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breakfastteatime · 1 year

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Alrighty friends, here we go, Breakfast Tea's Battle Scars Review. Putting it under the cut because spoilers, and also my levels of spiciness are at maximum. Lots of swears ahead! I don't tend to write book reviews (hi, unpublished author over here) but, uh, this is for science!

For the record, I have NO IDEA how these tie-ins are commissioned. So, for example, I don’t know if the author came up with the plot and it was okayed, or if she was told “do something with A, B, C and D and make it a book” so I appreciate that she probably didn’t have as much freedom as a fic writer.

Also, yes, I did get to the point where I was skimming chunks of the book, so if I'm factually wrong, feel free to correct me, but know that it won't make me like the book any better because my issues are layered and numerous👍

Also also, this is pretty stream-of-consciousy so go with me, okay?

Finally, there’s *one* spoiler that I’m guessing will tie into the game re: Greez.

Okay, let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Plot Summary (warning, I haven't done a good job summarising it hahahahahahahaaa)

The plot is - the crew go to break into a Haxion Brood base because reasons. While they're there they find a bunch of stormtroopers, one of whom is actually Fret, who wants to defect because she's sick of the Empire. Merrin is instantly attracted to her which, okay, sure, fine, to the point of becoming completely giddy around her. Also, Merrin's been struggling with her powers because of all her trauma from Dathomir (a very good a legit reason but, uh, didn't we do that with Cal in the game ANYWAY AHEM) but DON'T WORRY, SHE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE SEX WITH THE RIGHT PURPLE LADY BECAUSE SHE’S ANGRY AT THE EMPIRE TOO AND SEX WILL SOLVE ALL OF MERRIN’S WOES AND LITERALLY ALLOWS HER TO ACCESS HER MAGICK AGAIN WOO! Oops, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fret then reveals she's not actually a stormtrooper but used that as a disguise to escape because don't you know it, she's got intel that will lead them to something called the Shroud, which will essentially make anyone who has it invisible. Think cloaking technology from Star Trek. That's the best comparison. So, if the rebels have this, they'll be able to undertake sneak attacks, but if the Empire has it, BAD NEWS. ANYWAY, the crew go to the person Fret’s working with who claims he’s anti-Empire too and he’ll use the Shroud for good and everyone agrees they’ll go get the schematics and bring them to him. Off they go and find said Shroud schematics after Merrin totally gets her powers back after receiving some sexual healing (no, really), only to discover the Shroud’s schematics aren’t written down but are instead secure in Fret's oops-not-dead lizard girlfriend Irei's head... and she's vaguely Force-sensitive because OF COURSE SHE FUCKING IS. Oh and the Fifth Brother is here too because he naturally wants the Shroud and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Mantis crew are all totally at odds with each other because it turns out despite living and working together for years they’re all after totally different things but have never said anything until now, which would be interesting if Fret wasn't there being all self-insert OC. And anyway, don't worry, the crew gets over it. Oh, and Greez loses an arm protecting Cal and Cere from the Fifth Brother about halfway through.

Uuuuh what else….??? Oh! Right, Fret’s dealer dude. They realise he’s bad, they defeat him. Boom. Can’t be arsed to go into more detail than that (also I was totally falling asleep reading this part, my bad???).

Fret and her ex(?) get back together (kinda??), leave the Mantis after the whole Shroud thing and the Fifth Brother are dealt with, Merrin opts to not go with them and Fret’s like “Oh, yeah, I see what you have with Cal” and Merrin’s like “??? Cal’s like that with everyone.” Interpret that at your discretion.

OH OH OH and Cere totally goes off to find some Jedi circlet thing that is LITERALLY A VIDEOGAME ACCESSORY USED TO BOOST STATS which is (unintentionally??) hilarious but fuck that it’s so completely lost in the rest of it, as is a lot of Cere’s desire to create a legacy for the Jedi.

The Good!

Hooray for LGBTQ+ representation!

Fight scenes are good when the action is happening.

Cere's characterisation is okay???? Like out of all of them, she feels the most in character... kind of???????? I get her motivation, and it feels fairly close to what I think she's gonna be up to in the next game. But her decision to… wait… sorry, this was meant to be positive. ARGH! Alright, let’s move on…

I really like the concept that, since the end of the first game, they’ve all been on the run from the Empire and the Haxion Brood. Excellent concept! I’m guessing Survivor will give us more.

I also really like the concept that the crew all want different things.

SPOILER!!! Greez loses an arm. This scene was pretty good and believable – Greez wants to save Cal and Cere and he makes a terrible sacrifice to do so.

The Everything Else

👎 Wish that LGBTQ+ rep was in a better written book. I do read romance sometimes (or, more accurately, books in which romance occurs) and I am not opposed to instant attraction. But I like it to be a bit less fire-hose-of-HAWTNESS to the face. It basically feels that Merrin has a week-long relationship with someone in which sex solves all her problems??? There's a lot of stuff in this book about why Merrin can't go to her actual friends with this (she's a Nightsister, dammit, and no one can understand how she feels but Fret is angry like Merrin is, therefore instacrush, lust, sex and AAAAARGH), but wouldn’t it be much more narratively satisfying if the people who support her through her troubles are the ones she has long-term relationships with??? Near the end Cal does become this person to her but it feels a bit awkward. Almost like he’s stepping up because Fret left. 👎 Merrin’s struggles here, while absolutely understandable, feel like a rehash of Cal’s entire journey in the game… except Cal sorts his shit out one way, and Merrin shags her way to better mental health. I mean, get yours, Merrin, but it feels like an odd choice, because… 👎 Fret, Merrin's love interest, feels like such an author self-insert it actually made me uncomfortable. Lady, I don't wanna read your fantasies!!!

👎 The plot doesn’t have room to breathe because there’s too much going on. And while I’m here, the Shroud feels completely universe breaking because while the prototype they wind up making is a fake and becomes a bomb, the fact that Irei designed it to hide herself (she’s Force sensitive, remember??!?!?!) means it could potentially work and literally change the Star Wars universe... But Irei’s a total non-entity in the rest of canon sooooooooo this universe breaking macguffin is pointless, making the plot largely pointless??? Or did I miss something when I got to the skimming part? WHATEVER. The Shroud thing… Aaaah, I’ll get back to that later… 👎 There’s too much authorial voice masquerading as the characters. In other words, I didn’t hear the characters, I just heard the author coming through loud and clear. (and okay, yeah, every time I have a character suddenly be British makes me guilty of this too BUT I like to think it’s not as bad as this. HEY! LET ME HAVE MY DELUSIONS ALRIGHT?!). For example, Cal goes off on this whole *thing* about the Fifth Brother's hat, which doesn't feel like him at all. At no point in the game did he go off about Trilla’s helmet (which he compares the Fifth Brother’s hat to) or trade really petty insults. He has his whole bravado thing going on, but not “dude, your hat looks STOOPID.” Seriously, it’s about a page of him being uncharacteristically cocky and sassy (more on Cal’s characterisation later). This authorial voice tendency makes everyone feel the same, especially when you’ll read one thing in Cal’s POV, move onto Greez’s, and Greez will think the exact same thing. There’s very little differentiation in character voice. The banter is BAD. 👎I'm not saying JFO isn't funny because it has some lovely moments (“Wait, do you have feet?”), but they are light touches. This book's 'humour' is like having an anvil dropped on your head. This is the book where subtly came to die until the VERY end where there’s some nice moments with Cal and Merrin… except it’s ruined by Cal CONSTANTLY thinking about how he needs to protect his family… Which brings me onto… 👎 This book is so repetitive. If Cal referred to the others as 'Family' one more time, or someone else said they wanted to make a dent in the Empire’s hull, I'm not sure my e-reader would've survived. I actually counted btw – pg 77 of my ebook edition has the word family on it 7 times. SEVEN TIMES. The word crops up 39 times overall and once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. The phrase ‘making a dent’ appears 9 times and again, once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. Oh editor, where are you?

👎 It’s also inconsistent in its storytelling. For instance, there’s a moment where Merrin and Cere go off on a mission together and Merrin reflects on how well they always work together… and then later on she goes off with Fret and is like “It’s so nice to not be alone for a change!!!” And while this is probably in reference to how her and Cal tend to approach missions from different angles (literally – above and below), it’s one of those instances where something here needed editing – e.g. actually Merrin and Cere have never done a mission together, therefore that’s nice, and so when she goes off with Fret she can be like “wow, twice in one day! I could get used to this!” It’s shit like that made the whole thing so frustrating. 👎The structure is bad. Midway through an otherwise good action scene, the POV character will stop to think for so long they would have been killed. It really disrupts the flow of the battle. The pacing just screeches to a halt. It’s the same whenever the characters reminisce on the events of the game, but I’ll come back to that. Stick a pin in it! 👎 The book also does a several days later flashback that wrecks the pacing. We’re at this moment of tension – they’re about to break into a compound but oh no – the access codes from Merrin’s girlfriend don’t work because GASP she lied about abandoning the Empire! Cue tension! Cue drama! Cue… romance in a ‘several days earlier’ flashback. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Honestly, poor, poor Cal the first time he gets to use his own room again. Echoes EVERYWHERE. He’s gonna go as red as his hair every time he looks at Merrin and everyone’s gonna get the wrong idea. Sorry, what was my point? OH RIGHT! Pacing! Pacing BAD.

👎 BEEDEE WUN. Get. In. the. Fucking. Bin. 👎 Speaking of our beloved BD, he is here, but he's referred to as 'Cal's droid' or Cal is referred to as his master, which... no. Absofuckinglutely NO. At one point, Merrin (who presumably has known BD for 2-3 years at this point), thinks of BD as Cal’s ‘strange but cute little droid’. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! They are friends. Best friends. Cere, when thinking of the crew, her family, states there are "four and a half people" on the crew. BD IS NOT HALF A PERSON, AND ALSO OH GOD THE HISTORICAL CONNOTATIONS OF THIS ARE SO BAD, HOW THE HELL DID AN EDITOR NOT PICK UP ON THIS?!?!?!?

👎Cal's characterisation is NOT good. He is so inconsistent outside of I MUST PROTECT MY FAMILY. MY FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, WHO ARE MY FAMILY. I WILL DIE TO PROTECT THEM, MY FAMILY, THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT TO ME THAT I LOVE, THE MANTIS CREW. Which, for the record, works as a motivator for him, but not when it’s done with all the nuance of a sledgehammer to the knees. When Merrin's busy having sex in the engine room (you know, where Cal sleeps, the guy with psychometry), he is initially naive to the point of stupidity. “Oh golly gosh, Merrin’s sealed the door, I guess that means her powers are coming back!” He was on Bracca for 5 years. I think he knows what goes on behind closed doors. When he realises what's happened, he is both totally blasé (the Jedi don’t have relationships so he’s never thought about it), and also jealous in a way that can be interpreted in one of two ways, depending on your shipping leanings. He's either jealous because Merrin is HIS woman (oh, no, sorry, I mean GIRL. Fucking HATE it when adult women are called girl), or he's jealous because Fret is inserting herself into HIS FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, THE FAMILY HE WILL DIE FOR when she’s a lying liar who lies. He’s *so* petty he refers to Fret as a ‘gal’ which, again, UUUUUUUUUUUGH. Oh, and he's seen an echo revealing Fret to be a liar, but he's not going to disclose it to the others because he doesn’t want to hurt Merrin when she’s finally happy and able to use her magick again and yet Fret might be about to kill his family, the crew of the Mantis, the people Cal will literally die for. Because they’re his family. PICK A MOOD, CAL. Actually, wait, I’m not done with what’s been done to Cal…

His characterisation makes me want to weep. He gets annoyed with Cere for wanting to find a Jedi relic despite... the entire... first game... being... about... this... exact... thing????? I think the author was going for “well, Cere wants to create a legacy for the Jedi so their history is not lost to time!” whereas Cal wants to (say it with me!) ‘put a dent in the Empire’s hull’ which, okay, there’s an interesting contrast, but Cal is someone who is inherently linked with the past so why is *this* the conflict between these two? It’s not quite working for me, probably because it’s just not central enough to the plot. If *this* was what we dug into, it would probably work really well. Unfortunately, we’re not here for that.

Cal also says shit like “What’s the problem here, team?” like he’s in middle management.

👎 The book is set somewhere between the two games and is purposefully vague, which *would* work if these characters *felt* like they'd spent years together instead of the author telling us they have. Relationship-wise, it feels like we're maybe a couple of months out from the game because the book wastes so much of its word count going back over events from the game… which happened years ago at this point! My guess is it was written with people who hadn't played the game in mind, which again just makes the pacing suffer. Plus, we’ve got five people who’ve lived together for years (they’re a family, a crew, they love each other like family, they will DIE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!!), and yet all of them see their mission differently. Y’all have been at this for YEARS but it’s only now that you realise you’re not united?! This would work if we were closer in time to the original game… but years down the line?! And again, this is a GREAT concept! SO much to work with there… except we’ve got sexy purple lady and lizard lady in the way of what could’ve been an amazing character exploration of CHARACTERS WE KNOW AND LOVE. STICK ANOTHER PIN IN IT!

👎 The author struggles to integrate game mechanics into a n ovel. BD-1 will just randomly hand Cal stims because hey, I guess that’s what he does in the game????????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 👎 The author hasn’t heard of show, don’t tell. Stop bloody telling me that Cal loves his family and show me – give me a scene where they sit down for a meal together. Give me a scene where Cal sits with Greez after he’s injured. ANYTHING that shows me rather than smashes me over the head with one of the 39 uses of the word family.

👎 Cere really randomly refers to Cal as her Padawan when he’s busy getting his arse handed to him by the Fifth Brother. Cal’s honest, he knows he didn’t beat Trilla because he was stronger than her, but this is YEARS later. Has he not gotten stronger in that time? SIGH. Also, Cal might be mentored by her but he’s not strictly speaking her Padawan? Okay, now I’m just nitpicking… 👎 WAIT, ONE MORE! Cal refers to Master Tapal as Master Jaro. That just irritated me.

How I’d Rewrite It

So, let’s take the pin out and examine the lack of character exploration (except for Merrin who we do get to have a good look at in a weird way). The main issue I have with this book is Fret and Irei get in the way of what could have been a really good character-building piece for the five characters we know and love from the game.

So, wanna know how I’d write it? Simplify and FOCUS:

The Mantis crew are infiltrating a Haxion Brood base because they’ve gotten their hands on a precious Jedi relic that the Empire are also after. While there, Cal and the others find the relic but are attacked by the Brood and the Empire. A defector (Fret) finds them and says the Empire is using the Fifth Brother to hunt for the Shroud’s schematics and its inventor (Irei), who’s in hiding. Fret gives them the name and location of the broker who will pay the crew for retrieving the Shroud and Irei – a man linked to the Rebellion known as Luthen Rael. He’ll also give them Irei’s location. While trying to escape, Fret gets shot and killed by the Brood or the Empire or WHATEVER and the crew feel somewhat obligated to carry on with her mission because the Shroud is a double-edged sword. Cere’s hopes of starting her great Jedi legacy have to be put on hold, Merrin’s still worried about her powers because she’s lost and doesn’t know if she’s getting the vengeance she seeks, Greez thinks finally Cal’s going to stop going for bigger and bigger gambles, Cal’s excited to be doing something really important, and BD-1 is happy to see a new world and meet new people. Also, there’s no breaking into anywhere without him, and they need to move fast.

Great, we’ve got our ticking clock – get the Shroud before the Fifth Brother!

However, because the crew’s been run ragged due to being hunted by the Brood for so long, they’re starting to make mistakes and Cal’s taking bigger and bigger risks with little pay out, so the crew goes into the mission at odds with each other. After BD hacks his way into the systems and locates Irei, Merrin gets her to safety. Cal and Greez get hurt when they go up against the Fifth Brother because Cere, convinced she needs to try and save him from the dark side because he too was once a Jedi like Trilla, tries to save him and it backfires horribly. They all manage to escape and get to the Mantis, fall out because they all want different things. They take the time needed to figure that out and reunite, take Irei to Luthen (they get out just in time when the Fifth Brother comes back again), Cal and Merrin fight him off together because Merrin’s got her powers back because she has a purpose again (working for the Rebellion) and off they go to the next adventure.

Your subplots are essentially the same:

Cal wants to stick it to the Empire and help as many people as he can, while keeping his family safe, however he needs to understand that doing this randomly is essentially pointless (which… okay, I have issues with this too but if I go off on that you’re never getting the next chapter of the Big Fic. I’m working with what I got, friends!!!)

BD-1 is just happy to go wherever Cal goes so long as he gets to scan new stuff and slice new systems!

Cere wants to build and protect the Jedi’s legacy by gathering everything she can of their history. She *is* tiring of the seemingly hopeless battle against the Empire and *wants* to put down roots, and she *needs* to be honest with Cal about this (who, once he got over his “you can’t leave me, Cere!” initial reaction would be absolutely fine with this??? HEY, WORKING WITH WHAT I’VE GOT!)

Merrin wants to regain her powers, and she needs to come to terms with the terrible trauma she experienced, but she can do this not through what is ultimately a fling, but by being honest with Cal, Cere, Greez and BD and working through it with her family. You tie it into the plot by having them working for the Rebellion, which means Merrin finally feels a purpose because it’s through the rebels she sees that she’s not the only one who suffered great loss and, like them, she can do something about it. And hey, maybe she hooks up with Irei in a much subtler and less SEXUAL HEAAAAAAAAAAAALING way because she wants to.

Greez wants to stick with his family, but he needs to be honest with Cal and say if they’re going to keep doing this whole kicking it to the Brood and the Empire, they’ve got to be smarter about it.

Basically, by cutting out all the OC bullshit, you focus on the crew we all know and love from Fallen Order without some rando OC being there to FLY THE MANTIS. Get the FUCK out of there! If I didn’t think Fret was a self-insert before, her getting to fly the Mantis sealed it for me.

There is a GOOD CONCEPT buried in the depths of this book. It’s just, y’know, not to my taste.

Alright, I think that does it for now. PHEW! That feels better ^_^

#battle scars spoilers #the spice must flow

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khronysus · 1 year

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The Magnus Archives SCP AU

This has been in my drafts for over two years. There was a point where this au was not buzzing around in my mind and I lived in blissful peace. but the circle of stupidity is complete so woe tma scp au upon ye.

(As a disclaimer: I am more of a casual fan of SCP so sorry for any like,, stuff that seems out of wack in regards to SCP lore. Also I recently watched a video on the Ouroboros cycle so I’m drawing a lot of inspo from it. This is just a cleaned up version of rambling I did at 12am on Discord so. If stuff seems to jump around that’s why lmao) (Future aside: fun fact I only just read the entirety of the Ouroboros cycle this past year lmao)

Elias is O5-1, “The Founder”, and is, himself, an anomaly since he also does the body hopping stuff like canon. As an O5 member, no one can really do anything about it.

Gertrude was the previous Site Director of Site-14 (I just chose this number bc it’s the only number i can think of tied to TMA (14 fears) and I don’t know enough about SCP to know if it’s a significant site in any prominent SCP lore so if it is. oops.) and, alongside her site director duties, she was working with the Global Occult Coalition looking into the possible SCP status of some of the O5s but surprise, surprise, her post is found covered in her blood so she’s declared dead (despite no body ever being found). At this discovery, one Jonathan Sims is appointed as the new site director of Site-14, despite most likely not being the most qualified for the job, but O5-1 said so and you can’t really argue with the O5 council...

Site-14 probably specializes in reality benders and Euclid entities. Including SCP-[redacted] “Web Table”, SCP-[redacted] “Orsinov’s Doll”, and a couple artifacts connected to The Church of the Broken God. (Future aside: I have since changed SIte-14 to be more of an archival site that also happens to have some spill over safe class anomalies & a couple cooperative type greens (read: Khro likes some avatars and wants them kicking around the SIte). Oh also I have actual numbers for anomalies now but. Don’t feel like putting them here)

Sasha is the lead researcher on “Web Table” and most likely specializes in cases related to [GOI that’s the equivalent to The Web] and Dr. Wondertainment (by extension probably The Factory as well). I chose these bc of Sasha’s connection to the web table in canon and, since she’s literally researching it in this AU, it just makes sense if she were already knowledgeable of these groups when she was placed as head researcher (though it wouldn’t be surprising if O5-1 put her on the case with 0 knowledge just to have some Fun). (Future aside: I forgot entirely that I did this with Sasha. Her role is slightly different now. But this is interesting so I’ll let it float around here)

Tim specializes mostly in things related to Herman Fuller’s Circus of the Disquieting (which for this AU just. consumed The Circus of the Other. Either they’re one in the same or they work together but all of Orsinov’s troupe is being shoved into this GOI) (Future aside: I know nothing about this GOI still so any writing I do about it is probably just gonna make it The Circus of the Other lmao). Tim may be lead researcher on “Orsinov’s Doll” (who is Nikola) or Nikola may still be out and about with the circus. Tim is the newest member of everyone to the entire foundation, having only been recruited in 2012 at the earliest. So it probably doesn’t make sense for him to already be a lead researcher on something with so little experience with the Foundation as a whole but... let’s just say O5-1 is having Fun. (Future aside: Tim is not the newest recruit anymore. That’s all you’re getting out of me for now)

Martin specializes in anomalies connected to The Church of the Broken God (since I see TCotBG as being something like what a cult/group connected to The Extinction would be like) and he researches and tracks what the church is doing and such. I’m still not entirely sure why he would be recruited by the Foundation if his canon backstory is kept more or less the same

Hi, future Khro again: I am currently writing a fic for this so. a heem heem. Anyway, as past me said at the beginning, this is just cleaned up ramblings. I’ve been thinking about it & writing a lot more recently so things have changed but I thought it would be a good idea to post this draft bc. It’s been haunting me. for two years. so enjoy <3 (also the tags are all from when i originally wrote this but i still think theyre interesting concepts i may expand upon at a later time)

#the magnus archives #tma #scp #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #timothy stoker #tim stoker #sasha james #martin blackwood #gertrude robinson #tma scp au #i also had an alternate version where tim sasha and jon are field agents looking for anartists #martin georgie and melanie are all anartists apart of the same group (either AWCY? or a specific one for the au)#hee yawing

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berestweys · 2 years

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Kinnporsche Rewatch - Episode 13

Summary: Local family’s burnt offering leads to zombie resurrection.

Favorite Line: “I was blinded by the adults, just like you.”

Porsche’s Wacky Antics: Calls Korn Dad (???? wtf). Climbs Kinn like a tree when Pete returns because he’s scared Pete’s a ghost. Carefully pokes at Pete to make sure he is real. Punches Vegas once for Tawan, and once for Pete. Makes Porchay pack up and leave the Main Family house. Again.

Why is Chay crying? He blocks Kim: best decision he’s made in a while.

Woe is Big: Oh Danny Booooy, the pipes, the pipes are caaallling… Pete’s getting a funeral and he’s not even dead! Poor Big.

Tankhun Highlight: He’s checked, and Pete DID NOT GO HOME, YOU SHITHEADS. He sends Arm, Pol, and Yok to keep Pete company in the afterlife. He’d go himself but he’s busy. Hugs Pete even though he thinks he’s a zombie. Tries to go after Porsche and Porchay because they’re Baby Brothers now, & Tankhun is the greatest man alive.

A Woman Speaks: The cardboard Yok doll smiles but says nothing.

What’s Pete eating, and who prepared it for him? Vegas lovingly prepares Khua Kling & Moo Hong for him, but he doesn’t get to eat it because Gun ruins everything. Vegas brings Pete noodles again instead, because he’s still gotta feed Pete even if it’s not what he’d planned to give him (hmmmm). The noodles end up on the floor because the two of them are at an impasse, and no one eats. Later, Vegas prepares TWO servings of food, hoping Pete will come back. But he doesn’t and Vegas is abandoned again. Pete’s got noodles but how can he eat by himself, unfettered and unkept? How can he look after himself now when he’s had a taste of being held, being fed?

Vegas Report: He’s a happy boy! Just watching cooking shows and making a special treat for his chained-up-boo. He coughs at the spice coming off the pan and I’m having visions of the future when they visit Grandma and Vegas’ head explodes from the spice in her cooking. Gods damnit here’s Gun again to remind Vegas of his place, and according to him it’s not in the kitchen (WRONG). Vegas is stupid just like his mom and shouldn’t be Gun’s son at all. Gun is a one trick pony and has too few holes in his head. Vegas tries to stand up to him for the first time ever and I am proud of him, until it leads to threatening Pete. Vegas that is not an effective wooing strategy. Later he joins forces with Porsche, and once again, if we are granted a second season I expect the two of them to spare no action to dismantle the entire organization down to the foundations. (What other choice do they have? Neither of them will be willingly subject to Korn.) ANYWAY. All he wants from Porsche in return is a chance to talk to Pete. He’s wearing green when he and Porsche go to meet Thee. I am pleased.

Shipping Activities

KinnPorsche: They’re back at the compound and great news: they’re letting go of the past and starting over. Kinn is very excited and Porsche is visibly uncomfy. Cigarette euphemisms. Kinn can tell something is up but Porsche won’t talk to him. They visit Porsche’s parents’ grave and dish out their embarrassing dating stories. Later when they’re in The Pool, I’m reminded of the absolutely electric way they kiss and touch each other, how they cling to each other. For real they are so great together. Porsche knows it’s a goodbye, even if a temporary one, but he’s got to go find answers.

VegasPete: They’re holding hands but Pete is back in handcuffs & it feels like such a defeat to me. Don’t call Pete good, Vegas – being good doesn’t matter. Embracing who you are and living it is what matters. When Vegas calls him a fool, Pete pulls away. Vegas snuggles in closer so he can touch Pete’s face and coax him back. But. Pete’s trying to convince himself he doesn’t feel what he’s feeling for Vegas, touching where his earlier wounds are still healing. Slaps himself just like he stopped Vegas from doing before. He’s trapped, and so is Vegas. Pete knows what being free feels like now, and Vegas putting the chains back on him after what they shared – it’s the last straw. After Gun reminds Vegas of his place, Vegas tries to put Pete back in a place not of his choosing. If Pete doesn’t get to decide, if he’s not an equal here, then he will not do this. Death is better than not being real. He’s hollow, empty, he doesn’t exist. He’s fucking heartbroken. And that does it. Vegas is sorry! He gives up, Pete, he gives up, and he’s sorry! But sorry fixes nothing. Vegas doesn’t know how to deserve this fragile thing between them on his own merits. GOD, THE FACE TOUCHING. Pete’s sorry too. But that’s it. Once Pete is back at the Main Family house he puts his smile back on. It doesn’t slide into place very easily now. Vegas offers Pete a light at Yok’s bar, an echo of the same with Porsche. Except this time he’s not playing, and they’re both too devastated to even stand up. Pete sobs in his arms, reaches for Vegas’ face, they press their foreheads together and I CANNOT HANDLE IT. Vegas is sorry, he’s sorry and he wants it to matter. Pete can’t hurt him and Vegas absolutely knows why. They’re two jagged halves of a whole but they haven’t figured out how to make themselves fit in a way that won’t damage. Will I scream from here to eternity? Seems inevitable. I am out of wit and pithy comments. I am a mess, a puddle, a goop.

Do I care about KimChay yet? No. Kim’s wearing a shirt that says ‘human’ just so we have a solid reminder, & he’s reminiscing over pictures & memories while Chay is being the grownup in this situation.

# of KimChay scenes in this episode: 1

# of KimChay scenes I watched without skipping through: 1

Kisses: Vegas and Pete at various heart-wrenching moments I’m still crying over and will be for the foreseeable future. Kinn and Porsche cheek kisses at the Kittisawat parents’ grave & lots of kissing in the pool.

Tits Out: Kinn and Porsche in the infinity pool, fucking for everyone in the mortgage department of Deutche Bank to witness.

What’s Gun wearing? Tan & red plaid suit, red/possibly purple patterned shirt, cream/gold/black & white striped scarf, & his favorite dark loafers.

Serious Observations of Various Sorts: Pete’s hand injuries from grabbing Vegas’ knife miraculously heal by nightfall & it’s the one thing on this show I cannot immediately brush off & let go. Hand injuries are serious! He bled all over his shirt! He doesn’t even have a bandaid. Tong is the finest actor in history; Pete’s funeral is even funnier the second time watching.

Have I calmed down? I am sobbing into my tea. I am howling like a banshee.

Episode 1/ Episode 2/ Episode 3/ Episode 4/ Episode 5/ Episode 6/ Episode 7/ Episode 8/ Episode 9/ Episode 10/ Episode 11/ Episode 12/ Episode 14

#kinnporsche rewatch #kinnporsche #spoilers

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unhingedhearties · 4 months

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This Is Exhausting And Depressing

I had to take a break from archiving the unhinged behavior of When Calls The Heart fans. Some of this stuff, especially archiving TeamE83Liz/UnlovedHeartie’s stuff, just wears you down. She’s been posting several times a day, but it’s the same disgusting behavior. Call Erin a whore, call Ben something dehumanizing, get pissed that Erin owns a dog, bitch about her being too private then bitch about her posting photos of friends and loved ones instead of LARPing as a character she plays, cry about how she’s ruined your life because she didn’t pretend marry the handsome man on TV. I really think we’re witnessing the beginning stages of behavior that’s going to lead to something dangerous, but there isn’t anything that can be done to stop it. I think at this point the only course of action is to archive it so that in case it gets deleted it’s never sent to the realm of “that never happened” and hope it doesn’t escalate.

Let’s try and get through some of these posts.

No Liz, actors are not “the MOST richest people on Earth”. Some are very rich, but most aren’t actually living in mansions the size of small towns. I have a feeling that goes double for the actors that mostly stick with Hallmark. Ben Rosenbaum is a fine actor and he seems like a sweetheart, but let’s be honest here. The man has less imdb credits than fingers. I don’t think he’s rolling in $$$. Erin’s an Executive Producer, but she also lives in one of, if not the most, expensive cities in America. These two probably live comfortably (as in they aren’t panicking over bills every month and can afford to take a vacation once a year) but I doubt they’re sleeping on gold pillows.

This is like a child’s understanding of the world.

Actor’s love it when you don’t think of them as real people.

Bae, wake up. New conspiracy theory dropped. Erin has a second, super secret Instagram account just for friends and family. How selfish. Or rather, how “disgustingly, annoyingly, irritatingly” selfish. Doesn’t she know the fans are entitled to know everything about her? It’s a mystery why Erin wouldn’t want to share more of her life with fans like Liz.

Oh if only! If only Liz had known everything about Erin right away. Then she wouldn’t have “fallen in love with her” (super creepy). It all makes perfect sense. If she knew everything about Erin, she’d be happily naive. She needs to know more about Erin’s personal life, unless it’s her friends, family, boyfriend, pet and interests outside When Calls The Heart. That stuff Erin needs to stop posting. It’s ruining Liz’s life.

So Erin went a whole 11 days without posting anything during the Christmas/New Years break and Liz went into a tailspin over it. I have no idea what her incoherent ramblings about Erin’s makeup is about.

“4 ‘BLANKS’ DOG UGLY IT WHERE GOOD PHOTOS” etc. etc.

“Her privacy pisses me off to the core!!”

How funny would it be if one day Erin just makes her account private? Just as an April Fool’s goof or something.

…I thought the reason Liz was having this extended tantrum was because Erin wasn’t married. Why would the thought of Erin being engaged make her chimpout this much?

Oooooooh, that’s it. It’s actually not about Erin living with someone before marriage, it’s about Erin being in a relationship with someone Liz (a woman Erin’s never met and hopefully through God’s grace never will) doesn’t approve of because Liz is the main character of the universe and woe betide anyone who acts without Liz’s blessing.

Ooooh my Gooood! She just will not shut up about this dumb Italy trip from over a year ago.

How on Earth is it “aweful” for two single people to hang out with a couple? That’s called a group of friends.

I’m beginning to think Liz here needs a Trigger Warning for depictions of real life friendship and love. A healthy person doesn’t blow up like this.

This was the last post Erin made before her 11 day hiatus where she was probably having a wine-fueled premarital sex party with the 4 Blanks.

Or visiting family for the holidays. One of those two.

You can actually see the deterioration of Liz’s mental state between the two replies she left.

Erin ended up posting a new photo a few days ago. Liz was quick to re-upload it to her own Instagram and gave us an amazing gem of stupidity.

Truly a riddle for the ages. Why would the lead actress of When Calls The HEART pose in front of a wall with HEARTS drawn on them for her fans the HEARTies? We may never know.

“Weird obsession”

…

“love/hate relationship”

There is no relationship. You don’t know this woman. You can not have a relationship with someone you’ve never met or spoken to.

Chris did an interview with a Youtube channel. Cue screeching.

Geeeez… the writers, cast and crew wanting the show to continue is “selfish”. How dare those people want to continue their job that helps them support their families and gives them health coverage. Don’t they know this narcissist (who I'll bet has never worked a real job a day in her life unless it was for a family member that was guilted into hiring her) was literally stabbed in the heart by their show? Ignore the fans that are excited for next season. Burn it all down. It’s not enough to just not watch the show, it should cease to exist.

“Why not blame him? Others on Twitter were… So why can’t I give them a taste of their medicine?”

This is a very logical and healthy way to live and will in no way ever come back to bite you in the ass.

Liz brings up her theory (based on nothing but her insanity) that Erin was behind the Lucabeth break up because she didn’t want to kiss others anymore.

I have a question for our smooth-brained lunatic: What about all the other Hallmark movies Erin acts in? What about all the co-stars she kisses in those movies?

Maybe, just maybe, this is an idiotic theory and you should be ashamed for coming up with it. Oh, I want to put a spotlight on the “hearties who got ‘special treatment’” comment on the right. This was something she used to freak out about over on Twitter. She’s referring to the Hearties that have podcasts and youtube channels devoted to talking about and promoting the show. There’s so much to go into that I should probably do a separate post, but Liz really hates that these fans get “special treatment”. Special Treatment meaning they get to interview actors and people who work on the show. You see, it doesn't matter that they’ve been doing their shows for years and have built up an audience, learned the ins and outs of how to interview someone properly and with the right equipment and have gained a rapport with the people who work on the show. That’s Not Fair™ in Liz’s eyes. She thinks nobodies regular people like her should be allowed to talk to the actors and ask them any question they want. The concept of working hard and earning the privilege is alien to her.

She’s starting to swear more. Like, a lot more. Especially compared to her early posts on Twitter where the harshest thing she’d say would be “gosh”.

I keep saying this, but her behavior is getting worse. It’s escalating to something dangerous.

#when calls the heart #wcth #unhinged fans #hallmark #lucabeth #fandom drama #hearties

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queenharumiura · 9 months

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“ Who am I to you? ”

Send “ Who am I to you? ” to hear my muse describe their relationship with your muse/how they perceive them as a person. ||Accepting||

Haru glances over a photograph of when she was in her early teens. “Oh my… isn’t that a blast to the past? You don’t recognize her? That’s the kind Auntie who sometimes comes by to visit.” Haru chuckles, finger gently tracing along the edge of the photo in the scrapbook. “That’s right, I had longer hair back then. Thank you, I think I was cute back then too.” Haru chuckles, patting the top of the head of the kid who brought the scrapbook to her, asking questions.

“I’ve known her since we were even younger, we’re childhood friends. We would play together all the time, and she was always pretty clumsy back then. I would always carry band aids with me.” It is a cute memory to think of how things started off, with Haru wondering why it was that Tsuna would always end up scraping herself. The irony was that Haru was just as clumsy in her own right despite the fact that she was athletic. It was mostly that Haru sometimes had too much going on in her mind and she wouldn’t pay attention to what was right in front of her, or lose point of the big picture and mess something up.

Both of them were messes in their own right, which always made every single day a fun time. “We were always together until we started going to different schools. My parents wanted me to go to a good school, so I was always studying hard.” It was the educator in her Father who wanted her to excel academically, and luckily for them both- she was talented. “We drifted apart because I had less time to play and we had our lives to lead, but we reunited again at one point and we’ve been steadfast friends ever since.”

She’d entirely glossed over so many things, but it wasn’t necessary to divulge all that information, not to kids, anyways. “Tsuna is one of my best friends, and she’s someone I admire very much. Despite how tough things get in life, she will trek forwards because she wants to help people and possibly improve lives.” Cleaning up some of the darkness of the mafia wasn’t easy, but it was good for the civilians around. “She’s a very caring and has a way with understanding people at their core, which is very good in the realm of business, you know? She’s a very accomplished woman and I’m very proud of her for everything she’s managed in life.”

Haru missed seeing Tsuna since the two weren’t living in the same country anymore, but she could rest easier knowing that she had the support of her guardians to get things done. Haru was here doing her best to help in her own way—holding down the fort in Japan. “Unfortunately, she has a lot of pressure applied to her, but she does her best to move forwards despite all that. I sorry that she pushes herself too hard and that she ends up feeling lonely and unable to really help herself in that regard.” It is the woes of a person in power. Interpersonal relationships sometimes suffered, and being a woman among a myriad of men had to feel exhausting at some point.

At least there were other women around to keep her company, but was it enough? It was a thought that Haru always worried about. “As I do my part to help with her goals, I feel like my time is being well-spent. It lessens the burn of having let go of old parts of my life.” Goodbye to the innocent civilian. “I don’t regret it, I’m quite happy with my life as it is, and I’m with great company and she’s the one that introduced that to me.” She brings one of the children into her arms for a hug. “Without her, maybe we would never have met, isn’t that sad? Sensei would feel so lonely if she didn’t know about you kids. We should write her a letter one day, okay?” Sometimes, the tiny things are great reminders of what you’re working so hard for.

#SignorinaVongola #Meme answered #Answered ask #Thanks for the ask!#Haru speaks #Lady Boss AU #((It's worded as if Haru is supposed to talk about Tsuna and not answer Tsuna as if she asked))#((So I fashioned the meme response like so. Feel free to have it so Tsuna was actually listening in or something))

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ecargmura · 9 months

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The Girl I Like Forgot Her Glasses Episode 4 Review: Mie Might Like Komura Back?

Just to let you know, I don’t dislike this anime. I find it cute, honestly. I’m just pointing this out because the gimmick of Mie losing her glasses so often can get tiresome, but I’m still enjoying the anime because of the cuteness between our two leads. I’m just pointing this out because I feel like I was a bit too critical in my review of the previous episode.

This episode actually shows signs that Mie might like Komura back. In the beginning, she was a bit conscious of her messy hair; she was worried about Komura’s impression on her if she came to school with messy hair, not knowing Komura was standing next to her. Later on, she gets jealous when she can see that Komura was kabedon-ing Someya, their classmate who found Mie’s glasses in the bathroom and pushed Komura to separate them and not knowing why she did so. She also liked the fact that Komura isn’t tall so that she can lean her face against his. She was happy to share her textbooks with him, as he always lent her his and wanted to repay the favor once. She also brought him with her to go glasses shopping with her. I’m sure that Komura’s feelings will be mutual some day.

I do like how nice Komura is. He’s only a middle schooler, but knows how to control himself. He got excited at the thought of an indirect kiss with Mie, but decided against it. This boy has more self control than all the pervert anime men. Damn. Imagine having less self-control than a thirteen-year-old.

Regarding Mie, I actually like the fact that her glasses are seen more often in this episode. I can relate to her glasses woes. The scene with Komura getting dizzy over Mie’s prescription had me giggling because his reaction was what my friends in high school had when they tried out my glasses for fun. It was fun to see them react to how bad my eyes were. Speaking of which, my glasses before I got Lasik, were similar to Mie’s in that they were a red tint (more of a red-purple/wine color) and square glasses. Glasses shopping is something not that common to me, but I was a bit fond of it. The glasses that I had, the wine-colored ones, were unique glasses that don’t break; I even met the glasses company’s creator in a previous job about seven years ago!

I do like that Mie is being more aware of Komura in a way. However, I do want to see if there will be a Mie-centered episode because all of the episodes have been in Komura’s perspective and his entire character is being a nice guy and being in love with Mie. I kind of want to know more about Mie; I’m sure there’s more to her than being a space cadet who keeps losing her glasses.

Also, the glasses breaking part. I can relate because I did break my glasses once, not from sleeping, but from being stupid. Ah, the woes of youth.

Anyways, I’m interested to see where this development heads. Will it improve or stagnate? I want to know!

#the girl i like forgot her glasses #review #anime #anime review #ai mie #Kaede Komura #someya #ecargmura #arum journal

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cutegayorc · 1 year

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Adopted by a Werewolf Chapter 1

My attempt to get back into writing after reading way too many gay themed supernatural romance novels. Had a few friends who proofread. Will add their info in the description later once I've had a chance to get it all together. Hope you enjoy, leave a comment and all that good stuff.

Rodrig sat in the pub alone, separate from the other cadets as was his preference. He nursed a mug of cheap ale as he listened to the sounds of laughter and merriment from the other patrons. Rodrig told himself it was better to be alone. No one to make back handed comments about his family or his lack of skills on the training grounds. The constant ridicule made him prickly to be around, even to the cadets who mostly left him alone.

“Stay away from Raging Rodrig,” One particularly idiotic bully decided to say. “Guys got a permanent stick up his ass.”

That comment had earned a punch to the jaw from Rodrig which in turn earned Rodrig a night in a cell and a docking of his pay. His Commanding Officer also required an official apology from Rodrig. He did as commanded. But when he asked for an apology for the comments that led to the scuffle, he was told to grow up and get over it.

Rodrig continued to sip his beer, trying to clear his mind but finding himself focusing on his frustrations. He muttered little curses under his breath, so in his own head he didn’t notice when the seat next to his was taken. Nor did he notice that the stranger was watching and listening as he quietly spoke his curses and threats into his cup of ale.

“You look like you’ve got a thorn stuck in your paw Lad. Care to share your woes?” the man sitting next to Rodrig said.

It took a moment for Rodrig to realize who was talking to him. He looked over to see the man in question. Rodrig was considered a bit more stout than most, but the man sitting beside him was a mountain by comparison. He barely fit on the small bar stool and had a mass of muscle that put Rodrig’s slightly buff frame to shame. His arms were covered in a thin layer of black hair. His square jaw was covered with a small amount of scruff, like he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. And his eyes were a light brown almost approaching red. His long black hair had been braided into a ponytail that reached halfway down his back.

It was the first time Rodrig had ever seen a man with long hair. He liked it. A lot. Then Rodrig realized he was staring and turned away.

“Sorry sir.” Rodrig said, trying to be polite. “Don’t mind me. Just a long day.”

“I’m surprised you’re not over there with the other young bucks,” the Stranger said. “Most cadets at the academy stay pretty tightly knitted together.”

“How did you know I was a cadet?” “You’re still wearing your training uniform. As are they.”

“Oh.” Rodric said, feeling a bit dumb he didn’t realize that. “I’m fine. I’m happier alone.”

“Then why have you been mumbling obscenities into your mug?” the stranger said. He didn’t say it in an accusing tone. It almost sounded like teasing. If anyone else had talked to him like that, he would have stood up and asked them if they wanted to take the discussion outside. This man was playing with him. Poking fun at him. For some reason he didn’t mind. Rodrig smiled for the first time that night. He tried to hide it with his hand.

“Heard that huh?” Rodrig said, a little bit of a blush coming on from the embarrassment of being caught brooding.

“I did,” the Stranger said. “It does the body no good to let such thoughts fester. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just a little frustrated at my Commander.” Rodrig said. He knew he shouldn’t speak ill about his superior officer. Especially to a stranger. If word got out that he was going around town disparaging his superior, it could lead to discipline. But he couldn’t resist. The details just started spilling out of him. “I got in a fight with another cadet. He’s been saying things about me. I lost my temper and punched him. Got in trouble. Was forced to give an apology I didn’t mean. But when I asked for an apology back, I was told I didn’t deserve it.”

Rodrig took a sip of his ale. He couldn’t believe he had just told the stranger that. Rodrig had always been tight lipped about his problems. In fact, keeping secrets seemed to be the only thing he felt good at. He had to admit that getting it off his chest felt good.

“Sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Must have had one too many tonight.” Rodrig said as he started to stand up. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

“You’re not a bother,” the Stranger said. “I was the one who asked. Is the shit talker here tonight?”

The other cadet was with his regular group of friends. They were the loudest group there. A collection of young studs who believed that they were the greatest thing on the earth. Rodrig knew the academy got multiple complaints about the click. But as far as he knew, no actions had been taken against the group. Rodrig could hear them making lewd comments about the hostess. They were not being covert about it. Everyone in the bar could hear them.

“Yeah.” Rodrig said, sitting back down.

“I’m surprised the guard hasn’t been called to deal with them yet,” The Stranger said. “Trash like that would have been better off staying in their daddy’s balls.”

Rodrig was in the middle of taking another drink when he heard the crass comment. He nearly spit his ale out at the surprising comment. Instead he ended up inhaling half the mouthful and started coughing. Once he finally had his bearings back, he started laughing.

“Don’t say stuff like that when I’m drinking,” Rodrig said. “That’s funny though. I’m going to have to remember that one.”

“You’re welcome to it,” the Stranger said with a small nod. He had just gotten his own drink delivered. A glass of white wine. He swirled the contents in the fancy glass before taking a small sip. “What are you going to do about it?”

“About what? The rowdy ones back there?”

“No,” the Stranger said. “You’re not responsible for their actions. I meant about your Commander. He’s letting a member of his team talk disparagingly about another member of the unit. Doesn’t bode well for morale. Doesn’t lead to a cohesive unit. Thought about asking to be transferred to another team?”

Rodrig looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening. Most were ignoring him, but a few of the cadets had noticed he was talking to a stranger. He thought before he answered. He had already risked his neck once tonight. He couldn’t afford to risk it again.

“Maybe he’s right,” Rodrig said. “Maybe I need to toughen up.”

The Stranger snorted.

“You don’t believe that,” He said. “Try again.”

“It’s not a good idea to talk badly about a commanding officer,” Rodrig said in a hushed whisper. “Besides, it would be the same with any other unit I got transferred to. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this stuff.” Rodrig downed the last of his ale before beginning to stand up. The Stranger’s hand was placed on his shoulder and pushed him back down.

“It’s because I asked.” The stranger said. “You don’t have to apologize for speaking your truth to me when I was the one who requested the info.” His hand squeezed Rodrig’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb in a circular motion. It felt good and was stirring a heat inside of him. Rodrig had to bite his tongue from making noises.

“Tell me, why did you join the guard?” The Stranger asked.

“It was my only option,” Rodrig found himself answering without a second thought. Like he was under a spell. “Family kicked me out and I don’t have the skills to apprentice anywhere.” Rodrig felt a bit of shame rise as he admitted something so personal to a complete stranger. But the hand on his shoulder felt good. He imagined the man’s hands massaging his shoulders.

That was when Rodrig realized another part of his body was having an unexpected reaction to the touch of the Stranger. His penis started to swell up in his pants. He began to panic, quickly leaning over and placing his arms on the bar to try and block anyone from seeing the growth.The man chuckled to himself. It was low and deep, almost like a growl. It drove Rodrig crazy for reasons he could not explain.

“I’m sure you felt that it was your only option,” The stranger said. “But I’m sure another opportunity will present itself. Maybe try to keep an open mind.”

He gave my shoulder one final squeeze before letting go and standing up. He dropped a few coins on the countertop.

“This should cover the boy’s drink.” The stranger said. “Name’s Jerimiah by the way. What’s yours?” He said to Rodrig.

“Rodrig.”

“It was nice to meet you, Rodrig. Hopefully we will meet again soon.”

Rodrig didn’t answer. But he couldn’t help but stare after the man as he left. He was so tall, he had to duck his head when he exited the door. After his eyes finally left the man, it was like a spell had been broken. Clarity suddenly returned to him and he realized that quite a few people at the bar were looking at him. Rodrig waited for his erection to subside before stepping out of the pub, making sure not to meet anyone’s eyesight in the meantime.

---

That next day, Rodrig was on the practice field running drills with his fellow cadet’s. The weighted wooden sword was swung back and forth in a familiar pattern. The Commander called out his name and his stomach fell. He fell out of stance and looked in the direction of the voice that called his name. His Commander looked pissed. Granted, this was not a new look when he was dealing with Rodrig.

Rodrig jogged over to stand before his Commander before saluting and standing at attention.

“Some of your fellow cadets said you were in contact with a mysterious character last night. Care to elaborate.”

Rodrig’s heart began to beat in his ears. Panic filled his thoughts. Had someone seen his erection. Did they know about his orientation? He did his best to hide those fears, keeping his stance as still as possible and staring forward. “Can you be more specific, sir?” Rodrig said.

“At the bar dipshit!” The Commander said. Rodrig felt the eyes of everyone on the training field staring at them.

“Yes Sir. I was approached by a stranger. What did you want to know, Sir?”

“What do I want to know?” The commander repeated back. He often did that when he thought someone was asking a stupid question. “What did he want? It’s not normal for an out of towner to come and talk with a nobody like you. It’s mysterious. What did he talk to you about?”

“Nothing serious Sir,” Rodrig said. “Asked me how my day was. Asked me about why I wanted to be a city guard. I think he was bored or lonely. Must have wanted an excuse to talk to someone. Saw I was sitting alone and struck up a conversation.”

“Is that it?” The Commander asked. Rodrig thought for a moment before he responded.

“He paid for my drink, Sir.” I said.

“He asked you for any favors?” The Commander said. His tone was the one used when he was accusing someone of doing something wrong.

“No Sir.” Rodrig answered immediately.

“Give you his name?”

“I think so, Sir. But I don’t remember it exactly. Maybe Jeremy or Joshua.”

“You fucking idiot,” the Commander said before hocking a loogy against the nearby grass. “You’re training to become a member of the city guard. Remembering small details is part of your job description, dipshit.”

“I’m sorry Sir.” Rodrig said, his voice coming out shaky. “I’ll try to do better, Sir.”

The commander gave a deep sigh.

“Get back to training, cadet. And if you see that man again, I want you to report him to me directly. You understand?”

“Sir! Yes, sir!” Rodrig screamed back. He gave a hasty salute and ran back to grab his practice sword.

---

Rodrig went for a walk after training, avoiding going to the showers like the other cadets. He would go take a shower later. Alone. Safer that way. No one there to give him shit that way. It also meant he wouldn’t be tempted to stare at his fellow cadets. Even though they were assholes, some of them were still attractive enough to arouse Rodrig which would not have been ideal in a group shower situation. Besides, being in the woods was one of the few places where the young cadet could go to ease his mind. When he was out in the wilds, he could breathe. Something he needed after having the Commander breathing down his neck the rest of the day.

After heading far enough into the woods that he knew he wouldn’t be disturbed, Rodrig laid his back against a tree and slowly lowered himself to the ground. His pants would get dirty but he didn’t care. They were already covered with sweat and grass stains. He took a deep breath, smelling the forest. He laid back his head and closed his eyes. He listened to the sound of the birds and felt the wind in his hair and let his mind just go blank.

A deep growl met his ears and his eyes shot open. He looked around, trying to see where the noise came from. He slowly raised himself back up to a sitting position, pushing himself against the tree as he listened. He couldn’t see anything. He thought that maybe it was just in his imagination. Then he heard it again. It was close. Like whatever it was stood right beside him. He peeked around the tree, nothing. But he definitely heard it. Another growl, louder this time. He looked up.

Staring down at him from the branches was a huge, furry beast. It had the head of a wolf, long black hair covering its body. But instead of four legs, it had arms and legs like a man. It’s deep red eyes met his. It licked its lips, revealing its sharp fangs. Rodrig’s body moved on its own. He ran like he had never run before. The beast, whatever it was, followed right behind him. He could hear the sound of deep thumps against the ground as it chased him. Its panting was loud. Rodrig could feel its hot breath against his neck. He ducked and jumped over branches and roots, desperate to make it back to the academy. He was so close. It was just down the hill.

His foot caught on a raised root and he toppled over. His body began to roll down the hill. Each and every tumble and turn ripped into his clothes and skin until he finally reached the bottom. He landed on his stomach, the air was pushed from his lungs. He grunted and tried to move but still hadn’t caught his breath.

“What the fuck are you doing?” A familiar voice said above him. It was one of his fellow cadets, staring down at him but not offering him any sort of help. He looked down at Rodrig like one looked at an annoying child.

“Beast,” Rodrig said, his heartbeat pounding in his head. “In the forest. Chasing me.”

“What beast?” the cadet said. “Gods, your a fucking freak Rodrig.” A few other voices nearby began laughing. It was then Rodrig noticed that he had an audience. They all pointed and laughed.

“I’m not crazy!” Rodrig screamed. “It was out there. It had the face of a wolf and it was staring at me from up in the trees!”

“Look out everybody, the wolf monkey is on the loose.”

“Not only is he an ass, he’s also got a bunch of screws loose in his head.”

“Gods, why don’t they just kick him out already.”

Rodrig slowly pulled himself up. He felt pain all over his body but nothing appeared to be broken. He looked at his mockers, rage filling his insides.

“Fuck all of you!” Rodrig screamed. The beast was forgotten.

“What in the Gods are all of you nitwits doing?” The voice of the Commander demanded from nearby. He pushed his way through the laughing cadets and saw Rodrig covered in scratches and dirt. “Cadet Brinslow! What did you do now?”

“Commander. There’s a beast in the forest. It tried to attack me but I was able to get away. We have to form a search party. It could hurt others.” Rodrig was telling, no begging his commander to take action.

“He said it was a wolf that climbed up a tree. How fucking stupid can you be.” One of the cadets said between fits of laughter.

The commander grew pale after hearing the description. For a brief moment, Rodrig felt a flutter of hope. Maybe his Commander wasn’t all bad. He had believed him. For once the bastard would take his side. Someone finally took his side. Then the Commander’s rage face was staring him down. Faith and hope left his body as cold realization hit him. The Commander was not on his side.

“All of you shut it!” The commander screamed.

“And you!” The commander pointed at Rodrig. “What were you doing out there to begin with?”

“Clearing my head, Sir,” Rodrig said. “It helps to clear my thoughts after training.”

The commander turned his head and spit on the ground. The cadets standing nearby jumped back to avoid getting hit by the projectile.

“Go to your quarters and don’t leave until I come and fetch you.” The Commander said.

“But Sir-”

“ENOUGH!” The Commander screamed. “THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER, CADET!”

Rodrig stood there looking back at everyone who was staring back at him. The training field was silent. He could feel it. This was the final straw. He was going to be kicked out. He slumped forward, staring at the ground. Unable to look everyone in the face. His raging emotions were now completely snuffed by a sense of numbness. He did as he was told and walked away, not daring to look back and incur more wrath.

The academy was a group of small buildings. A dorm, a school, a mess hall and a practice field in the back. Everyone at the time was gathered around the mess hall so he didn’t see many people on his way to the dorms. It was probably for the best he told himself. He didn’t want people seeing him and his walk of shame.

Rodrig was back in his small dorm room. There was a bed, a sink with running water and a drawer for his clothes. He grabbed a washcloth and filled the sink with water. He stripped off his shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. Rodrig had dark tan skin and well defined muscles, which were now covered in thin scratches and bruises. Luckily nothing serious. He had wiry hair, halfway between blond and brown, and a bit of scruff on his chin. Not enough to be considered a beard but still there. He began using the water to clean himself off since he hadn’t had a chance to shower before being sentenced to his quarters. It was a slow process, especially since he kept wincing every time the cloth went over a wound. But he got it done. Next came off his pants. Again he repeated the process. Lastly his underwear came off. Luckily his manhood hadn’t been skewered by a rogue twig. His hair across his body was the same color as his head. He wasn’t as hairy as the man from the pub. Rodrig’s cock gave a little jump at the thought of the Stranger. Then he remembered his current predicament and any horny thoughts he might have had were washed down the drain with the dirty water. He dressed in a fresh pair of underwear, pants and a shirt and waited. And waited. Until he fell asleep.

---

Rodrig was awoken by the sound of knocking at his door. The late day sun had set and stars filled the sky.

“Come in.” Rodrig called as he sat up. The Commander came in. He was followed by a thin man with black hair and a scowl that Rodrig had never met. He wore clothes that looked like they cost more than Rodrig would ever make and had an ornate rapier sheathed to his side.

“Grab your things,” the Commander said as he threw a large backpack at Rodrig. “You have five minutes to pack up.”

“Sir, please,” Rodrig begged. “I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’ll do better. I’ll...”

“Shut your damn mouth.” the Commander said in a low voice. “Keep your voice down. If you wake any of the other cadets, I’ll have your damn hide. Do you understand?”

Rodrig nodded. He moved in a stiff but quick fashion, packing up his civilian clothes and the few knick knacks he still had. A small marble. A utility knife. The few bits of coin he was able to save doing odd jobs on the weekend. A pack of playing cards. The uniforms he left. They wouldn’t belong to him anymore. He zipped up the bag and hoisted it over his shoulder.

“Don’t say a single word.” the Commander said, his face inches from Rodrig’s “You are to follow me. Understand?” Rodrig nodded. The Commander left. Rodrig followed and the fancy man followed behind Rodrig. They made their way down the corridors of the dormitory and out the back entrance. Rodrig thought they were going to head to the front gate of the academy where they would push him out the door and shut it behind him. Instead they headed towards the training yard. Then past the training yard and towards the woods. Rodrig remembered the event from that afternoon and stopped walking.

“Sir, the beast.” Rodrig said. Something pressed into his back. The rich looking man was right behind him.

“I’ve got my rapier at your back.” The fancy man said. He had a high class accent. “Keep walking or I’ll impale you on it.” To make his point clear, the man pressed the rapier forward enough to pierce the skin. The prick on his back was enough to get him moving.

When they reached the woods, there was a pair of lanterns waiting for them. Both were already lit. The Commander took one. The fancy gentleman took the other. They continued to walk with Rodrig in the middle, the blade sitting against his back. Rodrigue thought about running. But even with the full moon, the trees covered the land making it blindingly dark. With the beast still roaming the woods., it would be suicide. He wasn’t sure what his current situation was yet either though. After the academy was out of sight, the Commander stopped and turned around. He was holding a pair of shackles and a piece of fabric.

“Turn around. Hands behind your back,” the Commander said. Rodrig began to protest but a sudden searing pain from the gentleman slashing his rapier across his back shut Rodrig up. He could tell he was bleeding, the blood from the wound warming his back.Rodrig did as he was told, dropping his backpack. The gentlemen kept the blade poking at his chest, its tip covered in a bit of his blood. The Commander slapped the shackles onto his wrist. They clicked closed. The Commander then pushed Rodrig forward. He fell and landed on his chest, unable to catch himself with his hands, his face slammed into the dirt. The Commander pressed his knee into Rodrig’s back to keep him down and slipped the fabric around his face and into his mouth before tying both ends behind his head. Rodrig tried to speak, to scream, but the cloth held his tongue down. As the Commander forced him to his feet, Rodrig was face to face with the gentlemen again. He had sheathed his rapier.

“So, you’re the one he came back for?” the gentleman said. He looked Rodrig up and down. “I’m not terribly impressed.” Rodrig tried to tell the pompous ass to shut the fuck up. The gag made it come out as muffled noises and grunts.

The Commander forced him around and began pushing him forward. Rodrig stumbled back and forth as his body was led through the forest. Once he tripped and fell to his knees. The Commander slapped him across the face and forced him up again.

“Come on out Jerimiah. I know you’re back in town.” The Commander called into the woods. “Decided to hunt yourself another young buck? Well guess what? You can have this one on me. He’s a fucking loser with no family. Won’t be missed. All you gotta do to have him is leave town. For good this time.”

“And if you don’t come and claim your prize,” the gentlemen said. “I’ll gut him.”

Rodrig began to scream at the threat on his life. He didn’t know what was going on. He tried to beg but all that came out were muffled whimpers from behind the muzzle.

“Hear that? The young buck is calling for you.” the Gentleman stepped forward, placing a boot against his ankle and pressing down. The pain shot through his lower body, making him scream out in agony.

“Fucking pathetic. No wonder your family didn’t want you.” The Commander started to lecture to no one in particular. “Well guess what, you’re going to be food for the beast.” The Commander pulled out a pocket knife and slowly dragged it across his cheek, leaving a cut that let out small ruby red drops of blood.

Rodrig began to shake. He had never been so scared in his life. Even running from the beast wasn’t as bad as the torture of being openly betrayed. At least his family didn’t sacrifice him. When he heard the sound of twigs snapping, he assumed it was the beast. He found himself feeling a sense of relief. Rodrig was done. Never had he thought he would be the type of person to wish for death. But after all the rejection and hiding who he was, maybe he just wasn’t made for this world. He just hoped that the beast would rip out his throat first so he didn’t have to suffer. He looked up to see his end but instead saw the man he had met just the night before.

“There you are.” the Gentleman said. “Was wondering when you would show up, Monster.”

“Hello again, Little Brother.” the voice of the man from the bar said. “It’s been too long.”

“We are not family, you freak!” The Gentleman said. “I don’t know why you thought it was okay to hunt here but I will not stand for it. Take your prize and leave here.”

The Commander pulled Rodrig to a kneeling position. The man from the night before had a furious look on his face when he got a better look at Rodrig.

“What did you do to him?” Jeremiah said. “Why would you do this to him?”

“Because he’s a useless freak,” the Commander said. “ Had to rough him up a bit for wasting my time. Besides, can’t your kind smell the blood of your prey?” The Commander forced Rodrig to his feet before smashing the bottom of his foot against the bound man’s back. Rodrig felt himself jettisoned forward. Before he could hit the ground, he landed against something large and warm instead.

“I’ve got you kid.” Jeremiah whispered down to Rodrig before turning back to the two men still standing on the other side of the clearing. “Care to provide the key to his bonds?”

“You’re a big strong beast. I’m sure you can tear them off.” The gentleman said before cackling into the night. The sound grated against Rodrig’s frayed nerves. He heard the sound of the Commander and Gentleman walk away, throwing the clearing into darkness when they took their lanterns with them.

Jeremiah untied the cloth gag, letting Rodrig move his tongue.

“Are you all right?” Jeremiah asked now that they were alone.

The answer was no. Rodrig was far from alright. He was terrified, confused and standing in a close to pitch black dark forest that just earlier that day he had run through while being chased by a hound-like creature that could climb trees. On top of that, he had been slashed by two different blades and his ankle felt like it was on fire.

“I’m fine.” Rodrig said out of habit.

“We’ll get you to my camp where I can check your injuries.” Jeremiah said. He gently helped Rodrig to his feet. “Is that pack they dropped yours?”

“I don’t know.” Rodrig said. “I can’t see. Probably. They did have me pack my bag before…” He didn’t finish the sentence.

“Stay here.” Jeremiah told him. Rodrig heard him take a few steps away from him, pick something up and walk. “Hold still.”

Rodrig felt Jeremiah grab the chain that secured the manacles behind his back. Jeremiah started grunting and then the chain snapped. Rodrig’s hands were still bound by the wrist cuffs, but he could now move them freely.

“How did you break them?” Rodrig asked.

“Now is not the best time to explain,” Jeremiah said, wrapping his arm around Rodrig’s. “I have good night vision so I will lead you back to my camp. Can you walk?”

“I got my ankle stomped on.” Rodrig said.

“I might be able to carry you,” Jeremiah said. Before Rodrig could respond, he felt himself getting scooped up. The noise of surprise he made was not one he hoped to ever make again. He was being held like a bride being carried across the threshold.

“Down! Put me down!” Rodrig cried.

“Shh you.” Jeremiah barked. “Unless you want to walk to my camp on a hurt ankle.”

“I could make it.”

“You’re a terrible liar. Now stand still. It’s easier to move if you stay still.”

Rodrig couldn’t see anything but he could hear the quick sounds of feet pounding into earth and the feeling of the night air rushing past his face. Jeremiah moved faster than he would have expected. Especially carrying his weight. He gripped against Jeremiah’s shirt and bicep like he would fall if he didn’t. Granted that’s exactly how he felt. Eventually they started to slow down and then came to a stop. Jeremiah slowly set him down, lowering him onto what felt like a small wooden stool.

“Stay here. I’m going to light a fire.” Jeremiah whispered next to Rodrig. He let Rodrig’s arm go and stepped away. The familiar sound of flint and steel sounded out and a moment later, light emerged from a small fire pit. The light cast around the camp, revealing a rather large tent and knapsack as well as a donkey and small cart. Jeremiah was next to him a moment later, carrying a piece of jerky.

“Eat this and wait here. I’ve got some tools that can pick the locks on those shackles.” Jeremiah told him.

Rodrig bit into the jerky, his mouth watering after he realized how hungry he was. Once he was done, Jeremiah offered him another. He greedily took it, tearing into the flavorful meat.

“You can have another piece after I’m done with these,” Jeremiah said, grabbing one of the loose chains connected to Rodrig’s arms, pulling it into his lap.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Jeremiah asked as he got to work on the locks.

“I don’t know. The Captain suddenly told me to stay in my quarters and when he came to get me, that guy was with him. I thought they were going to kick me out of the academy but then they brought me to the woods. Then that...fancy asshole pulled a sword on me. Told me if I didn’t move, he would gut me. Then they tied me up and gagged me.”

“Did they say why?” Jeremiah asked. One of the shackles came undone. He grabbed Rodrig’s other wrist and got to work on the second one.

“No. They didn’t tell me anything. But I get the feeling it has something to do with you.” Rodrig said, sounding a bit more accusing then he meant to be of the man who had possibly saved his life.

“Yeah.” Jeremiah said. “I do. But the explanations are going to have to wait until morning. We need to be out of here at first light.”

“Leave?” Rodrig said, a little panic creeping in. “I can’t leave.”

“You can’t stay either.” Jeremiah said. “You’re not safe here. That man, the fancy asshole as you called him, won’t let you live if you stay.”

The second shackle came off. Jeremiah took the two halves of the shackles and dropped them in the cart.

“Why? I didn’t do anything to him.” Rodrig asked.

“It’s not about what you did. It’s about what you are.”

Rodig’s heart sank. He could only think of one thing that could cause such a reaction. One of the other cadet’s must have seen something that outed him. That he was a homosexual. It was the reason his father kicked him out at 16. Why he had to join the academy. He wanted to scream. Instead he felt some tears streak down his cheeks.

“I didn’t ask to be like this.” Rodrig said. “I didn’t ask to be a faggot.”

“That’s not what I...oh kid.” Jeremiah was suddenly holding him in a big hug. “That’s not something you can control. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Yes it is.” Rodrig sobbed against the man’s chest. “The scripture says a man must procreate. That wasting your seed in another man is akin to murder.”

“Kid, sorry to break this to you but the scripture was written by a bunch of assholes with 16 slave wives apiece.” Jeremiah said, squeezing him in a way that felt so comforting. “They weren’t exactly the height of moral standings.”

“But I...”

“No buts.” Jeremiah said, holding him at arm's length and staring him directly in the eyes. “You being gay isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated less than. And don’t say faggot. If I hear that word come out of your mouth again, especially in reference to yourself, I’ll tan your hide. Understood?”

Rodrig was speechless. Never had he been both scolded and ameliorated at the same time. The stern gaze staring down at him was not one that could be bargained with though. He nodded, not wanting to say anything more to disappoint the man.

“Good.” Jeremiah said before handing Rodrig another slice of jerky. “Eat this while I prepare you a bedroll.” Rodrig took the meat muttering a quiet thank you. He ate it quietly. He had never actually told anyone about his sexuality before. Not willingly. His father had found out without him knowing. God knows how the Commander found out. Or the strange gentleman. Rodrig didn’t think he would ever tell anyone. His plan was to keep it a secret. To die a bachelor and let his older brother be the one to carry on the family name. He did not expect to be scolded for hating what he was.

“Bed’s ready. Come on, let’s get you laid down so I can take a look at your wounds.” Jeremiah wrapped his arm around Rodrig, hooking his hand underneath the other’s arm before pulling him up like it was nothing. He led him to the tent and brought him over to one of two bed rolls that took up the space before lowering him down.

“Before you lay down, I need you to take off your shirt.” Jeremiah said.

“Why?” Rodrig asked, feeling suddenly vulnerable after sharing his biggest secret.

“You’re bleeding on your back. The wound needs to be cleaned. I also need to look at that cut on your cheek and your ankle.”

Rodrig knew from basic first aid that Jeremiah was right. But that didn’t make him feel any better about it. He hooked his fingers under his shirt before pulling it off, putting it down near where his head would be before laying face down.

“Good boy. Now wait here while I get my first aid equipment.” Jeremiah left the tent. Before he could return though, Rodrig fell asleep.

#gay #gay werewolf #daddy #creative writing

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maroonghoul · 1 year

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Horror Movies I just Watched: Jan 2023

I’m back! Since I watch new horror movies all year long these days anyway, might as well continue this on a monthly basis. So I started off 2023 with these:

Noroi: the Curse More of a mockumentary mixed with a found footage film. I feel the rules here are less defined then with the Ring or the Grudge, though maybe I just having trouble keeping up. While that can hurt the wide appeal, I think it helps the quality. It’s scarier if you don’t fully know how to avoid or escape Kagutaba. All this film does is give you point of views.

Alligator(1980) Animal attack movies feel weird to me for this. Yes, they’re structurally monster movies, that are, on paper, a lot more scary when the monster is actually real (Sure helped with Jaws’ effectiveness), but it’s that strange extra dose of realism that fails to engage me most of the time. I’m going in knowing this isn’t invincible agent of evil precisely. It’s no more immoral then the humans it eats or attacks because all it’s got is instincts.

For this film, it was never really scary. The big gator puppet was goofy whenever it was on screen. But I did enjoy whenever it was on screen, especially when it literally crashed that wedding. Kinda wished the female lead, who was his last owner all grown up, would realize it and had a moment with Ramon the gator. I don’t know WHAT that moment would be (An apology, a mercy kill, etc.), but otherwise, I felt that prologue is pointless. Big guy deserved at least to get out of Chicago.

Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives The fourth film in this franchise I’ve seen and so far my favorite. Yeah, sadly not a hot take. This one or 4 is considered the best. But this gave more of what I want. Now a confirmed classic zombie, looks like Jason has enough energy to terrorize more then his camp, even if he always goes back there, leading to a wide variety of dead meat.

While Tommy this time is a unique protagonist for this franchise in that he already knows Jason is around (because it’s sorta his fault), I’m a bit annoyed he’s naïve enough to think the police would help. They gave him more difficulty then Jason. I guess that makes sense, since it’d be hard to justify him leaving anyone alive long enough for the climax. Points for getting a few car chases into the story though.

But otherwise, I enjoyed the Frankenstein inspired opening, the set up to the kills, the actual kills. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but I’ll think I go with the one that got him his new machete. The movie being funny without undercutting Jason’s threat level should be enough to make it a Slasher gold standard.

I actually saw it because a local theater was screening it 17 days ago. (Guess why?) and the audience was having a great time with it. I don’t blame them. Funny how a 37 year old dumb slasher movie made a more compelling argument to me the importance of movie theaters then either Avatar movie. Zing!

Black Sabbath Anthology film courtesy of Mario Bava and Boris Karloff! Nice!

The first segment: Well now I found what helped inspired Black Christmas, and in turn, Scream. It doesn’t handle the premise as terrifyingly as what came after it, but it’s nice and short.

The Second segment: Karloff playing a vampire (well, close enough to one) where he turns and breaks down his family one by one, leading to a downer ending? Works for me. Though it’s a pity the version I found dubs him over with an Italian voice actor.

The Third segment: The corpse in this story is probably the first image that comes up when you do a google search for this movie. Moral of the story; whatever your financial woes or how good that ring looks, don’t steal from anything that looks like that!

Titane What’s really strange about this movie isn’t that our main character is a serial killer or that there’s a sentient car that knocks them up or that they spend most of the movie impersonating a man. What’s strange is that really except for the first act and the last ten minutes, this doesn’t feel like a horror movie at all.

Most of the deaths happen early on (including one scene played for black comedy purposes) and the car doesn’t do anything beyond it’s sex scene. It doesn’t pull a Christine and come to protect it’s unborn baby. Sure, there’s body horror for the half human half machine fetus that literally tears Alexia’s body apart. But it’s surprisingly utilizes more metal then gore. Though, knowing what I could take, that’s probably a blessing.

The rest plays almost like a wholesome LGBTIA+ drama about almost literal found family with firefighters. I guess it’s strangely nice it went this way when other movies go the more nihilistic route. Though now I want to watch more movies with firefighters all of a sudden.

#noroi: the curse #jason lives #alligator 1980 #titane #Black Sabbath

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diabolicalacid · 1 year

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this is going to be long….but i have to let this out my chest because i am going to combust just thinking about this:

if ms. self destructive is gonna end up mr. sakusa im going to screaaammm !! i don’t think it would be a wise decision if they decide to rekindle when their past barely even has a foundation. it was literally just a fling that happened in their teens, like it’s so petty!! who in their right mind would go to that extent just to have a “sloppy revenge?” also, made my blood boil when reading how she’s just shirking off her responsibilities and goes back to her “woe is me, i‘m the only one suffering in this world so all of you should have sympathy for me and be there for my every beck and call” attitude and mentality, e.g. when she went off in the gc for the first time without warning and put someone on the spot with personal details, when she doesn’t have an ounce of professionalism, passion nor dedication to her career (literally made me scream because the job market is very competitive and she’s just wasting it like she was born with a golden spoon in the mouth, hello!!), when she repeatedly never listens to her friends and blows them off, her constant mean and derogatory comments about reina (calling her a bitch and a wench…it did not ate as she wanted it, just made her pathetic honestly 🫤), and when she turned the situation around and basically told shoyo (non-verbatim) that her feelings were more important than “a bunch of games that’ll never lead up to the future/amount to anything” or something like that. the nerve of her to just say that to a person whose life revolves around volleyball!!! whose career is being an athlete!!! whose income would be determined by whether their team wins or loses!!! how dare she.

literally never hated a reader so much which is a double edged sword because i love when the roles in the story are reversed from the usual, like the character is the one hurting and the reader is the a-hole. your characterization and ability to make a character so insufferable, unlikeable, and hateable is amazing btw. i wouldn’t be surprised if kenma and kuroo leaves her in the dust. i wouldn’t be surprised when she just gets fired because behaving like that and not doing your job properly only because of your personal problems is a big no no in japan, and it will literally lessen your chances of getting rehired in another company once they do a background check on you and find out your incompetence.

the reason why im so fired up with boarding the hate train against reader is because this particular situation hits too close to home, because i know someone like this irl. well, knew, since both my friend who is involved with this particular incident, and me, cut off ties with the messy ex-friend. in this situation i was like kenma and kuroo in one. it was very emotionally exhausting and draining, and it’s really not worth it to save a friendship when you know they’re headed to crash and burn but they don’t want to change because of their singular goal. that, and having tunnel vision, only seeing what they want to see, the whole shebang. i don’t mind telling you the background story behind it, but idk if you want me to blow up and rant in your askbox though lmao.

to reader in the story, only thing i can say is: f*ck around and find out. 🥱 play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🥴

i appreciate the fact that you took your time to write this all down. like wow 😭 i’m really glad that you were able to cut ties with your messy friend and start clean. as for kuroo and kenma, they��re pretty used to yn. they shouldn’t be, but they are.

everyone will get their happy ending, but happy ending doesn’t mean yn and sakusa will end up conventionally. clearly they’re both very toxic in their own ways right now, so there’s a lot they need to work on.

and yn being rude to her friends, saying things she knows she’ll regret— that’s such an everyday thing, it’s truly sad. i hope she gets better, cuz sunshine sho didn’t deserve all that she said to him 🥹😭

#once more to see you #sakusa smau

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exceptionallyacceptingghost · 2 years

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I was thinking about power today. It seems that everyone wants power, but when you’re at my level, power is kind of an illusion. You can hold a position of power in a company, but once you leave the company that power is gone. Without a job, you hold no power at all. The ones with real power are probably not in your social circle if you’re the average person. Billionaires have power and influence, but even they have their limitations. It’s a silly thing to want to chase and hoard. If you have power, a lot of people suddenly want to be your friend and when you lose power, you suddenly don’t have friends. When you have power, you’re constantly trying to maintain it and keep it.

I know- bummer. What a boring life without power. What would life be if someone didn’t feel like a puppeteer playing us all like a fiddle? Someone always needs to feel clever. There’s no escaping it though, as we need someone who is willing to lead. Someone needs to be calling the shots. Otherwise, who would hold down the fort so I have the luxury of being apathetic? I care about everyone’s struggle and pain, don’t get me wrong. I have limited resources though. I don’t even have influence, I just have one vote for any election that comes around. Some people don’t even get that.

It seems I have gone 360 on this thought train. Power is stupid, but necessary I guess. Or is it 180? I came into it against power and came out it being kind of ok with it, because I remembered it would require too much effort on my part. You could say “That’s what ‘they’ are counting on,” until you realize most people in power are born into it and have a wealth that you can’t even fathom. I’m a little more than mino food, I’d like to think I’m a trout at least. Ya know, give myself some credit. I’m just picturing someone blazing in announcing that they’re a shark. Ok buddy, you’re a shark I guess. Being in sales doesn’t count, but we’ll let you have it this time. I’m thinking a shark is more like an A-list celebrity, so unless you’re that- you’re probably some kind of other fish. I’ll let you pick which one. I mean- I’m writing a blog no one will read and my only follower is Cheesebot. That should tell you where I am in the human-cool-factor-chain.

What’s funny is I’ll feel like such a privileged d*ck for writing about my woes, but I’m not even *that* privileged. Some people go on vacation every year or wake up to beautiful views. Some people have a two story house! Some people collect cars. I’m not sure why I feel shame. I do wish people didn’t have to suffer. I’d change it all if I could. Snap my fingers and suddenly everyone in the world is at peace and they’re not hungry or scared. The good people who want to give don’t have enough resources. That’s the tragedy of non-profits. I’ll never forget when I was 14 years old, I was part of a group that handed out books to the elder at a senior center. I was so happy passing our books to everyone who was excited to get them. Then one old lady came around the corner saying “wait! I didn’t get one!” And we had none left. None. Zero to give to her. She looked hurt and I didn’t understand at the time why we couldn’t accommodate her. The lady who was helping me pass the books out had to deal with a sad old lady and a crying 14 year old at the same time. That’s why I get mad at the hunger for power, because people aren’t always generous with it. It’s not like this old lady wanted anything unreasonable. She just wanted a book like everyone else got.

EAG

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ppersonna · 3 years

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my only wish - knj | m

“ santa can you hear me? i have been so good this year. and all i want is one thing. please tell me my true love is here ” - my only wish (this year), britney spears

✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 15.1k OOF

✹ genre- smut, fluff, tiny tiny angst if you squint, enemies to lovers, fake dating au, idiots to lovers, brief mention of YoonMin

✹ warnings- penetrative sex, unprotected sex (dont do it), daddy kink lolol, namjoon has a big dick, oral sex (m/f receiving), cum swallowing, light cum play, dirty talk, light degradation (very light tbh), praise kink, lots of mentions of joon being a beefy boy, masturbation,

✹ a/n- its here!! finally! my contribution to rockin around the christmas tropes. big big big shout out to @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen @underthejoon @yeojaa @snackhobi for being my co collaborators. and a warm shout out to @wwilloww and @hobi-gif for being some very lovely betas. thank you thank you! i hope you enjoy!

There are few things you hate most in this world.

Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange…

But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things:

Christmas.

And Kim Namjoon.

Christmas, in your opinion, is nothing more than a consumerist holiday, anchored on ensuring you’re guilted enough from November 1st to the 25th of December to spend your hard earned money on shit your friends and loved ones won’t even use. It’s a time for people to pretend they love giving and caring, while shoving you out of lines in stores, buying up all the groceries as if it’s the end times, and forcing party after mindless party for “celebration” that ends in seeing your boss drunk and pants-less by the punchbowl.

And don’t even start on Kim Namjoon.

On paper, he’s your colleague, to put the terms friendly. In reality, he’s your opponent, your adversary. He’s annoying, rude, stuck up, and not to mention a douchebag heartbreaker. He’s everything you hate wrapped in one disgustingly handsome face.

The man never misses a chance to steal a case from underneath your nose, rub the praise he receives from your bosses in your face, and look ridiculously delectable in his tight suits that he insists he wears around the office. He absolutely infuriates you.

And now, as you sit in the company-wide meeting, your heart sinks as you realize the worst thing about Namjoon—he’s about to get the promotion you’ve been vying for your entire career.

That position was as good as yours—at least, you had thought.

That was until lead counsel, Seokjin, stands in front of all the attorneys present and calls out Namjoon’s name, commending him on winning his latest case—the case that you had done the bulk of the work for. Seokjin even tells the rest of the lawyers in the room that Namjoon is “someone to watch” with a glint of pride in his eyes.

The smug smile Namjoon sends in your direction as he teasingly nibbles on a pen with his sultry mouth is enough to make you want to tear his eyes out and use them as olives in the martini you sorely needed.

Namjoon smirks as he walks past you once the meeting ends.

“Make sure you watch me, baby,” he whispers into your ear.

His hand rests on your lower back and you hate how much he aggravates you, and hate even more so that he frustrates you sexually as much as he does intellectually.

Unfortunately, your body can’t keep up with your mind’s distaste for the elder lawyer. His presence around you makes your blood vessels tighten and your head feel light—nipples prickling against your bra when he winks at you.

“Asshole,” you whisper under your breath as you pack up your notebook.

“Oh, ___!” Seokjin calls out just as you’re about to leave the all-glass meeting room.

Your head suddenly screeches to a very frustrated, sexual halt when you turn to face the lead counsel of your company.

“Yes, Mr. Kim?”

“I’ve got a case for you.”

The smile on his face makes you relax. Maybe he sees your potential. Maybe he’s testing you just as much as he’s testing Namjoon. Maybe you’ll be the “one to watch” and you can rub that right in Namjoon’s perfect, stunning face.

A thick manila folder slides across the oak table towards you from Seokjin’s hands. The impressive volume of the dossier makes you giddy with anticipation.

“I know you won’t let me down.”

You nod, nibbling at your lips, before bowing to your superior and dashing out of the room as fast as your Louboutins can handle.

It’s not until you sit at your desk, a cramped little cubicle next to Park Jimin, your best friend and paralegal assistant, that you open the folder.

Your heart sinks as your eyes hurriedly rush over the title page.

Personal Injury Suit.

A dejected sigh leaves you as you throw the folder onto your desk and slouch back in your ergonomic office chair.

“What’s up, pussycat?” Jimin smiles as he rolls his chair over to your side of the cubicle. “Namjoon got you worked up again?”

You groan as you take off your reading glasses, setting them aside to rub at the burgeoning headache building at your temples. You had momentarily forgotten all about Namjoon in the hurried hope that you’d land a case of significance, something you could finally use to prove yourself.

Instead, you gained yet another in-and-out, settle outside of court case. Likely some elderly geriatric suing a corporation for too-slippery floors.

“Another fucking personal injury suit,” you whine as you thrust the folder into the lithe paralegal’s hands.

He looks over the documents and sucks his teeth.

“Man, Seokjin really has it out for you.”

You level a look at your best friend, before nodding and holding your head in your hands.

“Namjoon is getting all the good cases! He gets the media attention, the litigation deals, everything! It’s like I’m not even given a chance to show what kind of lawyer I can be when I’m stuck with all the nursing home and car accident suits!”

Jimin bows dutifully, nodding his head as you express your woes.

“I can do more than just personal injury litigation… and Seokjin knows that! It’s just that Namjoon keeps getting all the air-time!”

“I know, babe. I know.”

With one last sigh of disbelief, you take the folder out of Jimin’s hands and sit upright at your desk.

“Well, I guess if I’m going to be a personal injury lawyer, I’m going to be the best fucking one yet. Let’s get to work.”

“Yeah! Fighting!” Jimin cheers.

Namjoon sighs as he listens to his mother blabber on and on through his phone. He leans back in his chair and surveys the wide expanse of his corner office.

Seokjin gave him this space, an upgrade from the desolate cubicles when he won his last big case, Kim Taehyung, artist v. the city of New York. He can’t help but smirk as he glimpses you from his window, pouring over a case file. He notes the curve of your back in the silk blouse you’re wearing and the way it tucks into your pencil skirt. He wishes he could see the outline of your ass and watch as it sways back and forth when you walk.

“I just don’t understand why you can’t ever bring anyone home for the holidays!”

His mother breaks him from his silent reverie of detailing every aspect of your backside.

“You know your grandmother will not be alive much longer! And all she wants is her only grandson to be happy and in love! And a few grandchildren won’t hurt!”

“I am her grandchild, Mom.”

She’s silent for a moment.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind some grandchildren either.”

He groans again and presses his fingers to his forehead, a headache bubbling up behind his eyes.

“Don’t you act like that, young man! You have a big empty house, big car, big life, and no one to share it with. I just want you to be happy.”

She continues on and Namjoon can’t help but let her words sink in.

He has it all. Expensive luxury apartment, enormous bed, gorgeous kitchen, money to spend on traveling and enjoying life. Yet he spends most of his time here, stuck in his office. He’s utterly alone, regardless of how many social guests he tries to entertain, horrid dates he attempts to go on. He’s always left alone, and he feels it deep at the very bottom of his heart—the loneliness and desire for a companion.

“Mom! Mom!” He interrupts her diatribe on the futility of his adult life. “Stop!”

“Namjoon, I’m just conce-”

“I’ll bring home my girlfriend for the holidays, okay?”

There’s a stunned silence on the other end.

“A girlfriend?” she asks, tentatively. “Really?”

“Yeah,�� he breathes, wincing already at the lie he’s spoon-feeding his poor mother—all in the name of getting her off his back. “She’s kind of shy, so I didn’t want to tell you about her yet, but now seems like the best time. I’m... I’m even thinking of proposing.”

The words come out of Namjoon’s mouth before he can stop them. His mom bursts into screams of delight, and he can tell she’s running to his beloved grandmother to tell her the news.

“Oh, Namjoon! This is all we’ve ever wanted for you. I’m so proud of you! I can’t wait to meet her! Oh, goodness, I can’t want to tell your father. Goodbye, son! I’ll see you two soon!”

She hangs up before Namjoon has a chance to even breathe.

“Fuck.”

He drops his phone to his wooden desk and grimaces.

How the hell is he going to find a fiance in the next 3 days before the holiday break?

There’s Jennie, his ex.

He thinks about it for a moment, before quickly dismissing it. No, much too clingy and possessive. She’d take it to be real, and he’d be stuck with her.

His last hookup, Jihoo?

No, too aloof. His mom would never buy that they were a love-sick couple on the brink of engagement.

A crash outside his office startles Namjoon, making him stand and exit the large corner suite.

The commotion is coming from your cubicle, where he can see you’re struggling to use the decrepit computer. The crash must have been from you slamming the keyboard to the desk, causing the individual keys to pop off the board.

“Shit! Jimin, help me put this keyboard back together!”

You shimmy out of your chair and onto your knees, an excellent sight for Namjoon if he wasn’t so concerned about your well-being.

The paralegal is standing above you, watching as you kneel to gather the pieces of the obliterated keyboard.

“Oh no, honey. It’s against my personal constitution to be on my knees unless it’s for a handsome man.”

“God, Jimin, come on.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you hulk-smashed the life out of that poor keyboard.”

Namjoon smirks, turning back into his office and sliding into his desk. He easily opens his MacBook and emails Yoongi in IT, requesting a brand new computer for your desk—no holds barred. He wants the top of the line for you.

He suddenly has just the person in mind to be his fake fiancée.

A brand new, gorgeous computer is at your desk the next day you arrive. You nearly spill your hot peppermint mocha when you see the sleek machine atop your old plastic desk instead of the broken clunker that was there the day before.

“What the hell?” You ask Jimin as you set your coffee down gently as if any movement might scare the new computer away. “Did you order this?”

“I love you, but I would never order you something this nice.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes as you sit down to marvel at the modern machinery. At least Jimin is honest.

“Maybe I’ll call Yoongi and ask him where it came from,” you wonder aloud, hand hovering over your phone.

“YOONGI?” Jimin screeches, eyes suddenly wide and crazed.

“Yeah? The IT guy?”

“I know who Yoongi is, you dumbass! Here, let me call him! I’m your assistant!”

He scrambles to grab the phone out of your hand.

“You literally refuse to do anything I ask.”

Jimin smiles cherubically, completely ignoring your confusion. He’s suddenly the picture of a model employee.

“Don’t you worry! I’ll be right on it!”

He hops from your desk with your cell phone gripped tight, and saunters away to a secluded area out of your eyesight.

“What the fuck is going on today?” You ask out loud, settling into your chair and unloading your bag of files.

“How's the new computer?”

The sudden intruder makes you jump, nearly spilling your coffee, yet again.

“Fuck!” You shriek as you attempt to right yourself and the dangerously hot liquid sloshing in the paper cup. “You scared me!”

The chuckle that comes from behind you makes your stomach flip. You know that laugh. You could recognize that laugh a hundred miles away, in a hurricane, with headphones on.

That laugh is the sultry demon himself, Kim Namjoon.

“I—How did you know about my computer?”

Namjoon takes a knee, bringing his face to your level in your chair. He’s close to you, so dangerously close. You can smell the Giorgio Armani cologne applied to his pressure points—the heat of his skin warming the scent and mingling with his own subtleties. Your eyes nearly roll back in your head. He smells so comforting—like a home you never knew you were missing until he arrived.

“I saw it when I walked in this morning.”

He breaks you from your daydreaming of warm, firm hands caressing your body and you’re thrown headfirst back into reality—the reality where you can’t stand the man mere inches from you.

You push back from where you are and stand, eager to get away from Namjoon’s sudden interest in close proximity. He smirks and rises from his spot, pocketing his hands in his tight cream suit.

“Care to join me in my office for some coffee?” He asks.

His office. The one he scored after he won the Kim Taehyung case. The bitter betrayal still lingers in your mouth.

For the longest time, you had been equal in every sense; both living in the dingy cubicles with the computers long-destined for retirement. Then, Seokjin awarded him with the corner office, the one with the view of the entire city. You’d never forgiven either of them.

“I have my own coffee.”

Namjoon smirks as he eyes your paper cup, clearly a quick grab from the 7-Eleven around the corner.

“Looks fancy.”

You purse your lips and clutch your coffee even closer.

“Please,” he asks again. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Namjoon’s face loses its snark, and you’re curious about what could cause the man to become so serious.

“Fine.”

You motion with your arm towards his office, encouraging him to walk ahead. He smirks again, ah—there’s that smirk, before he turns and heads into the gorgeous corner room.

He lingers by the door as you enter, waiting until you’ve crossed the threshold to close the door behind you. It surprises you. Something about being in a closed room with Namjoon sets you on edge. You can nearly imagine the man bending you over that fine oak desk, hiking your skirt up and spanking your ass until it’s red.

“Coffee?” He asks as he moves towards the in-office espresso machine.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have a Nespresso in your office?”

All desperate and wanton thoughts of Namjoon sliding into you leave once you see the stainless steel contraption in the room's corner. Of course he has a $500 coffee machine in his office. He has everything you want.

“You like it?” His question is cocky. He already knows the answer.

“Fuck off.”

Namjoon grins and turns the machine on, pulling out two mugs while you sip your now lukewarm coffee. It suddenly tastes disgusting.

“So, what’s the deal, Namjoon?” You ask as he rests against the wall and waits for the coffee to brew. “You said it was important.”

Namjoon nods, a more reserved look taking the place of his usual cocky grin on his face. His gaze turns down to his shiny dress shoes.

“I need a favor.”

“No.” Your answer is quick.

Namjoon looks up at you in surprise.

“You haven’t even heard it yet!”

“Yeah, well…,” you huff. “I’m not interested in helping you.”

Namjoon leaves his post by his elaborate coffee maker, forgetting about the piping-hot liquid drizzling into white mugs, as he stands in front of you. There’s that fucking cologne again. Why does he have to smell so good?

“You’ve got to help me. Please.”

His sudden closeness to you sets your brain off—your steely resolve begins to crumble.

“Fine, I’ll bite. What is it?”

His face lights up again. God, he has such a handsome mouth.

“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for my family Christmas party.”

If you hadn’t had such a good grip on the convenience store cup of coffee, it’d surely drop from your clutch and splatter on the expensive carpet of Namjoon’s office.

Your eyes widen, and your mouth falls agape.

“You—You what?!”

Namjoon sighs and lowers his voice.

“Look, I…” he struggles. “I told my mom I have a girlfriend, so she’d get off my back about it.”

“And why am I suddenly your best option for that?!”

You step away from the man, determined to clear your mind as the scenario weaves its way through your head.

Namjoon’s girlfriend. He wants you to be his girlfriend.

Well, his fake girlfriend.

He would hold your hand. He would kiss you. He would touch your body in ways you convince yourself you don’t think of often.

“You’re the only girl I know who’s got a good enough poker face to go along with it. And honestly… you’re the only girl I really know well enough.”

His last admission shocks you. Namjoon seems like the womanizing type—one to bring a different girl home every night.

“That doesn’t explain why the fuck I would want to help you.”

Namjoon steps back and moves towards the coffee machine again.

“If you help me, I’ll take all your shitty cases that Jin is giving you.”

Your eyes narrow at the tall man. It seems too good to be true.

“How d'you know about them?”

Namjoon shrugs and grabs a mug full of freshly brewed expensive coffee.

“I can hear you complain to Jimin about it every day.”

You grumble under your breath, sucking on your teeth as you try to process the terms of Namjoon’s deal.

“So you want me to be your fake girlfriend for your family…” you muse.

“Yes,” he agrees. “And I’ll do all your worst cases for the next 2 months. I’ll even give you my next big one. I know you want that.”

God, he’s right. That’s all you want. A chance to prove yourself to Seokjin, to the company.

With an aggravated sigh, you relent.

“Fine! But it better be a good fucking case. And, I’m using your coffee maker every morning.”

Namjoon can’t help but chuckle, loving the fire in your voice.

“Deal?” He murmurs.

He holds out his hand to shake on it, and it takes you by surprise how warm and soft his large hands are once you slide your own into his grip.

“Deal.”

Jimin is not going to let you live this one down.

Jimin doesn’t let you live it down.

He’s sitting on your couch, legs crossed underneath him as he hoists his wine glass filled to the brim. He holds it away from his body as he shakes with laughter.

“You’re telling me,” he wheezes. “That you agreed to be Namjoon’s fake Christmas girlfriend? You hate that man!”

Flopping into the couch beside him, you sigh.

“Yeah, well, it was my only option. He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“Okay, Godfather,” Jimin snickers. “Lord knows you still want to bone that man, anyway.”

“Jimin!” You admonish. “I do not! And that wasn’t the deal!”

He sips at his red wine with an impish smile. You hate it when Jimin looks at you like that, like he can see behind the lie you’ve so carefully crafted of your hatred for Namjoon.

“Then tell me, what was the deal?”

You fiddle with the stem of your own wine glass, sighing.

“He’s offered to take all our shitty personal injury suits for the next two months. And he’s giving me his next big case.”

Jimin actually looks surprised—as if he didn’t expect Namjoon to provide a deal so worth the cost.

“Wow,” he breathes.

You nod in reply, taking a large gulp of the pinot grigio in your glass.

“You’re still going to fuck him though, I know it,” Jimin adds.

You splutter your wine from your mouth, hand reaching over to gently slap Jimin on his taut abdomen.

“Shut up!” You cry.

Jimin looks proud of himself, sipping his red wine gleefully while he settles further into your couch. Wine nights with Jimin is the highlight of your weeks. Together, you bitch over cases, coworkers, dating struggles, and eat too much cheese and cured meats and nurse a hangover the following day with brunch.

“Hey,” you say to Jimin as you set your wine down on the coffee table. “Did you ever talk to Yoongi?”

Jimin’s cheeks immediately turn a shade of rouge.

“Yoongi? Yoongi who?”

“Oh my god,” you groan. “Yoongi from IT. You stole my phone to call him today? To ask about my new computer?”

Jimin swallows a large swig of his wine.

“Oh. Yes, I did.”

“And?” You encourage the blonde to answer further.

“And he’s doing well,” Jimin replies demurely.

“Jimin!” You huff. “The computer?!”

Jimin makes an ‘O’ shape with his mouth and bites his lip.

“I… might have forgotten to ask.”

Your mouth drops open.

“You literally stole my phone out of my hands to call him! What did you talk about?!”

There’s his blush again. The shade of pink on Jimin’s cheeks would be adorable if you weren’t so flabbergasted by his answers.

“I have a date tomorrow night.” He takes another sip as you let the reply sink in.

“Oh. My. God.” You gasp, a smile now overtaking your features. “You have a crush on Min Yoongi!”

Jimin sets his wine glass down next to yours and turns to you.

“I had no idea if he was into me! But when I called, I totally forgot why I was calling him and we sort of just… started talking and next thing I know, he’s asking me out to dinner tomorrow night.”

You playfully slap at Jimin’s thigh.

“You little slut—using my phone to get yourself a date. On company time!”

Jimin sticks his tongue out at you, before grabbing a pillow and slapping you with the overstuffed cushion.

“At least I didn’t agree to be his fake girlfriend!”

It’s the sound of your phone ringing at 7:32 am that wakes you from your spot on the couch, wine glass still clutched in your hand.

“What the fuck?” You grumble, eyes blearily seeking the offending object disturbing your sleep.

Jimin grumbles next to you, kicking at your foot as if it will stop the phone from ringing.

“Stop,” he whines and cuddles into his fetal position. “Turn it ooooff.”

You locate your cell phone and groan as you recognize the name on the caller ID. Namjoon. What the fuck could he possibly be calling for? And why did he have to call at seven in the goddamn morning?

“What do you want?” You snap as you hold the phone to your cheek and throw yourself back onto the couch.

“Well, good morning to you, sunshine.”

Namjoon’s voice, as sexy and sultry as it sounds, still aggravates you.

“Why are you calling me? It’s Saturday. Its seven am.”

Namjoon chuckles and you fight the shiver that works through your spine at the sound.

“I tend to keep human hours on the weekend.”

You can’t hold back the sarcastic guffaw that escapes you.

“Okay, Mr. Perfect,” you sigh. “That doesn’t explain calling me.”

Jimin kicks at your foot again.

“Stop talking,” he grumbles.

God, Jimin is such a diva when he’s hungover.

“Meet me at the cafe on First Street,” Namjoon says casually. “I’ll tell you when you get here.”

“Right now?!” You ask, incredulous.

“I’m literally already here. Hurry before your coffee gets cold.”

You let out a whine that could rival a 5-year-old’s temper tantrum.

“Fuck you. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

There’s no care about your phone when you end the call and throw it to the floor. Jimin grumbles and rubs at his eyes.

“Why the fuck are you having phone sex with Namjoon so early in the morning?” He asks.

“Jimin, I swear to God.”

He wraps himself in the throw blanket and buries his face back into the couch while you stand and retreat to your bedroom to throw on some semblance of appropriate clothing for the occasion.

“Fucking Namjoon,” you grumble under your breath as you change into jeans and a sweater. “Fuck him and his stupid, sexy face. And his unbelievable ass. And his stupid, probably enormous penis. Man, I hate him.”

As you’re re-entering the living room and grabbing your important items (keys, wallet, lip gloss just in-case), Jimin pops his head out of his blanket cave.

“Where are you going?” He asks, suddenly less annoyed and more pathetic. “You’re leaving me?”

“I have to go meet Namjoon for coffee. I don’t know why, so don’t ask.”

“You’re really going to let me suffer here? Alone? With no coffee?”

You spin around to face your best friend, who’s giving you an absolutely soul-crushing pout and puppy eyes.

“Yes. Call Yoongi.”

His precious pout is wiped away, and a devious smirk takes its place.

“Great idea!” He says as he digs around for his phone. “Be careful out there! It’s icy! Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall on Namjoon’s dick.”

Your only reply is one singular middle finger in Jimin’s direction as you exit your apartment.

Namjoon can’t help but smile as he sips his warm coffee. The cafe is warm and bright, despite the chill outside.

Things feel peaceful. Tender flakes of snow trickle down outside and frost up the shop’s window. There’s something about this time of year that strikes him down to the core. Something cozy, something warm.

It’s odd to think this will be his first year not celebrating the holiday alone.

Even if it is... well, fake.

The bell over the door chimes an arrival, and Namjoon can tell by the grumbles and grunts and stomps of snowy boots that it’s you.

“Over here!” He calls, raising a hand and turning to face you.

Wow, he thinks. You look gorgeous, even without trying.

You hurry your way over to the booth and plop yourself on the opposite side, immediately lunging for the obvious mug of coffee waiting for you on the table. You don’t waste a minute gulping the liquid down your throat, then spluttering when you realize it’s still hot.

“I thought you said it was getting cold!” You cry, airing out your burnt tongue. Namjoon can’t help but imagine that tongue sliding up and down his cock.

Not now. Wrong time and place to get a boner.

Namjoon smiles as he sips his cappuccino.

“I got you a fresh one.”

You make a face, but your features soften. As if you’re pleased with the idea that Namjoon cared to freshen up your cup.

“Oh, well--”, you manage. “Thank you.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply, but merely tips his head. The silence is thick enough to cut with a knife. Normally, you’re both normally so wound up in aggravating the other that a moment of calm is strange, but not unwelcome.

“So, why the early morning wake up?” You finally ask, fiddling with the handle of the mug.

Namjoon settles his cup down.

“We need to get to know each other. Deep shit, you know. The shit that lovers would know about each other.”

He notices you, watches as you nibble at your lip. You try hard to hide it behind the mug you lift to your lips, but Namjoon notices.

“I’m hoping maybe we could spend the day together,” he adds. “I need to get some Christmas gifts for my family and… well, it’s rather lonely doing it on my own.”

There’s a slight smile at the ends of your lips.

“And you needed me at seven thirty in the morning to do that?”

He stifles a laugh.

“Like I said, I operate at regular human hours. Even on weekends,” he replies.

With a dramatic sigh, you agree.

“Fine,” you say. “I’m an open book. Ask me anything.”

He watches as you settle into the seat of the booth, hands gripping the warm mug like it’s a personal heater. He notices you’re only wearing jeans and a sweater--no properly warm clothing for the snow storm ahead. He’ll have to fix that, and soon.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” He asks.

You level a look.

“Spending it pretending to be in love with you.”

Namjoon can’t help but snort a laugh.

“I meant after that.”

You shrug as you settle back into the seat.

“I don’t like Christmas. I don’t do much other than force Jimin to kiss me under the mistletoe and watch shitty movies with a gallon of boxed wine.”

“Hmm,” he hums. “You’re sort of a Grinch.”

A scowl comes over your face.

“I am not! I just don’t buy into this whole ‘prove how much you love me by buying me things’ shit. It’s a big scheme, I tell you! Capitalist propaganda! They encourage you to spend all your money, and if you don’t, they shame and guilt you by telling you you don’t love your family enough.”

Namjoon can’t help but laugh as you rant. It’s what makes you such a talented lawyer—your ability to feel a passion so deep within you you’re able to convince a stone-faced jury of your side.

“Don’t laugh at me!” You cry. “I’m serious! My family doesn’t celebrate, I don’t celebrate. I’d rather just buy gifts for my loved ones when I see something they’d like. Why do we have to put a time of year on it?”

He shrugs and scooches his mug around the carbonate table.

“I suppose that makes sense,” he muses. “But you’re still a Grinch. And a Scrooge. You’ll definitely get visited by some Ghosts at midnight.”

“Ha ha,” you snark sarcastically. “Hilarious, Namjoon. Don’t tell me you’re a big festive guy.”

“Somewhat. It’s my Mom’s favorite holiday. It’s why she’s so bent out of shape about me having a girlfriend. Something about family and love and shit.”

You nod, understanding him completely. Your own mother, despite her reservations towards the holiday, still makes a fuss over your single status. There must be some Mom code to obsess over your children’s woeful dating life.

“Well, I say let’s get on with it then. Ready to hit the shops?” He asks.

You’re mid-sip of your finally cooled coffee and you send a desperate look to the man in front of you.

“Already?!”

“We’re burning daylight, baby.”

Namjoon stands and you can’t help but feel a roar of flames in your belly at the pet-name. Your cheeks are surely flaming up and you admonish yourself for getting so peaked about such a trivial name.

“Please don’t tell me we’re walking,” you murmur as you sneak a peek outside.

The snow is falling down harder now, and you’re dreadfully underdressed for the weather.

Namjoon tsks at your lack of outerwear, but then shakes his head.

“No, we’ll take my Range Rover.”

You roll your eyes and grimace.

“Of course. You have a fucking Nespresso machine and a Range Rover. Asshole.”

Namjoon doesn’t even think about it as he grabs your hand and laces his fingers in between yours. If anyone asked, he’d say it’s practice—to familiarize himself with the way your fingers slot between his own so it’s not such a foreign concept when he does it in front of his family.

“Yeah, but I’m your asshole now, princess.”

Christmas shopping with Namjoon is mostly painless.

Normally, you dread the lines and the crowds and the confusion and the expense.

But with Namjoon, you relax and banter away with the tall lawyer. You’re completely at ease as you walk through crowded aisles and sort through racks of cashmere sweaters and stacks of fuzzy blankets.

“Mom will love this, don’t you think?” Namjoon asks, holding up a thick, exquisite looking blanket.

You’re about to answer with an affirmative when you catch yourself. You don’t even know his mom. You’ve never met the woman. Why does it feel as if Namjoon is someone you’ve known your entire life?

Why do things feel so easy with him?

“Sure, Namjoon,” you reply. “Seems like something most mother’s would be into.”

He smiles at you. It’s a genuine smile too, one that nearly knocks you on your ass. Your body is sent into overdrive constantly. He holds your hand, he places his hand at the small of your back to guide you through a thick crowd. He calls you baby and princess and doll.

It’s confusing.

It’s amazing.

You can’t tell if you love it or hate it.

Namjoon pushes the shopping cart and walks beside you, chatting easily about his various aunts and uncles names that you likely must remember at some point but you just can’t think about anything but Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon.

You hate him. He stole that corner office from you. He’s going to take the promotion you want from right under your nose. He has a goddamn Nespresso in his office and a Range Rover.

And yet, you can’t help but fall in place next to him and listen to him tell stories of his childhood, weaving tales of uncles who snuck him his first sips of alcohol and aunts who spoil him rotten. He’s easy to listen to, a natural story-teller. Your body feels warm, as if you’re sitting on a large hearth by a roaring fire. He’s comforting.

It’s infuriating and wonderful all at once.

“And that’s when my cousin Jungkook got caught smoking cigarettes. My grandma beat our ass so bad I couldn’t sit for a day.”

Namjoon finishes his story and turns to look at you. You’ve been staring at the man for nearly a minute straight now.

“Hey,” his voice is soft. “You listening?”

You shake out of the trance Namjoon’s deep voice sends you into.

“Yeah!” You reply with a smirk. “Sounds like this Jungkook is a guy I’d like to meet.”

Namjoon sucks his teeth and nudges you.

“Hey, you’re my girlfriend, remember.”

You stick your tongue out at him playfully.

“Fake girlfriend. I’m still a single, desirable lady at the end of the day.”

Namjoon hesitates before answering. He wants to reply something snarky, something sarcastic and witty. But he takes a moment to pause, allows himself to fully immerse himself in you. Even hungover, in yesterday’s jeans and an old sweater, you’re still an absolute catch. You’re the definition of desirable and Namjoon can’t help but allow himself to desire.

“Hmm, is that what you call it?” He asks, now allowing the sarcasm to permeate his words. “I was thinking you’re more of the spinster, cat-lady type.”

“Hey!” You pout as you slap at his arm. “I’m allergic to cats!”

“But you don’t deny being a spinster.”

“Fuck you, Namjoon.”

He grins and pushes the carts towards the candle aisle, a sure-fire gift for his aunties.

“In due time, my love.”

By the time Christmas Eve arrives, you’ve spent nearly every day with Namjoon. At work, he brings you fresh coffee from his Nespresso and buys you lunch. You’ve even landed his big case, an incredibly complex lawsuit that will showcase your skills. Namjoon gives you pointers and space to talk through the case with him.

Namjoon is, in fact, simply being kind. And it unsettles you.

Your heart and brain are at war with each other constantly. You should hate him, loathe him. He’s going to nail that promotion regardless of what you prove to Seokjin.

But your heart tells you he deserves it. He’s an incredible attorney and has earned every ounce of respect. You want Namjoon to get that promotion just to see that smile on his face. He’d do incredible things as Seokjin’s protege to take over the firm.

You hate to admit it, but Namjoon has melted the ice around your heart. And you’re dreading the day after all this is over, because it will be the day Namjoon stops holding you close and pressing soft kisses to your temple. It will be the day he stops pretending this is all real.

It’s Christmas Eve and you’re sitting in Namjoon’s expensive Range Rover, plush leather seat toasty from the built-in seat warmer. You can’t help but marvel at the way the oncoming headlights brighten up Namjoon’s features as he drives you down a snowy mountain lane. They always hold the Kim family holiday party at Namjoon’s late grandfather’s cabin in the mountains, a quiet getaway for the family to gather and spend the night together to wake up on Christmas morning and gather around for presents and food.

Which means waking up to Kim Namjoon.

It’s something you’ve dreamt of often, but denied yourself any actual possibility of it. Namjoon was always out of reach, and it was easier to hate him for his success he rightfully deserved than it was to admit the feelings that were always inside.

And now, although it’s artificial, you can’t bear to think of not spending your time with Namjoon anymore.

You steal a glance again at him, and smile as you hear his faint humming. He loves Christmas music. You learned that early in the week during another early morning coffee and ‘get to know you’ before work. Namjoon couldn’t stop singing Mariah Carey’s classic pop song under his breath as it played over the speakers in the cafe.

“It’s so pretty up here,” you muse as you force your vision away from Namjoon’s gorgeous face to the snowy scenery outside.

The snow is falling gently, not enough to cause a blizzard but enough to make it seem like you’re trapped in a picturesque snow-globe. Leaving the city and entering the magical forest stirs an emotion inside you you hadn’t felt in some time.

It’s Christmas Eve and there’s just something magical.

Ugh. Unbelievable.

Namjoon has even made you actually enjoy Christmas.

He nods. “Yeah, it’s my favorite place in the world, I think.”

“I can see why,” you sigh. “It looks like a painting.”

Namjoon glances over at you peering through the window. His heart hammers in his chest hard as your glittering eyes bounce around from tree to tree, a pretty smile on your face. The diamond ring in his pocket feels like it weighs a literal ton and he nibbles at his lip.

He bought it for the showmanship of it all, initially. It was his first purchase he made when he set up this whole rouse.

But now, it feels real. It feels like he’s really about to get on one knee and ask you, the girl he’s absolutely head over heels for, to marry him.

And then it will be over.

He’ll make up some story to tell his mom about how it didn’t work out and you’ll go back to being his coworker, and nothing more.

Namjoon can’t fight the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Nothing more.

He pulls into the driveway before you even have time to realize you’re there. He puts the car in park and smiles over at you.

He looks so cute in his puffy winter coat, hair pushed to the side and a smile that’s all dimples and cheeks.

Fuck.

“We’re here,” he whispers. “You ready?”

Suddenly, the nerves of meeting your fake boyfriend’s entire family slap you right in the face. You hope that you’re a good enough actress to get Namjoon through the night and into the morning.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He nods and squeezes your hand, an unspoken comforting ‘I got you’.

Namjoon gathers his wrapped gifts and stacks them all in his arms, ignoring your pleas and giggles to help carry them in.

“No, no,” he assures. “I have to make sure my mom sees me being manly and helpful.”

As if on cue, the front door opens and Mrs. Kim is bursting out into the snowy night.

“Namjoon!” She shrieks, completely overjoyed. The rest of the family is standing by the door, eyeing you carefully with smiles and whispers. You pray to whatever Christmas God that’s listening that you can do this.

Namjoon sets the pile of gifts down just in time to wrap his delicate and tiny mother in his arms, hugging her tightly while she gleefully buries her face into her tall son’s chest.

“Oh, my son, I’ve missed you.”

Namjoon kisses the crown of her head and smiles.

“Missed you too, eomma.”

The scene has you misty-eyed and you swipe at your eyes to stop the tears. There’s no way you’re ruining the fantastic makeup you did for the occasion, but the reunion of Namjoon and his mother is heart-warming. He clearly cares for his mother more than he would outwardly admit.

Namjoon and his mother unwrap from each other and Namjoon turns towards you.

“Everyone, this is ____,” he breathes. “My girlfriend.”

His mother’s gleeful squeals now turn to you, and within an instant she’s gathering you up in just as tight of a hug as she did to her son.

“Oh, darling, we are so happy to meet you,” she beams.

The excitement in her voice makes you feel bad—like you’re conning an old woman out of her retirement. You’re instilling a sense of hope in the kind woman, and you can’t help but send Namjoon a look as you wrap your arms around her and return the embrace. His eyes sparkle with something you can’t read.

“I’m happy to meet you too,” you smile as you pull apart. “Thank you for letting me come.”

“No thanks necessary,” she admonishes with a wink. “We had to beg Namjoon to bring you. It seems he wants to keep you all to himself.”

“Eomma!” Namjoon snaps. “Be appropriate!”

She nudges you with her elbow knowingly, which makes your cheeks flame hot, before she leads the way back into the house.

“Come in, come in! Let’s get out of this snow.”

Namjoon encourages you to step inside with a gentle hand at the small of your back—a touch that makes your body light up brighter than a Christmas tree.

“Thank you,” he whispers in your ear from behind. You can feel the warmth of his lips and your body reacts.

How is it that any simple act makes you desperately horny for the man? You pray for some respite from your sexual frustration over the next day. How are you going to last over 24 hours?

Namjoon deposits his massive haul of gifts under the tree and returns to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to bring you close. He introduces you to uncles and aunts and cousins. He even introduces you to his infamous cousin, Jungkook, who smirks at you in a way that makes Namjoon pull you in closer to his body.

“Are you doing okay?” Namjoon finally asks after the rush of relatives greeting you dies down. He turns you towards him, to face him directly with his hands on either of your shoulders. “You’re killing it.”

You can’t help but smile. Namjoon’s family is all incredibly kind and funny. They welcome you into the family with ease and it chips away a little more each time at your heart.

Because this is all fake.

One day, Namjoon really will have a girlfriend to bring to Christmas and to show off to his relatives and it won’t be you. You’ll be back at your apartment, watching shitty TV re-runs and binging on Chinese takeout, as you do every year. It’s a jab at your heart each time the bitter truth rears its ugly head.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I’m great.”

“Look!” Jungkook shouts. “They’re standing under the mistletoe!”

Namjoon blushes a shade of red that likely matches a blush on your own cheeks. Sure enough, the green branches of the mistletoe taunt you from above.

You’ve never kissed Namjoon before. In all the skinship and closeness of the last week, you’ve still yet to close the gap to kissing the man.

“Oh, come on Kook, that’s a stupid tradition,” Namjoon murmurs awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Jungkook smirks as he steps up next to you.

“Well, if you’re not going to do it, I’d be more than happy to take your place.”

Jungkook wraps a loose arm around you and gives you a charming smile. He must be very popular with the ladies, you think. That’s a charming smile.

“Hey!” Namjoon grabs for your hand and tugs you out of Jungkook’s predatory gaze. “She’s my girlfriend.”

Namjoon looks at you for a moment, assessing your comfort level with everything about to take place. His lips look so inviting, so plush and warm. Now that you’re thinking about kissing him, you can’t help but focus on the way his lips pucker so gently and naturally.

And then it happens. Namjoon lowers his face towards you and it feels as if the world is in slow-motion. It’s happening.

The first press of his lips is soft and conservative. You take a split second to register, but instinctively you press against his lips with determination and wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.

He groans softly as you trail your tongue out to seek purchase in his mouth, and he opens for you without hesitation. His hands grip at your waist and bring your body flush against his. You can feel his cock twitching and rising from the kiss that’s gone from innocent and playful to passionate and deep. It feels like the world around you has stopped and the only thing that matters is Namjoon, his mouth, his body against your own. He tastes like hot chocolate and peppermint, and you want more, more.

“Oh my god, stop,” Jungkook’s voice shatters your illusion of being all alone with Namjoon. “Now you’re just showing off.”

Namjoon pulls away from you, eyes dazed as he tries to right himself.

“You two are just so perfect for each other,” Namjoon’s mother says, who’s suddenly appeared in Jungkook’s place. “Let me show you your bedroom.”

“Oh, we’re sharing?” You ask without thought. It’s a large house, with ample bedrooms surely for you to have your own space.

Namjoon nudges you in the ribs gently, eyes widening and mouthing a ‘what the fuck do you mean?’

“Of course dear, don’t be silly,” his mother replies with an eyebrow waggle and a chuckle. “I remember when your father and I were dating. He would sneak into my room after my parents went to bed and keep me up all night long. Your grandfather would ask me if I had terrible dreams that night, because I looked so tired.”

Namjoon makes a face. “Eomma, please,” he begs. “Please don’t talk about my parents like that.”

As his mother guides you down a long hallway, your mind is whirring with too many thoughts of Namjoon, of sharing a bedroom with Namjoon, of seeing his sleeping face and waking up next to him. It’s all too much, too overwhelming. You pray there’s a couch in the room you could sleep on, because you’re far too weak and you’d rather fight the desperation in your body than face the fact that you want nothing more than to curl right into Namjoon’s strong arms and let him hold you all night to sleep.

Fuck.

“Here we are!”

His mother opens the door with grace, and flicks on the light. The room is beautiful in its simplicity. A king sized bed, a fireplace, and a balcony with a view of the sprawling snowy scene outside. It’s cozy and warm and decorated with its own Christmas tree.

“Wow,” is all you can muster.

“Aish, Mom,” Namjoon sighs as he drops his bags. “You didn’t need to do all of this for us.”

Mrs. Kim holds his hand in both of hers. “Well, I know how special this Christmas is going to be,” she winks. “I want you to enjoy your time here. Now, I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. Dinner is in an hour, so ‘freshen up’!”

Another wink, and Namjoon makes another face. She definitely wants grandchildren, that much is for certain.

She closes the door behind her and you’re left standing in the room, overnight bag in hand.

“This is—Wow, this is amazing.”

You’ve never experienced Christmas like this—with decorations and warmth and family. It’s as if the love of the Kim family permeates the very walls of the expansive cabin, like it’s built into the foundation itself. For a moment, you allow yourself to soak it all in. This is all yours. It’s your Christmas and you finally understand why so many make such a fuss over it. The results are nothing short of remarkable.

“Yeah, she really does the most,” Namjoon laughs.

He takes the bag from your hand without your notice and you step towards the balcony to peer into the night. The landscape looks as if everything has been covered in soft marshmallow. The snow is untouched—picture perfect.

“I’ve never had anything like this before.”

Namjoon settles your bag and his on the bed, watching as you soak in your own wonder. The smile on your face is not one he sees often, one of pure joy. Namjoon swallows hard as he realizes he wants to be the one to always put that smile on your face.

“Not such a Scrooge after all, eh?”

You turn from the still-life view outside and back to Namjoon, where he stands at the foot of the bed. He looks so different outside the office. He’s wearing skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, his puffy jacket hanging by the door. No cream suit, no slicked back hair or shoes shiny enough to see your reflection. Just simply Namjoon.

He’s no longer the man who steals the limelight in the office. He’s no longer the man you see as your adversary or your rival.

He’s the man who’s showing you the magic of Christmas, the spirit of love and kindness that embodies the season.

He’s the man you’ve fallen in love with.

And yet, he’s the man who will leave once this is over and return to his proper life, and you to yours. He’ll return to sleeping with models and movie starlets, and you’ll return to binge watching Great British Bake-Off with Jimin and a carton of Chicken Tikka Masala.

And Christmas will never feel as special as it does now.

So, you’re determined to soak in it for a little longer. It’s going to hurt regardless, so why not push that hurt off until tomorrow and allow yourself to pretend you live the lie you’re spinning for Namjoon’s family?

“I think I’ll just freshen up and change into my dinner outfit, then?” You ask out loud, grabbing for your overnight bag and heading towards the ensuite.

Namjoon, who expected a witty retort, takes a moment to reply.

“Oh,” he coughs. “Yeah, sure. I’ll err—, I’ll just get ready out here.”

You quickly escape into the bathroom, closing the door and resting on it as you exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

The tension in the bedroom with Namjoon was too thick, too powerful, especially after the kiss you just shared. His cock had been there, straining in his jeans as you licked into his mouth. The kiss felt so natural, as if you had always kissed Namjoon like that. Your heart beats loud and hard in your chest just from the thought of it.

You really needed to get a handle over yourself. You still have dinner to get through, and an entire night in a bedroom with Namjoon. A bed with Namjoon.

No, you won’t allow yourself to go that far. You can pretend you’re his girlfriend, but all thoughts of his delectable body doing scintillating things to yours is strictly off-limits. You shake all thoughts of a thick, heavy cock sliding into your mouth and warm hands spreading you open, and set about fixing your makeup and changing into the gorgeous cocktail dress you purchased for the occasion. It wasn’t often you got to get dressed up. The emerald green velvet dress clings to your body and highlights your curves. It’s a sexy dress, definitely, but also appropriate for a formal evening with your boyfriend’s parents.

Well, your fake boyfriend. Right.

After fixing your hair and buckling your heels, you take one last glimpse in the mirror for good luck and exit the room.

Your breath is nearly knocked out of your lungs as you see Namjoon.

You’ve seen him dressed up for court and for TV appearances millions of times, but you’ve never seen him like this.

He wears a blood red button up without a tie, a few buttons open to emphasize the casual look, tucked into the tightest and sexiest slacks you’ve ever seen. They hug his thighs and sit at a spot on his waist that you just know is rippling with cut lines from his work in the gym. His hair is tucked back with a bit of hairspray, and he’s fixing the sleeves of his shirt when he sees you.

His eyes widen and his hands fall to his sides as he soaks in your appearance.

An absolute vision.

He can see the gentle valley between your breasts and the way your dress pushes up your cleavage and displays your collar. The dress follows the delicate curve of your waist and hips and ends at your knee, but teases him with a glimpse of thigh that has him wiping his mouth in case he’s drooling.

“You look incredible,” Namjoon murmurs as you step closer.

“So do you.”

You swallow hard as he continues closer to you, breathing harshly as he stands right in front of you. You could reach out and unbuckle his expensive slacks and fist his cock right there. You’d fall on your knees for him, if he asked.

There’s a moment of silence as Namjoon’s face inches closer and closer to your own, each unable to verbalize just how desperate either of you feel for the other.

“Namjoon, I—,” you start. You want to tell him. You want to tell him everything—that you don’t want this to be fake, that you want this to be real, and you want to be his and his forever.

“Yes?”

You swallow hard, shaken by just how close his lips are to yours. He’s inches away and all you can focus on is the way his plush lips look and how well they fit against your own under the mistletoe.

“I just—, I really um, I’m just very…”

You’re not making sense. Comprehension of language is quickly soaring out the window because the only words you know are ‘Please, for the love of God, kiss me and make me yours’, but you can’t bring yourself to speak them out loud.

Namjoon’s hand cups your cheek, as if he can tell what you’re trying to say.

“Yeah,” he breathes. The inches between you turn to centimeters, to bare millimeters. Your eyes flutter close as you feel his breath dance over your lips and your heart beats so loud you’re sure the entire household can hear it. He’s right there and moves in to close the distance—

“Knock Knock!!”

The forceful, cheery voice of cousin Jungkook forces both of you to jump away from each other as if you’ve touched a burning stove. Your head feels light, like you’ve forgotten to breathe for the last ten minutes and you’ve suddenly taken in too much air.

The wooden door squeaks open and Jungkook pokes his head in, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Auntie sent me to get you. It’s dinnertime!”

Namjoon rubs his face frustratedly. “Yes, thank you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook doesn’t leave, however. He smiles at you and winks.

“Would you like an escort to dinner, madame? You look tastier than the roast beef downstairs.”

A blush creeps over your cheeks as Namjoon storms to the door where his cousin laughs.

“That’s enough, Kook. We’ll be down in a minute.”

He sends you one more grin, then retreats from the door and closes it behind him.

“Sorry about that,” Namjoon apologizes. You’re not sure what he’s apologizing for—Jungkook, or the moment before.

“It’s alright. Let’s go?”

Namjoon nods and holds out his hand with a smile.

“Let’s go, girlfriend.”

Dinner with the Kim family is as delightful as every other interaction with them has been. They’re polite and funny and ask questions about your life and your family.

They ask how you met Namjoon (at work), what your favorite quality about him is (his smile and his ass), and what your first date together was (coffee at seven in the morning).

You tell stories of Namjoon in the office, of your best friend Park Jimin who’s secretly trying to date the IT manager, of your parents and Christmases past.

By the time dessert is served, Namjoon’s mother looks at you as if you’ve put the very stars in the sky.

Namjoon doesn’t miss that look either. He can see the way his family is falling in love with you and somewhere deep in his stomach, he feels the guilt rising. All of this is a lie. Not only is he going to break his own heart, but every heart of his family member’s too.

“We’re all just so overjoyed that Namjoon has found someone to share his life with,” his mom speaks softly. It’s the first time she’s been thoughtful and quiet. She’s a woman who’s larger than life, you’ve found, so the softness in her tone strikes a chord. “You’re absolutely perfect for him. I’ve never seen him happier.”

Fuck.

“Thank you,” you murmur sincerely to his mother. “I’ve never been happier.”

Namjoon peers up from where he’s been pushing around his uncle’s famous chocolate cake on his plate to watch as you speak.

“Truthfully, I never cared much for Christmas. I thought it was a rubbish holiday and spent it alone every year with a bottle of wine and some takeout. Namjoon really changed that for me,” you smile at the man and place your hand in his lap to hold his free hand. “He showed me more about Christmas in one week than I’ve felt in my entire life.”

Namjoon’s mom wipes away an errant tear and he squeezes your hand under the table.

“I guess the Grinch’s heart has grown 3 sizes, after all.”

Namjoon’s joke lightens the soft mood, and suddenly there’s chatter around as the family members move about to wash dishes and clean up the mess of dinner. Everyone leaves the table except for you and Namjoon.

“That was some good acting,” he whispers with a sad smile.

“Right,” you whisper back, nibbling your lip anxiously. “Acting, of course.”

You should have thought through the bedroom sharing thing more.

Because sharing a bedroom is one thing.

And sharing a bed is another.

And of course, the only pajamas you thought to bring tonight is a very sexy long shirt that says “no coffee, no talking” with a bedazzled pair of shushing lips. That’s it. Just a single shirt. Not even a pair of shorts or pajama pants.

You slip into the bed first, as far onto one side of it as possible. It’s a king sized bed, and it still feels too intimate, too close.

Namjoon exits the bathroom after his shower, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of flannel pajamas, leaving his bare chest on display.

Sweet lord in heaven, you nearly cry out loud. He’s absolutely ripped, pecs defined and droplets of water from his hair streaming down. You want to chase each drop with your tongue and circle back again. You shut your eyes tight and clench your teeth. Why, oh why, does he have to look so fucking sexy at a time like this?

Namjoon sees you at the edge of the bed, shutting your eyes closed like you’re a shy schoolgirl afraid to see a naked man’s body. He feels guilty for making you be here. He knows you’ve likely got better things to do than spend time with a man you openly hate.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes for nothing in particular.

You ignore it. Instead, you’re trying to think of every un-sexy thing in the world you can possibly imagine. Taxes, a bunch of bees, old people, shark attacks.

There’s absolutely nothing that can stop the image of Namjoon’s perfectly sculpted body from bursting into your mind. You’re nearly pleading with yourself to just go to sleep and contemplate how hard you’d need to hit your head to knock yourself out as fast as possible.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he says as he grabs a small throw blanket from the closet and throws it to the ground by the fire.

It snaps you from your musings of how best to forget how badly you want to suck Namjoon’s cock through his pajama pants.

“What?” You sit up in the posh bed and finally make eye-contact. “Why? It’s freezing. There’s a literal snowstorm outside.” You motion to the window of the balcony. What was once a gentle snowfall is now a full-on winter storm.

“There’s a fire. I’ll be fine, I sleep hot anyway.” Namjoon’s voice is low and without energy. He almost sounds sad.

God, is being with you that hard for him? You know you’re just the artificial replacement until he has the real thing, but you’d actually hoped Namjoon had found it as comforting and warm as you had.

“Namjoon,” you sigh. “This is a king-sized bed. You don’t need to be waking up with back pain because you gallantly slept on the floor.”

To emphasize your point, you tug back the blankets on the other side, beckoning him to join.

He hesitates for a moment, as if he’s weighing the pro’s and con’s and sliding into bed next to you in his mind, then stands and pads his way on the plush carpet towards the bed and slips in.

There’s an entire football field of distance between you two in the bed, but it feels like he’s right beside you. You imagine sliding in right next to him, wrapping your arms around his taut chest and pressing soft kisses to his stomach.

You squeeze your eyes closed again. Stop it, you horny slut.

“Thank you, again.” Namjoon breaks the silence. “I really appreciate you helping me out.”

“Yeah,” you swallow hard. “Of course. What else was I going to do? Jimin’s probably sucking Yoongi’s dick right now, so I’d be watching baking shows alone.”

Namjoon laughs for a moment, then quiets.

“You know, I don’t even really want that promotion at work.”

You’re surprised by the sudden change in topic, but you turn over to face Namjoon.

“What?! Really?”

Namjoon nods and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t think I’m that good of an attorney to get it, anyway.”

His statement makes you sit up in bed again, staring at the man in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Namjoon? You’re the best lawyer in the firm.”

Namjoon says nothing, just turns to stare at you curiously as you continue.

“You’re like… literally better than Seokjin, too. The way you handled the Taehyung case was nothing short of historical. Like, that was an impossible case, and you nailed it. That was your ‘OJ’ case, you know?”

Namjoon barks a laugh.

“My what?”

“Your OJ case!” You use your hands to emphasize the importance of what you’re saying. “Like, they’ll write about you and how impossible the odds were of winning that case. And you won it! Not even Seokjin could have won that case.”

He’s silent again, watching as you speak directly from your heart with all the fire and passion you feel about the things you care about. It’s what makes you such an incredible lawyer, too.

“Wow,” he breathes. “Thank you.”

You settle back down from your excitement, suddenly bashful at how fanatical you became.

“You’re welcome,” you murmur. “You deserve that promotion. And the office.”

Namjoon smirks.

“And the Nespresso?”

Your eyes narrow and send a glare to him he can see even with the faintest of light in the room.

“No, no one deserves the Nespresso, except for me.”

He chuckles and settles down into his pillows.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

“Goodnight, Namjoon.”

There’s a beat of silence and your eyes flutter shut easily. It’s quiet, and all you can hear is the crackle of the log in the fireplace and the wind blowing past the balcony windows as the storm outside rages.

“Oh,” Namjoon whispers again. “And, Merry Christmas.”

You can’t fight the smile that creeps onto your face.

“Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

“Happy Christmas!” A voice bellows through your bedroom at approximately seven fifteen am.

You groan, immediately grimacing and burying your face into your firm, warm pillow.

“Nooooo,” you whine, trying to hide from the offending noise.

Namjoon shakes awake, and notices Jungkook standing at the bedroom door once again.

“It’s time for presents!” He giddily explains. “And, they gave me the job of waking you two up.”

“Of course,” Namjoon yawns.

“You look a little wrapped up,” Jungkook smirks, eyeing your sleeping body. “I’ll give you two a minute. Don’t get distracted.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes and watches as the door closes, before he turns his attention towards you.

Somehow, in the middle of the night, you’ve scooched yourself to his side of the bed and draped your body around his. Your face is buried in his chest and your legs are haphazardly intertwined in his own.

He bites his lip. His cock is rock solid, not just from his usual morning wood, but from the way he can feel your tits through your shirt, and from the sight of your pink panties. Namjoon wants to take them off with his teeth and bury his face in your delicious cunt, and his cock is nearly screaming at him to get on with it.

“Hey,” he whispers to you, actively ignoring the demon that is his turgid length. “Wake up.”

This causes you to cling harder to his chest, rubbing your sleepy face on him.

“What is it with you and early mornings?” You ask, blearily raising your head to peer at him judgementally.

Namjoon bites his lip, curious about your reaction to the tight embrace you’ve got on him. He doesn’t want to say anything, doesn’t want to break the spell. Frankly, he wants to push your sleep shirt up and stuff you full of his cum.

“Merry Christmas?” He offers shyly.

You take a full minute to recognize what’s happening.

You’re no longer on your edge of the bed. You’re wrapped around the man like a koala, legs strewn over him without care and clinging to him like he’s a lifeline.

“Oh!” You gasp as you jerk out of his grasp.

In your movement, your leg brushes over an obvious tent in Namjoon’s pants, making him groan softly. You shut your eyes, embarrassed at how disgustingly horny you are for the man who’s not even interested in you sexually.

“Christ, I’m so sorry,” your cheeks flame bright red and you scoot further from him.

“No, no, don’t be,” Namjoon wheezes as he tries to fix himself. “It’s fine. It’s more than fine. It’s great. It happens. Don’t worry.”

He continues to stammer out reassurances as he leaves the bed and bolts into the bathroom to fix his unruly tented pants, leaving you sitting atop the bed washed with shame.

“Fucking hell,” you whisper to yourself as you rub at your cheeks. “Get a grip of yourself.”

Inside the bathroom, it only takes Namjoon a few fisted jerks of his cock and the mental image of you beneath him, begging for him, until he’s silently cumming on an expensive towel. He bites his free hand to stifle the moans he makes as his cock pulses.

By the time he arrives back in the bedroom, you’ve changed into a hoodie and yoga leggings that accentuate your ass so delectably that Namjoon thinks about turning right back into the bathroom for a second round.

“I’m sorry!” You nearly shout when he walks into the room. “About the bed. You were warm and I was cold. That’s all.”

Nmajoon simply nods, doesn’t want to have to explain how he wishes he could wake up like that every day. Doesn’t want to describe in vivid detail how he’d wake you up with his tongue buried deep in your cunt.

“Let me grab a shirt and we’ll head out, yeah?”

Your eyes dance over the defined ridges of his body, a little crest-fallen at the idea that this might be the last time you see him shirtless, but you nod anyway.

“Yeah.”

The ring box sits in a deceptively large box beneath the tree. Namjoon wrapped it last night and hide it at the very back. His heartbeat hammers in his ears as his family passes around gifts and opens each with squeals of delight.

His mother gave him new ties for the office, ones that Namjoon prefers. She’s even gifted you with jewelry, which makes your eyes water at the sentiment.

It all begins to be too much. It’s harder and harder to hold back the tears as each of Namjoon’s family members gives you gifts. It doesn’t matter the value, not at all. The fact that they specifically set out to include you in their gift-unwrapping makes your heart snap in two.

This is all too much, it’s too real.

It’s everything you never dreamed you could have. A loving partner who lets you sit in the space of his legs and rubs your arms soothingly. A family who goes out of their way to include you in the abundance of love and company. A cabin so warm and cozy.

The tears don’t stop.

It’s at the end of the gift exchange that you finally allow yourself to breathe.

“There’s one more,” Namjoon whispers as he moves from behind you and fetches a large box from behind the tree. “It’s for you, princess.”

Curiously, and suspiciously, you eye him as he sets the enormous gift in your lap. You had done nearly all his Christmas shopping with him, and can’t remember a single thing he would have gotten for you.

“I hope it’s the Nespresso from your office,” you snark with a smile. His family members all laugh and exchange knowing looks to each other.

Namjoon doesn’t think he can breathe. He watches as you begin to carefully unwrap the large box, which reveals another box, slightly smaller. He can’t help but grin as you continue to unwrap the nesting-doll style gift until you’re down to the smallest one, the one that holds the ring box.

With one last tear of paper, your eyes widen as you recognize the velvet box.

“Oh--,” you breathe as you delicately pry open the gift.

Inside sits a dazzling and gorgeous diamond ring. It catches the light from the fire and sparkles like a firecracker.

“Oh my god,” you whimper as the tears flow again.

He’s proposing.

Namjoon settles himself onto one knee and tucks an errant piece of hair behind your ears.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew from day one that you were always the girl I wanted to marry,”

Namjoon’s speech sends daggers to your heart. He’s so convincing for something so counterfeit.

“I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, much longer than we’ve been together. You’re who I want to come home to every night, and who I want to wake up with every morning.”

It hurts. It hurts so badly that you’re crying even harder as he continues to speak. His family must think you’re simply overcome with emotion and love that the crying doesn’t give it away, but inside you’re absolutely dying.

There’s no way you can recover from this.

Tomorrow, Namjoon will take the ring back to where he got it from and return to what he had before. He’ll leave you behind, broken and hopelessly in love with a man who faked a relationship so well that you fell for it, hard.

“____, will you marry me?”

You take several large, gulping gasps to reply. You can’t shatter the illusion. Namjoon’s parents are weeping with joy, while his relatives record the moment on their phones and wipe away errant tears. Even Jungkook looks soft, proud of his cousin for taking the next step in his life.

Oh, how you wish this were all real.

“Yes,” you lie with a smile. “Yes, Namjoon, of course!”

Namjoon grins and pulls you to standing, gathering you in his arms as he hugs you tight. His family cheers and hollers in the background, and you sob into his shoulder as you cling to him.

He easily slides the diamond ring out of the box and onto your finger, where it sits and taunts you. The weight is heavy, and you whimper at the realization that this will never be for you. It will sit atop a pretty model’s finger sometime soon, when Namjoon resumes his regular life.

“Oh, my darlings, I am so happy for you!” Namjoon’s mother appears and wraps you both in a hug, weeping and kissing cheeks. “We must discuss planning!”

It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. The tears and weeping turn to wracking sobs, which quiets the family as they watch you hold your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize through your grief. “I—I just need a moment.”

Without another word, you turn from the scene and bolt back towards the bedroom.

It’s silent and Namjoon’s heart sinks.

This must be too much for you, too much for you to pretend to love him. He knew it was too much and he should have discussed it with you beforehand.

“She’s just a little err--,” Namjoon tries. “Easily emotional. I’ll go check on her.”

His family understands as Namjoon hurries towards the bedroom and gently opens the door.

You’re sitting over your overnight bag, trying to shove any clothing into it you can, while you sob openly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I should have told you. I sort of... told my mom I’d be proposing to my girlfriend.”

There’s pain in your eyes as you snap your head up to look at him. It nearly destroys him.

“You should have warned me!” You gasp. “Namjoon, I can’t do this.”

Namjoon lowers his head and shoves his hands into his pockets of his pajama pants.

“I get it. I know you want to go back to your regular life. I can take you home now.”

You’re silent for a moment, standing and moving towards the man.

“Don’t you get it, Namjoon?”

He raises his head to look at you curiously, brow knitted together with confusion.

“I’m in love with you, you asshole!” You cry, pushing at his chest. “I can’t continue to pretend this is real anymore. I love you, I absolutely love you and I can’t go on watching you pretend you love me too. It’s too much for me to handle.”

Namjoon’s world freezes in time as he watches you slide the ring off your finger. He grasps your hand to stop you, his eyes boring into your own.

“I never had to pretend.”

Before you can speak, Namjoon cups your cheek and pulls you in close, mouth sealing over your own in a desperate kiss.

You don’t fight it, not at all. You sink into his grasp and kiss him back with fervor, with all the pent-up emotions you’ve held back all this time.

“I’m in love with you,” he whispers as he pulls away from the kiss. “I meant every single word I said.”

More tears stream down your cheeks, and Namjoon is quick to wipe them away with his thumb.

“I know it’s maybe too soon for us to really be engaged, but I—I want that, with you,” he adds. “I want you to be my girlfriend… for real.”

“Are you being serious right now?” You ask as your hands cling to Namjoon’s waist.

He can’t help but to laugh, nodding in reassurance as he leans down to press his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

“Never been more serious in my life.”

“I can’t believe you’re mine,” Joon murmurs into the nape of your neck.

You were supposed to be driving home to your apartment now, back to real life, but the snowstorm raged on and Namjoon decided it might be best to spend yet another night in the cabin. Together. As a couple. A real couple.

You didn’t put up much of a fight.

He’s pressing soft kisses into your tender skin as he closes the door to the bedroom.

“All mine, all mine.” He chants it like a mantra.

You’re trying to maneuver your way into the dark bedroom, only guided by the light from the fireplace. Namjoon stops you and pulls away from your neck, eyes soaking in every inch of you.

“You have no idea what I’ve been dying to do to you,” he speaks after a moment of appreciating your beauty.

“Hmm, I think I have some idea,” you say, a finger at Namjoon’s chest, directing him towards the bed. “I’ve been dying to suck your cock, Joon,” you whisper in his ear as he makes his way backwards. “Will you let me?”

Namjoon nods in a daze as he sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you kneel. Your eyes are full of hope, full of lust. It makes his cock harden further.

“Please do,” he breathes. “I’ve wondered what you’d look like with your mouth full of my dick.”

You smile as you tug at his flannel pajama pants, pulling them down thick thighs and calves until they’re completely off. Your mouth waters at the sight before you. Namjoon’s cock is thick, head weeping with pre-cum and straining hard against his taut chest. He’s been working out more, you can tell. His arms are full and strong, and his chest is so firm and defined.

He’s an entire three-course meal.

Before you move closer to his cock, Namjoon stops you.

“Take your shirt off.”

You comply easily, already settling well into an obedient role. He discards the shirt to the side and marvels at your breasts. He can’t wait to mark them up, suck them until you’re crying.

“Perfect,” he sighs. “You’re fucking perfect.”

He allows you to resume your work, eyeing the length of his cock before wrapping a hand around it and gently pumping.

“Shit,” he breathes as his head falls back. “I’ve dreamt about how it’d feel having my cock in your hands.”

“What else have you dreamed about?” You ask with a teasing smile, bringing your lips to the tip to paint tiny stripes. He tastes salty, somewhat earthy, and the pre-cum that’s gathered at the top gets swept up by your tongue.

Namjoon can’t believe how lucky he is. Can’t believe how incredible it feels to have you here, licking at his cock like a lollipop. He’s enchanted by the way your delicate tongue swirls around his head, testing and teasing.

“You look so good, princess,” he whispers as he tucks stray hair behind your ears.

You’re encouraged by his sweet-talk and soon descend to take his cock fully in as far as you can go. You’re definitely out of practice, but you steel yourself up to take him completely to the back of your throat. Namjoon’s desperate moans and cursing only encourages you further.

Soon enough, you’ve started a rhythm of bobbing your head and swirling your tongue and pumping your hand down his thick length. The noises leaving your mouth are sinful—slurping and sucking and whining around him. Namjoon’s got a hand on the back of your head, holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail and coaxing your bouncing head further down his cock.

“Oh, shit, baby,” he grits through a tight jaw. “I’m gonna cum baby girl, fuuuuckkk—oh god, yes baby, just like that.”

You slurp and swallow around his cock as much as you can, head bobbing at a frantic pace while you cast your eyes upwards to the man to watch him come apart. He meets your eye contact and loses it at the fire burning in your beautiful eyes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he gasps as his cock pulses. “Cumming, baby—ohhhh, shit, take it all, baby.”

After slowing your pace completely, you sweetly moan around his length as his salty cum splatters on your tongue. Bringing Namjoon to climax with your mouth is already one of your favorite hobbies, and you’re desperate to do it again.

When he’s completely spent in your mouth, you pop off carefully and present your tongue to your boyfriend, who smiles.

“You gonna swallow my cum, baby girl?” He asks, cupping your cheek sweetly.

You nod in reply, and he groans as he watches you close your mouth and visibly swallow his load.

“Fuck, that was so hot. Fucking kiss me already,” he demands, pulling you up gently by the hand and pressing his mouth to yours. He doesn’t care if he can taste himself still lingering in your mouth. In fact, he thinks your mouth should always taste like him.

Namjoon holds you close as he kisses you, tongue diving around and seeking purchase in your mouth. His hands are roaming your body, cupping your breasts and caressing your curves. He can’t get enough. He doesn’t think there will come a time in his life when he won’t love touching you.

His hand smoothes over the satin of your panties and he smirks into the kiss as he feels how wet they are.

“Oh my,” he tuts as he rubs at your clothed slit. “All this from sucking my cock, princess?”

It’s too late to be ashamed of it. You simply nod and whimper as his thick fingers rub at your core. You’re dying to feel those fingers inside you, scissoring you open to prepare you for his massive cock.

“P-please,” you gasp, needing more of him. “Please, Joon.”

He lets out a breath of contentment, loving the way his name sounds in your breathy moans. In one quick swoop, he flings your panties off and onto the floor and slides down to his knees where you knelt moments before.

“I want to see this pretty pussy up close,” he murmurs as he lays you out at the edge and spreads open your thighs as wide as he can.

You’re gorgeous, absolutely mouth-watering. He licks his lips as he watches your folds drip with arousal and takes a delicate finger to trace the slit gently.

“Fuck,” you gasp as he swirls his finger around your sensitive clit. It’s been so long since someone else has made you orgasm, you’re sure you won’t last a second with the man of your sexual dreams face-first in your cunt.

“This is my pussy now,” he states as he leans in close and licks a fat stripe from your hole to your clit. “I’m going to make you cum every fucking night, baby. Gonna claim this cunt as my own.”

You’re trembling from his words and his actions as he soon buries his face into your pussy and eats as if he’s a man starved. His tongue swirls around your hole before swiping up to your clit, making your back arch and keen off the bed. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit and sucks gently, lewd noises echoing off the walls of the bedroom.

“Namjoon!” You squeal as he slides two of his fingers inside you and slowly pumps. They’re thick and perfect, and they’re better than you could have ever dreamed.

“Cum for me, baby,” he coaxes as he licks at your clit. “I know you want to.”

He’s right. You’re desperate for it and the string inside your belly that tightens with each thrust of his solid fingers has it nearing a snapping point.

Namjoon speeds up, adds a third finger and fucks into you like a man on a mission. He watches your face pinch in agonized delight and is hypnotized by the way your tits bounce with each thrust up. His cock is rock solid again, aching to bury itself deep inside your womb and coat you with his cum.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he breathes as he watches your body quiver. “Cum on my fingers, let daddy see you fall apart.”

He presses his lips to your clit one last time and sucks, and it sends you reeling over the edge into bliss. Namjoon moans as he feels your cunt convulse and squeeze his fingers as if they’re his cock, and he nearly whines at how good it’s going to feel when he’s balls deep inside of you.

“Fuck!” You cry as your back lifts off the bed and your legs shake. “Oh, my god!”

Namjoon kitten licks at your pussy as you come down, cleaning up the juices that coat his fingers. He doesn’t break eye contact with you as he does it, sucking up your essence like it’s an expensive wine he won’t waste a drop of.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he says as you try to catch your breath. “I can’t wait to fuck you in my office.”

The smile on your face turns lustful as you spread your legs open once again and present yourself to him.

“Why don’t we practice right now?”

Namjoon grips the base of his cock and gives himself a few pumps as he stares at your gorgeous body—laid out and ready for him.

“Merry Christmas to me,” he murmurs as he presses a kiss to your lips and lines himself up.

In one swift motion, he slips inside your juicy channel and buries himself to the hilt. You’re so wet and warm and tight that Namjoon falters and groans out loud.

“Holy shit,” he cries. “Sweetest fucking pussy I’ve ever felt in my life.”

Namjoon filling you up to the brim is something you’ve only ever dreamt of, and now that it’s happening you feel intoxicated. He’s so thick inside you, stretching you past what you thought you could handle, and the burn is so sweet.

“Fuck me, Joon,” you beg as he continues to still inside you. “Please, fuck me, daddy.”

It’s the magic word for Namjoon and instantly he’s snapped back to feral, ready to claim you as his own. He grips your hips tightly as he pumps in and out of you, delighted by the squelching juicy sounds of your cunt as he takes you.

“That’s right, baby girl, I’m your fucking daddy,” he grunts. “Take this fat cock for daddy.”

Your legs quiver with each thrust and Namjoon sucks a nipple into his mouth, nibbling gently on the bud which makes your body thrum with electricity. He’s marking you, claiming you inside and out, you realize. You whine and keen for him to continue, and Namjoon growls as he doubles his pace.

He thrusts into you without abandon, desperately seeking his release that will have him spilling his cum anywhere he possibly can.

“Mmm, look at my pretty princess,” he groans as he stares at your blissed-out face. “Taking daddy’s cock so good, being a perfect little slut.”

His words make your eyes roll back into your head. You’d never had someone speak so nasty to you while being so kind and praise-worthy that you don’t think you can now ever live without it.

“G-gonna cum, daddy!” you cry as you feel your body nearing the edge. “Please let me cum!”

Namjoon gasps for air and drops a thumb to your clit to rub circles on the sensitive bundle.

“Yes, baby girl, cum for daddy. Cum on my cock, princess.”

Namjoon’s unrelenting pace and thumb handily stroking your clit brings you to the end, sending you screaming into orgasmic delight.

Namjoon nearly weeps at how good your cunt feels convulsing around his cock, walls coaxing him and gripping him tight as if your pussy is begging for his own release.

“Cum inside me daddy, please,” you beg as you try to catch your breath.

Namjoon needs no more permission. He gasps as your channel tightens around him impossibly and sends him into his own release. He whimpers as his cock pulses with ferocity, loads of cum splattering your walls.

He doesn’t pull out. Instead, he rests his sweaty forehead on yours as you both try to catch your breath.

“Holy shit,” you gasp as you feel yourself returning to Earth.

Namjoon laughs and presses a kiss to your lips, before nodding.

“Yeah,” is all he can manage.

After a few shuddering breaths, you wrap your arms around your boyfriend’s naked body and hold him close, as close as you can.

“If this is what Christmas is all about, sign me up.”

Namjoon buries his face into your neck and kisses you sweetly, before lifting and giving you a playful smile.

“I guess all Scrooge needed was a good fuck. Dickens got that part all wrong.”

Returning to work after the New Year was easier this year than it had ever been in your career.

Namjoon was given the promotion. He told Seokjin he wanted to keep his corner office near you because he “likes the view”, and that he would give all his top cases to the best lawyer in the office—you.

Jimin won’t stop screaming when he sees the diamond ring on your finger. You haven’t wanted to take it off since the moment you put it on. Maybe it’s not an engagement ring quite yet, maybe it’s just more of a promise. Either way, Jimin is ecstatic and confused as he shakes you down for answers.

He walks with you to your desk, chattering away about his week with Yoongi, while you sip your convenience store coffee.

“What the fuck?” Jimin asks as he notices something on your desk. “What is that?”

As you round the corner, your eyes catch sight of a gleaming silver contraption on your desk, right next to your brand new computer.

A Nespresso.

A smile crosses your lips as you approach the expensive machine and notice a folded up card on top.

Inside, the card is simple.

“To the only girl in the world who deserves a Nespresso. Love, Namjoon.”

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#bts smut #bts fanfic #kim namjoon smut #rm smut #namjoon smut #ficswithluv #rockin around the christmas tropes #bts imagines #bts reactions #kim namjoon imagines

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

Text

Laisse tomber les filles 7

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; sexual acts and dubcon (not explicitly tagged for a surprise but nothing extreme).

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: We back at it again! Happy Tuesday.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

‘When I was nineteen, pureness was the great issue...I saw the world divided into people who had slept with somebody and people who hadn’t, and this seemed the only really significant difference between one person and another. I thought a spectacular change would come over me the day I crossed the boundary line.’

You read and reread the paragraph. You couldn’t help it. The first time you read that book, you just didn’t get the cynicism. There were still parts you couldn’t quite relate to. But that passage sank into you like a pebble in water. You felt changed already and after something so little.

You hadn’t seen Lee since Saturday. He had your number now and called at night. A few times, there was noise in the background; people, cars, life. You realised he must’ve been at a payphone, taking a moment away from his patrol. That was another thing about him; he felt so established, so wise, and that made you feel even less.

When the phone began to ring that night, you ignored it. And when it stopped, you picked up the receiver and dialed the only number you knew. Your mom picked up and you heard the sink running in the background. She was always busy when you called.

“Mom,” you said, “it’s me.”

“Oh, hi, dear,” she replied in her creaky tone, “how are you? Oh, is something wrong?”

“Um… I’m okay, I just wanted to call, I…” you thought of telling her about Lee but you weren’t really sure how. You weren’t even sure why you called her, only that you felt alone. “I miss you and daddy.”

“We miss you, too,” you heard her steps and her grunt as she stretched the cord and twisted off the faucet. “He’s been working hard down at the steel yard and he’s so proud. All the other men tell him to hush up when he brags about you.”

“Yeah? I… I’m working hard. Got an A on my last paper,” you played with the coiled cord.

“That’s great, dear,” she chimed, “are you sure you’re okay? You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you said, “that’s all. Studying and all that.”

“I hope so. I wouldn’t want you going out late to one of those parties,” she tittered, “Noreen’s son got arrested at one of those and spent a night in jail. They spent their mortgage to get him out.”

“No, no, I don’t, um, go to parties,” you assured, not adding that no one would even think to invite you to one.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry, I’ll have to call back tomorrow,” she sighed as you heard the door clamour, “your father’s so intent on hurting himself these days.”

“Okay, um, it’s alright, I’ll talk later, love y--” the phone went dead and you listened to the dull tone.

You put the receiver back in the cradle and tapped your fingers on your lips. You picked up your book and sat back on your bed. You couldn’t focus on the words though as your mind lingered on the familiar sounds of home. You missed it terribly. You just wanted to take the bus and go hide in your old childhood bed.

The phone rang again. You knew it wasn’t your mother. You left it and when it silenced, there was only a second before it started again. You waited until the next lull and moved the receiver off the cradle and let the low hum rise from the speaker. You kept it off the hook and closed your book.

You didn’t want to deal with any of that today. Not Lee, not Plath, not the plague of woes that roiled your stomach. You flopped onto your bed and pulled your pillow over your head. You weren’t going to think again until your morning lecture.

📚

You sat near the front of the hall with your elbow on the small fold-out desk. You swirled your pen lazily in the air as you listened to the professor expound on the flaws of historical revisionism. He wasn’t the type to entertain questions or comments, he merely ranted and expected you to note those few words of value amidst the sea of thoughts.

You yawned, exhausted despite an early night. You felt empty and drained those last four days. Ever since…

You didn’t think about it. Tried not to even as it tugged at your mind. When the memory managed to poke through, you felt the same tingle between your legs and your cheeks burned in humiliation.

How had you let it happen? How could you let yourself do that?

You were so confused by it all. How could it be wrong if Lee said it was right? He was older, he was a cop, and he knew much more than you. You never even kissed a boy before him and he was so confident in everything he did that he must be doing it all right.

Besides, after everything, if you refused him, you’d have only been leading him on and using him for his kindness, even if you didn’t realise what you were doing. Because what you did know was that he was a man and you were a woman and that he was doing nice things for you. And you accepted them all. The least you could do was bide his affection. That was the age old exchange, was it not?

“Next week, we’ll review chapters five and six,” the professor’s tone piqued as his ramble subsided, “I expect a class discussion and you can expect ten percent of your mark to be evaluated from your contribution and I will know if you just ‘skimmed’ the introduction.’

The class grumbled as he dismissed you and you stood slowly, stretching the cramp from your leg. You packed up your bag and hauled it on your shoulder. You had a gap between that class and your afternoon publishing class. You trailed out behind the flow of chattering students but found many of them lowered their voices as they came out into the hall.

There voices fell to whispers as they entered the hall. The sight of a brown hat assured you of the reason. Sheriff Bodecker stood against the painted brick and watched the students pass by, each eyeing him nervously and some chuckling under their breaths nervously. You tried to hide behind a taller student but your name tripped you up.

Despite your efforts to maintain your invisibility, he’d spotted you and you knew you could run away. Several of your peers craned around to watch you, no doubt suspecting some trouble on your part. You dragged your feet and stepped out of the tide of fleeing co-eds to stand along the wall with Lee.

“Hi,” you said quietly.

“Young lady,” he said staunchly and kept his eyes on the other students, nodding at them darkly as they passed.

He waited until the hall was empty before he turned on you. You fidgeted and caught your bag as it slipped from your shoulder. Your thoughts wrinkled above your brow and you stared at his brown leather shoes.

“How did you… find me here?”

He was silent as he reached in his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He opened it and showed you a print-out of your schedule.

“Easy enough,” he tapped his badge nonchalantly, “I was worried. You didn’t answer last night.”

“I fell asleep early,” you said weakly, “morning lecture, you know?”

“Mmm,” he hummed, “not that early.”

“I’m sorry, I was sleep--”

“You’re no good at lying and I don’t like you telling me fibs,” he growled, “you playin’ around with me, honey.”

“No, I…” you blinked as he folded the paper back into his pocket and pushed his jacket back to settle his hand on his pistol.

“Did you forget who I am? What I am?” he arched a brow darkly.

“N-No, sir, I… I got schoolwork and--”

“You can’t stop and talk to me for ten minutes?” he challenged, “you hurt me, honey. I’m out on patrol all night, in danger, and the only thing I got to look forward to is hearing your sweet voice.”

“I, um, I… er, I’m confused,” you eked out, “I don’t know… I…”

“Honey,” he leaned in and his hot breath glossed over you as he lowered his voice, “you know what this is, we both know what a bad girl you were on Saturday.”

“I didn’t…” you swallowed and choked on your voice, “I gotta go to the library--”

You tried to turn away but were pulled back by his tight grip on your arm. He forced you against the wall and knocked the wind from you as your bag tumbled from your arm. You gasped and stared up at him in fright. In that moment, he seemed bigger than ever; taller, thicker, and strong as hell. Stronger than you for sure.

“You don’t go nowhere ‘less I say you do,” his other hand shifted on his gun, “you got me?”

“What are you-- I didn’t… why are you being mean?”

“Me? Honey pie, you been avoiding me and I’m mean?” he snarled.

“I wasn’t avoiding you, I’m just... busy,” you whimpered as he squeezed your arm so tight it throbbed, “you’re hurting me.”

“You’re hurting me,” he hissed, “you think I got time to be comin’ down here on duty to find you?”

“You didn’t have to--”

“I did,” he barked, “I had to make sure you weren’t hussyin’ around with any other boys, like I found you last week.”

“I told you, that wasn’t--”

“Shhhhh,” his hand flew to your chin and forced your mouth shut, “I don’t got the time for this, honey. I’ll be around tonight and you’ll wear a pretty dress for me, won’t you?”

You clenched your jaw and nodded stiffly as his thumb toyed with your lip. He smiled and the tension left his grasp.

“Good girl,” he drew away and squared his shoulders, “you be ready at six and don’t keep me waitin’ again.”

“Yes, sir,” you croaked.

“Mmm,” he nodded with a smirk, “you know, I think I do prefer ‘sir’.” He bent and kissed your lips before you could turn away. You let him and he stood straight again and adjusted his belt, “six o’clock, honey pie.”

#lee bodecker #dark lee bodecker #dark!lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #fic #series #dark fic #dark!fic #laisse tomber les filles #the devil all the time #college au #au

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

I’ve been a hermit ever since covid dropped lol. Yes, you’re doing social distancing right. Imagine going outside? Ptff, what a weird concept. But I’m happy you’ve stuck around for so long despite the constant brainworms I have. Oho?? More crumbs 👀 Lemme just crack my knuckles real quick. I’m throwing a reader in just so I have an excuse to tag everyone haha. These are a lot more scuffy compared to my usual HCs but let me brainrot for a sec.

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Roomate HCs [V1]

Genshin: Mythos AU - Cat Xiao

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @aethwie @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @qimiie @onowie @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact @morthecreator @aanne2601 @aklxojjk @fulltimeventisimp @legionqueensav @castinluckgamer

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Zhongli

Your first impressions of Zhongli was that he was an egotistical and selfish brat. To be fair, you might have adopted some of those qualities yourself but you were both children at the time. Your sister, Guizhong, was tasked to take care of Zhongli in place of his parents which lead to your first meeting with the infamous Imperial Prince. At first, you were excited to finally meet someone who was the same age as you and Guizhong was always so kind. But when he turned to face you two, he just asked if Guizhong was supposed to be his concubine. You weren’t sure whether to gag or throw your shoe at him but Guizhong quickly intercepted before you could do anything that could get you killed. It’s only until you spent more time with him that Zhongli tells you that he has never had someone care for him or want to spend time with him without some alterative motive.

Zhongli radiates sheltered child from birth. To outsiders, he seems really slow on normal everyday tasks but that’s because he’s never had to worry about doing mundane things. He’s always had someone else to do them for him that when he’s out in public, he just stands around and waits for someone to help him. It’s incredibly awkward for everyone in the situation when Zhongli forgets to bring mora and just stands off to the side until one of his servants comes to pick up his check. That’s how Zhongli got such a bad reputation of being a spoiled brat despite being a well-mannered and polite man. When he drops something he just turns to look at you, back at the object, then back at you. You have to pound it into your brain that no, Zhongli is not a lazy and he isn’t trying to be insulting, that’s just how he’s lived his life. When you tell him he is fully capable to picking things up, because what if he dropped something important when he was older and the wind swept it away, he pounders the thought as if you’ve just explained the meaning of the celestials to him that you give up and just pick it up for him.

A Prince from Mondstadt named Venti used to come to Liyue for playdates while their father’s talked business and politics. He was the complete opposite of Zhongli but you genuinely liked him. While he was a bit more bolder and hyper compared to the calm and quiet Zhongli, he would always try and get Zhongli out of the palace and outside. You end up missing so many fun and interesting things when you’re locked up in your study room. How can the next Emperor care about his land when he doesn’t even know what it’s like to live there? It was the first time you and Zhongli went out just for fun and you might have gone a bit overboard in hindsight, but Venti’s personality and the feeling of freedom to do anything was addicting. Plus, watching Zhongli’s reactions to all these new feelings made him feel a bit more human. While you knew that Zhongli would do everything for Liyue, you never got the impression that his heart was in it.

From then on, you and Zhongli try and carve some time out of his schedule to go down to the streets and have a little bit of a break. When you both built kites and scaled all the way to the mountains to fly them, it was the first time you’ve seen Zhongli be bad at something. He always had such elegance and perfection whenever his teachers asked him to do something but as soon as the kite took flight, it would stumble then come crashing down. Zhongli had the most heartbroken puppy expression on his face that you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. While you’re on the ground gasping for air and probably have the most ridiculous expression on your face, Zhongli smiles gently as he looks at you then back to Liyue. The moment is ruined when Guizhong comes running towards you both and scolds you for sneaking out.

While it’s somewhat annoying when other attendants in palace gush about how well Zhongli is growing into becoming the next emperor, both in smarts and appearance, you have to somewhat agree with them in some places. If you want to know the history of Liyue or how to properly place a tea set, he can tell you in incredible detail. However, when it comes to social cues and interactions, he’s awful at them. Everything is treated a business deal that it makes everyone somewhat nervous or uncomfortable that you’re internally dying at any social event he goes to. But despite the awkwardness, he has a lot of admires that frequently send him letters of marriage or adoration that you have to shift through. It makes you a bit uncomfortable reading the flowery language but it surprised you a bit how many people have the misconception that Zhongli planning to have you as his spouse. When you mention this to Zhongli as a joke, he returns to his thinking pose and he contemplates the idea before nodding and agreeing with the letters. He proposes to you right then and there and it’s such a sudden development that your brain has finally broke and you pass out.

Venti

Venti is one of those royalty types that spends so much time outside and away from his duties that he’s basically thrown his cape and crown to the wind. The first time Zhongli visited Monstadt, his first impressions of Venti were him singing to a crowd. While Zhongli doesn’t understand why Venti would spend his time on music rather than his studies, they still get along well. Mostly because Venti has a very easy going personality, even if he’s a bit blunt, but whatever comments he makes fly over Zhongli’s head. Unlike him, you’re the complete opposite. You’re a knight in training with an earnest heart that wants to protect the City of Mondstadt with your entire being. While you don’t necessarily hate Venti, because he never asked to be born into the royal family, you can’t help but get frustrated at his nonchalant attitude towards everything aside from alcohol and music.

Your first meeting with him was during your time training under the Favonius Knights. You wanted to get a bit more practice late in the night when Venti stumbled upon you bullying a poor wooden dummy before he announces his arrival. He laughs a bit at your fumbling as you quickly get into a proper kneel but he waves it off saying it was unnecessary before he asks what you’re up to. You’re in mid-explanation when Venti cuts you off with a yawn and you can feel the irritation creeping up on you as you snap back why he’s outside instead of inside the safe walls of the castle. Your irritation grows even further when Venti smugly grins, patting himself on the back from getting a rise out of you, before he reaches into the bag you just noticed he was carrying to produce sheets of music.

While his teacher’s drone on and on about the production of wine, he is busy writing songs in his textbooks. While he understands the importance of his role, he thinks the people can rule themselves just fine without his help. He wants to leave his crown and become a bard and live an ordinary but free life. How he’s always sneaking out to go explore without the world constantly breathing down his neck. Whether his posture is correct or if he’s memorized the history of berries wouldn’t matter. Honestly, Venti is weighing his options of either staying as a royal or leaving everything behind to pursue the life he wants. When he finishes his heart-felt speech he expects you to give him those same pitiful and woe is you eyes but you’re just angry. You can understand his sentiment, living a life that you never asked for isn’t fun, but suddenly packing your things and jumping ship would only cause chaos and conflict. At least have some sort of replacement before you leave damnit.

Now it’s your turn to be surprised, rather than taking offense to you, a nameless knight, basically insulting the him, the Prince, he lights up in excitement. He rips his cape and crown off before he’s shoving them onto you before you can even say anything. He’s almost bouncing on his feet as he tells you that you can freely take his crown and become the next in line. You have no idea how that would work but he mentions that he knows a man named Albedo that can help change your appearance to look like him. That way, you get to protect the City you love so much and he get’s to live the life he’s always wanted. It’s completely fool proof with no flaws whatsoever! Except for the fact, that he is jumping way too far to conclusions, he’s shoving his responsibilities onto you, and most importantly, you don’t the first thing about Venti and how to act like him.

Before you know it, Venti has dragged you to meet his Father to personally appoint you as his personal knight. He doesn’t take no for an answer even though you aren’t qualified at all to be protecting someone of high position as him but Venti’s always been a handful that someone needs to watch over him. You have no idea how one night managed to throw your entire life into this chaos but you’re not sure if you can even get out of this situation at this point.

Kaeya

It all happened so suddenly. You and him were playing in the gardens when his father rushed in and took both of your hands and dragged you to the border to Khaenri’ah. The land you were both used to seeing, the friendly baker that would always give you both sweets, or the magic that used to flow so freely was transformed into red cubes. You were both scared and confused but as you both reached the border oh Khaenri’ah, a large gate that leads to the above world of Teyvat, his father tells you both to run as far as you could and never look back before he pushed you both in. It wasn’t until years later that you both discovered that a corrupted god had taken control of Khaenri’ah. Now, everyone believes that the Khaenri’ah prince is dead because he’s been missing for so long and whatever hope Khaenri’ah has is gone. For his own safety, he had to change his name to Kaeya and you both found yourself at the gates of Mondstadt.

It took a lot of adjusting for the both of you but Kaeya especially. Your mother had dropped you into the care of Kaeya’s family for a short while before everything went downhill. She was a bit on the neglectful side but she was still your mother and you knew she was alive. On the other hand, Kaeya lost his entire family and nation in a single moment. Whatever pure happiness and bright personality he used to have quickly regressed until he was a shy and quiet kid. You know he blames himself for what happened even if there wasn’t anything he could have done but he’s grown a fear of outsiders so he tends to avoid other children his age. Instead finding comfort in playing with the funny looking abyss mages and slimes that are on the outskirt of Mondstadt. While he doesn’t seem bothered by the weird comments other people make of him, you know deep down he does get hurt, that it makes you so mad that you end up lashing out.

You end up getting into a few fights as Kaeya patches you up. He scolds you and says that he doesn’t need you to go so far for him is when you make him a promise that you’ll protect him with everything you have. It’s the first moment since everything happened that he seems to gain back that life in his eyes. He blinks at you before he chuckles sheepishly and comments that you can’t even tie your shoes correctly do you stumble a bit. You’re a bit embarrassed at your sudden proclamation but stand determined about it. You both end up making a pinky promise to stay by each other’s side until the very end.

When you’re both older and in the position of Captain and Teacher in the Favonius Knights is when he seems to be a bit more open. You both end up gaining a reputation of the laid-back Calvary Captain that bother’s the strict but kind Teacher. He’s always waltzing in the middle of you class to tease you before you end up throwing something at him to get him to stop embarrassing you in front of new recruits. You end up getting back at him with your woe is me acting and push all your paper work on him. Since he loves spending so much time in your class, he should know how to do all your paper work right?. Despite all of this, if anyone needs to find Kaeya or you, you’re basically a packaged deal. Always attached to the hip.

Kaeya knows deep down, at some point he’s going to have to go back to Khaenri’ah and save his people but he’s conflicted. While he knows it’s selfish that he get’s to live a life of freedom, he wants to be selfish. Not just for him but for you as well. You’ve both basically lost everything and now that things are okay, he doesn’t want to give that up. While you both promised to stay together until the end, you’re the only person he has left and he doesn’t want to rope you into his mess or have you worry about him. He’s heard of the blond traveler in black and blue that is searching for the lost prince of an unnamed kingdom, knows that the peaceful life he has right now will come to an end, but he pushes it aside. Besides, there are more important things to attend to. Today might be the day he tells your students about how you fell into a lake because you got scared by a frog.

Jean

Jean is incredibly dedicated to her role and to her people because she’s genuinely a good person and wants to see people happy. Especially her sister Barbara. She’s a bit awkward and clumsy in her execution but she has a lot of heart. Being her personal knight, you know just how hard she works and you admire her greatly for her ideals and nature. She has such a professional and gentle façe when she’s out in public but as soon as she’s behind closed doors, she’s collapsing into your arms as the world lifts for a short while. You chuckle a bit amused at how different she appears to the outside world, how the ever prime and proper Princess wakes up with a rat’s nest, how her favourite food is pizza, or how she throws these 7 inch heels out the window as soon as a ball is over.

Due to Jean’s kind-hearted nature, when it comes to more pushy people she can’t seem to say no to. Travelers or citizens that think they can take advantage of the Princess is what makes your blood boil. While she isn’t stupid and knows that people are taking advantage of her, she wants to extend any help she can. Not for her public image but because that’s how she is. While it warms your heart that people like her exist, as her knight you can only let so many things slide. When some shady peddler tries to lead Jean somewhere, you’re already stepping in and smilingly sweetly as you grip the peddler’s hand in a death grip and not so subtlety say that he better have a good excuse for why he wants to drag the Princess away or there might be a problem.

When Jean is overworking herself and nearing her breaking point is when you step in. You may be her knight but you’re also her friend and you know when it’s time to stop her destructive habits. She might complain and reassure you that she’s fine but you don’t accept that. If she was “fine” her temperature wouldn’t be the same level as a pyro slime and she wouldn’t have such dark circles under her eyes. It’s a simple bend and lift to carry her in your arms that she ends up stuttering before going pink and let’s you carry her to her room. While she’s screaming into her hands, you’re preparing medicine and everything she’ll need to make a full recovery.

The hardest times for Jean is when her Father constantly pesters her to find a husband. Jean is an independent person and while yes, while being a workaholic isn’t against help, but she doesn’t believe she needs a husband just to make her entitled to rule her kingdom. Besides, Jean is secretly a hopeless romantic. You’re very tight lipped about secretly finding her love story books hidden under her bed unless you want to see her self-combust. You try your best to comfort her but there’s not a lot you can do for her situation other than offer words of reassurance and try and get her mind off things. While you’re patting her on the back she’s looking at you as if you’re the most oblivious person in the world.

Albedo

Albedo is a renowned alchemist that helps royal families with their problems with the use of his intelligence and abilities in alchemy. Something that only a few people can do throughout Teyvat, you being one of them as well. At first, you had admired Albedo and his abilities and saw him as a bit of a role model for young alchemist. Until you actually met him in person. He’s pretty much an emotionless void of a person that he comes off as extremely unempathetic when he listens to the woes of royals. While you sort of agree, the problems that royal’s commission you for are completely ridiculous and selfish, he doesn’t have a moral compass and if he can benefit from it. He’ll do it, no matter how questionable it may seem.

Maybe it’s because you have a little sister figure in your life to stir your moral compass but it still get’s you irritated. It’s always a joy to see Klee when you come back home from your travels that whatever bad mood you were in suddenly washes away. But when you knock on Alice’s door only to have it open to reveal Albedo holding Klee in his arms does your world come crashing down. Klee is completely ignorant to your internal screams as she scrabbles out of Albedo’s hands to give you a hug and take your hand in hers as she leads you inside. You can almost feel the inner workings of Albedo’s mind as he stares at you blankly as Klee shows you the new art she drew.

You both don’t mention or talk about it even when you happen to cross each other’s paths outside or you both end up seeing each other at Alice’s home. It’s a bit funny to you, to the outside world Albedo seems so aloof and untouchable, and yet you’re here watching him get tired from chasing Klee around and trying to stop her destroying her home with her bombs. It almost makes you smug when Klee listens to you better than Albedo, it might seem a bit petty and small but you don’t care. He ends up getting back at you when he ends up one-upping you in front of the royal court. He does a quick scan of the room before his eyes land on you and he shoots you a small smug smile before his face returns to it’s neutral expression. You’re clapping along with everyone with the most strained smile you can muster.

You manage to find out from Klee that Albedo enjoys drawing that the next time you see him, you ask if you could see him draw something or if he had sketches on hand. You’re fascinated by his drawings, more so than his actual research discoveries, as you look at the tiny details he’s managed to capture. Outside of Klee, no one’s really been interested in his drawings that he can’t help but feel a little flustered when you’re gushing about his work. It’s different from people praising his alchemist efforts, you’re not someone whose staring at him like he’s on a pedestal when you say you like his drawings, and it feels genuine. He offers a small smile and says that if you’d like, he’d love to show you some more sketches.

You’ve never noticed it until other people bring it up but Albedo seems close to you. Usually once he’s done his business he leaves but if you happen to be around, he sticks around a bit longer just to speak with you. How he seems comfortable to relax in your presence and even leans in closer. How he complies with your requests without any benefit to him. You’re not sure what type of relationship you hold with Albedo. You don’t think you’re friends but you’re definitely closer than acquaintance. If taking care of a a hyper active walking bomb doesn’t bring two people closer than you don’t know what does. But at the end of the day, you find you don’t really care. Not everything needs to be labelled and categorized like things are in alchemy. People don’t seem to understand but you always duck out and escape before you’re questioned further about your personal life. Unbeknownst to you, Albedo is watching you go as he ponders your words.

Childe

Childe is such a clown. He’s an assassin that doesn’t know the first thing about being subtle and is just in it for the fighting. He’s really just an incredibly egotistical bastard that likes being friendly with his targets, just to see their shocked expressions when it’s him that comes to take their life. He’s actually a pretty down to earth guy. While other assassins in the Fatui either have tragic backstories or some sad pitiful tale, Childe just laughs at them. His family is still alive and he’s never had any true hardships in his life. He’s pretty disliked for this reason but he’s a skilled enough fighter that it somewhat makes up for it.

Just when Childe’s life is at its peak, is when he slips and falls into the abyss. For the first time, he had to face against a threat and in a situation he has no control over which is completely foreign to him. He barely manages to survive until he’s saved by an unknown figure that goes by the name Skirk. While he’s grateful he’s still alive, facing his mortality for the first time gives him a lot to reflect about. Thus he makes the impulse decision to train under Skirk and grow stronger until he’s able to climb out of the abyss. That’s when he meets you who was travelling with Skirk for the same reasons. Your first interactions with this unknown teen is him challenging you to a fight, just for you to throw him over your shoulder as if he weighed nothing. You expected him to get angry or cry but instead he’s standing right back up and grinning like a psychopath as he asks for another fight. You’re looking at Skirk with the most, are we seriously bringing this child with us? look.

From then on, it’s been the three of you travelling through the floors of the abyss. Skirk tells you the stories of this place, how it used to be a great nation before corruption cause the citizens to be morphed and transformed into monsters. You and Childe learn how to fight alongside Skirk against these monsters until it ends up becoming a competition between you and Childe on who can kill the most monsters. Skirk is a bit worried that when you both are back into the outside world, if he should be worried about how morbid you both might appear. But while you’re both yelling at each other who actually landed the last kill on the regisvine while the hilichurls are cowering in a corner does he just accept that things aren’t going to change. The world will just have to accept it. If you both actually teamed up, and you have before, he thinks you both would be unstoppable but you’re both too stubborn.

Despite your rivalry, Childe still has his big brother instincts that whenever you get hurt he’s huffing over you like a mother hen as he scolds you for being so reckless. You’re ignoring the fact that he’s bleeding out while you have minor cuts because you don’t want a crybaby Childe on your hands. Even the harsh conditions of the Abyss, you both find ways to entertain yourself. Childe always challenges you to a fight every second of the day and he always ends up with a sore back when you knock him off his feet. And he always makes the joke that you’re sweeping him off his feet which ends up with him screaming bloody murder as you charge at him. It doesn’t help when he’s still yelling comments behind his shoulder that you might get mistaken for a gorilla when you’re both outside that Skirk has gotten so used to this that he simply ignores the attempted murder going on behind him.

When you’re both strong enough to climb to the gate of the Abyss, Skirk feels almost like a proud parent. Giving you a head pat and a hard slap to the back for Childe does Skirk wave you both off. You’re trying to mask your tears as Childe grins and promises to see you on the other side, that you’ll definitely meet up in the future no matter what. But when he finally returns to the Fatui, works his way back up to being an assassin, he almost thinks Skirk is laughing at him when he realizes that his first target is you. Not that he’s bothered by it, he'll be happy to see you again and see if he can finally beat you.

Baizhu

Baizhu is the most suspicious doctor in the history of all doctors. Some citizens aren’t even sure if he’s a qualified doctor but alas, he’s very good at his job and is a lot more tolerable compared to the Alchemist Albedo so that’s how he’s been able to keep his job. He works under the Liyue emperor so even if citizens had issues with him, it’s not like they could do anything in the first place. People aren’t sure whether he’s joking or being honest when he explains what he’s been privately working on behind the scenes. From experiments to rituals, they are taken aback but Baizhu just smiles and says he’s just kidding. Being his assistant, you have to constantly reassure others that Baizhu is a bit of a sadist and likes to get a rise out of people. Besides, why would a doctor be so interested in those type of things? It’s incredibly unnerving but no one questions it. They won’t know what to do in the first place if their suspicious are correct.

While Baizhu knows how to do his job, he’s always sending you to do the dirty work. From getting medicinal plants up on the very top of mountains or bringing cranky old men their prescriptions, whenever you’re done one task he’s got three more for you. He could at the very least take the trash out while he’s busy doing nothing. At least the job has a few perks. You’ve always had numerous health issues and while Baizhu’s reputation is a bit on thin ice, you wouldn’t trust anyone else to look you over. He’s a bit weird about it, you’re pretty sure Baizhu will never love another person emotionally but when it comes to the science behind a human body, he’s absolutely smitten. He tries to reassure you that he does care for the wellbeing of Liyue but you wave it off at him trying to butter you up before he asks something ridiculous of you.

You and his snake, Changsheng, do not like each other. You think she’s an annoying and bratty snake that Baizhu needs to throw into a jar to shut up while she thinks you’re a complete nuisance and doesn’t understand why Baizhu keeps you around. Baizhu has tried to get you both to reconcile but it always devolves into a petty argument of back-handed insults until Baizhu has enough and tells you both to quiet down. To be truthful, both of your hatred towards each other stems from two completely different reasons rather than disliking each other’s personality, but you can never bring it up to Baizhu. It’s not a conversation anyone wants to have.

If he has one positive, it’s his adopted daughter Qiqi who is just an absolute sweetheart. She’s shy and prefers to follow after Baizhu and you like a lost duckling. While Baizhu might be the worst boss in this history of all bosses, it makes you grin smugly internally when Qiqi chooses to stay cuddled in your arms instead of his. Qiqi is 95% the reason why you stay in this job, not that Baizhu would ever let you leave, because you’ve genuinely grown fond of someone for the first time the same way she has for you. You bring her along whenever you need to give prescriptions to citizens just so she isn’t stuck in within the same four walls and the locals love her. From her forgetful nature or how she shy’s behind your legs whenever someone new approach's you both. It’s so cute that people tend to ignore the floating rumours that Baizhu is reanimating his previously deceased family.

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I have no idea if I’m just uncultured or if “Always and Forever” Au’s are a thing. I hope you all like this 👉👈 it’s kind of messy and all over the place and I lowkey don’t know if I like my brainrot (there’s a lot of issues ik). I kinda want to do a part 2 where I include other characters but let me know if that’s something interesting? Oh and feel free to add to this, I’d love to hear your ideas.

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