#hope tomorrow I feel worlds better :))))

[mistress-light]

Not...feeling too well.

#i really don't wanna be negative on my blog this is supposed to be a blog for my fixactions and good vibes but like i feel so bloody down? #better days will come again #just one of these days #uuurrrr.............. #sorry to bother ya''ll #i'm just not feeling it i feel like my world is just crushing down on me #i need to process some stuff #and then get back on the train #need some distractions #i'm glad horizon releases this weekend #because i could really use it #mistress blabbling #negative #we all have one of those #maybe i am good again tomorrow i hope so

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Anyways, before I go to bed, a reminder for anyone who might be feeling down, or going through something tough. To anyone who hasn't heard it recently enough: You're Doing Great

Even if you're going through something right now, even if you're feeling distressed, upset, angry, or hopeless about it. That's okay, and you're not failing somehow, or taking away from other people by feeling whatever you might be feeling. Just feel what you need to feel, cry if you want to, take a nap, whatever it is you need.

Then, once you're ready, once you start to feel better, then you can try to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try and have fun, appreciate life and the world. Even if it's slow to get there. You're gonna do great, and it's okay if it's a bit messy and you keep falling down. Let downs and mistakes don't make you a bad person, they're just a part of existing. You'll get past this eventually, I believe in you

#I've been hanging out in my Instagram algorithm too long #and all the support and positivity from that has me full of love for the world right now #I just wanted ro try spreading it a bit further if I can #I love you!! you're doing great and I'm sure things will get better if you keep hanging in there!! #good luck!! #just me rambling #anyways. it is midnight now so I'll be heading to sleep now #I hope you feel better tomorrow I hope you have a better rest of your day

[local-redhead-bookworm]

Dream “Why would any sensible creature crave an eternity of this?” of the Endless vs Hob “Death is a mug’s game, I’ve got so much to live for!” Gadling is such a wild and interesting dynamic

#the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #Dream who has already been tired for so long #who has already shoved down his own personal needs so much that he doesn’t even think he has a story #who thinks that without his duties as an Endless he has no purpose #who thinks that his flaws are irreparable and the best thing he can do is take himself out of the equation #vs Hob #who has seen so much of the world and still chooses to see good #who always hopes for a brighter tomorrow #who has accepted that life has ups and downs #who knows he’s made mistakes but tries every day to be a better person #I don’t even necessarily mean this in a shippy way but dang I see the appeal #even at his lowest Hob refused to give up #while Dream has been tired and wrung out for centuries #agh feelings

[besnail]

ive been on my team for like 6 months now so i keep getting the task of explain things to people which 50% of the time i'm fine at and 50% of the time i'm completely incoherent at depending entirely on The Fog. i don't understand how i could even fix this i'm just either functional or i'm not

#genuinely the worst part of migraine is the aphasia. it's so annoying. it's soooo annoying #i honestly feel like every time i speak out loud in the world i am saying the first half of a sentence blindly hoping that #my brain can complete the thought #anyway i wish it felt like something i could get better at with practice or Something. #but actually it's just like Today I Will Sound Incompetent In Standup. tomorrow? a regular employee

[bluinary]

Whoa I'm really sad!!

#im really really sad :) help #my better coping mechanisms have been inaccessible (sex exercise and home cooked food) #im MEGA touch starved and my BPD is convincing me that my regular fwb is Done With Me #were more of a situationship that may be a dead end but we love each other type thing. idk #it was all peaches and cream until winter hit. it wad like this when we were dating too. he shut tf down. #he got super distant and i got super needy and we imploded. its happening again except we arent in an actual relationship #so im not saying anything and neither is he. and thats that. #im supposed to be moving out. lmfao. #the apartment complex is taking its sweet fucking time. #reviewing my application. I shouldve called them today im just sick of my calls going nowhere. #there is no serotonin in my brain. i feel like a loser and i dont like myself. #no one has checked in on me. i feel alone in the world. #i just hope i can go to sleep soon. buy some gifts. clean my room tomorrow.

[vekovoysoldat-moved]

I’ll try to get to all ims tomorrow! I’ve spent most of my day in bed xD

#and asleep actually #I’m hoping tomorrow I feel better physically #( ooc // boy meets world : sasha ) #cw sickness

[afieldinengland]

.

#spoke to my friend today and i feel a lot better. good god the world will never be ready for that woman she’s magic #i’ve never heard anyone more chipper in the face of a possible cancer diagnosis. i want to emphasise again of course that if it is cancer #it is the most incredibly treatable easy to deal with kind you could hope for. ‘a bit of chemo’ she said like she was describing a module or #a seasoning. she is so so endlessly brave my best friend #and she was much better at explaining it than my mother was. directly hearing from the person with the illness that a doctor has said You’re #Going To Be Fine will always be better than hearing from another person who is addled and crying. bless #no she’s going to be well she really is. eventually. her biopsy is actually happening tomorrow which is much faster than we could have even #hoped for. oh thank christ she’s going to be okay she’s tough as old boots. taking it with a smile really she’s incredible

[jewish-space-laser]

also not to be like, needy on the internet, but i’m having a hard night and i need to laugh so send me funny things. tik toks, jokes, i don’t care please please share and laugh with me

#i’m just… so worried about my brother. #he was diagnosed with ptsd a couple years ago after being traumatized by things he saw in a courtroom as a juror #and the subject of this trial is widely publicized and is all over the news periodically and probably always will be to some extent #and i know he has so much support and i know he wants to help. but he can’t find a therapist with his insurance right now #and him and i are the only ones in my whole family who use social media. which means that i feel like i need to always be watching the news #so i can warn his wife to keep him away from his phone or at least pass on the warning so he can mentally prepare #but it just isnt fair because he put his safety on the line to be a juror at this trial and he helped bring much needed justice #and i’m very proud of him for that. like beyond measure #but also… now i’m also always going to live with this… like. worry for him. and i know you worry about the people you love but #it’s just so overwhelming sometimes. and i wish the world was a better place #because then none of this would be happening. like this all because of an evil person who was protected by an evil system #anyway if you read all of that thanks i guess lol sorry i just super needed to vent that out #i don’t talk about it often for reasons i hope you can infer #remind me to call and schedule a therapy appointment tomorrow lol

[readymades2002]

briefly confided in my mother (mistake i never learn from) about how i am very sad that my ability to have a social life in the world is tied entirely to my sibling, who will be leaving here soon, and how i do not have any other way to get out of the house and how i do not feel i have anything besides work and despite everything that came after, including an apology for saying it, the first thing she said was “well i don’t have anything else either” which is exactly what prevented me from saying anything earlier because i knew that and i know that she is very good at going “it is what it is” about the most miserable of conditions and so would never admit to being unhappy about anything even though there is so much to be unhappy about including having to raise me to begin with, and that she also gets annoyed when others complain or are unhappy about anything because SHE does it and so why can’t everyone do it. and. well. i am pretty nervous about what this means for my life (nonexistent) going forward

#it is a cold thing to say but i feel like i have like. a month to befriend my sibling's friends that will be staying here #enough to want to spend time with me or else i am never going to get out of this fucking household #i dont have many coworkers my age and even fewer that i talk to because i dont like talking to people very much #which is also a massive problem because i want to but i am weird and shy and not always a fan of people and again very strange #but i can barely functionally navigate the world on my own to an upsetting degree. if i dont have someone with me i cant do it. #i am kind of freaked out about all of this. i have today off and work late tomorrow and i wanted to maybe go out tonight #but i. can't. because no one here wants to and im fucking scared to death of calling (and paying for) an uber #and then being out in the world on my own. so i just get to stay here. #not even mentioning i am fairly certain there is a new wave of That Virus going around so what would even happen if i did #which is also fuckinggggg miserable i am the ONLY PERSON who wears a mask to work besides the deli department #drops head in hands im never going to befriend anyone im never going to go anywhere again im never going to touch anyone #i do not want to say this because i am a very repressed person but i am never going to hook up with anyone which is disappointing frankly #i can BARELY text anyone and i am often in too much pain to even walk to the one thing i can do alone which is the library #like. oh my god! my life has no meaning. i trudge along thinking 'maybe it will get better' #and its not all been bad i DO have kind of an almost social life when my sibling takes me to do things with their friends #i got to play dee n dee yesterday and it was cool even though i panicked a few times under attention #ive been able to do things. i have some coworkers i like or at least talk to. im very competent and people like that though they know #nothing else about me besides that im good at my job. #but having those moments of like honest to god Hope makes it feel infinitely worse the rest of the time when im just #staring at the clouds and the clock and thinking oh my god it was all for this and it was not worth it #whatever. classic post of buzz. this doesnt matter and i dont know what the point in talking about it is but i dont have anything else #a job im good at and hate and a blog where i complain and a death wish and thats all. an unbearable early 20s myopia #this is stupid im going to do something else since ive upset myself. AGAIN

[highwaydiamonds]

ironic that for the first time in idk how many months i have some long desired for privacy - and yet after a day at work where my nerves got frazzled (not horribly so - just stressful and tiring) i find myself tired and a bit sad/lonely. brains are confusing.

#i'm not sure what it is entirely. i am glad to have some of the privacy - it's nice and quiet and no nagging or expectations #i appreciate all of those- i do #but today was stressful and part of me feels like i would have liked to talk to someone about it #i suppose i could have tried to reach out but also - i'm just tired from the day and wanted to relax #and some of the loneliness comes from someone i know kind of humblebragging about their bf's bd gifts coming up- what they're doing for him #and so i'm a little jelly - happy for them but also jelly and sad for me (i know - boohoo world's smallest violin etc) #but yes i know - i am allowed to have my feels and they are valid. annoying but valid #so i will hope tomorrow is better and brighter #and now i will be like a grandma and already go prep for bedtimez

[mondscheinprinzessin]

.

#just need to vent this feel free to ignore #my exam is on monday and while I did feel prepared just last week now I'm feeling so nauseous just thinking about it #that I want to ignore it away #I know the only solution is to keep studying but just looking at the papers makes me so anxious #god my therapist needs to give me the best peptalk of the world tomorrow so I can do this #I will not sleep at all on Sunday I know it #and I know this has been my biggest stress point the last few years #so just going to uni to write this exam would be a huge accomplishment for me but it's affecting me so badly #this morning I looked at my arm because I had the memory of hurting myself but there was nothing? and I stared at it- #-until I remembered I had just dreamed it last night #but it was so vivid and it happened exactly the same as I always did it in the past that it scared me so much #that my brain just wants that again ugh #so I have to tell that to my therapist too and it feels like such a step backwards and I don't want to try in ther office and-- #I need to scream into a pillow #*cry in her office #anyways #this day can only get better I hope

[saltinesinsoup]

ouhg ahg owie yeowch!! sinus pain

#jaytalking #jayventing #me when. i have sinus issues once again #need to. schedule an appointment with a specialist tbh #like. tested negative for covid the other day while still feeling like this. so unless it's a cold my sinuses are just fucked again #yayyyy i <3 having a headache for the whole day it's my favorite thing in the whole world i love being so tired i love when my face hurts #hoping i feel better tomorrow. if not i will be talking to my mom about it or smth bc i want to rip my face off just a bit #urghhhhh i just Want to feel normal i don't want to feel like Shit why does my body do this to me #AND LIKE. ITS JUST THE SINUS PRESSUREN HEADACHE #and also a sore throat #but genuinely ough. sinus pain has been like an on n off thing for me for some time now and i'm sick of it #i honestly can't remember the last time i felt genuinely healthy (though that might be the winter speaking. but i feel like the sinus stuff #has been fairly present. like minimal on some days but still there.) #i simply am. tired. of this shit. and i want to suck it out of face or like pop it like a pimple #idk man i'm just so done with it right now #(mainly because it got worse today again haha)

[morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy]

Ignore this, I'm just having a hard time

#trying to find the will to live in a world that is being murdered is exhausting #like yeah why should i get out of bed when nuclear war waivers in the wind? #why should i got to work when the human race will be on its way out in twenty years? #why should i brush my teeth when my illness could kill me tomorrow? #why should i focus on getting better when that's never going to happen? #god i hate it here #i hate it so much #i try so hard to keep my head up i try so hard to keep moving and i try so hard to just enjoy what time i have but what's the fucking? #what does any of this matter? #why did i fight so hard to keep myself alive to continue to suffer? #it's like i have one really awesome day and everything after that just works to pull me back down to this empty black pit #i get out i feel the sun on my skin and all of a sudden the hole i escaped is three times the size and its under my feet again #i don't know what I'm supposed to do i don't know where I'm supposed to go i don't know how I'm supposed to just live like this #it seems like I've been this way my whole life and what point is enough enough? #I'm so tired and I'm so broken #all i have is the hope that another day will come where i can feel sunshine again #until then.... i don't know #how are we supposed to live like this?

[impossible-rat-babies]

we finished the twinning last night and oof. Ooof ffxiv really can just hurt like that huh

#the people of the future putting the trust in those in the past #putting their trust in G’raha to see them to a new future even knowing theirs was doomed #and if that him and the warrior of light succeeded that they would be doomed #they would ceases to exist save for in the memories of G’raha #I! wanna! talk! about! G’raha! having! see! the! terrible! future! #he saw the world rip itself apart still ages and ages after the worst of the conflict was gone #it was still Terrible mind you but he saw the world at it’s utter worst #with no hope of someone like the warrior of light saving them bc even this conflict had claimed their life #but still! he worked with these people and hoped and prayed for a better tomorrow #worked to make a better tomorrow by saving those of the past #god the way he had to have stomached the grief and loss of the warrior of light and still carried on #even feeling as if this conflict was beyond him to save. that this was a job for one of his heroes of old #he carried on. he took the grief and turned it into a driving force to save the future #it’s so interesting to think of how the exarch grew from those roots #and the community he built makes sense in that #more than that he built an oasis for people he created this community #just….seeing how much the crystarium is a reflection and extension of G’raha as a person and as a leader is so narratively fun #and the symbolism and weight of that #something something about comparing that to Eulmore or even stretching that to thinking about amarout #Owen plays ffxiv #owen ffxiv spoilers

[seapasture]

.

#i'm so tired #everything is so dark at the moment #i'm tired of hoping for the next day to be better only for it to be unimaginably worse than the previous one #i don't think i can do it anymore #i'm sorry - when i made this blog i never wanted to vent like this but i have nothing else in this moment #if tomorrow is actually kind and gentle i will delete this but i don't know i think it will be worse again haha #i'm so sorry #sorry as well for just not being active at all - i just can't face it very well at the moment #i'm trying to be a pillar of support to those around me who are going through much worse but it feels like i am made of sand #and i am crumbling and nobody is noticing #i'm sorry #i keep trying to think things will get better but they just aren't - life is a cruel game and it has dealt my little world a losing hand

[solpng]

hey <3

#good evening <3 hope everyone's doing alright #my second shopping trip yesterday was also a bust and i came back w more shit i can't wear to the wedding 💀 #had to take a 19 hr nap after that i'm completely exhausted #today i got to take a rest but tomorrow after i pick my niece up from school i'm gonna have to venture out again for clothes #which is my last chance bc the wedding's on saturday :/ #i was thinking ab it and i haven't left the house this much in one week since like? i was in middle school?? 😭 #it's uh. a challenge. i'm doing better than i thought i would though #idk. it's stressful #and painful #my body isn't used to all this so when i return home from these trips i gotta go right to bed bc it literally hurts to move #i miss my routines ngl #i feel like my whole world's out of order rn and i can't keep up w all things i have to do and want to do #can't wait til all this wedding shit is over