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keiwritesstuff · 3 years

Text

Hopeless

Ishikawa Yuki AU

Summary : When the pieces started to fall together, she knew she had no choice but to let him go.

Genre : slice of life, angst

Notes : long. Self-indulgent. 3rd person POV. Not sure if I got the characterization right. I wrote this all in one night. Not proofread, so there might be misspelled words and grammatical errors. Based on a prompt. Best read on pc/laptop/browser (if you’re on your phone), since the layout changes when it’s read/opened on the phone tumblr app.

When did she start noticing it?

Was is sometime after their relationship reached the eighth month?

Or was it when he started showing strange signs or started doing things that were very much unlikely for him to do?

+++

Even before they started dating, when they were just friends, Yuki had always listened. Whether she’s venting, or just simply talking about how her day was; he would always, always listen.

And so, when she caught him staring into space that day, just as she was talking about her thoughts on one of the matches she recently watched, she felt a little odd.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He shook his head lightly. “I’m just a little bit exhausted. I stayed up watching the team’s past matches. For reference.”

She chuckled. That sounds just like him. Always finding opportunities to improve. He never thought of anything or anyone lightly. He always believes that there is always something new to learn from everyone regardless of age and experience.

She gave him a little smile and brushed her fingers lightly against his cheek. “You’ll do well. Your teammates got your back. You know that, right?”

He nodded.

And she brushed off the odd feeling. Yuki was just being…. Yuki.

_________________________________________________________

On their date the following week, Yuki suggested that they go to their usual place for dinner; a restaurant with tatami rooms for private dining, surrounded by luxurious green landscaping to cater to the demands of the many wealthy patrons who frequent the restaurant. She’s not used to at all, since she grew up in an ordinary, middle-class family, but the food is heavenly, and the restaurant provides a safe space for the both of them to spend some time together.

Yuki was reading the menu, seeming unsure of what he would have that evening. He was probably being cautious of his diet, she thought.

“I think I’ll have the usual.” she spoke first while Yuki was still scanning the menu. It’s the same food that she always had every time they went to the restaurant. Yuki was the one who suggested it when he first brought her to this restaurant, and she was teased a lot by him for not wanting to try anything else other than that particular menu, to the extent where he no longer needed to ask her what she would have whenever they go to this place for a meal.

She stifled a laughter when she remembered how Yuki used to tease her all the time about it, how he used to attempt to steal her food and cutely asked her to finish the tomatoes in his plate, and how they often argued about the secret ingredients in the menu. This restaurant held all those memories.

She was happily smiling at the thought, until Yuki asked,

“Hold on… which one is it again?”

_________________________________________________________

Two weeks.

They didn’t see each other for two weeks after that last date. Yuki had a busy schedule, filled with practice, meetings, interviews and photoshoots. It wasn’t the first time they couldn’t see each other for a long period of time.

But it was the first time that Yuki couldn’t respond to a lot of her calls.

She was probably calling at the wrong time. His schedule usually ends at 10 p.m, but he must’ve had extended meetings with his manager after that. Or he just wanted to rest. After all, not all of her calls were left unanswered. He did answer some of it. And as she suspected, he was just exhausted. Of course he was. After all, he was the team’s ace.

She understood her position. She understood his as well. This is as normal as their relationship would allow. Who he is… does not allow them to have what other couples have. They could not have that stroll at a park under the cherry blossom trees. They could not have those cheesy movie dates. They could not even go to the beach to watch the sun set, since there is a high risk of fans and paparazzi finding him.

Regardless, she was content. She loves him, and she would go above and beyond to make sure his career is not jeopardized by their relationship in any way, even if it means that she could not eat sundaes on broad daylight with Yuki.

+++

[Hey, how was your day? How was practice?]

She texted him.

[It was good.]

Came his reply.

[Did you have fun? Is Takahashi still messing with you since that day you accidentally ate his bread? Haha]

He responded,

[No, not really.]

Strange. It wasn’t like him to give that kind of replies. He usually would talk a lot, even in his texts. He would vent about how his teammates kept teasing him for being so popular, or how much he wanted to eat greasy, deep-fried food.

This time, it was really strange.

[Hey.. are you alright?]

She hit ‘send’.

Two minutes later, a reply came.

[Yeah. Just dead tired. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m going to bed. Good night.]

_________________________________________________________

This went on for a week more. The short replies, the unanswered calls, the brief conversations. To say that she was not upset was clearly a lie, since things weren’t like that before. And it’s not like he didn’t respond to her calls and texts AT ALL. He did. It’s just that.. it has become somehow different.

Or was she the one who became strange? Has she become… clingy? Could it just be her mind playing tricks on her? Or perhaps… this is what to be expected when one is dating a famous athlete?

Then again, beggars can’t be choosers.

She should be more understanding of his job. She should be supportive. There are things that she herself has not understood yet about how the industry works and she’s sure that Yuki already has a lot on his plate. He isn’t just an athlete. He is an ambassador, a representative, and to an extent, an idol to many.

She shouldn’t ask too much of him.

_________________________________________________________

It was on one Friday morning where she had to call in sick after waking up in shock, immediately running to the toilet and vomiting. She knew right away that she caught a high fever.

Has she not been taking care of her health lately? Was she stressed at work?

Overthinking?

Regardless, with shaking hands, and with the little consciousness she had left, she left a voice message for a close friend. She had promised him that she’d join him in a co-op expedition on Monster Hunter later that night.

“Hey, Yuji.. I can’t join you tonight.. high fever.. Need to rest. Sorry.. I’ll join you some other time, okay?”

With that, she hung up, mustered as much strength as she could, pulled up the covers and fell into an uneasy sleep.

+++

She was awoken by the sound of plates being handled. Her eyes shot open.

Burglar?

Terrified, she turned around slowly, only to breathe out a sigh of relief when she saw the person in her house. She had forgotten that she gave him the spare keys to her house.

“Gosh..Yuki.. You scared me..”

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.” he replied, arranging something on the kitchen counter.

“W..what time is it? How long have I been sleeping?” her hand roamed around for her phone. She found it and checked the time. To her surprise, she was out cold for a good seven hours and it’s already 3 in the evening. She groaned. Her whole body still felt heavy, but that sleep was very much needed.

“Are you alright?”

Yuki came to her and sat next to her on the bed.

On his lap, was a bowl of soup.

She stared at the bowl, and then.. at her boyfriend.

“Did you come here and….cook?”

“Yes..? And.. I know you’re sick and all, but how come I only found out about it from Nishida? Why didn’t you call me?” he asked out of sheer curiosity while helping her to sit up straight. She remembered the phone call this morning. “Oh.. I told him I couldn’t join our gaming session tonight.. he needed help taking down a boss. I didn’t have much strength to call anyone after that.”

“Taking down a boss..? Is it that important? You guys are ridiculous.” he teased.

She let out a weak chuckle. “Hey, Shara Ishvalda is not ridiculous. What’s ridiculous is you, suddenly showing up in my place after God knows how long we haven’t properly talked to each other.”

She meant is as a joke, but despite the fever flowing painfully in her veins and biting painfully at her joints, she could still notice the change in his expression. Oops. Did she say something wrong?

“I understand you’re busy. I shouldn’t ask too much of you.” she added, but Yuki was silent. The expression on his face was unreadable.

Was he upset? What exactly happened to him lately? Is he exhausted? Stressed? What is he hiding from her? Was something bothering him? Was it work?

Was it guilt?

Her thoughts were cut off when Yuki handed her a spoon. “I hope it tastes okay.” he spoke.

“Well... unfortunately, my tongue is currently deprived of its senses… and therefore, I deem your soup…”

She took a sip and imitated Gordon Ramsey’s face expression as best as she could, “…mediocre in terms of its taste.”

Her attempt to lighten up the mood worked.

Yuki was laughing softly.

Ah, there he was. Her Yuki.

The person who had made her heart pound like a drum, the man who often put others before him, the man who made her realize just how much she could love someone. She hasn’t seen that smile for such a long time. She missed that smile.

She missed him.

All she could do was stare at the man in front of her. With trembling fingers, she touched his cheek. “I missed this, Yuki. I missed you.” she said meekly. He took her hand in his own, but was silent for some time before saying,

“I’m here.”

“I know you’re busy. I know people expect a lot from you. I know you tend to carry the burden all on your own. I respect that. But-- I also want you to know that if you need any help, all of us are here for you. Me, your teammates, your family.. I want you to always remember that you---”

Yuki’s phone on the night stand vibrated, signalling an incoming call.

Yuki immediately answered the phone call and walked towards the kitchen, where she couldn’t hear him.

It was a short phone call. After it ended, Yuki went back to sit next to her on the bed. But this time, she could no longer form any words.

As much as she was surprised that she was interrupted mid-conversation, she couldn’t stop the chills that ran down her spine. Immediately, that feverish burn in her veins was replaced by something much, much more agonizing, and she could feel blood rushing to her head, trying to make sense of what she had seen.

She saw the caller ID, and she knew who it was.

She knew that name. She noticed that Yuki probably didn’t realize that she had already seen it, considering how he was trying to act normal after that phone call, but somehow… just somehow…

Everything started to fall into place. Everything started to make sense.

_________________________________________________________

Of all Yuki’s friends and teammates, only a few had personally known her. She had grown close to Yuji after she and Yuki started dating (especially when he found out both of them loved games), and Takahashi texts her every now and then, spilling tea about the things her boyfriend do during training, and sometimes sent her pictures of young Yuki because he absolutely loved it when she teased Yuki about it.

Masa, though, is the only one who knew her way before she met Yuki. In fact, he was the reason they met in the first place. She and Masa coincidentally shared the same social circle, and their passion and interest in volleyball and manga made them friends.

When Masa heard her voice over the phone in all seriousness, he knew something had definitely happened. She was not the type who talks about what happens in her relationship to others. She had always tried to resolve any conflicts on her own first. It was her way of protecting herself and Yuki.

When she had finished talking, he became silent, mainly due to shock and disbelief. Several things were running through his mind. What was Yuki doing? Has that boy lost his mind?

“Or maybe I’m the one overthinking? I’m not sure what to think of anymore, Masa.” she spoke. She wanted to believe that she was indeed overthinking. That she saw wrong. That everything happened was either just a coincidence or just Yuki feeling exhausted because of work. She wanted to believe in Yuki.

But it was hard. It was hard when the pieces just somehow…fit together.

“Hey, I’ll try and talk to him somehow and find out what’s going on. You should try to calm down and save your worries for later, okay?” he assured her.

They had been friends for a long time. She knew she could count on him. Plus, Yuki had always looked up to Masa. If there is anyone in the team who could get Yuki to talk about his feelings and thoughts in all honesty, it would definitely be Masa. She trusts him.

She trusts his judgment.

She wished she didn’t.

Because four days later, she received a phone call from Masa, confirming all her worst fears.

_________________________________________________________

Other than the restaurant, they have another secret spot where they could meet without the prying eyes of others.

It was at a small, empty playground on the hills. During daytime, the place would be crowded with children and the elderly who found the place suitable for walks and light jogs. At night, the playground is completely silent due to its not-so-close distance from the nearest neighborhood, and because of it’s location on the hills, the playground is a lot colder and eerier at night.

It was ideal enough for Yuki and her. They would sit on the swings and talk about many things while looking at the view from the hills. On colder nights, they would stay in his car, eating snacks and enjoy each other’s company. She was happy enough to have him next to her, healthy and smiling. She couldn’t ask for more.

This time, however, when she looked at him as he got out of his car and walked towards her, she knew that she will no longer be able to even ask for anything more.

“Hey,” she started.

“Hey,” he replied the same.

No hugs. No kisses.

It had really dawned on her that everything was ending right there and then.

Where do they start?

Where do things start to end?

Can it end quickly?

It’s starting to feel really, really painful.

She looked at him. Stared at him. His eyes, that see the best in everyone. His nose, that he loves to scrunch. His lips.. that had showered her with soft kisses. His hands... that had given her warmth for so many times.

How did things turn out this way?

But she knew she had to do it. It had to be done. What’s the use of a having a relationship if only one of them is committed to it?

“You know I’m breaking up with you, right?”

The words unexpectedly came out smoothly. She didn’t know she could be so… composed.

Inside, however, she felt as if every inch of her was slashed with a knife.

It seemed that he had already anticipated it. She could read the expression he wore on his face.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” she asked.

He paused for some time. And lightly nodded.

She stared at the view. The city used to look so vibrant from where they were. Now, it just looks like random lights piling on top of each other.

It’s making her dizzy.

She turned around to face the other way.

Calm down. Calm down.

“I figured it out early on.” she added.

She heard Yuki taking a deep breath. He didn’t look at her.

Guilt.

He was about to say her name, but she was quick to stop him. “No. Don’t. Don’t apologize. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t..need to hear it. I already know you’re sorry, Yuki.”

Don’t call my name. This is already hard . If you call my name, I’m not sure if I would be able to let you go.

“Instead of saying you’re sorry… I just hope that you would treat her better. Treat her nicely. Appreciate her. Respect her. Make things work, no matter what happens.”

Yuki stayed silent, and she continued,

“I realized that it is no use holding on to you, on this relationship, when it’s obvious that your heart is clearly with someone else.”

Breathe. It is for the best. Breathe.

“And so, Ishikawa Yuki… I release you from this bond.” she spoke. Her lips formed a little smile, attempting to diffuse the heavy tension in the air. Yuki could only stare at her, wondering how could she stay cheerful despite knowing what he had done. He was amazed at how calm and level-headed she was at that moment despite the obvious pain in her voice.

“So.. you should go now. Tell her that we broke it off. Assure her, and yourself, that we ended things on good terms. And move on, Yuki. I will move on as well.” she spoke again, giving him a light push on the shoulder.

Go. Please, just go.

“I… I can’t just leave you here.” he finally spoke.

“I won’t be here all night, silly. My car is right there, and I have work tomorrow.” she chuckled.

Breathe. Breathe. Just… breathe.

Their eyes met for the last time, and with a strain in his voice, Yuki finally said, “Thank you. For everything.”

She forced a smile.

It felt like an eternity. When will this end?

She smiled, almost bitterly. “Go.” she insisted.

And he did. She watched his back as he walked away. She watched him as he got into his car. And she waved her hand lightly as he drove off.

Breathe.

However, as soon as his car was out of sight, her knees buckled, and she knelt on the the ground. Biting her hand, she tried to stifle her cry as much as she could as she could no longer stop the tears streaming down her face.

It hurts. It hurts!

Help me. Anyone. Please. It hurts..

Please stop this pain.

How did things turn out this way? What did she do wrong? What exactly went wrong? What could’ve she done better?

Did she not love him enough?

Why couldn’t he give her his heart?

What did she do wrong?

What did she---

“Hey.” a voice came from behind her and she looked up in shock.

“M…Masa?”

Masa read her tear-stained face as he knelt next to her. “He told me this afternoon that he was meeting you here tonight. I told him to come clean about the whole thing.” he spoke as he took out a handkerchief and handed it to her.

“God, you’re a mess.”

“S…shut up and let me grieve.” she managed to retort in between sobs. The tears haven’t stopped. How could they when she had held them back for so long?

“Alright, alright.” Masa calmly spoke and sat next to her on the ground. She looked at him as if he was insane.

“C..Can’t a girl cry alone?” she stifled another cry.

“In this place? Gosh, no. What if a couple comes here to have a good time and suddenly saw a girl crying on the ground? Good Lord, you’re going to scare the living daylights out of some poor souls. Have mercy on them, will you?”

She knew he didn’t mean it. She knew he meant well, judging from the hand on her shoulder that hasn’t left since he sat down.

She clicked her tongue as a joke. Words have seemed to fail her by now. She wasn’t sure what to do next. The love of her life has left her. What will she do now? How will she move on? Can she move on to begin with?

The thought alone scared her, and she found herself sobbing uncontrollably again.

“I..loved him, Masa.. but.. it wasn’t enough…”

She felt him pull her closer and she felt his hand gently guiding her head to lean on his shoulder. “Here, I’ll lend you my shoulder. The first 30 minutes is free. After that, you will be charged 500 yen per minute.”

She chuckled a little, but said nothing further. She let herself cry as much as she wanted to on his shoulder, the handkerchief was no longer of use at that point. His jacket was stained by her tears, but he made no noticeable expression of discomfort. He had been such a great friend despite his mean jokes, and she appreciated his presence next to her. She wasn’t sure what she could’ve done if Masa wasn’t there. Probably something really, really stupid and reckless.

+++

She woke up the next morning in a mess. She felt horrible, her eyes were still swollen, and her head felt unbelievably heavy.

Nevertheless, she woke up.

Just then, she received text messages. They’re from Nishida and Takahashi.

[Good morning! I heard from Masa-san that you and Yuki-san broke up. No worries! Let’s take down another boss tonight! I’ll let you curse as much as you want!]

[Mornin’! Hey, look at this silly photo of Nishida.]

She looked at the photo Takahashi sent. Yuji was getting hit by a ball while he was tying his shoelace. It was a bit blurry, but Yuji’s expression was definitely silly. She chuckled.

It turned out that Masa really didn’t waste any time to spread the news. Well, it’s better if everyone knew. It would save her from many awkward moments in the future.

And then came another text. This time, it’s from Masa.

[Oi, good morning. How are you feeling?]

She chuckled. She felt a slight warmth from the text messages.

[I feel like shit]

[Of course you do. I would be surprised if you suddenly said you’re fine, especially after what you put my jacket through last night. I found dried snot on it this morning.]

She unexpectedly laughed out loud.

[I’ll buy you another one. Sheesh.]

She managed to smile a little more.

She still wasn’t so sure how she was going to move on, but she will take the first step.

And she got up.

#i had this prompt bookmarked for so long #i am so sleepy #what even is this #help me #i can see oxygen

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eurydicees · 3 years

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Never apologize for your long thoughts and tangents!!! Those take time and I appreciate the detail you go into. I'm sorry for not being clearer in my ask, I think my sleep deprivation got to me lol; I was actually asking about your thoughts on their friend groups/skills in university bc even though they have so much more...time and space to make friends, I always wondered how many they would really make in college and esp people like Hikaru and Kyoya

all good, all good! i’m glad you enjoy because i have SO much fun writing them out, even if you and i are the only people who actually click “read more.” anyways. thoughts. i have so many. oh god. i know you said not to apologize but. this is so much. and i only covered the friend thing, i didn’t even talk about skills. i will def think on that though because i have opinions on everything. well here we go i guess:

i think one of the things i experienced in college was just a huge influx of opportunity. like. i was living with people that i saw all the time and thus became friends with them, and then friends with their friends, and then people in my classes, and people in the extracurricular projects i did-- like. there were just so many new people, and i go to a relatively small school.

all of that being said, my experiences are (a) only my own, and i don’t think that everyone does this, and (b) very, very, very american. like. the quintessential “die over college apps and then thrive in college” american experience. i’m sure that a lot of my experiences wouldn’t apply in japan (just based on what i know from other media i’ve consumed / people i’ve talked to), but some of them are pretty universal, i think.

okay all of that out of the way. i think that haruhi is going to have a very similar experience to me in that she doesn’t have a huge world outside of the hosts while at ouran, but once she gets to university, she’ll really thrive and branch out and find Her People, you know? over the course of the manga, she progressively learns to take initiative in things, as well as keep herself from burning out over that, and i think that’s something she continues to work on throughout university.

tamaki would also be able to branch out a bit, but at the end of the day, the hosts are his family. the hosts are the people he cares about. he definitely makes other friends, and definitely cares about them, but he loves the hosts. i think he has trouble prioritizing anything other than the other hosts, which makes it hard to make new friends, at first.

once he figures out that you can like. have multiple friend groups, he’s great. he also, i think, has to really accept that the other hosts are at different universities and are going to be making new friends, too, and he’s not going to be their “king” anymore. they’re all going to have to find different paths, and he has a lot of trouble accepting that for the others, even more so than he has trouble with it for himself.

kaoru does a similar thing to tamaki, i think, where he has trouble making friends only because he has trouble accepting that everyone else is also doing new things without him. especially hikaru. we see him-- in both the manga and in the anime-- have trouble with the idea that their little family is going to break up, almost to the same extent that tamaki fears it. i think that really holds him back for a while, but once he accepts that, though everyone is moving on, they all still love each other, he’ll be able to make new friends.

and oh god once he starts making friends, kaoru goes for it. he branches out wildly in university. he’s spent his whole life just sharing everything with hikaru, and once he starts trying to find out who he is apart from hikaru, he tries everything. he dyes his hair. he dresses like an e-boy. he joins a band, and then quits immediately. he wears dresses. he learns to do make up better than anyone else he knows. he takes every class he can.

he also burns out, i think, probably during his second year of trying everything new and figuring himself out. once he recovers from that lapse, where he kind of gives up on everything, he then settles down into being a person that he’s happy with. jesus christ ok there’s this really good demon-megane post that i have been trying to find for AGES that i simply cannot find, about how kaoru and hikaru are when they get to university and have to work on their codependent relationship. i think about this post every fucking day. it’s so good and it’s so relevant rn. i’m gonna go looking for it again later.

okay and this is gonna be a hot take, but i don’t think that honey and mori figure out how to make friends at university either, at least not until everyone else has graduated ouran and is off to university. in the manga, it’s honestly like they didn’t even graduate-- they go back to ouran for a lot of lunches, and they see the other hosts all of the time. i don’t think that, if they’re doing that, then they’re going to be able to make many friends at university.

but once everyone has graduated, i think that they’d be able to branch out better. as soon as they don’t have a significant fear of missing out on host club shenanigans and their old friends’ lives, they can kind of move on and find other people-- which is just. gonna be so good for them. mori, especially, would have a great time in college trying out new things without worrying about honey (mori has eldest daughter syndrome, change my mind). honey has always been popular and charismatic, and once he truly moves on from ouran emotionally, i think he’s going to have a great time making friends.

and on the other end of the spectrum, i think kyoya would be. suffering. like. he’s friendly with people, but he doesn’t have friends. he’s so focused on studying himself to death that he doesn’t have time for emotionally valuable friendships, and i don’t think he really wants them either. like i said in that last post, i think he’s pretty satisfied with what he’s got, and he’s not going to want to branch out much. also i wrote an entire fic about this lmao.

similarly, hikaru would have the worst time trying to make friends. i think that he has one of the most impressive character arcs throughout the manga, but he still has a long ways to go in terms of his social skills. and if we’re talking anime-only, hikaru has absolutely no idea how to like. be a good friend. he’s so used to just using people that it’s hard to not do that. and even then, he’s so wrapped up in the hosts that he doesn’t really know how to find other people.

side note, but i think he’d also have a lot of trouble at ouran after tamaki + kyoya graduate, because he really just doesn’t know how to find people outside of the hosts. during university, he probably has a lot of trouble figuring himself out-- what he wants to do with his life, with his career, with people. he doesn’t like. seek out clubs, and just takes random classes, and doesn’t reach out to anyone. i love him so much, but he’s definitely a mess in university. he figures it out, i think, but it does take him a hot sec. he needs a year to learn how to stop burning bridges via anger issues, and how to not rely on kaoru for the social skill aspect of a friendship, and what he actually wants to do with himself. GOD. i’m thinking about that post AGAIN. every time i think about the twins i think about that post it is KILLING me.

but in conclusion, all of the hosts miss each other so terribly during university, and they have such a rough time trying to figure out new relationships. except for haruhi, who fuckin thrives in university, except for the fact that she’s studying all of the time and doesn’t know how to manage her time. but that’s just the #college life. anyways i am SO curious to hear other people’s thoughts on this bc it’s a very very interesting question!

#ask #ohshc #ouran high school host club #ouran meta

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really-sleep-deprived-nerd · 3 years

Text

Fic writer interview

Name(s): Really-sleep-deprived-nerd, Noctugna

Fandom(s): Dsmp is the big one rn

Where you post: AO3, Tumblr

Most popular one-shot (by kudos): “There are fates worse than death”

I wrote it sleep deprived out of my mind at three am in the note app on my phone one night and posted it the next morning with little to no editing. I have no clue why it is as popular as it is.

Most Popular Multi-chap (also by kudos): “The one Field Trip Fic where Flash has a Braincell”

Field Trip Fics where Flash continues to taunt Peter despite all the proof that is presented to him that Peter actually works there always bothered me, so, one night while I was sick and couldnt sleep cause I was running a fever, I decided to try to write the type of fic I’d enjoy. I’d be more happy that so many people like it if I didn’t lowkey hate it now lmao

Favorite story you’ve written so far: “40.5- Non-threatening employee”

It’s not a particularly creative or clever story by itself, but the reason I love it so much is because I can hear Cecil narrating it when I read it. I don’t think I have ever captured the voice of a character quite as well as I did here before and Im just, really proud of that

Fic you were nervous to post: “El Rey y el As”

It is the first fic I wrote purely for myself, because I knew that very few people would be interested in it, so I was worried about how I would deal with something I put a lot of effort and love into getting zero hits or worse, people finding it and being rude in the comments. Im extremely happy that the few people that accidentally stumbled with it ended up liking it.

How do you choose your titles: I don’t. The tittle of a fic is a mystery even to me until I’m staring at the “Write a title” blank box on ao3. Whatever I write there is entirely up to the gods and it usually tends to be the tittle of the song that I was listening to while writing it.

Do you outline?

No lmao, even tho I should

Complete: There’s a Lot cause I mostly write one shots but some of my favorites that I havent mentioned yet are “Patton Heart”, “Feelings are odd”, “Behind the scenes”, and “You deserved better, we both did.”

In Progress: El Rey y el As

Coming soon: That’s entirely up to the gods

Not Started: Hope AU (Centered around one of Phil’s crows that kept Tommy company during exile and that he named Hope), Ranboo Has A Backbone AU (What it says on the title), It’s MY magical royalty sbi au and I get to CHOOSE the happy ending (Technically inspired by Passerine, not because the plot is even remotely similar, but because I wouldn’t have started to play with this idea if I that ending hadn’t made me so upset. I just want them to be happy, man)

Prompts? I rarely, if ever, have actually used prompts to write a full fic

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Ranboo has a backbone au

No pressure tags:

YOU.

#dream smp #marvel #welcome to nightvale

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booksong · 6 years

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Fic Writers Week 2017 Day 2

The Muses: Writer Prompt

Home Screen: An Add New Contact Companion

In December of 2014, I wrote Add New Contact as a gift for a Haikyuu!! Secret Santa exchange. It was my first time writing Daisuga, my first time writing a full blown AU, and it was born from me coming up with a single line nearly every commenter seems to love: ‘Do it for the hot IT guy’. I never in a million years expected it to become as popular and apparently as beloved as it is now, and I’m deeply touched and honored by the love the fandom has shown it and me. For quite a while now I’ve toyed with the idea of giving it a short sequel just to peek back in, and then the Fic Writers Week Day 2 prompt came along asking for bonus content, and I figured that was enough of a sign.

So here’s Home Screen, a little companion ficlet to Add New Contact after nearly 3 full years. I hope my readers and followers, who have been so kind, patient, and supportive of my writing, enjoy it! It is also up on AO3 if you prefer to read there.

Daichi was sitting in his 8 a.m physiology lecture, passionately regretting this particular academic choice with every fiber of his sleep-deprived being, when he saw it.

He’d reached over his notes and tapped his phone idly to check how many more minutes of Horikawa-sensei’s droning about rhomboid muscles he’d have to endure, but the moment his home screen lit up to display the time (twenty more minutes), he froze. He put his phone back down flat. Very slowly, he leaned back in his seat, tipped his head back, and pressed both his hands over his face.

It was far too early for this kind of thing.

Daichi lowered his hands to find the girl a couple seats down his row giving him a look that hovered between concerned and uncomfortable. He gave her a pained smile that was probably not particularly reassuring, but he had his own problems at the moment. He resolutely turned his phone over so the screen was facedown on the desk, and forced himself, red-faced and tight-jawed, to take notes for twenty more long, long minutes.

When Horikawa-sensei finally dismissed them, Daichi fairly shot out of his seat, tossed his bag over his shoulder, and left the lecture hall walking double-time. He cut across the courtyard, wove around a knot of dead-eyed fourth-years clutching their coffees like lifelines, and made a beeline toward the university bookstore.

Gripped in the hand not holding the strap of his bookbag was Daichi’s smartphone. It was close to brand new, just four months old—screen uncracked, battery near-full, already packed with photos, apps, and his favorite music. It had never turned off on him when he needed it, and it had never been dropped from a second story window.

But it was, in its way, still giving him technical difficulties. Clearly, he needed to see an expert.

He had just taken his foot off the last stair and down onto the smooth polished wood floor of the bookstore’s lowest level when Tsukishima looked up and caught sight of him.

Daichi had been half-hoping someone one else would be working this morning—Yamaguchi, maybe, or even the IT desk’s newest recruit, a nervous little computer science student who was apparently excellent at diagnosing software issues when she could bring herself to look the customers in the eye and form complete sentences.

The look Tsukishima gave him was much more complicated than the simple disdain he tended to visit on the student customers who came in cradling headphones with frayed wires and blue-screened laptops. It wasn’t a particularly happy look…but at least it was perhaps quietly resigned. Daichi would take what he could get.

“Sugawara-senpai,” Tsukishima said blandly, lifting his eyebrows a fraction and maintaining eye contact as Daichi approached, “It’s time for my break.”

“Hmm?” said the other tech on duty, glancing up from where his feathery-haired head was bent intently over the keyboard of a whirring laptop. “Didn’t you just finish it a few minutes ag—oh.”

Sugawara Koushi, Daichi’s boyfriend of three months, two weeks, three days and now one morning class, closed the lid of the laptop in front of him and pushed himself around in his swivel chair. He leaned against the counter of the circular desk, propping his elbows up and resting his chin casually on one hand. It was a pose very reminscient of the first time Daichi had ever seen him, and he was probably doing it on purpose.

“Good morning, sir,” Suga said in his most cheerful customer service voice, “What can we help you with today?”

There was a brief moment when Daichi, fresh off an 8 a.m lecture and a minor heart attack, considered not playing along. But Suga’s eyes were grey-brown and warm and dangerously fond, and that thought didn’t last long.

“Well, you see,” he began, stepping up and placing his new phone on the counter between them. Tsukishima wandered away and sat down heavily in another one of the desk chairs, picking up a set of expensive-looking headphones and apparently ready to tune them out entirely. “I had a lecture this morning…a very early lecture that someone assured me I would be able to handle because I was ‘such a responsible student.’ But the thing is, I missed my alarm, so I was in a bit of a rush to class and wasn’t paying much attention to my phone.”

Suga nodded, his face fixed in the expression that Daichi was convinced could have won him any customer service postion on Earth, perfectly caught between genuine interest and innocent concern. “Sure, okay. Go on,” he urged, as if he didn’t already know where this story was going.

“So when I went to check the time during the lecture, I discovered that someone has apparently figured out my password.” Daichi nudged the phone forward, tipped it toward Suga, and dramatically tapped the home button.

The phone lit up, displaying the home screen. Yesterday, the background had been a stock photo of a mountain meadow, all waving grass and almost clinically distributed wildflowers.

Today, it was not.

Daichi knew exactly when Suga had taken the photo—about two weeks ago they’d had a movie marathon in Daichi’s room where they’d alternated picking titles, resulting in everything from a really emotional indie film to a hilariously bad horror flick to a documentary about the Olympics. It had been probably the most fun Daichi had ever had watching movies with anyone, although over the past couple months he’d discovered that was true of a lot of things done in Suga’s company.

Sometime during the fourth movie Daichi had started to fade. Leaning against Suga had been a thoughtless thing—first just their shoulders and arms touching, and then drowsily listing against him as his muscles relaxed further toward sleep.

And then Suga had simply made it into the most natural thing in the world by draping his arm around Daichi’s shoulders and tucking his head in the dip between Daichi’s shoulder and chest, like it was nothing. His hair smelled nice, like mint or coconut or something not fruity but still sweetish and pleasant.

Sometimes Daichi couldn’t believe this new chapter in his college life was real. Cuddling still felt like a revelation.

He didn’t remember falling asleep, of course, but he’d woken up a few minutes later to walk Suga back to his dorm one block over, still apologizing for being the one to drift off and end their movie session. It hadn’t occurred to him that anything had happened in the interim until he’d found the photo saved in his phone album.

Suga had taken it with the arm not wrapped around Daichi, who was practically nuzzling him, face half-buried in his temple. It was not a flattering photo of him, but Suga’s smile into the camera was sleepy-warm and fond, and Daichi thought he might have been smiling a little himself in his sleep. It was an honest kind of picture, maybe more so than the handful of couple selfies they’d taken so far. So Daichi had kept it.

And maybe pulled it up to gaze at more often that he wanted to admit.

But he’d never expected to have it as his background. That felt so public, so startling, like suddenly finding a poster that was hanging in your bedroom had been taped to your chest. It wasn’t that Daichi regretted or wanted to hide anything about Suga or their relationship, it was just that he hadn’t expected to be confronted with exactly how embarrassingly sappy Suga made him feel at 8 o’clock in the morning in the middle of a hundred of his peers.

“I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid don’t see your problem,” said Suga now, apologetically, his grin finally threatening to overtake his playfully professional demeanor. He flipped the phone so it was facing him and pretended to frown assessingly at the photo. “It’s a great picture. If you don’t mind me saying so, sir, you look absolutely adorable when you’re asleep.”

“Suga.” Somehow Daichi was finding himself smiling too, although now he didn’t know why he’d thought he could genuinely find a way scold Suga about this. It was fine when he rehearsed it in his head, but being face-to-face with his boyfriend tended to make conversations he’d planned out ahead of time evaporate.

In that way, not much had changed since their technologically disastrous but ultimately effective courtship.

“Daichi, your stock wallpaper was boring,” Suga insisted.

“How did you even get into my phone?” Daichi shot back, unable to think of a good response to that—honestly he’d barely given his phone home screen a thought before today. “Did you use some hacking trick you learned here?”

“Your passcode is your birthday, which you told me on our third date. I don’t need to hack your phone.” Suga looked amused. He stretched idly, which always made his employee polo shirt pull taut in various and pleasing ways across his arms, chest, and shoulders. It was an extremely unfair tactic, especially since Suga now knew that Daichi had feelings about the polo and how he looked in it.

Daichi sighed, any residual exasperation deflated, and picked his phone back up to take another look at the photo. Now that he wasn’t surprised and surrounded by classmates, he could appreciate the flush of warmth seeing it there made him feel. He found himself smiling at it again, the way he had in private, at the way they curved into each other, already so easy and comfortable.

“You do like it then,” Suga said, his expression and tone both softening. “I was a little worried I’d overstepped again and you really were upset with me.”

“Considering if you hadn’t ‘overstepped’ the first time we might not be dating right now, I think I can forgive you.” Daichi checked to make sure Tsukishima was deeply engrossed in his music and homework and that there were no other students in the area before he leaned across the counter and kissed Suga briefly. Another thing he still couldn’t quite believe he could do anytime he wanted.

“Does that mean you’ll keep it?” Suga asked when Daichi drew back.

Daichi pretended to think hard, and Suga laughed and took his free hand over the counter, lacing their fingers together and stroking his thumb over Daichi’s wrist until he almost really did forget what he was pretending to ponder.

“I’ll keep it. Until we take a better one, where I’m awake,” he said finally.

“I’m not sure that’s possible when you look that good asleep,” said Suga very seriously, and though his eyes had a teasing twinkle, Daichi got the feeling he wasn’t entirely kidding, and it made his cheeks and ears burn.

“Oh! I almost forgot—for the responsible student who made it through another 8 a.m. lecture.” Suga went back around the counter and picked up a black and white paper cup stamped with the silhouette of a crow perched on the rim of a mug. The lid was stoppered, so when Suga set it in front of Daichi and took the top off, a cloud of wonderful, cocoa-scented steam rose right into his face.

“You’re amazing,” Daichi half-moaned, inhaling deeply.

“I had them put a shot of espresso in it, to get you through the rest of the day.”

Daichi took a careful sip before leaning back over the counter to kiss Suga again, a little longer this time. “I’m so glad I broke my old phone for you,” he murmured, tucking an escaped piece of Suga’s silvery hair back behind his ear. They weren’t at the ‘I love you’ stage yet, but the statement was rapidly becoming something Daichi thought of as a stand-in for it, a fervent expression of just how thrilled he was that their unorthodox journey of pining, flirting, and reckless electronic endangerment had somehow worked out after all.

“What time is your next class again?” Suga asked, bringing him back to the reality of the school day.

“Noon—I have some free time.” Daichi took another slow drink of the caffeine-spiked hot chocolate.

“Keep me company?” asked Suga, as they’d both known he was going to. “Monday mornings are always slow.”

“Tsukishima will give us dirty looks.”

“Let him,” said Suga breezily, shooting his younger coworker a glance. “Yamaguchi-kun starts in an hour, he’ll mellow out then.”

Daichi couldn’t come behind the desk, but Suga let him have one of their comfortable wheeled chairs to pull up to the outside of the counter, so he could sip his drink and talk to Suga as he went back to work on the laptop someone had brought in the previous day.

It would have felt impossible to him, just a few months earlier, that this could be his life. Even as he’d been making a total fool out of himself for the chance to talk to Suga again, there had been a part of his brain insisting that this could only last so long, that he was wasting his time. Now he needed no such excuses to visit the IT help desk, although he had kind of had one this morning.

Daichi reached out and tilted his phone towards himself, half-listening as Suga told him about the latest victim Nishinoya had pointed their way, a devastated freshman with a brand new Christmas gift smartphone like Daichi’s that had gotten left in a pocket and washed. He glanced from Suga’s animated face as he dimpled at the memory of the student tearing up with relief and gratitude when offered the rice treatment, to the Suga in the photo on his home screen with an arm around him and his face fondly gazing into the camera as if to say how lucky he was.

His phone had helped him find Suga, and now it could remind him whenever he looked at it that sometimes, even impossible, foolish things could still go right.

Daichi was definitely keeping his new home screen photo. Maybe even after they took a new one.

#my fic #add new contact #daisuga #haikyuu #ficwritersweek #day 2 #writer prompt #sorry it took me so long everyone!#I hope you have as much fun revisiting them as I did

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