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thebearer · 8 months

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baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.

read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!

contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.

"Shit."

The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.

After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.

You were late.

A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.

You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."

"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"

You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.

"I thought you said you wanted kids?"

"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"

Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."

Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.

You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.

"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.

"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"

"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.

You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.

"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.

Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.

You hoped Carmen would be in them.

That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.

"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.

Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.

Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.

"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.

"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."

The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.

Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."

"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."

"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."

"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."

"Then-Then how the fuck-"

"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.

"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.

"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."

"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."

You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.

"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.

You were alone.

"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"

"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.

"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"

"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.

"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"

"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"

"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"

"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.

Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.

"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."

"I did not-"

"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"

"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.

"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"

"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"

"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."

"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.

"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.

"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.

"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.

"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.

Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.

"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"

Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.

Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."

"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.

"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."

Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"

"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"

"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.

"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.

"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"

"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."

The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.

"You left?"

"You fuckin' what?"

Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.

"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.

"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"

"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"

"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.

"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."

"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"

"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."

Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."

Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?

"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.

Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"

"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"

"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.

"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."

"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.

Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.

Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."

"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"

"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.

"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."

"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."

Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"

"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.

"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.

"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."

Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.

He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.

Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?

You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.

You'd be better without him.

His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.

Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.

It didn't work, of course. It never did.

His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.

You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.

Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.

You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.

The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.

You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.

"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.

"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."

Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.

You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."

Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.

"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."

Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"

"Yeah, I-"

"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.

"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.

"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.

"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.

The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.

"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"

Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"

"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"

"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."

"How you would be?"

"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.

Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."

Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."

"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."

You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.

"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.

"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"

"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."

"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"

Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.

Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"

"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.

"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.

Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."

"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"

"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."

You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.

"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."

"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.

Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"

You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.

"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"

"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."

Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"

"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."

Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.

Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.

For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.

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caramelberzatto · 2 months

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sunshine baby // c. berzatto

pre-fatherhood dad!carm, loosely inspired by the fact it's so hot in australia that it regularly feels like i'm sweating my eyeballs out of my head <3 enjoy!

- clarke xx

(warnings: mildy suggestive content, pregnancy. fem!reader, use of fem pronouns.)

The temperatures in the past week had sky-rocketed, leaving you sweating with even the slightest amount of movement, and that wasn’t taking into account the hot flashes that came with pregnancy. At least the air-conditioning unit hadn’t given up yet, though it rattled ominously every hour-or-so. Whenever it happened, you’d glance at it, expecting it to blow up or break down. But it never did.

Until this afternoon, when you’d just gotten comfortable on the couch, ready to watch some television. The unit had spluttered and hummed, trying its very hardest to work, but eventually let out a long, stuttering creak and fell silent.

You sighed, briefly wanting to sit on the floor and cry. Instead, you dragged yourself to your closet, picked out a simple t-shirt dress, and pulled on some sandals. Braving the heat armed with your sunglasses, keys, and a sudden desire for the world's largest iced latte, you hopped in the car and headed for the nearest drive-thru. While you waited in line, car idling, you thought of Carmy.

He’d left the apartment at five, as he usually did on Friday’s to over-prep for what was usually a particularly chaotic lunch rush, and you’d mumbled a sleepy goodbye, cradling your small bump tenderly. If you’d opened your eyes, you would’ve seen him linger in the doorway, a soft smile on his face.

The bell above the door announced your arrival as you swept into The Bear, balancing two cardboard trays of iced lattes.

Now, in the drive-thru, your hand rested on your stomach, and you smiled as you felt soft kicks against your palm.

“You alright?”

“Coffee’s up,” you called as you stepped into the kitchen, narrowly avoiding Richie storming by in a tuxedo, megaphone in hand. Some things never changed.

“Cousin! Can you watch where you’re fuckin’ goin’, please?!” There was Carmy, his hand on your hip, as he shouted across the kitchen at Richie, who was already out in the back alley, not hearing a word.

“Yeah,” you nodded, setting the coffee down on an empty section of the counter. “The AC broke at home, and I wanted something cold, and then I thought of you, and wanted to see you.”

“Fuck, the AC broke? I’ll get Fak onto it this afternoon.” Carmy cupped your chin, kissing you gently, a stark contrast to the urgency with which he ran his kitchen. “Stay here a while? I’ll make you somethin’, yeah?”

“Okay, Bear, thank you.”

“Nat’s in her office, she’s got the best AC. I’ll bring you a plate soon.”

He kissed you again, a little harder this time, and lingered a little longer than he should’ve. His hands skimmed your stomach, drifted to your waist, holding you against him. To anybody else, it’d just look like a moment of tenderness. But to you… Damn him, he did it on purpose. He knew your hormones were fucking whacked out. And from the look on his face as he pulled away, the subtle smirk, the little glimmer in his eye…

“Mean,” you muttered as he walked away, but you were smiling. That smile only grew as you stepped into Nat’s office, relishing in the fresh wave of cold air that enveloped you instantly. With a sigh, you sat down on the grey couch against the wall, clean fabric soft against your fingertips. You groaned in appreciation, sinking into the cushions.

“Hi, sweetie,” Nat said, smiling. “Comfy enough?”

You hummed, grabbing one of the throw pillows and hugging it to your chest. “I think I dream of this couch sometimes.”

Nat nodded along, knowing exactly how you felt, having spent many hours on the same couch when she, too, had been pregnant. “I’ve just got some paperwork to do, honey, but just let me know if you need anything, okay?”

A dim light filled the room, emanating from the lamp on Nat’s desk, but Nat was nowhere to be found. Blinking sleepily, you rubbed your eyes and propped yourself up on your elbow, wincing at the slight pain in your lower back.

You nodded, adjusting yourself so you were propped up a little better. Fak came in, delivering the coffee you'd brought, and you hadn’t realised until that moment that you’d forgotten all about them. Sighing at your brief lapse in memory, you sipped your iced latte and closed your eyes.

“There’s my girl,” Carmy whispered from where he sat at the opposite end of the couch, his hand resting protectively on your calf. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“What time is it?” Stifling a yawn, you lifted yourself up, back resting against the end of the couch.

“Just past one, baby.”

“One in the morning?”

“Mhmm.”

You groaned, letting your head fall back. “You should’ve woke me up, Carm. We need to go home, you need sleep, too. God knows we won’t get any in five months' time.”

Carmy shook his head, sliding his hands up your shins, rubbing softly, soothingly. He moved to hover over you, resting his forehead against your own. The soft press of his lips was enough to shut you up.

“It’s Saturday, sweetheart, I don’t have to come in until after midday. I just wanted you to get your rest.”

You kissed him back, cupping his jaw in your hands, smoothing your thumbs over the light smattering of stubble. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“S’okay, baby.” he murmured, peppering your face with kisses. One on your forehead, two on the tip of your nose, one on each cheek. And he descended, pressing a particularly delicate one to the side of your neck, just below your jaw. One against the tender spot beneath your ear.

“Carm,” you whimpered, and part of you was embarrassed at how easily he’d set you alight.

He persisted, sliding his knee between your legs, the fabric of your simple dress riding up with the movement. His hands found their way beneath, skimming up your sides, fingertips brushing over your cotton bra. You arched up, already breathless at the slightest touch.

Carmy pulled back, and the way his messy curls fell in front of his face, shadowing his eyes, the way his chest heaved through the tight fabric of his white shirt… It made you want to take back everything you’d just said. To hell with morals.

“So sensitive,” he mused, the reverberation of his words against your skin like the low bassline of some song you’d never heard.

“Carmy,” you whispered, not wanting the moment to end, but knowing it had to. “Carm, baby, I’m not having sex on your sister’s couch.”

“Yeah, no, yeah. You’re right, that would be weird. Disrespectful and stuff.” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. You couldn’t help but laugh, gazing up at him with a soft smile.

“God you’re pretty,” you muttered, propping yourself up on your elbows. Carmy climbed off the couch, taking your hands as you reached out for him, a faint blush staining his cheeks.

“Is that right?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded sleepily, kissing his lips once, twice. “Let’s go home.”

Carmy rubbed your back as he led you out of the restaurant to his car, placing a gentle hand on your stomach as he reached over and secured the seatbelt over your lap. After pressing a kiss to your temple, he shut the door and walked around the hood of the car, running his hand over the cool metal.

The drive home was quiet, accented by the quiet hum of the radio as the city lights flashed by, streets and alleys rolling by. When he finally turned onto the home stretch, you sighed, eyelids heavy.

Yawning, you leaned on him a little as he let himself into the apartment, the jingle of the keys echoing down the entry hall. And so began the nightly dance of winding down together. Carmy started the shower, adjusting the water to the perfect temperature, while you headed to the bedroom and grabbed pyjamas, turning down the covers on your way back. Your fingers threaded in his hair, massaging shampoo into the roots, while his hands rested on your waist.

You drew hearts and stars on the foggy mirror as Carmy finished off, spending an extra minute under cold water. He towelled off your legs so you didn’t have to bend down, despite your argument that your belly wasn’t too big yet and that you could manage just fine.

“Doesn’t matter, I like doin’ it.”

And finally, once you’d brushed your teeth and made sure the door was locked, you climbed into bed. Carmy pulled you into his side, making sure you were comfortable, careful not to put any pressure on your stomach.

The moonlight filtered through the crack in the curtains, and you lifted your hand, letting your fingertips drift through the silvery glow. Carmy slid his hand into yours, holding it to his chest, and you could feel the steady thump of his heart against your knuckles.

“Sleep, baby,” he murmured against the top of your head, pressing a kiss there. And because he asked so nicely, you did as he said.

#the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #jeremy allen white #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #dad!carm #dad!carmen berzatto #carmy x you #carmen x you #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto fanfiction

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moth-pringle · 4 months

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SM Race Hc’s!!

#spooky month #spooky month fanart #bob velseb #spooky month bob #spookymonth #devil guy spooky month #sr pelo #spooky month lila #spooky month art #spooky month streber #spooky month patty #spooky month carmen #spooky month skid’s dad

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aestheticaltcow · 3 months

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Father's Day

Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Just a cute little fluff piece of Dad!Carmy

“Mommy! More glitter?” you shook your head, “I think that’s enough, princess.”. Your five-year-old Andrea shook her head, “I wuv Daddy.” you nodded and thought about her statement, “Okay, so Ms.Andrea, you think the more glitter you use, the more Daddy will know you love him?”. Her little brow furrowed as she thought about what you’d said to her. You couldn’t help but giggle at the fact she and Carmy had the same thinking face. She finally nodded furiously, her soft brown curls bouncing.

“Yo! Baby, you’ll never guess what I got,” Carmy yelled as he walked into the house. He heard Ava squeal and you hushing her. He smiled and walked into the living room to see the two of you drowning in glitter and construction paper, “No wookin' Daddy!” Ava screamed, running toward him at full force. Carmy braced for impact but managed to pick up the small child, and he shot you a look ‘Father’s Day card’ you mouthed. Carmy nodded and picked up his reusable tote bag before carrying Andrea into the kitchen to distract the young girl with his surprise, “When Mommy was pregnant with you… she loved peanut butter.” Carmy said, pulling out a jar from the tote bag. Andrea nodded, kicking her feet while sitting on the counter patiently, “I bought you and Mommy peanut butter cookies.” Andrea smiled making Carmy’s heart swell- she had your smile.

You smiled when you heard squeals coming from the kitchen as you quickly cleared up hiding Carmy’s card in a drawer. You watched from the door frame as Carmy held the girl on his hip in front of the open pantry door. He patiently waited for Andrea to pick out what kind of pasta shape she wanted and you couldn’t help but melt at the sight, watching Carmy be a dad was your favoriate sight to see. You joined the two of them in the kitchen and kissed Carmy’s cheek before stealing Andrea from him, “I hid his card…” you whispered to her.

“Here Daddy!” Andrea yelled as she proudly presented Carmy his Father’s Day card. He smiled even though his pants were now covered with glitter, he smiled “This is beautiful Andi. Thank you.” he looked at the picture of what was meant to be him and Andrea on the front surrounded by glitter hearts and her sloppy handwriting. He squatted down and hugged Andrea tightly before kissing the top of her head. You stood back smiling at the sweet exchange, “Good bye princess. Be good for Mommy okay?” “Okay Daddy!” “I love you.” Andrea giggled and said “I wuv you Daddy!” she let go of Carmy’s neck and ran into the living room.

Carmy turned to you, “I’ll try to get out early, but it’ll probably be the usual time.” you nodded and rubbed your arm nervously. Carmy looked at you as he picked up his backpack from the floor, “You okay, baby?” he questioned when he noticed how tense you were. “I’m pregnant.” Carmy stared at you in disbelief, “Are you fuckin’ with me?” you shook your head and bit your lip nervously. “We’re havin’ another baby?” you nod, and Carmy wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug, swaying slowly. You melt into the embrace, feeling relief after a few weeks of keeping this surprise/secret from him. “You’re gonna be a dad again…”

#the bear #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto one shot #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto fan fiction #the bear fan ficiton #carmy berzatto fan fic #the bear fan fic #dad!carmy x reader #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmy

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daysofyellowroses · 2 months

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strawberry

carmen berzatto x afab!reader | 1.0k | based on this gorgeous request from my angel @thecapricunt1616 🌼🫶🏻💗

It started as a cough.

Then a sniffle.

A little whining.

Then the inevitable cry.

You rolled into your pillow, letting out a soft groan. It felt like you had just closed your eyes and gotten comfortable and now you'd have to get up again. When you pulled the blanket back, you felt Carm's hand touch your arm.

“It's alright,” He yawned. “I got this. You went last time.”

“Are you sure?” You murmured, already pulling the blanket back over yourself. “I don't mind..”

“Nah, you get some sleep babe.”

You didn't need to be told twice, snuggling into the pillow. Through the baby monitor you could hear Carm go into your daughter's room and pick her up to sooth her. She stopped crying after a few moments and you felt yourself relax. It had taken at least fifteen minutes for you to calm her down when you had gotten up earlier in the night, you were convinced your daughter preferred Carm to you. Or he just had some secret trick he was keeping from you.

A little while later, you were just drifting off to sleep when you felt Carmy get back into bed next to you, his arm moving around your waist as he settled behind you.

“She's asleep,” He whispered, gently stroking your waist. “Hopefully she waits a little longer this time, I'm exhausted.”

“I wonder why,” You murmured softly, turning around and burying your head in Carm's chest. “Nobody forced you to try for another one.”

“Didn't hear you complaining,” Carm teased, wrapping his arm around you tightly. “you were very encouraging, actually.”

“Shut up and let me sleep,” You smiled, wrapping your arm around Carm's waist. “Or there won't be any more encouragement.”

It was early in the morning when the cries came through on the baby monitor, the sun barely risen. You placed a kiss on Carm's cheek and slipped out of bed, making your way to your daughter's room.

She had stopped crying, but was still fussing a little. You carefully picked her up, smiling as she nestled into you.

“Come on, let's let daddy sleep.” You smiled, taking her to the changing table and cleaning her up before taking her downstairs.

It was an hour or so later when Carmy came downstairs, giving you and your daughter a kiss before he went to make some coffee.

“Good news,” You smiled, glancing over to Carm. “We can add banana to the list, she loves it.”

You looked back to your daughter, sticking your tongue out and smiling when she laughed.

“Was she okay with it?” Carm asked, looking over to you. “How long has it been since she tried it?”

You rolled your eyes playfully, scooping up the last of the banana on the little bear plate and holding the spoon out for your daughter.

“Like..twenty minutes ago? She's been fine. You can't do this every time we try something.”

“I'm just being careful,” Carm shrugged, getting two mugs from the counter. “But I'm glad she liked it.”

“She loves it,” You grinned, gently stroking your daughter's cheek. “no trips to the ER this time. The doctor will be so relieved.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Carm raised a brow as he placed a mug of coffee in front of you.

“It means that maybe last time someone was a little..intense,” You shrugged, taking a sip of coffee.

“I was not that bad,” Carm scoffed. “I took control of the situation, that's all.”

“So that's why you didn't let the doctor hold our daughter?” You grinned, resting your head on your hand. “And questioned every single thing he did?”

“I was just being a good parent,” Carmy held his hands up, looking over to your daughter with a smile. “She’ll thank me one day.”

A couple of hours later, you took your daughter back into the kitchen for lunch, smiling as you saw Carmy moving about the kitchen, humming along to the radio.

“Someone's prepared,” You smiled, taking your daughter over to her high chair and getting her into it. “What's she trying?”

“Uh..a couple of things,” Carm replied. “I figured we could do some more allergy tests, get it out of the way.”

“That sounds good,” You nodded, giving your daughter a kiss on her head before walking over to Carm and raising a brow.

“What's with the lunchbox?”

“Well,” Carm looked over to you and you let out a soft sigh. “I just thought it would be safer if we got her to try at the hospital. Then we don't have to rush over there.”

You nodded slowly, gently touching your boyfriend's arm.

“I love you, and because of that I am going to tell you that you're crazy.”

“It's just good sense,” Carm insisted. “you'll see.”

An hour later, you found yourself biting your tongue and holding back a laugh as you sat on a bench outside the ER. A very exasperated Carmy was sitting next to you, your daughter in his lap.

“We could just leave this for another time,” You suggested, glancing down to the still full lunchbox in your hand. “If she's not hungry we can't force her.”

“She's gotta eat eventually,” Carm sighed, holding up a piece of egg to your daughter and sighing as she turned away from it. “Oh come on..”

“Are we really just going to sit here all day?” You asked, laughing softly as your daughter reached towards the lunchbox for a strawberry.

“Hey, egg first,” Carm frowned, shuffling back a little. “just try it..” He huffed as your daughter got distracted by a butterfly flying past. “babe we’re not doing this at home, last time we almost hit that elderly man in the parking lot trying to get to the ER entrance.”

“Uh, excuse me, you almost hit that elderly man,” You raised a brow, setting the lunchbox aside. “and we are trying this at home. If she has a reaction I will take her back her, okay?”

“Fine,” Carm nodded, letting out a sigh. “But just one more try.”

#the bear #the bear 🐻#the bear fic #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #tooth rotting fluff #i loved writing this #dad!carmy is my fave

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gallaghrh · 9 months

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some dad!carmen thoughts

when you were pregnant carmen was super anxious about anything going wrong. you had to constantly remind him you couldn't control what happened.

has marcus make your gender reveal cake and it was beautiful

towards the end of your pregnancy, he had you stay at the restaurant so he could keep an eye on you and your water broke at the bear during family.

was freaking out more than you were on the drive to the hospital. after a couple of minutes of driving, he was comforting you and saying words of affirmations for the whole journey.

when your baby is born he’s in awe at how beautiful she is and how similar she looks to you.

nervous when you take her home but you assure him he’s gonna be a perfect dad.

when she wakes up crying carmen gets up, letting you sleep, to soothe and put her back to sleep.

cuts down his smoking because he knows you are not a fan of it and hurt the baby

constantly cooking for you and the baby.

when your daughter goes to nursery/daycare he cries but you remind him she's only gone for 3 hours.

loves when you come to the restaurant, the whole restaurant loves you and tina loves watching your sweet baby.

makes her the cutest bento boxes for school every day.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x black reader #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto #the bear #dad!carmen #jeremy allen white x reader #jeremy allen white #carmy berzatto x you

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answer2jeff · 3 months

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i was just thinking about dad!carmy missing his wifey when she's on a girls trip for the first time since their daughters birth and anxiously waiting for her to call him...

valeria has just been put to sleep after a seemingly endless hour and a half of rocking, soothing, and shushing.

"relax baby, mommy's gonna be home before you know it," carmy says, kissing the top of valeria's head and wincing a bit when her little fist tightens around his thick index finger. "yes i know," he sighs as she lets out one last wail of 'mama' followed by incoherent babbles before her body begins to relax at the sound of her daddy's soothing hums. no one is exactly sure where the song came from. maybe it's a pre-existing song further expanded on with different notes. maybe it's a whole new song with a lack of words he made just for his little girl.

carmen's back is sore and his hands mourn the weight of his precious girl in his arms, even if he's more than happy that she's finally at peace in her crib. the reality of his temporary loneliness really sets in the moment he closes the door to his daughters nursery.

he tries to distract himself from the sight of your nearly empty home. he's been wiping down the perfectly spotless kitchen counter with a microfiber towel for the last 3 and a half minutes while he scrolls aimlessly through your Instagram with his free hand, smiling to himself with every photo of you glistening in the summer heat. a margarita in one hand, a friends shoulder in the other. he's always thought you're the most beautiful when you're happy. with the sand in between your toes, salt water frizzing up your hair, the sun caressing the spots of your skin he wished he was the one to hold and kiss—seeing you free warms something in him.

meanwhile, you're falling onto your back and feeling the silky cold fabric of your hotel room bed against your skin. the bikini you've had on for hours is still a little damp from the ocean. it makes you shiver. you giggle at your 2 friends who pile into your shared bathroom, ready to puke and laugh and cry at their sickness from alcohol. you decide that you should kill some time before it's your turn to shower and boil yourself in delicious hot water. the balcony calls your name, and you quickly grab your phone from your beach bag, getting up to slide the glass door open to your left. the air feels warm and sweet against your sunkissed skin. your bare feet patter against the concrete foundation before you lean against the railing. you don't even bother to check anyone else's attempts at communication with you today. carmen is the only thing on your mind.

carmen nearly jumps at the sound of his cellphone vibrating against the bathroom sink. he quickly spits the minty toothpaste out of his mouth and accepts your call, raising it to his ear and wiping the corner of his lip.

"hey, baby," he breaths into the line, smiling almost uncontrollably as he drops his toothbrush back in the mug. the absence of yours with that pink little clip that covers the bristles is so disheartening. it's kinda silly, the way he frowns at the missing pieces of you all around your house.

"hi!" you chew on your bottom lip. it's like you're hearing his voice for the first time again. the petname sends butterflies swarming through your stomach. hell, even with a ring on your finger, it feels like you'd just met yesterday. the sound, smell, and feeling of him could never get old.

carmen yawns, leaning back on the bed and feeling his stomach drop when the little dip in the memory foam mattress has completely raised up to its original form. god, he misses the weight of your presence. but he tries to keep it cool.

"i was just thinkin' about you. well, i've been thinking about you this whole weekend," he laughs, running his hands through his sweatlogged curls. "glad you called."

"i know," you whine, "me too. missing you both, actually." your head feels fuzzy when carmen's little huff of agreement hits your ears. for a moment, his calm attitude surprises you. but maybe it shouldn't. he insisted you should go on this 2 day trip, swearing up and down he could handle being with valeria for a little over 48 hours.

"missing you so much more."

you didn't doubt his ability to keep his temper down and his self-discipline up when taking care of her, but you almost felt a little guilty.

"how are things?" you anxiously ask. carmen goes to answer dishonestly, but you quickly clarify. "and before you tell me, i know things have probably been kinda crazy. but oh my god, carmy, thank you for letting me do this. really, i mean—"

"what?" he cuts you off with a chuckle. "letting you? baby, you—you needed it. fuck, you earned it." carmen sits up in disbelief. it pains him knowing he can't fill in the much needed space of valeria's mother, but the guilt of ever daring to ask you to fly back home would kill him even faster. all he wanted was for you to be happy. even if that required sacrifice. especially since he knew deep down you did that for him every single day, even if you didn't notice it.

"mhm."

"i'm so glad you're having fun. things have been hectic, but i'm managing, okay? valeria has just been..." carmen pauses, gnawing at the inside of his cheek and pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to find the right words.

you relax a bit, letting out a deep sigh of relief. but the anxiety still eats at you. the feeling of your bikini strings digging into your skin and the sand on your inner thighs forming what would soon become a rash if you didn't shower soon certainly wasn't helping with your situation.

"...tough recently. that's all. nothing for you to worry about."

"i know, i know. i just—i don't know. i feel bad. like, my mom instincts are screaming 'go home and take care of your daughter like a proper mother you sick, sick woman! you're not a teenager anymore! god, your poor husband is taking time off of his career too! not just you,' y'know?"

the attempt of trying to make some light out of your guilt just comes out awfully sad. carmen sighs, wishing he could just envelop you in his arms right then and there and drag you back into bed, kissing and squeezing and softly biting your neck and shoulders. but his needs can be dealt with when you get back. this, your sanity and your happiness, is far more important.

"try not to even think about it like that, sweet girl. just enjoy yourself. promise me you'll do that? not just for me, but for you?"

you nod, humming in agreement and sitting down on the cheap plastic chair on the balcony. you knew he was right. carmen spends next few minutes whispering over and over again how wonderful of a person, wife, and mother you are. he assures you that this is right and that it's good for you. oh, how he wishes he could take every worry that ails you and toss it away. or even carry it on his own shoulders if he absolutely had to.

"call me when you get to the airport on monday, okay?"

"okay, i will. i'll text you as soon as i take off and as soon as i land. promise."

"alright, thank you. g'night, baby. get some sleep so you can have even more fun tomorrow."

"yeah, yeah. okay. gotcha."

"i love you."

"i love you, carmy."

"so much," he breaths.

"so much," you reply.

taglist : @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria

#carmen berzatto #ugh this was so cute #also i wrote this in 30 minutes please excuse me if there are any typos!!#carmen berzatto blurb #dad!carmy x mom!reader #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x fem!reader #carmy berzatto

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purposechef · 4 months

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Getting hitched on their day off.

#sydcarmy #syd x carmy #carmy x syd #carmen x sydney #the bear fanart #illustration #my art #black and white #the bear fx #line drawing #artists on tumblr #they both have spoons in their back pockets #biggest criers at the ceremony: syd's dad and pete

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laiiaaa · 7 months

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MY LOVE, MINE ALL MINE — CARMEN BERZATTO 1. BUTTERSCOTCH — you finally say hello to a familiar face in the city after a little girl bumps into you. (2.7k) masterlist | next | taglist

Carmen keeps track of the running grocery list in his head:

Green onions? Check. Shallots? Check. Rolled oats? Check.

“Alright,” he huffs into the phone, a stupid thing tucked snug between his shoulder and jaw.

“Carm, I’m serious—”

“Nat, I got it, alright? I’ll call the fuckin’ guy.” Strawberries? Check. Eggs? Check. “I’m at the store, ‘n I’ll be back, ‘n then I’ll call him. It’s fine.” Dino nuggets? Check. That way-too-sugary cereal Sofia likes—? Even though he wishes Richie never gave it to her—? Check, check, check, so fuckin’ checked. “Now, do you wanna talk to—”

He looks to his side, where Sofia once stood with chubby little fingers hooked on the cart, that raggedy old stuffed animal always caught in the other fist. Gone. Carmen’s heart stops and catches in his throat.

Natalie’s voice again, much quieter now that the phone’s not at his ear. “Hello?”

He doesn’t even hear his sister, doesn’t process her words.

He turns around. “Sof?” But she’s not there.

He tries again, facing forward, a little louder. “Sofia?” Nothing. “Fuck,” he mumbles to himself, ending the call without a second thought. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—”

He shoves his phone into his pocket, abandons the cart altogether, pokes his head into the aisle over. “Sofia.” Nothing. “Shit—”

He can’t breathe. A closed fist shoots to his chest to try and soothe the droughted ache. The ceiling’s closing in from above, every aisle looks the same, his feet are too heavy to carry him fast enough through the store.

Where’s his fuckin’ kid?

You’re spooked out of a fatigued trance by a clumsy little girl at your feet in the produce section.

She can’t be older than four, her chubby little face framed by golden brown curls, dressed in a cute little black dress and pink tights, ballet flats to boot. By her hand is a well-loved stuffed animal: an orange tabby cat with lint fuzzies along its body, teetering on the edge of the display about to fall into the lettuce.

“Well, hello,” you start.

She peeks up at you through stray curls with a grin. “Hi.”

You do a quick scan of the immediate area but spot nothing other than a worker stocking bananas twenty feet away, another pushing a cart of mangoes. “Where’d you come from, hm?” You perch down next to her and try to offer a warm smile to keep her calm.

“I’m here with my daddy.”

“Yeah? Where’s he at?”

Her lips, shiny with drool, puff into a pout. “I…” Her little voice wobbles, and you know that fucking wobble, that precursor to something uncontrollable and wretched, and for a split second you consider letting her cry, just on the off chance her dad hears it.

But you come to your senses: it’ll take all but five, no more than ten minutes to cover the entire store ground. You graze your hand by her back and offer her the sorry excuse for a cat. “Hey, don’t worry, it’s alright. I’ll help you.”

“B-But…” Those pretty brown eyes of her turn glassy, ready for tears, and her lip quivers, her cheeks puff out.

“I’ll help you find him, okay? We’ll wait right here, and I promise he’ll find you. We won’t leave this spot til he does.”

She hesitates before she nods, gives you a warbled, “Okay.”

You give her your name—something you read or heard from word of mouth, how putting a name to your face makes you more trustworthy. “What’s yours?”

“...Sofia.”

“Sofia,” you repeat. “That’s a very pretty name.”

The dimples that come through with her smile have you swooning, your chest filling with something sweet. A supercut you’ve long since abandoned flits through one of the best and worst years you’ve endured: kisses at the door for hello and goodbye, chilly Chicago mornings spent in someone else’s sheets, serving coffee in thick handmade mugs and being thanked for it with lips pressed to your cheek. But that was a year ago, and it’s long gone. You’re better off now—occupied with work, and running a business, and trying new things, and finding comfort in the solitude of an apartment that’s filled with nothing but the smell of coffee grounds.

Your pointer finger lifts her toy’s head: “And who’s this?”

“Butterscotch,” she says, Butter sounding a whole lot like Buttah.

“Yeah? Where’d you come up with that name?”

“My daddy’s a chef, he teached it to me.”

A chef, you hum, No wonder he’s here at seven in the morning.

And you do just about everything you’d want someone to do if this were your kid: you keep her right where she is like you promised her, you listen to all her stories she has with Butterscotch, you answer the silly questions she asks while she holds your finger in a squishy hand and bears a gummy smile.

Until—

A man wrought with stress approaches. Fitted white tee, loose denim on his hips, beat up Nikes that’ve probably seen better days. Golden brown curls like the little girl’s, only thicker, darkened with age, and half-straightened, probably from the way he runs his fingers through them like he does as he walks toward you and the girl. Buff arms, built shoulders, and they’re littered with tattoos…

Not what you expected. And he looks so fucking familiar, yet you can’t put your finger on it—

“Sofia,” he huffs, and she scurries over to him in tiny yet quickened steps and jumps into his arms, his eyes closing and brows furrowing with a relief that’s palpable as he tucks his nose into her swirling hair. “What’d I tell you about comin’ to the store w’me, huh?” A veiny hand with the letters S O U inked on the fingers cups the back of her head as he sways her from side to side, failing to give her much of a stern look at all despite his frustration. “You gotta stay by my side, I told you, you’ll get lost.”

“But I wasn’t lost, Daddy,” she pouts, “I was right here, and—and I had to find Butterscotch, and you—you weren’t there—”

“Okay,” he soothes, rubbing his hand along her back before he thumbs away budding tears from her fleshy cheeks. “Okay, hon…” He props her at his hip. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You just scared me ‘s all, alright? Didn’t know where you were, had me lookin’ all over for you.”

“...I’m sorry,” she mumbles, clearly upset, nuzzling into her dad’s shoulder as he presses a sweet kiss to her head.

He looks to you, then, and you lend him a sympathetic smile.

“Sorry about her, she’s, uh…” He peeks at her, so lovingly— “She can be a handful sometimes.”

“No, don’t apologize, she was great.” Your eyes drift to his hands. They’re big, strong, like he knows what to do with them around the house, with a baby girl...with her mother, too, though you wonder where that stands. You try not to. “She’s talkative, makes for a fun conversation. A great storyteller, too.”

He smiles, and it’s hearty, with a twitch of a brow as he draws just a bit closer—it’s slight, so slight you almost think you’re imagining things. “Think so? She doesn’t usually, um…doesn’t usually wanna talk to people, y’know?” He hikes her up again, and she turns so that she’s facing you. “Get all grumpy, don’t ya, Sof? Like with your Uncle Richie?”

“But she’s nice,” she chimes in, lifting her head from his shoulder and leaving the cat’s head peeking through. “Not mean like he is.”

Again with that smile, he looks at her with raised brows, bobs her up and down as he holds her tight, like she’s his entire world. “Yeah?” He shoots you back a look, half-impressed. “You don’t wanna see him today, huh?”

“No,” she grumbles, face smushed into his tee. “Can she come to work with us instead?”

“Sof…” He scoffs, cocking his head to the side, and his eyes dart between you and his girl. “That’s not—we can’t just—”

“Pretty please, Daddy…” She pouts at him, pulls on his neck with her arms looped around it, starts trying to lean back to stir up trouble but his hands hold her firm to his torso. “You said Eva and Vivi can’t play today…”

“I—I know, hon— . . . It’s just— . . .” Kissing his teeth, he contemplates for a moment. “She probably has work to do, y’know? Just like I have to work? And how sometimes you can’t come with me?”

“Where does she work?”

“Uhhh…” In an awkward pause, he seems to realize the dilemma. The expectant glance your way is almost painful. “Shit,” he hisses, holding Sofia with one hand to run fingers through his hair, “I’m sorry, I should’ve—I should introduce myself, right?” The pained look on his face makes you think the question is genuine, and he offers his right hand to you— “I’m Carmen, but, um, most people just call me Carmy.”

It clicks: He’s Carmen Berzatto. Not just some guy or some chef in the grocery store you’ve happened to meet, but the guy. The guy who owns the fine dining joint across the street from your cafe; the guy who showed up to the city a few years ago only to revamp his family-owned sandwich shop in its entirety; the guy you’d heard so much about from the gossip around the block between vendors; the guy who left his roots to be something so much bigger than anyone could’ve imagined; the guy who came back with a reputation with none to rival and a shattered family in its shadow. The prodigal son of Chicago. You heard of him but never met.

“Y-Yeah, right, right,” you nod, stumbling for the right words. “I thought you looked kinda familiar.” You take his hand graciously as you give him your name. His handshake is firm, solid, sure of himself, with a callused palm and dry skin and cracked knuckles, an inked-on hand with a knife through its palm on the back of his hand. “You own The Bear, right?”

“I do.” Sheepish, like it’s embarrassing to be successful.

“Cool, cool, I’ve, um, I’ve heard a lot of good things about it, but I’ve never been.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Something warm in your belly comes to the surface and you try to drown it. “I own the cafe across the street—? Just a, uh, a smaller place—” You shake your head as if to dismiss the thought of him even knowing about it. “I dunno if—”

“No, no, yeah, I know that one, a few doors down—” he nods, fervently— “Etta’s, right?”

You smile. He knew of it so quick, with so little detail you want to think it means something. “Yeah, that’s the one.” For fuck’s sake, the guy probably just likes to support his local businesses. Get a grip.

“My sister loves that place, goes there all the time. But I, uh…” A soft smile at his girl. “I don’t usually have much time to go myself…”

“Yeah, I can imagine you’re pretty busy with her.” Unless her mom is in the picture…?

But he doesn’t take the bait—he only smiles, hums with a subtle nod, gives Sofia a pat on the back to get her attention, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Hey, cub, guess what?”

She comes to only slightly, with pale blonde locks like angel’s hair tickling Carmen’s neck. Grumbles something akin to a Hm?

“You know those chocolate chip muffins you like? The ones your Aunt Natalie gets for you?”

Her curls are already caught in her eyelashes. “With the sparkles on top?”

He gives you a knowing look: sugar, not sparkles. “Yes, with the sparkles. Did you know our new friend here runs that shop?”

Her head perks up with a gasp. “What?” Her excitement is so soft, and she can’t even stave off a smile now, tiny teeth shining through to show the dimples in her cheeks again.

“You heard me.”

From her mouth is only a whisper, a doe-eyed look targeted right at you. “No way.”

You smile at her. “Yes way.”

She puts on those puppy dog eyes, looks at Carmen with a pout as she tugs on him again. “Daddy, can we please—”

In one fell swoop, his hand whisks her hair out of her face. “Uh-uh. Nice try.”

Oh, but she’s a stubborn one. “But please—”

“Not today, baby, we gotta finish shopping, hm? Then go to work?” His eyes dart to meet yours in a knowing glance, a silent apology and excuse to leave. “Maybe I’ll ask Aunt Natalie to get them for you tomorrow. How’s that sound?”

She huffs and buries herself into his neck again, turning away from you now that she’s in a surly mood.

“Okay,” he sighs, smiling to himself, and you can’t deny the comfort in seeing his little girl so cozy with him, like he’s either the only parent around, or he’s really just that good of a father—and husband, or fiancé, or boyfriend, or whatever he might be. You don’t know if you should feel guilty for wanting to pry.

The conversation lulls to a hesitant stop, like neither one of you is sure how to bid farewell—or whether you want to do so at all.

“Y’know,” he starts, with a finality to his tone, “I’ve still gotta—”

“Yeah, me too—”

“And I left the cart in the other aisle—”

“Right, right, of course—”

“And they need me at the—”

“Same here, I need to, uh—”

“Right, yeah, so um—”

“Yeah—”

“I guess I should—”

“Probably—”

“And, uh—…”

“It was nice to meet you, though,” you finish, maybe a little too enthusiastic for only having just done so minutes ago.

But if it were, Carmen doesn’t show it. “Yeah, it was nice to meet you, too. I’ll, uh…I’ll see you around.”

You offer a softened smile. “Guess so.”

And he leaves you with a curt nod before he turns around with Sofia’s face smushed into his shoulder, her arms loosely wrapped around his neck to leave Butterscotch hugged to the nape of it. That’s all you see, then: just a beaten up stuffed animal and springy golden curls as Carmen rounds the corner of the aisle, your breath gone short and face gone warm by the end of it.

Half of it, you’re sure, is the simple brevity of it all: consoling a lost child, to chatting with her father, to finding out he’s a business neighbor. And against your better judgment, the other half of it is a twinge of attraction to him. Even though he has a kid, and he may very well be married, or at least in a relationship, and by the looks of it, stressed out of his goddamn mind…

But there’s just something about him.

The way he was worried about his daughter like he’s supposed to be, the way he holds her and dotes on her and rubs her back like it’s nothing but natural to him, the heartwarming smile that reaches his eyes just by looking at his precious girl. The hard-earned strength in his hands and arms, the symbolic imagery of his tattoos that you’ve yet to dwell upon in late night hours, the awkward demeanor about him like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to talk to you—or if he even knows how. And all this, you see in a man working down the street, a man you’ve never spoken to until today, who could be the worst person in the world for all you know.

You don’t, is the thing. You don’t know his middle name, or his favorite color, or favorite food, or where he’s even worked, really, other than here in Chicago. You don’t know if Sofia’s mother is still around, or whatever happened to her if she isn’t, or if it’s a topic he breaches freely or not at all.

You don’t know enough about him yet to judge. You don’t know much at all. You don’t know if you want to, whether it’ll send you head first into a mess of pasts not unlike the one you’ve been trying to crawl out of alone for the past grueling months, if it’d upturn all the good you’ve tried to make stick.

But if there’s one thing you do know, it’s that you want to see him again.

And that you’ll have to make a batch or two of muffins first.

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@knight4xmas @ajourneyforjoy @penguin876

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #dad!carm #jeremy allen white #carmy the bear #the bear x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fic #the bear #the bear hulu #the bear fx

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thebearer · 3 months

Note

i can’t imagine the rage carmy would have if donna ever said anything about you, or even if you were pregnant or just had the baby, and she was like “i was already back to work” or something to make you feel bad about yourself as a new mom

the rage. oh, the rage. he would lose it, absolutely lose it. the second your face fell, especially if you were having some postpartum depression or just overall anxieties? he's going for blood.

"yeah, and that turned out great, right? mother of the year? your son fuckin' shot and killed himself, ma." carmen would sneer, already grabbing teddy's stuff, a gentle hand ushering the two of you away while he's tearing into her.

"a great fuckin' mom. you-you fuckin' wish you could care about a kid the way she does, alright? you didn't give a shit about any of us."

"carmen anthony, that is not true-"

"-oh? you're still downing, what, four bottles a day? you chose that shit over any of us every fuckin' day, and you're gonna say somethin' about my wife?"

you're pulling him out, trying to get him to calm down. it doesn't help your stress, your guilt, but you do appreciate him standing up for you.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #dad!carmen berzatto #dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader #donna berzatto #dorothea “teddy” berzatto

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ariisheresstuff · 4 months

Text

Falls and Puddles

Pairings: Dad!Carmy x Mom!Reader

Summary: You and Carmy are watching your 5 year old daughter Kennedy ride her bike in the rain and through the big puddles, however, she ends up losing her balance and falling into a massive puddle crying.

Genre: Fluff + Comfort

Warnings: Crying, mentions of cuts, injuries

MasterList

A/N: My requests are open, have a good day!

You were standing outside of your porch with Carmy watching Kennedy ride her bike in the puddles while it was raining, she had on her pretty pink rain coat with her pink boots. You leaned into Carmen’s side as he wrapped an arm around you to bring you closer.

“She’s getting better at riding her bike babe.” You said as you looked up at Carmen who had a smile on his face watching Kennedy giggle as the water splashed on her.

“She is, Richie and Ava have been helping her actually.” He said making you smile more

“You never told me.” You said with a tease making Carmen chuckle before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s a secret babe.” You rolled your eyes before lightly laughing as you continued to watch Kennedy.

Kennedy rode her bike through a large puddle before she lost her balance and fell off her bike, straight into the massive puddle. You gasped.

“Shit.” Carmy muttered before quickly going down the steps of the porch and running across the street to Kennedy. You followed him quickly. That’s when you heard the heartbreaking wail of your daughter.

“Daddy!!!” She called out through her sobs as she sat in the puddle all drenched.

“Oh,Kenzie girl c’mere, did you fall?” Carmen cooed as he helped Kennedy up only she raised her arms up wanting to be carried by her dad, Carm quickly picked her up not caring she was getting his clothes drenched.

“Oh honey, are you okay?” You cooed to the crying girl as you picked up her bike following Carm back to the house.

“I-I fell.” Kennedy said through hiccups making your heart break. Carmen frowned as he placed kissed on his little girls head while rubbing her back.

“We’re gonna get you cleaned up okay? I’m sure you don’t have any boo boos though.”

Kennedy wrapped her arms around Carm’s neck as she snuggled into his neck just wanting her dad’s presence. Carmen hummed as he pecked her head.

“You’re okay baby, I promise. It wasn’t your fault, it’s slippery out there yeah?” He cooed as you followed him up the stairs placing her bike on the porch before Carmen placed Kennedy down making her whine.

“Can you sit for me princess? Right here on the step, I’m gonna get the water out of your boots.” Kennedy only shook her head as she whimpered. You frowned.

“Please baby? Daddy is only gonna take the water out of your boots, promise. Please?” You asked her making her whine before she slowly sat down. “Good girl.” You ran a hand through her hair soothing the poor girl.

Carmen room off her boot before placing it upside down as a puddle of water came out her boots. He placed them by the door before picking up Kennedy again. “We’re gonna get you some fresh pair of clothes okay?” Kennedy nodded as Carm went upstairs to her room.

You waited in the living room with a first aid kit just in case she had any cuts. You heard Carmen’s footsteps down the stairs, he was still carrying Kennedy who had a pair of fresh new clothes. Carmen sat by you with Kennedy on his lap who snuggled into his chest still hiccuping. You gave him a sad frown before looking at the little girl.

“Any boo boos?” You asked softly as Carmen rubbed her back as he pecked her head a few times.

“Small cuts on her knee, nothing serious.” Carm said as he pulled her pajama pants up to show you her knee. A minor red cut.

“Which bandaid you want baby?” You said as you pulled out a little box of Barbie and Disney Princess bandaids, Kennedy sniffled before pointing to the Barbie ones. You smiled before taking a bandaid and placing it on the small cut, you kissed her knee before gently rubbing it. “All better.” You sighed making Kennedy smile a bit.

“You smiling?” Carmen said in a teasing tone making the little girl smile more, he tickled her making her squeal making you smile at the moment.

Carmen then stood up, picking up Kennedy before looking down at you. “I’m gonna start dinner, Kenzie is deciding what we eat tonight. Aren’t we princess?” Carmen cooed making Kennedy hide her face in his neck making you chuckle a bit.

“So, what’s for dinner chef?” You said as you both looked a the little girl who then looked down at the floor shyly.

“Ice cream and waffles.” She said softly with a smile, you looked at Carmen who had a smirk on his face. You shook your head.

“You heard the chef babe.” You crossed you arms before smiling at the two.

“Ice cream and waffles it is.” You placed a kiss on the girls head making her giggle before you cupped Carmen’s face and placed a loving kiss on the corner of his lips making Kennedy turn away in disgust. You and Carmen just laughed as you continued to tease the little girl by placing loving pecks on each other.

Tag-List: @otomefan @chunnies @slasherstories123 @avengersfan25 @th3h0nkz

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