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fardell24b · 4 years

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Quinn’s Code - Geekery at the Mega-Mall Part 4

Guy drove the car away from the gas station.

“You didn't have to fill the car up,” Guy said.

Sandi turned to him “I want to get to the Mall of the Millennium as soon as possible, like with a minimum of delay. We have already been in rush hour traffic, like back in Baltimore!”

“We still have plenty of time, Sandi,” Tori said.

“But not as much as we could have had!” Sandi said.

“I guess not,” Tori said.

“Right,” Guy said, his eyes on the road. He saw a destination sign on the side of the road.

Crossbro, 30 Mi

Crossbro, Delaware

Rob drove carefully as they approached the edge of the Mall of the Millennium's outer parking lots.

“It's going to take a while to find a parking spot and to walk in,” he said.

“Of course,” Wolfgang said.

“I know,” Quinn said.

“I will park in the first one I find,” Rob said.

“That would be best,” Quinn said.

“I agree,” Wolfgang said.

Xavier looked at the clock on the dashboard. It was 10:45. 'I has to be all that traffic in Baltimore. The radio didn't really help,' he thought.

It took a while for Koichi to find a space.

At 11:00 Sandi stalked ahead of the Fashion Club into the Mall of the Millennium's main entrance. “If you hadn't been late, Stacy, we would not have been, like, caught in Rush Hour traffic on the way through Baltimore!”

“I said I was sorry!” Stacy said.

Sandi glared at Stacy.

“Eep!”

Guy sighed.

“And if we hadn't needed more gas!” Sandi said to Guy.

“I did say I'm sorry!” he said.

Sandi just gave him a look of disapproval.

Behind her, Tori shook her head.

At 11:15 the Economics class had just entered the Mall and were already lost...

“We're in area B, section Pink, and we need to get to area C, section Orange. So, if we just bear right at area L, section Blue... oh, wait, sorry. Wrong level,” Mrs. Bennett said, trying to get the class out of the predicament.

Kevin noticed an interesting store. “Look, Mack Daddy! The Sports Shorts! A whole store full of shorts for sports!”

“Uh-huh,” Mack said, too tired to try to tell Kevin to not call him by that nickname. 'Why doesn't he get it through his thick head already!'

“Everyone, we'll walk down R Moss, and turn right at Q Canary. Please keep the flow, people, please keep the flow,” Mrs. Bennett said.

“I could find the way if she’d let me have the map,” Jennifer whispered to Jane.

“Maybe,” Jane said with a shrug.

“Who would ever guess there'd be so many colors? The person who thought them all up must be a genius,” Brittany said.

“Yeah, and we haven't even gotten to puke green yet,” Jane said. She glanced at Daria, who still looked queasy from the bus trip. “Oh, yeah.”

“I hope we find the executives soon,” Jennifer said.

“Why?” Daria asked.

“So we can get out of this boredom,” Jennifer said.

“Left at N Cranberry. Wait, is that cranberry or magenta? Jane, you're an artist,” Mrs. Bennett asked, unsure of the colors.

“It's cranapple,” Jane said.

'Very difficult to tell,' Mack thought.

Charles Ruttheimer III, otherwise known as Upchuck, noticed a store that piqued his purient interest. “Mrs. B? Can we please stop for a minute at Bikini Island? I'd like to buy a few trifles for the ladies, and perhaps you'd care to pick out something for yourself?”

“Not now, Charles. We'll be late for our meeting with the mall executives. I had to work very hard to arrange this. These are very important, very busy...” Mrs. Bennett trailed off as she was distracted by something that piqued her own interest.

“What is it, Mrs. B?” Upchuck asked.

Mrs. Bennet ran over to a store and looked in. “The Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee-Bit Shop! Herbert and I collect Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits! Aren't they adorable? Look, a Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits cactus! And look at that little bunny rabbit with its own Fuzzy Wuzzy carrot!”

“Great!” Daria said.

They soon found themselves in a conference room.

“...And of course, when you go to the mall, you look for what?” one of the mall executives asked the class.

“Bikinis! Make that lovely, luscious, ladies in bikinis!” Upchuck said.

'Of course he would say that!' Jennifer thought with a slight shake of her head.

“I always look for security guards leading away someone in handcuffs. Shoplifters are the best judges of merchandise,” Jane said.

“I agree. If it's so good that people want to steal it, I want it,” Jennifer said, quietly after exchanging a look with Jane.

“I meant more along the line of the qualities you look for? The stores? What should they be like?” the executive asked, trying to get the conversation away from the topic of shoplifting.

“I have a question. Do you think our demographic can really be addressed by middle-aged middle managers telling us what's fun to buy?” Jodie asked.

The executives looked at each other. It was clear that they didn't expect a student with critical thinking skills to be on the field trip. One of them turned to Daria. “How about you? How many times a year do you go to the mall?”

Daria looked annoyed. “That's none of your business. By the way, don't people usually get paid for participating in market research?”

“Research?” the executive asked in a strangled voice.

“Now, Daria, these busy executives have been nice enough to give their time to help educate us on mall economics,” Mrs. Bennett said. “Tell us about flow, would you?”

Daria leaned between her two friends and pointed to where Brittany was still prancing and making cheer moves. “I bet that's a two-way mirror.”

“Possibly,” Jennifer said.

“You mean, if you turn out the lights you can see through it?” Jane asked as she reached back towards a light switch.

Jennifer shrugged slightly.

“Oh, you don't want to do that!” one of the executives said.

Jane turned off the lights. The students could then see three observers through the glass wall. They murmured amongst themselves.

“This is wrong!” Mack said.

“The focus group is, um, a very important tool in mall management. We thought that with this live demonstration...” One of the executives began. He was interrupted by Jodie.

“I feel used. I feel abused. I feel that this is not a fun mall after all and the media should be made aware of it!”

The executive changed tack. “All right, little lady.” He reached into his pocket. “Here's a coupon for a free frozen yogurt.”

“Don't insult me,” Jodie said with her arms crossed.

The executive reached into his pocket again. “Make it a ten dollar merchandise coupon?”

“You're still insulting her,” Jane said.

One of the other executives held out two handfuls of coupons. “Okay, a twenty dollar merchandise coupon for everyone in the class.”

“You don't get it. There's a principle involved,” Daria said.

“No, there isn't,” Jodie said as she joined most of the other students.

“So much for idealistic youth,” Jane said.

“Yes, there is, damn it!” Daria said. She clenched her fists and moved towards the executives. She quickly found herself being held back by her two friends.

“Whoa there, Daria, cool down!” Jane said.

“Getting into a 'tussle' with the mall executives would not prove anything,” Jennifer said.

Daria calmed down and sat.

“How about a fifty dollar coupon for you, little lady?”

“Don't insult me,” Daria said, repeating Jodie's line from earlier.

The executive held out another coupon. “One hundred dollars, final offer.”

“I'll take it,” Daria said.

“What got into you?” Mrs. Bennett asked.

“Integrity,” Daria said.

“I suppose,” Mrs. Bennett said.

“Good answer,” Jennifer said.

After having looked through other stores, Quinn and her entourage finally found the Cuter Computer store.

“Finally,” she said.

“There is a lot of stuff here,” Wolfgang said as he looked in.

“Of course,” Quinn said.

“What are you getting first?” Xavier asked.

Quinn started walking to the software aisles. “Apparently they have Photoshop Elements 4 on sale,” she said.

“But didn't that just come out this month?” Wolfgang asked.

“Yes,” Quinn said.

Quinn soon found it. “Here it is, Adobe Photoshop Elements 4.” She saw that it was 10% off. She picked it up and handed the package to Wolfgang.

“You are going to make us carry all the stuff?” he asked.

“Of course not! I will carry some of it,” Quinn said.

“Of course,” Wolfgang said.

The sophomore economics students looked at the coupons that they had received.

“Cuter Computer, for all things to do with computers. Aw, man!” Kevin said after looking at his coupon.

“Books by the Ton. Interesting, maybe they have business-related stuff there,” Mack said after looking at his.

Upchuck looked at his coupon “Incensory, for all your incense and related pagan worship needs! I don't have any use for this!”

“Drat!” Andrea Hecuba said as she overheard Upchuck.

“The Doo Dad Shop? What's a Doo Dad anyway?” Jane said.

“Sports Shorts! I don't have any use for shorts for sports!” Daria said.

“Scissor Wizard?” Jennifer said perplexed.

“Probably a store full of scissors,” Jane said.

“Such a store would be quite useless,” Jennifer said.

“Daria, Jen and Jane, you'll observe traffic patterns at the food concessions, and Kevin and Brittany, you will study and report back on shrinkage,” Mrs. Bennett directed.

“What's shrinkage?” Kevin asked.

“Shrinkage is the retailing term for shoplifting. I'd like you to analyze its economic impact. Does everyone else understand their assignments?”

The class murmured in assent.

“Now, we'll meet back here at quarter to three. Remember, area F, section Moss, level three. Got it? F Moss Three.”

Daria, Jane and Jennifer walked away as Mrs. Bennett and Kevin talked about a mnemonic device that he was going to use.

“Where do we start?” Jennifer asked.

“Scissor Wizard, I can actually use a new pair of scissors,” Jane said.

“Of course,” Jennifer said.

Back at Cuter Computer, Quinn and her entourage had gathered much software and hardware. “Have you got everything yet?” Xavier asked when a packet of 1 GB USB flash drives fell of the pile of stuff he was carrying. He put the pile aside and picked the packet up before hefting the pile again.

“Almost,” Quinn said as she took a copy of Age of Empires III off the shelf.

“Were going to need a trolley,” Wolfgang said.

“We'll find the Walmart and borrow a trolley from there, after we're finished here,” Quinn said.

“Great!” Xavier said.

“Here it is, Angejarni,” Sandi said, having located the Fashion Label's store on D Moss 2.

“Why are we here?” Stacy asked.

“Sta-cy, Angejarni is, like heavily featured in Waif,” Sandi said.

“Let's browse,” Tori said. Tiffany followed her in.

“Come on Stacy,” Sandi said.

Stacy sighed and followed Sandi into the store.

Daria and her friends found Book by the Ton, which was larger than an usual outlet of that chain.

“That's a large bookstore!” Jane said.

“Come on, I'd rather be here than anywhere else in the mall,” Daria said.

“Sure,” Jennifer said. They went into the bookstore.

#andrea hecuba #brittany taylor #daria #daria morgendorffer #diane bennett #jane lane #jodie landon #kevin thompson #malled #michael 'mack' mackenzie #quinn morgendorffer #sandi griffin #stacy rowe

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cutshoe15-blog · 5 years

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Game Of Thrones Power Rankings: Medieval ‘I Never’ And Cersei’s Superweapon

Alex Van Mecl for HBO

Boy, if you thought last week’s episode involved some questionable military tactics, this week’s episode must’ve really been a treat.

This episode went from feeling like slightly stilted, expository fan fiction (but funny) — turning “previously on” into a game of medieval “I never” was an interesting choice — to strong conflicts about how to recognize a tyrant, to an episode of Hitler’s superweapon, all while wiping their ass with basic physics. Now, you might say it’s silly to quibble about physics and realistic tactics in a show about dragons and zombies. And to that I say, if you can’t figure out a believable way to fill plot holes in a universe where shapeshifters, talking animals, and powerful wizards exist, what are you even doing?

Down: Daenerys

You know how sometimes you just want to Yaas Qween but the crossbros just won’t let you? Must we relitigate the 2016 primary again?

It’s weird, because this episode was so strong on the subject of trying to recognize a future tyrant and yet so weak on basic physics. I’m just saying, if a fleet of giant crossbow weapons just destroyed one of my dragons and my entire fleet, my first reaction probably wouldn’t be 1) fly my last remaining dragon directly at all of the crossbows while screaming, and 2) conveniently assembling the vanguard of my army well within crossbow range.

When Daenerys first started flying straight at the crossbows I thought, “Oh, maybe she’s drawing their fire, because crossbows are notoriously slow to reload. Or maybe she’s just wheeling around behind them because surely ships can’t turn as fast as dragons.”

But nope, turns out that was just Daenerys blowing off steam. To quote Hot Fuzz, haven’t you ever fired your gun up into the air and gone “aaaarrggh?”

Still, we have to give her a little credit. Things would be better in Westeros if only people would actually listen to Daenerys. Did she not tell Jon that he would ruin everything if he told anyone he was a Targaryen? So what does he do? Tells everyone that he’s a Targaryen, of course, and ruins everything. Way to go, dumbass.

So yes, Daenerys is about to go a little nuts, but can you really blame her?

TORMUND, slapping Jon on the back: What kind of person climbs on a dragon? A madman, or a fucking KING!

DAENERYS: [*angry Tracy Flick music plays in background*]

HBO

Maybe that’s the thing about absolute power. Maybe it only corrupts absolutely because the more power you have, the more dumb bullshit you have to deal with from idiots who drive you crazy. Oh, did you like it when the man rode the dragon? Did you not like it when I was doing it two seasons ago while freeing the slaves, you ungrateful proles!

VARYS: “Hmm, I don’t if we can trust her, she seems a bit nuts.”

Down: Ser Jorah

Helen Sloan for HBO

Dry ol’ Mormont, not even dying for his lady could get him a kiss on the lips. You hate to see it.

Down: Tormund Giant’s Bane

HBO

Poor Tormund, everyone’s favorite party animal, cockblocked by Jamie Lannister, the greatest fuckboi in all of Westeros. “Pardon me, m’lady, it seems I’m having trouble taking my shirt off.”

You hate to see it. Why don’t women ever go for nice guys instead of rich phonies? Then again, maybe Tormund saying “find the coward who shit in my pants” isn’t the greatest pick-up line.

“Women don’t like me here.” Yeah, well virgins don’t either. Know your audience, man.

Up: Euron Greyjoy

HBO

Euron’s collection of flowing scarves and devastating sneers are really helping tide me over while I wait for Young Pope to come back on. It looks like he’s really lucked into a good thing here thanks to Qyburn’s crossbows. And good on him for not snickering when Cersei brought up having a child. “Babe, babe, you’re an aging ex-dowager who’s had three children by her own brother and failed utterly at keeping any of them alive, and I’m considered a Tomcat even by the standards of the race of grumbly, bickering pirates who steal everything they own from which I come. But for sure, yeah, I think we’ll make great parents.”

My man looks like Pacey from Dawson’s Creek.

Way Up: Qyburn

Qyburn is quickly turning out to be the MVP of this whole conflict. You really have to give the guy credit for developing a giant crossbow thingy that can:

-fire massive, dragon-killing bolts thousands of yards. -be mounted on ships and fired at sea -reload almost instantly, despite the fact that the hand-held version are notoriously slow -snipe an animal no one has ever seen before out of the sky with deadly accuracy

…and are apparently light and portable enough to be carried up to the top of a castle’s walls via man and horsepower. Those things are a real game changer. Who knew a necromancer would be so damned good at engineering and organization? The Citadel really has egg on their face for kicking Qyburn out.

Down: Dorn

Hey, where the fuck are you guys? There are only a few episodes left, are you ever going to originate a substantive plot in this show? So far your most valuable contribution is as a place in a song where someone “slept with the Dornishman’s wife.” Cucked province.

Up: Cersei

HBO

I admit, I questioned the wisdom of shacking up with a weaselly, iron-born rebel, but between Euron and Qyburn, Cersei is fast beginning to seem like she has a real gift for staffing. Still, I have to question some of her choices.

For instance: When you take out your enemy’s fleet with giant crossbows and they wash up on the beach, you just let them run off home? Or did they just respawn back in their own lair like a video game? Either way, that seemed like an ideal time for host-crushing. Instead you… took a bed slave hostage? Interesting.

Also: if you dispatch a professional assassin to kill your dwarf brother because said brother is allegedly such a valuable asset to your enemy, and said brother just waddles right into arrow range unarmed, why wouldn’t you just kill said brother? Was it not elaborate enough? I feel like Cersei can’t stand to see her enemies die unless it involves wildfire, necromancy, superweapons, or elaborate schemes. Foolish Tyrion, invoking Cersei’s children. Clearly, it’s the drama that she loves.

Up: Bronn

HBO

Speaking of, how the hell did Bronn just show up alone in a room with the hand of the king and Jamie Lannister in the middle of their entire army? And shhh, quiet, I don’t want the explanation from you. That just seems like something it would’ve been cool to see, and/or have someone on the show question in any way. Instead, they were like “Oh cool, Bronn’s here! That makes sense, he’s definitely a character in this show.”

[*Tommy Wiseau voice*] Oh, hi, Bronn.

Up/Down: Tyrion and Varys

HBO

Thank God for these two, they’re the only ones keeping this show from going completely off the rails (or at least, the ones keeping it semi-watchable even as it leaves the rails far, far behind). It’s nice to watch them discover that perhaps the best person to lead Westeros is the person who’s least interested in leading Westeros. The same rules apply to taking kids on a camping trip.

Still, I have to question Tyrion’s strategy of appealing to Cersei’s better nature. And walking right into crossbow range. And assuming Bronn wouldn’t slap him around just because they had history. Honestly, for a clever character, Tyrion is starting to become a real dumbass.

HBO

Down: Jon Snow

Wow, man. Are you seriously going to pull a Lena Dunham on the dog who just lost an ear protecting you from the undead? Not even one last nuzzle and “who’s a good boy?” Also, way to just let your dragon die, you dumb asshole. Jon’s leadership favorability really starts to take a hit once you factor in pet ownership.

Up: Brienne Of Tarth

HBO

The former Maiden of Tarth got to have two men fight over her, finally got it in, and in the end learned a valuable lesson about thinking you can change the handsome charming rich guy who kills people and fucks his sister. You hate to see it. In any case, it seems like she’s better off. And there’s still time to run through the proverbial airport after Tormund.

Up: Starbucks

Excellent product placement, so subtle I barely noticed.

Still, my favorite Game of Thrones coffee tie-in has to be this one.

Even: Arya Stark

Between “I’m not a lady” and “I respect that,” Arya is getting the most consistently fan-fiction-y dialogue in this show. Still, she managed to make a full recovery from getting stabbed by the Night King in less than a day and made Gendry Baratheon fall in love with her after just one roll in the hay. What tricks did she learn from the Faceless Men? Or maybe Gendry was just smitten ever since he thought she was a young boy named ‘arry. Either way, it was probably smart not to husband that one.

What Will Next Week Bring?

Some Cleghane-on-Clegane action? Qyburn getting a taste of his own dark magic? Greyworm going John Wick on some fools? Dorn… well, Dorn factoring into this story in any way? Daenerys letting those Aerys genes shine through? Necromancy spells (Jon, The Mountain) beginning to wear off? Whatever happens, I just want Davos to be okay.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

Source: https://uproxx.com/tv/game-of-thrones-power-rankings-the-last-of-the-starks/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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