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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year

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Discord Highlights: Headcanon Marathon

Meg suggested I write this all as a bullet point list instead of copying the chat this time; which is probably a good idea considering the workload here LOL

On the night of 5/4/23, we here at the Fig Tree Discord Server got together and headcanoned:

Primrose Gamgee is a redhead like her mother

Prim was born deaf

Prim and her brother Bilbo are thick as thieves

Signing doesn't come naturally to Bilbo, but he tries his hardest, and Prim understands him anyway

Goldilocks may or may not be named the way she is because Sam wanted to name a daughter Galadriel but Rosie wanted the hobbit version so they compromised

For the first like four years of her life Goldi thought she was named after a flower like her big sisters and was very confused why her parents laughed when she asked to plant goldilocks in the garden

Frodo later comforts her like "it's okay they can't plant Frodo either" and that got her giggling like crazy

She decides dandelions are goldilockses and is delighted when they show up in the yard

Sam is not

Actually Sam is just fine with this because hobbit lawns encourage natural biodiversity and also dandelions are good in salads

The Gamgee family is a big loud singing household

The Sound of Music, but it's Bag End

Fatty Bolger has three daughters and no other kids

One is Athelas, nicknamed Addie

Addie got sick when she was young and lost most of her hearing

Addie is best friends with Prim Gamgee

Addie and Prim hang out all the time and, in addition to being fluent in SSL (Shire Sign Language), they also constantly make up their own nonsense signs so that no one else can understand them

Another Bolger daughter is Azalea, nicknamed Azzie

Azzie and Addie are very close in age

(Not sure if we reached a consensus on who's older, but I feel like Azzie is older)

Azzie is a natural storyteller; she gets it from her dad

Since she tells her stories with both her voice and her hands it's somehow more spellbinding

She discovered puppet shows at the age of 3 and a half and was instantly hooked

When she's older, she makes her own puppets

Puts on puppet shows for her family

They don't have any talking, just Action, and Addie loves the action best

She used to put on shows for Baby Heather before she was ambulatory and got quite offended once Heather was old enough to crawl away

The youngest Bolger daughter is Heather

Heather is a good deal younger than her sisters and is spoiled rotten but she's the sweetest thing

Heather is constantly hungry and always eating, and yet she stays Very Short

She's perfectly healthy and round, just Smol

Mental image: Four girl hobbits (Prim, Addie, Azzie, and Heather) in a blanket tent, signing rapidly to each other, and no words can be heard but an unending stream of giggles

They're having a sleepover and Fatty has to keep coming in to tell them to be quiet. Heather and Azzie promise they'll hush, but Prim and Addie don't realize how loud they're being and it just sets the other two off all over again.

Azzie hears the story of Beren and Luthien from Prim's dad (very important he is, he's the mayor, you know!), and she sews her own puppets and puts on a show of it

The Beren puppet has a hand that's held on by a button

Once (don't ask me how) Aragorn and Arwen get to watch Azzie's Beren and Luthien show

They have nothing but positive reviews

(Even if Baby Heather tried to eat the wolf puppet halfway through)

Arwen is delighted and wants to help Azzie make some beautiful blinged out elvish puppets with gems sewn into them

Azzie never uses them but they are kept in a glass box and TreasuredTM

Fatty likes to wrestle with his friends' sons, since he has no boys of his own

Addie, however, is a tomboy and WILL go at it with her father if given the chance

Addie and Frodo Gamgee got in a fight once. For fun. She's four years younger than Frodo, and bby Frodo had to suffer a lecture from his no-nonsense dad, but Addie got off easy and Frodo still holds a bit of a grudge lol

He still thinks she's cool tho

(To which I suggested: "ship??" and got at least one eyes emoji, so there's that)

Prim is neither the best friend who's always talking Addie down, nor the best friend who's constantly hyping her up, but the best friend who hangs back like "I won't stop you but you should NOT"

Secretly Prim likes tending wounds

She has a makeshift vet office in the backyard

Bby Bilbo brings her his dragon (it's a lizard named Smaug)

(I suggested the lizard actually be a skink but the jury's still out on that one)

The Gamgees do not have pets, as a rule, but many animals and pet bugs are either smuggled or wander in

Rosie like "where's my best pot??" too bad now it's the home of Pippin's grasshopper

The Tooks, on the other hand, have lots of pets and very absurd ones too

Real conversation between Goldilocks and Rosie: "But Ma, why can't I play with the snake?" "Because it's poisonous. If it bites you, you will die." "But Faramir has a pet snake." "Faramir has a what now"

When they're older, Faramir and Goldie end up being that super weird couple with exotic pets and no kids for a very long time

"Ma when we get married we'll have snakes" "No Goldi" "Ma Faramir said so" "SAM call off the marriage" "They're seven, love—" "Call it off"

Mental Image: Estella is a fantastic baker. She's in the kitchen at Crickhollow or Brandyhall with a mess of little girls—her nieces and daughter(s)—all around her, talking and signing instructions, and no one is listening to her, and there's flour EVERYWHERE, and she's getting exasperated but simultaneously loving it

Elanor, being the oldest of a TON of younger cousins/relatives, is sort of the de facto leader on play dates

Get all the Gamgees, Brandybucks, Tooks, and Bolgers together, and Elanor can be seen holding a stick over her head like a general's baton and leading this veritable army of hobbit children down to the Party Field

Elanor was pretty uninterested in romance when she was young—too busy doing other things to get fussed about boys, and her standards were too high for most of them anyway—until one day she met Fastred and she came home and said, "Ma, I've found him", and whaddya know she had

(Still undecided whether they met because Elanor was in Greenholm for some reason or Fastred came to Hobbiton on business with his father, but either way Elanor and Fastred didn't meet until towards the end of their tweens)

When Sam tells stories he adjusts them for the ears of kids

Merry does not

Not even a little bit

(Unless Estella is nearby in which case he's gonna get an earful)

"Hey, kids, wanna hear about the time I killed a demon??"

Estella from the other room: "MERRY NO"

He's a bad judge of what's too scary for kids

He tells the story of their adventure with no filter at all

Sam tries to teach the kids lessons through the stories and that love conquers all

Pippin adds his own little bits and pieces every time he tells it until his version and the OG are nothing alike

At one point Legolas had wings (when Gandalf asked him to bring down the sun on Caradhras) and Gimli ate rocks

Gimli has actually eaten rocks

It was on a dare and he doesn't want anyone to know

Pippin had no idea; it was just a lucky guess

One time the kids asked Gimli if he actually ate rocks and he's just nervously sweating and wondering how the heck they know that

Pippin is shocked to find out he was actually right about this when he was just talking out his butt

(Legolas has also eaten rocks on a dare but we all knew that already)

The oldest kids get together sometimes—Elanor, Frodo, Boromir, and Faramir—to talk about their parents and try to understand what they went through

Faramir Took talks about how sometimes his father refuses that he get near any sort of fire

He'll be playing in his home by firelight while Pippin watches from the doorway, muttering to himself I'd never, I'd never, so fiercely that little Faramir looks up in innocent surprise and asks what he's talking about

And Pippin has to leave the room before he starts to cry

(Deep down, Pippin is sure Denethor loved his son too)

(And the Palantir haunts him to this day)

Boromir Brandybuck confesses that he's heard his dad cry out in his sleep some nights and he's scared to ask his parents about it

Boromir: "My father is a Knight of Rohan and Master of Buckland, a brave Traveller. He's never afraid." Elanor: "...He might be." Boromir: "No."

Merry's laughing in the face of fear mentality has an unintended effect on Boromir in particular. He wants to be his father; he wants to be fearless; Dad makes it look so easy!

Estella overhears once and has to explain the difference between fear and cowardice

The first time young Faramir goes to Gondor with this family, and poor little Goldi doesn't go, Rosie is struck with the sense of waiting her baby must be feeling

"He's my best friend ma" "I know, love" "It's far"

Rosie thinks, well, at least Goldi knows where he's going and when he's coming home again

When Theodoc's AccidentTM happened—the one that broke his feet and crippled him—the doctors were all telling Merry that Theodoc will live. All the pony did when it fell on him was crush his legs.

But Merry thinks they're lying. No, he is SURE that they are lying, because that's just how Theoden died. Crushed beneath his horse. They were both destined to die this way.

He cursed his son the moment he decided to honor the king who was like a father to him.

There he is, having a panic attack right there while the doctor is in with Theo, like "I killed him, I killed him, I killed my son—"

(And Pippin is the one who comforts him; Pippin, the one who has nightmares sometimes about burning with his Faramir)

The Travellers all talk about Gandalf differently

Sam waxes eloquent about his fireworks

That's all he talks about

Pippin laughingly and affectionately exaggerates how cranky Gandalf always was

"Once I rode on a horse with him" "Ooooooo"

"Didn't he call you a fool of a Took?" "NO that is what he called Merry but he is always caught up in his wizardry that he sometimes forgets that Merry unfortunately isn't a Took"

(Cue the distant, insulted Brandybuck noises)

Merry is the only reliable source of information, but only if you catch him in the right mood; otherwise he'll only mention the smoke rings Gandalf would blow

Merry has a killer Gandalf impression. Chomping on the pipe and everything

Bby Bilbo gets all his Gandalf info from Merry and Sam is Very Offended

(However, Sam owns Bilbo Sr.'s book, so that earns Bilbo Jr.'s trust back)

Frodo has had it up to HERE with fireworks, so he flees with his little brother to listen to Uncle Merry

They ask about Gandalf, and Uncle Merry goes "ah yes, brilliant fellow, a real grump. gorgeous fireworks—" and Frodo about tears his own hair out

(Merry is doing this on purpose. He knows how Sam gets about the darn fireworks.)

Frodo: "We have one last option. We have to go to Uncle Pippin."

Bilbo: "Do you trust everything he says? He once said that Mr. Legolas had wings."

Bilbo: "Mr. Legolas doesn't have wings."

Frodo: "How do you know that?"

Bilbo: "I don't want to talk about it"

(Legolas loves being called Mr. Legolas, but only by little hobbits)

And then there's the one about the lullaby Sam uses for his kids, but I'm saving that for a future fanfic ;-)

CURRENT ROLL CALL

Brandybuck Kids: Theodoc (Theo/Trotter), Periadoc (Perry), Eomer (Merry?), Juniper, Madoc, Boromir (Rory), Eowyn (Wyn)

Took Kids: Faramir (Ferry), Simbelmyne (Minnie), Beregond (Berry), Sable

Bolger Kids: Athelas (Addie), Azalea (Azzie), Heather

General credits to @invisiblewashboard, @writingvalkyrie, @grondds-and-roses, and the illustrious Meg, you absolute madlasses X'-D

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