#football machine

[mrrharper]

Academic requirements

Coach received some worrying information about one of his star players, DE1. His performance at practice and during games was still very good, great even. But it was all overshadowed by some disturbing reports. DE1 's grades have gone up since last season and he was seen walking around campus with a textbook in his hand. Moreover, his turnout at frat events dropped below 100% and he has been seen interacting with multiple nerds at least three times within the previous two weeks.

This was enough for Coach to get concerned, so he invited DE1 for a chat in his office. The jock entered the room and sat in a chair in front of Coach's desk. DE1 was one of Coach's finest specimens - he was absolutely huge. 6'5 and 260 pounds of pure muscle, with arms ready to tackle a mountain, pecs and shoulders prepared to withstand the pressure of the entire offensive line and legs the size of tree trunks. An absolute stud, and perfect advertisement of Coach's training methods.

Coach greeted DE1 and explained why he asked him to come - he laid out all the concerning rumors that were spreading withing the building of the Athletics Department - about his focus on studying and interacting with non-jocks. DE1, in turn, was confused by what he heard and didn't really know how to respond to his Coach's words.

He didn't have time to come up with anything to say though, as right after he finished speaking Coach turned his computer around and DE1 was now looking straight into a monitor displaying a condensed version of one of Coach's trusted hypnotic videos. The jock's attention suddenly shifted towards the screen, forgetting about anything else. His whole body relaxed in the chair, his legs now wide apart and showing off his bulge, visible through his shorts.

As the video showed shirtless jocks working out, then jocks in full gear tackling each other during a football game, then jocks partying and drinking while dancing with only boxers on, DE1 began drooling. As he did, subliminal messages continued to make their way into his brain

DUMB

BRO

FLEX

OBEY

LIFT

PARTY

JOCK

DAWG

The sounds encoded within the video only amplified these commands. Coach looked from behind the screen as his best edge rusher took in everything Coach wanted and slowly, but surely, returned to his proper ways - a jacked brute, capable only of lifting, partying and sacking every QB he encounters.

After a while the video came to an end. Coach took back his computer and DE1 blinked a few times, then wiped most of the drool form his face and scratched his crotch.

"uhhhhhhh, Coach.... what... happened, bruh?"

"Everything's fine. Let me ask you a few questions. What's your name."

"DE1, Coach, duh."

"And who are you?"

"Am the best DE in the conference, Coach!"

"What's your approach to college and classes?"

"Duuuuude, that's some nerd shit, lemme tell ya, Coach, I do just enough to go above the NCAA threshold for scholarship athletes, bro, huhuhuhuh"

"Good, DE1, and do you stay in contact with people who don't play football?"

"Ugh, dude, Coach, me? With a fuckin' nerd? Bruh, am doin' just fine with the dudes on the team. Ain't no one else I need to stay in contact with, Coach"

Coach grinned as DE1 responded exactly the way he was supposed to.

"Thanks, DE1, you're free now. Don't be late to tomorrow's practice"

"Will do, Coach!"

A day later Coach was notified of DE1 posting a shirtless photo on Instagram with the caption reading "who ready for that Alpha Phi beer fest bruhs?"

#jock #football jock #football machine #jock hypno

[michaelsheendaily]

Michael on Fantasy Football League 2/1/24

#michael sheen #michaelsheenedit #fantasy football league #sporty welshman #welsh seduction machine #michaelsheendaily

[squuote]

alright. thinks about this forever and weeps

#17776 #17776 football #WEEPS WEEPS #god how do I put this to words #the connection between metal and meat machines #sorry my reread is going very good and I’m very eager to chat about it AAAAGHHH

[montanasky]

Joe Burrow with Machine Gun Kelly and Trippie Redd in Columbus, Ohio | April 4, 2024

#joe burrow #cincinnati bengals #bengals #nfl #football #2024 #machine gun kelly #trippie redd

[prideprejudce]

I gotta say lads im getting pretty sick of celebrity culture

#whether its kanye parading his gf around completely naked #ts and her obviously pr relationship with football man while flying a plane across town to get starbucks #miss ponytail getting to be in a major film while parading the man she cheated with #celebs just getting the ultimate awards for being capitalist buisness machines #everything just revolves around money and greed and fame

[oldgamemags]

Mean Machines SEGA #16, Feb '94 - In development with 'Marko's Magic Football' on the SEGA Mega Drive.

#Marko's Magic Football #SEGA Mega Drive #Mean Machines SEGA 16 #Feb '94

[frankenbridez]

hii jen!! we havent talked in a while and i just wanted 2 drop by and say i hope ur doing well and that whenever i see mister ghost out in the wild i think of u like .. [ points ] wow like from jen tumblr cant believe they made him real!!

hi mischa !!! i literally thought abt u the other day (i saw a picture of beeblejuice) i hope ur doing well!! this is so sweet of u 💘

also !!!! it is true........ i am real........and so is the other mr ghost!!!!

#mailbox 💌 #doodz #little sunshine 🐻🐀 #in other news i spent 3 hours trying to put togethre a cheap ass sewing machine and failed miserably #life has been holding the football in front of me (i am charlie brown abt to be pranked) #imma be real idk if u called HIM mister ghost or ME mister ghost so i worked with the best of both worlds....

[i-love-def-leppard]

#def leppard #the fact that this game was played 30 minutes from my house is a crime that I was not alive to go and watch it #someone make a Time Machine PLEASEEE #football leppard

[memoriesoftanalorr]

Want to list my favorite underrated/forgotten animated series/animated movies

Stargate Infinity

Used to watch it as a kid, don't remember much but it's good I guess.

Xyber 9: New Dawn

This series is looking good and characters are interesting, I used to watch it as a kid. Don't remember much though.

Sandokan trilogy by Mondo TV.

I love it so much, as well as Emilio Salgari's novels.

Farhat: The Prince of the Desert.

Another Mondo TV's animated series I watched and it was fun actually. But I didn't watched season two.

The Magician is a French animated television series.

Watched it on TV and it was good.

Alpha Teens On Machines or A. T. O. M.

That's was interesting and cool series. I used to watching it a lot. Don't remember much nowadays about ut but having blurr pieces of the memories watching it.

Life with Louie

That's was funny and heartwarming. Louie's mom and dad reminds me of my patents lol.

Galactik Football

That's so cool and I miss it.

Oban Star Racers

That's was good when I was a kid, my adult self - why they're don't have noses? XD

Underrated Animated Movie

Gisaku 2006 or 2005 year

It's really incredible detailed and wonderful landscapes and characters and a plot is so interesting. But my country dub is don't have a good one for this movie. Huh. Anyway I have this movie on DVD. I can rewatch it soon. Why there's never get a sequel.

NASCAR Racers

That's was cool. Watched it several times on TV.

I could forget some of those.

#Stargate infinity #galactik football #Alpha teens on machines #oban star racers #mondo tv #sandokan #my thoughts

[omniversalobservations]

Paramount+ (2022)

In the height of the streaming wars advertising is everything. There have been a ton of creative ads in the past that have highlighted a particular streamer’s rich library, but Paramount+ might have just dropped the funniest streaming commercial of all time which sees the return of an iconic Key & Peele character. In the streamer’s latest ad, Keegan-Michael Key returns as "Substitute Teacher" Mr. Garvey who loses it over Paramount’s various kid-friendly IPs.

The ad has Mr. Garvey teaching at Survival School on the classic Paramount Mountain. He’s appropriately dressed up for the icy tundra in just his famous button-up t-shirt. If you’ve seen the previous sketches featuring the humorous character then you know what comes next… roll call. The short-tempered teacher exaggerates and gets everyone’s name wrong as usual, but there’s just something extra funny about Mr. Garvey losing his mind over mostly Nick Jr. characters like Blaze, Blue, and Big Nate. His reaction to Blue aka “Bee-Louie” from Blue’s Clues is particularly memorable as Mr. Garvey threatens war over the iconic dog. There are also deep cut characters like Krumm from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters that will make any Nickelodeon fan of the 90s feel so much gut-busting nostalgia. However, it’s not a substitute teacher sketch without Mr. Garvey breaking a clipboard over his knee as Dora from Dora the Explorer has the honor of pushing the freezing teacher over the edge this time around. Mr. Garvey is definitely not a fan of Spanish, or maybe it was just Dora’s endlessly positive energy that set him off. Thankfully NFL superstar Aaron Donald of the Los Angeles Rams is here to comfort Mr. Garvey in the “A-A-Ron” role.

Key & Peele, in its five season run on Comedy Central, was one of the best sketch comedy shows in television history. It helped propel both Key and his co-star Jordan Peele to superstardom. In an endless sea of memorable sketches, "Substitute Teacher" is arguably their most well known. Its simplicity and relatability paired with Key’s committed funny performance makes the character of Mr. Garvey stand the test of time. No matter how many times you watch Mr. Garvey freak out over a name, it never gets old. That’s why it’s so great to see Paramount bring the character back in all his glory with this new ad. Key hasn’t lost a beat and this survival class will go down in history as one of the funniest ads a streamer has ever done.

Source: Collider

(images via YouTube)

#commercials #Transformers #Star Trek #Big Nate #Aaahh!!! Real Monsters #Paw Patrol #Blaze and the Monster Machines #Dora the Explorer #Key and Peele #Monster High #Fantasy Football #Peppa Pig #Blue's Clues

[xivdl]

If you take requests, do you think you could try to do Erling ? I’d love to see him in your style (i would die if you do, but in a « wow this si so cool » way ) 💞

hes just like me fr (loves milk)

#thanks for the request! #his last goal against us still hurts like hell #hes a great personality though I can't hate him #also so so good #what a machine #art request #erling haaland #haaland #my_art #football fanart #v draws footy #manchester city #man city #mcfc

[lookninjas]

I am currently ducking into offices to check the (American) football scores.

Hope does weird things to a girl.

#detroit lions #also i kinda have to be a coiled machine ready to spring into action #but it could still be two hours because our football is SLOW

[michaelsheendaily]

He's just a happy Welshman talking about playing footie on Fantasy Football League ⚽

#michael sheen #michaelsheenedit #fantasy football league #sporty welshman #welsh seduction machine #michaelsheendaily

[ingravinoveritas]

David in Georgia’s stories today watching the game and not knowing a single thing about what’s happening but he would only go along to Wimbledon because Michael enjoyed going and was into sports. Bless his heart.

Love that I got some Wimbledon Anons today, which I think has to be a first for this blog. Haha. Anon #2, I think that certainly is a possibility. To my knowledge, in the book, Rivals does contain a lot of tennis (and apparently a naked tennis match? Let's hope that got filmed, oh, yes...), so it would make sense for David to have been at Wimbledon to learn and prepare for filming. This is further validated given that this picture with the Rivals cast appears to have been taken at the tournament today:

David playing tennis in Rivals? It's more likely than you think...

Anon #1: I'm assuming this is in response to what I wrote here about Michael and David going on a date to Wimbledon, and it's utterly delightful. I feel as though you've given me license to elaborate, so I am happy to do exactly that. Let's first get the picture of David up from Georgia's story, for those who haven't seen it:

I love this and your comments so much because it makes me think of David on The Last Leg, and how he talked about his entire lack of understanding of football is probably also how he talks about tennis:

(You watch the games and see the men in their shorts running around? Yes. Yes, you do, David...)

But to what you've described, Anon #1, I could absolutely see David agreeing to go to Wimbledon with Michael just because he knows Michael enjoys sports. I think they would make such a fetching couple at the tournament, too, with David in that gorgeous floral shirt and jacket/trousers. I've given some thought to what Michael would wear, and for whatever reason, my mind immediately went to the "sporty" outfit that Miles had on in Bright Young Things:

I feel like I could see Michael in a slightly more "mature," modern version of this. So, probably no hat, and perhaps wearing these sunglasses instead, but yes to the ribbed turtleneck jumper (and possibly a solid color version of the gingham jacket--unless Michael was feeling extra fancy) and no overcoat, since it's summer out.

Yes, I could certainly picture Michael and David sitting in the stands, Michael animatedly explaining every play and point to David as David just sits there looking at him completely smitten, far more enamored with Michael's excitement than the game itself. And of course, Michael giving David only the vaguest instructions for obtaining food at the snack bar and David coming back looking adorably bewildered with an armload of miscellaneous treats and Michael falling even more in love with him for it.

It truly is nice to think about, that is for sure. And I do still think David probably didn't absorb much more than "men running around in shorts" from Wimbledon, but bless him for giving it his all. Haha. Thanks for writing in, Anons! x

#anonymous #reply post #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #obviously this is how straight men describe football #bless his little cotton socks #david is lowkey bi and michael is highkey bi #yes? yes. #tell me again that they're not a couple #ineffable lovers #wimbledon #rivals #discourse

[catboyolli]

now I can see the whales

looming out of the dark

like arrows in the sky

I can't believe my eyes

but it's true

#ongoing gag where the crowd brings an inflatable dolphin and throws it back and forth during 'flying whales' #the quality is shit because 1. my phone is old 2. i bought the tickets like 2 days before the show because i didn't know if i could attend #and almost everything was already sold out. man i should've been down there getting beaten left and right by sweaty metalheads 😭 #anyway. mario plays the drums like a machine and was shirtless the entire night and when the camera was on him and we saw him through #the big screens let me tell you i was Looking Respectfully at the tiddies 💖 he put on our NT football shirt for his boat crowdsurfing bit #next tour I'm not gonna be studying so I will 100% take a vacation day and aim for barricade because I'm never getting assigned seats again #sorry but this is my Band of the Year in my heart even if wrapped says otherwise

[dropout-ninja]

For @grollow’s latest W&G chapter, this very quick sketch of two old men being right and wrong and smackable tbh

Brats

(Spoilers under the cut? If I managed the cut right?)

(I did not do it right)

#grollow #ashyr who now is grollow #have not grollow art #fanart #W&G #PK is still going to answering machine #but I still feel like both have a point #but also kick him Grimm #kick him #like a football