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luna666us · 3 years

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Unknown Relationship pt.1

This is that Felix x reader that my friend asked for.

Here you go lily I hope you enjoy

“He’s just so sweet.” Wendy had been talking for twenty minutes straight and I had yet to type even a single word for my book. I’m just sitting there in my plaid widow outfit looking bored out of my mind. then my phone chimed. Thank the gods. It was from Felix. I smiled. “who is it, Y/n?” She asks. “Felix.” I say. “Ooooooo.” She whoops while raising her eyebrows up and down. I laugh and hit her with a pillow. “shut up.” I say. I pick up my phone and read. “Hey, Y/n” I read. “Hey, Felix. What’s up” I replied. Then Wendy starts laughing. “I ship it.” She says. I make a face. “what! Eww! I don’t think of him like that.” I protest. She laughs. “sure,sure.” She answers. Then my phone chimes again. “I’m good. How’s the book coming along so far” he asks. I roll my eyes. “It would be if Wendy would get off my back for two seconds. It Pan this, and Pan that. Pan, Pan, Pan, Pan. I’m sick and tired for hearing how sweet Pan is. If only she actually knew him.” I start venting. I’m about to put my phone down when it chimes again. “That was fast.” Wendy says playfully. “oh shut up.” I say. Then I read his text. “You could come over to my place and we’ll work on the book together.” He suggested. My eyes light up. “really, that would be great. Thanks Felix I’ll be there in five.” I answer. then I get an immediate response. “no prob. Kay I’ll wait for you.” I read. I smile. “I’m going over to Felix’s place to work on my book so you can spend the rest of your night texting Pan.” I say. She giggled. I get up and grab a backpack and stuff my, phone, laptop, and some cloths in case it gets cold at Felix’s and I can change, and strap my skateboard onto it. Then I point at her with an apple in my hand. “Stay out of my room and behave.” I say. She salutes me. “mam yes mam!” She says. I laugh once and we head out of my room. I close the door and lock it with a key and put the key in my pocket. Then I wave my hand over the door knob and lock it with magic so that she can’t brake in. Then I grab my boots and head out. I get on my black and red motocross bike, and I drive off, and soon I make it to Pan, and Felix’s apartment. I grab my stuff and I chain up my bike. And use magic so no one can steal it. Then I walk over to the huge steel door and press the buzzer for apartment B9. I hear a returning buzz that tells me that I’m being let in, and I open the door and walk in. I go up thirty nine flights of stairs. Luckily I’m on the track team so it doesn’t really bother me. I knock on the door and Peter opens it. “Oh, hey y/n come on in.” He says. “Felix! Y/n is here.” He shouts. “ok!” Felix shouts back. “he’s in his room.” He says. I nod once and head down the hall. I knock on the door. “come in.” I hear Felix say. I open the door and lean against the door frame. He’s sitting in a gaming chair and playing. Game of thrones, with Baelfire, Nibs, and Devin. “Devin to your left.” Felix says. I laugh once and the whole game stops. Devin, Nibs, Baelfire, and Felix’s characters all go still. They all have their cameras on so I can see them. Felix turns and sees me. I wave with my fingers. “so I see you guys have been playing Game Of Thrones without me.” I say. They all look guilty. I smile. “its fine I have a lot to do anyways.” I say. They all look relieved and I go sit with Felix. “we’ll work on the book later.” I say. He nods once. “want to join us?” He asks. I smile. “sure.” I get up and grab a controller and head set. Then I turn on his other game system and login. Then I wait for an invite. Devin sends it, and I join. I take some time to edit my character. Then I click join and I spawn in the world. I turn on my camera and headset. They all unpause their game. And we get back to it. I see an orc about to kill Felix and I know that if I warn him it will only take up more time so I use my bow and one shot him in the head. Then I attack the dark elf that goes at me for killing the Orc. Soon we get rid of most of the enemies, and we move out. We split up into teams. Then Henry logs on and Devin invites him. We all split up into teams of three. Devin, Nibs, and Baelfire are one team and Felix, Henry, and I are on the other team. After a few hours of playing I realized how dark it was outside now. “Crap!” I say. “What is it?” Henry asks. “It’s 10:30 PM. I need to work on my book the last time I took so long to update the story all my followers banned together and started a mob that literally found out where I lived to demanded that I work on the next chapter.” I say. Felix laughs. “ok guys me and Y/n are gonna log off so we can work on her book together.” He says. “Mmhmm... sure.” I flip Nibs off before logging off. They all wish us a good night and then he log off too. I get up and pull out my laptop and in less time than it takes me to get up and walk across the room. I logged into my story account and and get to my recent books. then I get comfortable and Felix sits with me on a large beanbag. He pulls me into his lap so he can see the screen too. Then I immediately type on my forum page. “Sorry guys for making you wait so long but I’m writing the next chapter right now.” I hit send and then I begin typing something else. “you guy remember me talking about my best friend Felix. He is here with me today to help write my story.” I send it and take a picture of us he has his arms around me and I hit the ten second countdown button and right before it takes the picture he starts tickling me and I struggle to get out of his arms, and then it takes a picture of both of us laughing, him tickling me and me trying to escape. “noooooo!” I shout. He laughs and stops. The picture automatically sends instead of making me send it because when I take a picture with the app it automatically sends the message with the picture in it. He laughs as I watch the comments roll in like a flood. “you ass! You knew that was going to happen.” I accuse him. He laughs. “maybe I did maybe I didnt. The world will never know.” He says. I laugh and look at the comments. “@Bagellover65- awwww you guys look so cute together.” I read. “@bookworm39- I ship It.” I read next. “@batcat33- I will dedicate my time to this Ship and together the Y/s/n (your ship name) Fan club with make this ship sail.” I read the last one and laughed. I then type. “how the hell is there already a fan club for me and Felix, and sorry but we are not together he is just an adorable little demon boy that the gods have cursed me with.” I say. Felix shouts. “hay!!” He shouts but its a playful scolding. “That is for vengeance.” I say then I get to work on the book. Felix helps out a lot and sometimes we have to act out scenes so that we can describe them right. Then it gets to an action scene in the book and I focus mainly on picturing the scene playing out in my head so that I can describe them. At the end of the action scene katie’s (the main character) best friend billy dies and then I end the book on a cliffhanger. I smile and write at the bottom of the page in an authors note. “Mwahahahaha thats the end of the story folks your gonna have to wait for the next book in the series.” I write then I publish the story and mark it as a finished story. “wow I did not see that coming.” Felix says. I laugh and stretch. I look outside and see how dark it is. “You could stay here for the night if you want.” He says. “no. Its okay Felix, I’ll can find my way home in the dark.” I say. “wait you didnt bring a car.” He says. “no, I came on my motocross bike, and the lights haven’t been working lately.” I say. “well in that case your staying here tonight there is no way in hell that I’m letting you outside in the dark in this part of town.” He says. I start to protest but he shushes me and I know that I’m not gonna win this argument. “Fine.” I mumble. Then I head down the hall to the bathroom with my clothes and change. I walk back out, and I head back to Felix’s room and flop down on the beanbag. “your a jerk.” I say into the beanbag. “yes, yes I am.” He reply’s. We head into the living room and then I hear my motocross bikes alarm going off. I look out the window. “hay thats my bike!” I shout then I run out of the apartment the boys following Pan with his keys to the apartment so we dont get locked out. I throw myself over the stairwell railing and drop the rest of the way down. Then I land skillfully on my feet and Felix jumps over the railing too landing by my side. I get to the door and open it then I sprint down the side walk with the boys following after me. I see a man trying to use his magic to take down my spell so he can steal my bike. “HAY!! GET AWAY FROM MY BIKE!!!” I yell at him. He looks my way and keeps trying to get at my bike. I get to him and I punch him across the face. He jack knives to his feet and throws a punch at me. I dodge it and he throws another punch I catch it and twist his arm behind his back and slam him against the wall. “stay the hell away from my bike!” I yell. He teleports out of my hold and punches me in the back of my head. I spin around and throw a punch but he dodges this time and punches me so hard across the face that I fall the the floor. Felix and Peter both brake into a sprint and beat the dude senseless. Then I get up and stummble almost loosing my footing due to how dissy I was. Felix rushes to my side and helps me. I use my magic to take the spell off of the bike and unchain it then I wheel it back to the apartment. Felix helping me the whole way there. We head into the cellar of the apartment and put my bike in their storage compartment and we lock it up. Then we head back upstairs. I almost fall again so Felix picks me up bridal style. “Felix put me down. I’m fine.” I protest. “Shut up, Y/n. If I put you down and let you walk up these stairs your gonna fall over the railing and brake your neck.” He says. I huff and cross my arms grumpily. we get back to the apartment and Peter opens the door and lets Felix in first so he can put me down. Felix walks over to the couch and sets me down. He crouches down and looks at my head. “your fine but I suggest that you stay off your feet for a little while. I’ll go get you an ice pack for your head.” He says he says. I nod once. And he goes to get me an ice pack. Peter walks in and places a hand on my head and uses his magic to heal me but even though that its healed it still hurts a bit. When Felix gets back he hands it to me and sits with me. Later that night I end up sleeping on the couch and even though I had told him that it wasn’t nessary Felix had committed to staying with me in case I needed him I was snuggled up against his side his arm around me a blanket over us to keep us warm. I woke up with Felix’s arms around me protectively. Both of them wrapped around my waist. I blushed a little at the fact that he was shirtless and in just a pair of black jeans. I managed to get out of his grasp. I took the blanket and covered him with it. For once in his life he looked at peace. Not grumpy or angry or irritated or even bored just peaceful. I smile at this and go to the kitchen. I make myself some breakfast. Bacon and eggs with some sausage as well I made enough for all three of us. Then I make three mugs of coffee. As soon as I pour the first cup Felix walks in sleepily sniffing around. He sees me making pouring coffee and I walk up to him and hand him the mug. “thanks.” He says in a sleepy voice. I nod and try not to look at him because he’s still shirtless. However I did happen notice just how extremely toned his body was. I blush deeply with the thought. Then I turn and make more coffee he sits at the table. Then Peter walks in.... shirtless. “Damn it. Does no one wear clothes around here.” I complain. Both of them burst into laughter. I roll my eyes. Then I remember that I dont have anything to wear today. “DAMN IT!! Plus I have nothing to wear. And peter before you make a comment on that I would think about weather or not I will strangle you for it.” I say. He closes his mouth instantly. “thats what I thought.” I say. “you can barrow one of my shirts and just where the same pants.” He says. I thank him and he goes to go get me a shirt. He comes back with a white button down shirt and tosses it to me. I catch it and head over to the bathroom. I take a shower and clean up then I change back into my under clothes and shorts and pull on Felix’s shirt and button it up leaving the last button undone because it was broken. I roll up the sleeves and and head out. The shirt is so long that’s it covers up my shorts making it look like the shirt is all I’m wearing, but I dont get self conscious easily. I walk out and grab my bag. “I’ll see you guys later at Wendys party!” I shout. Felix walks me out and I hug him goodbye. Then I climb onto my bike and start it. Me and Felix do our hand shake and then I drive off. ...to be continued

A/n: I apologize for how horrible this was i just edited it so that it at least makes sense. I will be making a part 2 and posting it today thank you

#Ouat felix x reader #once upon a time story #writer

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choerrypuffs · 5 years

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hello! may i request barista!xiaojun trying to make medstudent!reader feel better while studying for exams but he does it awkwardly and cute?? i love your works esp. that billionaire!kun angst sksjs

anonymous said: YOUR TAEYONG AU WAS SO CUTE MY H E A R T 😁😁😁 can i request something as cute as that for xiaojun? perhaps even another neighbor au heheh–but you dont have to if you dont want to! i would just like some fluffy xiaojun :))

pairing: bartender!xiaojun x med student!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

author’s note: two requests for xiaojun in a row, wow this really is his world and we’re just living in it

With each page turn, you feel a little bit of your sanity leave you.

You’ve been cooped up in your dorm for the past week, studying for the absolute hell that is finals week. You’re running on four hours of sleep and hell of a lot of caffeine. Day and night have just been blending together and you genuinely have no concept of time anymore. Your roommate has been staying with her boyfriend more often, which leaves you and your misery all alone with no one to vent to.

This must be what solitary confinement feels like, you think to yourself.

Once you read the same sentence for the tenth time in a row, you finally give up and slam your anatomy textbook closed. It’s only 11:20 PM, so you decide to go out for some fresh air. Just the thought of being in this room any longer makes you feel suffocated.

You don’t bother changing out of your sweatpants and t-shirt, simply throwing a light jacket over it. You’re not sure when you last washed your hair so you tease it up into a ponytail. Shooting your roommate a quick text (though you’re pretty sure she’s not going to see it), you grab your wallet and keys and head out.

The night air feels cool when it hits you and you close your eyes, relishing the breeze. You begin to wander aimlessly around the neighborhood, trying to procrastinate going back as much as possible. After a while, you eventually stop in front of a bar.

You aren’t much of a drinker because you really don’t have the time to be one. When you do drink once in a blue moon, it’s usually with your roommate on the floor of your room. Just once, you’d like to have that experience of getting blackout drunk at a bar and dealing with a nasty hangover instead of blacking out after pulling an all-nighter studying and dealing with staying awake in your 8 AM chemistry class.

Squaring your shoulders and straightening your back, you confidently push open the doors and walk in. You expect a loud club-like scene with a bunch of people dancing on top of each other, but that’s not what you get at all. The place is low-lit with jazzy music playing, and there’s barely any people here. Instead of a dance floor, there’s a big pool table in the middle of the room. The bar is all the way in the back, and you awkwardly navigate past a tipsy couple playing pool to get to it.

There’s only one person sitting at the bar, an elderly man wearing a suit. He’s chatting jovially with the bartender, swirling the drink in his hand around. You can tell by the way they’re talking that they are very comfortable with each other, and you almost feel a little bad for intruding. The bartender hears you approaching and looks up. You nearly trip over your own feet when you make eye contact with him.

He’s so good-looking that you’re honestly a little intimidated. Dark, messy hair that falls into his eyes, features that are on par with any model, and looks damn good in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. You kind of just want to run away, but he’s already seen you so it’s too late.

“What can I get you?” he asks, smiling politely. His nametag reads Xiaojun.

You sigh, shrugging. “Something that’ll make me forget, or take off my pants.”

Xiaojun stares at you, clearly not expecting that answer. The elderly man laughs, a big belly laugh that makes you involuntarily smile. “Darlin’, that would be tequila.”

“Then I’ll have that,” you nod.

“First time here?” Xiaojun asks, shooting a stern glance at the elderly man.

“How could you tell?” you joke.

“Just a hunch,” he chuckles, “anyways, I don’t think tequila is what beginners should start with.”

“I’ll drink whatever you give me. I just want to get drunk,” you respond, shrugging.

“Rough night?” Xiaojun looks up at you as he begins to make your drink.

“You could say that,” you sigh again, propping your face up on the counter top with your palm.

“I’m all ears if you want to talk about it, um…”

“Y/N,” you supply, “and thanks. I’m sure I’ll go on some drunken tirade anyways, so be prepared.”

The elderly man is quiet as the two of you chat, a knowing smile across his face. He finishes the rest of his drink before clearing his throat, taking his brief case from the seat beside him. Placing some bills on the counter top, he says, “Anyways, I gotta get going. The missus is waiting for me back home.”

“So soon?” Xiaojun asks, surprised.

“Yup,” he replies, “I’ll see you later, Xiaojun.”

“Alright, be careful.”

The man turns to leave and you wave him goodbye. He winks at you as he gets out of his seat, and you’re confused as to why but you smile at him anyway.

“Here’s your drink,” Xiaojun says, setting a glass in front of you.

The concoction is red at the very bottom before it turns light pink at the top, like an ombré effect. You can’t help but marvel at how beautiful it is (just like him).

“Wow,” you breathe, “it’s so pretty.”

“It’s called Love Affair,” he explains, before turning red and immediately beginning to splutter. “U-Um, the name is weird but it’s my favorite drink, so uh…”

“Thank you,” you say, smiling at how flustered he is. You bring the glass to your lips and take a sip. It burns slightly, but you don’t particularly hate the feeling. It’s tangy, like a citrus fruit but also a little sweet.

“How is it?” Xiaojun asks, a touch of anxiousness in his expression.

“I like it,” you say, drinking more.

“I’m glad,” he beams, looking both relieved and proud.

It doesn’t take you long to finish it, and he makes you some of his other favorites. You feel the buzz get progressively stronger, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re drunk. Xiaojun can tell too because the drinks he gives you becomes more and more diluted with each glass. He’s in the middle of making your fifth drink when the rational part of your brain finally logs out.

“Do you ever feel like giving up and just becoming a homeless person for the rest of your life?” you ask, slightly slurring.

Xiaojun looks up, amused. Your face is flushed and your hands are on your warm cheeks as you just barely manage to prop yourself up. Whether it’s intentional or not, you’re slightly swaying back and forth to the background music. You look absolutely adorable and he feels his heart rate quicken.

“Actually, I have,” he says truthfully. “Why?”

“Well, I currently feel like that right about now,” you confess, “and it sucks.”

“Did something particular happen?” he asks gently.

“I’m a med student,” you explain, “and finals are coming up. I’ve been studying nonstop, but it feels like nothing is sticking. It’s just―so much is banking on these exams and I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I fail. How on Earth am I gonna pay back my student loans? What if I become one of those losers that live in their parents’ basement because they can’t get a job? What if I become a beggar on the side of the streets?”

You don’t realize you’re crying until Xiaojun gently dabs your tears away with a napkin. You’re embarrassed but not nearly as much as you would be if you were sober. Sniffling, you try to apologize but he doesn’t let you.

“Look at me,” he says gently, cupping your face with his hands and slightly squishing your cheeks together. His hands feel cool against your skin. “I’ve felt exactly the same before, but you know what? It’ll pass. Don’t freak yourself out. Study hard like you have been, and you will do just fine. Make sure to take breaks too. Oh, and don’t go to bars during the middle of exam season either.”

You laugh, slightly leaning into his touch. Xiaojun looks down at your lips, and for a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you before he steps back and takes his hands away from your face. You pout as he does.

“Right,” his voice cracks and he clears his throat, “you’ve had enough drinks. I’ll call you a cab, so go home.”

You whine, but he’s not having it. Once you realize your sulking isn’t going to work, you huff loudly and fish out your wallet. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing,” he replies, “it’s on the house. As a good luck to your exams.”

You smile at him. “You’re very sweet, Xiaojun.”

He rolls his eyes, but there’s a pink tinge to his cheeks. You try to get up, but your legs feel like jelly, and you fall back into your seat again. Xiaojun immediately is at your side, wrapping your arm around his shoulders as he helps you leave. He manages to get a cab within minutes and even shoves some money in your hands for the fare.

“For more good luck,” he says, grinning.

You want him to kiss you so badly that you blurt, “Kiss me. For even more good luck.

Xiaojun’s eyes widen, and it’s cute, but his response is less so. “I can’t. You’re drunk.”

Damn him for being a gentleman.

“But…maybe tomorrow,” he promises, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

The cab driver honks, and Xiaojun quickly ushers you in the car. He waves at you as you drive away. When you can no longer see him anymore, you let out the breath you’ve been holding and lean back. You can’t tell if your face is warm from the alcohol or something else.

#neowritingsnet #nct scenarios #nct imagines #xiaojun fluff #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #xiaojun #nct #choerrypuffs #xiaojun requests #requests

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amoristt · 7 years

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Watching Angels | Nathan x Reader

disclaimer: i know nathan is not a good person. i am not putting a blanket over his actions in this fic. i, the writer, understand he’s not an innocent character and has made many terrible choices. im just answering people’s requests, please dont put me under the fire for it.

thank you.

Anonymous Asked: fic where reader is new to blackwell and nathan becomes infatuated with them, but he intimidates then so they stay away?

i accidentally deleted this anon but i re-wrote it to the best of my memory! either way, here you go, enjoy!

reblogs/tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Watching Angels

Amidst the partially one sided conversation he was involved in, Nathan’s mind was roaring per usual. Victoria tried to help him in the best ways she knew how; trying to distract him with jokes and gossip, but today it seemed that wouldn’t be enough. She watched his pensive expression while she still continued to talk about some underclassmen he really couldn’t care about and hoped it would elicit some sort of response but unfortunately nothing came. She wasn’t entirely surprised, however, and just sighed in defeat knowing he wouldn’t notice.

She also wasn’t surprised when Nathan stood up from the benches they were relaxing on and shoved his hands into his pockets, ducking his head down to his shoulders like he was trying to shield himself away from all the students around them involved in their own events. Victoria raised her hand to block out the sun as he told her he was just going to head back to him dorm, he wasn’t feeling well.

Knowing she couldn’t, and shouldn’t argue against him she just nodded and let her hands fall back onto her lap. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” she said as he turned. “I’ll text you later on.”

As he walked past the dispersed students Nathan couldn’t help but feel like every single pair of eyes were on him. Eyes are attracted to movement, he reminded himself as he subconsciously sped up. They aren’t staring at you. But he knew they always were. Eyes were always on him, rather it be students, that dickhead Madison, or the ass backwards Principle Wells. Of course Nathan had leverage as to not get bothered but he still hated the feeling entirely, and most times, it pissed him off, had him lashing out at everyone who so much as waved to him. Of course he’d regret it later on and wonder if he should apologize but an ‘im sorry’ most likely would never see the light of day. It just wasn’t in his character. Wasn’t his style.

Just before he entered the building to his dorms he saw something in the corner of his eyes. Like everyone else, he was attracted to the movement, and his head turned. All at once everything seemed to come to some sort of stop, even the howling thoughts in the back of his head.

You were leaning against the brick walls, phone in hand, occasionally glancing up from it to take a look around as though you were waiting for someone.

Frozen with his hand still reached out towards the handle Nathan didn’t move, undoubtedly staring at you and for some reason just taking in your appearance. ___ hair, ___ eyes, your outfit simple but fitting you so well. He didn’t know what it was that was so capturing but he couldn’t look away until you turned, eyes meeting his, and his stomach dropped. For a moment he didn’t do anything, he felt like a deer in the headlights, and it only strengthened when you offered him a hesitant wave. The oblivious, innocent gesture meant one thing. You had no idea who he was.

Instead of acting like a normal person and waving back he blinked himself free of his trance and threw the door open, completely ignoring your greeting and hauling into the building. The moment he was inside he felt oddly shielded, for some reason at ease knowing you couldn’t see him anymore. The ease wasn’t out of fear, however.

Nathan didn’t know what it was. Something about you ate at him the entire way to his dorm and well into the evening, and even as he clicked off his lamp at 4 am you were still on his mind. He wanted to know you. He wanted to know your name, your favorite color, everything about you. Why he did was the biggest question he had, however, and it too eroded away the walls he’d placed all around himself. He rolled over on his bed, holding a pillow tight to his chest, and frowned. Why were you so special to him? You were just as average as everyone else in Blackwill, but at the same time you were so much more.

He felt like if you asked he would cave into you and spill every single secret he had, and this feeling fucking scared him. It struck him that you, having not done anything at all save for exist, made him fear.

Even days after he’d saw you that first time you were still on his mind. Though he wanted to avoid you like the plague he also seemed to subconsciously search for you face in a crowd of people, wondering where you were and what you were doing.

Nathan had hoped if he avoided you and made sure to keep any and all contact minimal that you would cease bothering him but if anything it made it worse. The less he saw of you the more he wondered, the more he questioned. What were your friends like? Would you ever consider Nathan to be friend? Had you yet learned about his reputation, and if so would that bother you?

Scenarios littered his mind and played out like story books. Some good, where he’d befriend you and learn, and others bad, where you would tell him to leave you alone and stop obsessing over you. These were the thoughts that bothered him the most but then again they were entirely farfetched- you had no way of knowing you were constantly on his mind with how he made sure you two did not cross paths. He still didn’t even know your name, but then again maybe that was best.

Still, despite his efforts to keep away he sometimes would see you from the corners of his eyes, just like he had the first time. You were almost always alone- either on your phone, reading, or sometimes just leaning back with your earbuds in. He wondered what type of music you liked, and then remembered you weren’t supposed to capturing him anymore. It made him feel a sense of weakness, or maybe even shame, to know that even without meaning to he found himself wanting to talk to you about anything and everything. Sometimes he could barely even bring himself to chat with his best friend, so what was it about you that made him want to be right there, talking about mundane things that no one should even care about. Things that he shouldn’t care about.

When he saw you afterclass one day he had to fight himself down from taking a photo of you. His camera shook in his hands while he watched you sit against a thick tree, eyes downcast and mind probably enveloped in whatever book you were reading. The sun was starting to set thanks to shortening days (Blackwell never got much of a winter) and so your figure was outlined with gold while the leaves above head shadowed you perfectly, the small specks of light peeking through and dancing atop your skin. You’d make such an excellent model, Nathan thought to himself. You had no much potential.

In successfully biting back his want to take pictures of you he was quick to abandon the scene before he could second guess himself, and thankfully before you could look up from your story and see him standing there like a statue, staring right at you. How embarrassing that would have been on his part.

Along with wanting to know everything there was about you, Nathan also at times envied you. You always looked content, so at peace and down to earth. You’d pet over the grass you sat upon, lean your head back and take in deep breaths of air. From what he’d seen you were on good terms with almost everyone. Classmates smiled and waved to you as they passed and you’d do so right back, and each time he got to witness your harmless smile he’d feel his shoulders ease up just a moment. You had such an effect on him without even trying, and part of him wished he could be like you, just spending your days relaxing and watching. Never bothered, never hateful, always taking in everything around you, a stark contrast to Nathan himself who lived like a wildfire. Almost everything he did was spontaneous, loud, and angry, never regal. He never felt safe whereas you could sleep under a willow tree without a care in the world.

Nathan scoffed to himself as a beaten and bruised phrased swept through his mind. Opposites attract.

The next time he saw you he wasn’t able to stop himself taking a photo. It was a weekend and he was out on his own for the evening, spending a large portion of his day in the more wooded parts of Blackwell when he saw you again. Like a good omen you were as soft as ever, crossing over a log that connected a shallow stream. Just like those few days ago the sunset outlined the play of your figure and with all the scenery the shot was too good to be true. Before he could wonder what you were doing out in the woods alone he pulled out his camera, fingering at the button he’d grown so familiar with, and with just one click he realized you were going to be with him wherever he went now. Of course he couldn’t use this for any type of contest but then again he didn’t want to. This photo was for his eyes, and his eyes only. Exploiting you was the last thing he wanted, and it was an odd feeling to know that he wanted to keep you safe and out of danger. That’s why, he decided, he would never befriend you.

For a time in knowing keeping himself at a distance would keep you out of any harms way, he was at ease. He’d still see you from time to time and those moments would light him up for the rest of that day, and dreams of holding you would still eat away at his decision, but ultimately you being alive and happy would overcome any urges of confrontation. Sometime’s he’d bully himself for growing so soft over a stranger.

Sitting at his school desk in silence, waiting for a reply on his phone while the teacher lectured the class, once again Nathan’s mind wandered to you. He wondered what you were doing again, if you were bored, if you had made any friends yet or if you just prefered to be alone. He would understand if you did- most of the kids here were assholes. They’d take advantage of you, they’d use you just like the lot would use him when given the chance. He wanted to protect you from that, to show that you can do better than anyone else. He wanted to show you that he could be the person who gives you solace, and he wanted to show you that if there was someone worthy of your affection in the school it was him. But then he’d remember who he was, and that was all it took to make him stop.

When the bell rang and students routinely packed up their papers and binders, Nathan instead opted to sitting for a few more moments. He was tired, it had been a long day, and he knew the teacher wouldn't say shit. His phone vibrated, Victoria’s name lighting up, and he decided to finally leave the room. He packed his things half assedly, not caring if the papers squashed or bent, and wordlessly left the room. Most of the hall had cleared out by now except for a few teens hanging around their locker, so without looking both directions he slipped from the doorway and ended up slamming directly into another student passing along all the lockers. Given his size, just like the other person he hit the floor and fell back on his ass, but sooner than them he was back on his feet and fuming.

“Watch where you’re fucking going!” He shouted, roughly shoving his bag back onto his shoulder. The person he’d collided with scrambled to pack up all their papers and notebooks that went sliding over the tile flooring, all the while apologizing over and over again.

“I’m so sorry,” they repeated, and for a moment Nathan’s eyes narrowed at the familiar tone. He swallowed when he really gave the person a good look over, their ___ hair leaving his eyes widening. When they looked up at him, face red with embarrassment and eyes watering with both fear and shame, he felt his stomach roll in his gut.

It was you.

You looked at him, silent now, and for a moment you two just stared at one another. All the things he wanted to say to you bubbled to his throat but he swallowed them back down when you took in his features before looking back down, mumbling apologies and how you weren’t looking where you were going. In an instant you were back on your feet, clutching your things to your chest, and racing past him without daring to look up. He wanted to chase after you, even turning as you left and watching you disappear with regret in his heart. All the scenarios he’d made in his head, all the wonderful conversations you could have had for the first time, crumbled. Instead of it being happy and peaceful, your first meeting was something you were going to likely never want to think about again. He would be a bad memory in the back of your head.

A teen who’d been at his locker, who’d seen the whole thing, watched her go. His head turned to follow her as she passed him, a crude laugh leaving his throat, and for a moment Nathan wanted to rip it out.

“Be quiet.” He growled, and the student did in an instant. He went silent and turned back to his locker as though he hadn’t seen a thing.

Nathan, however, wanted to scream. He wanted to find you and apologize over and over, say that he wasn’t thinking and he never meant to yell at you of all people, but how would that sound? Up until this moment you’d never met him, so you’d be confused as to why you were different than any other kid on campus. How could he explain that you’re constantly on his mind? He’d terrify you more than he already had. He wondered if he could make it up to you, show you that he means no harm, but if there was something Nathan didn’t have it was the ability to make someone feel safe, not to mention showing his love. If love was even the right word for it.

Instead of borderline hunting you down, making you feel like an animal caught in a corner, he bit so hard at the inside of his cheek the skin sliced. He walked away from the scene with blood in his mouth and his hands clenched so tight his knuckles whitened.

___.

That was your name.

He’d heard it in a whisper in the back of the class, one that he hardly ever paid attention in. Two of his classmates talked back and forth about countless subjects that Nathan couldn't care less about but the minute he heard a name he knew it was you.

“Have you met ___ yet?”

His fingers, moving rapid fire over the keyboard on his phone, came to a dead halt.

“Nah, have you?”

Nathan leaned back on his chair and stared down at his lap.

“Yeah. Kind of weird, but overall cool.”

Oh, how Nathan wanted to whip around in his chair. He wanted to demand the kid tell him everything there was to know about ___. Did they share classes, have they hung out, what type of people were you attracted towards. Everything. But, instead, he just continued to sit there, unmoving even well after the subject had been changed. His phone turned off due to inactivity but he didn’t notice, entirely lost in thought about you and the things he desperately wanted to know. He wanted to open you like a book, read all the fine print, take note of the contradictions and all the pieces of you that fell into place. He didn’t understand why of all the people in his life it was you that drove him up a wall, but it was.

At the end of class it had begun to rain, the droplets tapping at the window endlessly. Like before Nathan didn’t leave until the classroom was virtually empty and instead just leaned back in his chair for a few longer moments. Even with the dark clouds rolling in overhead and the rain as heavy as lead, all he could think about was how you’d look under the open sky, soaked to the bone and smiling. In his mind you were smiling, anyways. He could picture it in his head- you with a heavy raincoat, mindlessly wandering around as though it were a bright and sunny Saturday morning. He wanted to take photos of you with rain dripping down your face, and no matter how greyed out his pictures were the color in your eyes would always stay.

His fingers itched to grab his camera and find you, and he almost did. He leaped up from his chair and threw his bag over his shoulder, his sudden movements making the teacher jump at her desk. He was gone in a few seconds flat and just before he walked out of the classroom’s door he looked both directions, hoping to see you. He’d grab your hand and apologize in a heartbeat. But, you were nowhere to be seen. He made his way through the hallways of the school, moving slower than usual in hopes of maybe catching a glimpse of you in some other area. He tucked his camera into his bag when he reached the front door, knowing you had already gone to your dorm for the day.

Normally Nathan couldn’t care less about the world around him, much less the rain. He’d step right out into the storm and not worry one bit about his school bag getting drenched, but this time he did. His camera was in there, and though he knew he could just get another, it struck him he had the only copy of a very important photo in there, and he couldn’t lose it just from the rain. Seeing his car in the parking lot, he bit at the same spot in his cheek he’d split earlier, and in a strong dash sprinted to his truck, where he threw the doors open and then shoved himself inside. The minute he was shielded from the pelting rain he ripped open his backpack, pulling his camera and turning it on. When the logo flashed and the item powered up Nathan felt like he could breathe again. It was safe, and therefore the photo of you was too. You were still with him.

He didn’t drive anywhere in particular, mind both full and empty at the same time. He’d visit Victoria, maybe smoke a little if he was feeling it. She’d ask him why he was acting off as of late and Nathan wouldn’t tell her because he knows how she is- if he told her about you she would be on your ass in an instant. He’d just say it because of his dad again and she would buy it in an instant. She knew how his dad was.

Before he made his way to his friend’s house Nathan took a quick pit stop at one of the local stores nearby, hopping out of his car and leaving his things inside. He shoved open the doors and quickly made a B-line straight for the alcohol section. A few adults side eyed him but didn’t speak up, instead just going about their business. His mind was hazy and lagging behind but he managed to grab a bottle that he somewhat recognized and made his way to the register but something stopped him.

You were there.

He stopped dead in his tracks and even though he couldn’t see your face he knew it was you. Your hair, the clothes. He realized that somehow despite being a stranger still he could tell your style of out-wear. You were at the candy aisle, staring down at the many different selections. He wanted to ask you what your favorite kind was and buy you 20 of them, but opted to instead just standing there. When you suddenly turned around without grabbing anything he was so caught off guard that he didn’t have time to dodge your line of sight and dip back behind the racks of food, and when your eyes met that same expression of fear took over.

“Oh shit,” you mumbled as though you were in trouble. “Sorry.”

He had no idea what you were apologizing for but he shrugged anyways, taking his advance and stepping into the aisle. You were thrown off and took a step back, eyeing him with uncertainty. In turn Nathan didn’t come closer.

“You like candy?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He’d die if his classmates ever saw him being this bashful, this strained and awkward. It left a weird feeling in his stomach to not be blowing up at someone but he didn’t want to scare you again.

You just shifted your weight and nodded a few times. “Yeah.” You looked at him then the bottle he was carrying, eyes narrowing for a moment.

He nodded too and stared at the floor, about to say something else before you moved to grab a random candy bar without looking at it. Before he suggest that he’d buy it for you in hopes of mending some sort of ties you pushed it up on the counter and shoved a five at the cashier. “Keep the change.” you said quickly, leaving without looking back.

Nathan lurked for a few more minutes so that he could mentally beat himself up before handing the cashier a ten, tauntingly shaking the bottle in his hands and leaving knowing the seller wouldn’t say shit about him and his underage drinking. Part of him wanted to see you outside so he could try to talk to you again but you were nowhere to be seen. With the rain still falling he hoped you lived close by.

His mind was as tired as it was when he’d first walked in but that didn’t stop him from cracking open his drink and taking a long chug. When he tossed the cap of his drink into the garbage can his heart sank. Your candy bar sitting unopened at the top of the pile of trash.

One gulp after another, Nathan climbed back into his car and didn’t bother to check both ways while he pulled out.

Over the course of a week it seemed like you had fallen off the face of the earth. Your name didn’t float through the halls, you didn’t bump into kids walking out of their classes, and you didn’t rest in obscure places looking like an angel. The lengths you were going to avoid talking or even seeing Nathan was beyond him, and it hurt. It actually hurt him, something he didn’t think was possible. For a time it pissed him off, made him want to hate you because he didn’t know what to do with the emotions pooling his gut, but then he realized it wasn’t possible. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t hate you, not when he could see you in the back of his head still. Not when he pinned that photo of you on his wall in plain sight. You were too pretty to hate, he thought.

Subconsciously he scouted you out, eyes scanning over the waves of students in hopes of seeing you. Sometimes when someone had the same color hair he’d catch sight of them, heart lifting, only to drop back down when they’d turn to look back at him. Suddenly everyone who wasn’t you were so ugly.

It hurt him to understand that among all the different thoughts in his head, one was persistent. He missed you. He missed seeing your face, missed imaging all the expressions you were capable of making. He wanted to capture every last emotion, every last pull of your lips and brows. He wanted it all, but you didn’t want him. You were terrified of him, and it was all his fault. The fruit of all his labor was crushed by just a few words: watch where you’re fucking going. Oh, how they haunted him. How he wished he could take them back. He would break his entire persona if it mean forgiveness- no matter how much pride he had. That scared him, too, how he was willing to throw away his pride for someone he’d barely talked to. Nathan knew, deep down, that it was wrong of him but he couldn’t stop. You clung to his mind like oil on fur.

You were destroying him to the point where even though you deliberately hid from him, he sometimes swore he could see you. Sometimes it would be underneath the shadows built from leaves, sometimes it would be leaning against walls. Sometimes he thought he saw you in the passenger seat of a car he’d never seen before, and sometimes he thought he saw you in buildings through glossy, foggy windows. He saw you everywhere like a thirsty man saw a river, or a starving man saw a deer.

When he saw you again, driving in the rain and debating pulling the steering wheel for the hell of it, you didn’t disappear before him. You weren’t a ghost, a figure composed of shadows and want. He hit the brakes faster than his mind could register it.

You were sitting atop a block of cinder beneath a tree, it’s branches extending out, covering you from the rain. Despite having little to no cover than what the scattered leaves offered you didn’t seem bothered one bit, even looking up and closing your eyes as water dripped down the sides of your face and onto your shoulder. The peace in your expression, in your body language, made Nathan lean back in his seat and actually take a breath. You were so relaxed even in high winds and heavy rains, almost comfortable.

This was his chance.

He rolled down his window and swallowed, his throat dry when he tried to shout. “Hey!”

He would make up for the shit he did to you.

That serenity was broken, and you opened your eyes and looked at him through the rain. He hated the expression that the happiness was replaced with- fear. You were uncertain of Nathan, and rightfully so. You sat up straight and picked your bag up, nervously fidgeting with the keychains you had on your zippers.

“Do you need a ride or something?” Nathan asked, leaning forward to get a better look at you through the open window. You looked left, then right, before hesitantly standing. The look on your face was less than pleased, and if anything you were likely scared of getting into the vehicle with him. At this point you must have heard the rumors- about what Nathan had been doing with girls as of late. Still, you reached out, grabbed the door handle and cast him a wary look before opening it and jumping inside.

When the door shut you looked at him through the corners of your eyes, and he leaned forward with his arms on the steering wheel.

“Um, thanks.” you said hesitantly, tucking your school bag down by your feet. “Sorry I’m getting everything all wet.”

“It’s fine.” He replied, leaning back against seat and looking out his own window, trying to stay as casual as possible. The silence that took over was deafening but at the same time his heart was beating a mile a minute in his ears. You were right next to him, acknowledging him, and for once being seen felt all too good, even if he could see how unnerved you were. Your fingers played with the hem of your shirt, body tense with unease. You were afraid of him.

Nathan licked at his lips and looked in the rear view mirror before settling his foot back on the gas peddle, rolling the window back up.

“So,” He said, “Where are you going?”

“Just to my dorm. I was uh… I was gonna outwait the storm.”

Nodding, he pressed at the gas and made a U-turn. As if scared of the car instead of the person driving you held the small handle on your side of the door, still not looking up at him.

“Do you not have any friends to pick you up?” He asked, wishing his voice wasn’t so naturally harsh in comparison to yours.

You shook your head. “I haven't gotten around to making very many friends.”

“Everyone likes you, though.” As soon as he spoke Nathan his eyes widened, forgetting that you didn’t know he’d been watching you. You didn’t seem to notice, or if you did you didn’t say anything, still looking down at your lap.

You did, however, breathe a small laugh that made his face heat up. The feeling made him frown at himself. “I’m on good terms with a lot of people but as for friends…” you sighed. “I left them all back at home.”

“You’d make friends easy here. They’re all easy to please.”

“What about you?”

Nathan narrowed his eyes on confusion and tried to fight off his oncoming menacing tone. “Meaning?”

“Are you easy to please?”

Nathan opened his mouth to answer but found he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell you no, that he wasn’t like the rest of the idiots, but then again all it took was one look at you for him to fall practically head over heels. Not only that, but just sitting in the car with you, talking, would be enough to keep him content for weeks. When he found he had no idea what to answer with, he just changed the subject entirely with a small shake of his head.

“Why’d you chose Blackwell?” He asked. The rain was hard to see through as he drove but Nathan, for once in his life, had no problem with taking it slow. It gave him more time to ask you the questions he’d been dying to know for weeks.

You noted this topic hop but didn’t question it, looking out the window. “Not sure. My friend knew someone going here and I checked it out- the school’s not bad and I’ve been wanting to get away from home anyways.” Finally starting to warm up you leaned back in your seat, shoulders rolling before you relaxed. “Do you like it here?”

Nathan scoffed. “Yeah, I’m all about phony hipsters and wanna-be artists.”

Instead of being off-put by his attitude, you laughed, and once again he felt heat in his cheeks. It made his heart flutter to know you had laughed because of him. His words. It felt like some sort of progress.

“Why do you stay, then?” You asked suddenly, and he took in a breath of thought. Of course the answer was obvious, but if by now you didn’t know who the Prescotts were the last thing he wanted to do was make you painfully aware of how they seemed to own the entire town. Usually his last name was a weapon, but at that moment Nathan wished he was someone else.

“My dad.”

“Does he work here?”

Nathan felt his grip tighten around the steering wheel at the thought of his father. “Yeah.” He mumbled through gritted teeth.

Taking note of his anger, you grew uneasy in your seat again. That same hesitant expression made him want to run.

“Everything alright?”

He didn’t answer, not wanting to think about his father anymore. This was his second chance, the last thing he wanted was to scare you off with his explosive anger again. you just nodded shallowly before looking down to examine your hands, eyes unfocused but unsure where to settle.

You’re ruining it, He thought to himself. You’re scaring her again.

Nathan swallowed, shook his head, forced himself out of the mindset no matter how much it eroded him. Instead he tried to take the conversation elsewhere.

“You like the rain, don’t you?” Painfully aware at how stupid the question was, Nathan bit at the inside of his cheek. It throbbed but he didn’t let up. Thankfully it seemed like you were fairly easy to talk to, taking the bait and shrugging.

“From afar.” You stared out your window almost longingly. “It’s pretty when you’re inside, but I don’t really like to get wet.”

“You looked pretty happy.”

You rose a brow at him. “You were watching me?”

“What? No!” Nathan huffed, cheeks heating. “I’m not some creepy stalker, okay?” The irony in his statement almost made his chest hurt.

You, however, giggled. “I know. I’m just giving you a hard time.”

He exhaled sharply, trying to calm his nerves. This conversation felt like a rollercoaster, and your twists and turns were all new to him. However talking to you, person to person rather than him intimidating you, was nice. It felt casual… Calm. He began to understand how you were on good terms with everybody, and once again he felt just a little tinge of jealously. He wished he could be as warm as you were. He wished he could be half the person you were.

“Thanks for the ride.” You suddenly said, and Nathan realized that he hadn’t been paying attention to the road but his instincts were strong enough to lead him to the parking lot. You leaned forward and grabbed your bag, lifting it onto your lap as he turned into the lot and parked in front of the doors so you could avoid as much rain as possible. When you looked back at him, smiling, he wanted to reach out and stop from pulling open the door. He wanted you to stay, he hadn’t learned enough about you yet. This was his shot to finally get his answers and he wasted a majority of it pissed off.

When you jumped out of the car he really felt like he’d missed his chance, but then you turned around as if getting wet all over again didn’t mean a thing to you. You smiled at him.

“Thanks,” You shouted over the roar of the rain. “We should do this again sometime.” Nathan felt his heart flip in his chest, hands gripping harshly at the steering wheel. He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but thankfully you continued on before he could. “I’m ___, by the way.”

I know that, Nathan thought to himself, but he didn’t dare let you know he already knew who you were. “I’m Na-”

“Nathan, I know. You know, you’re not as scary as I thought you were.” You said with a sheepish grin. His heart rolled again, and for a moment he feared that you knew about him and his family, but then he recalled that you had no idea who his father was. He also feared maybe you heard the rumors about him, or possibly got his name during the times he’d scared you, but the look on your face told him otherwise. You seemed interested in him, bag over your shoulder and rain dripping down your face. You didn’t fear him like a stray fears a stranger.

“Well,” you breathed. “Thanks again, see you later!”

Then you were gone, shutting the door and bounding for the dormitories, hauling inside to escape the downpour. For a moment Nathan just sat there unmoving in his seat, a wide array of emotions running through him. He was so happy at the thought of seeing you again, but at the same time fear of involving you in darker matters weighed him down. He was stuck between getting what he wanted and actually caring about your well-being, which was something Nathan was very unfamiliar with.

When he finally pressed back at the pedal and drove off to burn his gas going nowhere in particular, he thought about your face seconds before you’d left him to run inside. Your hair was flat and dripping, clothes heavy and soaked. Your bag was in no better shape and for a moment he wondered if you’d ruined your things. He would buy you ten times what had been ruined.

One thing, however, stuck out to him the most.

With the rain beading and racing down your face, dripping down your chin and a smile on your lips, you were as breathtaking as he had imagined you’d be. However this time he didn’t feel the need to capture it in a photo, your words of wanting to see him again ringing in his ears.

For the first time in weeks Nathan felt something in his chest, an absence of a feeling he’d lived with his whole life. With you still fresh in his mind, the hurt stopped.

#nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #life is strange before the storm #life is strange #imaginefictionals

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mushizone · 7 years

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Week one

I decide to do a story a week challenge. So here the first one.

Dear Nakura,

i want to be normal. why am i the one to get shits everyday? i dont want any of this. it..don’t suit me at all.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Dear Nakura,

it don’t get better. Somehow, people keep messing with my mood. I beat them up, because i’m piss off. but it doesn’t make them away. thugs keep wanting to beat me. i dunno why.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Dear Nakura,

I took your advice. i dyed my hair today. on my way back, not many bother me. it’s like a magic. i don’t know how people know about me so quick, but it good.

Ps. don’t tell this to the listener. its blond now.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Dear Nakura,

Your radio show is simply the best. I like to hear your voice everyday. You have a nice voice. And I like it. Very much.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Izaya raised his eyebrow at the lack of the usual complaint. This time, Fortissimo sent a short letter. It’s the shortest Izaya ever received from him so far, but its the cutest. The purest. The genuine-est.

He could imagine the blond guy wrote this with a knotted eyebrow, mind thought hard of how to make the letter as good as possible. From how Izaya saw it, Fortissimo hardly care about how his words will turn to be like. He only wrote what would be necessary, and would discard any attempt of correcting his grammar mistakes.

He wondered if Fortissimo used a long hour just to make this ‘confession’ at its best condition.

Because if he did, then Izaya’s smile wouldn’t look as stupid as it seem.

“Aww. It’s adorable whenever my fan confess to me. That goes to you too, Fortissimo-san. Thank you. My fans love you too.”

~*~

Dear Nakura,

Final year is the worst. who the hell think that exam is good. nobody can ace them without having a good mind. i don’t know how to answer half of the questions. I should have burn all my books out when i got the time.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Dear Nakura,

Nobody could be stupider than i am. i’m 20 years old now, but i still don’t have a job. i don’t to uni because i don’t pass my exam. i’m glad i failed. uni sounds like hell.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

Dear Nakura,

i have a bad day today. My life isn’t so good lately. i still dont have a job that I stick to. This isn’t my fault. Somehow, the bosses decide to fire me after a day of me working in their places. i dunno why. Nobody want to tell me why, not even other workers.they clearly hated me.I feel like dying. i can’t stay jobless for long. Not when my younger brother need to pay for my daily expenses. I wonder if i better off-

Izaya cupped his mouth with his hand before the microphone across him caught the gasp he made. A frown quickly took over his face, and he reread the same sentence a few time.

What happened?

Did something became worse?

Izaya kept the thought for himself and continued his radio show before the crew noticed he paused too long. Izaya proceeded with a heavy heart.

-killing myself. It looks like the best thing right now. Everyone doesn’t want me in their life.

From:Fortissimo

~*~

A lot of people sent him a series of letter. They will go on for a few days, weeks, months, and he will read them off. All of them. Izaya liked these kind of letter a lot, because it mean they followed him through some period and became a fan of his show.

Among various type of people who did this, only one stuck. The fans who sent him letter series would never reach it to a year. They will stop, maybe because of life obligatory and other reasons Izaya didn’t want to point out. This made Fortissimo Izaya’s favorite fan, as he’s the only one who made it through years.

That’s not the only thing he liked. Even the listener who followed Izaya from his earliest year cared about Fortissimo a lot. The person himself might not know this, but the replies sent to him after Izaya read one letter from Fortissimo were a lot compare to the other letters.

He’s the person the fans looked forward to hear from time to time, because somehow the fans had become so caring toward Fortissimo. Just now, after he read Fortissimo’s letter, the comment section fulled with worry replies from the listeners.

They were that care about him.

So if Izaya decided to take this matter into his personal hand, he thought that would be good. He, like any of the fan out there, didn’t want Fortissimo to die yet. And beside, his radio show will probably loss a massive amount of listeners if he hadn’t do this.

He smiled as he got the number he need, and off he went from the privacy logs the crew never allowed him to look at. Izaya broke a lot of rule over his life. Something as light as this was nothing to him. He can deal with the consequences later, and now-

“Hello, Orihara Izaya is speaking.”

#epistory #fanfic #shizaya #izaya #shizuo #story #a story a week #first time

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idkitshiro · 6 years

Text

9/3/2018 2:08am

its been a while since ive written here. Ive been trying to not have to open my secret tumblr diary as much as possible. its been 2 months, almost 3, since ive graduated. I still havent found job. im still searching. Ive been looking since the start of the summer, but its very discouraging to not even find a single minimum wage job. i feel so low in this moment. there hasnt been a single day this summer where i havent thought about when i will get any call back. more recently ive been rehearsing the videos and podcasts ive been listening to, speaking about accepting the person I am, being okay with how I looked, what I liked, what I know and understand. in this moment however, i cant help but push back all these heavy thoughts. im surrounded by so much negativity, people who i look at and watch who break my heart. people that i must look beyond. no money. hardly food much less, nutritious food back home. i spend the money i earn from doing yard work at my grandparents on bread, cheap junk food, and monsters to get me through. even when if i do eventually find any kind of job i dont have a car to take myself to and from work. initially i was terrified of how i was going to interact socially among customers and coworkers, if i even possess the knowledge and ability to do any kind of work. thinking about people just make me so sad .. although ive been slowly trying to change this. ive been slowly moving into more positive thinking about it but i got off a voice chat earlier when talking to my friend and a guy she just met. everything they were talking about just made my heart sink. why even on here do i not want to just say what i heard and how i felt about it. can i not even trust my self with just saying how i feel and all my thoughts without just being condemned. the were several comments they made one of them being, b4 i joined their group call my friend was saying what a loser the guy she just met was for asking her to add him b4 inviting me. as soon i did join their call i was trying to be friendly and greeted them, but they continued only to talk to each other. the guy was talking to just her about how funny he was, how he works out regularly, getting her to laugh as we were playing a game over overwatch. my friend was really enjoying herself, playing along about how she had a bigger d than he did as they joke more in this manner, talking about her chest etc . just hurt even more when the guy started taunting that i really liked him sarcastically, and would ask in a innocent tone of why wont i talk? would keep suggesting was his “masculinity intimidating me”. After them dragging on and on he pointed the attention to me , I replied Play the game. i left the group voice chat after a while of them talking with each other to join the in game team chat to talk to the teammates. no one ofc was there. i didnt feel comfortable about what they were talking about, i didnt like how much of a Chad and a douche this guy was, and i didnt like how she was really enjoying herself. What was the point of asking me to play overwatch. She PM’d me earlier if I wanted to play which i got on to wait for as she would finish her games. As soon as I got on she was in a group with the guy already in a match. I waited for their game to finish, messaging her to let me know when shes finished with the game so they could add me to their queue. i waited for 20 minutes only to see her keep getting into new games. annoyed i just logged off, since she was the one who was asking me to play with her. Im sure she realized that i noticed and so she called me over discord to talk b4 getting into that group with the guy. she apologized for not inviting me because the guy was talking about how hurt he was because he was talking about his ex he just broke up with. yeah wat a totally different story when i joined in their call, just a lie. which by the way even while in that 1 on 1 call she kept queueing into a new game before finally inviting me. anyways, after the whole group call and me ultimately leaving. I just joined my own match of competitive play and did solo queue. she pm’ed me if eveyrthing was alright. i gave a short yup saying what a chad. she asked me if i was ok , and i just didnt bother replying. feh they kept playing together and i just got off. was a bit happy that i did what i felt was right. i didnt deserve to be treated like that by her. and i did not welcome any of the behavior of her douchey guy friend that she just met. again i was met with this despair that i see in not just guys but also girls. and god its jsut disheartening. a peiece of me felt more hurt because in the many rare occasions that i meet a girl over the internet i am disillusioned that there is a potential connection greater than of these flaws, beyond the majority of other guys that dominate the internet. it takes me through this vicious cycle that points back to the lack of person i am, how undesired, and lonely i am. how much hurting i hold to myself, and that there are so many people who way beyond more than what i have. even spending all day w/ my desktop how is it after all these years, in high school and college that i have not met not even a single person even online that i could draw close to about my deepest feelings and somebody who finds an equal interest in me. no matter how funny and positive i try to keep things, even physcially improving my body, is not enough. so many things that icant change. my face, the support and love and willingness to be understood and listened to from any of my mother or father. and god damn all the family that i went to see who dont know a signle thing about anything of who i am. jesus christ and the fact the nobody understands any of the hurting inside that im steeling myself of makes heart and face sink extremely low. clinging to only hopes. i fight the idea that there is nothing worth living for. only repeated faces of despair. sorrow. and damn it.. im just trying to find love out of all this madness, trying to find a way to laugh. ive somehow ended up far less with than what i thought i had in high school. i feel myself on the brink, doing that everything i possibly can to better myself and positively affect others.. that fact that no1 just knows god damn it .. please i just want to find at least when i lseep that somwhere in my dreams i will find that im not so alone.. that i am loved. .that i am understood. that i am not going to sleep hungry.. that i do not have to keep witnessing the ugly sides of people.. that i do not have to question if any who i am and have experienced is valid , that i am worthy.. that i am not going to be angry and hurt when i wake up in the middle of the night i wish i could organize and articulat eevrything that im trying to feel clearly but god damn it these filtesr of not even wnating to cuss prevent me from entirely venting this all out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . .a..aa i just want to do good with my life .. i just want to show love .. i wish for any kind of miracle

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