#people saying this show was a comfort show. or a safe space show or whatever. thats great for you

[asgardian--angels]

you know it's bad when tumblr's being the more mature social media site when it comes to rancid takes on izzy's death

#ofmd #holy shit twitter's devolved into a battleground #what is WRONG with yall involving david jenkins in your beef #you dont have to like what happened but #how many fucking years in fandom does it take for people to learn to be civil #and not base their entire identities around characters so if anything happens to them it's a personal attack #that they then take straight to the creator #if a character dying causes you that much distress then that's a You problem and david fucking jenkins is not responsible #and he's not your therapist #and besides. just because something happened you didnt like doesnt mean it was a bad writing choice #but even if it were. you never have the right to make it anyone else's problem #i cant imagine having the gall #don't do this guys. the cast and crew are so lovely to us. don't make them stop interacting with us #people saying this show was a comfort show. or a safe space show or whatever. thats great for you #but it's not djenk's responsibility to cater to you and not his problem if the show doesn't meet your infinitely high expectations #he's telling a story. things will happen in those stories. #and it's actually p rare on tv that creators are getting to tell the story the way they want so personally im grateful #if you don't like his vision then don't watch it. you don't have the right to bully him. seriously whats wrong with you #cause yeah im sure con o'neill would love what youre doing huh #the fate of a fictional character is sliiiiiightly less important than being kind to people in the real world yknow #only tagging this so people can block for spoilers

[wongyuuu]

lens of ice | yjh | two (final)

pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, these people are just in soo love, smut word count: 17k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, masturbation (f) a/n: i can't belive i actually managed to finish this one! i started to write it maybe in october and it took me forever but here it is. again, thank you to @ressonancee for giving me the idea and putting up with my shit💓

part one || part two (final)

The thought of going back on your word crossed your mind, truthfully. You weren’t even sure why you said yes to dinner with Jeonghan in the first place.

It was a recipe for disaster. It was the only way you could possibly describe the situation, to begin with. The flirting had gotten out of hand, to the point where Seungkwan was already angry and had said “if he grows balls big enough to ask you out, please say yes, this tension is annoying”. Vernon had agreed.

When you heard that from Seungkwan, you thought that he was crazy, that he had completely lost his mind. While it was safe to say that you had developed a crush on Jeonghan, something completely inappropriate in your work, it was hard to tell where he stood.

You liked to think that from day one you were able to say what was on Jeonghan’s mind. You had been able to say that he was holding back on his answers and you called him out on his shit, something that proved to be very efficient, because after that he started to answer all of your questions with honesty. Or at least, you liked to think that he was.

It never really crossed your mind that Jeonghan might have some sort of interest in you. You thought that he was flirting more for sport than for anything else.

The rumors ran around, about how he was sort of a player but he was careful not to date any other skater. Not to create a sense of discomfort, someone had said on a forum online.

It was something that you had yet to ask him. About his love life. And there were two main reasons for that: 1) you didn’t know if it was something that he wanted to talk about and unless he had a wife or a serious girlfriend, it mattered very little to the documentary; 2) you didn’t want to know the answer.

It had never happened to you like that before. You had done so many interviews, went to many places, met so many different people, and not a single one of them was able to captivate you quite as Jeonghan had.

You knocked on the door and waited. A second later, Jeonghan opened the door. You had grown too used to seeing him in comfortable clothes, shirts that were way too big for him, sweats. The only piece of clothing that showed any shape of his body were the pants he used to practice and even then, everything was hidden under a large hoodie.

The man in front of you had tailored pants and a dress shirt on, the sleeves folded back, revealing his arm.

You cleared your throat, suddenly unaware of what to say.

“I was thinking you had given up,” he said with a smile, almost uncertain.

You shook your head immediately.

“There was a lot of traffic today, it’s a friday after all”

It was indeed friday but there wasn’t as much traffic as you made it seem. The truth was that you were late to leave your apartment. Just as you were leaving you got cold feet and sat down on the couch for about twenty minutes, wondering if you were doing the right thing.

What if whatever happened that night, let it be good or bad, affected your job? Realistically speaking, there was no way that it wouldn’t. If it turned out to be a bad date, then things could get awkward. And if it turned out to be good you simply wouldn’t know how to handle yourself or him.

“Sorry that I didn’t take you out, out. And this is all that I had to offer”

He took a step to the side, giving you enough space to walk in. Although you had been to his home many times and sort of knew how it looked from the heart, it felt different to walk in without having Seungkwan and Vernon at your back, carrying one too many bags of gear. The place looked all too different and familiar at the same time.

“No, this is great actually” you smiled at him.

Your smile grew bigger once you saw the table he had set. The room was half lit by candles, in the center of the table was a small vase with fresh flowers, the city behind the window a perfect canvas. A bottle of wine waited for the two of you and the plates, delicate porcelain, were set. Instead of sitting opposite each other, Jeonghan made it so that you were both facing the window.

“You said you liked the night view,” he said while scratching the back of his head.

You turned to him, smiling, wanting to reassure him that it was perfect.

“I really do,” you said softly “Did you cook?”

The apartment smelled heavenly. It was the smell of homemade food if you still even knew what that was like. At least you had never ordered food that smelled like that. Maybe ordering was something that you weren’t that good at, or maybe Jeonghan was just one of those people who went above and beyond even when just ordering.

“I did,” he said proudly “I don’t know if it tastes good, but I followed the recipe to the T”

He pulled the chair out for you, his smile sweet while he watched you. 

The little butterflies on your stomach found life again, suddenly floating around. You wanted to face-palm yourself. Just a few months before you thought the worst about Jeonghan and suddenly there you were, saying yes to a date with him, your heart hammering inside your chest. 

With one of his hands still on the back of our chair, Jeonghan reached for the bottle of wine, pouring some of it into the glass in front of you.

You expected him to sit by your side but he took a step back, making a turn to the kitchen. You started to get up to follow him, but Jeonghan came back and pushed you onto the chair again. 

“Let me help you,” you laughed, looking up at him.

Jeonghan scrunched his nose at you and shook his head. 

“You stay right here. I’m just going to bring the food out”

He squeezed your shoulder before moving to the kitchen.

You rested your chin on your hand, looking at the city in front of you. There were very few parts of town that had such a beautiful view, not that you were one to enjoy looking at lit-up buildings. But maybe it was the moment, it was the way the way your skin tingled where Jeonghan’s fingers had touched you. You pressed a hand to your chest, urging your heart to calm down a little.

You liked to think that you were only feeling that way because it had been a long time since you had dated someone, since anyone had shown real interest in you, since you wanted to get to know someone past the work environment. 

There was a little movement to your right before Jeonghan came back into the room. He set the dish in front of you and while you weren’t too sure what it was — it looked like some kind of stew — it smelled and looked amazing.

“I have to admit that I don’t usually cook a lot, or at all most times” he laughed “Most times someone comes in and cooks enough for a week or two, following the diets I have to be on. So all I have to do is take it out of the freezer and eat”

You watched as he set the dish in front of you, steam coming out of it, and put some on the place in front of you. He did the same for himself before finally sitting by your side. 

“I never saw someone around here, besides Joshua”

You took a sip of the wine before taking the spoon in your hand. 

“She usually comes when I’m out for practice, or in these past few months…” Jeonghan was in the middle of his sentence when he saw your writhed face “What’s wrong?”

“I’m really sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with both hands, trying to hold back your laugh.

Jeonghan looked at you, laughing too, but he was in complete disbelief.

“It can’t be this bad” he reached for his spoon.

You were already laughing when Jeonghan started to cough, taking a large gulp of the wine. How had he managed to fuck up so bad was beyond him. He followed the recipe to the details but somehow it tasted bitter.

“Did you taste it, at all?”

“I… no?”

He groaned when you started to laugh at him again but somehow ended up right along with you. 

“I swear I followed the recipe,” he said again. 

He wanted to have a nice date with you and get to know you better. Although it wasn’t going exactly as he had planned, seeing you laugh like that, so loudly and carefree somehow made it all worth it. Jeonghan made a mistake that he shouldn’t have, one that with someone else would have turned the night into a complete disaster but with you, it became something to laugh about. 

And Jeonghan loved the sound of your laugh. Since he met you on that first day, he wondered what it would be like to hear it. You had gone off on him, baring guns in both hands, your hostility screaming at him the entire time. 

He had done his best, or at least he thought he did. However, on the very next day, you called him off on his shit and said that the footage they had was unusable because he hadn’t been honest enough. 

Jeonghan hadn’t been honest enough with anyone, ever. He wasn’t even sure that he was honest with himself. He always worried about whether or not he was able to move forward. Pushing forward was one thing, actually living was another one, entirely too different. 

Throughout most of his life, Jeonghan only knew how to push forward, like a bull. The world around him mattered very little, the people around him mattered even less. 

Somewhere along the way, Jeonghan became all too obsessed with numbers and the love he had for the sport became a shadow. Even then, when he was doing everything in his power to make it to the next Olympics, his last, he wasn’t really sure it was something he still wanted or if he was doing all of that simply because it became second nature to him. 

Skating was like breathing but it had become awfully painful to do so. 

And then you came in and for the first time, he wanted to impress someone. Who he already was, or the version of him he showed, did nothing for you. You looked bored most of the time. Talking with Seungkwan about it had made things clear in his mind. And he felt it in the way the original direction of the documentary had changed. 

It wasn’t just about the sport anymore, how he was healing to make it to the competition. It truly became about him. 

“Maybe something was rotten, don’t worry about it” you patted his hand, reassuringly. 

Jeonghan saw a chance and he took it, holding your hand. For a second your fingers stilled in his, your eyes a little wide looking back at his. He almost pulled away from you, his dropping a little when you didn’t seem to want his touch. 

Then your eyes grew a little softer and ever so lightly you held his hand back. 

“I really wanted to have a nice dinner with you, though”

You couldn’t help but smile at his cute pout. 

“Maybe we could order something?” you pointed at the wine in front of you “In my experience, wine and pizza are a great combo”

You were the first one in the office, which was a first for you. Not that you were someone who was constantly late. It was just that you were usually the last one to leave. 

However, sleep wasn’t something that came to you. You were too giggly, your mind wandering through places that normally it didn’t so you thought that working a little was maybe a good idea to take your mind off things. 

Not things. Someone. 

Yoon Jeonghan.

Despite the initial accident, the night had been nothing but perfect. When was the last time you had fun? Actual fun, not the kind you sort of force yourself to have not to bother others, or to try to fit in some sort of situation. 

The night with Jeonghan had been so easy. Conversation simply floating around you. You didn’t feel like you were there to interview him or to be interviewed. You were just talking, getting to know each other in a way that was so entirely different from how things had gone between the two of you until then.

Jeonghan, you learned, was a menace in school and with his sister, always playing pranks and still somehow managing to get away every single time. I could make such an innocent face and everyone would just fall for it, he said at some point. There was no hint of regret in his voice and his eyes were filled with mischievousness while he talked. 

“There were these kids who made fun of me because I was a small kid. I tried to let it go but it went on for months. One day,” he said smiling, the memory of the day still completely fresh in his mind “I was already angry that I couldn’t make a move, I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. They kept picking on me, saying these snarky comments so I waited. One of them left his bag behind, with his skates hanging off of them. I filled both of them with boiling water. I still remember his mother screaming at him”

You gasped, sort of laughing but also a little bit in shock at the mind of a 9-year-old. But awfully dangerous too, for both of them. 

“What if he put the skates on?”

It was hard to mask the horror in your voice

“It was after practice, while we waited for our parents to pick us up. He left his skates back and went to play because his mom was late. I just wanted to ruin his skates, not for him to get hurt. I took his takes to the kitchen, poured the water in, and let it sit there for about ten minutes before I put his bag back where I found it”

Your laugh was too spontaneous and Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh along. Since the moment he saw you for the first time, he thought of you as beautiful but watching you laugh, so openly and carefree was breathtaking. His heart behaved in a way that he didn’t see coming. 

“I think we need to send you to a doctor because I refuse to believe you’re normal”

Suddenly just holding your hand wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss you, he wanted to know what it would feel like to press against yours and have you want it too. His mind, he had decided long before he even met you, was the kind that liked to play tricks. So maybe it was playing a trick and it came up with the thought that you wanted to kiss him too. Maybe he was imagining that your eyes moved from his eyes to his lips from time to time.

He wanted to make the first move, he knew that if he didn’t the chance of you doing it was very little. At the same time, he was scared that it might push you too far. You had gotten surprised enough when he held your hand.

Realistically he knew that it wasn’t much but the two of you worked together and there was still so much more to do, the Olympics were still months away. And although you weren’t going to see each other every single day in those months, you would still have enough meetings. 

So what if he read it all wrong and things suddenly became awkward again? The last thing he wanted to do was go back to how it was when you first time. You had been cold and distant but for an entirely different reason. 

“Jeonghan?” your voice had been the quiets he had ever heard from you “It might be the wine talking so if I do say something weird please blame it on the alcohol and tomorrow we pretend that I never said anything at all”

He looked the the two bottles already empty and the third one by the middle. It was, indeed, a lot of wine. 

“Is everything okay?”

You sighed, eyes closed for a second before finally looking at him again. 

“I need you to kiss me, okay?” you said exasperated “Because if you don’t I don’t think I…”

Jeonghan’s lips were on yours before you even finished what you were saying. He hoped that it was along the lines of I don’t think I will. 

Your lips, he decided right then, were his favorite thing in the entire world. He loved that when he pressed harder you made way for him, your lips parted to give him full access. Your hand moved from his chest, up to his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck, lightly tugging at his hair. And when you let out a small whimper on the back of your throat he swore his entire world almost became undone. 

The night had turned, somehow, into a make-out session. The two of you ended up on his couch, hands all over each other and bubbling laughter. And you refused to complain. It was everything you wanted and then so much more. 

Leaving had been so hard. All you wanted to do was to lose yourself in Jeonghan and all that he was and that silently promised to be, even if it was just for one night. You had to force yourself to leave and Jeonghan didn’t make it easier for you. If anything, he did his best to make it as hard as possible. 

He went down with you, and waited for the cab by your side, your hand tucked inside the pocket of his jacket while he played with your fingers. 

“You could let me take you back” you looked at him, eyebrows raised “I don’t mean driving but I could get in the cab with you and then come back”

“That’s just a waste of time. I’ll text you once I get home, I promise”

It was clear that your answer wasn’t the one he wanted but it was the only one he was going to get. He pulled you closer to him while you waited for the cab. The position was awkward you didn’t want to move, not in the least.

You were there for a couple of minutes before the taxi finally pulled up by your side. Jeonghan opened the door for you and waited for you to get inside. 

“Sir, I may not look like it, but I am crazy. So I hope you can get her some safe and sound”

The driver looked at you from his rearview mirror, eyes wide. 

“He really is” you played along “He once threw hot water at a kid”

Jeonghan laughed, a little too hysterically, too much wine you were sure. He stuck his head through the window and quickly kissed you. 

“Seriously, text me as soon as you get home”

With a groan, you hid your face in your hands, knowing fully well that the warmth in your cheeks didn't come from the weather but from the memory of Jeonghan. You laughed a little, remembering how you had to assure the driver that Jeonghan wasn't actually crazy and that he had never thrown hot water at a child. The man didn't seem to believe you but that mattered very little. 

You were overflown with a sort of happiness that was new and also so very scary. 

That giddiness was something you always wanted to feel, but never actually got around to it. Your previous boyfriends, not that there were many of them, never really managed to get that much of a reaction out of you. That was not to say that you didn’t like them at all, because you did. You wouldn’t have stayed with them for a second too long if there were no feelings at all involved. 

Your feelings for them, however, were so small compared with the way you felt about Jeonghan. It was one date, just one night, and it felt as if your entire life had changed in a way you thought that there would be no coming back from. 

“You’re early,” someone said behind you. 

You felt as if your soul had just left your body when your entire body jumped at the new sound. You had been so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice Seungkwan walking in and of course, Vernon right behind him. 

“Jesus, what the fuck” you ran your hands over your face before turning around to face him. 

Like most mornings, Seungkwan had a coffee in his hand and his phone in the other one. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you had ever seen him without a coffee in his hands. You weren’t sure how someone could drink so much coffee and still function but then again, he was drinking iced americano most times and the coffee in there had so much water that you were sure most of the caffeine was deluded so…

“So…” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

God, you hated the fact that he knew. Behind him, Vernon also had an expectant face. Of course, he too wanted to know. The problem was that you didn’t want either of them to know. It was something you wanted to keep to yourself, locked behind countless doors. And maybe, just maybe, if you were lucky enough you’d get to savor that feeling again if a second date with Jeonghan ever happened. 

“Do you want to go over something or we can just… you know, work?”

“Aaah” he complained, carefully setting his coffee on his desk before spinning your chair until you turned to him “You can’t leave me in the dark like this”

“Us, actually,” Vernon said, doing the best he could to hide his smile. 

You had always thought that Vernon was someone who was on the quieter side of the world. Mostly he kept to himself but when paired with Boo Seungkwan? The man could be just as troublesome as the other one. Pair that with the fact that both of them were good friends who often went out together and you’d get yourself a perfect mix for a gossip disaster. 

Seungkwan, as the one who is so friendly everyone just wants to spill their deepest secrets because he looks like someone who’d always offer crazy advice. 

Vernon, as the quiet one everyone wants to tell their secrets because he looks like someone who’d keep all of them just to himself. 

The one thing everyone seems to forget is the fact that those two are friends and they talk. Hopefully only amongst themselves but you weren’t willing to bet on it. There was no way you’d want people to know that you went out with the one person who you were working with. The celebrity, most of all. 

“I’m not saying a word” you just shook your head and moved away from him "We have a lot of work to do, so get going".

“You’re not saying a word about what exactly?” Jihoon said, coming up from behind Seungkwan.

The younger man looked somewhat in distress, his eyes wide going from you to Jihoon, then back to you again. It was at that moment you realized that he had never really crossed your mind, in any way while you were Jeonghan, ever. He wasn’t even an afterthought or anything of the sort. He wasn’t even your boss. Jihoon was no one. 

“I went on a date last night, that’s all”

It was as if you were the one entering the ice, the one who was being watched by so many eyes. Instead, you were one of the people watching. Your legs were shaking up and down, up and down, and there was no real way for you to stop it from happening. You felt as if your future was the one in line, not Jeonghan’s. 

To you, the only real consequence of him not making it was that that documentary would be canceled, for him it meant that everything he had worked for was lost and his last opportunity would never come. 

So, the reality of it was that you were nervous for him. Because you had finally gotten a real glimpse of Jeonghan and you knew how much it meant to him, all of it. He downplayed it, yes, but it was on everything he didn’t say. 

You could see it in his eyes whenever he mentioned figure skating, which was surprisingly very little when you didn’t have a camera on his face. It was clear in the practiced every single movement with such care, always aiming for precision, in an almost healthy way. 

Jeonghan downplayed it a lot but the sport meant everything to him. 

You sat in the bleachers, Seungkwan to your left and Vernon to your right. The three of you hadn’t gotten permission to be closer to the ice, or anywhere near really. Athlete after athlete performed, every single one of them doing so well that you felt your heart start to beat in a mismatched way. 

Your stomach was tied in knots, a lump on your throat as if you were about to spill your guts out at any given moment. You were too nervous and you hated it. Because if Jeonghan saw you, which you doubted, you wanted him to see someone who was confident and sure that he was going to do well, not someone who looked like she was about to faint. I will find you in the crow, he said the night before.

“You look like you’re the one about to be evaluated,” Seungkwan said.

He patted your hand, which unknowingly gripped your thigh as strongly as you possibly could, your knuckles turning white. 

“How did he do this for so many years?” you whispered

The question was more to yourself than to Seungkwan. 

In one of the many conversations, you had with Jeonghan, coming to mind. 

“The worst part of it all is being compared to other people,” he said, eyes distant, as if his mind was taking him to somewhere he didn’t want to be but at that moment he didn’t have a choice “Because what if I’m having a great day but the other isn’t? What if I had more chance to practice than others? What if I have an injury and the other doesn’t? We’re never on the same scale”

He looked troubled, eyes brows furrowed. You took his hand in yours, your fingers massaging his palm. His eyes looked a bit clearer when he turned to you but still, there was so much vulnerability in them. For a moment it was like seeing the same boy from the videos, someone who seemed powerful but was still so scared.

And ultimately that’s what it was. Fear. 

It was his last chance and he was scared if might fail. Jeonghan wasn’t too sure that he could live with himself if he did. 

“Truth is, there’s never going to be a scale. Ideally, it would be great but that is not the reality of it. I think your best should be enough, always. You’ve doing everything you can and we can all see it” you scooted closer to him on the couch, resting your shin on his shoulder “To me, you’re the best in the entire world, ever. It’s not much, I know, but I hope you know that I will unconditionally root for you”

Maybe it was unfair for Jeonghan to think like that, but for the first time in many years, he truly felt as if someone was by his side. You held his hand because you knew that he was scared, you cared and the reasons were yet unknown to him. Either way, he was going to hold onto it.

“I think that for people like us it sounds excruciating, but I bet he’s used to it” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back.

He hates it too, you wanted to say to choose to stay quiet. If there were things Jeonghan wanted to keep a secret, even if it was opposite to what you were supposed to do, you would keep your mouth shut. 

Even before the screams, you felt something swift in the air and it could only be described as Jeonghan. It was as if the air suddenly turned electric and his present, all on its own, larger than the small arena you were in. When you finally saw him, the air got stuck in your lungs.

On a daily basis, Jeonghan was an extremely handsome man. Almost inhuman and unfair to others around him. But that day, while he walked in, he was indescribable. Nothing about him was normal.

It was like seeing a work of art in motion as if a painting on display in a fancy museum had come to life and was walking among the mere mortals of that gymnasium.

Jeonghan wore blue, a color that you discovered was his signature. In every competition he participated in, even as a child, Jeonghan wore blue. Whether it was the entire outfit or just some detail. He always wore blue.

And then, like a moth drawn to a flame, Jeonghan's eyes met yours and he smiled. A different smile than the one you had seen him give so many times before. It was more natural, even sincere. You wanted to have smiled back and waved at him, but it was as if your entire body was frozen and any movement was impossible. And maybe you didn't want even more attention focused on yourself. The people sitting next to the three of you were whispering among themselves, so the last thing you wanted was for them to find out that that beautiful smile was directed at you.

"I don't know what's going on between you, but if someone smiled like that at me, right in the middle of the arena, with dozens of people watching, I'd get married immediately" Seungkwan didn't share the same feeling of remaining still and silent, but at least he was polite enough to whisper at your side.

A whimper escaped your mouth, but you chose not to say anything else. Because, in truth, you didn't even know what was happening between the two of you. There wasn't a conversation, a simple "yes, we're together", but whatever it was, however long it lasted, you were willing to enjoy every second of it.

Jeonghan positioned himself in the center of the ice, eyes closed, and took a deep breath, once, twice. The first chords of If I Could See You Again sounded through the scattered speakers and a new and completely unknown feeling spread throughout your body. Pride, perhaps.

One after another, Jeonghan executed the moves with precision, almost exactly like he had done in training. You couldn't tell if the differences were good or bad, which could take or add points to the total.

Almost at the end, with just a few seconds left until the end of the short program, Jeonghan lost his balance. Not to the point where he fell, but enough that he had to touch the ground to stop himself from falling. The three of them said, in unison, "shit", Seungkwan making a crying sound in the back of his throat.

With one last turn, the performance came to an end and the song ended. Even with the mistake, the crowd exploded in screams and applause. The famous rabbits and stuffed animals were thrown towards Jeonghan. Following the people around you, you also stood up, clapping your hands.

Your heart begged Jeonghan to look in your direction again, even for a second. Jeonghan raised his head and the smile he gave was that rehearsed one, that you had seen many times before and that wasn't even remotely real. The irritation at his mistake was clear in his eyes, but no one seemed to notice.

He bowed to the judges and the audience behind them, sliding across the ice to catch one of the swooping rabbits. Finally, he turned towards you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. Throwing all caution out the window, you said "you did well" without making any real sound and hoped he understood.

Despite the bad taste in his mouth, left by his complete inability to complete the performance without mistakes, Jeonghan felt as if the hand that was squeezing his heart loosened when he looked at you. He waved once more to the audience and skated to the exit. His coach was waiting for him. The man's face was a strange mixture of relief and frustration.

"You did well," he said, even though the words were the same as yours, the intention was completely different "It wasn't such a serious mistake, so it shouldn't have too many points deducted. If it goes well tomorrow, we can advance to the world championship"

Jeonghan nodded. He didn't need to hear that, he knew, better than anyone, what was at risk and what he needed to do.

A performance without errors, that's all he needed.

At the request of Jeonghan's coach, there was no filming after the performance.

"He can talk about everything tomorrow. Now he has to focus on the free program"

You had no arguments to argue and you didn't want to either. Filming was, by far, your last concern. All you wanted to know was if Jeonghan was okay. You spent hours debating whether to call him or not, and in the end, you decided not to.

The big truth was that you had no idea where the lines were, which ones you could cross, and which ones you should religiously stay behind.

Therefore, you chose to send a text. Are you okay? was all you ask. Then you sat on the bed, legs crossed, and waited.

You didn't know what to do if Jeonghan would respond, or if he was concentrating to the point of not going near his cell phone - which was probably a good idea.

Jeonghan had the fourth-best score among short programs. Seungkwan explained that despite the mistake and the near fall, Jeonghan had moves that were considered difficult to execute and those were worth more points and he was precise in almost all of them, which resulted in him having a good score.

"If he hadn't made any mistakes, it's possible he would have come first," he commented, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Seungkwan was easily a fan. He didn't make the slightest point of hiding it. You weren’t one at first, you knew the bare minimum about skating, but as time went on, as you got to know Jeonghan, it was completely inevitable.

"I'm sure he can do it" Seungkwan assured.

The phone vibrated at first and half a second later the screen lit up and Jeonghan's name shone on the screen, a photo of his smiling face above his name. You hadn't uploaded a photo when you saved his contact, but you were sure who the culprit was.

"When did you put a picture of yourself on my phone?"

Jeonghan felt relief wash over his body just hearing your voice, knowing you were smiling on the other side. He was able to take a deep breath for the first time since the morning.

He couldn't quite understand how he had gotten into that situation. He couldn't even pinpoint a catalyzing moment, the moment he realized something was changing. One moment you were just someone he had to work with and then you became someone he longed for. There was no middle ground. It was like someone flipped a switch in his mind and his heart, as he could finally just be. No strings attached, no fear.

With you, he was simply Jeonghan, the person. Not the athlete, not the guy who appeared on television now and then. He was just another guy, with a normal job, a normal life. There are many normal ones, Jeonghan, yours may be different from mine and that's okay, you said it once.

Maybe that was the moment he realized he was in love with you. Maybe perceived isn't the right word, but it was the moment he allowed himself to feel.

"It's an inconceivable fact that you don’t have a picture of me on your phone"

You laughed at it and he wished he could be close to you. He wanted all your moments, no matter how small and bad they were, to be engraved in his mind.

"My phone has a password," you said. Your tone wasn't reproachful, you weren’t irritated. If anything, you were happy to be talking to him, that he was in your life.

"Your birthday isn't a very clever password," he said, laughing.

You wanted to ask how he knew, but the answer was pretty obvious: Seungkwan.

"Are you okay?" you asked, tone cautious. "No pain?"

You hated having to change the subject so abruptly, hated that you were the one changing the light tone of the conversation. But you had to know, you had to ask.

It was a second, nothing more than that, that turned on a warning light in your head. Jeonghan was sitting, waiting for his score announcement, when his face quickly contorted. It was there and then it wasn't. But you had seen that scene before, you knew exactly what it meant.

"Yes, I am," he said, still trying to keep his tone light.

"Jeonghan..."

He wondered when you were able to understand that he was lying. It didn't really matter. Jeonghan liked knowing that you knew him well enough to know the difference. It was the first time anyone cared enough to understand.

Jeonghan realized that by your side, he experienced many firsts.

"A little discomfort, but I told the doctor" he was quick to say, knowing exactly what was coming next "I have ice on my foot right now. I can compete tomorrow, it won't be a problem"

He wasn't lying. He felt the discomfort after his body cooled down and told the doctor. Maybe it was in the hopes of having a fair reason to give up. He had never talked about being in pain so quickly.

"I'm not confident" he admitted "It's like I was 12 again, in my first competition. I think I was more confident before, to be honest"

He lay down on the bed, staring at the hotel ceiling. It was a simple beige ceiling, hideous, but somehow, it gave him some peace of mind.

“You did really well in your first competition,” you said, hoping that would somehow help him.

Jeonghan just hummed in response but stayed quiet. He had too much on his mind, you knew. It was the shadow of a possible new injury, the idea of not being well enough to perform the movements easily, and the fact of not being confident. Everything had turned into a big snowball and he no longer knew what to do with all these problems that seemed unsolvable.

"Do you remember that day, when you were training and everyone was around? Even Jihoon showed up to watch, which was quite strange by the way" Jeonghan said yes, quietly, which was enough for you to continue " You weren't confident that day either and asked everyone to leave"

"Except you," he said.

"Yes, except me" you smiled, the memory still fresh in your mind, as if it had happened the day before, and not months before "We were there for another half an hour and you didn't make a single mistake after getting it right. I know it's harder now, that you can't kick all those people out of there, but you can imagine that it's just the two of us again. I told you before and I can tell you as many times as you need to hear, I'm rooting for you unconditionally"

Jeonghan sighed, his body finally relaxing completely.

"You could be more eloquent in your cheering," he said, his tone mocking.

"If I'm too eloquent, we won’t use Vernon’s videos," you said laughing.

Your laugh, Jeonghan decided, was the eighth wonder of the world. It was his choice and the only right one among all the possibilities.

"You could at least smile"

"That I can do"

You sat in the same place as the day before, the only difference was that Seungkwan was on the left and Vernon was on the right. But you were in exactly the same place as you promised Jeonghan you would. Not that you exactly had much of a choice, it was assigned seats, but at least you were lucky to have the same ones.

Also like the previous day, Jeonghan was the last to compete. You watched them all carefully, trying your best to spot mistakes, but you could only see the obvious ones. When, for example, the athlete who was in second, taking into account only the short program scores, fell. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't contain your squeak of joy. Both Seungkwan and Vernon laughed, but you knew they shared the feeling.

Everyone wanted Jeonghan to do well, of course.

Exactly like before, the world seemed to stop when Jeonghan entered. And this time he knew exactly where to look, where you were in the crowd. When he smiled and you smiled back, he felt like he had made the right decision at some point. Because, somehow, you were there and everything seemed like it would work out.

And even if everything went wrong, Jeonghan felt like he would be okay too.

You wanted to scream with the rest of the audience when Jeonghan took the podium in second place. You knew it wasn't what he wanted, but you also knew I wanted it more than he expected. But, as you had told him on the phone, if I were more eloquent, all the footage would be lost.

You excused yourself from Seungkwan and walked to the other side, where it was empty. When the silver medal was finally placed around your neck, you clapped and screamed like the other girls next to you. Jeonghan's free program was perfect, the deductions made by the judges, according to Seungkwan, made no sense at all - but you were sure it was the fan version of him speaking than anything else.

If it weren't for the lowest score from the previous day, Jeonghan would have been on the podium in first place. However, when he finished his presentation, he seemed to care little whether he had gotten a good score or the position he would get. He seemed satisfied with his performance. His smile as he bowed to the audience was genuine and joyful.

"Will you allow me to be honest?" Joshua said beside you.

You brought a hand to your heart, your body moving involuntarily away from him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

You smiled and shook your head. There were a few times that your and Joshua's paths crossed. He was Jeonghan's childhood friend and would occasionally appear. You were so focused on Jeonghan and on his performance that you hadn't noticed that you hadn't seen Joshua on either day of the competition.

“Of course,” you said clearing your throat.

Joshua stuck his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes still focused on Jeonghan who was walking down the podium and returning to the locker room. He looked at the medal, a small smile on his face, almost completely covered by his long hair.

"I thought you would be a problem, but I'm glad I was wrong"

When Jeonghan was out of sight, you finally turned to Joshua. He seemed to apologize with his eyes.

“A problem,” you repeated, to make sure you weren’t hearing things.

He scratched his head and smiled.

"Yes, a problem. You have become a central point for Jeonghan in recent times, I thought you could be dangerous to reach the goal of the Olympics. But looking at him now, I think you were never a problem, but rather the solution"

It was impossible to contain your smile for the rest of the night. Everyone left together after the press conference, which for once was not a fiasco.

You and Jeonghan never told anyone else that you were together. You want to know for sure what it was. But when everyone arrived at the restaurant, the two of you, Seungkwan, Vernon, Joshua, and the coach, everyone just seemed to move in a way to let you and Jeonghan sit next to each other.

Every time he placed his hand on your leg, a new wave of heat spread throughout your body. You were sure that Jeoghan knew what he was knowing, that he knew the effect it had. When you looked at him, he was looking at you smiling. He looked like a naughty child, who knew he was up to no good and was just waiting for someone to show up and tell him off.

The coach seemed uncomfortable, and now and then he cleared his throat. He only knew the rumors about Jeonghan, he had never seen him with a woman before. Joshua acted as if it were just another day, something he was already used to. Seungkwan and Vernon exchanged looks and laughed, you were sure you would have to deal with them later. The teasing would be tireless and at this point, it would be impossible to stop rumors from spreading around the office.

The thought that others might know what was going on between you and Jeonghan didn't scare you, at least not the way you thought it would. You were afraid that people would think you were less professional because of this, and that you might lose credibility. But none of that seemed to matter.

For the first time in a long time, you were happy. You didn't care if they knew because, at the end of the day, it was nobody's business.

You had made a name for yourself and it had nothing to do with your personal life.

And Jeonghan... he made you feel things you had never felt before. Your other boyfriends, as much as you liked them, didn't compare. The feeling you had for them seemed insignificant in comparison.

You wanted, as absurd as it might seem, to take care of Jeonghan. Not that he needed it, you knew he could manage just fine on his own. You wanted to be someone he could share his problems with, someone he could count on. You wanted to be someone who could be a safe haven, someone he didn't need to hide from.

And you thought, to a certain extent, you had become that person.

And without realizing it, even if unintentionally, Jeonghan had become that person for you too. When you had nightmares you wanted to call him, to be comforted by his sweet voice. You liked it when he held your hand, just because he liked it. You liked that he sent texts at random moments that made you smile and that left everyone around you wondering what had happened.

You had never believed that I could fall in love, not like that. The mere thought of liking someone like that seemed impossible, at least to you. You still had memories of your mother crying, right after your father left. You had promised yourself that you would never let anyone approach you like that. But Jeonghan showed up and it was as if the thought had never crossed your mind.

After the initial shock of meeting Jeonghan, it was easy to understand why people fell in love with him.

Even at that moment, when he wasn't doing anything much, just talking to Joshua and Seungkwan, the infamous butterflies didn't seem to leave you.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked suddenly.

Everyone had already eaten and some were waiting for dessert. It felt wrong to get up.

"Are you tired?"

As if on cue, Jeonghan closed his eyes and yawned, making everyone laugh, even the coach. He grabbed your hand and pulled you lightly, his head slightly tilted towards the restaurant door.

"We're going now," he said as he took your hand and in his and guided you out of the restaurant.

The thing about Jeonghan is that you never wanted to let him go. Once he was around you never wanted him to leave. So when he offered to take you to your room and said yes when you invested him in, you almost giggled like a teenager. 

Is that how people felt when they liked someone? You knew the feeling of liking someone, yes, but it was different. A new feeling that was both exciting and scary. Your brain was partially inclined to run away and partly desperate to just stay. 

When liking someone you always think back to your mother and how she never really recovered after your father left. Of course, she smiled and had many happy moments over the years but there was this distinct glow in her eyes that simply vanished the second he left. 

You had always promised yourself that you would never give someone that much power over you and while you knew that you weren’t quite there yet with Jeonghan, you knew that there was a high chance of becoming something so great one day you’d have no control over. 

Without much thought, you took his hand on your and kissed his knuckles. 

"What 's that for?"

You shook your head, still keeping his hand close to your face, sighing when he cupped your cheeks.

"Nothing, I'm just really proud of you. You did so well today"

Jeonghan laughed, his eyes going top your eyes then to your lips then back to your eyes again. 

"I didn't win" he felt the need to remind you.

You turned your face to the side and planted a kiss on the palm of his hand.  

"It was your first time back, you did fantastically"

"Thank you for being there," he said, voice suddenly serious "It really meant a lot to me"

You stood on your tip toes and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.” 

Jeonghan wasn’t ready to let you go, not when he finally had you in his arms again, without anyone around. He pulled you closer to his body, his left hand at the base of your neck. He kissed your cheek, first the left one, then the right one, the tip of our nose until he finally reached your lips. 

At first, the kiss was sweet, tentative, kind even. The tip of his tongue touched your bottom lip. Suddenly it was like all hell had broken loose. It was him and you but everywhere. He ran his hand down your neck, to your back until he reached the hem of your shirt. Goosebumps erupted when you felt his skin over yours. 

His touch was so small, so insignificant, but it had such a great effect on you. You were out of breath partially from the kiss and partially from his touch. It was too little but also too much.

You pulled back from him and the look in his eyes was almost enough to bring you to your knees. You had never really seen the whole “his eyes darkened” thing but in that moment there was no better way to describe him. Jeonghan had a look in his eyes that you had never seen before, different from anything you had witnessed.

It took your breath away.

“I’m gonna” you pointed at the bathroom and quickly left him all alone in the room. 

You needed a moment, hell not even you knew why you needed a moment. Your heart felt like it was about to combust with how quickly it was beating. You just needed to gather yourself, and maybe calm down a little bit before you went back into the room. 

You twisted the faucet over the bathtub. A shower would have been faster, yes, but a little too fast. You didn’t wait for it to completely fill up to get in. You pulled your clothes off swiftly, leaving them on the floor beside the tub, before getting in.

Your mind was racing. Maybe a good way to describe it would be to say that there was a puppy with too much energy running from side to side in your head. 

Five minutes went by before you heard the door opening and Jeonghan walked him. To his merit, his eyes stayed on your face the entire time until he sat down by your side. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, shin resting on the edge of the tub. 

That was such a good question because you had no idea if there was something wrong. There isn’t, a voice said inside your mind. There was no reason for you to have run off like that. 

“I’m not used to this,” you said as you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers in his. His hand was so warm against your cold one “For a second it was too much”

“Did I…?” 

You started to shake your head before he could get another word out. 

“No, no, no” you sat down on the tub and moved as close to him as possible, spilling some water out in the process but Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind “I like you, really like you”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“In my world? Yes”

In your world, Jeonghan had managed to gather, all emotions made you want to run away. It was easier for you to deal with the bad, the sad, the hateful. The good part of it was hard because you had no real starting point for it. 

“Let me show you my world, then”

He didn’t really wait for your answer and he leaned over the edge and captured your lips in his. His touch was tender as he crawled your face, leaving a trail of kisses from your lips, down your neck, till your collarbone. He smiled against your skin when he hit a sensitive spot that made you go a little breathless as a small moan left your lips. 

Jeonghan ran the tip of his index finger across the valley of your breasts before cupping one of them in his hand. His thumb running over your hard nipples. Your moan was swallowed by his lips. 

Your entire body became hot under his touch. Melting, falling apart and he had barely even touched you at all. It was too much but not at all enough. 

Jeonghan kept exploring your body with his hand, running it down your stomach. Ever so slowly he moved his hand further down. 

A gasp left your lips when his finger found your clit, drawing small, slow, circles. You leaned forward, your forehead pressed on the crook of his neck. His skin was warm, hot even. You turned your head to the side slightly until your lips came in contact with the skin of his neck. You pressed small kisses on him, sucking his skin at the same time he applied more pressure against you. 

Jeonghan pulled back for a second, his focus solely on you, on your hooded eyes, the way your cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink, how your lips were slightly parted, the way his name came out of your lips in the sweetest moan when his finger slipped over your folds, teasing your hole. 

He was so completely enamored by you, in ways he never thought to be possible. In his past relationships, he had always been careful. He didn’t want to get caught but also didn’t want to fall too much. His life only had one direction, one goal. When he was by your side he just wanted to slow down a little and enjoy every single second he could with you. 

Jeonghan wanted you to feel the same, this new sense of freedom that only came with these feelings, this desire to know every corner of someone’s soul. 

Your grip on Jeonghan’s arms thighed, your eyes watering as you let your head fall back. He pushed two fingers into you, slowly until he was knuckles deep. He sucked in a breath when your walls squeezed around his fingers, pulling him deeper as he curled his fingers and then slightly opened them. He rubbed the heel of his hand over your clit as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out.

He was hard inside his pants, the zipper of his jeans making minimal pressure, not anywhere close to what he needed but he was happy with what he got, with the day he saw you let all of your walls down around him. 

Jeonghan leaned forward a little, taking your lips into his, his tongue exploring your mouth as he moved his fingers faster, his thumb rubbing on your clit just as fast. 

“Jeonghan…” you cried his name, again and again as your breathing got shallow. 

You held his face in your hands, your thumb over his bottom lips, your eyes never leaving his as you became undone in front of him. Your legs quivering, your body arching until your chest was pressed against him, your loud moans filling the bathroom alongside the sounds of his fingers moving in and out of you at a relentless pace. 

“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop” you asked

He had no intention of doing so, not until your body stopped shaking until you rode the last of your orgasm.

It was the most beautiful sight in the world. The seven wonders? Nothing compared to you.

Breathing heavily you leaned over Jeonghan, small spasms still making your body shake. You had boyfriends before, fucked all of them, some of them weren’t even your boyfriend and it had never felt like that, earth-shattering, live altering. You kissed him tenderly. 

God, you  were in love with the man.

You never thought of what it would be like to wake up in someone’s arms. It was never something you thought about too often when you had a boyfriend and it wasn’t something you craved. Being on your own, was something you were used to, whether it was on life or in your bed. Waking up to Jeonghan was something entirely new experience and one that you could never say that you didn’t like. 

His body was turned to yours, and his hand possessively held your thigh. Most of his face was covered by his hair and this time around you didn’t shy away from pushing it away from his face.

“This is not creepy at all,” Jeonghan said, his eyes still closed. 

You were startled for a second, your body involuntarily moving away from him and then settling back into him. This time your fingers weren't feather-like. You allowed yourself to fully touch him, to enjoy the feeling of his skin against yours.

“I can leave, if you want” 

You slightly rose from the bed, but it was far enough for Jeonghan. He tugged at your waist and pulled back on the bed and got on top of you.

“You’re not going anywhere”

Jeonghan pressed his lips over yours and you felt your body melt under him. Was there ever a better place in the world to be? You weren’t too sure if there was, but if such place even existed you didn’t want to know. 

“Tell me a secret,” he asked.

It was almost noon and you were still in bed with Jeonghan. He had asked for room service a couple of hours before and after eating both of you got back in bed, cuddling like two teenagers in love. 

“I used to have a crush on Jihoon,” you said with a laugh. 

There was a moment of silence, Jeonghan's body growing stiff by your side. That wasn't your intention at all, you wanted to bring a laugh out of him, and not make him uncomfortable. 

“I don't think that's something you say while in bed with a guy, naked” 

You laughed giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“You said to tell you a secret, that’s the only one I have left to give you,” you said pushing a strand of hair away from his forehead, smiling at him “When I met him, I didn’t know that he was going to be my boss, in fact I thought that he was regular employee like me. A couple of weeks later I found that that not only he was my boss but that he also had a long-term girlfriend, who is now engaged to”

Instead of focusing only on the crush part, which was one Jeonghan had no real desire to know about, he turned all of his attention to the first part of what you said, that you had no other secret to tell. 

Though he thought of it as impossible, as everyone has secrets, he knew that you were somehow telling him the truth.

“And now?” 

He propped his chin on your shoulder, his eyes shining as he waited for an answer. 

You found that running your hand through his hair and playing with it was a new hobby and one that both of you seemed to enjoy. Jeonghan had fallen asleep twice while your hand was on his head.

“Now he's just a boss who's made me take a project I didn't want” you ran your finger over his nose and booped the tip “But now I’m really glad I did. Maybe the best decision forced on me in years?”

You couldn’t help but laugh when Jeonghan placed several loud kisses all over your face.

“Your turn” 

You lightly pushed him away, just enough to see his face again. 

“I’m constantly terrified,” he said after a few minutes in silence “I keep seeing myself falling on the ice, like it happened last night. When I close my eyes, that’s the only thing I see”

It was something hard to admit, even to himself. Failing was like a shadow that daily dark cloud following him wherever he went. His mind and dreams were filled with images of him doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do, of what he was expected to do. 

Though he had been practicing hard, to exhaustion even, and did his best to put a great face, telling everyone just how confident he was, the truth was that Jeonghan wasn’t confident at all in himself. The chances of him making it were very low and though he did manage to get a good score and placed high on the podium, he wasn’t sure it would be enough to get him to the Olympics, much less to win it. 

“I’m not a sports person, right?” Jeonghan nodded enthusiastically and pushed him, making him laugh “But I think sometimes falling is inevitable. You know something I believe in? You”

Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile at the words. He felt as if the hand squeezing his heart had let go of him. He felt light.

“If there’s someone in this world that can go through all of this, injuries, surgeries, rehab and still get to compete on the same level as before. Maybe even better. I believe in you. I hope you can too”

Months Later

Jeonghan hissed as he slowly pulled the sock off. The usually cream skin was turning an ugly dark shade of purple, his ankle already twice as big as was supposed to be. He wanted to scream out in frustration. 

Of course, he had to get hurt again, of course, it had to be on the day before he was set to compete. 

It was like whoever was writing the script of his life enjoyed putting him through pain. Jeonghan finally felt as if his life was falling into place. He was feeling healthy, he felt as if every time he got on the ice he was getting better, improving his performance every single time. And then there was you, who came into his life seemingly like a storm and turned his world upside down in ways he wasn’t aware he needed. 

He had never felt more at ease, comfortable, than when he was with you. It had been a very long time since there was any need to shoot at his place but he always found himself calling you, or going to you. On days when you had to work late, you’d still come over and crawl into his bed, attaching yourself to him as if it was where you were supposed to be all along. You’d place a kiss on his spine and drift off to sleep without a word. Then, if there was no early schedule or practice, the two of you would just take turns cooking and talking about everything and nothing at all.

When he was with you, Jeonghan knew he had found the balance he had always looked for. It wasn’t the loud and reckless kind of relationship like the one he had before. With you Jeonghan felt at peace, home in many different ways. He liked to think that you felt the same way about him too.

Maybe he was being too greedy in wanting the creer, the legacy, as well as the love life but there was no way he was willing to let either one go, even if it meant that his blood would be covering the ice at the end of his performance. 

“How are you” the door to his shared room was suddenly flung open and Joshua walked in “feeling…?”

His friend's voice got lower as his eyes moved from Jeonghan’s face to his ankle, then back to his face again. Joshua moved without saying a word. He opened the mini bar and pulled whichever can was colder. 

“Does Bumzu know about this?”

It was weird to hear his coach’s name and he wasn’t too sure why. He said the name countless times since he was a teenager, he even said it earlier that day, but you had never said it. You’d always refer to him as just coach, even while directly talking to him. You never said his name and the man didn’t seem to mind it either. 

Jeonghan looked back at his foot and then at his ankle. He had no idea how it had gotten that bad. He felt a little pain after the eighteen-hour flight so as soon as he settled down in his room he put some ice on it, which had seemingly done the trick. It looked fine. No purple bruise, no swelling. His ankle looked fine and felt fine, so he left to attend the open ceremony and then headed to practice for the next two days. He felt nothing. He was fine. 

Until he, clearly, wasn’t.

“Does she know?”

Joshua pulled his leg up on the bed and put his feet up on two pillows. Jeonghan hissed again when he felt the ice against his skin and let his body fall back on the mattress.

“No, and she can’t know” he covered his eyes with his arm, sighing “I’ll tell Bumzu tomorrow”

“Don’t you think this should go into the documentary?” Joshua asked as he rolled the can from his ankle to the arch of his foot rhythmically “Don’t you think your girlfriend should know about this?”

Jeonghan played with the word on his tongue for a second. Girlfriend. Neither of you had ever labeled the relationship, too focused on the moment, on enjoying what you had and charging forward together. A label didn’t seem all too important. It was the kind of relationship that was always evolving but somehow staying the same. 

“If she finds out, she’ll ask me to stop” he paused finally looking at his friend “And if she does, I will”

He couldn’t help but think about your face. The way you smiled while holding his hands in yours sitting on his couch, just a few minutes before the two of you had to leave for the airport. Your eyes shone as you told him how much you believed in him, that you knew he wanted to win but it would be okay if he didn’t.

It was the kind of speech he heard many many times before in his life and he always hated it. It always seemed shallow, just empty words thrown in the wind. But when it came from you, when those words left your lips they felt genuine, he knew it wasn’t something you just said because it was what you thought he wanted to hear.

“I’ll scream the loudest this time,” you said laughing as you ran your fingertips over his eyebrows and then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Jeonghan couldn’t help you lean into your touch. “I’ll be sitting away from Seungkwan and Vernon, so there really won’t be any way for me to ruin the footage”

The words I love you slipped out of Jeonghan’s mouth with ease, as they have always been there, like he was used to saying them. It was never been easy for him, even to his mother and sister. He loved them, of course he did. He showed it to them in all ways he could think of, but he never said. At least not as an adult.

Home, he had decided. Your eyes were his home. You were. 

Jeonghan was certain that he would remember that moment forever. The way you leaned forward, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The way you whispered I love you too. How you broke into a smile when you chastely kissed him and added so much it’s insane.

“Maybe she would be right” Joshua’s voice pulled him back to reality “Maybe you should stop. What if this gets bad enough that you can’t even walk anymore? What if…”

Jeonghan sat back up again. 

“Do you remember when we were kids and I told you that I wanted a gold medal, an Olympic gold medal?” he suddenly asked.

Joshua closed his eyes and sighed. Obviously, he remembered it but he wished Jeonghan didn’t. Most of all, he wished Jeonghan wouldn’t use a promise he made almost twenty years before. 

“Shua” Jeonghan pressed, his tone almost desperate. He felt bad, of course, but it was the only thing he had to stop Joshua. His last weapon to use. 

“I promised I would help in any way possible since we all knew I wasn’t that great of a skater”

It was a stupid promise, made by stupid boys but even as adults they both stuck to it, like it was some sort of pact.

“The best way to help is to keep it a secret for the next 3 days”

The thing about competitions is that they are exhausting but not just for the people actively competing but for those working on the sidelines as well. you had been following Jeonghan for months now, to all sorts of competitions, rehab, and just his life in general. 

In almost all of them he managed to make it to the podium and each time he looked brighter, and happier with his performance and the outcome. Though everything seemed to be going just fine, there was this itch in the back of your mind, telling you that there was something wrong with him. 

Jeonghan seemed to be taking good care of his body and he was periodically going to the doctor. You weren’t too sure if that was a good thing. On one hand, it was good because it meant that he was in constant care for a serious injury. But it could also mean that he was in pain and that itch on your brain was right. 

Whatever it was, Jeonghan wasn’t willing to share. He kept saying that he was fine and you were trying to believe him, you really were. But there was something in his eyes, in the way his body moved a little more stiff than usual. He had not looked at your direction once - which was something unusual.

The rational part of your brain said that it was just stress, crazy high amounts of it tugging at all of his nerves and muscles. It was his last chance so it was natural. He was an athlete focused on the competition ahead, of course, he would be a little different from what you were used to seeing. 

However, the irrational and insecure part of your brain told you that regretted saying that he loved you and didn’t know how to take it back. That didn’t make any sense at all. Jeonghan wasn’t the kind of person who just said things to please the people around him. He would rather keep quiet than say something he didn’t mean. You knew that. You knew him. If he said it, then he meant it. 

So why was he…

“Is he hurt again?” a familiar voice asked to your right. 

You had completely forgotten that Jihoon would attend as part of the documentary crew. He had mentioned it the last time you spoke on the phone a couple of weeks before, he also sent an e-mail the day before you left but it had completely escaped your mind.

You blinked at him, your brain not fully registering what he said. 

“What?” you asked.

Jihoon raised his eyebrows at you. He pointed at the rink where Jeonghan and the other skaters were warming up. His warm-up was different from what he usually did. He was just moving around, barely using his left foot. 

“He’s not using his foot a whole lot” Jihoon pointed out. 

He kept talking but his voice became just a distant sound as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, frantically searching for Joshua’s number. He was by the rink talking, in what you assume to be a hushed voice, with Bumzu. 

You bit your lips while the phone rang. Despair spread through your chest when Joshua pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to the coach. Both men visibly sighed. 

Tears started to well up in your eyes the moment Joshua’s tired voice greeted you.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Tell me what’s wrong with him, please” you begged.

Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around, making sure that you couldn’t see his expression. A terrible sign.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, everything is going according to plan”

“I may still be confused about some rules but my eyes work just fine, Joshua. Something is wrong, even Jihoon can see it”

You watched as he shook his head. 

“He’s just hiding his game. We prepare a new program, entirely different, he doesn’t want to show any of it or overwork himself during the warm-up”.

Alarms went off in your head and a whinny sound left your lips. You were well aware of the three pairs of eyes on you, judging the very uncharastically way, so unlike yourself, you were behaving but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

“Listen“ Joshua’s tone was stern, irritated. Not once had he sounded like that “This is a competition, the biggest one could ever take part in, as well as his last one ever. Yes, things are different this time around. I need you to understand that and not add any pressure or stress on him. Can you do that?”

He didn’t really give you a chance to reply.

“He’s here as an elite athlete and you’re here as the documentarist in charge of capturing every second of it. I highly suggest you start acting accordingly”

The line went mute. The pressure on your head, on your heart, was so big you let your body fall on the seat again. Joshua had never been quite as harsh on you, or at all. He had always been soft spoken, and polite. You doubted that even under the obvious stress of the moment he would act like that. Something was definitely wrong but he wasn’t willing to share, which meant that Jeonghan’s condition was bad. It also meant that he didn’t want you to know what was wrong, the extension of the problem.

Seungkwan was suddenly by your side, his hand on your shoulder. You pushed the single tear that rolled down away and stood up again. 

“Is everything okay?”

You just nodded and took the camera he had in his hands, adjusting the settings as an excuse to stay quiet long enough to be able to regain your ability to speak once more. You pushed the camera into Jihoon’s hand with a little more force than necessary, not really caring that he was your boss. His only reaction was to furrow his eyebrows at you one more time. 

“Make yourself useful, will you” it didn’t matter if he was there to just watch or not “Do not lose coach out of sight”

You turned your body to Seungkwan and Vernon.

“Seungkwan, you're with Joshua. Vernon and I will focus on Jeonghan” you pointed at the seats you were supposed to take, indicating that Jeonghan would have two different angles on him, Vernon simply nodded “Jeonghan’s condition is less than ideal so we need all of their reactions. Don’t miss anything, every blink is important”

Seungkwan called your name, his fingers gripping the sleeve of your shirt around your wrist. The concern was evident in his eyes. He wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if he should and you weren’t sure you could speak without breaking into tears. Whether his concern was for you or Jeonghan, you didn’t know. Perhaps a mix of both. 

“It’s our job, we should act accordingly”

Jeonghan finally let his body fall on the bed. It had been a long day and he had never felt more exhausted before in his life. But more than that, he was in pain. 

His first program had drained him. 

Every time he moved his foot it was as if a needle was being forced into his bones. Truth be told, Jeonghan wasn't even sure how he was still standing, how he still managed to walk straight without curving his body in pain. Skating was still a wonder in itself. The idea that both his mother and sister were watching from home maybe was something that helped push him forward. Maybe knowing that you were somewhere in the crowd also helped. 

He didn't dare to look for you, didn't dare to look in your direction but he could swear that he had heard you cheer every time he landed, every time he executed a new movement. Having you there and hearing your voice, even if it was a daydream of his crazy mind, had been enough to push him to the end of the program. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and reread your text for the hundredth time. He just stared at his phone for the better part of the day, like the small device held all the answers in the world. All it did though, was call you and that was something that he didn't allow himself to do. It was what he wanted the most, to hear your assuring voice, but he shouldn't. He couldn't. He was satisfied just looking at the black screen when suddenly it lit up with a notification and your name attached to it. 

"I will always be rooting for you! No matter what happens you'll always be number one" a second later another text followed "I love you"

Your message was sweet and loving. Jeonghan knew what it meant though. You didn't say anything, but it was clear that you knew something was wrong. Joshua had assured him that he didn't say anything to you but you weren't dumb.

He felt bad for keeping it a secret from you, for pushing you away, but in his mind, it was his only option. It turned out for the best that his coach and the federation didn't allow you and your team to follow him. Watching from the bleachers was all you could do. 

Even if their decision somehow benefited him, Jeonghan hated it. He hated the idea of everything that was going wrong. He hated that he was in pain, and once again, hated that the one person he wanted to comfort him was the one he was pushing away. In a way, he felt as if he was drowning and there was no one to even see that there was something off with him. 

Jeonghan heard the door opening but he didn't turn around in bed to see who it was, certain that it was only Joshua or maybe Bumzu coming in to check on him. He just turned further into his pillow, wishing for the day to be over soon. He couldn’t even think about his performance, which hadn’t been bad, to be honest. 

“So you get injured again and you decide that I shouldn’t know. That’s not very nice, Jeonghan”

He felt his heart in his mouth and he jumped on the bed, suddenly sitting on the middle of the mattress, grimacing when he felt a sharp pain up his leg.

“I wonder who you wanted to keep it a secret from, the team in charge of the documentary or me”

There you were, leaning on the door with your arms crossed over your chest, frowning at him. He could cry while looking at you and perhaps the tears were inevitable because his eyes were already burning.

“How are you here?” he managed to ask.

You gave him a sheepish smile and showed him the badge on your neck. A picture of Joshua greeted him while you took a step close to him and Sar by his side on the bed.

“I stole Joshua's badge and wore it flipped around, no one really bothered to check if it was really me”

You took Jeonghan's right hand into yours, intertwining your fingers with his. It was almost a natural movement at this point and you weren’t surprised when he leaned forward and rested his forehead on your shoulder.

Throughout the entire day you had thought about what you would do, how you'd approach him. There was no right way to do it. You had two options: scream at him and tell him to just stop, that it wasn't worth it, or you could just be there for him, offer him your support in any way you could. And while the idea of screaming was great, you knew that it wasn't going to do any good. In fact, it would probably only worsen the situation that was already bad.

“I don't know what to do,” he said, slightly turning his head towards your neck and taking a deep breath, allowing himself to be completely lost in your scent.

“How bad is it?” 

If Jeonghan wasn't willing to share it with you, decided that keeping it a secret was his only option it was probably bad but as moved away from you and pulled his pants up you enough to show the purple bruise on his ankle you realized that it was far worse than you could have imagined.

“Oh my God” you covered your mouth to stop yourself from saying anything else. 

You thought back at his program, how he executed all of it flawlessly, how he was in second place — only 0.2 behind the first place — how he had a real chance at winning despite all odds.

“It looks worse than it feels, but it doesn't feel good either”

You pushed his hair back, away from his face. His eyes were filled with unwashed tears, so desperate. Seeing him like that was like having someone squeeze your heart with all of their strength, as if trying to turn it into ashes.

“I'm so close to it and I can see it, it's right there. If I just…” he balled his hands into fists as tears finally ran down his face “I just need to do well, do what I've been practicing and I know I'll get it. But this…”

He punched his thigh, eyes closed.

You took his face into your hands, delicately making him look at you. You had no idea that your heart could break just by looking at someone, had no idea that you would feel that way for someone else in your life. It was a crazy thought, a realization that there was someone else in the world that could make you feel like that. 

When you told Jeonghan that you loved him it wasn't a lie. You didn't just threw those words around. Your heart was his and it was shattering for him.

You knew what it meant to him, all of it. Jeonghan might have made it seem as if he was just there to win and call it a day but you knew that it ran deeper than that. It was his last everything when it came down to it. His last competition, yes, but it was also his last everything. The last time he could say figure skater Yoon Jeonghan, after that he would just be retired. He hated the media a little too much to try and be one of those sports celebrities. 

“If they tape you up, give you enough painkillers, do you think you could do it?” your words were shaky as you spoke “Do you think it's possible?”

Jeonghan couldn't really believe his ears, in what you were saying to him. He was certain that you would tell him to stop, that it was okay, that he didn't have to go all the way to the end. It was a good run, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, he could almost hear your voice in his mind. 

But right there, in front of him, you stood doing the exact opposite of what he expected.

“I thought you'd tell me to stop”

You kissed his face, close to his eyes, where his tears had stained his cheeks. The first one was quick, the second lingering a little bit more.

“I probably should, but it's not what you need” you kissed his forehead, nose, and lips “You're a force to be reckoned with, Jeonghan. If there's someone in the world that can compete in these conditions it's you”

Your heart was oddly at peace with everything. Sneaking into Jeonghan's room had been reckless but necessary, for both of you.

It was scary to imagine him getting injured again. You knew how hard he worked to be able to even get on the ice at all. You knew what it meant to him, so telling him that it was okay to just try felt natural and in some ways the only right option. 

Leaving his room had been hard. All you wanted to do was stay there with him, comforting him, in silence. You just wanted to be by his side but you knew that wasn't possible so you left after kissing him.

Maybe telling him to push through was a bad call, maybe telling him to quit was what was best for him but you tried to put yourself in his shoes. Had it been you, with your last chance ever, would you stop or would just just say fuck it and go down trying?

The answer was easy: you'd do the exact same.

“So…” Seungkwan asked as the four of you walked into the gymnasium “Is he okay?”

Seungkwan was a good friend and someone who worried about Jeonghan. He had been the first one to warm up to him and talk with him. Jeonghan liked him too, calling him Seungkwannie and even inviting him for dinner on occasion. 

“Not really,” you said as you finally found your seats “But he's going to compete anyway”

“Can he even do that?” Jihoon asked, “Should he do that?”

Your shoulders rose as you sighed.

“He's doing what he thinks is the best option for him”

The conversation ended just like that. There was nothing left to say. All any of you could do was sit and wait.

Jeonghan skated into the rink. His face was serious, no emotion on display. It was a mask of a man who was focused on what he had to do. He eyes the center of the rink, unblinking. 

His costume of choice was very simple, just a plain black blouse with silver and blue details on the sleeves and around his neck. His hair was tied back and away from his face. 

Looking at him one wouldn’t be able to say that he was in pain, that his ankle was twice its normal size, so close to just giving up. No one could tell that he was shaking. It was imperceptible to those on the bleachers that his heart was beating so fast, so loudly, that he could feel it in his ears. 

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Once. Twice. Again. He thought of you, with your hands clasped together in a silent prayer, he thought of his mother and sister watching him from home. He thought about himself two and a half years before, how hard he had worked to get to that rink one last time. He thought back to his ten years old self, when he first dreamt of the Olympics.

Winning was his only option. 

Jeonghan opened his eyes as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

The entire gymnasium erupted in loud cheers while Jeonghan thanked the audience, one side, then another. He bows his head a few times, catching one of the bunny dolls thrown at the rink in mid air. His smile is beautiful and large. He became pure happiness and you know that it couldn’t be any different.

Jeonghan managed to deliver his performance in complete perfection, no obvious mistakes were made. You were certain the judges would find something to deduce points but there was no way that he wouldn’t place first.

He waved at the crowd and somehow the cheering got even louder. It’s not his home country but it felt as if everyone in there was applauding him more than all of the athletes before him. And maybe that was really the case.

Jeonghan’s injury had been disclosed to the public right before the beginning of the competition and people love the idea of someone who can overcome whatever it is that stops them, an injury, a disease.

Jeonghan whirled around one more time, hand in the air waving, when face his contorted, his beautiful smile gone and he fell to his knees.

One second.

Two seconds.

Five seconds.

He didn’t move an inch, he didn’t get put but he also didn’t do much else. It was when you started to worry that there was something wrong. Even from that far back, you saw his arms shake, his eyes shut close, and his hand balled into fists. It became painfully obvious that there was something wrong.

The cheering and applause didn’t stop or got quieter. If anything, the volume only got louder. The crowd seemed to think that he was still thanking them, that he was overwhelmed with emotions, that he was exhausted after such a perfect performance.

He did the unthinkable, he managed to finish his performance flawlessly, lading jump, after jump, after jump. And he did, on the last performance of his career, at his last Olympics.

Jeonghan hadn’t announced it yet, but that was his last everything. After that day, he would leave behind his days in figure skating and would try to search for something else to do with his life. It was the last of him, ever, and he ended it on such a high note.

After more than a year of following him, talking to him, and understanding who Jeonghan was and what his stage persona was, you knew that it was not the emotions he was feeling. Although the man could be very humble at times, he wasn’t to that extent. He wouldn’t be on his knees for a full minute.

That’s when you saw coach run to the ice, two paramedics right behind him.

You rush down the bleachers, trying to see what’s happening on the ice while trying not to fall face first. The coach talked with Jeonghan, and whatever the older man said got a reply and Jeonghan shook his head. You didn’t know what he’s saying.

I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I’m not in pain. I’m just tired.

Those are the words you wished he said, on just a collection of them

Vernon took the camera and did a run down of the crowd before turning it to Jeonghan, still on his knees. You didn’t know what to do. The two of them were right behind you, Vernon and Seungkwan, their footsteps way too loud for you to notice that the crowd had finally stopped cheering, finally noticing that the situation wasn’t as good as they first expected it to be.

Your eyes never really left Jeonghan. The only thought going through your mind at that moment was to get to him as fast as possible, to hold his hand. That simple action wouldn’t mean much, you knew that, and you would do it more for yourself than for him. But you liked to think that in such a moment, he would want you by his side.

The paramedics raised Jeonghan, his arms around their shoulders while they carried him out of the ring. One of his feet slides with ease, while he holds the other one up in a weird position, slightly tilted back.

That’s when you knew. The issue on his ankle. He took it too far with the performance and practices, landing on it time and time again.

You stopped in your tracks and turned around. You pressed your hand on the lens of Vernon’s camera pushing it until he finally lowered it.

“Stop filming, right now” it wasn’t a request, your voice wasn’t kind. It was an order, one you needed him to follow “From now on, nothing gets filmed”

Vernon looked confused, his eyes darting to Seungkwan, as if asking for help in a way.

“But it’s our job,” he said.

You shook your head.

“Our job, what we needed to film, ended the second he landed that jump. Now it’s not the time to record him”

Seungkwan understands what you’re saying, he too pressed a hand on Vernon’s camera, pushing it even further down, shaking his head and his friends looked at him worried.

You turned away from them, eyes immediately falling on Jeonghan.

For a moment you thought that they wouldn't let you through. Security had no idea of who you were. So why would they let a strange woman be anywhere near the athlete? But they did let you through. You didn’t know how, you didn't know why, but you also didn’t dare to question.

They just moved out of the way, making a path for you. You followed the coach back to the locker rooms, ignoring the fact that you shouldn’t be there, not in the male one anyway.

You finally reached Jeonghan. His face was pale, paler than usual, his lips were turning purple.

“Jeonghan” his name leaves your lips in a breath.

He reached a hand for you once the paramedics laid him down on a stretcher.

“Baby,” he said, voice barely above a whisper “I did it. Did you see it?”

You pushed his hair away from his forehead, surprised with his cold sweat.

“You did it, you were fantastic”

He smiled at you, his eyes not really focusing on you or on anything else.

“I think I broke something,” he said, voice low “I don’t know, it just hurts. A lot”

You looked at his coach, the man didn’t know either, but his eyes were focused on Jeonghan's ankle. Your eyes move to the paramedic, who as carefully as possible trying to remove his skates.

The doctor that accompanied Jeonghan since the surgery finally approached him. The man too looked as white as a candle.

Jeonghan had finally taken it too far. 

“You cut your hair, '' you said, as you tucked your legs under your thighs, sitting comfortably on the fluff carpet in Jeonghan’s living room. 

Seungkwan stood behind you and by his side was Vernon. It was the place where it all started, so it seemed fitting that it also ended there. 

Jeonghan nodded, running his hand through the loose strands. You drummed your fingers over your thighs, thinking about how just a couple of hours before you were playing with his hair while he had his head on your belly because your stomach is being noisy and I want to sleep when you told him he could move, he just hugged your waist tighter rubbing his face on your skin nope.

“I thought it would be a good change” he pouted a little, unconsciously “I still need to get used to it.”

Why did you think it would be a good change?”

He narrowed his eyes for a second. He had that conversation with you before. For a moment he forgot that the version of you he talked with was his girlfriend, not the documentarist sitting in front of him. 

“I started to grow my hair after the whole incident with the press” he made a dismissive gesture with his hand “I think I sort of wanted to hide from them and the hair helped a lot. In a way, I think a new haircut symbolizes a new start? You know, now that I’m no longer an athlete”

You nodded, smiling at him. It always took his breath away, your smile. He loved the way you had been constantly smiling around him, the frown that seemed to have a permanent stay between your eyebrows when you first met was nowhere in sight.

“How does it feel, being retired?”

“If you asked me that four years ago, I’d say that it sounded like my words nightmare. But now after so many injuries and surgeries, it felt like the timing was right. If you think about it, the way it ended for me was pretty epic”

Jeonghan matched your smile as the memories started to flood his mind. The way he almost blacked out due to the pain in his ankle, the way the crowd screamed so loudly and he refused to believe that it was because of him, at least not until Bumzu came back to his side, his eyes red with unshed tears.

“You fucking idiot of a human, you did it”

You had kissed his temple multiple times, telling him how brave he was, how strong he was. "Most people would have walked away before even getting on the rink” you had said later that night after all of you had finally gotten back from the hospital. Jeonghan was prohibited from using his foot and needed to have surgery once again after the worst part of the swelling subsided. 

He remembers refusing to be taken away to get his ankle checked until he saw with his own eyes that he had won. He was carried out by Bumzu and Joshua despite the doctor’s cries that he should be taken to the hospital. You followed the three of them close behind. 

Jeonghan smiled at the screen hanging from the roof. His name stood at the top of the list, in big letters, the number one attached to it. 

As he stood on the podium, gold medal around his neck, Jeonghan saw you clamming and screaming, a huge smile on your face as tears ran down your cheeks. He had finally gotten his wish, to see you being as eloquent as possible, cheering for him. 

“Most people would agree with you”

“I feel bad about making my family worry though. But they understand, I think”

His sister has screamed at him over the phone, angry that he asked them not to go watch him — mostly because he was scared to have them there while he failed — that he never told them about his injuries. But also happy for him. Truthfully he didn’t understand some of what she said, talking while crying was not her forte. 

You looked back at Seungkwan over your shoulder and both of you nodded. Jeonghan watched as you closed the small notebook in your hands and put it aside. 

“This is the last question of this documentary, so make your answer a good one, okay?” you said teasingly “Now that you can’t skate again, what are your plans for the future?”

Saying that Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to skate again was maybe a little exaggeration. Sure, there was no way he’d ever be able to compete again — nor did he wanted to —, but maybe after he was all healed he could do it again just for fun. That wasn’t something he was going to say directly at you. You had gotten worried after his new injury that even conversations about past competitions made you shiver, it had gotten so bad that you had nightmares about him getting hurt again and in those his end was never quite as good or epic as the one he actually got. So Jeonghan thought that it was for the best to not talk about it, at least for the time being while he still hadn’t been cleared by his doctor.

“With my career?” he bit his lip, truly thinking about it “For now, nothing. I’ve been competing for almost twenty years, in the rink for about 22 years, I think I deserve to stop and just not do anything for a while. In my personal life, I want to spend some time with my family, which is something that I always skipped because practice was just more important. I haven’t spent a birthday with them in years”

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes on you. 

“I have a girlfriend, right. And she had this little notebook, I think she might be a little obsessed with notebooks and pens, and everything stationary related” he whispered the last part making you roll your eyes “She writes in those places she wants to go to. So, if I can convince her to take a few vacation days, I want to take her to those places”

“You suck,” you said.

“You didn’t seem to…”

Seungkwan took a step forward and blocked the view of the camera, his eyes wide.

“Okay, that’s a wrap everyone! Thank you!”

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[itaipava]

— mundane little moments of love with f1 boys.

˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS

it’s one of those late-night phone calls; one minute you’re laughing about god-knows-what and the next, humour has simmered down, replaced by a moment of silence — and there is warmth and comfort in the quietness, but also an unmistakeable sense of longing. as you just close your eyes and listen to each other’s breathing, you start to wonder if he has fallen asleep, but he breaks the silence with a ’wish you were here’ and you heart clenches a little as you whisper back a ’me too.’

˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO

it’s one of those moments when you’re sharing a bathroom space. it’s the playful little ’don’t peek’ as one pees while the other shaves. it’s the lingering hand touches when he’s passing you the towel. it’s him being a little shit and splashing water at you while you wash your face. and it’s the way your eyes meet in the mirror while you’re brushing your teeth together and you both smile — it’s just a small stretch of lips at first until you’re both grinning uncontrollably because right now, everything just feels right.

˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ

it’s when you lay your head in his lap while you guys watch something on tv. you don’t realize it, but the way he looks passionately at you says a lot about how much his heart is racing right now. he gently strokes your hair and you close your eyes, delighting in the sensation. and he can’t help but leave a kiss to your temple, a smile creeping across his lips when he sees you smiling. and then he realizes that, at this moment, you are safe and he is at peace.

˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC

it’s one of those hugs. the kind that starts off almost casual yet goes on longer than it’s supposed to, simply because neither refuses to let go. it feels warm, familiar, and safe in each other’s arms. at one point, he snuggles in closer, burying his face against the crook of your neck, you can feel his breath and his little smile on your skin. he comments on how much he loves your smell and you snicker before asking him to describe it, and he takes a moment before answering, ’just smells like…you. like home.’

˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON

it’s one of those unexpected deep conversations at unlikely places, like the grocery store. it’s just that almost sacred connection you get when you’re telling someone your thoughts and ideas, and you worry that you sound scattered and might not make sense and you’re ready to brush it off with a nevermind and an awkward little chuckle but you don’t need to because he gets it. and as you continue the conversation while you put the cereal box into the cart, you feel a fresh surge of love for him.

˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI

it’s when he’s out of town for work and you send him silly selfies of yourself with sweet, encouraging messages attached. his friends notice him staring at his phone screen for too long with a lingering smile on his face and a certain look of fondness in his eyes. they crane their necks to take a glance at what their friend is looking at and see that it’s the selfie you sent. immediately, they tease him about how smitten he is. and oscar tries to hide the flustered blush on his face by looking annoyed. “oh shut up,” he mutters while proceeding to set your photo as his home screen. 

˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN

it’s one of those moments on the couch or bed, watching netflix together. it’s endless hours of browsing through the catalogue of movies and shows only to end up playing the same one you’ve watched for the hundreth time. it’s the looks you share when the characters are saying questionable things, and the simultaneous outbursts you have when the people in the screen are being frustrating, and having to pause to have a debate about whatever is going on in the show. it’s just nice. it’s nice to have someone who willingly sits through every disney movie and every boring movie that ends up being good because each other’s presence (and jokes) are all you need.

#f1 imagine #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri x you #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader

[suashii]

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ 𝒮𝒜𝐹𝐸𝒯𝒴 𝒩𝐸𝒯

info ⭑ suna rintaro x reader. 1.3k wc. sfw ﾉ fluff ﾉ spider-man!suna 

note ⭑ i cannot stop thinking about spider!suna !! possibly expect a few more drabbles in this au :3 

you’re toeing the line between wakefulness and slumber; about to slip into dreamland but lucid enough to hear the tick… tick… tick… of the alarm clock situated on your beside table. the rhythmic sound begins to grow distant the deeper into the sleep you fall.

and before you actually drift off, you’re jolted awake by a noisy bang! at your window. the sound rips a startled scream from your throat as you scramble to sit up. the comforter bunched up in your fists is held up to your face to shield you from whatever just slammed into your window. you peer over the top of your flimsy safeguard, hoping that the source of the jarring noise is long gone.

unfortunately for you, it isn’t. although, there’s no reason for you to be so nervous anymore.

you recognize the glimpse of black and white haphazardly swinging at the corner of your window. rubbing your tired eyes with a sigh, you toss your blanket aside and leave the warm comfort of your bed to approach the glass. 

you’re met with a groan of pain and some muffled swears when you reach your destination. your lips wobble, threatening to break out into a grin upon hearing the familiar voice.

the clicks of your window unlocking sound throughout the quiet of your room before you lift up the pane. a chilly draft enters the space and goosebumps raise on your arms almost immediately. you ignore the unpleasant sensation in favor of greeting your clumsy, untimely visitor. “did you seriously just swing straight into my window?”

regaining his balance, suna perches himself on the concrete lip of your window. with one hand by his feet to keep steady, he uses the other to snatch the black mask off his head. strands of dark hair stick up in different directions and it takes a moment for his grayish-yellow eyes to adjust to his normal vision outside the mask. when it finally does, he’s met your face, the corner of your lips twitching with a smile. somehow it makes him feel less embarrassed—but only a little. “i meant to land on the ledge but i came in too fast.”

“if you’re all this city has to rely on as a hero, we’re doomed.” you only mean it as a joke, you know that and so does suna, but he still feigns hurt at your comment, poking out his lip in a pout. he’s mastered the kicked puppy expression but you only offer him a sickeningly sweet smile in response. you jerk your thumb behind you as you take a few steps back to allow him some space. “come in, you’re making my room cold.”

he does as you say, climbing into your window much more gracefully than he had arrived. he closes it behind him as you scurry back to the warmth of your bed. you’re busy getting comfortable under your blanket when suna plops down beside you. you’d chastise him for lying on your bedding in his suit that’s been who knows where, but there’s something more pressing at the forefront of your mind.  “what brings you here so late? you’re not hurt or anything, are you?”

“would you kiss it better if i was?” he asks, his eyes flitting over to meet yours. his tone is entirely serious but it’s accompanied by a grin that tells you he’s trying to get a reaction out of you.

you’re tempted to shut him down, just so he isn’t allowed the satisfaction he’s so desperately seeking, but the more you consider his question, the more you think about his circumstances.

this role of superhero, protector, defender, was thrust on him without his say—against his will. the once normal college student who played volleyball and video games in his free time now risks his life every day so the people around him stay safe. he downplays the danger he faces and you try not to show that you worry for him but you do.

you don’t know what you’d do with yourself if he ended up hurt.

so, even if he came to you with some minor injury like a bruised cheek or a split lip or a sprained ankle, you’d do anything in your power to make him feel better—even if that remedy was a kiss.

rolling onto your side so you’re facing him, you prop your chin in the palm of your hand. suna’s gaze is still glued to you and you challenge it with a stare of your own. “you know what? i would.”

the curl of the corners of his lips falls upon hearing your unforeseen reply. a weird feeling overcomes him, too. he can feel his heart rate pick up and can hear the ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump of the organ in his ears. the closest he’s felt to this sensation before is when he’s soaring through the air evading villains and crooks. but those are real threats and you’re the farthest thing from it. you’re his safety net, there to catch him whenever he feels himself falling.

why is he falling now?

he blinks and clears his throat. “what?”

“i said i would kiss it better if you were hurt.” you proudly tell him, sporting the smile of someone who beat the master at their own game. it isn’t often you render suna speechless and a sense of satisfaction washes over you knowing that you were able to do so by simply saying something you meant.

it’s difficult to see him in the dark of your room but you do pick up on the way his fingers nervously tap at his stomach and how he’s mindlessly chewing on the inside of his cheek. he isn’t looking at you anymore, either. you wonder what’s going on in his head, what thoughts are swimming in his skull. outside of his joking, he tends to keep a lot to himself.

you suspect he’s doing that much now. between his uncharacteristic silence and the fact that he never told you why he dropped in, you think it might be something he isn’t quite ready to share yet. it’s not something you’ll ever hold against him and if you’re the comfort he seeks after a long day, you don’t want to ruin that by pushing him. so, instead of waiting for suna to speak up, you ask, “wanna stay the night?”

he turns his head to face you. “can i?”

“mhm,” you hum, nodding your head. “you left a bag here last time, there might be something you can wear to sleep in it.”

you point to the bag propped up in the corner of your room. his gaze follows your finger and lands on the drawstring pouch he’s been looking for since last week. he internally chuckles at himself—he should have known he could find it here, where else would it be?

suna pulls himself up from his reclined position to make his way across the room. though, partway through the process, a sharp pain shoots up his side. his hand shoots out to hold his aching ribs as he bites back a groan of complaint.

you quickly sit up with him. there’s concern painted all over your face. “what’s wrong?”

“nothing, it’s where i—” he stops in the middle of his explanation, remembering the humiliation that blanketed him earlier.

“hit the window?” you finish his sentence with a quiet laugh that you fail to hold back.

he nods in confirmation, dragging the palms of his hands over his face in a show of bashfulness. it’s cute and so unlike suna. you can’t help but want to tease him just a little more.

“aw, don’t be embarrassed. want me to kiss it better?”

hiya, it's manon! thank you for giving this a read! if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging and/or leaving a comment! much love from me to you ❤︎

#₊˚ପ⊹ signed: haikyuu #suna x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #suna x you #haikyuu x you #suna drabble #haikyuu drabbles #suna fluff #haikyuu fluff #suna imagines #haikyuu imagines #suna scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

[devildomwriter]

Can i get some headcanons on the angels being guardians of MC? 👀 In the manga, a pact with a demon requires them touching foreheads to make it, and they have to listen to their master's orders. What can the guardian and the charge do? Call for the other for help? Know when the other is in trouble or just need a hand? -Water Anon

Guardian Angel Headcanons

• An Angel canonically can only be the guardian to one human. It’s not specified if it’s one at a time or not and if they’d be able to guard someone again when the previous charge has passed.

• They get chills when their charge is in serious danger, they can hear their pleas for help, and stronger angels can answer telepathically if they only need an answer to a question or reassuring words.

• They can dispel viruses and curses more easily than if they weren’t your guardian, and can heal virtually anything with ease, be it mental or physical, whatever you ask for.

• They will immediately put their lives on the line for you and will not allow harm to come to you while you are their charge.

• If they for some reason cannot reach your side when you are in danger or in pain, you will receive some of their energy to keep you safe.

Simeon

• Simeon’s style of guarding is very relaxed. He believes it’s better you find things out for yourself and will give gentle pushes for you to find the right answers or make the right changes.

• He will always show up if you call for him, even if it’s ridiculous, because he loves you so he’s always willing to pamper you, but he does have a job so you might have to wait sometimes.

• If you’re in serious danger, he’s there instantly because he already sensed it. Simeon is normally calm and relaxed so to see him become serious and upset when he needs to protect you from something can be very surprising. If it’s person putting you in danger, his sadistic side comes out with cheerful smile and laugh as he takes care of the threat—as an angel he can’t kill them but the fear he instills is enough.

• Simeon can always tell when you need him, even if it’s not dangerous. He’ll be there for a pep talk, comfort kisses, cuddles, and a nice meal.

Luke

• You’re a handful. He has his work cut out for him, and before this he thought you were the most normal of the bunch.

• “No, MC don’t touch that!” “But you’ll protect me right?” “That’s not the point— NOOOOO MC!”

• Thanks to your guardian pact he can hear your pleas for help and he’s always super panicked but most of the time it’s because you want sweets and don’t know the recipe. He’s relieved and happy to help but make sure not to use him like a personal chef.

• He can tell when you’re in danger and gets chills but most of the time you’re just hanging out with one of the demons.

• He makes you say something specific when you’re in literal immediate danger in case he needs back up. Don’t misuse it because Raphael will show up with spears and he won’t be happy if it’s for something ridiculous.

Raphael

• Raphael is extremely protective and efficient with his job. Sometimes he can’t tell why you called him to specific situations so you’ll need to tell him.

• No matter what you called him for, he already has the spear ready. He scared people a lot by mistake. Police are still looking for a man walking around with a giant spear that cared away a group of people intimidating you.

• After saving you, Raphael won’t leave your side for a while, he needs to make sure you’re still oky and nothing else happens.

• He might guard your door at night, especially if you’re not in a good head space.

• Raphael struggles with understanding emotions so he takes a minute to learn how to help you with yours when you ask for help calming down, feeling happier, etc.

• Raphael can take on anything by himself so he never needs backup. Just calling for him scares people who know of him.

Michael

• Michael became your guardian because he knows that if you were to suddenly die it’d spell doom, as the brothers, ruler of hell, his greatest warrior, etc. would not ever be okay again.

• He already canonically saved you many times. When you almost died in the reaper cave for breaking a rule, and when Solomon’s good sent you into the past.

• He was pleasantly surprised when he found out you weren’t a wicked person but sometimes he’s baffled by your decisions and will telepathically communicate to definitely not do that thing.

• If you’re mentally stressed he sends you blessings and if he can meet you in person he will. His presence is also powerful enough to banish any curse without trying.

• Try not to call him upon demons because this could spell serious trouble for peace between the worlds but if he knows you’re in trouble he’ll lend you holy power to protect yourself to avoid disturbing the alliance with the Devildom.

#obey me shall we date #obey me requests #obey me angels #obey me raphael #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me Michael

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/15/2024 Crew Recap

Hey all, today has been a very very very long day. I’m typing this with my eyeballs glazed over and half open. However, so much has happened in such a little amount of time I wanted share a few things before I pass out I know a lot of you are in different timezones, are busy with life, and taking a break, so maybe this will help with parsing through some of the crazy stuff the crew has been up to.

The petition hit 50K, and is at 52.5K at the moment

Fundraisers: I didn’t even realize there were two different fundraisers for Palestine/Gaza going on but we blew both out of the water. (Note: the second picture is from a November campaign but I think its just as important to highlight— ty for the correction anon!)

The Emmys hashtag turn out was great tonight. There was some pretty amazing and creative stuff going on across all the platforms. Some can be seen on IG, but if you wanna see the majority of it, check out twitter #SaveOFMD #75thEmmys

---We have new ways of protesting and advocating for our show, see here for the thread on tumblr (from twitter):---

And to support that @saltpepperbeard was kind enough to put together a wonderful guide on how to Call It Through as a Crew: Alleviating Some Phone Anxiety which as someone who is socially anxious and sometimes verbally vomits on people when on the phone, is AMAZING and thank you so much for doing that to help.

-- > There is also this new thread on some new places to call into. Don't quote me on that being an official thing we should do, I'm sure @renewasacrew and others will have more in the AM, I just wanted to share it so people could follow if they wanted to.

------------------

New Articles!

Our Flag Means Death: Here’s why season three deserves to be aired

Petition to save BBC show with rare Rotten Tomatoes score gets 50,000 signatures

------------------

There's so much more that's happened today-- but I can't write it all down because my brain is couscous.

<---So instead, I'm going to use this last part to gush over you all and your amazing contributions in all your unique ways. The community support the last few days has been SO INCREDIBLY UPLIFTING.-->

I saw (and experienced) people reblogging asks where random followers, anons, and mutuals just reached out and sent love because they could tell people were struggling.

I've seen comments all over the place on Tumblr, IG, Twitter, and Facebook where each and every person is encouraging each other to speak their mind, or complimenting their artwork, encouraging them if they were feeling uncomfortable with things outside their comfort zones, coming up with new and exciting ways to fight back, people reaching out to the cast/crew just to say hi and remind them we love them.

I've seen Self-Care checkpoints all over, reminding people to drink water, take a break, block your notifications for a while, not engaging in negative behavior.

I've seen people being so nice on instagram posts that the people who were being dicks about all our comments turned around and decided to watch OFMD!

I saw so many people doing new analysis of scenes and characters, and having really deep and friendly discussions that make everyone think in new ways.

I saw people digging through old tumblrs to bring life back to old posts and artwork.

I saw so much NEW artwork, new FICS! New GIFS! So much new art and love!

I could literally go on and on, but I've just...I had to dump this out of my brain otherwise I'd explode. I've just seen so much today that continues to make me so proud of our little safe space ship and so happy to be apart of this community.

You all continue to be the best of the best of humans, and I am so very grateful to get to witness and be apart of it. Rest up lovelies and have a good day / night, wherever you may be. May you dream of sexy middle-aged gay men kissing, or hugging, or whatever else you want them to be getting into.

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #edward teach #renew as a crew #rhys darby #blackbonnet #save our flag means death #save ofmd #ofmd s3 #renew our flag means death #renew ofmd #ofmd daily recap

[alastorswifee]

༆ 𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮!𝓛𝓵𝓸𝔂𝓭 𝓐𝓤

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd being so nervous when he first started dating you, he’s so used to people not wanting to be around him due to his father’s bad reputation

The only people he’s interacted comfortably with are the other ninja but that’s only in a best friend/sibling aspect

When Nya found out about Lloyd’s feelings for you, she encouraged him to be himself and make his move before someone else does

It took the green ninja a good few days before he built up the courage to do it but here he was

He showed up to your locker one morning and told you that you looked really pretty, one thing led to another and that led to you two eating lunch together

Then it became an everyday habit, him always greeting you by the lockers then planning to have lunch together

Soon his confidence got a bit higher than in the beginning but that’s only because he’s gotten to know the kind of person you are and he got comfortable around you

Soon enough he planned a way to ask you out and to his relief and surprise, you said yes

Now you two are a cute little couple

༆Boyfriend!Lloyd bringing you flowers(if you’re allergic then he’ll bring fake/plastic flowers) every week or two as one of his ways of showing you affection

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd walking you to all your classes no matter what you say, he always insists that it’s no trouble at all

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd always aiming to kiss your cheek or forehead because he’s too shy to kiss you on your lips at first

He eventually mans up one day tho don’t worry, with some encouragement from the group

He was hanging out with you after school and as usual, he walked you home to make sure you’re safe. This time tho, instead of kissing your cheek before you head inside, he cupped your cheek which made you look at him with curiosity.

He’d slowly lean down and whisper “can I kiss you?..”

How could you say no?

That’s how you two had your first kiss

Ever since then, he would always want to kiss you, not in overly public places tho because he can get a bit shy with pda

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd introducing you to Koko a month or two into the relationship, he figured that if he’s going to do something as big as dating he might as well let his mother know

She’s thrilled to hear that a girl loves and cares about her son, she invites you to have dinner with them some day and gave you the privilege of getting to call her mum(only if you’re comfortable ofc)

The other Ninja obviously know about you but haven’t properly met you yet. When they did, some of them did the overprotective friend act at first to jokingly scare you but they warmed up to you pretty quickly when they saw how happy you made Lloyd.

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd would invite you to stay the night on weekends if you’re allowed to and if his mum says yes which she most likely will allow

Those little sleepovers will consist of lots of cuddles and kisses

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd has a secret love for baking, from time to time he’ll bake you some sweets such as cupcakes, donuts, macaroons, cookies and more

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd is a very understanding and caring person, if anything’s going on please tell him. The poor baby will get worried sick if you’re being distant or any of your behavior changes

If you need space or time then tell him because worrying him isn’t the best decision

Communication is a huge thing for him, if you can’t tell him what’s going on then it will cause a huge problem because he’ll start worrying and stressing as well as overthinking.

If you’re alright with him helping you through whatever is bothering you, he’ll do everything in his power to try and help you get better and support you.

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd stays up late on some nights because you’re on his mind so that results in him making you playlists with songs that remind him of you or with your music taste

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd being pouty whenever you don’t give him a kiss or you tease him affection wise, he’ll follow you around like a lost puppy until you give him a kiss or anything

༆Boyfriend!Lloyd going on patrol sometimes at night as the green ninja and uses that as an excuse to drop by your bedroom balcony to say hi

Sometimes if you’re okay with it he takes you on nighttime rides in his dragon mech

He’ll show you all the beautiful city lights from a brand new perspective and view. The look of happiness and wonder in your eyes making him fall in love with you all over again

༆ Boyfriend!Lloyd and you relaxing in his mech as he had let it sit ontop one of the tallest buildings in ninjago city.

You both talk about your future while stargazing, Lloyd honestly didn’t think he’d find someone such as yourself but here you are proving him wrong.

He doesn’t wanna get older without your head on his shoulder.

He wishes time could move slower when he’s with you, he cherishes every living second he has with you.

He knows you’re the person he wants to grow old with and be with forever.

And if reincarnation exists..

He hopes to find you in every lifetime.

~

@kitomon eat this while I try to get rid of writers block

#ninjago lloyd #lloyd ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago #the lego ninjago movie #lloyd garmadon #ninjago x reader #lloyd x reader #lloyd garmadon x reader

[semiweirdshipper]

Slashers I think would make great ace partners.

I made this purely for my ace friends and followers. You don't have to agree with anything I say. This was made based on my own opinions and speculation. Like I said, you don't have to read this or agree with anything I say. These were also based on my own interpretations of the killers- aka- emotional support slashers.

1). Albert Wesker

I feel like a lot of people might disagree with me on this one, but I actually believe that Albert would gladly accept an ace partner. Albert has a high standard for people, especially partners. He puts personality value and skill value above all else. He looks for someone who is smart, talented, trustworthy, dependable and loyal. He wants someone who isn't too physically needy and can hold their own while he's gone on long trips. If he can have a partner who meets those needs, then I think he'd probably care less about sexual gratification. He would probably love to tease, pamper and spoil his partner as well for he just loves showing off how good he is at taking care of his loved one.

2). Michael Myers

It goes without saying that Michael probably despises sex or has no idea what sex actually is. If Michael were to find a partner, I think he'd choose a partner who is interesting, emotional and has certain needs. Michael is a protector; he likes guarding his loved one and providing them with care. He finds pride in the service he provides them, especially if it makes them feel happy, comfortable and safe. I do think Michael would like to hold and/or cuddle his partner, but not much more than that. Sex isn't even a part of his vocabulary. He loves his partner no matter who they are.

3). Jason Voorhees (the ultimate baby boy!)

The ultimate sexual pleasure destroyer here who kills every naked person in literally every movie, lol. Jason is a person who needs love, acceptance and reassurance, so he seeks out a partner who is kind, modest and pure. Jason is number one when it comes to putting personality value first. He could care less what his partner looks like, just as long as they are empathetic, accepting, trustworthy, loyal and compassionate. He also probably does love hugs, cuddles and soft, platonic touches because it makes him feel good, but sex is a no no. Jason is extremely caring too, so if his partner has needs, he will glady take care of them. He is a protector.

4). Pinhead/Elliot Spencer (baby boy number 2!)

I believe, due to his power, Elliot can feel the pleasure and determine the worth of a person without even touching them. Physical/sexual gratification isn't exactly something he needs to be able to feel what his partner is feeling. Elliot has a significant attraction towards those who are strong, passionate and determined. The worth of his partner is determined by their aspirations and outlooks on life. He loves to feel their emotions through the bond that they share because it's more meaningful and important to him. I think Elliot would also be pretty obedient and considerate, putting the needs of his partner first. You wanna cuddle? Then let's cuddle. You want space? Then you have your space, he understands.

5). Pyramid Head/The Executioner

I believe that Pyramid baby here is a special case because I don't think he has a "type". I believe he discovers love at first sight- like a soulmate thing. Doesn't matter what the person looks like or anything else. When he can feel that his potential partner is true to him despite whatever flaws they may have, he will instantly submit himself and live up to their expectations. If they prefer not to have sex, then that is perfectly fine. Just as long as this incredible person will stay with him, show him the world and share all kinds of meaningful experiences with him, then he will be infinitely grateful.

6). Jeffrey Hawk/Kenneth Chase (baby boy number 3!)

Jeffrey Hawk is a classical Kentucky tease (psst, I literally have no idea if he's from Kentucky. I just made it up, hehehe). Jeffrey does not define his partner's worth based on anything other than personality. Appearance doesn't matter, financial stance doesn't matter. Just as long as his partner is honest, loyal, caring and fun, then he will love them till the cows come home. His favorite things to do with his partner are cracking jokes, teasing, doing magic tricks, eating and exploring. He loves the attention and having his partner with him. Their smile and laugh is the very heart of his day. When it comes to sexual intimacy, he doesn't really care.

7). Ji-woon Hak

Some people might not agree with me on this one either, but whatever. I believe that Ji-woon would be a bit like Pyramid Head and view his partner as his soul mate. To him, they are the most precious, most beautiful and the most important jewel to him and he would do anything for them. Including giving up sex. There are other ways to enjoy time like teaching his partner how to play instruments or taking them on tour. Just as long as you're having fun, that's all that matters to him. He also loves attention and showing his partner off to the world. "Ha, jealous much? Look at my beautiful partner that you don't have!"

8). Carmina Mora

Carmina has been through a lot in life. She takes loss very seriously and will do anything to keep those closest to her safe. She also has insecurities and emotional issues, so risking bad behavior that would result in losing her partner is too great a risk. If she could find someone who was understanding, gentle and kind, and could accept her despite all her bad mistakes, I think she would be ever grateful to that person. I see Carmina as being more demi; needing that strong, emotional connection before ever doing anything intimate with her partner if that's what her partner wants. She's very loyal and caring, and will love her partner no matter what.

Fellow mentions I couldn't decide on (tell me what you think): Evan MacMillan, Bubba Sawyer, Bo Sinclair, Max Thompson, and Rin Yamaoka.

#dead by daylight fanfiction #slasher fanfiction #albert wesker x reader #michael myers x reader #jason voorhees x reader #pinhead x reader #pyramid head x reader #jeffrey hawk x reader #ji woon hak x reader #Carmina Mora x reader #emotional support slashers #asexual reader #aroace reader #Demisexual reader #ace spec #non binary reader #bo sinclair #evan macmillan #max thompson jr #rin yamaoka #bubba sawyer #personal post

[roturo]

EUNOIA

•synopsis: Who would've believed Gojo Satoru can become one with a curse? maybe another version of him is breathing and motivation being awakened from him. Will you come to him?

PLEASE REPOST AND LEAVE A COMMENT ;)

•warnings: smut, penis in vagina, blowjob (reader), nipple play (both), corruption kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation, plenty orgasms, unprotected sex, pussy eating, use of nicknames (princess, baby, pup, sweetheart...),mating press, marking, possessive behavior, curse!reader, virgin!reader, gojo is portrayed as playboy somewhere, gojo whimpers just bc i say so, soft!dom gojo, lovesick!gojo, like, really lovesick, enemies to lovers, angst & fluff, reader is a strong curse just because i can, afab & she/her reader.

EUNOIA; (eúnoia)  'well mind; beautiful thinking'

Love is a heavy word. You can’t love everyone, nor everything.

The word ‘love’ has loosen its meaning through time…

or has it become more natural?

Looking back at society in past years, everything was built by hate, anger…  to kill.

But now? Things are almost the same. Society became more peaceful, tuneful even. But those emotions full of anger & hate became locked inside people to maintain society as a ‘safe space’

And people couldn’t suppress them forever, as hard as you tried to help people find love, happiness, not only on people, but on things, music, life.

They couldn’t change their shady mind into beautiful thinking.

But you couldn’t blame yourself for not helping people to free their mind and find at least the good things in life. You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. 

Walking through the lightful streets of Tokyo, watching people and their emotions, you couldn’t resist throwing some powder disguised as dust for people to inhale and keep those bad emotions away from them for some time. But for some reason that wasn’t enough to get rid of that bad energy spreading all over the place.

People seemed more relaxed, one of your techniques worked. Playing with people’s mind, the saneness and atmosphere felt the same as before, but you could sense people were more sensible.

So you couldn’t understand what’s going on. As you kept walking forward, following the energy to find from where it’s from, you stopped in a… bakery? 

Looking through the big windows of the place, you finally knew from whom it was coming. But something seemed wrong. He seems happy eating whatever dessert he ordered, his appearance seemed in order, not showing any kind of sadness, or desmotivation. 

It was strange enough of him to use some black small rounded glasses inside of a store at night. His white hair was easy to distinguish and locate him easily. He looked like he’s really tall, looking at his long legs barely being capable of sitting comfortably in those chairs from the bakery. He was perfect.

But you couldn’t quite decipher why he has this happy mood from the outside but some type of bad energy coming from him.

Until… it clicked in.

Cursed energy. A lot of it. But you could also sense stress from him, a tiny bit of sadness. You felt your cheek getting wet from an unexpected tear coming out. Wiping it away from your face, you looked at your hand,

You could sense people’s mind, but never their feelings nor their emotions. So why are you feeling this from him? The loss of someone, worry for others, fear of failure again… 

And it seems like he felt it too, putting down the cupcake he was about to bite, furrowing his eye-brows, looking for something… someone.

Until he sensed cursed energy coming from somewhere, outside this bakery, so he looked at you. He knows you are a curse, so why do you look so human? So real? How could people see you too?

You locked eyes with him, feeling stronger emotions coming out of the both of you, stress was the first one. When his eyes met yours, his body untensed for a moment, before tensing again and his brows furrowing again, but this time instead of looking just confused, he also seemed angry.

Feeling this coming out of him, a strong energy surrounding him, made you start running away from it. Pushing people out of the way, looking somewhere safer to calm down.

But you underestimated this guy, he was faster, stronger, bigger. And he found you in less of a second in that lonely alley.

‘Who are you and what did you just do to me?’ He grabbed you by the neck of your shirt, making you squeak when he pushed you to the wall.

‘I-I don’t k-know.. I’m so-sorry, please don’t exorcize me sir… I’m not evil nor a threat to people, i-in fact I want to h-help them.’ You were praying to somehow escape from this alive and unharmed, his cursed energy is so overwhelming you could swear you were drowning on it. 

Gojo has dealt with curses who could talk, even understand him. But he never saw a curse like you. Human looking. And somehow you avoided his infinity to use your powers on him. That’s why he has you like this, he could easily exorcize you right now and right here with just a clap, but he needed to know first why and how you trespassed his infinity.

‘How did you do that?’ He pushed you harder to the wall, hitting your head with it, but not hard enough to be in pain. 

‘D-do what?’

‘Connected with me.’

‘What?...’

‘You.. you somehow trapassed my infinity and connected with me or some shit, how did you do that? That’s not possible.’ What did he just say? Infinity?

‘And how could I not sense you immediately? Who are you?’

Wait… ‘You’re Gojo Satoru?!’ You jumped from his grip, moving to your side.

The strongest sorcerer of all, right in front of you, asking for your name, looking the good way, you were flattered to know he had some type of interest in you. So you did what he asked you and told him your name.

‘I-I don’t know how I did that, that w-was new for me too, I just can sense bad thinking from people and fix it into good thinking, bu-but I could never feel it or know why they’re feeling that way…’

He looked at you in disbelief, and then proceeded to sigh. ‘Try it.’

‘What?’

‘Try to do that again.’ He signaled the both of you.

‘Uh… Do I have to look at you in the eyes?’

‘I don’t know! It’s supposed to be your technique.’

You sighed, and then looked at him. He’s really handsome you thought, feeling your face getting hot, you concentrated your whole energy to one, and trespassed to connect to him.

And you think he didn’t notice yet when you discovered he was feeling flustered to look at you again, but he had enough self control to not show it. But then his eyes widened and grabbed you by your cheeks, not strong enough to hurt you, but making your face look like a fish.

‘What the…fuck.’ If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t be able to hear how low the whisper was. But suddenly you felt his index finger in the middle of your forehead and everything started getting blurry, feeling giddy, until everything went blank.

You woke up in a white room, your eyes still adjusting to the shiny lights, Hearing some background voices, you were trying to fully wake up.

‘What the hell are we going to do Shoko? Do I have to kill her? This has never happened since… ‘He stopped himself before continuing.  ‘Well… isn’t she a threat?’

‘I don’t even know Gojo, this is as new to me as new to you. I have never seen a curse like… her? Is she even a person? Mind manipulation is one thing, but… she has never used her curse for the bad, y’know? Maybe she’s not a threat.’ Gojo scoffed, looking in disbelief at you, not noticing you were starting to wake up.

‘What grade is she?’

‘Uh well… for her power she should be a semi-grade 1, but if we take in consideration the fact she trespassed your infinity she should be a special grade, but… it seems like she doesn’t know how to use it, nor how to fight, so it’s basically just a title.’

You tried to stand up, but some chains stopped you from it. You could see Shoko and Gojo jump in surprise when they heard you moving.

It was an awkward situation, the three of you looking at each other without talking. Maybe they’re waiting for you to start talking? Fight?

‘What are we doing with her?’

 Basically they decided to leave you alive, for future purposes apparently. They had one rule for you.

‘Never leave Gojo’s side.’

And yeah, it was really awkward at first, having to spend time with the strongest sorcerer, obviously annoyed by your presence and how they seemed to like you.

Sleeping on the floor of his room was really uncomfortable. Spending cold nights with just a blanket in your body makes you rethink your whole existence.

Everyone was really nice, they treated you as someone else and not like the person who could go through ‘Gojo’s Satoru Infinity’

Everyone but him. His silly personality was really cute and you tried to befriend him, making jokes, trying to get to know him, but as much as you tried you never got to warm up.

They told you he likes sweets, okay! That's a useful fact!

And well, it was a good fact indeed. You made some cookies for him, his eyes sparked up when he saw the plate full of cookies for him, he just looked at you and thanked you with a small smile. It was starting to work out!

Your never-ending enthusiasm to befriend him began to work its magic on Gojo. Whether it was your mischievous pranks or your infectious laughter, your presence gradually started to warm the usually distant sorcerer's heart. Soon, even Gojo couldn't deny the hidden charm beneath your cursed exterior. Finding himself in his room tasting different desserts you made for him, thinking about you on missions when eating at a bakery, thinking your desserts don’t compare to what he’s eating right now. He started to like you. 

Twisted nights spent together by the both of you, bursting laughter coming from the both of you, laying on the grass looking for stars, taking you to missions (just to the place he’s visiting, he didn’t want you to be in danger)...

He never saw himself falling for a girl, a curse, he’s more of a one night stand, never going on dates, just buying luxury things for them to keep them an extra week with him. But as Your relationship with Gojo deepened, you discovered the mask behind his unflappable façade. Gojo opened up to you, sharing his dreams, doubts, and fears. You reciprocated by offering your unwavering support, feeling what he’s feeling like you’re the one who went through it. Your bond became a haven of understanding, acceptance, and genuine affection.

He began to show his lighter-side with you, being affectionate with you (in private since he was too shy for pda, because what would they think about this?), but he was afraid.

He was afraid of the power you were having over him, he showed you a new world while you gave him sparkling moments that go in a flash because of how much he enjoys them. He even finds himself smiling at your picture he took with his phone while the both of you were teasing the other. Your pouty lips, trying to hit him.

Hit him.

He never felt someone hitting him playfully until he met you.

He never felt someone hugging him until one rainy night you were shivering on the floor, he invited you to his bed and woke up next to you, your hands hugging his body tightly like you were afraid of him leaving you. That day, became an usual morning routine. Waking up at the sight of you resting on his chest, caressing your cheeks and just admiring your beauty.

He was afraid of losing you.

He wasn’t afraid of you trying to kill him, turning evil, shit, he wasn’t afraid if you tried to fucking kill all the humans in this world. He was afraid of you leaving his side, you were the most precious thing in this world for him.

You colored his more of five senses and became the purple of his blue and red. 

Until one day you weren’t by his side in the morning. He called for your name, maybe you were in the bathroom, but he was just with silence in the room. Maybe you were somewhere in the halls walking through the students' dorms? Maybe Nobara called for you?

But nothing. 

His greatest fear, losing someone again became reality. 

Well, not truly…

Maybe you were planning to ask him to be his girlfriend?...

And thank god he was a little foolish to never think about your plan.

When he went to search for you after Nobara told him ‘you went shopping’ you quickly entered the room and started preparing everything.

It wasn’t some luxury set up with petals everywhere, a jacuzzi and balloons, but you had his favorite desserts, a small letter of you confessing your feelings for him, and some matching bracelets for the both of you.

You dressed up in your floral sundress, put some make-up on and fixed your hair once Nobara gave you the heads up for Gojo coming back.

And oh boy, Gojo came back pissed. Truly hiding he was so fucking terrified of not finding you. He was mumbling things under his breath, swearing he would kill everyone if he didn’t find you.

Even Shoko was shocked at his behavior since he never seemed this committed to a girl like he did right now, he seemed happier with you, brighter.

And he swears he was about to fucking hit Ijichi until he felt a known energy coming from his room. In a blink he was standing in front of his door, he could sense you were anxious, his hands started getting sweaty, not knowing what to expect.

When he opened the door and saw you standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, with a small smile adorning your face, the familiar smell of freshly made mochis, you could see his shoulders untensed, he was no longer wearing his glasses nor his blindfold. He seemed confused at first until you stepped closer to him and handed him a letter.

‘Dear ‘Toru:

How do I even start this? You’ll be surprised to know that everytime I reach for your hand after an exhausting night makes me feel relaxed in an instant. Ever since we met, the word ‘love’ has become something different for me. It became a stronger and heavier word to take out of me. You made me stop focusing on what others think, to try and teach everyone how important it is to have a feeling of goodwill. Because not everyone knows how it feels to find someone that makes you feel like you want to improve this world since you see the rest of your life with them. They say love is blind but I personally believe that this is not true because I can see and feel the love that exists between us. My love for you is capable of turning back the hands of the clock.

In other words, the issue here is that you think I’m not head over heels in love with your dumb fucking ass.’

You heard Gojo chuckle and looking back at you, you swear his eyes were brighter than last time you saw them, his demeanor seemed excited. And in not even a second he was grabbing you by your waist and giving a spin before hugging you.

‘You don’t know how much I wanted to do this, but I guess you were faster than me. You’ve got me acting like a fool.’ After that his lips connected with yours, and it was like they were molded for him. It tasted as sweet as candy, such a precious thing for someone else to have. He feels like he just won the lottery, fuck that, he has all the money he has, he feels like he just fucking rules this world.

He grabbed your legs with both of his hands, your legs wrapping around his body taking you into an even closer hug. Taking some steps back making sure to close the door. Then he laid you down on his bed. Giving small pecks all around your face which cause you to giggle. His kisses started trailing down your neck until he found that spot that made you whine and make your breathing heavier.

Your hands wrapped around his neck, supporting yourself, he continued kissing you. His hands roaming and exploring your whole body. Taking a break from kissing, he grabbed your hands from his neck, pinning them with one of his hands all extended above your head on the bed.

He just admired your form, your pouty lips after all that kissing, your uneven breathing trying to calm yourself down. You were perfect. You were now his.

‘Baby… before I continue, are you sure about this?’ He asked you, his eyes searching for any discomfort in your body. You nodded your head, giving him a shy smile.

‘I need words baby, words.’ He chuckled at you, getting closer to your ear and slightly biting the part of your neck below it. 

‘Just fuck me already ‘toru, be my first for once.’

Gojo’s breath stopped suddenly, his eyes were wide thanks to the unexpected information. The thought of being the first man to make you his, and he’s sure he’ll also be the last, made the blood of his brain go exactly to his dick.

He sighed, almost sounding like a whimper, ‘Is that so baby? he hummed before his hands got under your dress and started playing with your nipples. You didn’t bother to use a bra since the fabric of the dress was thick enough to cover your body. With a pinch on your nipple with his index finger and thumb, twisting it, made you moan, at which he just smirked.

His free hand started unzipping your dress, his other hand leaving your tits to help you undress, leaving you just in your underwear. He looked at you like if you were a piece of art, (which you are for his eyes only) admiring his work of marking you, your face already fucked up and he just started.

‘We can stop anytime.’ He assured you at which you just shyly nodded before your hands grabbed his shirt, signaling to take it off. He chuckled before doing so, he started kissing you again, then slowly going down your body, kissing your tits, tummy, until he reached your underwear. He gave you a last look before he continued. He gave a small peck on your clothed pussy before taking it off. 

‘Can’t believe I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. Makes me want to wreck you.’ His face suddenly surged into your pussy, his nose tickling your clit while he started teasing your hole with his tongue. Making you moan his name, you could feel he started drawing infinity symbols with his tongue before it changed to pleasure your clit and he then inserted his index finger inside of you.

‘Y-yes ‘toru! Right there!..’ Your moans made him a starved man and started devouring your pussy with more favor, making the pleasure way too much to handle, moans and whines coming out of your mouth, he then inserted a second finger inside of you. Making you feel giddy and your vision becoming blurry thanks to the tears forming on your eyes.

‘That’s right sweetheart, cry for me, show me how much you like this.’ He stopped eating you out, while he admired your body twitching thanks to his fingers moving inside of you.

You covered your face with one of your arms and his movement suddenly stopped.

‘Ah-ah, I need to see you princess, 'm simply enjoying the view. it's not every day I get to fuck someone so pretty. Let me see that pretty face of yours and I'll continue.’ With a whine you uncover yourself and he starts moving his fingers again, transforming that whine into a moan. ‘That's it baby.’

He just needed to move his finger a little higher and with that your vision became white and you came. Stripes of your fluids wetting Gojo’s fingers.

‘Such a good little pup, aren't you?’ He chuckled to himself before he started unbuckling himself, giving you time to calm yourself down.

‘You want to continue sugar?’ You nodded and that’s all he needed before getting his remaining clothes off. Showing his hard cock, the base was beige-ish with a pink and hard tip. A vein adorning it on the left part, it wasn’t so thick but oh man, he was large.

‘It won’t fit ‘toru.’

‘I’ll make it fit baby.’

He started inserting his cock inside of you, the stretch making you furrow your face.He started giving you small pecks to distract you from the pain it’ll later turn into please. He was half in when you swear you could feel the tip of his cock coming out of your throat.

‘Just a bit more princess…’ Once he was completely inside, he gave you some time to adjust yourself. It wasn’t until his cock twitched a little inside of you that touched your gummy spot that made you see stars. 

‘Please move ‘toru.’

He started carefully thrusting, testing to see if you’re comfortable. ‘Do I continue- agh- baby..?’ He said between whimpers, feeling your hole clenching perfectly on his cock had him feeling like no other.

‘Huh…uh…keep going.’ He started thrusting faster, each time sucking him better than the last. ‘Faster—ah shit—harder…’

Your hands rested on his chest, while Gojo grabbed your legs, throwing them each on his shoulders, putting you into a mating press. Your hands then lowered themselves a little not his nipples, and you made an experimental movement of moving his nipple to the side, at which he responded with a whimper coming out of his mouth.

‘Nng~ That’s right baby, I love it when you touch me like that.’ He groaned when you pinched his right nipple, before a moan came out of you. Making you see stars again while he continued thrusting into you. Your fluids make it easier for him to insert himself again.

His hand traveled down your body until it met your clit, rubbing it, causing the overstimulation making you almost scream. Tears coming out of you, strips of cum filling your womb. But he didn’t stop.

‘I-im sorry baby, it just- ah~ feel so good.’ The overstimulation became too much for him too, rubbing your clit faster while he clumsy continued thrusting, making the both of you cum again in not even 5 minutes.

He lowered your legs down, admiring your hole full of his cum, before resting beside you. Getting an arm sound your body while he covered the both of you with the sheets and you rested your head on his chest.

Heavy breathing was all you could hear, before he gave you a small peck on the top of your head, looking back at him, the both of you smiled at the other. Both of you became one eunoia.

#gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader smut #gojo satoru fluff #gojo smut #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu gojo #jujustu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x you #satoru gojo #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #my fav post rn

[astaroth1357]

My Incredibly Spoiler Heavy Thoughts on Nightbringer

TURN BACK IF YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST IN PLAYING THE GAME AT ALL. I MEAN IT.

Hello. I have completed all 10 lessons on the Normal difficulty. These are my thoughts:

First, a disclaimer. All of this is my opinion. If you feel differently about a character or plot point, that's fine. This is all just as I see it.

Holy hell, I love the setup here so damn much. The Nightbringer story so far is truly more than just a rehash of the OG plot, largely because of all the small stuff that keeps happening in background. Yes, we're befriending the brothers again, but we don't know WHY. Why are we in the past? Who sent us there? What do they want from us, or... what do they want out of somebody else?? 👀 I have to hand it to the writers for coming up with this premise, it's soild. Will they stick the landing...? We'll see.

The New! (Old) Cast

Lucifer:

Whelp, Luci is being colder to us than ever... But far more openly involved with his brothers than we saw previously. You can really tell that this is fresh off of the War and he's just trying his best to keep everybody corralled and (somewhat) comfortable.

He still holds onto his Celestial Realm prejudice against demons, so he doesn't trust MC at all which is an interesting turn on the dynamic from before. As a human, Lucifer saw us as weak and insignificant so he didn't give us much time of day. But as a "demon," and someone more knowledgeable about the Devildom than himself, he has to suck it up and rely on MC even if he wants them to stay away.

By the end of Lesson 10, it's safe to say whatever trust he had in MC is going to be shattered. MC has talked their way out of a lot, but even Dia looks shaken by their abilities this time... I'm curious to see if they can reestablish a relationship with him when he was already keeping them at arms length to start with.

Mammon:

Ah, Mammon... Once simp, forever a simp across time and space. Bless him. I guess he's just doomed to always fall first when it comes to MC. It DOES NOT take long for him to be down bad even if you don't romance him specifically (I would know because I'm trying to stay mono-Levi this go around).

Aside from his tsundere-ness, though, we do get a look into more of his insecurities. I find an interesting pattern developing in him where he just tends to latch onto a person and follow them unfailing. He did that with Lucifer before the Fall, he didn't even think about the consequences before going through with it. You could see him doing much the same with MC. I think it stems from a lack of confidence in himself and his own abilities, constantly relying on others to guide him through big decisions and provide him with validation. Add another poor thing to the list...

Leviathan:

I swear to God, the devs realized that Levi's charm lies in his pathos, so they went out of the way to make him EVEN MORE pathetic than normal. I still love him for it, of course. But seriously, Levi starts out practically afraid of his own shadow when the story starts. It makes sense, Levi would have probably one of the more negative impressions of demons of the seven, having fought them head on. He was a shut in before the War and now he's even more terrified to leave the house, let alone his room... (I can't be the only one who's wondering how the hell Dia's going to look at him and go, "Ah yes! I see Admiral material right there!" right?)

I do like that the writers took the time to show that he's one of the more empathetic brothers, right alongside Asmo and Beel, even if he's bad with people. Levi is quick to sympathize with beings and creatures who don't fit in and it's always very sweet to see. I also guess that Simeon wrote TSL in secret or after the War? You think he would know of it at least having lived so long with the author... Anyway. I digress.

There's a lot of... small things around Levi that I think hint at the inner feelings of the brothers, though (of all seven of them, he has the WORST poker face I swear). I may touch on those in another post because I need time to gather my thoughts on how it all connects there... Anyway, he's still my favorite and I'm going to try to see if there's any truth to this "you get a deeper connection if you stick to one brother" thing. Wish me luck.

Satan:

Okay, load your guns now because I think Satan is the real star of the show here. They're actually pulling way more than the "He's mad because he's seen like Lucifer" card. We're at a point where Satan doesn't even consider himself associated with the brothers AT ALL. That means something and has consequences on the story. He didn't even go with them to check on Beel, despite having enough fire power that he could have probably helped a lot.

Now before someone goes screaming at me that they've devolved him into comic relief, I'd first like to ask what did you think he was going to be? OG Satan told us himself that he used to feel nothing but anger. He's going to be pissed, irrational, and violent. He's Wrath.

What truly they're giving us under all of that is a look into a vulnerable guy who doesn't know anything about the world around him and is trying to pick it up on his own because his brothers can't (and maybe won't) teach him. They keep chaining him up (which I hate btw) and talk about him like he's a beast. But it's partially because they're such terrible communicators that he flies off the handle so often to begin with.

Satan is more alone than really anybody else is the Devildom. His brothers already have all this history together and memories shared during their time as angels, stuff he has no context for and could never experience himself. He's still an outcast among demons for his association with them, despite being a fully fledged demon in his own right, and he doesn't know why he has to be linked to them because he barely knows them anyway. He's taking baby steps to understand the world, but when he goes to his brothers to ask questions they lampshade him for even having clear thoughts. All they see him as is a roaring beast. This version of Satan is fascinating to me. How does he start here and end up the eloquent, emotionally-controlled bookworm with a planet's worth of connections? I gotta know!!

Asmodeus:

They FINALLY started giving Asmo his proper flowers! I still think it could have been more, but he's gotten way more depth than he had before. I know that Asmo part technically involved MC's input the least out of all of the brothers, but I think that was by design.

Asmo is a surprisingly introspective individual under his urge to perform. MC didn't have to give much input because he just didn't need as much. He knows himself very well (unlike some of the others). He's an emotionally intelligent guy who can sort out his own inner problems and remain empathetic enough to want to help his brothers in his own way. I wanted to hear more from this side of Asmo, honestly, but the game seems to make it clear that he's content with his spot of being the family's brightest smile. I hope it makes more appearances as we go on.

Beelzebub:

This one is tricky, because lesson 10 leaves off on a cliffhanger related to Beel... So I think Beel's feelings will have more consequences than the other brothers' on the story. Most of all that we see of Beel is, unfortunately, him being hungry or off being wholesome with Belphie but lesson 10 did give us some eye-openers regardless.

First, apparently if he flies off the handle, Beel is quite the challenge to handle. It takes Dia himself to restrain him, which is pretty insane for the sixthborn in the line-up. It's possible some outside magic is cranking up his power somehow, but we won't know until the next lessons are out.

Secondly, I find it very interesting that Beel's "heart-to-heart" moment with us is being saved for last... It was definitely the most surprising one of the secrets in the teasers (in my opinion). Beel and Belphie are glued to the hip and share everything together so for him to have a secret "not even Belphie" knows is pretty shocking. I hope it's not just that he saved Belphie instead of Lilith since we all already know that. It'd be a pretty cheap pay off to all this buildup... Not that I haven't been disappointed before or anything.

Belphegor:

Similar to Beel, Belphie doesn't get much attention until the end and it isn't much that we haven't heard before, unfortunately. You kind can't blame them, since plumbing out Belphie's inner trauma about the War was the entire climax of the first game. It's nothing we don't already know. That being said, I think there's some more interesting things that are being said about Belphie or left unsaid by the others that I find more fascinating to keep track of.

TLDR, I think there's some weird distancing going on between Belphie and the others. It doesn't seem super apparent, but Levi dropped some weird bombshells early on and I can't help but notice how he just never seems to be without Beel. Those two are close, yeah, but in this game they're practically a unit. I'm pretty sure Belphie is using Beel as a security blanket of sorts. He's also the ONLY one to mention Lilith in any great detail. Unsurprising, but it's worth noting that the others haven't really brought her up despite it (supposedly) starting the War.

Diavolo:

Somebody give this guy a vacation and a raise... So apparently, the brothers were cast down, the old King took one look at them and counted to seven, then conked out. Now our boy has to rule the kingdom. He's... the same really. As far as I can tell. You can really see how much he's taken to the brothers' antics though, which checks out in the other game too.

WAAAY more fascinating to me is apparently there's some kind of body called the House of Lords who think that Dia is too young for the job. What's the House of Lords?? Who are they? Are they like a council or advisory board...? Or is this a UK setup? Is there a Parliamentary board?? I dunno, could just be my Poli Sci talking but I'm now so lost on how the Devildom operates now...

Barbatos:

Oh my God, if there is any character I could live vicariously through, it was Barbs here. For whatever unnamed reason he is NOT having any of Solomon's shit right now and I'm living for it. Setting my delight aside, we don't get to see very much of him and what we do see doesn't really differ from the norm, which only makes his detest all the more shocking.

Through Barbs, we also see just how potent the power of the pacts can be when Solomon summons him and more or less forces him to do as he says. Nothing seems to stop him from retaliating after the fact, as he sent Solomon off who knows where, but seeing that kind of power wielded over a being who's almost unattainable to us is... Well. I feel bad for Asmo.

Simeon:

There's a lot to unpack with Simeon... and a lot of it is in the stuff that goes unsaid. First, I already found it strange that he didn't seem surprised to see Satan in the House. Or if he was, he didn't say it or bother introducing himself which is... telling for a guy like Simeon. He's back to being Luke's minder in front of demons, but I can't help but notice that he doesn't do much to counter Luke's tirades. He only indicates that it's impolite to say them, so he may still harbor the very same feelings.

Simeon and Lucifer have something of a heart to heart together that they never would in the OG title where Simeon admits his biggest regret. It isn't that he didn't follow Lucifer, as we might think, but that he doesn't feel like did enough to reach out to him before he made his decision. Lucifer dispells this, but I think it goes to show that Simeon stands behind his decision to stay and that it was the better option. Lucifer also confront Simeon on why he didn't take a high position (seraph) and instead settled for archangel. It's left open ended what his real motives for that would be, but I suspect that it has something to do with Simeon's troubling streak of going against the grain, even in subtle ways. Or he has too much anger about what happened to accept taking Lucifer's old position.

I found it interesting how easily these two seemed to talk about intimate topics together here where Lucifer barely even acknowledges Simeon's attempts to reach out in the OG story. I wonder what may have happened to sour their relationship so severely...?

Luke:

Luke the Racist Chihuahua returns!! Okay, I'm being a little mean but he's pretty much just self-righteous little kid the whole way through. I will admit, it is a little funny that the person who came up with the nickname was actually Lucifer. I think it's now retconned and confirmed that Luke and the brothers never knew each other before the Fall... though Luke seems to know OF their former selves in some capacity. I could be misinterpreting things though.

The Rat Bastard Solomon:

I swear to God this was me playing through the whole game tied to this guy.

He's lying. A lot. Constantly. And it pisses me off to no end. I was wondering why things he was saying and the stuff he was doing weren't lining up and OF COURSE it's because he's either working his own agenda or being outright deceitful. I hate him so much, y'all, you don't even know...

That aside, as an impartial observer Solomon is pulling a lot of work to support MC and you can TELL how down bad he is for them, which actually has significance for the plot I think. He's keeping them in the dark about something, but considering his feelings I say we can at least be charitable and assume it isn't to hurt them or cause them any suffering... intentionally. He's also as unscrupulous as ever, considering how he ordered a very angry Barbs around and more or less took advantage of a life or death situation to make a pact with Asmo.

So. At the end of the lessons, we're reintroduced to the mysterious Nightbringer. The character who actually sent us back in time at the start of the game. Yeah, it wasn't Barbatos... probably. At least not our reliable neighborhood butler anyway. They seem to be different entities but I THINK they might share some connection....

I have to wonder who disguised MC when they first arrived. The marketing made it seem like it would be Solomon but the marketing has been hit or miss on actual accuracy about the game we're seeing. If it was Solomon, then he had to have known where the MC was before he called. If it was Nightbringer then... well actually. We need to touch on that first.

Nightbringer:

Now, much of this is just me speculating so take things with a grain of salt. Nightbringer's name is blocked out, but it seems like it identified itself to us in the beginning before sending us to the past. It appears like it wants something from Solomon.... to fully corrupt him maybe? And it's using MC as leverage against him.

I suspect that all of the weird stuff that has been happening is tied to its meddling in some way, but to what end is unclear... Sending Levi and MC into TSL, tricking Asmo then trying to feed everyone to a spider, and, likely, whatever is going on with Beel. I can't tell if it's trying to push MC and the brother's closer together, or just making vaguely comical attempts at homicide by fictional characters, spider, and Gluttony incarnate.

The situation with Adam does give us a hint into its nature. It appears to be some kind of dark, trickster being that gives a person what they desire, but never the way they intended. A walking monkey's paw, if you will. Solomon says that Nightbringer made him what he is today, so perhaps he worked under it or is simply under the influence of one its "deals." Their relationship is adversarial, though. When they're speaking, they talk about the two supernatural sides, Angel and Demon, and Nightbringer seems to want to force Solomon to make a choice between them. Lose his humanity, maybe?

I'm not quite willing to say that Nightbringer is a demon just yet, at least not one of the ones we normally encounter. Something about it seems... older. More powerful than that. But we'll have to wait for more info.

My crackpot theory?

Solomon has made a deal with Nightbringer in order to go back in time and do... something. He's after something. Nightbringer agreed, but dragged MC along as collateral for Solomon to get it done within a certain amount of time or makes sure he honors his part of the bargin. Barbatos knows this, either because he is linked to in some way to Nightbringer or saw it happen in the doorway, and is disgusted by his actions but unable to speak about it due to the pact. Or, you know. That's our present Barbie also dragged along for the ride and he's pissed that he's been essentially hijacked and taken away from present Diavolo, but forbidden to speak about it.

#i may do ONE LAST analysis post #over my speculation #and just weird stuff I saw #but after that #it’s back to the normal content #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me nightbringer #obey me analysis #obey me nightbringer analysis #om spoilers #omn spoilers #obey me spoliers #obey me nb spoilers #obey me nighbringer spoilers

[silent-sanctum]

You know in honor of Valentines Day, how about I make a list of Valentines headcanons about Jotaro Kujo:

♡ When someone asks what flag color he is, one would most likely say red because of his rude, standoffish, and aloof personality (mostly seen in his teenage years)

♡ However, if you think about it aside from the rough exterior, he's actually a subtle green flag. Let me explain-

♡ This is one of those instances where you have to look past his awkward loner-esque personality and observe how he treats people that don't constantly piss him off.

♡ There's a reason why some of us compare his "heart of gold" to the Amazon Forest that is Jonathan:

♡ Jotaro respects boundaries. As someone who's space often gets violated by unwanted fangirls, he's very aware of the importance of personal space. He won't force you to do stuff you don't want to.

♡ Jotaro is open-minded. He likes to explore his surroundings a lot and isn't exactly rigid with preferences or routines. He's willing to accompany you to wherever you want to go and would try out stuff you'd like for him to try out. After all, he did surprise Joseph when he said India was a neat place to be in.

♡ Jotaro is an active listener. Unlike Jonathan, he can't really offer you solid words of comfort. It's not his expertise. But to make up for that, he'd lend a ear to whatever you want to say to him. Sure, he won't talk much but at times, when you really need someone, he'd be there for you- help you out by giving advice on how to not get hurt again, and help provide you logical reasoning that validates your feelings.

♡ Jotaro is loyal and caring. Yes, he's all "mean and grouchy" no one's denying that, but behind that tough skin is someone that loves his friends and family. He values their security above all else and is willing to put his life on the line just to keep them safe from danger. He also isn't one to condone cheating as evident by his statement about Joseph's infidelity.

♡ Jotaro's love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. He likes company but he just can't express it well. At times, he'd spend some of his free time just being by your side, lowkey glad seeing you happy with him around. He can tell when you're upset just by reading your body language or can tell what you need from piecing together recollections of your words. As a result, he'd find ways to make you happy using the methods he can do. He'd buy stuff you like, offer you dinner dates at a restaurant that serves your current cravings, put on your favorite movie or music etc.

♡ Jotaro isn't as possessive as you'd expect him to be. He's very aware he's shit at being an entertaining guy, so he isn't in the position of being all high and mighty of wanting you to just be with him. If anything, he likes seeing you enjoy your day hanging out with friends... but he'd really appreciate it when you'd often have him in mind and you invite him to hang with your friend group. Whether he accepts or declines, he's happy you considered inviting him. But if he sees someone blatantly trying to make moves on you, then he has to intervene to remind everyone that you're taken.

❣️ When Valentines arrives... ❣️

♡ Honestly, don't expect him to show up in public being head-over-heels with some grand display of affection because he's not Jonathan nor Joseph.

♡ Instead, you'd find him waiting for you to finish your tasks and either tells you ahead of time where they're going to spend the day or asks you where do you want to go.

♡ Either way, you engage in usual banter and conversation, just how you both liked it over the months, and continue to do so even when dining or spending time in said place.

♡ You both don't show much PDA as an average couple would, and you didnt mind it one bit. But there are times where Jotaro wouldn't mind holding your hand in public. He'd slowly reach your hand, hold it, and place your interlocked hands in his pocket. And you find that genuinely endearing.

♡ Depending on his impromptu plans, he'd either bring you out in a quiet area of a park or ask you if you'd like to hang in his place or yours. And when reaching somewhere private, it's only there that you find out he actually bought you a bouquet and a gift containing something you wanted.

♡ With the way he approached you all bashful under his hat throughout the entirety of the day, you're reminded why you fell in love with him despite the awful first impressions.

♡ To end it off, you both finish the day either by cuddling to sleep or having an intimate session before going to sleep.

#jotaro x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jotaro kujo #mijin thoughts

[thetriplets3]

hi lovely! i have a request!!! could you do one where matt and reader are secretly dating and they go out on a date and someone catches them? like fan and they post it or something?? thx girl love ur work!!!

❝𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰❞

this is the jet lag and the covid brewing in my body that wrote this, not me. i have no idea if any of this is coherent or makes sense but i hope it’s okay

matt and i have been dating for nearly 2 years now having been friends since highschool. and we decided it was best for both of us to keep our relationship a secret public eye. his brothers, nate, and madi know but that’s it. just a few people we know would never say anything. their fans know of me and that i went to school with them so it’s no surprise to see me with them all but that’s the extent of it. matt posts a few soft launch photos of us but keeping me private. i don’t follow the boys from my main account so no fans have been able to dig through his followers to find who the mystery girl is.

matt and i rarely go out alone, always with his brothers or friends. there’s a small part of me that hurts that we decided to do this. not being able to spend time together in public without making things look very platonic, having to keep distance when we’re with friends who don’t know about us, or not being able to show my love openly for my boyfriend. i often turn down going to big events because i find them overwhelming, too loud, too many different things going on at once, it’s just too much for me especially when i can’t be with matt, my security blanket making me feel safe and comfortable.

it’s a blizzard outside, roads too icy for anyone to brace except those working. not to mention it’s the kind of cold that makes your nose hairs instantly feel frozen. using this weather to our advantage, matt and i carefully headed to our favorite little family run bakery down the road. one thing i hate is being cold. dressed in my comfiest thickest sweats, a fleece sweatshirt, a puffy jacket with a scarf just about covering my whole face you could hardly tell who i was, but i was warm and comfy.

we grab a table in the corner of the bakery decorated with warm christmas lights hung above the plush couch with a variety of plants aesthetically placed around the space. the atmosphere was beautiful, soft and gentle lighting, a fireplace adorned with christmas decorations and garland, instrumental music played quietly over the speakers, and to make it even better there wasn’t anyone in here other than the odd person that came in briefly here and there.

i leaned into matt’s side resting my head on his shoulder and his arm holding me closer to him. we sat there facing the large bay window soaking in the peace and beauty of the snow falling. we sat quietly in silence for a while before something out the window caught our eye. 2 teenage girls quickly putting their phones away once they saw us watching them, giggling as they ran away. 

“matt” my voice falters, worried about what might be posted.

“i know it’s okay try not to worry, im sure you can’t even tell it’s us through all that spray on snow on the window. plus you’re so bundled up you look like cousin itt. no one will recognize who you are and if they do, they do. it’s out of our control love,” he tries to reassure me. he pulls his phone out and take a photo of us. “see? we’re good don’t worry”.

“omg i do look like cousin itt” i giggled.

“whatever happens, happens okay? sure they’ll know we’re dating but that’s all they know. we can still keep our relationship private just like we are now nothing has to change. i mean is it so bad that they know? i can take you on proper dates without having to hide you. so what if people see us? they only see a sliver of our relationship, they’ll see us together but that’s all they know. they don’t know our favorite song, the moment i fell in love with you, how you fit right into our family, how much my parents love you, mom’s told me you’re like the daughter she’s always wanted, nick and chris love you, everyone does. so i don’t care if they see us together, they only see the outside of our relationship. i know without a doubt in my mind that i’m gonna marry you one day. what they know doesn’t affect our relationship. i love you pretty girl”.

“i didn’t know you had a thing for cousin itt” i giggled earning a nudge to my shoulder from matt at my lack of seriousness. “i’m kidding, you’re right they can see the outside of our relationship and make their own assumptions. all that matters is we know our relationship. i love you”.

squeezing me closer to his side he rests his head on mine planting kisses to my head. “who doesn’t have a thing for cousin itt?” he joked making me laugh.

“i can’t wait to marry that laugh”.

taglist:

@antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @ssturniolo @20nugs @abbie13sworld @strniolo @luvsturniolo

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #readers pov #not edited #not sure what the whole cousin itt thing is about. again this isn’t me writing

[wrenreid]

Do you take requests? I had a prompt to send in, but I wasn’t sure. I saw a fic for another fandom where the guy was having wet dreams in bed with y/n female reader and I thought it would be a great smut Spencer friends-to-lovers story. ❤️

Wildest Dreams

I haven’t before, but I’d love to take requests! Thank you:)

synopsis: Spencer Reid has a wet dream about his good friend and coworker. He’s highly embarrassed from where his unconscious mind wandered, so he avoids her. That is until she forces him to tell her what happened. When he does, her reaction is not what he expected. Had to add some angst because it’s who I am. Hope you like this! i hate my smut

content: 18+ MDNI, oral (m and f receiving), penetration

The team piles onto the jet after a long case. All of your faces read tired, especially Spencer’s. He plops down on the couch, something he has practically claimed as his own.

“Mind if I join you?” You ask him. “Can’t sleep on the seats.”

He scoots over, allowing space for you. Gratefully you sit down next to him, leaning your body the opposite way of his onto the arm of the couch.

Both of you are dead asleep within twenty minutes, which is highly unusual given your records of mild insomnia.

The two of you sleeping in such close proximity isn’t strange at all like one might think. You’ve been friends since you joined the BAU two years ago.

You started out as an assistant of sorts. You were still in the academy, but you were given the opportunity to work on real cases, just not in the field.

Spencer and you clicked that week since he was the only agent, other than the talented Penny Garcia, that you spent the most time with. He was off the field due to his injury from getting shot in the leg.

Watching his mind work was fascinating. It seemed like he knew everything, and honestly he kind of does. He taught you a lot that week, showing you how to apply all of the psychology and people-reading you’d learned in the academy. Being in the BAU with him was more beneficial than your classes at the academy.

You’re woken up to the sound of your own name. It’s coming from Spencer’s lips. He’s still asleep. You wake him up, worried he’s having another nightmare.

“Reid,” you say softly to not wake up the others. “Spencer. Hey, I’m right here.”

He stirs awake from your gentle shaking, his face beat red. “Y/n?” He sounds like he’s still partially asleep.

“Are you okay?” You ask him, voice still in a whisper. “Did you have another bad dream?”

Spencer shakes his head. Then he nods. He seems confused. Embarrassed.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t real,” you comfort him, patting his knee gently.

He pulls the blanket over his lap more, causing you to move your hand. “I know,” he sighs, nodding.

“We should be landing soon,” you say. “Maybe you’ll get better rest at home.”

Spencer shrugs slightly and turns his face away from you. You don’t take it to heart. You know how these dreams can be for him. Real. Terrifying. You know because you have them too.

When the plane touches ground and comes to a stop, all of you get off the plane gratefully. It’s late. Nearly 2 in the morning. Hotch tells everyone to get home safely.

“Do you want a ride?” You ask Spencer once both of you have your bags situated.

“I’ll just get a cab,” he tells you quickly.

“Really, it’s no problem,” you say, “It’s late.”

“It’s fine, Y/n.”

His voice has been clipped and distant for the last half hour. Why is he acting this way? It couldn’t have been something you did because you don’t remember doing anything.

Instead of fighting him on whatever it is that’s up his ass right now, you nod and walk to your car.

The two of you take turns driving sometimes. It saves gas money and allows you company on the 40ish minute drive from your neighborhood in D.C. to Quantico. You don’t live too far away from each other, only an 11 minute drive. It would’ve been no problem to take him home. But he opted for alone time. You guess you can’t blame him.

“Are you going out with us tonight?” You question your friend, rolling your chair to his desk.

“I don’t think so,” Spencer answers quickly.

“Why not? We haven’t had a team outing in ages. Let loose, Reid.”

“Y/n,” he warns.

“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “Movie night then?”

“Movie night?”

“Yeah. Just you and me. That new horror movie is on HBO now,” you wiggle your eyebrows, knowing his love for horror can persuade him.

“I don’t know,” Spencer says, pressing his lips together. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You don’t think what’s a good idea?” Your eyebrows raise.

The two of you have had movie nights multiple times in your two year friendship friendship.

“Just leave it alone, okay?” Spencer says, shrugging you off.

You don’t want to make a scene at work, so you roll your way back to your own desk and continue the paperwork from the last case.

Spencer has never acted this way toward you. Sure, he’s been secluded and reserved, but he’s never been one to shrug you off, to push you away.

Something is up. Something has made him close himself off. He can’t keep shutting you out like this, not without telling you why.

So after work, you try to catch him before he leaves. Unfortunately, Morgan decides to tell you and Emily a story, and Spencer slips out of the bullpen while you listen.

You’re a confrontational person. And your closest friend is avoiding you. This means one thing. You force him to tell you what’s up.

You knock on his door, not too loudly. He opens it after a few seconds.

“Y/n, what are you-?” He starts.

“What did I do?”

“What?” He huffs softly.

You fold your arms, standing in front of him with a serious face. “You’ve been avoiding me for days. I don’t know why, so tell me. What did I do to make you mad at me?”

Spencer’s face softens. “I’m not mad you.”

“Then why are you being so short with me? Why are you avoiding me? You’ve been a little bit of a dick.”

“I’m not avoiding you,” he says then pauses. “Okay, I’ve been avoiding you. But I’m done now. You’re right, it’s dickish.”

It’s always a little funny when Spencer curses. It never sounds natural.

“Why though?” You stay stern, needing to know what’s up with him.

“Come in,” he motions his head toward his living room.

You oblige, making your way to his couch. He sits beside you. You’ve been on this couch a thousand times together.

“So?” You question.

“You’re really going to make me say it?”

“Yes, I am,” you tell him.

Spencer sighs. “When we were on the couch the other night on the jet, I had a dream…”

“Yeah, I know that,” you say.

“It was about you.”

“Did something bad happen?”

He shakes his head. “Well, it depends on what you think is bad. We were in bed together.”

A laugh bursts through you. “Wait, you’ve been avoiding me because you had a wet dream about me?”

“Don’t call it that,” he groans.

“That’s what it is!” You chuckle, a big grin on your face. “That’s no big deal, Spence. It happens to people all the time. You have no control over what your unconscious mind conjures up.”

“So you’ve had one?” He asks.

“No.”

The blood has rushed to his cheeks deeply. He’s embarrassed.

“I haven’t thought about you like that in my sleep,” you tell him. “But perhaps I have while awake.”

Spencer lifts his head off the back of the couch. His eyebrows are furrowed. “What?”

It’s your turn to blush. “Yeah. I mean, the thought has occurred a few times.”

“I don’t quite know how to respond to that,” he presses his lips together.

It’s cute when he does that. It’s nerdy and shy.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly. “I just wanted you to know you’re not in the wrong for having a dream about me.”

The two of you have absentmindedly inched closer to each other. Your hand rests on his leg.

“Are you about to kiss me?” You ask, looking into his brown eyes.

“Only if you want me to,” he says.

“Show me what we did in your dream,” you whisper in his ear.

What happens next is not something you ever thought you and Spencer would do. You weren’t lying when you said you’ve thought about it, but you never thought he would’ve felt the same.

Your lips make contact softly at first, but his neediness takes over and his mouth dominates yours.

You always thought Spencer would be more of a gentle lover, but it turns out he’s an all consuming powerhouse.

He pulls you onto his lap, his hands squeezing your thighs and ass. He’s grown into himself well in the past year, and he’s definitely gotten more confident. You like this side of Spencer. A lot.

He tells you to lift your arms up, and you obey the order, eager for him to do more. Your shirt comes off quickly and his hands leave your ass and grab your tits. He’s not too rough, but he’s definitely not gentle.

You smile down at him before connecting your lips to his neck, careful to leave your marks in places he could easily hide under his clothes.

“Was I on top or bottom in your dream?” You ask, voice low and raspy.

“Both,” he answers, fingers working on the buttons of your pants.

You slide off of him and shimmy out of your work pants. You stand before him in mix matched underwear. He doesn’t care that they’re different colors. He wants them gone.

He lifts his shirt above his head and tosses it to the ground. “We should take this to my room. There’s not much space on the couch.”

“Yes sir. Or should I say doctor?” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“Yes, yes you should,” he grins, obviously liking the use of his title on your lips.

He follows you into his bedroom. You’ve laid in his bed on late nights multiple times. But he never shared it with you. He must’ve been too scared his true feelings would come out at night like they did on the jet.

“Lay down,” he says softly.

“I thought I would do something for you first,” you say, pulling him in by the belt loop.

“No need, sweetheart.”

“But I want to,” you tell him.

He nods. “As you wish.”

After slipping down his pants, you position yourself on your knees. He hands you a pillow so you don’t get sore. That makes you smile.

You take just the tip at first after running your thumb along it. After getting use to the feeling of him in your mouth, your head bobs up and down on him. Spencer’s hands tug on your hair as he finishes in your mouth.

“Your turn,” he says with a smile, looking down at you.

“If you please, doctor.”

His mouth is on your clit in no time. His tongue and lips work magic, causing you to call out his name.

“God, Spencer,” you whine, your hands tangled in his hair. It’s much shorter than it was when you met him, it makes him look older. In a good way.

With a combination of his fingers inside you and mouth working on your bundle of nerves, your legs are shaking and you’re finishing.

Spencer hardly gives you time to catch your breath before his lips are on yours and he’s hovering above you. You don’t mind. You need him.

“Are you ready, darling?” He asks.

When you say yes, he slowly slips himself inside you. He gentle at first, giving you both time to adjust.

His thrusts gradually speed up, and the slow and gentle turns into fast and rough. The sounds of your heavy breaths and moans fill his bedroom.

“Fuck, Y/n,” he groans, hand on your neck.

“Don’t stop,” you breathe out, wrapping your legs around his torso.

It doesn’t take much longer for you both to be moaning loud and shaking once again. You clench around him as you come, causing his own finish to release from him.

You bask in the high of the adrenaline coursing through your body. The two of you breathe heavily, your hearts pounding.

“Wow,” you sigh, moving your hair out of your face. “So, was that as good as your dream?”

“Much better,” Spencer says, rubbing your cheekbone with his thumb gently.

tags: @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @kylakins88 @jazzerbelle14 @cynbx @yazzyu @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @sebs-oxygen @jolotta @booktvmoviefangirl @nevielei @pauline5525mgg @necromaniackat @r3idsp3ncer @impossiblynoisywasteland @jazzerbelle14

#criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #mgg x you #spencer reid #mgg fic #spencer reid smut #mgg angst #spencer reid and reader #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid hands #spencer reid hair #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x original female character #spencer reid series #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #dilf spencerreid #criminal minds x y/n #mgg #spencer reid x fem!readr #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction

[gatheringbones]

[“There is this idea that turning points are clean and complete, but while my body seemed to want more of these experiences with Jane, my mind remained wary and confused. It was like a tug of war: one minute, I would buck against the dildo Jane held in her hand and the next I would push it out of me. I’d hover above Jane, careful to keep from resting even an ounce of my weight on her and then I’d suddenly plop down on her lap and grind down on her like a pestle. I’d thrill as Jane’s eyes roamed across my body and then I’d hear myself say, “Stop looking at me.”

For so long, I had dismissed the parts of me that wanted to be an object of desire, telling myself that my worth lay in the pleasure I gave to other women. And while I had squirmed against the butch label, that was perhaps because I also saw how I much I hid behind the swaggery, masculine aspects of it to keep myself safe from rejection. When I was suddenly faced with a person who actually wanted the soft, vulnerable—dare I say feminine—parts of me, who made me feel fuckable, it took time for the old stories to sieve their way out of me. And they never did completely. But as we kept having sex I began to feel relief instead of fear in giving up control. I began to appreciate the space it afforded me to start paying attention to what made my body feel good and not just my partner’s. I also began to see how femininity and objectification held their own power. There is something so emboldening about holding a lover’s gaze, about allowing them inside the deepest parts of you. And even when you are “the bottom” there is a constant dance of consent and choice being navigated between you and your partner. Understanding this made me a better lover when I was topping too.

It is not as if being fucked with one big dick a few times made me comfortable with the fluidity of my gender and of my sexual desires, but as Jane and I continued to stretch each other’s boundaries inside of a monogamous, trusting relationship, and my adult friends embraced the sex we were having, I started to experiment with my body in other ways. I asked Jane to show me how to apply my own lipstick and eyeliner. I started wearing dresses and heels, first to fancy occasions and then, sometimes, just because. I stopped pretending I always knew what people were talking about and discovered the joy of learning what was on the other side of an admission of not knowing. Jane changed too. She bought ripped jeans and T-shirts. She cut her hair short. She became more assertive and direct, eventually coming out to her parents. Once Jane and I realized we could actually inhabit the things we were attracted to in the other person, that it wouldn’t compromise what was already there, we also became kinder to each other because we stopped needing the other person to be a certain way in order to feel complete.

After two years, Jane and I broke up. It was painful, not devastating. We hadn’t hidden or twisted our desires with each other, so when we couldn’t meet them, it didn’t feel like a rejection of who I was but rather an indication that we had simply changed as much as we could together, and whatever else we were changing into, we had to change with other people, and perhaps, more importantly, on our own.”]

amy gall, from my dick, your dick, our dick, from wanting: women writing about desire, 2023

#amy gall #lesbian literature #gender stuff #currently reading #saint vallous

[roseapov]

Freedom of choice

Venti/Barbatos x GN!Reader

The warning: Mentions of obsession, imprisioning in a sleep, manipulation, use of divine powers

Spoilers to Mondstadt Main Story

Povtober 2023, Day 8 [Masterlist]

Barbatos first met you, when Dvalin was corrupted by the Abyss. He was searching for his dragon friend to help him, when he saw another person, you. You were tending to dragons wounds and he seemed totally calm around you, unlike for the others where he acted hostile.

It immediately picked his interest, as he chose to hide and observe you for a little longer. He felt an invisible force drawing him to you, yet he decided to ignore it, to watch you longer whilst ignoring the painful sting in his heart.

When you entered the city for the first time, he planned your meeting to be as charming as possible, to lure you in and tell him all your secrets. The white pigeons surrounded him whilst he played his lyre, under a big statue of the Anemo Archon - Barbatos.

He instantly caught your eye, and he seemed to brighten even more for his crowd. After his performance he didn't wait for any applause like usual, but instead went straight to you.

You were so.. you, he never met someone like you before, so please, let him write a poem for you.

He quickly got charmed by you, firstly as a Barbatos and secondly as Venti.

Yet, he never told you about his feelings, no no, he wouldn't dare to. What if you would feel pressured to answer him and say yes, but don't even mean it? He can't have that, as a God of Freedom it's against his principles. That's why he found another solution.

As fast as he barged into your life, then as fast he made himself comfortable and at home, right by your side. You also couldn't help but start to feel comfortable around that goofy bard, which led you to trust him with all your heart, as he became your safe space.

But once you fell asleep on his lap, it was over. He wouldn't pressure you into doing anything, and yet he still created an alternative reality for you. A cage with the illusion of freedom, BUT it still had freedom, so everything was fine for him.

A reality, where you could do whatever you want, without the risk of being in danger. Despite the other people acting weird to you, you never really questioned it as Venti was always by your side, travelling the world with you, averting your attention from everyone else.

You never got bothered by your fuzzy memories, not when you have a companion who can make you feel better in an instant.

He never told you, yet he used his divine powers to stop your time, and took your consciousness into a place that never met the threats of the time.

When you finally fell in love with him, and was willing to stay with him forever only then he ended the sleep, but in a way that you never knew you were in a sleep at all.

He manipulated you and the situation into making you believe that yesterday you confessed to him in the Stormterror's lair, and he graciously accepted it. You both were on your way home, and this is where playing with this fake reality ended.

When you woke up in your bed in the next morning, you were in a real world again, but it's not like you knew about it anyway.

Venti looked just the same as 'yesterday', but why did everyone else look much older? Did you missed something? Why does the Mondstadt look different? You didn't know, but thinking about it was giving you deadly migraines.

Your new lover was now happily comforting and massaging you, knowing that you chose him from everyone else with your own freedom of choice.

He's so glad you decided to offer him all your freedom, to him, to your God. Oh you didn't? Not yet then.

What was he mumbling about? Oh, don't mind it, it wasn't important anyway.

First fic with Genshin Impact characters in Povtober 2023 AND in total. That's a great feat Venti💚 It was really hard to find his pic that would show his personality as both Venti and Barbatos, but I think I managed it well💚 If this work have any grammar mistakes, I'm going to fix them this weekend, See you soon 🔜

~roseapov

#povtoberroseapov2023 #povtoberroseapov #povtoberroseapov23 #povtober2023 #povtober23 #povtober roseapov #povtober roseapov2023 #povtober roseapov23 #roseapov #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #venti #venti genshin #venti genshin impact #obsessed venti x reader #obsessed venti #yandere venti #yandere #obsession #barbatos #new writer boost #new writers society #hoyoverse #mihoyo #anemo archon #genshin #genshin x reader #venti x reader

[qvrcll]

college melodrama — V.

summary: ellie survives with a bruised lip and a throbbing pain that keeps her awake in her own bed. abby is elsewhere and of little care to you — you are beside ellie and nursing her wounds. tender touches lead to tenderer tellings and something worth recalling, perhaps.

warnings: injuries mentioned, food / medicine mentioned, just fluff, some angst but let’s be honest, it will be drowned out by the fluff 🫶🏽

a/n: part five and can i just say… THE POLL RESULTS ARE MAKING ME CREASEEEE. we love to see it! i love ya abby but you went too far… also my old divider stopped working for some odd reason :( + sorry for the slow updates, life has been brutally interruptive. anyhow, hope you enjoy this :-]

You’re tapping your feet anxiously beside the cotton of Ellie’s comforter the next time Dina checks in. Some part of you jumps from the familiar sound of the notification, but you put your good faith in Dina. You’re still shaken from the party’s brutal givings — besides Ellie’s bruised lip and cruddy looking jaw, the fight had taken flame amongst the entire college. From videos to whispers, you can feel the tension tenfold when you enter a room. People are nice enough to ask how Ellie is, but not nice enough to keep their eyes from telling.

You’d left her room when the messages rolled in, so it was safe to say that Ellie couldn’t hear the squelch of your heart playing in your throat right now. She couldn’t hear the deafening plea in your lungs drying the substance there, robbing it of the air that was. But she’s quick to realise, quick to ease you of your worries. You feel stupid, feel bad for even being upset but seeing her this battered and bruised hurt the world beneath your eyelids.

She knows all the right things to say and you’re really too hopeless to stay this way. You realise you’re unknowingly blaming Ellie for what’s transpired and make quick work of assuring her that no, it’s not her. It’s you and your dumb, full, thudding heart that is tipping over depravity. For her. But Ellie’s message makes you stop, makes you think. Makes your fingers shake as she loses her mind over her own recklessness with her feelings.

This is tipping close into uncharted territory. Into something of a ruse or something… warm and blanketed. Into something you’ve both hidden. But you’re not sure and Ellie is second guessing every bit of your letters, words, sentences. She’d rather have a shockwave plummet her to death than to lose you to her feelings. But if you were to be the same, she’d only dare to fall, no?

It’s an easy route to her dorm room. With her injury, prone to Abby, it had been a frequent endeavour and now, you were quite literally soaring through different altitudes. Savouring sweeter tastes. Hoping for something you’re sure you haven’t lost your mind to gain.

“Ellie?” your hand is on the door knob and the creaky, old thing flits back to allow you some space inside.

I’ve done this before, so many times. Why is it so much harder now?

“Y/N?” her voice comes softer, like the feel of peeled tangerines, in the commodity of her humble dorm. As you glance up, she’s standing in her flannel jacket, comfortable and so much like the reason as to why your heart is unrelenting in this very moment. But you can’t do this without surety — can’t do this without reason and lose half your mind with it too.

You step forward. It’s the right thing to do. You convince yourself that much, and whatever truth there is in that, is only helping you steer clear of what’s… meant to be yours, “You feel any better?”

“Y… Yeah. Totally. See,” she points ardently to the flesh that has begin to heal against her lip, “Already good. On the way… to be good, I hope.”

This is endearing, you think.

“And good, you will be, Ellie,” you reply, feet lambent against her floors, as you take her hands in yours in a complete show of camaraderie. But underneath the flesh and bone of it all, there’s something raw and pulsing there. Something alive and aware of consequences. Aware of a few of things. Curious of a lot more.

Curious of her hands.

Curious of her lips.

Curious of the row of hairs above her neck.

And of so, so much more.

“Is there… something else… you wanna say?” she suddenly asks. Rips the breath out of your lungs as her hands work to shield yours in some tight grip. Certainly not camaraderie. It’s something sacred in a nuanced sense; a telling? Or maybe one of her hidden shows of affections? But you need to try. Have to.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“When have I, Ellie, ever been wrong?”

“Dickhead. I won’t tell you now.”

“No, wait, hey! I’m sorry!”

You purse your lips, bite and swallow and throw away the smile that burdens them. But a ghost of it remains anyhow and she’s teeming with hope too, you see now. Something illusive made seen with her curiosity. She’s twice as nervous and holding you tighter and… leaning in.

Fuck.

Your lips meet slower than expected. Your nose budges against her cheek. Her teeth taste like oranges and medicine and raw, hot, scary love. Her hands are in your hair and you push the speed of them to match her—

“Ow. Ouch,” she bites her groans of pain, still holding you close. You shudder, afraid suddenly of the truth that she’s still not fully healed, “My lip… it’s just…”

“I’m so sorry—“

“Don’t be. Please?” she whines and her eyes are pouring into yours and you see her past the line you’ve always drawn between the two of you. It disappears till you can no longer smell it in the air anymore. Nothing to stop you anymore. Nothing to be afraid of anymore.

“Okay. Okay,” you laugh against the flannel of her shirt and she coughs out a laugh, the light in her smile, “but you’re going back to bed! Heal, first. Kiss me later?”

“Mmm. Promise you won’t leave?”

“When have I ever?”

“Right” her spit of auburn hair seeps against her ears and despite your words, her lips cut the skin of your cheek anyways. Light, airy, yet leaving with the air of your lungs. You curse comically as she laughs, exits to her room, and you’re doing your best to follow when suddenly…

You hadn’t blocked her. Everything is redrawn and spilt in red. Anger, confusion and curiosity is alive in you when suddenly you become aware. Aware of your buzzing phone. Aware of the back of Ellie’s figure as she retreats to bed. Aware that whatever has started has yet to be resolved.

THE DECISION IS UP TO YOU: YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

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