#cause yknow shit happens

[asgardian--angels]

you know it's bad when tumblr's being the more mature social media site when it comes to rancid takes on izzy's death

#ofmd #holy shit twitter's devolved into a battleground #what is WRONG with yall involving david jenkins in your beef #you dont have to like what happened but #how many fucking years in fandom does it take for people to learn to be civil #and not base their entire identities around characters so if anything happens to them it's a personal attack #that they then take straight to the creator #if a character dying causes you that much distress then that's a You problem and david fucking jenkins is not responsible #and he's not your therapist #and besides. just because something happened you didnt like doesnt mean it was a bad writing choice #but even if it were. you never have the right to make it anyone else's problem #i cant imagine having the gall #don't do this guys. the cast and crew are so lovely to us. don't make them stop interacting with us #people saying this show was a comfort show. or a safe space show or whatever. thats great for you #but it's not djenk's responsibility to cater to you and not his problem if the show doesn't meet your infinitely high expectations #he's telling a story. things will happen in those stories. #and it's actually p rare on tv that creators are getting to tell the story the way they want so personally im grateful #if you don't like his vision then don't watch it. you don't have the right to bully him. seriously whats wrong with you #cause yeah im sure con o'neill would love what youre doing huh #the fate of a fictional character is sliiiiiightly less important than being kind to people in the real world yknow #only tagging this so people can block for spoilers

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

surprise, bet you weren't expecting THIS

ok but real this is technically just a test. wasn't actually aiming to really make this lmao, but things lined up and i realized this sounded good actually so i was "hmm maybe i should post that." idk if i'll make a video for this so for now just take the audio ig.

VSQx by Hatsune Dan, distributed by Yumeko. Some minor tuning edits by me. Mixing also by me. Original song by wowaka.

#my audio lol #vocaloid #vocaloid cover #utau #utauloid #utauloid cover #utau cover #openutau #nurse robot type t #two faced lovers #wowaka #this is her sherry vb specifically; i wanna do smthn else w/ it but i was testing how she sounded like w/ files i already had #and this was one of the only ones where she actually sounded good 😭😭 maybe the different resamplers and wavtools are a piece of the puzzle #but still i'd need to mess around w/ her maybe. i got her cause i wanna do a specific thing w/ her but we'll see if i ever get there lol #i feel bad ugh i didnt actually do that that much here :'| feels like cheating. but if i keep trying maybe i'll get better some day #i had this vsqx just sitting in my files for a while lol... i have a lot of shit in there honestly that i plan to do stuff w/ but havent #i was actually intending to make a cover of this w/ iku b/c ily her (a slowed version tho b/c the song's sadder slowed imo) #we'll see if that happens tho lolll... rip to all the covers that never actually happen. ugh i dont really like any of my past covers :') #im stubborn so maybe ill figure it out SOMEDAY. but bruh how is it im better at making them swear at each other than like. sing #CAUSE YKNOW SINGING IS THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE. ugh. vsynths got me actin crazy #sorry if the mixing's kinda bad i need to read up on how to do better mixing... tried smthn a lil different here and i think it sounds okay #but who knows. idk

[chipjrwibignaturals]

diversity loss! local autistic forced to deal with plans being suddenly changed

#I am going. to kill someone #like I get the cause of this was something out of anyone’s hands. it’s not my sisters fault things changed. #but we went from ‘I’ll come down Monday + Tuesday to help you move then drive to the lake for the rest of the week’ #to ‘actually we’re moving tomorrow can you make it a day trip and then leave Saturday for the lake w everyone else’ #and like. sure. arguably this is a ‘better’ set up but. I fucking HATE change like this #especially bc it’s so late like. okay then guess I’ll fuck myself. #I need to go unpack all my shit (bc I was being GOOD and doing shit EARLY for once!) and repack for the new plans #and like. fucking emotionally prepare for this new change bc I wasn’t THINKING this was gonna happen. im not READY yknow? #idk. fucking. slams autistic diagnostic ‘inflexible adherence to routines’ #my ROUTINE has been CHANGED (on top of ALREADY being disturbed by this whole trip) and it’s causing DISTRESS #< like. dw I’m fine i just need to be a bitch about it for a bit

[yuridovewing]

this isn't gonna happen in yuriverse cause logically i dont think leafpool would want to go through another pregnancy after the hell that happened... but considering a post oots au where mothpool has a litter maybe

#yknow initially i was all hesitant on them having a litter cause i dont wanna be like #''oh one of them is trans so they can have BIO KIDS'' #but like. man this happens irl and trans people have shitty reproductive rights and also this isnt even gonna be canon probably #so i dont give a shit anymore jsdklfjsdklfjdsklf like theres gonna be more trans couples that dont have bio kids in this verse somewhere #also i dont have like a checklist or anything but i feel strongly about having different kinds of trans characters #like. i have one trans man oc who wanted to get pregnant so he did. i have two more who openly dont want to get pregnant cause of dysphoria #cause trans people arent a collective hivemind and we're comfortable with different things #like as long as you dont fetishize us or do something gross and in poor taste (do your research to be sure) its fine imo #ok didnt mean to go on a tangent in the tags but yeah

[decompose1]

every transphobic or fearmongering argument about bottom surgery that might otherwise make me nervous fades away so easily lately 'cause every time i think about my surgery for more than a second i get so excited i start bouncing. i think that's a pretty good sign that i'm sure

#sorry i keep talking about bottom surgery its like #the real big thing i have to look forward to #and like. yknow #after all the shit that happened with me being intersex its like #me finally being able to gain control & autonomy over my body #you have no idea how exciting that is #i stopped hurting myself cause i dont wanna mess with my chances/recovery. that's huge!!!! #IDK im just #:o) #meow.txt

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends? #it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow. #i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay. #but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up. #i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay. #and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers. #and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail. #i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

[homophyte]

it is interesting to me that ive seen lately (n yknow this is subjective and likely not any real social force just what ive seen) many queer people simultaneously talking about taking back and embodying unpalatable and ‘unmarketable’ queerness (the recent return to the terms faggot and transsexual come to mind) which i think is pretty evidently shaped by the conservative moment were in of demonizing queer ppl and especially gnc and trans people as predators--it reads as a return to queer isolationism in the face of external hostility, imo--while at the same time ive seen a lot of rallying around the “original” 6 stripe rainbow flag as opposed to any of the purportedly ‘factional’ flags of different queer identities, with the assumption being different identity flags divide us while the rainbow flag encompasses everyone and its kinda fascinating to me bc the rainbow flag is probably the single most marketable and palatable and uncontroversial symbols of queerness which has been seamlessly uptaken by those who wish to sell it back to us as gets pointed out every pride month with all the cringey pride merch.... i dunno you could maybe take that as a point of hypocrisy and claim the queer community is itself in a conservative moment rn where its returning to a sense of history and historical continuity (perhaps even out of that sense of external threat) or even that the queer community has for some time been in a conservative moment given the like, decade of identity discourse and lashing out at any people deemed to not have a sufficiently established history or however we should categorize the bihets/ace discourse/transtrender-tucute discourse/pan discourse/bi lesbians discourse (because lets be frank its essentially all the same discourse just keeping up its momentum by leapfroging from one target to the next) which i think is, like, SOMEWHAT true but not entirely? its more interesting to me, in any case, as an expression of a conflict the queer community is facing given that current state of affairs RE antitransness and that very recent history. like, the simultaneous need to retreat to a safe sense of community which is welcoming to the very things the outer world is demonizing ie mutable gender, complex or contradictory experiences of gender, gender expression which is hostile to the cis binary, but also the ways in which it has to grapple with those discourses which have largely defined the community infighting for again the past decade. its queer people begging the question ‘how can we make the queer community welcoming to the girlfags and genderfucks and tboys who are being threatened when we have spent so much time making the queer community a hostile place for anyone with a non-conventional or not easily (or even just palatably) sortable sense of queer identity’. and the answer it seems to be grappling with at the moment is like, welcoming all that diversity of experience but being absolutely averse to naming it. yes we love all the fuckery with gender and sexuality never be marketable but like, ew, why are you calling yourself [insert microlabel here]. you can be genderweird but you cant call yourself genderweird. you can only exist as queer in the broadest possible way (the all-inclusive gay pride flag!) but if you try to name the specifics or use those identity labels weve been fighting over for years youre doing it wrong (the progress pride flag is now ugly and cringey and ‘too much’). i think theres something also to the way (at least on this site) transmisogynistic discourses have really taken hold as legitimate (though yknow i wont downplay how much a problem transmisogyny has like. always been in queer spaces no matter what) in the name of protecting n defending trans people. like its just regurgitated transmisogyny but its being mobilized supposedly in the service of helping trans people. idk its definitely getting a little late for me to string this together fully coherently but theres a throughline there, in the ways certain ideas are being consolidated and reified as ‘yes were more progressive now!’ when i think theres definitely something to question there in terms of like...are we? are we actually? are we doing better by the people were trying to help or are we setting strict standards and forcing ppl to adhere to them again?

#myposts #this is long and honestly probably Nothing #i dont even really have a way of proving its the same group of people saying both things except fro anecdotally seeing it #and even thats not proof either is a real social force with like power. i could be entirely wrong on every count here #but i do think theres something to the idea that like #as ive seen said #yknow 'ace discourse never ended you all just accepted ace people didnt deserve support and then moved on w those views internalized' #i think thats more broadly true for like. all those discourses i mentioned. and for the transmisogyny i alluded to #but honestly i dont even want to name the specific phenomenon im talking abt there bc those people. scare me. #but yknow ill say it ive felt way more pressure lately to not call myself pan than i did at the height of pan discourse #before it became cringe to care about it and instead of actively shitting on pan ppl we moved on to passively doing it #ive largely started just. calling myself bi to avoid the arguement. which i predicted i would have to do years ago #and now look at me doing it! not really a fluke that its happening now. i think #which isnt to say were moving 'backwards' per se but that these ideas are not now and never have been really challenged #so weve just internalized their logics--reactionary logics--and its having an interesting effect now that we need a progressive community #for our safety. #now we cant say anything about it because to bring it up is jeopardizing everything weve built and the people were keeping safe! #cause we dont count as people deserving of safety were disruptors who only belong when we dont make noise. idk. or thats how i feel #again i dont really know if this is true at all im more just...thinking through it i think #basically like what im seeing--i think--comes from simultaneously that need to be unmarketable in the face of hostility #coming into conflict with a decade of momentum to make queers solely marketable. and i think thats producing some interesting--but sucky #--discourses in the current moment #last disclaimer that i might and am likely totally wrong! okay lauren out. post send *nervous sweating*

[idkanameatall]

I need to work on schoolwork but my brain came up with a kickass HC ab how immortality works in my mechs au

#the duck quacks #yknow how theres a headcannon about how the mechanisms have *elritch energy* fused into them to cause the mechanisms immortality? #i took it a step further (and also applied lots of sorts of immortality for diff characters) #immortallity (which is basicly advanced regeneration/bringing back from dead/stop of aging) is caused by exposure to eldrith shit #altho it isnt completely immortality due to the fact said energy runs out after some time #it happens very slow but it will happenn #(Basic eldritch exposure is what happened to Lyf in my fic and caused their immortality) #vampires are also born from eldritch exposure. but its more like a disease spread through blood #vampires fangs can suck out blood or inject their own blood in thte victim #(injecting causes immortality) #the mechs are immortal due their mechanisms being exposed to eldritch materials before being used #(Jonny and Nastyas immortality is also a bit thru blood transfusion from doc carmillla (she didint figure out mechanizing fully yet)) #also king cole was immortal due to the fact hed expose people to eldritch stuff for a bit and then eat them. #it wasnt the most effective but it extended his lifetime quite a bit! #I also have additional theories related to Briar Rose Loki Odin and Olympians for this fic #Briar rose is v dependent on said fics lore. Loki/Odin werent fully immortal but they did have a fuckton of exposure which did some stuff #and the olympians have the whole Sphinx disease going on which works a bit differently #(it is sorta a more sosphicicated way than king cole did but also way more complicated) #i might write a full fic about it someday from teh perspective of a researcher on immortality #(its already in the works coz i am doing way less on my schoolwork than i should)

[235uranium]

"loki is akechi's hate" "loki is destroying akechi's psyche" you're all cowards. loki is akechi's anger and outrage at being trapped and abused. and that is NOT a bad thing

#☢️.txt #yknow how ppl say that being upset at your mistreatment is a form of self love? i think loki can be that. #tbqh i tend to fall into the featherman seeker theory but like. i dont think wakaba implanted anything or even intended a 2nd awakening? #in my head wakaba is kinda akechi's maruki. she was Definitely using this kid as a human experiment and very fucked up shit was happening #but she /did/ care about him and told herself that it would all be okay in the end. right up until she realize oh right shido is horrible #anyways. i think that at some point during the experiments he did have a moment of actual anger that caused loki's awakening #generally im on the 'wakaba's death is one of his few regrets' #and i think his feelings on her are extremely complicated. she was an adult who was actually nice to him and expressed concern about him #unfortunately she was also using him as a lab rat and never tried to actually get him out #god. that theory drives me insane. what WAS wakaba doing. why do akechi and futaba have the same rare blood type #also do you ever think about how while loki is a trickster + god of chaos #he's trapped and prevented from interfering until ragnarok? #and akechi is a wildcard unable to truly use his power + seems to be a bit of a control freak #despite his main power being to make people lose all control?? and how if he does manage to unchain himself it'll mean the end of the world?

[ozymoron]

i dont think i actually like shipping for like normal shipping reasons im pretty sure i only like ships cause i like seeing boys kiss and girls kiss especially if what they have going on is fucked up and weird

#⚠️ #my favourite characters always seem to be the ones that dont really have much romance shit going on #like jerome just doesnt have anything romantic going on. spencer reid i remember like no one wanted him lmao except that one girl who died #so fast it was kinda funny pretty sure later he gets with jj but i genuinely couldnt give less of a fuck lol #and ash is more like sex focused compared to romance probably cause yknow having your girlfriend die and then attack you probably #gives you a couple like issues around romance and shit #like he never really gets another partner does he #he got close with that one cop but she died #i mean he did get married to that one lady candace barr i remember her name cause its a pun and i like pun names #pretty sure her name was candace #but like that didnt last very long so #hes so so awful thatw as so fucked up of him i need him so bad but still #herbert is more focused on his work than on romance and sex hes very aroace to me #but the whole fandom is just danbert which is fine i agree theyre gay as hell but like after a while i started losing interest lol #same happened with ed its all just nygmobblepot

[chesthighwater]

(by the way i am working on a massive paper with a rapidly approaching deadline so i have been doing absolutely nothing other than burning the candle at both ends but this idea gripped me SO HARD like directly by the throat that when i opened tumblr to take a 5 minute break i inexplicably found myself in the word document. mentally i astral projected into the oblivion plane while my body wrote i think)

#j #like i genuinely. if this was a conscious decision it would not have happened yknow? cause i have so much shit to do #cannot be writing fic right now #but this was not me. this was the demon. the demon took over

[punkcherries]

sonic prime so cool ............

#cherryz txt #me shaking netflix WHERES the rest of it!!!!!!!!! (in due time. hopefully.) #i hate u streaming services and ur power to kill the things i love.................... #sonic #sonic prime spoilers #<- in the following tags. be wary . #sonic and shadows interactions have been so delightful . i wish sega let shadow have friends and like Feelings #sonics writing overall has been very good . very people-focused trying to save everyone he can but just #very ahead of himself and how that lack of forethought causes so many of the conflicts for him #very inline for yknow . fastest hedgehog around. #REALLY enjoy seeing him look like a sad wet puppy when shit goes to fuck . boy just wants to go home!!!!!!!!! #i do wonder if something insane will happen if all the shatterversions of characters congregate #like . we didnt See thorn interact directly with rusty or black rose. just that the latter 2 saw her and were like Woah................... #also . i love u nine . baby son . he wanted to show sonic his lil grim home so bad and then sonic wasnt into his idea and im SADDD #HE HAD LIL PALM TREES!!!!!!!!! WAHH............. #the way nine talks about what might happen to him after the prism is in 1 piece in ghost hill makes me wonder also #the shatterspaces are implied to essentially be the product of original green hill being torn to bits . #so one would assume thats true for the characters in them yea? so does nine think he might get 'absorbed' into og tails? #theres always been a vibe to me that all the shatterversions of the cast are essentially like . distinct aspects of their whole characters #in some way anyhow . like a pirate for knuckles makes sense as a kind of manifestation of his focus on like #defending the master emerald . in a world Without the master emerald hes essentially crazy for any replacement he can get? #so its interesting to think that nine could in a similar vein be like tails' resentment of being Just a wingman #and the frustration of being picked on as a babby . and how that might tie into a feeling of like #'i would be nothing without sonic' bcus sonic was the one to stand up for him back then right? #INTERESTING. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk if any of tihs holds any water im just brain vomitting at this point but WAHHH #obviously all the shatterversions are and wish to be seen as their own individual people but like. NARRATIVELY speaking #u know?????? u understand. ive decided this for u the person reading this You Understand.

[onemillionfurries]

I think everyone needs to make a "peace and love on planet earth" tag for their blog. A tag where videos, images, memes, and stories can be compiled of humanity showing kindness, empathy, joy, beauty, and love. A respite from the horrors that are shoved in our faces on a daily basis. A reminder that no matter what, we are all human, we are all one, and that we are all capable of being kind to each other and bringing beauty to this world.

#lab notes #the tag doesnt need to specifically be called 'peace and love on planet earth' but yknow #god i just love humanity so much #sorry this post is so rambly and repetitive i just think its so important that we have a reminder like this yknow #pls excuse me while i cry over my love of humanity and people just being so so kind to each other #bc yeah so much fucking horrible shit is happening in the world caused by humans #but that is an extremely narrow few who are influenced by greed and power and capitalism #the vast majority of humanity is filled with those who love and care for each other #and those who love and care for complete strangers #i see way too much nihilism around humanity and its blights to the point where there are people out there who genuinely think all of #humanity is nothing but greed and suffering but no!!! we are a social species! we evolved to work together and help each other and love. #to save humanity first you have to fucking love humanity!!! #if you want to make the world a better place first you have to find a reason to love it! and we are a part of this world so you need to #have a reason to love us! to love yourself!! #go outside and spread some fucking joy to others. hold open a door for a stranger. compliment someones outfit. help someone carry #their groceries. please even just the littlest of things can mean the world to others and can make the biggest of differences. #WOW ok. speaking of rambles. #anyways #peace and love on planet earth #<- an easy way to just click this tag n go to my own #bc i think its important for people to see

[ff2-soda-pop]

I'm ngl, I'm not actually having as much fun with side order as I was expecting...

#I've been stuck doing the same shit since getting kicked out of the spire of order and 1) the levels are getting REALLY repetitive #2) I've done two boss fights since then but it feels like that's impacted nothing? so im just like. what was the point of that then #3) I keep getting splatted and sent back to the start. which wouldnt be a bad thing on its own but the main cause of almost all of them #is that I keep getting cornered and then a swarm of enemies larger then I can handle shows up and I can't get away (I've seen the camera #clip through the jelletons models SO MUCH) or I get swarmed while I'm busy trying to figure out what the hell I'm DOING #(example: lost track of infinity ball and was trying to find it again. yknow so i could COMPLETE THE OBJECTIVE) #and then it just doesn't even feel Fair anymore because like..... WHAT THE HELL AM I MEANT TO DO ABOUT THAT?? HOW AM I MEANT TO FIX THAT??? #also seriously i havent had ANYTHING happen since like. the tutorial. its just do the same shit over and over until i get too tired of it #which makes it all the more frustrating #like im sure i'll have fun again WHEN THINGS PICK BACK UP and im not doing the same thing over and over. but right now i am. #and it's not very fun. and i'd been doing that 'exact same thing with no feeling of progressions AT ALL' for literal hours #side order spoilers #splatoon spoilers

[coloursofaparadox]

im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit

#i think the problem now is that historically my sleep habits have been Really Messed Up by what can loosely be called insomnia my whole life #its always kinda just been a given that if im in bed and i cant sleep there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help #and thats not for lack of trying i have tried every meditation and suggested solution possible. it does not happen. #if i cant fall asleep and try to force myself w/o distractions i will be awake staring at the ceiling for hours. usually till the morning #thats not an exaggeration it happened often before i gave up on it. so i figured out coping methods! #namely 1) making sure my body is taken care of as well as possible to make sure its not caused by pain or hunger or anxiety #and 2) not trying to force it and accepting itll happen when it happens. and then reading a book or watching a show on a dim screen #until i physically cant keep my eyes open and then i can fall asleep. if i try any earlier than that no dice. my brain wakes itself up again #these worked for years! but now thanks to adhd meds that actually make my brain quiet. uh. these same coping methods are. not working #im physically tired and start my usual routine and wait to pass out while reading but i just. dont. ever. #like. the physically tired feeling has never made a difference in my body cooperating with sleep. but now apparently it will???? #and ive been ignoring it??? bc im used to it not working? i tried just. closing my eyes and trying to lay still yesterday and it WORKED #after like. 10 minutes or so. it was fucking crazy. i thought media and pop culture was lying about people doing that. #anyways. apparently i can fall asleep like a human and not some kind of weird chronically exhausted cryptid now. #(because of new adhd meds to be clear) but i havent been because i didnt even think to TRY it. since. yknow. cryptid status. #shits weird.

[bugflies00]

you know i understand people have different coping mechanisms but i really wish some of those were not public

#^this is about. fuckin . mcyt edtwt #<- warning for talk of that in tags take care of yourself<3 #i have this really bad habit of going down rabbitholes of edtwt accounts #cause someone will qrt one and then i cant help but click and click etc #and the thing with mcyt ones is like . i cant have my main interest ruined like that #like one of the best things in my life #cause its already happening a bit ill see a recent picture of wilbur and think 'i want to look like that' #but not in the way ive meant it for years (just regular gender envy) more like .Yknow . Yeah #anyway sorry i try not to talk too much about body image shit on here but . Todays bad #it feels so stupid too seeing all these accs talk about the drastic stuff they do & im just sitting here having had a regular dinner like #it feels stupid to even talk about it as an issue idk #like yeah last year sure i was trying my best to not eat lunch on most school days but thats not even the case now so like . Idk #<- Definitely out of choice and not cause my friend won't let me skip Yep yep yep #alex.rambles.txt