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hearts4juzi · 5 months

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I honestly hate how the fandom treats Michael as a hero and I'm seeing posts about it so I feel a liiiittle better talkign about it

my moots are holding back, i can tell. but hes my favorite so im not. and im a little pissed writing this bc. bc i relate to cc a lot. and seeing ppl mischaracterize not only my favorite character but also someone who reminds me of people who fucking suck drives me INSANE.

so psa, im pissed as fuck and i love michael afton.

First off, he killed Evan. That's obvious. Not only was that literall 100% his fault (NOT WILLIAMS IT PISSES ME OFF WHEN PPL MAKE THAT ALL ABOUT WILLIAM SHUT THE FUVCK UP

he was a bully. yeah he was a kid. yeah he was messing with him. Have you considered he was literally. abusive to his brother. i know the fnaf fandom is scared of using that word to describe him but its fucking true. he was abusive. as fuck. that was awful what he did he wasnt just a bully he harassed him and literally locked him in his room. he was fucking horrible.

and yeah, he didnt mean for that to happen, but not only was that stupid as fuck, i hate any interpritation of "he wanted to be like his dad" "his friends coerced him" PLAY FNAF 4. PLAY FNAF 4. FUCKING PLAY FNAF 4 LOOK AT HIS DIALOGUE AND WHAT HE DOES

HE LITERALLY. EGGED IT ON. IT WAS HIS FUCKING IDEA. WHAT PART OF THAT GAVE "he was coerced" THUSHFUDFUDSIOFDUSOFDSIOS

im trying to be normal

Yeah he probably felt like shit after. yeah it probably was some sort of motivator behind his actions. but lets think. lets think.

fnaf 1 and 2 take place before SL, no? So. if thats true. why didnt he burn those down? to "free the souls?" because it was never about the children.

he burned down the fnaf 3 location to get rid of william. it was ALWAYS abotu william. sure he set the kids free but i reeeeaaallyy dont think that was his intention. it was always about william.

in sister location, did he go there out of the kindness of his heart? no he went there because william asked him too. it was ALWAYS about william. and yeah he probably wanted to help liz, he probably really wanted to help her, but based on his actions, was this really for her? or was it for closure

thats something about michael that i put in shitty brother. closure. he didnt actually want to reconcile with his family, he wanted closure on the guilt he felt. is that 100% wrong? no. its normal to want closure, especially after something like that. but also that should not be his goal

did he apologize? yes. he said sorry. he felt bad, sure. but when you kill someone tehy dont come back. evan deserves to never forgive him ever because that was dumb as fuck and HORRIBLE. IT WAS HORRIBLE. ABUSIVE. ILL SAY IT AGAIN

MICHAEL AFTON ABUSED HIS LITTLE BROTHER FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

yeah. abused. say it with me. A-B-U-S-E-D

not just bullied, not just harassed, ABUSED.

ik we're all scared to say it here but its fucking true. say it with ur chest.

this always came back to william. do i thinkk michael is unfeeling and doesnt care about his siblings at all? NO! I think his siblings drove a lot of his actions. but in the end i dont think he always acted with their best interest at heart. or the mci kids'

and the whole "he wanted to be like his dad" i dont fucking care actually. no seriously sit down beside me and tell me that wanting to be like his dad is an excuse for abusing his brother. seriously come closer i wont bite.

tell me how you think that AS A TEENAGER, 100% AWARE OF HIS ACTIONS, that wanting to be like his dad justifies abusing his little brother. his little brother. who as far as we know, never lashed out, never fought back, never did anything to him. tell me how he fucking deserved that

"Michael was just a kid!" so was Evan. So was Elizabeth. So was Cassidy and Charlie and all the kids who died.

tell me how much michael did that didnt revolve around closure and his father. like i get it, he had priorities, but can we please stop acting like he's some angel working for the greater good of everyone.

it feelslike how ppl treat fucking henry. NO HES NOT A GOOD PERSON PLEASE

MICHAEL IS SELFISH HE'S MESSY HE'S STUPID. HE MAKES BAD CHOICES IN FAVOR OF HIMSELF HE PRIORITIZES REVENGE OVER THE GREATER GOOD HE HURTS PEOPLE AND IT MAKES HIM SO MUHC MORE INTERESTING

oh and also in case anybody wants to pull dittophobia out and tell me how mike went thru that trauma

so did evan. and instead of bonding over that trauma, michael harassed him. ABUSED HIM. wording is important. im sorry for repeating myself so much, but nobody ever tells it how it is. it was abuse.

edit: People seem upset by my wording and honestly? fair. i couldve worded this a lot better but i was tired and irritated and one thing i will clarify

i dont care if u dont see adult michael the way i do. i see him as a selfish obsessive guy whos intent is to fix his family, but plenty of people see it differently and thats okay! /gen

but im not taking back anythign i said about teen michael. because i think to do that is unfair to his character and frankly bullshit. i think its bullshit. and i dont care if you disagree. he was a terrible brother and thats that

but adult mike is free real estate idk idrc abt him as much as teen mike.

#tzu rambles #fnaf #michael afton #fnaf 4 #not tagging discourse bc i dont think this is discourse lol. just my thoughts

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crowcryptid · 8 months

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A bad tutorial on how to rip the models + animations from ultrakill and put them in blender

Note: Im using a blender addon to import the models, this is because fbx import is kinda broken by default in blender. The addon Im using is called better fbx importer and exporter. Its paid, but there are other ways to get it. Try without the addon first. If it doesnt work, DM me for a link.

This is NOT a blender tutorial. k? pls dont ask me blender questions.

You will need: Blender (free), AssetStudio (free), and if you want to make gifs, some sort of program like photoshop. I'm not explaining how to render things or make gifs.

ok. Begin.

Go to your install of ultrakill and copy the file path.

Open asset studio and click LOAD FOLDER. Not any of the other ones. Paste the path to your ultrakill FOLDER. Not any of the folders inside that folder, just use the whole thing. Then. Wait. If you dont have enough ram, this wont work. If your pc isnt great this will probably freeze up. If that happens, sorry not much I can do.

Once its all loaded, go to "asset list", then under filter type select "animator" and "animationclip". Search for what model you want. In this case, theres a lot. I dont remember which one i used but most of them should work. Some may have extra stuff attached, like swords.

right click the animator and click "go to scene hierarchy"

Select it. Again, this isn't a blender tut so the model you grab may be incomplete, for ex: sisyphus and minos have separate parts for their hearts/veins and sisyphus has a unique head made of 3 parts. Im sorry I wont be explaining all that :p This is just a basic guide. Experiment and you'll get it eventually.

BTW you can grab his weapon models but I havent figured out how to include them with the animations yet. If its even possible, idk.

Now for the annoying part. Finding the animation. If you just search for gabriel, you'll notice only 3 come up. I suggest sorting only by "animationclip" (do not use the search bar) and trying to find one. If you grab an animation for someone else, it wont work. This is just trial and error. For ease, I will be using the one called ZweiCombo (not ZweiDash despite the pic, i fucked up lol), I know this one belongs to gabe cause he is the only one with swords, well besides swordsmachine but you get what I mean..

Ok, now create a folder somewhere and name it.

Under model, use "export selected objects (merge) + selected animationclips" and export it all to the folder you made.

Now open blender and import the fbx file. If you press spacebar you should see something move. If it doesnt work then um.. you either grabbed the wrong animation, wrong model, or the fbx import got fucked. Trial and error. The textures also may be missing but again, this is not a blender tutorial. You can search that up, but to find textures if they didnt export at all, use filter type "texture2d" and search the character, you should be able to find all their textures. Some exceptions tho. For ex: gabes wings are named like "t_wings.png"

done :]

There are other ways to grab the model, by grabbing the "mesh" not the "animator". I think works both ways, as far as I can tell?

EDIT: Forgot to mention that, as far as I know, you can only have 1 animation attached to the model you exported. This is why we made a folder. So if you want 5 animations from the same character, create 5 folders and export the model 5 times with a different animation selected each time. If an animation doesn’t work, I recommend just deleting everything you exported and starting again.

#ultrakill #long post #worlds shittiest tutorial 👍

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henrysglock · 1 year

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Am I missing something? Why do people keep ''theorizing'' that Henry took Will to the Upside Down when literally it is all very clear that it was Henry? Who has the power of telekinesis to capture Will like that aside from Henry himself? the Demogorgon cannot do it, the MF cannot do it AS IT DIDNT EVEN SHOW UP until S2 anyway. It literally couldn't reach or do anything and it doesn't have telekinesis powers so... who would have done it besides Henry?

We see the lights flicker at the Wheeler's house the moment Will starts to bike away. We see that the TV at the Wheelers house doesn't work which are all effects of telekinesis. So, what is there to theorize or deny?

We see Will running to the shed, there the shed's door unlocks by itself. I see people saying that it was El who did it. Which doesnt make any sense. If El did open the door, then who did capture Will to the UD after the light at the light at the shed shone like crazy and then Will disappeared out of thin air? Even if El did unlock the door and then got scared and ran away, who flickered those lights at the Wheeler house and broke the TV?

''the MF obviously must have done it, he is the main villain actually and he is the one who was following Will it has nothing to do with Henry'' WHAT are you saying now??? the MF literally doesn't have the power of telekinesis, and it didnt even appear and couldnt reach the Rightside Up until S2.

''the lab must have done it.'' So, is Will hallucinating? If the lab did it, who did those telekinesis stuff like lights flickering, the TV not working, the door of the shed being unlocked, the light shining like crazy and the Will disappearing out of thin air and ending up in the UD? When would the lab have 'drugged' Will?

''It must be El or Will from the future that meddles the situation'' HOW??? Not only that is misunderstanding the ''time is stuck'' thing, but it doesnt make any sense??? the time isn't 'stuck' in the UD. It just looks like November 6.... it is about how it looks like / is shaped. The characters do not affect the past events from the future. THAT is NOT what happened in S4. When characters flicker the lights (the teenagers) to alert the other characters, it happens in the present time. They are NOT affecting the past. I think people didn't understand this and that is why they keep saying there is time loop, or time travel fuckery stuff going on. But it's not about that. The UD isnt stuck in the past in the literal sense. It just looks like past because someone (Will prob) shaped it to look like November 6. It is not stuck in time in actual sense.....

Like, I just... dont get it. I mean theorizing is good and all, but when it comes to a point where people just ignore and deny the canon evidence, and the points and clear stuff that have been shown.... it just kind becomes being obtuse on purpose. Just like the ''MF is actually the big bad actually lol he is the real mastermind lol'' argument. Like it just...... doesnt make any sense from the way the show portrayed things. Please.

Besides all of this, WILL literally (the one with the actual experience) say that it has been Henry all along... and people say he is just an unrealiable narrator. Not only that is misunderstanding what ''unrealiable narrator'' means, it also is literally discrediting a character's lived experience and knowledge. That shit doesnt make any sense when people believe in Dustin's words that he said before the big reveal that came after..... so we are to believe that Dustin is the Reliable Narrator, but Henry, Will, El and Brenner are NOT??? WHAT THE FUCK are you talking about???

Anyways I am done lol. It was a nice ride to just speak these out bc I am just tired lol.

You’re so right for this, esp on the big bad/s1 arc stuff.

I don’t know shit about the UD vs time thing really, so I won’t speak on it.

But everything else? So true.

There’s no way it can be anyone but Henry atp. idk. Will says it was Henry. He knows the Mindflayer, and he’s known it since s2. It’s not a reveal anymore. Henry is.

But sure DnD is gospel even though it’s literally said in the show that “this isn’t DnD, this is real life”. DnD is just the framework the kids use to process traumatic experiences that they can’t fully comprehend.

Dustin doesn’t know shit about what happens in the UD until the end of s4. Will does. Thus, we believe Will over Dustin. It’s really not that hard.

Will has no reason to be suspected of lying about his experiences, intentional or otherwise. By this point he knows the difference between the Mindflayer, Henry, and a demogorgon. Also, Henry’s POV is a flashback, and flashbacks haven’t lied to us before. Why would they start now?

Henry and Will escape the unreliable narrator allegations about the UD.

It’s tiring and frustrating, Anon, I feel you. Especially for people like me who have been in Will’s situation, it’s hard to not fly off the handle about him being dismissed and not trusted to describe his own trauma.

#asks #henry/vecna/001 #will byers

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frankiistein · 9 months

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as for bien, i think the attachment he has to bon and his inability to cope with the idea of bon being disappointed in him that he goes on his impractical plan of erasing the symbols of bons trauma and even banding with suspicious strangers who mistreat him if it helps him get The Enemy is even more sadder when you consider that bon wasnt always cold to bien.

bien doesnt know anybody else living in exile, so to see the only person you know start from being so caring and warm to gradually start ignoring you, it hurts alot and i dont think bien understands "why" that happened, so he thinks he has to do something to "fix" it

at first bien was kinda a boring character to me, because he doesnt show much of his intentions or personality. his goals is so impractical and weird that it looked like a joke to me at first, like a quirky "lol look at how stupid bien is". he doesnt express his feelings besides confusion, even when he questiond ava its not to go against her, just to want her to clarify things more. from the getgo bien looks like a character pushed around by the plot without agency of his own

i think i1p5 is what made me try to analyze his character more because of this one interaction, where sar says bien is a quiet person and bien says "my father says i shouldnt talk too much" (or smthg like that)

i think bon always being portrayed as sympathetic gives a tendency to oversimplify character relations, bon is a "good" character so they have "good" actions or at least the bad ones always get adequately addressed. bon being raised somewhat by jacques (nice but neglectful) and media (... media) also has the tendency to compare then, bon is better than those two so its easy to forget that doesnt mean they cant negatively effect bien

biens submissive nature feels less boring to me now when you contextualize it as his bargaining measure to get love and attention from other people especially because for most of his life there was only one person available to get love from. most people understands the people pleasing tendency but it becomes more amplified considering his circumstances - if he cant get along with bon, he has nobody, and he would still be stuck with bon either way.

so bien is conditioned to always find bon agreeable, and this tendency shows up in how he relates to ava and sar. maybe at most he can be a little snarky or frustrated but he never explicitly disagrees with people even when he obvi doesnt like/trust those people. i think its notable even when bien expresses frustration for bon mocking his intelligence, he doesnt say it to mean like "my father says untrue things to insult me" but instead like "if i wasnt so stupid maybe he wouldnt have done that." he regards his own incompetence with apathy because he thinks of it as a fact of life, and every person who influences him agrees.

i think much of the tension in bon and bien started when bien started to have violent tendencies, which is implied to be normal for their species. so i think bien then thinks that you deserve "love" by learning to control yourself and by being obedient, he doesnt have goals to become smarter or stronger or better because he believes the only thing that works to get what he wants is to comply with whats expected of him.

his illogical plan then makes more sense when you think of it not only as a way to "avenge" bon but a way for "making up" for killing all those people? we dont know what a "war" is like in maldevara or what its even for (i think the marginals arent likely to want or need war? idk why but it feels at odds with the rest of the story so the "war" must have some hidden purpose, its implued wars are an angel thing iirc since bien gets recruited by angels in tyam mv) so there may be a hidden plot twist for it later, but i think bien "lashing out" by doing the one thing bon told him not to do started out as a way of claiming some freedom for himself, but when that didnt do anything to make him feel fulfilled, he went back to clamoring for his father's love.

finally, we havent seen lots of what bons time as a celebrity was like but they give me vibes like annie from skullgirls, like a positive role model type who encourages good moral values in the audience. its aligned to what media would expect and is the perfect contrast to the stereotype of demons being immoral killing machines

i think that also adds another layer to bien obsessing over bon and their merch/media: not only is it a way for him to learn about bon and connect with him, this is a version of bon who probably says good and encouraging messages (and also, as a propaganda machine, this version of bon probably also stresses some form of adherence to authority which might cement biens obedience further, because even "nice" bon tells him about the importance of obedience)

honestly they have meaningful names considering all that, with bon and bien both meaning "good". at first glance its ironic to the idea of what demons are like, but looking at it deeper (especially in a story where names are treated as an important thing) its almost as if dooming both of them to have their life's meaning to be "good" people, with "goodness" defined by the authorities around them.

biens introductory chapter being titled "good", his bonus comic being "be good" and sar speaking those exact words right as hes about to brainwash him is alot more meaningful in that sense. biens passivity is less boring and looks less like a side effect of him being sidelined for The Löre when you see bien as a person who is treated as, and sees himself as, the embodiment of Being A Good (Obedient) Son

and its interesting that bon is bon and bien is bien, that is, bon is an adjective and bien is an adverb. idk if its intentional but its reflective of how bien looks at the two of them: bons "goodness" is bons nature, they do not have to "be" good, they simply ARE good. biens "goodness" on the other hand is dependent on his actions, he cannot be "good" unless he chooses to BE good, it is something that his father simply is as a descriptor of his personality but that something bien can only be as an assessment of his actions, "goodness" is something that he consciously needs to "earn".

#breadavota #cont of last post kinda

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icharchivist · 9 months

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Of course we could consider that Belial's loyalty was programmed into him, but tbh that makes me sad, so let's not go with that. The thought that he was made to be ignored and used is just sad, because he can't help it. The thought that he did it to himself because this is a hell of his own choosing is slightly better, because that means one day he can maybe choose something else.

Besides, WMTSB as a whole is about free will and choices

I can accept that Lucilius added this proclivity to get attached and be incredibly loyal to Belial because it's one of Sahar's attributes that he put on the trash pile, but Belial still chose Lucilius to get attached to. That might be motivated by how he watched Lucifer get treated with favoritism and yearned for that himself, but that's neither here nor there.

But Belial being literally made to desperately love Lucilius is just cruel. And I wouldn't put it beyond Lucilius to essentially create a sentient sex toy who's yearning to be used, only to not use it, ever. But like I said, it's sad. And he seems so genuinely annoyed by it sometimes that I don't think he expected it to get quite so bad. Sure, it would be funny if he created Belial this way and then got upset at his creation doing what he made him to do, there's some irony in there, a bit of "hoist by his own petard".

But I choose to believe that, since we established Lucilius already put so much into Lucifer and Belial, like their evolution purposes, the Sahar stuff and them also needing to fill in for the wedges of light and dark and life and death... They're already serving quadruple duty, I don't think he thought to also add "Loves me desperately" to one of them. Least of all the one that wasn't his clone, y'know.

Yeah i agree honestly. I think with the themes of wmtsb and the irony of Belial saying he doesn't have a choice while he chose to live like that, it's important for Belial's obsession to be his own, not something he was programmed to be. Because it means he always had a way out, he just chose not to.

And it is also more realistic. Because yeah this type of neglect and abuse can lead to be, instead, clinging even more to the one who is making you suffer. Because people don't always cope well with what happens to them.

Especialy since he serves of contrast to Sandalphon and how Lucilius neglected him as well, but how Sandalphon instead worked to break free and find something for himself. They contrast each other in the way they were neglected and used by Lucilius. And it has more weight if they have the same level of free will in this decision.

I do think there is still this idea of the sides of Sahar Lucilius tried to get rid off, that ended up being directed at him. But maybe we can take it as more metaphoric or like, just something that Belial was naturally more susceptible to do because of other attributes, and that it is because Belial developed as his own person that he naturally reproduced this patern from Sahar, without it being literally programmed by Lucilius. Esp as you say, with how Belial could just compare how he was treated differently in order to really have everything alligning for an unhealthy devotion to form.

Also honestly Lucilius creati g a sex toy just in case only to disregard him because he realizes he has no use for him is. Not unlikely. After all, creating something just to make it just in case and discarding it when in faft there was no use to it, js what he did to Sandalphon. I doubt he freated Belial for that tho, but the idea of implemanting something like that in case before realizing he doesnt need it is possible. Thk i reallh do believe Belial's sex characteristics were more another thing that developped organically without much input from Lucilius other than just normal development from socilizjng with someone.

As for Sahar i do think it was something that was so vague to Lucilius thag, perhaps the separation of values was a bit subconscious, like, Lucilius didnt genuinely think of Sahar as a being and his qualities as solid things and stuff. If it makes sense.

But yeah i genuinely think it was more the circumstances of Belial's life and being starved for affection especially from seeing how loved his twin was, like a regular person, that shapped him to what he is today, rather than Lucilius programming all of that directly.

Giving Belial more agecncy so he can screw his own life up on his own terms.

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #anonymous

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hella1975 · 1 year

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:)))))))))))))))

List anon <3

Finally got around to reading Tams chapter 3 so heres that.

I didnt send in a thing for chapter 2 (i cant remember why) but I think I like Lihua. Unless you want to kill her or something in that case i hate her and am determined to not grow attached.

You also might just have the perspective abandon her. But I think Id be able to cope with that.

Not necessarily something that just now occured to me but just something that my mind prompted, I like how in this Zuko is immediately taught that he was like very sheltered. And how theres this big population of people who dont have a choice but to make bad decisions just so themselves and their families to survive.

Yeah I like her. Please dont kill her Im begging you

If you dont kill her ill ko fi you like 4 dollars (pounds??? i dont feel like adjusting my terminology right now)

idk if you remember but a few months ago you were complaining that you were really sick or something and you got an ask saying that they tried to send you i think 2 dollars if you would go to the e.r but their ko fi wasnt working. That was me and i got my ko fi to work and i am NOT above bribing you. Just saying.

Lihua reminds me of a delinquet Jin.

Azulas being imprisoned. That is DEFINETLY probably not going to lead to anything interestgin

Well theres Zhao

Well she was recognized

God shes so smart I love her so much shes figurively playing dumbass Zhao like a fiddle.

"The only reason she had for leaving it was because she knew that Zuko knew she wouldn’t leave it unless something awful had happened. This was a message. People were behind this, and that could only mean one thing." Taob parrelel thing?? Like when Zuko left one of his swords for Hakoda. Not sure if this was intentional or not but its a nice touch.

"Azula had figured out a plan before Zhao had even left her cell" Of course she had. Shes amazing i love her.

Is her Fire bending still orange????? Nice

I like how Azula still resents Ursa

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOKKA AND KATARA YES I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS

I think its funny that Zuko thinks Sokkas judging him because of his scar (which theres a small possiblity he doesnt know the symbolism for, I dont know i havent read that far yet) and not judging him because hes a firebender like he just exclaimed like dude OBVIOUSLY they are a tad bit distraught by firebending and bros just like "nah its because of my scar.

okay now hes catching on

Zukos so confused right now

Hes got a lot to take in take your time pal

"“Actually,” Zuko frowned, “I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to Azula. “Well?”" Zukos attitude towards Sokka is so funny. "Its not like zukos going to be intimidated by a whelp like him", Stfu Zuko you were just unsettled by his stare like three paragraphs ago. You have a specific post I keep seeing on pinterest, (and i saw it on facebook one time, that was surreal,) (im pretty sure its you) its the one where its like enemy to lover fics are so funny because the tags are right there or something along those lines. This is giving those vibes. Like he might be unsettled by Sokka now but just wait like 15 chapters when hes REALLY going to be unsettled by him but this time the unsettledness is gay panic so.

I completely forgot about Iroh. Whats he up to nowadays?

"“Besides, Zuko just took out like ten soldiers by himself. I'm sticking with him until we get out of here.”" Im taking this as flirting you cant change my mind.

Wait is this fic even Zukka? *checks* yes it is, okay.

So Sokka is flirting, what next?

Now Azulas pov is acknowedging the difference between the real world and the palace, nice.

I cant remember if this was acknowledged in one of the other chapters or not. If so, oh well.

sOKKA Quit staring at him you dumb gay

Look at Sokka flirting. "Your not what I was expecting" Might as well tell him hes not like the other girls also you werent expecting a hot and mysterious twink in a fire nation strong hold? Be a lot weirder if he was expecting that tbh.

I like how hes asking Aangs consent to put him in a fake hostage situation.

"I'd be honored hotman" See Sokka, even aang will acknowledge that hes hot.

Aw shit Lihua might die

Okay Im done reading it.

This was such a good chapter. I loved it so much, your doing amazing.

I cant put into words how excited I am for the rest of this series.

I mentioned in one of the taob asks that Im really picky about how people write Azula, and Ive already talked about how much i love how you write Zuko, so its Azulas turn now.

First of all (of the stuff I read anyways) Azulas pov arent written enough.

And the ones there are its even more rare that she actually has like,,, a personality???

like Shes always so robotic and uncomplex in some fics and I cant put into words how refreshing it is to get a change in that. Like this is the first fic ive ever read that I dont absolutely dread Azula povs.

(I feel the need to say whenever I compare taob to other fics in these I'm never intending to put the other authors down, im just stating the differences in my specific preferences. Like im all for writers doing what they want in their fics, but the way you write align so well with what i like to read its uncanny sometimes)

Azula is such a difficult character, and you write her so well. Youre phenomenal, I love it.

Like shes by far my favorite thing about this so far.

I love her and Zukos dedication and codependancy. And also how well they ended up being able to read each other and how well they flow with each other. Its so different from their cannon relationship.

I think they should have let you write the comics.

Isnt there a new Azula comic coming out soon??????????/ They should let you write it. Your amazing with her.

You capture the complexity of their relationship so well, and like acknowledging how strained and toxic they were at the palace vs now, its so good, I love it so much.

My second favorite thing about tams, like i mentioned, is all of Sokka and Zukos interactions. They were so funny and honestly had me cackling.

I liked the whole 'Azula and Sokka are similar and so are Katara and Zuko' thing, because its true. I've always seen them as sort of parallels of each other. Its nice to see this acknowledged.

I saw that you answered some of my other ask things recently and the one where I was responding to what I think was the last chapter of Taob had me laughing because I had no idea it was that long when I sent it in. Sorry for making you read all that.

I have a process for writing these and a part of it is that I usually write it in a doc first and then copy and paste it into the ask thing and then read through it to make sure it makes sense. And sometimes when im rereading it Ill add a lot of stuff and I didnt realize how much I added with that particular ask.

I saw it and I just kept scrolling and scrolling and it was really funny to me.

I usually take screenshots when you answer them so i can remember what i have or havent talked about and that specific ask is like 14 screenshots of just the stuff I sent.

And im doing that again with this one.

Anywho im responding to some of your comments on my asks because i can.

"No you didnt send me an ask off anon but I wish you would"

never. I would rather die.

the whole your economics degree makes you feel stupid thing. theres a really popular saying thats like 'if you try to teach a fish to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid' or something like that. that part of your response reminded me of that.

"I want to know what your talking about with the kind thing"

Again, never. Absolutely not.

Theres another part i wanted to respond to but i cant remember now so oh well.

I know i always say that im not sure if these make sense but i actually mean it this time because im really tired. so have fun interpreting this.

OMG LIST ANON HI HI HI HOW ARE YOU <33333

i also love lihua it's kinda funny how many people were suspicious of her initially bc i genuinely dont know WHY idk if it's bc people just dont trust me or we're all overly cynical but i was getting comments and asks like 'i dont trust lihua' and im here like WHY THAT'S MY BABYGIRL

bribe me. do it. (no really dont i cant believe u tried to send me money just to take care of myself 😭)

as for the taob parallel thing, that wasn't on purpose! i really cant see myself putting ANY taob references in tams just bc i want them to be separate like i dont want all of my atla works from now on to be compared to taob bc that's. not gonna end well for me LMAO

"You have a specific post I keep seeing on pinterest, (and i saw it on facebook one time, that was surreal,) (im pretty sure its you) its the one where its like enemy to lover" NOOOOOOOOOO

i love how season 1 sokka's justification for very baltantly flirting with the firebender is literally to he's not like other girlsify him. sound logic there king

"like Shes always so robotic and uncomplex in some fics and I cant put into words how refreshing it is to get a change in that. Like this is the first fic ive ever read that I dont absolutely dread Azula povs." GOD TIER COMPLIMENT IM KISSING YOU RN i love love LOVE tams azula like i love her as a character i love writing her i love how it tests me a bit just love love love her and seeing how well she's been received in general has been such a pleasant surprise <3 do not even MENTION comic azula to me im so sad for her

"Sorry for making you read all that." please never apologise for these asks they make me very happy :)

"if you try to teach a fish to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid' or something like that." that's actually very fitting, thank you <3

get some sleep!!!!

thank you for this ask as always my love my light my cutie patootie xx

#list anon you will always be famous #ask #list anon #tams asks

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maldito-arbol · 11 months

Note

OKAY SO UHM. HEART YEAH?!? Yeah. Uhm. I didnt Know what to expect when i saw the ‚heart appears in this chapter‘ tw but. I will at least give them that it was not as bad a tw as normal with them.

And in Heart‘s defence they literally show up trying to make sure Anne‘s body doesnt start deteriorating and then while theyre there everyone starts yelling at them about how much they hate them and want them to leave immediately. Like all things considered they handled that Great with only the slightest bit of accidental violence

My notes started getting a bit sparce when they showed up because i just. If i didnt i would have put Everything in here. Its like. I dont even know where to start like What. The way they talk to Witney man…. And like. BRO WHEN WITNEY STOOD UP TO THEM SO REAL. that moment when u finally get the courage to stand up for urself because u wanna help out ur new bestie because shes missing her gf who almost died and just wants to hug her for a little bit. Don’t even get me STARTED on Marcy‘s argument about Witney being a different person now,,,,,,,,, the BELOVEDS. I love them. Time to be insane over Heartney forever and ever again now welp

Like I have said, having Heart show up was one of the parts I was MOST excited for.

NOBODY likes Heart. That’s the funny part. Besides Witney, everyone who interacts with them in this chapter harbors an intense amount of resentment for them, whether they’ve been harmed by Heart or had a loved one that was. And even Witney is starting to see them in a more negative light. Not one person was comfortable with them being able to just walk around. And can you blame them? The last time most of the Wartwoodians saw them, they were attacking Sasha and breaking the music box. This is all very dangerous territory, and they have no idea that Heart and Anne have been talking, or that Anne is giving them some trust. This is just another game, another trick.

Heart knows that’s how they feel. They’re used to everyone around them absolutely despising them. So they know now to handle this situation delicately. I also think it went great, even if there was some accidental violence. Harming Maddie was entirely an accident, and what’s extra interesting is that Maddie actually recognizes it as an accident while her friends are very quick to point fingers. Maddie is the least affected by Heart’s presence since she’s never had direct contact with them before now. So her bias about them is not nearly as awful, and it allows her to see when they didn’t mean to hurt her. We have to appreciate Maddie for keeping a cool head during this whole incident and largely being the one to suggest waking Heart back up. If not they might’ve been trapped in the purple void until Anne woke up. How horrible would that be?

Oh Heartney…. My beloved. There’s something that can be said about how Heart’s spoken to Witney like this for a thousand years and how jarring it is now that Witney just doesn’t take it anymore. I like how Heart is genuinely surprised when Witney says no to them. Imagine all the messed up things that Heart’s done that Witney’s just. Gone along with. Standing up for herself and deciding she can form her own opinions is huge for her character development. Witney deserves better and it’s about damn time he realized it himself. I particularly like this section:

“Forgive me for not trusting you at present,” Witney prefaces. “But I have someone to protect now. You understand, don’t you?” Even Marcy can tell this pains her to say. Every word is a struggle, every sound hurts more and more and it’s remarkable she can stand her ground in the face of their biggest threat at present, but it must be different now that she has Marcy.

They let out a small chuckle. “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s attached. What happened to you, Wit?”

“Time,” she tells them. “And more kindness and care in one person than two centuries of twisted maniacs.”

They relax, finally, allow Marcy her clinging for now because Witney’s not going to let up either.

“It’s a good thing,” they say. “What are we if not for our vessels? I was beginning to think you’d never care.”

The difference between Witney and Heart has always been their perceptions of their vessels. Witney spent so long being afraid of hers meanwhile Heart was extremely possessive and controlling of theirs. They believe now that Witney has changed for the better in terms of fiercely defending his vessel, but with it comes the territory of Witney gaining a lot more autonomy. Now she can make her own decisions, and that means Heart’s control over him has begun to slip. While this should be a good thing overall, it also means there will be arguments between the two of them, because now Heart can’t just get everything they want from Witney. They aren’t used to this. They will have to get used to it.

And I like how Marcy is so insistent that Witney’s a different person now. She out of the gems has changed the most drastically since a thousand years ago, but the other two don’t tend to recognize it. Heart in particular keeps trying to treat him the same way they did a thousand years ago, and it simply will not work anymore. She just isn’t who she was then. There will be a new dynamic between the three of them from now on.

Will join u for sure <3 I hyperfocus on each gem ship at different times but I come back to Heartney so often it’s ridiculous. I love these little funky dudes

#ask mal #i forgot I had this whole ask answered in my notes and just. got distracted and never posted it #CMTO 7

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bunycube · 2 years

Note

!!! hi again (sorry in advance for the very long message ,_,)

wait so do you mean that there is not english translation of Lamento ? so like if i were to download it I'd need to play it in Japanese ? o.o and like find a translation and read from there at the same time !? heck :")

ominous yes!! but there's something really nice about it ??!!

💀💀 not me imagining Tetsuo as a cardboard box now ksndjdjdj i see what you mean tho still i love him nonetheless :') i think he's just a lil bit shy and quiet, keeps to himself alot.. i feel like he's never really had any close friends,, maybe any friends at all i liked seeing glimp of soft and gentle Tetsuo :') there were some really cute and tender moment with Youji too (well as cute and tender as it can be given the circumstances lolol) it's fun to imagine what they all could have been like without all this innerbeings stuff fuckin them all up

it's ok to feel so close to Youji even if you don't know why 😊♡ and YEAAAS i felt the same same same about Z!!!! :"))) very interested to hear more of your thoughts about him if you ever feel like writing them down 👀👀

skdjdjdj entire cities apart made me laugh but true :^) tho even if he left his dad and all that the hell within would still follow him,,, he can't help that he been dragged into all this by his dad and he literally has no escape ,_,

hahajjsjsjsjs i know now there are no sweet endings lmao i can't say i didnt know at first because i had been warned but STILLLLLL i wasnt expecting that from Makoto!!!!! for that end to be so unhinged x') i thought he'd be the less bad difjfjdj

i do like to also imagine something where they someone all get free from the nonsense and just get to have normal lives and happiness ;_;

LOL i dont remember the ugly outfit :"))) i wasn't sure about Rin at first like ,,,, what's his angle,,, he is just pretending to be nice,,, why so mysterious,,,, he did grow on me but idk idk

aw im sorry Nano's made you feel that way :'( i love him very much :'):

aaaa i wasn't sure what to think of Motomi in all the other routes i was very mmm🤔🤔🤔🤔mmm but when i did his route i was like !!!!😍😍😍!!!!!

yeah Akira was alright but Aoba probably remains my fav protagonist(is that the right word??) and and i loved Takeru alot too , before he died when he sees like his sister and his parents and ;_; made me cry lowkey wish he had a route too ~ aND IT'S OK I LOVE GUNJI TOO WOAA

i like Arbitro too a little for some reason there's just something about him ,,,,, but his route was really underwhelming to me ??? idk i was expecting more from him

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!! RAMBLE AWAY very interesting to read someone being excited about what they are talking about !! :)))))))

never apologize for long messages!!! i love em! response under cut

there IS an eng translation for lamento! its just a pretty long process to download it haha. i was saying that i had to download some dvd mounting thing to get it to work snfbsb the game itself is fully translated, no worriesbthere!!

yesyes its like kimda ominous but still calming w all rhe quiet sunset empty classroom vibez...you know....

😭😭 oh yeah i get u, i think tetsuo is just a reserved kid plus he prob felt like he didnt fit in very well? thats just me guessing but he seems like that kind of guy...i think hes the same as youji in that respect, both of them kimd of quiet n awkward n not teh type to easily make friends :) he does some pretty bad things but im like sigh well its this kind of game so ofc that happens...besides that i think hes just an awkward quiet kid who looks rly intimidating like hes not bad once u start talking to him. i lovednsome of his gentler scenes w youji, my favs when they were eating ramen and tetsuo picks out the bamboo shoots from youjis bowl bc he doesnt like them...it made me so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i also loved when youji was showing him pics of his nephew ...idk idk sp is so dark but i loveee gentler scenes like this its so 💔 to me that they manage to find moments of peace despite everything around them...

oh true i thought abt this too...no matter how far zenya runs away he can never escape bc the thing thats causimg all his problems is his own body, so he just cant run away from it or do anything abt it ;___; poor boy he never asked for this n his whole life is just doomed from tjebstart bc of his shitty father...

if i started talking abt why i like zenya we would be here ALLL LDAY and rhis post would literslly never end lol i just like analysing him and how everythign hes been through shapes his actions and behaviour n all hmmmm

OH YES...sweetnpool normal au :))) i lvoe to imagine it i feel like tetsuo youji n makoto would hang our together n zenya is that one guy no one invited but he jsut joined in anyway n the others dont rlycwant him there but well. hes there now

lmaoo this is the ugly outfit

ohh yeah i was thinking abt this yesterday too and aoba is hands-down my fav chiral protag!,$& i jusr love him sm his personality design everything is chef kiss hes so fun and lovely and means sm to me. hes very comforting to me personally as well and hes just a special boy...tho i love the other protags as well haha

OH YEAH i loved takeru too wtfff i wasnso sad when he died bc he had never had antthing good ivhis life n thenche dies SO BRUTALLY...and he jsut wantednto help his family it made me v sad :( they spent sm time on him i fully expected him to atleast have an ending so when he died i was like huh, wiat what 😭😭😭😭

ngl, arbitro makes me sick 2 my stomach for reasons u prob already know but he surprisingly isnt relevant ti the plot st all? so i keep forgetting abt him. i liked how campy his design was but thats it. hecmakes me sick !!! yeah jdbfbd

same for u! i lovenreading lomg responses haha i always ramble a lot so i feel less guilty if the person also writes a long reoly, beside its very fun to read and respond to!

#ask #ill put under cut wait i need to go on desktop #long post

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thatguy03 · 2 years

Text

The Injury Spiral - Male Weight Gain

Entry 1.

I've had a crush on my roommate Jack for a while, ever since we moved in together last semester. I dont think he likes me back, but a man can hope. Anyways, I usually go to his rugby games, we live close to campus anyway so I might as well. Besides I'd take any excuse to watch him play, hes by far the hottest guy on the team. He's 6'2 200 pounds of muscle with meaty pecs and thick thighs. I'm writing this in my journal because something big happened at his last game and I have an idea. He got injured, like bad, I don't know what it is but he mentioned the school nurse said that it looked like it would take a long to heal. What's my plan you say? Well, though I think Jack is really hot, I think he could do with some meat on his bones, and by meat I mean fat. I mean hes gonna be stuck at home with nothing better to do for what looks to be a long time, so why not give it a try.

Entry 2

Its been about a week since my last entry. Jack got the results back from the doctor, it's some sort of torn ligament in his leg, he'll be out for maybe 6 months. Bad news for him but great news for me. In his time back, I showed him some video games that might get him hooked and have started to plant the idea of ordering food more often now that hes stuck inside. I bought more junk last time I went shopping to make sure that he didnt have much choice, he'll run out of veggies and protein powder soon enough. Not much has changed now but the seed has been planted.

Entry 3

It's been about 2 weeks since the last entry. The ball has started to roll. Jack basically never leaves the apartment anymore, he just goes from his bed to the living room and occasionally to the bathroom. He doesnt really need to go anywhere else because school is online. Also, I have started to make dinner for him on the nights that we dont order in, so I can control just how many calories he eats. I have been slowly making the meals bigger and less healthy, I even started adding things to his uber eats orders to get him to eat more. It has been slow, but the other day I saw him come out of the bathroom after a shower and there was definitely a layer of pudge over his once defined six pack. Mission success.

Entry 4

Its been a while since my last entry, almost a month I think. For the most part the routine has been the same, feed Jack as much as I can without him catching on, though I have made progress on making him eat more. He snacks constantly while sitting on his ass and playing video games, I make his dinners almost twice as big as before, and he orders 2 meals when we get fast food. I can tell that he has gotten a hunger for junk he never knew he had. But I digress, the reason I made this entry was because I saw him throwing out some clothes that no longer fit him. His gym clothes that showed of his figure perfectly now show his little belly peaking under his shirt. I even see his struggling to pull his pants up past his ass in the morning. He tries to hide it when hes around me, but when he relaxes I can see a little belly forming under his clothes.

Entry 5

It's been a little over a month since my last entry, this marks 2 months since Jack got injured. I've really started to feed him like a pig, and he seems to be aware of what I'm doing but doesnt care to stop it. He gets fast food multiple times a day, and snacks constantly. I dont think he plans on stopping, hell I dont plan to anytime soon. It gotten to the point that most of his old clothes dont think anymore, only the baggy tees and sweat pants fit. Hes been ordering new clothes constantly to keep up with all the clothes that suddenly dont fit anymore. I cant even tell if he is still trying to suck in his stomach or if he has given up, either way his belly sticks out enough that not even baggy clothes can hide it. His belly has rounded out nicely, his pecs have started to look a little flabby, even his face looks a little chubbier. Were making good progress. I especially love it when he thinks he can wear form fitting clothes and a little bit of his belly pokes out under his shirt.

Entry 6

It has been another month since the last entry. It seems as though Jack is fully aware of my plan, and has no intention of stopping it. He regularly roams the apartment shirtless, sometimes even in his boxers, flaunting his new pudge. It could also be that most of his clothes dont fit now, but he does look more confident now so I'll go with the former. His once ripped body now looks more like a vacation dadbod. His belly started to hang over waist a little bit, and he started to develop some love handles. Also a solid layer of fat and hair has covered his pecs, they still look strong but they have started to round out. His ass surprisingly got a lot fatter, I can usually see his buttcrack when he bends down even a little bit. I know I shouldnt look but I cant help myself sometimes.

Entry 7

It has been 2 months since the last entry. Today is a big day, Jack popped a button on his shirt for the first time. We were eating dinner for the third time and he had been wearing a button up shirt he got not too long ago. He looked really stuffed but kept gorging himself, and all of a sudden, POP. I hadnt even noticed how big his belly had gotten, it plopped onto his lap after bursting through his shirt. He grabbed it and gave it a good shake before finishing up his plate. As I was cleaning up, he went to the couch and turned on the ps4 without even changing his ripped shirt. I decided to make a move, he had been taking the whole pigging out things really seriously lately and after seeing his gut rip through his shirt I couldnt resist. I sat beside him and rested my hand on his belly. To my shock he looked at me and smiled, so I started to rub his exposed belly as he played. It was so soft and hairy, I loved grabbing his fat and bouncing it back and forth. Cupping his pecs and feeling his swollen nipples, I saw a little bit of a bulge forming in his pants. I didnt think it was possible, but I think this turns him on, I cant say it doesnt turn me on either.

Entry 8

It has been about a month since the last entry. When eating our dinners, we started to feed eachother. I would stuff his mouth while rubbing his belly and sometimes he would return the favor, though he has been feeding me more and more lately. That didnt slow him down. We spent some time in the bathroom examining him, he was 240 pounds, 40 pounds heavier than 6 months ago. That's on top of the fact that he has lost a lot muscle in that time too, I think it's fair to say he isnt going back to play rugby. He has a respectable beer gut now that hangs well over his waist. He gave up on getting new clothes so now he just walks around the apartment with his gut and love handles exposed under his shirts. His pecs have started to look more like moobs, they get cupped by his tight shirts and even bounce when he tries to move too fast. He basically only wears sweats now because nothing else can get up past his ass or even his thighs. I've gotten to know his body well because most nights I play with his belly with a movie on, most nights I end up falling asleep with him anyway. I've also been stealing some of his old clothes that dont fit, mine have been getting pretty tight, I guess I need to cut out some of those dinners, or maybe the snacks we have in bed.

Entry 9

It has been 2 months since my last entry. Jack has fully recovered fully from his injury, but has said nothing about rugby so I assume he is not going back. It's not like he could really, I dont think any of their jerseys would fit him, besides he wouldnt be able to run very fast lugging all that extra dat around. He has really been pushing it with all of the meals, we have been eating five or six meals on top of the snacking and feeding sessions we do outside of that. He must have put on at least 15 or 20 pounds since my last entry. He has a full on beer gut that drips over his waist line and love handles that reach around to his back. His face is hardly what it once was, any semblance of a jawline has been covered in fat and his cheeks have puffed out. I can even see a double chin forming under the beard he started to grow. Who knew getting Jack fat would make him so hairy, but you dont hear me complaining. Theres no denying he has full on man boobs now, they started to sag onto his round gut. I think all of the stuffings have been affecting me too, but I've been focused on Jack so I dont really care, besides I knew I'd gain a bit of weight when this started.

Entry 10

It has been about 3 months since the last entry. We have been pigging out more than we ever had, every moment is spent eating and playing with Jack's belly. Which has become massive, every part of his body jiggle when he walks, I can even see it through his 3XL shirts and sweat pants. I usually see him wrap his arms around his ball gut and shake it in front of me, just to tease me. I cant wait for belly play, it makes for great foreplay. Stuffing myself and rubbing Jack's belly makes me so horny, getting to fuck him when hes filled to the brim and his belly has expanded to its max is the best experience in my life. Getting to feel through all his rolls of fat and layers of fur, riding his fat ass is euphoric. But that's besides the point, I have been having the time of my life stuffing myself with Jack. I also like stealing his clothes cuz they're comfy, I dont know if he doesnt notice or just doesnt care but it's not like they fit him anyway, hes way bigger than me.

Entry 11

It has been 4 months since my last entry. Jack hit the 300 pound milestone not too long ago. His belly has started to look like a beach ball after our stuffings, and his moobs fully sag onto his gut now. His face has fully rounded out and you can even see his multiple chins under his beard. Once he hit 300 pounds, he said that we could be fat ass boyfriends. I was shocked that he said we since I have been the one making him fat this whole time, but he said that he thought I would have noticed him stuffing me lately. I never really cared to pay too much attention to it. It only really hit me when I took my shirt off in front of the mirror, Jack stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my body, giving my beer gut a solid shake. I had been wearing his clothes for so long I never even noticed how fat I was getting. We stood in the mirror as Jack showed me how fat he made me. I had a pregnant looking belly, soft man tits, drooping love handles and a fat ass. He turned me into a full on pig. I stepped on the scale to see that I was 220 pounds, holy shit, I was a full on hog. Jack even pointed out the small things like my double chin and the stretch marks on my belly. It shocked me how turned on I was from seeing myself this fat, now I can see why all those gainers do this to themselves. Now my only goal was to catch up to Jack.

Entry 12

It's been about half a year since my last entry. I got so focused on trying to catch Jack that I forgot about the journal. I tried my best but he is too far ahead. I reached 270 last week, I feel like I'm growing so fast, but he has already reached 330. Though we look comparable in obesity because I'm a lot shorter, he is still much fatter than me. I shouldnt be complaining as I get an obese pig all to myself. I've been doing a good job feeding him, he has to waddle around now because of how fat his legs and gut are. He has a almost cartoon ball belly that barely drops under his shirt, and moobs that have started to sag onto the side of his belly. His fat pad has almost engulfed his cock. As for my progress, I've had to start leaning back to compensate for my gut, and my love handles stick out so far that i struggle to fit into smaller chairs. I cant even see my feet or my dick anymore, my belly completely blocks it, and bending down has become a chore. Also I have became so hairy since become obese, I was shocked by how much fur grew all over my ball belly, soft moobs and back.

On another note, Jack mentioned he made a lot of money using his progress photos and videos of us pigging out on only fans. Turns out he was onto my plan a lot sooner than I thought. It wasnt a bad idea after all, to make money off something we do anyway. I started posting videos of my progress too, and the videos of us stuffing eachother. Turns out people will pay a lot to see two fat guys play with eachother bellies.

Entry 13

This will most likely be my last entry. It's been about 2 years since we started gaining. Not much has changed in our routine, still pigging out as much as ever. Jack hit 350 not too long ago and I hit 300 too. Progress has slowed down but I think were happy where we are, we have plenty to play with in bed. We love it when people cant take their eyes off our massive guts in public, sometimes we'll give our bellies a little shake to set them off. Besides if we got any bigger we would have to get a new bed, ours groans under the pressure of our sheer mass. The best part was seeing family and seeing them react to us being unrecognizable fat. Especially Jack, who went from jacked rugby star to a fat and hairy gamer, they even asked him if he was going back to rugby. If youd ever seen him run recently youd know that wasnt happening, it looks like the ground trembles under his feet. As for my family, they made some awkward jokes about finally putting on some weight before giving my belly a little shake. "A little weight" might be an understatement considering I've doubled in weight, but I'll take the compliment. I thought that they might mention something because we intentionally wore shirts that barely covered past our belly buttons and pants that were far too small for our asses. Though we did get some good stares and belly pats.

Beyond that things havent changed that much, pig out and play with our rolls of fat. I will update the journal again if something big changes.

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blackvail22 · 7 months

Text

9/22/23 — 1:20am

i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!

im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯

im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????

anyways

im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand

im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.

im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....

im tired

i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return

2:51am

idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.

and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck

this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself

yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol

3:16am

ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"

i hope it doesnt come off weird

ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now

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black-rosewolf66 · 11 months

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Am i really a bad person? I mean i dont heal others anymore…but atleast i dont hurt them…i still try to be respectfull but at the same time be honest….i still help others it just not that big of a deal….but when do we know if someone is bad? Arent we a little bit to greedy? I mean just because someone doesnt help us that doesnt make the other a bad person…we should apreciatte that the other person isnt forcing himself/herself/itself…when my developed feelings for my best friend and i confessed she took pitty on me and i didnt see that…i was blind to it i thought she just realized that she likes me too or that she gained confidence to accept it because of me…but after a little time of feeling like she hates it…and getting confused and hurted…i realized she maybe forced herself she likes to help others and does everything so others will be happy and they will love her…so i gathered the courage and asked her…are you forcing yourself to be with me…and when she answered no…i asked her to then hold my hand kiss me lets do something other than bathing together than going on dates than teasing eachother sexually….and when she hesitated i knew everything i needed…i still dont know why she is jelous when i sleep with others…maybe shes scared that she will lose her best friend…but its not love…its not the love i feel and i told her that too…but i told her that if she wishes i can get back with her anytime…because i will never let my feelings for her go…i cant…than we went on a little separate time so i could test if she wants me back…it was close to new year and we never spent it alone…but that year because she still didnt call or write to me i decided that iwill hive her a little bit more time but then…i made a bad decision i went to a suspicious party…and bad things happened after trusting someone…and being naive…so after that bad thing i felt so filthy that i just wanted to crawle into a hole….i knew that she will ask about the new year…and i dint feel like speaking or remembering it yet…so i avoided everyone for a moth and after that she was so mad that i didnt call her for help….we knew that i wouldnt have never in life…i dont even regret not calling her….because i wouldnt want her to go there and get into truble as i did i wasnt a virgin anymore so it kinda didnt matter….but she is and she is a hopeless romantic so i dont regret not calling her there to help me…but she didnt understand it and we can never forget it…it did leave a wound in her and in our friendship…she forced herself withouth telling me so she wasnt honest…i forced myself to stay silent so i wasnt honest…so we arent honest anymore it takes a lot of alcohol to get her to open up to me so i can get her to relax and tell me the things she is trubled by so she doesnt bottle her emotions up…because it will hurt her more…and it takes a lot of time for me to relax and tell my feeling especially if its about my needs…and im more sensitive about these stuffs now…i dont wanna hurt her because she is the only human besides me who tolerates me…

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moriaddty · 1 year

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Random Thought/Selfreflection/Realisation:

Dunno if anyone else experiences this but i have a friend which told me that they would like me to cry more around them. They say its because i have a tendency to cry and often tell them that i cried when we write about our day. But they noticed that i nearly never cry around them or when i do i try to surpress it, and they said they want me to know that they are a safe person to show my emotions to.

But that's not the reason i dont cry or activly surpress it around them.

Its that most of the time when i cry its not because i am genuinely sad about something, but for some reason my body expressing emotions running wild, without any real reason for the expressed emotion. It doesn't even feel like its my emotion that gets expressed but more like as if it was an intrusive thought but instead of a thought its an emotion. I also figured out so far that this happens mostly when i forgot to take my antidepressants and didnt manage to eat well.

I dont know if "intrusive emotions" are even a thing or i just feel this way bc i might be disconnected from my emotions sometimes, but that description feels most accurate. And it helped with dealing with them in a way that yes i might be crying rn but i doesn't feel sad really and thats okay, having an strong expression of an emotion doesnt mean that there has to be a deeper reason for it at all everytime or that i even have the emotion right now, it can also just be brain stupid. Just like when brain gives me anxiety bc i have stomacheache bc stomacheache is usually how my body expresses anxiety and it expects stomacheache to always be an expression of anxiety, which isnt the case, i can also just have eaten smth bad sometimes.

I dont know if i subconsciously decided that this friends isnt a safe person to let those "intrusive emotions" just express themselves but clearly communicate that they arent really my emotions in this moment like i do around other friends because i didnt get the feeling that they "trusted my judgment" of those emotions and take them at the same value as when i am genuinely sad, permanently questioning if it couldn't be that they are my deep down emotions and im just in denial if i do experience it around them, instead of just being like "okay if its smth you want to talk about you can, but if you dont want to or if its just body being weird and stupid imma just hug you and you can let it out, I'll be here and we can do whatever you decide is best for handling the emotions.", like other friends do.

But i do let genuine emotions express around them, im just rarely feeling very strong genuine emotions that would express themselves that visibly, the "intrusive ones" are way more common.

Dunno its weird and i dont know how tell my friend that beside saying exactly this, which it didnt seem like they understood and accepted.

My cynical side says: "if you have to say 'show me your emotions more i am a safe person to show emotions to' to someone, you probably arent a safe person to show emotions to for this person in they way you'd like/think you are."

#mental health #neurodivergent #help please how do i tag serious stuff #it this serious stuff?#i still dont know how to use this app #also kinda oversharing maybe ahhh i probably shouldn't post this

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aleksanderthemesschild · 1 year

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fundywastaken has my aus in a chokehold for now reason, and im making it youre problem

mddream, our beloved. Before he gets released he interacts quite a bit with a few heroes. The one that probably talked to him the most? A hero by the name firefox. Or well, that isnt his name, but dream called him that. His actual "hero" name is ItsFundy, one of the IT guys. His power is similar, if not even the same one, as 404s power. Access to the networks via body attachments that formed throughout life or he added wiht attachments. Fundy would usually hack into certain networks and gather all the information he can, before absolutely changing and crashing the code there so that their networks were in ruins. He didnt work like 404 in combat, rather he worked from the headquarters. Usually, those two woudlnt have any contact at all, the it section and the rehab section separated from eachother quite a bit, If there wasnt a small boy with white hair. He was fundys kid, running around in areas hes allowed in, letting out energy that he has as small kid. At first, yogurt didnt interact with dream, seeing him as the big scary man with the knife arms. And dream doesnt blame him, when breaking it down, he is a big scary man with knife arms. It wasnt until yogurt walked by dreams room, seeing an open door. Dream wasnt feeling so well, a fever catching him now that his dosage was lowered significantly, and bad memories haunting his dreams. He left the door open incase he panicked and they needed easy and fast access towards him. Instead, a small kid walked in, seeing the usually cold and scary man now lay in bed wrapped in a blanket, muscles spasms and his expression showing his unease in his sleep. He walked towards the man, setting down the fox plush that he has with him next to dream, pushing it towards the other. Usually, when yogurt felt bad, the foxy helped. In dreams case it woke him up. He startled up a bit, pushing himself onto his forearms to look at the kid, who kept pushing the fix towards him. Dream did not understand. He looked at the kid confused before raising one hand and petting the foxy. The kid giggled at him, happy the man seems more at ease than when he was asleep. Dream pushed a button that's at his bed side, calling one of the staffs. While dream thinks ths kid is adorable, hed prefer the kid wouldnt get sick because of him. Crow father walks in, apparently having been close by anyway, taking fundys kid from him, telling the kid to not bother the sick man. Dream gave him a thumbs up before promptly falling back asleep, exhaustion weighing him down. When fundy later asked yogurt where his plush is, yogurt replied that the sick man has it. Fundy quickly made his way to the "sick man", or as he knew him, pandoras number 1. There has been no real contact between them, besides that fundy is still struggling to decipher the code of the pandoras prisoners, also having a glance at numbers one before decide hell do it last. He really hoped the other didnt bother with the plush and just put it down, easy access for fundy. Instead fundy saw the man sleeping, cageing in the plush in his sleep. Technically, he could grab it, the other did cage ot in, but it seems like an unconscious thing that happened during his sleep rather than a conscious decision to take the plush in his hold. And I mean, what could happen if fundy tried to take it. Well now he is pinned against the bed, having been bodied onto it, the other on top of him, holding him down against the mattress. He could see the other was distressed, seemingly more acting out of instinct rather than rationality. And really, it was fundys mistake. He shoudlntve thought that if he tried to take something from someone who is incredibly sensitive to movement and sounds and probably feels more stressed and anxious than relaxed, would end up with him walking away scratch free. "What do you want" "th-the plush, its- it's my sons plush-" the hand against his throat immediately lifted, air filling his lungs. The prisoner immediately helped him sit up, apologising immediately and sincerely explaining he was acting more on instinct than rationality, that he didnt know what happened but he knew someone tried ot take the boys plush that he wanted ot give back- fundy interrupted him with laughter, overwhelmed and surprised by the prisoners behaviour, saying it's all fine and that he shouldve known. Dream joined a him with the laughter, laughing a bit at his instincts. Fundy took the plush from dream, who had it in his hands, before promising hell give it back to the boy. They waved at eachother as fundy left, dream smiling as he went back to his restless sleep and fundy smiling as he went back to his son. After this, yogurt would go to dream, just to play or visit him, talking to the man. Fundy and dream would end up talking aswell, talking about the kid and the hero agency. Fundy was one of the first heroes that treated dream like a friend, and dream deeply appreciated that. Even if people kept speculating whether yogurt isnt actually both their kid and not only fundys, but he could ignore that

#mantis dream au #echos dms

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sanchoyo · 1 year

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i started watching arc v! finally. after years of saying Im Gonna. its Happening. (i've tried to twice and cant recall what eps i got to in those attempts, because I literally dont remember anything at ALL LMAO) I'm like, 15 eps in and may I just say some Things. ep 1-15 thoughts below the Cut

-yuzu best girl immediately my god shes already been done dirty tho. she shouldve gotten to fight shingo! fuck emo yuya for stopping it and stepping in! (altho yaaaay xyz :3 my beloved) and also she loses the first duel we see her get to do? when her dad is literally the owner of a duel school?? and his school was at stake?? bc she was distracted thinking of Not Yuya? no. fuck off with that lol I'm picking her up and mentally rewriting all that. the girl she dueled against was super fun tho, I ship them tbh.

-yuya is finally the canonical clown ygo protag I needed. he dresses as a clown in ep 1! he has! a circus deck! thats so fun! hes a LOT more melancholic/prone to moodiness than I expected...the goggles as a mood indicator is fun. also seems to care VERY much what ppl think/need lots of applause and praise or he gets upset quickly which. like, wanting to put smiles on ppls faces with dueling is a sweet goal, but a lot of it feels self-serving, too, which is Inchresting for a protag...I LIKE it and want to see where it goes

-and the whole 'laugh when you want to cry' is, ngl, very Bad and Unhealthy and I cant imagine we're going anywhere good with that. (seriously, dont recall what ep, maybe 4 or 5, when the kids and yuzu were in danger he started LAUGHING trying to imrpove his own mood and i was like DUDE. UNNERVING STOP THAT.) let him feel his feelings guys. or this is going to go severely Bad I Think

-dont trust sora but also no shit? his intro is him being sus, basically outright saying 'ya where I come from everyone does fusion, nbd' yeah hes some kind of spy or SOMETHING for that academia that emo yuya was taking abt. and his deck is very cute but also has a dark side/creepy cute thing going on and this is ygo where Decks Indicate Personality, so. just kinda Waiting for him to Stab Backs. hes already kind of a little shit

-he 100% shouldve been dueling that guy gongenzaka had to duel! gongenzaka doesnt even GO here and ms Chairman said someone from this school had to duel her school students! if you want to fake being friends with yuya! you need to fucking put in some EFFORT!!! and at least pretend to give a shit dude, this is the school the guy you supposedly admire attends!!! it comes off as u not giving a fuck abt anything besides pendulum/yuya-related stuff which is gonna make yuya less inclined to wanna be ur friend bc u look like a brat! (I know the meta answer is that they wanted to give gongenzaka some screentime to convince me hes yuyas bff or w/e but. in my mind its been 10 or so eps by this point, yuzu is yuyas bff in my mind lol. )

-anyway that aside soras deck is SO cute. the BEARS!! ARE IN!!!! the 'acting younger/cuter than u are' shtick is already kind of annoying tho. I do like his chara design tho (at least his hair/face? Id redesign his outfit ngl if hes going for a cutecore/sweets theme why not go ALL in yk)

-gongenzaka's whole 'no spells/traps' and standing in one spot during an action duel is objectively really funny

-action duels in general are SO FUN!!! i want to ride my monsters too..i kno theyd be soft. pls.

-really wanted to see more masumi or her vs yuya!!! so sad reiji stepped in. pls let the girls DO MORE!!! i love that she used gem knights!! I love gem knights!!!

-didnt know reiji used d/d/d cards, immediately broke out into a cold sweat upon seeing them. those decks always destroy me in duel links in like 2 turns jkasfkjjn.

-its so funny theres entire classes just for synchro and xyz and most ppl in this world can just Do One of them Only. like everyone being SHOCKED reiji can do All of them LMAO.

-surprised at how much I like reiji actually from just what ive seen up to this point, I mean I Like the other ygo rivals and all but usually they have an Attitude...but hes very polite to yuya and him saying he respects yuya's dad is REFRESHING compared to everyone else calling his dad a coward (for?? seemingly going MISSING??) his fashion choices leave a lot to be desired tho. but otherwise him and yuzu are my favs so far I think...we'll see if this changes!

-I KNOW charas from other series get involved, dont know WHEN thatll be, but I am Excitedly Waiting. give me The King Jack. Give me Kaito. I dont know who all besides those two shows up Actually But Im WAITING AAAA.

#btw if the answers to any of these qs are spoilers i dont wanna hear them!#i know SOME thngs but not too much to not enjoy it yk #arc v #ygo #sanchoyorambles #not exactly a liveblog just my Thoughts A Little Bit #sanchoyo liveblogs arc v

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miraeluc · 3 years

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you have an eating disorder

prompt: “you never had issues with food - that is until your boyfriend makes a remark about your weight.”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female! reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: MAJOR TW!! anorexia, there’s swearing

genre: fluff, angst

NOTE: this is not proofread at all and it’s kinda short, i was struggling to finish it a lot, sorry :(

you were never one to pay special attention to your diet or anything

life is short, why spend it worrying about how your body looks?

food is food man, and you need it to live

there was no fun in dieting either, it’s not like you were ever fat anyway - with daily training you were in shape!

sure there were thinner girls, but like i mentioned, you just liked enjoying food without having to worry about losing weight all the time

your boyfriend, bakugo, just does not know how to express himself

he’s not the type to really pay any mind to your figure, he finds you pretty anyway

and its a plus anyway - whenever he feels full he can just push his plate towards you and you’ll gladly finish it for him

that is until one day

you were sitting with the baku squad at lunch

mina was telling you about a new tiktok trend she had stumbled upon and found hilarious

denki was currently fighting for his life against bakugo after saying his hair looked like he was just hit by an electricity quirk before he proceeded to zap him lightly

kirishima was regretting all of his life decisions when he decided to try and help denki

sero was just sat there,, recording it so he could show them just how stupid they looked afterwards

kirishima finally managed to pull said angry-boy away from kaminari

you always said he’s like a little angry pomeranian when angry lol

back to the plot omg i got carried away

after bakugo was calm enough to take his initial seat beside you, he was already too full and just overall not hungry

so he pushed his plate towards you

“eat up, fatass.” he grumbled out

you just looked up at him with wide doe-eyes, not expecting an insult to slip off his tongue

it was bakugo, what’d you expect lmao

you looked down at the plate, suddenly feeling very not hungry anymore, instead pushing the plate away as you grabbed your bag to stand up

“actually, i’ll head up to my room, i feel a bit sick”

you immediately left after that, not seeing the confused glances the table exchanged, mina smacking bakugo’s head

you went to your room and laid down, not knowing why bakugo’s comment had made you feel upset

you never get upset when he makes dumb remarks!!

so why now!!

you realised it when you were stood in front of the mirror, shirt lifted, staring at your own body

you did gain some weight.

you were upset at yourself because you usually didn’t mind!!

you know weight fluctuates, you know the small amount of chub you have will eventually pack it’s little bags and leave again

but it hurt because you wanted to be pretty for your boyfriend.

how could you be when he says you’re a fatass?

eventually, you ended up scrolling through your phone, looking at thin girls all day

you also looked up a few diets that worked very fast

by the time bakugo was aggressively knocking at your door you had closed all of the pages you were previously looking at

as soon as you swung the door open he strutted in, seating himself on your bed

“what was with you running off at lunch today?” he looked at you

you were still stood at your door like.... mm ok i guess make yourself at home

“huh? i told you, i felt a little sick.” you mumbled, closing the door again, it was getting late and you were not looking to be beheaded by aizawa

he scoffed “if you say so.” he laid down, kicking your blanket to the side

“i brought you some snacks - incase you got hungry..” he said, his face looking like >:(

he didn’t get them because he knew you liked them and wanted to make you happy! not at all!!

he just didn’t want to put up with you being whiny

that’s for sure the reason

you giggled, throwing yourself ontop of him - sounds of protest coming from him but he did wrap his arms around you

“since when are you so nice, katsuki?!” you teased

lol wrong move

in 0.01 seconds you were flipped over and held down as he started tickling you

“i’m not nice!”

the next morning you left extra early to avoid getting breakfast with bakugo

he didn’t seem to be bothered by it, he also has days where he just doesn’t feel like eating early in the morning so

it does start to bother him when that one day of skipping breakfast turned into every day

his google search bar is like

‘why does my gf not eat’

‘do girls not eat breakfast’

but this bitch is also too scared to approach you at first because he doesnt want you to know he truly cares

his ego is still too high for that

but you know better

you know he cares but sometimes you don’t feel good enough for him

you can’t help but compare yourself to other girls at your school

you distance yourself unknowingly, lost in the counting calories and exercising every day

everyone but you notices that you’re literally spiraling

you don’t notice that you look sick, skin paling and cheekbones getting more prominent every passing day

you don’t notice the growing eyebags under your eyes

all you notice is other pretty girls and how you want to look like them.

at first, your friends decide to give you some space, thinking that maybe you have to fix this within yourself and need space

and you do, but someone needs to snap you out of your little bubble

that someone is bakugo

so it goes like this

during training, he noticed your legs being a little more wobbly than usual

and he noticed that you were unfocused, not being able to dodge all of the enemies attacks

but something inside of him snaps when aizawa has to stop the fight because you were not even fighting back anymore

before aizawa even arrived in front of you, your world went black and you collapsed

bakugo was so angry at your training enemy

didn’t they fucking see your struggle??

did they really have to be stopped by their teacher??

would they even have stopped if it werent for aizawa??

probably not

but he didnt have time to go and yell at them because he was running towards you

aizawa let him pick you up

“bring her to recovery girl.”

of course he did

everyone watching was so shocked

because bakugo didn’t let out a sound the entire time

his face was pulled into a frown, as usual, but he wasn’t speaking- no, yelling

he showed past his classmates, walking towards recovery girl’s office

“ribbit, why was he so quiet?”

recovery girl was like ?!?!?! what the fuck happened when was the last time she ate

she had to give you a total parenteral nutrition

(that means nutrition/fluids are delivered into your body via a catheter placed in a vein of your body, usually lower arm)

when you woke up bakugo was sat next to the bed, reading the back of some medicine bottle he found there

when he noticed you awake he perked up a little, shoulders visibly relaxing

“what happened?”

he narrowed his eyes, wondering for a second if you were serious

“you’re starving yourself to near death, that’s what happened.”

you immediately grimaced

“did i pass out in front of everyone?”

“is that seriously what you’re worried about?!”

you remained quiet, looking away

“y/n, look at me.” he gently guided your head to face him

“i don’t know what drove you to do this to yourself, but i need you to stop. you’re going to die if you don’t stop. what idiot made you think you need to do this to yourself?! i’ll kill them!”

“you told me i was a fatass”

his jaw dropped

fuck

“you know i don’t mean when i insult you! i hide the fucking fact that i WANT you to eat by using insults! i’m so sorry..”

his voice went soft at the end

he truly felt so bad :(

he was the one that was supposed to protect you from others hurting you yet here he was, being the one that caused you to hink you weren’t worthy enough

“i know, but there’s so many much more prettier girls than me, i was afraid you’d lose feelings if i wasn’t thin enough.”

“are you kidding?! you’re the only one i have eyes for! all those other extra’s can fuck off, i don’t give a single shit about them!”

you were kinda tearing up

“do you promise?”

god, he felt so bad.

he sat on the edge of the bed, reluctantly pulling you in a hug

“i promise”

from that day on he made sure to remind you to eat meals, even if it was just something small

he ripped everyone’s heads off if they made a comment about your eating habits and/or weight

and he made sure you were the only one he loved

the day he saw you collapse something broke inside of him

it opened his eyes that hiding his emotions from you wouldn’t help you in your relationship

so while he supported you to build your feelings of self-worth and eating habits, you helped him start to open up, teaching him that showing emotions wasn’t embarassing

no one else knew how soft he could get with you and it should stay that way

you had a long way to go but it was all worth it in the end

he was your little angry pomeranian <33

requests: open

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#bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #eating disorder #eating disorder recovery #bnha fluff #bnha angst #denki kaminari #eijiro kirishima #mha fluff #mha angst #bakugo angst #bakugo fluff #bakugo drabble

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