#he’s not gonna be sunshine and daisies. something about him is gonna be selfish. mean. what is it? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsnancywheeler · 1 month

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omg how do u think the chicago show went down for billy and his muse :0

bc that part where they’re performing More Fun to Miss and billy’s getting all close to daisy would HURT reader. maybe in this universe it really is all an act and she knows daisy wouldn’t do that to her, but she still gets insecure and gets even more confused about where she stands with him :( that was a line billy never crossed until now bc it was always with other groupies.

Or how eddie and billy have that moment on stage since 90% of their beef is because of how he treats muse reader😭

idk! i’ve been obsessed with ur billy blurbs so i wanted to hear ur #thoughts 🫣

-🦅

literally that song has so much sexual tension, it drives me insane every single time I watch it and here's the thing. this is the point where reader's given billy the tour, she'll be there for him during that and that's it. if he doesn't make his choice by the end then it's over and she'll be done for good.

but regardless, there is so much tension and the cycle has really started again on top of all that, he's mean, eddie is holds you when you cry, it's a rough time and by chicago it's all at the breaking point. so when he's looking at daisy like that, when he's so close, smirking, there's a pit in your stomach of realization, a feeling of he's never gonna change. and you get it because daisy is talented, gorgeous, magnetic, but he could leave you for her in a second and the media would probably love it so much more. and you're basically sick to your stomach

and when you find out that this is the end of eddie, that he's done with the band forever, and you're so distraught. because now billy is promising to go to rehab, to get better, but you're about to lose eddie forever. the chips are down.

"eddie, what are you doing?" you're in the doorframe of his hotel room as he packs up.

he looks at you long and hard, "I'm done with the band, I can't do this anymore. everything always goes his way and I can't sit back and watch him treat you the way he does anymore"

"you're leaving me?" your voice cracks ever so slightly, just like the rest of his heart.

"I'm leaving the band."

you're walking further into the room, closer to him, "eddie, I know it's been rough, but it's all gonna get better, yeah? just stay, please, stay."

"no, it's not."

"yeah it is. billy and daisy are both going to rehab, and I'm not sure what's going on with graham and karen, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. we'll all be okay, you just have to stay"

"I can't live in the shadow of billy dunne anymore, I need to leave"

and you understand, you really do, you want him to do what's best for you. but it'll break your heart to let go of him and have to wait to see if billy lives up to his promise. and you can't deal with all that without eddie, he's been your only rock. and you feel selfish for crying.

"it won't be like before and if it is then leave, but not now, don't go yet"

"come with me" and you're looking up at him and so tempted. because you do love him, just not with the same intensity you have for billy, but maybe billy will let you down again, so you should choose the stable option.

"what?"

"come with me, sunshine. I'll figure something else out and we can be happy together." and you're staring so blankly because you really don't know. "you know all this can't last forever, you were always going to have to make a choice. and it hurts me to ask you too, but you can wait for him or come with me. and that's that."

you're crying unabashedly now, "eddie, I can't-"

some part of eddie knew you were always going to pick billy, so he accepts it solemnly, "I know, sunshine, I know."

"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you"

"yeah, sometimes things just happen, I get it." he's got his bag strapped over his shoulder, "just don't stay with him if he doesn't keep his promises, you deserve so much better."

then you're kissing him one last time, he'll miss your taste, the softness of your lips, the way you hold his face. and when he pull away and looks in your eyes he remembers how young you are, especially when you a mutter out a small, "please, don't be a stranger ed's. can you call me?" how you went from a girl listening to a band to being in a complicated, turbulent relationship with a rockstar so fast and he doesn't know if he's ever pitied you more. in his gut he knows the band is over and you'll have to go back to a normal life after years of this, and he isn't sure if billy ever will be doing better. but eddie can't stay. and if he calls then he may never move on so he kisses your forehead, squeezes your hand, and is gone.

it really does feel like your world has come crashing apart, karen leaves, warren goes to be with lisa, eddie is gone, billy and daisy in rehab, and you're begging graham to just come to california for a while. he agrees for a few weeks and it does help you settle somewhat, having a familiar face, someone to bring you down. but eventually he has to go and you have to reintegrate into the socialite lifestyle of your father, have days where you're desperately looking for something to do because you're used to spending everyday at the studio or on tour. but now everyday is just endless nothing, getting back to your friends, laying on the beach, but you miss billy, you miss eddie, you miss everyone

eventually you do small modeling gigs for magazines to fill your time, people admire your fashion and you're in the media simply for being a young socialite, but parties aren't nearly as fun without the people you'd grown so close too. and I mean your heart literally jumps out of your chest when billy knocks on it one day.

anyways yeah lmao 💋

#wanda 💋#billy dunne x reader angst #billy dunne angst #billy dunne #billy dunne x reader #djats x reader #eddie roundtree #🦅 anon

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abbabycchio · 3 years

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Flowers based on how they feel about you/ think of you. P2

This time with La Squadra! Thank you for the attention I got on the Bucci gang! I love being able to talk about flowers and my favorite characters💕💕 sorry for the long wait!

Risotto Nero: Since you met him he’d fallen in love with you, you were amazing and perfect, and in his most vulnerable moments he’d tell you. Unfortunately being the Capo and the strongest of the traitorous team La Squadra ment it was too high a risk to pursue a relationship with you. So for your safety he had to reject you.

Magenta Zinnia: Lasting Affection

Striped Carnation: No, Refusal, Sorry I Can't Be With You, Wish I Could Be With You

He’ll send you these flowers along with a note apologizing for any pain it brings you. He sees it as his final interaction with you, but still lets you know how much you mean to him.

My carissimo. I couldn’t stop the tears that fell onto my legs as I sat and rekindled my feelings for you. The comfort of your voice, you telling me “you’re gonna be alright” always mends my broken heart. There’s something about your voice that gives me the comfort I need. I’ve learned so many things from you. I’ve never been with someone who makes me laugh as much as you. You taught me what a real relationship was by having pillow talks with me before we went to bed. I wish life had a more simpler game plan. I love you so much. Til the day I die I’ll remember you forever.

-Risotto Nero.

Prosciutto: He sees you as so much more than you could ever see yourself as. That being said he knows how cruel the world can be and makes it his mission in life to protect and love you for the rest of his life. He’s also the only one in the group that goes all out when it comes to buying gifts.

Red Amaryllis: find incredibly beautiful, value beyond their beauty

Yellow Snapdragon: Gracious. Fascinating. Protection from evil

Dahlia: the lasting bond and commitment between two people

Very silently shoves these flowers towards you and walks away. It’s only until you gain control over your beating heart that you notice an elegant ribbon wrapped around the bouquet with a note attached.

The time is now to believe my promises and trust me to shelter you from the storms that will come in this life. I am truly the knight in shining armor your heart longs for and I am the one who has already given his life for you. I know your hidden fears, but you must learn to look to me when life is hard. I am the rock on which you can stand when all around you seems to be sinking. So stand on my word and hide it in your heart and you will never sink in hopelessness again.

-Prosciutto.

Pesci: he’s like a big puppy, he easily fell in love with you and in the most innocent way. Just seeing you smile brightens up his day and makes him excited to spend any days to come with you.

Yellow Tulip: cheerfulness and sunshine

Coral Honeysuckle: I love you

He replaces these flowers anytime he sees that the ones he already gave you are dying so the bright colors are always illuminating your days.

I’m writing this to tell you that I love you. You’re my first thought when I wake up, and my last when I got to sleep. I need your love more and more each day, like an addiction of some sort.

-Pesci.

Ghiaccio: He sees you as the calm to his storm, he is so thankful for you, and although he doesn’t say it much you know that. Everyday he does his best to learn more about you and create a bond deeper than flesh.

Purple hydrangeas: EMOTION, UNDERSTANDING, a desire to deeply understand someone

Black Bryony: Be my support

He doesn’t actually give these to you an a bouquet, he likes to place them in your hair, of behind your ears. Sometimes he even makes little flower crowns with the Black Bryony vines and places the Hydrangea flowers around it.

My love, just a moment ago I thought about you and my heart was filled with gratitude. So before another moment goes by I want to say thank you. Thank you for the late night laughs and the early morning kisses. Thank you for holding my hand throughout this life. Thank you for your love and friendship, and most of all thank you for the pleasure of calling you mine.

-Ghiaccio.

Melone: He thirsts for you so hard! After he met you everyone else was nothing compared to your beauty. He physically can't keep his hands off you. After he saw you he immediately pined for your affection.

Black Orchid: ADMIRATION, INNOCENCE, strength, virility, sexual desires, and success

Lavender Rose: enchantment and love at first sight, blossoming romance.

He sends a very professionally designed bouquet of these flowers, bringing more than one bundle a day to the point where you don’t know what to do with all those flowers.

I want you more and more. I often have erotic memories of you and I hurry to get home. I love to feel myself inside you; I love to feel my virile member slashing your skin, like burning iron teasing your desire. I have visions of you on top of me, riding my hips, making me moan with pleasure with your vigorous and precise movements. I love to feel the dense and warm liquid of your pleasure run down my body. I love to feel that you are mine. vigorous but at the same time, defenseless, relying on my arms and the warmth of my body. I love when you fall asleep in my arms, resting your head on my shoulder for countless minutes, after I irrigated your flesh with my abundant semen. I like the taste of your saliva when you kiss my mouth and I like the warmth of your heat when I kiss you between your thighs... I love your kisses more and more, your cuddles and your strength. And I’m writing to you to tell you I miss you too much.

-Melone.

Formaggio: He is smitten with you. Probably the most obviously loyal out of all of the boys, not that all of them aren’t, but you are 100% sure that you are his entire world. In your relationship he tries his best to be as romantic as possible any time that he can.

Pink Peony: ROMANCE, PROSPERITY, love at first sight

Lemon Blossom: I promise to be true, Fidelity in love

He’s the kind to see these flowers in shop or on a bush, and just takes it and gives it to you.

To my forever, I think we make the perfect couple. We understand each other so well. We listen to each other. I cannot wait to spend eternity with you, because there’s no place I’d rather be than with you. You’re stuck with me cara, You better remember that! I love us!

-Formaggio.

Illusio: Although he is usually a little raunchy by nature, but he loves you delicately. Which surprised the entire gang. His personality switch between seeing you and working is drastic. It’s more of an innocent, refined love. Fancy dinners, passionate nights. He puts his entire ego into making the best dates for you two.

Cornflower: Refinement, Delicacy

Daisy: innocence, loyal love, and purity.

You would be standing or sitting somewhere in base and suddenly a hand would come out of the mirror near you and drop a bouquet of flowers in your hand.

My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again, my Life seems to stop there. I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving. I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you.

-Illuso.

Sorbet & Gelato: Sorbet and Gelato were so grateful when you came into their lives, they were already in love with each other but finding you made their already love filled lives more special. When you got the news from Risotto you were heart broken, one day you were happily in love with the two most special men in your life, and the next you were mourning the loss of both of them.

FORGET-ME-NOT: True Love, Memories

Delphinium: a first love, strong bonds of love.

You had gotten a bundle of flowers at your door step with two notes attached, one was from Risotto telling you that Sorbet and Gelato had sent you a note, along with a few wishes in their Will. The other was the note Sorbet and Gelato had written, only to be read by you after their death.

This is not a goodbye my darling, this is a thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives and giving us joy, thank you for loving us and receiving our love in return. Thank you for the memories we made together. But most of all, thank you for showing us that there will come a time when we will be together again.

-Sorbet&Gelato.

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jangpoo · 7 years

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So here's the thing:

Idk if people actually understand what Coach Katoka just said to Furuya and how important it was for him to hear. It’s gonna be a long ride and if you are looking for me to hate on Furuya, you aren’t going to get it here. This is a novel, so if you are down to read and you finished all of your finals, keep reading.

When I was coaching, the thing I rammed into my players heads was, “If you don’t work hard, you will not be successful.” I don’t give a damn how good you are, how fast you are, how strong your arm is, how well you can block a ball. I don’t give a shit. Because at the end of the day, in a tied ball game, last at bat, down 3 balls and two strikes with two outs, and one pitch can end the whole damn season, you better BELIEVE I’m going to put the player that has been under the most pressure all year and has shown me results through hard work and dedication. A damn natural talent may win little league games, but it sure as hell isn’t going to win championships with the big kids. The ones that are going to win are kids that have the right mindset, the right attitude, and the right work ethic.

The thing about Furuya is that he’s not a bad player by any means. He also doesn’t have a bad attitude despite what many people think. He isn’t lazy. And I see people give him a lot of shit about a lot of stuff. (I don’t feel that way about him at all and quite frankly, if you hate him because he was receiving all the attention over Sawamura, I have difficulty holding any validity towards your opinions of him, plain and simple). But I think the real issue I’ve always had with his character, despite really enjoying him, is his inability to understand what the real definition of success is. Now, this is all my opinion and we’re just talking semantics, so nobody has to agree with me on this, but just try to hear me out.

First I want to show you these two panels:

That right there is the first issue. He is probably terrified to be at third. He hasn’t played there before, he probably hasn’t even practiced there. Kanemaru even says it, “His movements are so stiff. At this rate, he won’t be able to catch the ball when it comes flying his way.” But here’s the difference between Sawamura and Furuya: Sawamura don’t give a shit. People call him an idiot all the time, which he can be a lot of the time, but sometimes, idiots make the best athletes. Sawamura doesn’t get fixated in the mood and the stress. He doesn’t worry about making mistakes or about whether or not a ball is coming his way. He simply learns how to play the position and plays it to the best of his ability, even if he ends up making a fool out of himself (every chapter of him playing a position other than pitcher in earlier chapters says enough about that poor boy’s ability to play in the field). And even though Furuya said that he was going to do his best last chapter, he’s still scared (I don’t blame him). Would Sawamura be scared? Probably, but he’d yell to the other about having his back because he’d be making a lot of errors, so that’d probably calm him down (I feel like that’s his coping mechanism).

Okay, the next issue I have is this: A lot of people call Furuya selfish because they think he wants all the attention. They think he only wants to be the ace and nothing else and that he thinks he’s the best. We have found out in act ii that he definitely doesn’t think that and I’ve never thought that he had. However, I do think that Furuya was an “assumer”. This is the name I gave my athletes that came onto the team being told they were great. It wasn’t that they had bad attitudes and thought they were the best for no reason. These “assumers” were usually the most amazing athletes and were the most talented in the bunch. So what is an assumer? An assumer, to me, was somebody who knew they had talent, knew they had to work to keep that talent, and assumed that there were never going to be any issues. The biggest downfall of “assumers” is their inability to understand that shit happens.

Another person I would put under this “assumer” umbrella is none other than Miyuki Kazuya (WHAT? OMG NO!) Yes, you heard me. Because guess what happened. Mr. Miyuki was real gun-ho about his ability to get the best out of pitchers. He felt real good about the whole, “even if they hate me, I’m going to make them the best” mentality. And then guess what happened? Sawamura got the yips. Nori didn’t believe in himself anymore. He got hurt. He wasn’t able to play. And guess who changed? Miyuki. I don’t know if other people noticed, but it wasn’t until after he was hurt that he began to take different approaches. He talked to his pitchers a bit more, he realized he was leaving and didn’t have enough time with them, he agreed to talking to them about pitch sequences, he is working more on his hitting to make sure they get the run support they need, he told the second year pitchers to practice with the younger catchers and stop relying on him. The “assumer” stopped assuming that everything was going to be sunshine and daisies. He now thinks ahead of time and says, “in order to make this team successful, even after I leave, what can I do?” This is not, by any means, the only reason he began to act this way though. He was probably humbled due to the injury and his position as a captain, probably a bit of maturity too. But I stand by the fact that it was an eye opening experience for him to see that he isn’t going to always get to play baseball, and I know I’m not the only one that saw how depressed he was about it.

So how is Furuya an assumer? The same way Miyuki was. He got hurt. Not once though! He’s hurt again. As we saw last chapter, he’s starting to realize that he has very little room for mistakes on the team. He has to play wherever they need him because if that’s what is going to make the team better, that’s what you have to do.

I absolutely respect him for coming to that conclusion on his own and making sure that Yui realized making that decision doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It just means you are willing to do what’s right for the team, something I need Okumura to learn (but that’s a whole other post for another day). Now does this mean he is happy with having to do it? Hell no, and he shouldn’t be because he was too good of a pitcher to do that.

So now for the question at hand: What kind of pitcher is the best pitcher in Japan to you? HOLY SHIT, THAT QUESTION. This is the question that should have been asked to Furuya the second he walked onto the field in a Seidou uniform, and I entirely blame this on Coach Kataoka. This has been a long time coming. I want to go back to “If you don’t work hard, you will not be successful.” The real question he’s being asked has nothing to do with being the best pitcher or anything like that. The part of the question that holds any meaning whatsoever is “to you”. What do you think success is? What kind of player do you want to become? Because while thinking of the team is important, if you allow it to affect you so much that it negatively affects you, you are inadvertently hurting the team. Furuya not being at his best is going to cause the team a lot of issues. Sawamura and Nori can’t pitch every game and to have someone throw as hard as Furuya and then put in either one of them is going to throw the other team so hard off their game it isn’t even funny.

Here’s the semantics part of my little documentary/novel I’m writing here: Success, in my opinion, has never been about the winning or losing. It’s never been about being the best player or hitting a home run or not making any errors that day. Because if you base success on these goals, all you have left is disappointment and fear. You play like you are afraid of failure. Sawamura had the fucking yips, bro. He hit the lowest of the low but even when he was pouting and was excluded from practices and not even allowed to step in the bullpen, he was successful. He ran everyday and gained stamina. He worked on his own in the indoor facility throwing balls to a net. He would visualize a batter and pretend to throw outside to them. He put all of his energy into learning how to perfect an outside pitch to compensate for his inability to pitch to the inside (praise our lord and savior Chris senpai). Because despite how pitiful he looked and probably felt, this wilted sunflower was going to rise from the soil and become a fucking pitcher because that’s why he went to mother fucking Seidou in the first place!!! He had hit his low and there was no going any lower. He had been through disappointment after disappointment, yet continued to fight for his spot on that mound because that was his definition of his success! It was never about just being the ace because if it were, what goal would he have after he achieved it? Be the best in college, the best in the country, the best in the world? No! It was and always will be about the grind! “How early am I going to wake up to go for that run? Where the fuck is Miyuki-senpai so he can catch for me? Haruichi, I want to hit with you! Kanemaru, put your protective gear on, I’m going to pitch to you and if I hit you, my bad!” Because no matter what goal you have, especially when it’s about becoming the best of whatever, there is always going to be that empty feeling when you achieve it! So when you make your success the process, you will never feel that emptiness. You will always strive to be better than you were before.

So, Furuya! What kind of pitcher is the best pitcher in Japan to you? Because to me, it’d be someone who worked outside of the bullpen to become an even better outfielder. To me, it’d be someone who took care of himself and learned new stretches to make sure he didn’t get hurt anymore. To me, it’s a guy that walks out on the field, giving no shits about what position he plays or what the end of the game’s result is! It’s about how hard you are willing to work and how much you love the game, even if that means you have to make sacrifices! And here’s the part that gets to me and made me a little emotional:

I see no beauty in Furuya’s sadness and I am not happy to see him this way. However, what I am happy about is that he is beginning to understand. He’s seeing that he’s fighting a battle against a guy that is never going to give up. So now he has to make a decision: do you continue to pursue your success or do you allow yourself to find a new one? There is no right or wrong answer to that. But what I hope happens is that Furuya spends less time focusing on being in the bullpen and try to separate himself a bit. Try going to the corner and throwing to a net. Work on your grips to make sure you get the spin you want. Work in the cages like you have been and work on bunting more. Try to be a positive influence to the younger players and make an effort to associate with them. And more than anything, I hope we see him smiling and loving the game. I want him to sit back and just realize he’s playing baseball.

And if you made it to the end of this, then congratulations, it’s probably been 2 days since you started this damn rant. I can’t wait to see what happens in this story guys, I’m getting so hyped y’all.

#daiya no ace #furuya satoru #sawamura eijun #miyuki kazuya #daiya no a act ii #love these kids

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rellanka · 7 years

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So, as proof that I am not only a salty little cracker filled with protective bitterness, but can actually contribute other things sometimes, here's the newest fanwork I've created!

WinterIron, and set in a universe where Steve both told Tony about his parents a lot earlier, and got Tony's help with finding Bucky. Bucky was thus found a lot earlier than CACW.

***

A Short Love (also here on AO3)

"Your love will be short." Bucky's always viewed his words as a forewarning that he was meant for tragedy.

***

Bucky couldn’t exactly describe the feelings swimming through him as he prepared to make his way to the personal floors in Stark tower. Sure there was the feeling of relief mixed with fear that came with being away from Hydra. There was the happiness that came from being reunited with Steve, the closest thing to a brother that Bucky had ever had. There was even an odd feeling of excited expectation roiling in his gut that Bucky couldn’t explain no matter how he tried, that had only grown as he came closer and closer to the place where he would officially meet Tony Stark.

(The man that had opened his home and his resources up to Bucky, even after everything that Bucky had done.)

But over all of those emotions was a feeling of dread and unworthiness. How could he ask to live in the man’s home? After he had killed that man’s parents? Something about it seemed fundamentally wrong, even entitled to have such an expectation toward someone he had hurt so badly.

Steve, seeming to notice his agitation, reached a hand up to squeeze his shoulder supportively as they waited for the elevator. “I’ve told you time and time again, Buck. It wasn’t your fault and Tony realizes that. He doesn’t blame you, and you need to stop blaming yourself.”

Bucky forcefully kept himself silent. He just didn’t have the energy to get into that old argument with Steve right now, especially with how out of control his emotions already were. If he kept silent, Steve would at least take the hint not to push it. …Well, that response worked part of the time, at least.

And it worked this time as Steve was more focused on getting Bucky into the elevator as it arrived than pushing the argument further.

“It’s gonna be okay now, Bucky. Things are going to get better.” He said with his ever present optimism once they were on the elevator, turning to Bucky with a hopeful smile.

Bucky snorted in disbelief. “Better, Steve? So my life is gonna be sunshine and daisies from now on, then? I haven’t even met Them yet.”

Them. The ever-present Them. Who ‘Them’ was didn’t need to be clarified, not to Steve. In a world where people got hints written out on their skin directing them to their soulmate, hints that could go from vague riddles hinting as to where to find the soulmate, to what sort of life they would have, to first words, to physical descriptors (but always with hints that matched), some people were just born unlucky. Bucky, whose words “Your love will be short.” had let him know without a doubt that he was destined to lose the love of his life early had been bracing himself for tragedy since the words came in. There would be no happy ending, not for Bucky.

Even away from Hydra he was destined to lose.

(He figured the only ‘luck’ he had was that the words were written on his right arm and not his left so that he had definite confirmation that he hadn’t met his soulmate yet. That he hadn’t killed them. The words would have been colored gold and more heavily designed if he had.)

But he regretted bringing it up as Steve looked at Bucky like he had just slaughtered an entire family worth of puppies right in front of him.

“Buck-“ He began, only to be interrupted by the elevator opening in front of them.

They were there.

“C’mon Stevie, let’s get this over with.” Bucky muttered as he pushed his way out of the elevator.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to think the first time that he saw Tony Stark in person, though ‘Beautiful.’ wasn’t it. But Bucky didn’t know a better word to describe the man waiting for them in what looked like a living room, a man who somehow had had some warning that they were there from the way that he was standing facing the doorway. A darker skinned man stood beside him, obviously military from the way he stood, and just as obviously protective of Stark from the way he tried to angle his body slightly between the other man and Bucky and Steve.

“So,” Stark said, clapping his hands together and then gesturing to each person as he spoke once Bucky and Steve were fully in the room, “Introductions. You should already know who I am, and if you don’t I am deeply, deeply offended. To my right is the best Colonel the military has ever seen, lent to them by gracious me. Rhodey, you should wave or salute or something. You already know Captain Tightpants, sugarpie, so no need to reintroduce you two. And beside Tightpants is James Barnes, Cap’s BFF who Cap had the good sense to ask me for help with finding.”

Steve was frowning disapprovingly at Stark, looking like he was about to say something about his over-the-top greeting, but Bucky… Bucky thought he understood it. Already he was feeling a little less nervous, a little less shaky in his skin as Stark’s showboating drew all the attention to himself and allowed Bucky to relax from the feeling- the expectation- that all eyes were on him. Gave him a chance to really observe Stark, and to see how he wasn’t as nerveless as he appeared, little physical tells giving away the truth even as he covered them up with even grander gestures.

“Stark,” Bucky began as Stark stopped the introductions and before he could start in on another spiel, interesting as Bucky was sure it would have been (why did he feel like he could watch Stark for days?), “I’m really thankful for you letting me stay here. Really. But considering, well, everything, me staying here is probably gonna cause you a lot of stress. So before we even begin I want to let you know that I can find somewhere else to stay if I need to; I’m not completely helpless. And it’s not fair to ask you to open up your home like this if it means you don’t get to be comfortable in it anymore.”

Steve had turned his frown to Bucky, “Buck, I said-“

But Stark himself cut Steve off, looking a little less nervous and a little more wry, “Don’t know what people have been telling you, Barnes, but I’m not exactly the self-sacrificial type.” Bucky heard the man Stark had called Rhodey snort in the background, but Tony carried on like he hadn’t heard him. “I’m clearing the air up right now: It wasn’t your fault. My parent’s deaths? You had nothing to do with them. You were the unwilling tool that Hydra used to bring about their deaths. I am not going to blame you for something Hydra did, Barnes. Neither should you, but that shits harder than most people think. So here’s the deal: you try not to blame yourself, and I’ll try to get you whatever help you need to make that happen. And you only move out of the Tower if it’s making you feel uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t a fair deal, not for Tony- but a part of Bucky desperately wanted to accept it. It was strange, that the first person Bucky actually wanted help from was the one whose parents he had killed, no matter what Stark said. Still, Bucky was selfish enough to agree to it, even though a part of him cursed himself for that selfishness. So Bucky met Stark’s eyes and nodded wordlessly.

Tony held out a hand.

Bucky raised his hand to meet Stark’s.

And as soon as their skin touched, his mark– the one he had just been talking about with Steve on the elevator- The one that Bucky had always known would mean tragedy would be a prevalent theme in his life- The one that had brought him sorrow since the moment it had first shown up on his skin and he had understood its meaning-

His mark glowed gold.

“Motherfucking, son of a cocksucking-“ Stark, Tony, himself had stumbled away and begun tearing off his suit jacket, jerking off the cuff links to yank his sleeve up his arm to display his own mark, similarly glowing gold as designs started creeping around the letters.

Bucky had just enough time to see but not really register “Your love will be tall.” before Stark lowered his arm to start pacing and cursing, in English and several other languages, with vigor.

He finally whirled to face a frozen Bucky, who had been shocked deaf, dumb and silent by the revelation of his soulmate, and his soulmate’s words. (Steve was similarly frozen beside him, seeming to only be able stare between Bucky and Tony with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.)

“Three inches,” Tony gritted out between clenched teeth. (Rhodey, who had just been recovering from the laughing fit that had overcome him a little after their marks started glowing gold and had half collapsed against a couch, started laughing hysterically again.) “You are three inches. Taller. Than me. Three. Inches. This is bullshit!” Tony shouted to the ceiling, looking like he felt that a grievous wrong had been done in the universe.

(“Cabinets.” Rhodey gasped somewhere in the background. “Cabinets, shelves, FYTP*, oh fuck, Tony, FYTP.”)

Tony jerked around to face Rhodey with what looked like one heck of a tangent waiting on his lips, but Bucky-

“Physical descriptors.” Bucky could vaguely feel himself saying, his brain rebooting from his universe being turned upside down as everything he thought he knew turned on its head. “Our words. They’re physical descriptors?”

Tony stopped from where he'd been headed towards Rhodey and turned to him at that, and even Rhodey had stopped his laughter when he heard how strangled Bucky had sounded, to look first at Bucky, than at Tony.

“Yeah,” Tony said, expression softening as something like understanding filled his features instead as he glanced down at Bucky’s words, still glowing slightly on his skin, before looking back up to meet his eyes, “No other way they would match. Afraid you’re stuck with me.”

Bucky looked at the man in front of him. At the wonderful, impossible man. At the man Bucky wouldn’t have to love than lose, at the man that there was a good possibility he might be able to keep. At the man that Bucky would never, ever give up because after years of thinking that he would lose him… To know that there was a chance that he wouldn’t? It was a gift that Bucky was entirely incapable of not grasping onto with everything he was, with every tattered, broken piece of himself. Tony was his now, just as Bucky belonged to Tony, and Bucky would never let anything take them away from each other. No matter what he had to do, as long as Tony still wanted him, he would always fight any battle, wage any war, to make sure they were able to stay together.

And with this resolve, Bucky looked at his soulmate and said, “No. You’re stuck with me.”

End

*FYTP, pronounced ‘fight’ and standing for ‘Fuck You Tall People’ is a bot that Tony created while at MIT, at the height of his stature issues. Its main body is basically a long arm capable of reaching high places to get the items stored in said places. Tony gave her to Rhodey because she kept picking Tony up so that he could reach those high places himself and that was potentially dangerous (not to mention very embarrassing) in the lab. (She never tried to do the same thing to Rhodey.) Tony still goes over to Rhodey’s place to visit her at least once a month.

A/N: No, Tony was not cursing about, or at, Bucky in particular. He was cursing at fate for giving him a hint that gave him life-long height issues when his soulmate was only three inches taller than him. After living through a lifetime of that, he’d really expected his soulmate to be seven feet tall, or something. Seriously. Tony did not appreciate the joke about his height, fate. In fact, his side of the summary went: "Your love will be tall." Meanwhile, Tony's always had a good suspicion as to what context his words are in, and he has a few fucking choice words for fate should he ever meet it. (Fate, if it has a form, is probably a tall person. Fucking-) but I decided not to post it to hopefully surprise my readers a little. Who didn’t see the ‘This Fic is Not What it Appears To Be’ tag and thought it would be angst the whole way through? Did I manage to fool at least one person? *geek-ishly hopes*

Also, don’t judge Rhodey for laughing, please. He’s probably the main one that’s put up with Tony’s height issues, which is ironic since Rhodey is actually shorter (though that wasn’t true when they were younger). In fact, more than once in their past, Tony had tried to get Rhodey to team up with Tony against the Tall People™, but to Tony’s disappointment Rhodey always (mostly) refused. Didn’t stop Tony from trying it (multiple times), though.

#Tony Stark #Bucky Barnes #WinterIron #I write sometimes

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