#especially cause anytime we try to talk about it to anyone else than the bf we're pretty much told our perception must be wrong somehow

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I guess maybe cause we have a lot of the same issues & he was around recently before I started fronting, but I think about Loki a lot sometimes, n how drastically he changed during the time he was co-host.

How desperate for connection n approval he is, when like me he's also just. On a different wavelength than most people around us. Never could figure out the problem but he used to be so much more likely than the rest of us to try n take interest in other people's interests, to go out of his way to do things for em, but somehow just mostly got it wrong n was met with criticism instead. Or ignored, but that's also what happened when he (at least as far as we could tell) got it right. I'd get it if it caused more work for the people instead of being helpful, but it was always useless at worst?

Like idk maybe him pointing out the things came off as him...expecting praise for some very basic or low effort things he did or something? But it was never about that, he just wanted to be seen. He was just as if not more content seeing people even a little bit happy about it than he was being thanked. He just wanted the connection.

He burnt out n stopped trying pretty fast. He doesn't do things for others anymore. He might, if he's directly asked to n given enough info that he trusts he won't fuck it up somehow, but it goes to the absolute bottom of his priorities. He doesn't try to strike up conversation, definitely not about things he's not into but the other person at least was at some point. Just...doesn't try to connect. His life's on a parallel line to anyone else's n sometimes there might be a brief, coincidental overlap but it doesn't mean much anymore.

I more or less started out from that point. Maybe that's partially where this constant fucking feeling of isolation came from. I don't like being asked to do anything. I'm hyperaware of being ignored n what kinda topics that happens with. I face everything n everyone with the assumption they don't care about anythin I have to say unless it's in (the right kinda) response to what they're saying, though even then I need to learn to cut it off at one or two sentences. It's supposed to be a reply, not a conversation. That when people speak to me they want to talk to me, not with me. Acknowledge it to show you're listening n invested but don't take up time. Which...funnily enough is exactly what Val's always told me. I kinda hate how my ADHD tendency to ramble still gets out of hand all the damn time n I only catch it when it's too late, n how my natural way of processing things is by talkin about em.

I mean. I'm assuming there's gotta be somethin that I'm reading wrong in the situations. Somethin that makes what I say or do weird n I guess off-putting. It's not a new problem, it's (part of) why we never had that many friends n when we did they usually got sick of us after a couple of years. But no one will tell us what it is n after over 20 years of tryin to crack it we're just fucking tired. I know it's some kinda personality disorder + neurotype + trauma combo but it just doesn't feel worth it try anymore when it takes so fucking much energy to try n get it right just for the Russian roulette of havin either a genuine interaction or a new step in my downward spiral. I just got no way to know which one it's gonna be til it happens n a lot of the time I end up wishing I didn't take the risk. I'm too fucking fragile for it.

#with the exception of the partner system. in loki's case especially B in my case especially herald #like i know the feeling of disconnect n being somehow Inherently Different than everyone else is a trauma symptom #especially common with like. childhood emotional neglect #so it's probably not entirely reality based at this point #but for whatever reason it's like....sometime around the time cloud or loki started fronting it started gettin worse n worse #i know it's a schema or some shit but it's. constantly getting reaffirmed instead of us working through it #& i know it's somethin we should talk about in therapy more in depth but whenever we try we choke up so bad we can't make a sound #especially cause anytime we try to talk about it to anyone else than the bf we're pretty much told our perception must be wrong somehow #n it's not like i'm tryin to put blame on anyone or say it's some kinda intentional conspiracy against us? #the only common denominator is us so why would we try to pin it on someone else? #& if our perception is really that off then i mean that'd be the answer. there's something so severely wrong with our brain that we both #repeatedly don't see or hear it when we're being responded to and hallucinate people talkin when they actually don't #which i'm pretty sure would mean we need to be on antipsychotics like asap #this btw is an open invitation to let us know if we are legit reacting to interactions no one else can see or hear #cause the most i'm aware of is the way i sometimes ask people if they said somethin cause i thought i heard someone talk #n that's very much not it. but idk. it's kinda hellish to be an extrovert in a brain that's broken in this specific way. #spdrvent

[lovedeluxe92]

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

[grunge-optimistic]

i feel like and i know that this is the only place where i can tell you guys all of my thoughts so uhm right now as i’m typing this it’s 11:58pm, 24/06/19, monday.

i am crying right now... uhm it’s cause i miss my bf . and i’m way too attached to him and i jus love him way too much... and he says he loves me more but, i think right now he now realises that i’m not kidding when i told him that i love him more...

so ever since i was little @least on my birthday- every year or close to my bday i’d be told the story of how i’m a mistake and i hurt my grandma when she was born .:: now the thing is... that i didn’t do that to her obviously - i was being born / but then obviously she gotta tell me like every single year around my bday... and just remind me on how i’m a mistake ... ye.

then another thing, my (used to be) best friend (now jus friend) was in class with me and another friend ... my friend, he was tryna get to know my bf right, so then my friend said “oh i wanna meet him” and then he said “oh you wanna steal him too” and she said “no” in a jokingly way, smiled with teeth heaps, and didn’t look @me whilst smiling or anything ... man i really thought telling her .... wouldn’t be a mistake but i guess... idk she can’t be trusted.

so i told my bf that, he said “i love you, i don’t want her” and he even decided to not talk to her but ... he has :/

and i don’t wanna look jealous .... i don’t wanna be jealous but she’s done this to other guys as well.... and idk i don’t wanna lose him... i can’t.

and then another thing.... cause i’m stupid and vulnerable.... i told him that i’m sad when his gone- and it’s true but... that’s cause i don’t wanna live okay - like i wanna reaaaally kms and all - like anytime i passed out @sunday, i was happy cause i was closer to dying / like i don’t wanna live anymore; it’s tiring okay, i’m tired i really am, i jus wanna overdose ... and i think about overdosing every single day.

see i’d tell him about me wanting to die but, when i said that he got sad and i already make him sad @least once everyday (because we texting // he and i aren’t sad when together tho), so i can’t make him really sad or feel sorry for me even more... it’s honestly degrading when your telling somebody all this and they either feel sorry and don’t do anything or.... they just simply don’t care and it’s like : i eXpEcTeD yOu tO sAy sOmEthiNg... i tHouGht yOu cARed thAt’S wHy i cAMe tO yOu! .... but then you jus type ‘oh okay’ whilst tears rolling down your face- it’s like .... i really thought we were like this from both sides but i guess it’s only from your side like i would care sfm if you were to tell me all of this and i’d make sure you were okay, i’d even stay up with you and make sure i’m asleep knowing that your okay, and i want someone to be like that for me-/ i need that for me, i truely feel like i don’t got anybody and man, that feels like the loneliest place in the world.... the entire of last week at school man, i was seriously tryna keep a smile, it worked everytime i’d talk but i didn’t wanna talk @all,

it’s funny cause my friend asked me & told me “your happy all the time, i’ve never seen you not smiling, see even now, when there’s sharpie all over your hands ... your still smiling even when you may be mad.... how?” and then she asked “are you always happy?” and i said “yeah” ... man when i said that, i didn’t know it’d take so much effort to just say a simple ‘yes’, i felt like if i said something else other than yes, i would’ve been ready to break down, right there and then, i already was breaking down in my mind so i’d jus be doing whatever was going on in my head...

anyways, see uhm, whenever my bf is sad, i stay up, or i keep talking to him, i make sure that his alright at least, or feeling better.... but then when he asks me what i’m feeling ... i’ve realised that he don’t want the dark thoughts i get constantly every single day, he wants the light, thoughts - that his dealt with or something ..., but the truth is that none of my thoughts are like that, if they were they’d be easily solvable and i would be happy... but it’s not.... and you know i think in my head ‘what if i don’t tell him what’s going on, i jus act like everything’s fine, jus not tell him what’s going on, how i’m feeling, cause he wouldn’t be able to tell by text’ but then, when i msg him, i get vulnerable, especially when i’m sad or wanna kms, so it shows through, cause usually i text more than two-ish words by text (depending on the context) but i keep the convo going ya know.... so uhm, when i’m sad i somehow jus end up typing ‘ye’ and then nothing else.... and with annnybody else .... i could be crying my eyes out but i’ll give a response as if nothing’s wrong and i’m jus the good ol’ me.. and i wanna do that for him but sh*t, i get vulnerable and it’s soOo fucking stupid..,. like why even ... i just want a good fucking relationship and my mind is like : be honest about this even tho he’ll probably want distance after this thing (whatever it is) but still say it, like cause whY tHe fUcK nOt?! ....

and you know how stupid it is when i really wanna kms and overdose every single day, no joke... i really do want to, and it’s like ‘well... i want to be happy.... can somebody help me?’ but then i remember that whenever somebody asks you if your fine, they don’t want the whole story or sappy story, they just want you to say ‘yeah, i’m fine’ then they’ll move on with the convo or there day... whilst your there, breaking ... and it’s sad but i can’t tell any of this to him, well i have, and ..., rn his at the snow, no wifi, only data so he turns it off when he don’t need it and on when he does, so..., when i told him about the me not being happy without him and all, and explained it .... hE fuCkiNg tUrNEd hiS dAtA ofF!!! like how fucking .... jus why, and he knows that i’m sad and all, i thought he cared man, i really did, like to the point where i care for him; which is ‘no matter what’ but fUcKiNg hELL tHiS fuCKiNg hUrT(s) like wHy ... and he knows how i don’t got people that care for me, he knows my friends and families don’t care, man if they cared, they wouldn’t be like this... i wouldn’t be like this. fUck, this hurts. so fucking much.

see i want him to be happy, so i refrain from telling him anything... but eventually like the friend stealing bf thing, that happened @thursday but instead i told him @monday cause i didn’t want to make him sad or something .,, but it was on my mind.,,, and fuck, man i thought i could tell him anything, like i can but i know i’d be expecting something salty or jus blunt or ... an idc response .,, like whY ... i tOLd yOu thiS cAuSe i thOugHt yOu’D cArE, i nEeD yOu, aLOtT, fUcK my tHouGhtS aRe fUcKinG kiLLiNg mE- and you know what’s worse.,.. is that i’m there for anyone, even my bf, well, especially for my bf.,,, and, nobody seems to wanna be there for me, they ask, but they don’t wanna know, they just want a generic response .... and when i ask, i really wanna know, can somebody please .... caRE? i need someone .... i really do. fuck, it actually hurts, living i just need to sleep forever or something i can’t .,,,

he told me that i can’t rely on him for being happy and then when i ain’t with him i’m sad, and it’s like dOnT yOu thiNk i fUcKiNg kNoW tHat aLreaDy, for weeks / always i’ve been telling him i’m clingy, just recently i said “i think i’m too attached to you” and i said that irl, but when i did, i felt like.... i could’ve broken down right there and then, i just was trying to hold it in, and i had a voice crack when i said it to him.... but i kept it all in, he said i wasn’t ... i couldn’t say much about it or else i would’ve actually broken down... for real/ like i was about to.... so i lied and tried to make the convo go & said “okay”.... to whatever he said- but man, the reason i rely on him for happiness is cause i don’t wanna fucking live okay, i got nothing to live for and that’s sad i know okay, but school is now fucked up, my friends - i don’t trust, and home well- i feel like i always got to watch my back or else i’d die or something... i should actually do that, then i can die .... but see ... i don’t even make myself happy okay, i disappoint myself, when i look in the mirror... so i don’t fucking wanna live for myself. but i’m scared of dying and i’m tired of living .... j just wanna end it, all of it, but then there’s him and then i wanna be a person that saves lives in the future like if i died rn, who’d save those people? they may die— ...

so every single night i’ve either cried or rarely but happy (very rare), but most nights i’ve cried.

i just... want someone to be there for me, like i’d be there for them... but i don’t got anyone like that.,, not even my own boyfriend/bestfriend.

i wish i could tell him all this at once, tell him what i’m thinking ... tell him why the fuck i’m always sad or why i rely on him for happiness but man, i have kinda told him why, and he judged me for it in a bad or salty way.... if i tell him the whole thing well, uh- jus nah.,,,

also after he turned his (fucking) data off, i said if he wanted distance or not to talk or whatever for a while then ye, cause i’m clingy and way too attached...

well there it is, it’s 12:42am, 25/06/19, tuesday, and i am kind of all talked out, this was very theriputic and thanks tumblr for letting me for ranting and having the only place to say everything for what i’m truly thinking- word for word....

— good bye, 25/06/2019, tuesday 12:45am.

#sad #boyfriend #crush #depression #liking someone #kms #dying #fuck #i hate life #kill me #anxiety #hate life #nobody cares #help #please help me

[emeebee]

If you have a crush on Cisco I really don't blame you cause he's amazing. If it's not Cisco, I wanna hear about it cause fictional crushes are the literal WORST. And my best friend has a gf and my bf and I broke up recently so I'm not exactly looking to be dating anyone right now, so that more of a "huh that's neat let's move on" type revelation than a major "ohmywordicantbelieveit" revelation. Him and I being together comes up in passing a lot, and most of his family thinks we should date (1)

Shoot, him and I even talk about is dating, but it’s always in a joking context. I don’t think it’d be a surprise or make things that awkward if I told him “hey I kinda love you but it’s ok if you don’t love me back” but I don’t want to do so while he’s dating someone else cause I don’t want to be one of those people. So idk. Realistically, nothing’s gonna happen and I’ll be ok with that. I’m almost too scared to tell him in case he feels the same and then we date and it ruins our friendship (2)

Which is kinda what happened with me and my ex. He was one of my other best friends. We dated for 3.5 years. We broke up in May, & even though we said we wanted to stay friends, it’s kinda not happening. Which breaks my heart cause he’s one of the few people I can fully open myself up to & now he’s ignoring me. I get trying to stay best friends while dealing with the aftermath of a break up sucks, but I’d at least trusted him enough to say if he needed space. Idk my heart’s just a mess rn. (3)

Anyways, thanks for letting me kinda spout off to you. I hope you have a great Wednesday and enjoy being halfway to the weekend! ~PHP✌️

I mean yes Cisco. Grant Gustin is cute and all but I just want to throw Barry into a deep hole. The show should be all about Cisco. MORE CARLOS VALDEZ. 

It’s really weird thinking back about the 3 boys I dated (none of them seriously, all of them disastrously) and the other boys I’ve had ‘crushes’ on and realizing that in high school I would pick boys to have crushes on just to have an answer when friends inevitably asked. Even in college. Like… I really admired some boys or found them aesthetically pleasing but I don’t think I felt about any of them the way I do Cisco. Which is so weird to me. (Though there was that one moment of sensual attraction which totally caught me off guard and helped me eventually realize that I’m ace.)I hope I never meet Carlos Valdez. Because on the one hand YES GOOD but on the other OH MY GOSH THE ONLY BOY WHO EVER MADE ME HAVE A CRUSH NOW YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK MY HEART WHEN YOU DON’T RECIPROCATE? 

Anyway. That’s all about my crushes? Maybe someday I’ll tell you and the rest of tumblr about the Man Wall. 

And fair enough about the not wanting to say that while he’s dating. Totally get you on that. 

I’m really sorry about your rough break-up. That sucks. And he should at least say something especially since you two agreed to stay friends. I get needing space but you gotta COMMUNICATE (@him not you). 

You’re welcome to spout off anytime! I enjoy having an excuse to spout my weird feelings into the tumblr void and to your anon face. :) 

#party hat pat #true facts about the emeebee #Anonymous

[thespian-and-proud]

Can't sleep, haven't done one of these in a while..

1:Is there a boy/girl in your life? Yes there is 
2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Yes, they didn't mean it 
3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” Super Troopers 
4:What’s something you really want right now? To win the lotto 
5:Are you afraid of falling in love? No, just afraid of falling for the wrong person 
6:Do you like the beach? Love the beach, and have a love/hate relationship with the ocean 
7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yeah, my couch at my parents is a corner couch so we weren't squished 
8:What’s the background on your cell? My cat 
9:If someone came to your house weekly to do one chore for you, what chore would you have them do? umm i guess clean my room 
10:Do you like your phone? I love it! 
11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Some thing are, some things aren't 
12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Trevor which i'm surprised about. He was my first friend when I moved down here 
13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler definitely 
14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional 
15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo. I like animals :) 
16:Are you tired? Exhausted... all the time.. both physically and emotionally 
17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? 1st as in alphabetically? umm i only knew him for a semester at school years ago. We haven't talked since i dropped out 
18:Are they a relative? No just a friend from a previous school 
19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Nope. It didn't work then, it won't work now 
20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? recently, actually 
21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Well yeah, that's the goal isn't it? 
22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Of course I would, anytime, any place 
23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Just my FitBit if that even counts as a bracelet 
24:Is there a certain quote you live by? "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind" -Dr. Seuss 
25:What’s on your mind? Too many things... 
26:Do you have any tattoos? No but i'm in the process of planning my first! 
27:What is your favorite color? Purple 
28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Not for a while.. 
29:Who are you texting? No one at the moment, that's why i'm doing this :p 
30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes I have 
31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? lol too often 
32:Who is one person that you miss talking to, and why? Oh man.. ummm i'm gonna say everyone in new york cause I suck at keeping in contact with people i don't physically see on a regular basis 
33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I sure hope so 
34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? All the time, especially at work 
35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I'd walk away 
36:Were you single on Valentines Day? Nope! 
37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Lol yes i am 
38:What do your friends call you? Rachel 
39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? No one has directly upset me no 
40:Have you ever cried over a text? yes 
41:Where’s your last bruise located? On my thigh from flipping chairs at work 
42:If you could take a roadtrip somewhere, where would you go and why? New York to visit the family and friends I haven't seen in a while 
43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Every once in a while I imagine what things might be like if I just went off the grid 
44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Tim, cause the guy installing our TV service had a question 
45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? Yes but I rarely get to wear them cause i never go out 
46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Doesn't everyone? 
47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? I don't think so.. maybe short but not bald... 
48:Do you make supper for your family? On the rare occasion that i'm actually home at dinner time and i have the money for ingredients yeah i do 
49:Does your bedroom have a door? yeah, it would be awkward if it didn't 
50:Top 3 web-pages? that i visit on the daily? facebook, twitter, and the nmsu website 
51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Me :p 
52:Does anything on your body hurt? I'm sore from the gym 
53:Are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on who i'm saying goodbye to, but yeah I actually try and avoid goodbyes cause they're awkward for me 
54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? A coke at work when i was cleaning off tables and spilled the drink 
55:How is your hair? I've been having really good hair days lately 
56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Check my phone and go through social media to wake up my brain before getting out of bed 
57:Do you think two people can last forever? I do, if they're the right people for each other 
58:Who has been your all-time favorite celebrity crush? Mila Kunis 
59:Green or purple grapes? Green 
60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Honestly? I have no idea... 
61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? I mean i'm pretty comfy.. 
62:When will be the next time you text someone? Probably sometime tomorrow 
63:What is your favorite meal? Medium rare steak and garlic mashed potatoes 
64:What were you doing at 8 this morning. Sleeping 
65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Same as this year 
66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? More than one actually 
67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? hugged 
68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I was watching The Simpsons so probably something related to that 
69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time 
70: List your favorite Youtubers Joe Santagato and Cristine Rotenberg are my top 2 right now 
71:If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you visit and why? Puerto Rico to learn about my culture 
72:What is your ringtone? My call ringtone is one of the default iPhone ones, my text tone is the Kim Possible one 
73:How old are you? 23 
74:Where is your Mum right now? New York 
75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? We broke up because we lived on opposite sides of the US and then we both moved on, we're still friends though and talk every once in a while 
76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Nope 
77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? some yeah 
78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? I wasn't alive in the year 7... when i was 7 years old? no idea... 7th grade? Orlando Bloom 
79:If you could choose anywhere in the world to live, where would you live and why? Just somewhere peaceful away from neighbors 
80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yes, but I don't do it very often, usually I like to cuddle until i'm ready to sleep then we separate cause I move around in my sleep 
81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? i like my friends! so a lot of people ☺️ 
82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Nope 
83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Nope.. 
84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? I don't think i'd ever get drunk enough to do that.. 
85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? It would depend on a lot of things... 
86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? There was a child running around that I wanted to punch... 
87:Who was your last received call from? My boss 
88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? I'm a broke college student, what do you think? 
89:What is something you wish you had more of? Money :p and patience 
90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? Yup... 
91:Do you sleep with your window open? No it's too hot here for that 
92:Do you get along with girls? Not many.. 
93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Nope 
94:Does sex mean love? Nope 
95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Haha not at all 
96:What is your favorite book, and why? I don't read many books unfortunately but I guess my favorite would be Ella Enchanted cause it gives me all the feels and I can literally start it over as soon as I finish it and I still get the same reactions (p.s. the book and the movie are totally different stories and the book is so much more amazing) 
97:Did you sleep alone this week? Yup 
98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I'm lucky enough to have a few 
99:Do you believe in love at first sight? No but I believe in instant attraction 
100:What do you do for a career, and what would you love to be doing if you could do anything for a career? I'm stuck in food service but I would love to be working in theater or welding