMI OFC, but ironically she doesnt tidy up her own things a lot of the time.....she will clean literally anything but if you even SUGGEST that she should pick up all the spare shit she has on her side of the room she will Refuse

who gets most excited about the holidays - lily!!!! gumi gets really nervous around holidays bc theres always a lot of planning to do so lily tries her best to cheer her up!!!!

who is the big spoon/little spoon - OBVS lily is the big spoon and gumi is the lil spoon........butches were Made for giving warm hugs and gumi feels so safe in her arms all the time ahhhhhhh I LOVE THEM THEYRE SO CUTE

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports - gumi surprisingly!!!! she really REALLY likes to win so as a result she HATES to lose, which leads to a lot of teasing on lilys part lol

who starts the most arguments - lily but thats mostly bc shes kinda stubborn and set in her ways a lot of the time......yknow that part in undertale where papyrus asks sans to pick up his sock and he just. picks it up and puts it back??? thats how most of lily and gumis arguments go

who suggests that they buy a pet - it was actually a mutual decision!!! they both decided that they needed an Animal Friend to have around the house so they went out and adopted a golden retriever from a local shelter!!! her name is honey bc lily was the one who picked her out so she got to name it

what couple traditions they have - they like to play smash melee with each other on their days off, go out for lil walks if the weather is nice, and drink hot chocolate together on cold winter days!!!!

what tv shows they watch together - gumi really likes gundam and gurren lagen (is that how you spell it idk) so they watch that a lot but lily really likes Soft childrens shows like crayon shin chan so sometimes they watch that together too!!!!

what other couple they hang out with - yuuma and yohio!!!! theyre wlw and mlm solidarity!!!! aside from that tho they also like to hang with miku and rin, flower and maika, and yukari and ia

how they spend time together as a couple - it depends!!!! sometimes they like to stay inside and snuggle, sometimes they like to go out and go on cute carnival dates or go to the park!!! they find lots of ways to be Cute Geefs!!!!!

who made the first move - teeeechnically it was gumi bc she ended up confessing first but that was during an anxiety attack and she just ended up accidentally blurting it out but then lily kissed her sooooo maybe lily??? idk but it was Gay

who brings flowers home - both of em do!!!!! they like givin each other lil surprises (tho gumi has to restrain herself from getting lily lilies All The Time bc its just. too easy)

who is the best cook - gumi, but theyre both p good actually!!! gumi likes to bake desserts while lily prefers to cook meals, but they help each other out whenever they can!!!

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