#drink ur water n eat something yummy <3 you deserve love and happiness <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkykeiji · 2 years

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i don’t really know how to ask thsi n u don’t have to answer this ask if it’s uncomfortable but how did u not end up getting into drugs when (from what i’ve read) u were surrounded by drug addicts

both of my parents had—have—a severe drug addiction which i feel was the biggest factor that influenced me to do a shit ton of drugs as well, so i’m very intrigued by how strong u are for being resistant toward overusing meds

if i could tell my sixteen year old self to stop while ur ahead n get some fucking help asap i would bc now i’m beginning to deal w the consequences n shit n it’s so fucking hard to restrain myself nd these urges gnawing my mind

last thing,,,,u motivate me to not give up whenever i see ur posts so thank u very much for being one of the few lights of my life

since this is the only n probably last ask i’ll ever submit i j wanna say i fucking love u and coming across ur blog was like a blessing in disguise

hello anon <3

tw: drugs

well, my mother isn’t a drug addict. but her father was, and many of her uncles are, and i was raised by them (+ my dad) when i was young because she worked shift work for the majority of my childhood. i have really early memories of going over to dealers houses with them and being absolutely fucking terrified—they’re so vivid they haunt me at night. but i think the reason why i’ve been able to keep away from drugs is because of my mother and because i watched, very slowly, what they’ve done to our entire family. i watched what my mom had to deal with, what my aunts had to deal with, what my grandparents had to deal with, and it basically made me realize very young that it was not a situation that i ever wanted to find myself in. i didn’t want to be constantly fighting with my significant other over money. i didn’t want to live in a constant state of fear and suffering and fury, i didn’t want to live in such a volatile, hostile home environment. and i most definitely did not want to go through what my father was going through, and the demons he continues to battle.

so that’s the reason, i think. in addition to that, i had two really amazing support people: my best friend (who i’ve been best friends with since kindergarten) and my boyfriend (who’ve i’ve been dating since high school) who were my rocks throughout it all. they both come from very well off, stable families and i escaped to their houses a LOT. i believe they helped keep me from the path of addiction as well. the rest of my friends were addicts in high school, but it wasn’t super hard stuff until later, which is when we really started growing apart.

my sibling went the other way, like you. they’re also an addict. it almost feels like it was a fifty/fifty chance :/ which fucking sucks. i can’t tell you why they became an addict and i didn’t—why they didn’t see it the way i did, or why it didn’t impact them the way it did me. i don’t know their reasoning because they won’t talk to me about it, they don’t like to. i do know that they fell into the ‘wrong’ crowd very early, and we both have mental illnesses/disorders which i believe they self-medicated for early, whereas i ended up on a cocktail of prescribed drugs by the age of 13.

oh anon babie i am so sorry :( i am so, so sorry. it’s so hard. addiction is a monster that eats you alive from the inside out until you’re nothing but a shell of your former self, and it sucks so bad. but i’m so proud of you for trying. you can and will beat it, i believe in you!!! <333 i love you so much and i want you to know that i am supporting you and your fight <3 thank you so much for your kind closing words. i’m absolutely honoured to hear that i inspire you to not give up and to keep going, that warms my whole heart to the core <333 please keep fighting!! this is YOUR body and YOUR life and YOU are in control, not your addiction. you are so much more than your addiction. i love you <3

#i can’t say i don’t get the urge to do something when shit gets rough #especially when my illness began to get really worse #the amount of times i found the thought of ‘god i wish i had just one pill to fucking numb this’ cross my mind was astounding #and it was SCARY too #because it wasn’t a thought i was expecting to start having lmao #those thoughts only started recently #within the last two years #but i’m really lucky to have my mom and my boyfriend and my bff as a support system #anyway that’s what happened. those were the combination of factors i think that kept me from trying drugs. the biggest one definitely is #‘i never want to live like this’ though. just never want to go through the pain and suffering these men and women are going through #my readers are based on my mom/grandmother tho lol #because they stayed. their whole lives they stayed #i’m so sorry you’re struggling sweet anon but i believe in you and i’ll be here cheering you on every step of the way <3 #you can do it!!!!!!!!!#feel free to come back and share your little victories with us if you ever feel like you’d like to!#no pressure tho of course <3 i just think it would be nice so we could celebrate with you if you ever need it!!! just an option if u want it #and it doesn’t matter if you stumble. all that matters is that you keep trying <3 #i love u so much please stay safe and take care <3 #drink ur water n eat something yummy <3 you deserve love and happiness <3 #inky.bb #clari gets mail #tw drugs

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