#doughboys double

[khakilike]

I had a dishonorable discharge looking at Hamm in that uniform.

Nick Wiger reveals his favorite part of Top Gun: Maverick, Doughboys Double 6/14/2022

#Doughboys #Doughboys Double #Top Gun Maverick #Nick Wiger #Jon Hamm #Cyclone #Quotes #Podcasts #Movies #Doughboys Double 2022-06-14

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

reader following jason’s happy trail and kissing down his tummy? can be any verse i’m not picky i just want slightly whiny jay getting attention 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Syrupy golden light shown through the double doors to your balcony and Jason luxuriated in the warmth of your apartment, sinking into your squashy second-hand sofa and stretching like a lazy cat.

It was a good morning. The odd Sunday morning after a night out when he found you happily making brunch instead of panic studying. "Will you hurry up?" he called, stretching again.

"Got your tummy full and now it's naptime?" you tease, padding back into the living room with a cup of coffee.

Jason pouted and reached for you when you set your mug down, "I missed you this week."

"My poor knight," you tut, adjusting so you can straddle his hips and admire. You'd always had a soft spot for big men with big hearts. The fact that Jason was beautiful to look at was a nice plus. But honestly, you just liked feeling safe.

"What're you doing?" he asked, feeling shy. He didn't mind you straddling him- enjoyed it actually. But shirtless, in the daylight; so many of his scars visible- he always waited for you to flinch away. You never had but, he dreaded the day the newest row of stitches was too much. Just past the point of redeemable bad boy to a dangerous man.

"Wondering if you're ticklish," you answer honestly, smiling a little.

Jason raised an eyebrow and reached up, trailing his fingers over your hip, looking for the spot that would make you yelp and wiggle to try and get away from him. "Knowing how to make me so hard I can't think straight isn't enough ammo, Kitten?" he rumbled, relieved.

"No," you answer breezily, smacking his hand away before bending to smudge a kiss against his heart, making him close his eyes. You smile to yourself and kiss the other side. Jason liked soft kisses. He liked being the soul focus of your attention. Being patted and kissed- like home decorating shows it was a sort of guilty pleasure. Something he liked but wouldn't ask for... It was hard to maintain your tough exterior when you whined every time someone nuzzled your abs.

Jason huffed a soft laugh, relaxing into the touch of your lips. The softest whispery kisses trailed down his skin. "I'm not ticklish, Kitten," he breathed.

"Still gonna look," you insist stubbornly; grinning when you looked up to see his cheeks darken when you nuzzle the start of his happy trail and he audibly whined. Who knew. A full tummy and a few kisses was enough to make Jason a needy puddle.

You pause, just above his belly button and smile when he reaches up to stroke your hair, "Feels good," he whined, "Don't stop."

"Not gonna stop," you assure him, brushing a soft kiss above his navel- only for Jason to go from whimpering to biting off a giggle.

"Fuck-" he complained, pouting, "Not fair-"

"You have the same ticklish spot as the Pilsbury doughboy," you giggle, nipping the spot with your teeth. Jason groaned- he'd hoped you wouldn't find it. It was the one spot that ever made him giggle.

"Rude-"

"It's cute," you tell him, leaning back and patting his abs teasingly, "Like knowing you've got some soft spots-"

"Only for you, kitten," he chuckled, pulling you down to pin you underneath him. You could lavish attention on him later. Right now, he just wanted to remind you how tiny you are. And how willing he is to exact revenge when you push his buttons.

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd x reader #gentle giant!jason #ask answered #minors dni

[lokitu]

Fast Food Rep, part 3

- commissioned and written by DeltaC -

iii. Perlman: O’Grady you are not following the prompt. Your boy here is supposed to be FAT. That means ZERO muscle. A certified lard ass. A tub of lard. The Pillsbury doughboy. Are you getting the picture here O'Grady? Ditch the ex jock look and get him FAT. I want to see him waddling! Do it or it’s your ass in the buffet!

O’Grady: God fu…

**click**

Did he just hang up on me? ON ME!!!

*** John: Eat damn it! I need you fatter! Softer!  Wider! I need you to waddle with those incredibly thick thighs. I need to see that bum of yours jiggle and sway for me.

Come on fatboy, eat this cake for me! It is your favorite. Yummy double dark chocolate. I got it special just for you…my special little fatboy. Come on fatboy just one bite at a time! Finish this bite and I’ll get you your shake to wash it down.

You want to get fatter for me don’t you Steve my boy?

**What am I doing? Steve’s mouth is jam packed with cake and he is breathing hard. Take it down a notch! It’s not his fault I got us into this mess. Fuck he needs to eat more. I need him fatter, not just because of Perlman’s demands. I need to see how this cake makes him even softer. Fatter. I want that big fat ass of his even wider and heavier. I need his entire girth pressing down on me when we make love.**

Oh what’s this? Is my little fatboy aroused? Hehe I can hardly see it nowadays, but man I can sure as heck feel it under the curve of your bulbous belly. Just one more bite and I’ll work these tight guns on your ever diminishing manhood. Afterall, these pythons need a good workout after catering to your sexy belly.

Steve, my boy, that sweet fat ass of yours and thickening thighs…I am falling in love with you all over again. Come, let’s take the rest of the cake into the bedroom and we’ll do some extracurricular feeding activities. *wink wink*

Twitter | Instagram | Store | Patreon

[psycho-doughart]

DOUGHBOY ACRLYIC CHARM DESIGNS!

following up on my previous post, this is what the designs would be like!

the actual charms would be double-sided (so each doughboy on one side) and about  2''(50.8mm)

I’d sell them for $10 USD, and I would pay for shipping, unless it’s going outside the USA or Canada.

Like or reblog this post if you’re interested!!

#JTHM #Johnny The Homicidal Maniac #Psycho-Doughboy #Mr.Eff #Acrylic charms

[theribthatgrewback]

9, 11 and 13 :3

(ask game)

I assume you mostly want JtHM takes so I'll focus on those but since you didn't specify fandom I'll chuck in a couple others I feel strongly about if that's ok!

9. Worst part of canon

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: This is tough, because I really like how everything was handled in the main story. I guess I personally found the doughboys slightly annoying, but at the same time, they served a crucial narrative purpose, so I really can't complain. Every (subjectively) """bad""" part of canon had a reason for being there, so I like every part for what it is. HOWEVER, if we're counting the spinoffs and the little "meanwhile" inserts, I really hated the like... vomit-porn aside thing in Squee. Though I guess hating it was the whole point, so like. mission accomplished? Also I don't really get Noodle Boy.

Adventure Time: Jake should have stayed blue. Explained here. I wrote the submission, hi.

Futurama: Multiple episodes. Neutopia weirdly ramped up everybody's misogyny beyond what's in-character in order to serve the "sexism is bad but gender is still part of the human experience and there will always be conflict" plot (which also is a weird gender-essentialism plotline anyway because like. The Fact That Gender Exists should not equal Conflict). Unnecessarily mean. Like I can see Bender doing that shit but there's no way that Farnsworth thinks that way. Unrelated to that one, Attack of the Killer App (origin of the "shut up and take my money" meme) leaned needlessly hard into gross-out humor. It just didn't fit the tone of the rest of the show.

Actually I'll be here all day if I list all my grievances so I'll cut this segment here.

11. Number of fandom-related words you've filtered

There's a lot of duplicates for The Same Thing Written Different Ways but if I count those as the same thing, 4. Across all fandoms. Though this blog hasn't been around long so this will probably expand in the future.

13. Worst blorbofication

(interpreting this as "wildly out of character to serve the 'comfort' of the person writing about them") Oh baby. I come from roleplay communities. I've seen shit that would make you sick. I've seen somebody play Fern (Adventure Time) Prismo (Adventure Time) and Kevin (Ben 10) all with the exact same personality. I've seen somebody Else who takes LITERALLY over 200 characters (in "no doubles" type places so now nobody else can use those characters), and also makes them all exactly the same... except for the added detail that This person talks like if a wiki page could make fart jokes. (Side note: I think that person also pretended to be three different people. Like there were three separate accounts with different names who all talked to each other, but they all wrote exactly the same way. And with exactly the same fart jokes. And they usually showed up at exactly the same time.) THE ONE SAVING GRACE of all this is that JtHM is obscure enough that I never saw Other People RP it in multifandom spaces, so it was spared this treatment. I have seen glimpses of how the fandom acts on tumblr though so:

JtHM: Nny. I really think Nny gets the worst of it. In canon, he's a very unlikeable person. That's part of why he's so interesting! He tries really hard to be nice to certain people, like to Squee, but he fails every time. He traumatizes that kid. He abuses animals. He's fatphobic. He blames addicts for their addictions. He trivializes the fight against racism (in a brief aside line at the cafe). He's all kinds of messy, awful things, and it's fascinating. It makes you want to pry his brain open and study him. Yet so much of the fanstuff you see of him files down his bad edges and just makes him "funny murder guy" at the cost of the nuances of his personality (this happened to Patrick Bateman too, as an aside). People are scared to confront that he's kind of a piece of shit, just because he's the Cool Protagonist.

#long post #rib bits #im not gonna tag fandoms on this i dont wanna bother ppl on the main tags #asks #irrelevantsituations #hiiiiiii sorry this is so long i got excited

[alightonthewater]

hot take but i feel like that pillsbury doughboy easter/passover/etc meme is funnier when it just goes "he is risen!"/"he is not!" i get why people changed it so it includes "he is off limits until sundown!" and i think i saw another one that said "he is an offering to the ancestors!" but it weakens the joke i think.

the latter two are just general food things. the charm of the original one is that the first doughboy saying "he is risen!" is playing off the traditional easter call-and-response of "he is risen!" "he is risen indeed!" the "he" is clearly referring to jesus, and it seems like a classic easter marketing scheme. and then you get to matzoh doughboy and "he is not!" and it's funny because the passover tradition is to eat unleavened bread, and moreover to get rid of any leavening agents in your house, and therefore "he is not" is reframing "he" to the doughboy in question and "risen" to mean leavening instead of being raised from the dead.

i feel like tacking on "he is off limits until sundown" to include ramadan fasting doesn't add anything to the joke in particular, like i get what they're going for but it lacks the comedic double-meaning of the easter/passover duo. there's no clever wordplay there, it's just "doughboy=food, food=off limits". rule of three states that the third addition should be the punchline or the funniest addition but instead it's the weakest addition and i think the joke is stronger if you leave it at two.

#this is not to say that we should not include ramadan in things #but i think we can include ramadan in things in ways that actually make for good jokes #instead of just sort of a lackluster tack on #feel free and add to this if you think i am wrong and are willing to have a constructive discussion about it

[nicholasr]

Updated podcast Top Ten rankings These are based on which podcasts I would listen to first if I fell behind or they all released at the same time. I can listen at work again

Double Threat

Election Profit Makers

Stop Podcasting Yourself

Bonanas for Bonanza

Three Bean Salad

Beef and Dairy Network

Office Hours Live

Threedom

The Gargle

BBC News Quiz or Newcomers or if neither of them are current Doughboys

#podcasts #funny podcast #lists #ranking #edited #I add

[readingvocabulary]

Les Murray

peneplain - a more or less level land surface produced by erosion over a long period, undisturbed by crustal movement

commissure - the joint between two bones; a band of nerve tissue connecting the hemispheres of the brain, the two sides of the spinal cord, etc

niveaux - plateaus

hyaline - a smooth sea or a clear sky; (chiefly of cartilage) glassy and translucent in appearance.

ruched

taupe - dark brownish grey (mole)

moraine - ridge of rock deposited along the edge of a glacier

pleasance - a secluded enclosure or part of a garden, especially one attached to a large house

vol (fr. flight)

surcingle - horse strap

nacre - mother of pearl

misericord

jacquard - a fabric has a design or motif woven into the construction of the weave

entail

philtre - love potion

chenille - soft fabric

shako - military cap

cullet

mucilage

paraison

marvered

spirochaetes

peruke - wig

jute

roan

distinguo - subtle distinction

decrepitation - the crackling or breaking up of certain crystals when they are heated

coralline - reddish, pinkish red

quoin - an external angle of a wall or building

coign - a projecting corner or angle of a wall

prehension - the act of taking hold, seizing, or grasping; mental understanding : comprehension

Oligocene

scads - a large number or quantity

gamboge - deep yellow

formic - relating to ants

rales - small clicking, bubbling, or rattling sounds in the lungs

escutcheon - shield or emblem bearing a coat of arms; flat piece of metal for protection and often ornamentation, around a keyhole, door handle, or light switch

pilum - Roman javelin

corniche - a road cut into the edge of a cliff, especially one running along a coast

bouillon - broth

impetigo - highly contagious skin infection that causes red sores on the face

goffer - crimp the lace edges of (a garment) with a heated implement

jardinière - decorative pot holder

terebinth - turpentine tree

chyle

sejant - animal upright in heraldry

cloison - dividing partition

mantling - piece of ornamental drapery depicted issuing from a helmet and surrounding a shield

marques - brand

lakatois - double-hulled sailing watercraft of Papua New Guinea.

ormolu - gilt bronze

azolla - aquatic fern

loden - dark green woolen cloth

donjon - medieval tower

pintle - a pin or bolt, usually inserted into a gudgeon, which is used as part of a pivot or hinge

antiphonary - a book of plainsong for the Divine Office

grimoire

oppidum - large fortified Iron Age settlement or town

tarmacadam - tarmac

cassia

caraway

schist

piste - a ski run of compacted snow

Gaeldom - Areas in which some Gaelic languages (Scottish Gaelic and Manx) are spoken

doughboy - United States soldiers during World War I

paseo (Sp.) - walk

coatee - a woman's or infant's short coat

VVS - “very very slightly included” diamond

illimitable - without limits or an end

Wilton rug - Axminster carpets are made by creating carpet tufts of equal length before attaching them to the backing. Wilton create pile in a continuous loop, and the cutting takes place once the pile has been attached to the backing

impatiens - flower genus

maidan - an open area or space in or near a town, often used as a marketplace or parade ground

sett - a hole in the ground, often with several passages and different entrances

fusee - flare?

finial - architectural elements typically used as decorative or ornamental features that mark the top or end of domes, spires, roofs, gables, buildings

perigee - the point in the orbit of the moon or a satellite at which it is nearest to the earth

pince-nez - style of glasses

shofar - Jewish horn

lorn - lonely

bowstave

bleb - blister

chiacking - the exchange of jeering or teasing remarks

arraign - call or bring (someone) before a court to answer a criminal charges

curcurbit - plant from gourd family

abyssal - of or relating to the bottom waters of the ocean depths; impossible to comprehend : unfathomable

tilth - tilled soil

sub rosa - in secret

antic - grotesque, bizarre

his nibs

talus - a slope formed especially by an accumulation of rock debris

Nunc Stans - Eternal existence as an attribute of God

oriel - a large upper-storey bay with a window

fistmele - is the breadth of a fist with thumb stuck out used especially in archery to give the correct height of a string from a braced bow

potch - opal which has no play of colour and is of no value

Borsalino - Italian hat

welter - confused mass, turmoil

infra dig

nose-gaffed

septum/septa

camelid

bitou - invasive bush

acrophobia - fear of heights

switchback - a road which goes up a steep hill in a series of sharp bends, or a sharp bend in a road

amethystine - scrub python

cotillon - 18th century dance

grue (Scot) - a shiver or shudder; a creeping of the flesh

cottar - in Scotland and Ireland a farm labourer or tenant occupying a cottage in return for labour

tufa - variety of limestone formed when carbonate minerals precipitate out of water in unheated rivers or lakes

fig - dress, appearance

bourdon - drone

fado - Portuguese music

paladin - trusted military leader; a leading champion of a cause

gelid - icy, extremely cold

natron - baking soda

baulk - roughly squared timber beam

clamant - urgently demanding attention

cupidity - greed for money or possessions

avocation - a hobby or minor occupation

unexceptionable - not open to objection, but not particularly new or exciting

drupe - a fleshy fruit with thin skin and a central stone containing the seed, e.g. a plum, cherry, almond, or olive

bund - retaining wall

Ishihara dots

rrark - Aboriginal cross-hatching

unkent - unknown, strange (Scot.)

jarl - a Norse or Danish chief

ebullition - a sudden outburst of emotion or violence

dunnage - a person's belongings, especially those brought on board ship

coggage

stetl - a small Jewish town or village formerly found in Eastern Europe

pukka

recension - a revised edition of a text

coeval - a person of roughly the same age as oneself; a contemporary

peculator - embezzler

pasquil - a satire or lampoon

asthenic (asthenia) - abnormal physical weakness or lack of energy

canaille - common people; the masses

monorchidism - (or monorchism) the state of having only one testicle within the scrotum

sera - an amber-coloured, protein-rich liquid which separates out when blood coagulates

ichor - fluid that flows like blood in the veins of the gods; watery discharge from a wound

bordure - In heraldry, a band of contrasting tincture forming a border around the edge of a shield

boi meat - ox meat (Galician)

in-continuo

chivvy - tell (someone) repeatedly to do something

biltong - dried meat

wobbegong - carpet shark

bijou - small dainty usually ornamental piece of delicate workmanship : jewel; something delicate, elegant, or highly prized

placket - a finished opening in the upper part of trousers or skirts, or at the neck, front, or sleeve of a garment

tumbril - two wheeled cart

grab-bar

gomp

beetle bix

dottle - unburned and partially burned tobacco in the bowl of a pipe

mezedes or meze - small plates of appetisers (Greek)

whale sounding - diving

bootless - ineffectual, useless

galligaskins - loose wide hose or breeches worn in the 16th and 17th centuries

Ricardian - people who dispute the negative posthumous reputation of King Richard III of England

precarian (precariat) - a social class formed by people suffering from precarity, which means existing without predictability or security, affecting material or psychological welfare. The term is a portmanteau merging precarious with proletariat

besoming - sweeping (besom - a broom made of twigs tied round a stick)

gilet - a waist- or hip-length garment, usually sleeveless, fastening up the front; sometimes made from a quilted fabric, and designed to be worn over a blouse, shirt, etc; bodice resembling a waistcoat in a woman's dress

swart - swarthy, dark

voile - sheer fabric

[twinsanitycomedy]

Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL!

"There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face." –Eva Hoffman The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family. "A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing." –Laura Ingalls Wilder My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother. "A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done" –Dwight D. Eisenhower Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast infection. "A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better." –Barbara Walters

Image Source: newszii.com Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? "Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket." "It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." –Oscar Wilde I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone." "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" the patient asked. "To the morgue," the doctor replied. "What?" The patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!" "And we're not there yet," the doctor said. What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. "When humor goes, there goes civilization." –Erma Bombeck A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. It's not easy. You try finding thirty-two old guys. "Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!" My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It's a good thing he drives a Civic. "No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor." –Samuel Taylor Coleridge If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you're a total hero. But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh! "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." –Bill Cosby Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It's the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one's fellow human beings." –Maya Angelou What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer. "A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life." –Hugh Sidey "He who laughs, lasts." –Mary Pettibone Poole "Comedy is acting out optimism." –Robin Williams "I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it." –Frank A. Clark A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson." "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road." –Henry Ward Beecher

[thegreatgiovannipotage]

Funny 15 Humor Quotes

1. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone." 2. If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you're a total hero. But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh! 3. What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. 4. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? "Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket." 5. "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" the patient asked. "To the morgue," the doctor replied. "What?" The patient panicked. "But I'm not dead yet!" "And we're not there yet," the doctor said. 6. A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." 7. I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. It's not easy. You try finding thirty-two old guys. 8. Did you hear about Pillsbury Doughboy? He died of a yeast infection. 9. My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It's a good thing he drives a Civic.

Image Source: newszii.com 10. I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." 11. What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer. 12. "Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!" 13. A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson." 14. My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother. 15. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

[khakilike]

After she summarized all the comments for me, I realized: what a privilege it is to be intelligent.

Yusong Liu knows what you’re saying about him on Reddit

#Doughboys #Doughboys Double #Doughboys Double 2022-06-07 #Biggie Feedbag XXXVIII with Yusong Liu #Yusong Liu #Reddit #Quotes #Podcasts

[petesmediadiary]

August 17th 2021

Podcasts: Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People -- 280 Quit My Job, Now I Sell Crossbows Doughboys Double -- Sporto Drinks Hollywood Handbook -- 409 Wine Ot? (video) Newcomers: Fast & Furious -- Fast & Furious Mike and Tom Eat Snacks -- Pistachios Did You Get My Text? -- Tasty PJs Off Book: The Improvised Musical -- 214 Goo4Brainz Blank Check with Griffin and David -- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Off Menu -- 18 Desiree Burch TV: Stath Lets Flats -- 1x04, 1x05 Music: Tiny Stills -- When I'm With You

#beautiful anonymous #doughboys double #hollywood handbook #newcomers: fast and furious #newcomers #mike and tom eat snacks #did you get my text? #off book: the improvised musical #off book pod #off book #blank check with griffin and david #blank check #off menu #stath lets flats #tiny stills

[oscaronthegloryroad]

Stay tuned for red hot steel action in the near future.

#I promise that isn't a double entendre #its going to be literal red hot steel #and I look like the Pillsbury doughboy if he smashed his face into the floor and rolled around in dog hair #so the steel will be the only hot thing

[coffee-latte-sprite]

Bad Mr. Doughboy

Masterlist

Older!Damian Wayne x fem!reader

WC: 1,000

Warnings: fluff

Request:

Hii I just saw that you're accepting one last request so I hope I'm not late but could you write something for damian wayne x fem reader where they maybe cook together or something really domestic? Thank you!!

Btw i really love your fics specially the ongoing damian wayne x annoying reporter reader series!!💖💖

Notes: Aw, you’re so sweet! I hope you like this as much as my other series. :)

“Okay, we need--no stop that--1 cup of flour, ½ cup --I said stop that--of sugar, and 1 teaspoon of baking soda,” Damian said as he read off the instructions for the cookies. His little chef hat was slipping off his head, and the apron he had on was double knotted and too big as he knotted the strings too soon.

He also didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t untie it himself. Thus, why he claimed he liked the “bagginess” of the apron.

He did not.

Y/N pouted as she was sitting on the other side of the kitchen island and was playing with the ingredients, which Damian did not approve of.

The couple had been dating for a while and both knew each other’s habits. Like how Damian knew Y/N would be the first to play with the flour, and she knew Damian would be the first to sign up for the bake sale that supports the local animal shelter.

“I understand the instructions, let’s get cookin’,” Y/N said as she rubbed her hands together in a mischievous way.

“I only read through 3 ingredients.” Damian pointed out with a raised brow.

“And your point?”

Damian huffed as he watched his girlfriend walk around the kitchen, looking around for the baking soda and eggs.

“Fine, we will do it your way. Is this what you call rolo?” He asked as he got out the mixing bowl.

“Rolo?” She asked as she stopped her movements.

“Yeah, rolo. Where you do what you want.” Damian finished as he grabbed spoons and a spatula.

“You mean YOLO?” She asked with a smirk on her face.

Damian’s ears turned pink as he looked away. “Yes, whatever that means.”

Y/N laughed at her boyfriend as she went to his side and placed her hand on his cheek so she could kiss the cheek that was closest to her.

Damian rolled his eyes but enjoyed the affection.

“Did you get the milk?” Y/N asked as her eyes scanned the ingredients list.

“No, I’ll get it,” Damian said as he turned back to the fridge.

And then they fell into a gentle rhythm of cooking.

They exchanged snide comments, words of affirmations, and gossip (which Damian thoroughly enjoyed).

It was important to note that Damian was very observant and was able to calculate a foe’s next action, but with his girlfriend, he found it impossible to know what she was thinking.

Especially now as she decided to break the domestic air with war.

“Hey, Dami?” She asked as she leaned towards him slowly, a mischievous tone in her voice.

Damian was put on edge as he recognized her motives, “Yes beloved.” He answered as his gaze remanded on mixing all of the ingredients together.

This gave her the perfect opportunity to slide her hand full of flour behind Damian’s back as it slowly crept up above his head.

“You know I love you right?” She said as she tried to angle her body in front of him, blocking his view of the ingredients.

“I am aware,” He continued as he huffed. He wanted to get these cookies done so he can start on the next part of his plan on helping the sheltered animals the fundraiser was claiming to do.

She rolled her eyes at his response. She knew Damian also loved her, they wouldn’t be doing this event together if he didn’t. “But, I love the Pillsbury Doughboy more.” She said as she slammed the fistful of flour on top of his head.

She jumped back quickly before he could grab her, and she laughed as she saw Damian stumble back in surprise.

“Wha-” He coughed as the flour created dust in the air and he was waving his hands around.

Her laughing stopped abruptly as he whipped his head towards her with fury in his eyes.

He then stalked towards her slowly as she began a rant of apologies, but Damian was not listening.

He then reached into the bag of sugar and threw a handful at her, “Here’s some sugar because you won’t get any more affection from me.” He seethed.

“Hey!” She yelled back as the white grains hit her.

She then decided to play Damian at his own game.

“Well,” she began as she stepped towards him, fire pooling in her veins, and the same fire Damian deeply loved about her. “Since you are so salty, here’s some more!” She yelled as she opened the salt container and started to shake the container at him.

She hears him yell in protest, but she doesn’t laugh as a wicked grin was set upon her features.

“Since the sugar didn’t help, how about this type!” He yelled with a smirk on his face as he threw all of the brown sugar at her.

She let out a yelp as she ducked behind the island, but that only prompted all of the sugar to fall into her hair.

“You know, I think you need to cool off!” She exclaimed as she ran to the sink and turned on the hose as she pointed it directly to her boyfriend.

He cursed in Arabic as the cold water soaked him.

She laughed as she watched the flour on him turn into a white puddie and his expression turned to defeat.

“Oh, my heavens!” A British voice exclaimed breaking the endearing moment.

Damian and Y/N felt their hearts drop as they see Alfred in the doorway with a shocked expression.

“I expect this place to be spotless when you are finished.” He scolded as he turned to leave.

Silence followed as Y/N and Damian shared guilty looks with one another.

“Well, I believe we should abandon this mission and go with buying store-bought sweets,” Damian said as he scooped wet flour off his shirt and into the kitchen sink.

“I agree, besides,” she said as she came to her boyfriend’s side as she scaped some flour off his face, “you were a bad Mr. Doughboy.” She said as she gave him a peck on the cheek.

He rolled his eyes and gave her a quick kiss, “what can I say? I was more cut out to be your boyfriend.”

#older damian al ghul x reader #older damian wayne x reader #older damian wayne #older!damian wayne imagine #older!damian wayne #damian wayne fic #damian wayne fluff #damian wayne headcannon #damian al ghul #damian al ghul x reader #damian wayne #damian wayne blurb #damian wayne imagine #damian wayne imagines #damian wayne x fem!reader #damian wayne x female reader #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x y/n #damian wayne x you #damien wayne #damian al ghul x female reader #dc x you #dc x reader #dc robin

[godsfiercest]

Update: My Doughboy has doubled in weight (to 8 lbs) and is still a lil brat

I love him your honor 🥺🥺

#mai baby

[leftenantmackgordon]

Surrender - Ch. 2

A “Joyeux Noël” Mackenzie Gordon x Karl Horstmayer Fic

Series Main List

Warnings: WWI trench violence & horrors of war, implied warfare violence against animals (carrier pigeons), trapped & desperate situation

Word Count: 1.1k

Day 2 - 21 December 1917

Gordon’s assumption proves out when the Germans rain down hell from all sides. Artillery fire from the front pairs with sniper fire from the rear. Grenade assaults bombard the left flank, and the right flank is besieged by relentless machine gun sprays.

None of his runners have ever returned, and Gordon isn’t sure if any of the carrier pigeons have made it through. If help is on the way, there’s no sign of it. Food supplies are already low, and the only source of fresh water requires leaving their defensive pocket under heavy German fire. Thankfully, they have ammunition to spare, but he doesn’t know how long his battalion will be pinned down.

With the disappearance of Lieutenant McKeogh, Gordon has to make a battlefield promotion, but his first one is short-lived. The foolhardy, new-minted Lieutenant Ross makes a poor decision to lead an assault out through the back of their pocket in an attempt to get word of their predicament to high command. The casualties - including the man himself - are unfortunately high, and Gordon’s blood boils.

Already, his 546 souls now number 481. He hopes that Lieutenant Campbell will execute his attacks more strategically.

During a lighter moment in the grenade bombardment, Gordon goes in search of the pigeon keeper. It’s the only means that he has for communicating with his high command. With just two birds left, though, he knows it’s a means that will swiftly come to an end - but he can’t stop yet. Eventually, he finds the man huddled with his cages and typewriter in the middle of their defensive pocket.

“Another message, major?” The pigeon keeper looks up with sad eyes despite the hopeful edge to his voice.

Gordon nods. “Yes. We have to keep trying.”

The man nods in return even though it’s painfully obvious that he hates sending these birds out to meet their almost certain death. He reaches for the typewriter and readies the paper, typing the standard ‘PIGEON MESSAGE’ header across the page.

Gordon wets his top lip despite his parched tongue. “Relay our current position and the known coordinates of the enemy. If this message gets through, then our artillery can provide suppressing fire.” He reaches for a ciggie as the typewriter clicks away. “Let them know that we’re beset on all sides and surrounded by enemy forces with minimal supplies. It’s only a matter of days that we can hold our present course before the hard decisions need to be made.”

The pigeon keeper's face turns pale as he types out the message, and Gordon lights his smoke. He casts the young man a supportive smile. “Keep the faith, lad. We’re taking plenty of them with us.”

“Yes, sir.” The young man doesn’t sound convinced, but he knows better than to question Gordon. He’s acquired a high enough rank now that he’s not free to enjoy the camaraderie of his early days as a Lieutenant, and he tries not to let that bother him.

He has enough worries weighing on his mind already. Smoking in silence as the distant sounds of gunfire echo around him, he watches the pigeon keeper affix the message to a bird’s leg. The grey bird takes flight soon after, rising up into the drifts of smoke. For a split second - Gordon wishes that he, too, could fly away.

But if his men can’t fly, then what good does it do him?

Two hours later, urgent shouting from the right flank draws his attention. He trudges through the icy sludge and does a double take at the sight through the trees. A young man - a doughboy, in fact - limps towards the Scottish line holding a crudely-constructed white flag. The soldier clutches the wood stick flag-pole close, his eyes wide with bewilderment and fear.

Lieutenant Stewart’s men coax him across the line and into the pocket. The wound on the doughboy’s shin looks surprisingly well-cared for and the bandage fresh. “I’m Private Lowell, sir. Of the American 307th.” The young man says with flat syllables as he sits against an earthen wall. “I need to speak with the ranking officer here.”

“That’s me, lad,” Gordon says soothingly as he crouches down. “Major Mackenzie Gordon, Royal Scots Fusiliers. How can I help?”

The doughboy draws forth a sealed letter. “This is for you, sir. From the German Oberstleutnant.”

Gordon’s brow furrows even as he nods his thanks and takes the letter. The seal looks far too official and the paper’s edges far too clean. He breaks it open, pouring over the words.

To the Commanding Officer of the 2nd Batl. Of the Royal Scots Fusiliers

Sir,

The Bearer of this letter, Pvt. Ronald Lowell, has been taken prisoner by us on the 19th of December 1917. His wounds have been tended, and he does his Fatherland honor in the strictest sense of the word by refusing to divulge details of your offensive. Against his will, he is dispatched to carry this present letter to the Officer in charge of the 2nd Batl. Of the Royal Scots Fusiliers.

As you are no doubt aware, we have your position sighted on all sides. There is no means of retreat and no road for resupply. As Officer in charge, you are urged to surrender with your forces as it would be quite useless to resist any more in view of the present conditions.

The suffering of your wounded men can be heard from our lines, and if you won’t consider surrender for yourself – consider it for them.

A white flag shown by one of your men will tell us that you agree with these terms.

German Commanding Officer, Oberstleutnant KFH

Gordon’s fingers clench against the page as he rereads the letter. No matter how much it incenses him, he can’t deny that there’s truth in the German commander’s words. Hard truth about their desperate, trapped position, and the tormented suffering of his wounded men. But does the German commander not see the hypocrisy of his own words? Or is he simply following his orders and hoping that Gordon’s humanity will win out?

He crumples the letter to the icy mud with his resolve renewed. The German commander has his orders, and Gordon has his. His gut rots as he rises to his full height and knows what he must do.

He issues two orders of his own. Nothing white is to be shown on the hillside where the Germans might interpret it as a sign of surrender. Each man also needs to be ready for the attack that will surely come once the German commander realizes that his letter has been ignored.

When the moon reaches its zenith that night, his men number 446.

Series Main List

#joyeux noël 2005 #joyeux noël #mackenzie joseph gordon #karl friedrich horstmayer #lieutenant gordon #lieutenant horstmayer #gordon #horstmayer