After that little event that almost scared me for life,Tara went back to her usual self and honesty it was good cuz I didn't want to know what she could do to me if I hadn't helped her with body.But now I hate it because she's going to school with me and that made feel almost dreadful cuz the thought of HER murdery intenion walking through my school was nerve racking but she had made up her mind so there's no going back.
Once we got to the school,the crowd of people flooded the hallway with chattering voices but I head to my locker to get my suplies for my first period class and again SHE followed me to my locker.When I finally got to combination to my locker I opened it and grabbed my stuff for history class but when I closed it
"hey Shawn how you doing?"
I jumped making the door of my locker slam shut
O-oh hi Jessie Jesus you scared me" "sorry I didn't mean to scare you I just went to check up on you because you it looks like stressed... are you ok?" I looked at her and still questioning her qiuite bad English but she was transferred student from Germany so I didn't judge. "Yeah I'm ok you?" "good,who’s your friend there?
mmmmmmmmm it’s Evil now to hc caduceus as anything other than a gay-who-is-not-also-ace apparently. bc--apparently--taliesin said sth about coming back gayer after molly died. & that counts for wordofgod that clay is just super fuckin gay-and-not-also-ace. & so therefore to look at how ambiguously clay’s been played in the queer department & go “hm that looks like an aroace or possibly gay ace, mine now” is bad & wrong & homophobic, as it turns out
also, apparently--bc i am being kinder here in this repeating of things that i have heard--apparently “ace” also always automatically means aro. bc ppl are like “u can’t hc him ace!! tal said he was gonna be gayer than molly!!!” as though u can’t. be both ace & gay. (and like in point of fact yeah i do think this loser pink cow man is both aro & ace, so it’s kind of whatever--but like they’re being inaccurate & presumptuous sooo i’m complaining anyway)
but anyway. in conclusion. isn’t that some fascinating new informationes
“we’ve now officially had caduceus longer than mollymauk” ....?? have we though? like correct me if i’m wrong but there was definitely a gap in there of at least 1 episode where there was neither caduceus nor molly, correct? cad didn’t come on the scene til 2.28? yes? meaning 26 + 1 episodes without caduceus, for a total of 27. subtracted from the current 52 total that makes 25 episodes with caduceus? yes? unless i miscount? meaning molly should in theory still have been in more episodes than caduceus? unless i’m just really terrible at math, which is entirely possible
i feel like both caleb & nott are at least passively suicidal
caleb in that he probably feels that he should die for what he did, and probably wants to die some or even most days--but he can’t, of course, because he doesn’t deserve an escape like that, that’s too easy, too kind to him and too unfair to his parents. no, he has to live with what he’s done, suffer the guilt, fix things. there is work to do. he can’t die. (not yet.)
whereas nott, i think, absolutely does not want to die. nott is terrified of dying, and always has been, and has only gotten progressively more terrified since she actually died. and besides that she still has to fix herself, has to get back home to luke, to yeza. so she doesn’t want to die, she doesn’t, she doesn’t, she just--also doesn’t want to live like this, is all. in this shape, as a goblin, without her family and losing her memories of them and knowing all the time she’s not worth anything, not really. she doesn’t want to live like this. (but she has to.)
and caleb--caleb is careful to stay alive. caleb keeps away from danger, whenever he can, keeps to the back in a fight, keeps himself safe. he throws himself forward sometimes when people he cares about are in particular danger, especially nott, but he weighs the odds, if they are not in his favor he runs. he doesn’t tempt fate. (even if he wanted to, even if he wanted to, and sometimes he does--he is not allowed.)
but nott--nott isn’t careful at all. nott is reckless and nott is quick and nott throws herself into the fire (into the water) again and again and again for the people she loves--a group that keeps expanding and expanding and expanding because nott has so much love in her tiny goblin heart for everyone around her except herself. because she doesn’t want to die, but she also doesn’t want them to die, and if it comes down to her or them--well, that’s an easy choice. she’s made it before. she’ll make it again. (at least her death would mean something. her life certainly doesn’t.) so nott tempts fate constantly, constantly, for everyone she loves, and fuck the consequences. (because nott doesn’t want to die, she doesn’t want to die, she doesn’t--but she doesn’t want particularly want to live, either, and it shows.)