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#anyway i wish it felt like something i could get better at with practice or Something.
besnail · 5 months
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ive been on my team for like 6 months now so i keep getting the task of explain things to people which 50% of the time i'm fine at and 50% of the time i'm completely incoherent at depending entirely on The Fog. i don't understand how i could even fix this i'm just either functional or i'm not
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flagsontheland · 7 months
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gracieheartspedro · 4 months
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More Than Friends
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how to help the Palestinian people
pairing: best friend!ellie williams x fem!reader (set in the jackson era)
description: you and ellie have been friends for awhile. while at a party for tommy’s birthday, you try to catch the attention of your crushes. sadly, they are all over each other. in a childish effort to get them to pay attention, you two try to make them jealous. 'cause that always ends the way you think, right?
word count: 3.3k words
warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, smut, wlw, f!receiving oral (reader), fingering, jealousy, semi-public sex, dirty talk, tons of nicknames, no mentions of reader's appearance. talks of sexuality, but it's vague. reader wants to fuck whoever, it doesn't matter lol. let me know if I missed anything!
author's note: I wrote this after watching one too many ellie edits on tik tok. it was written in two hours, so it's not my finest work but it scratched my little ellie itch. okay, much love xoxoxoxxo
“So… you really like Dina, huh?”
Her face twists immediately at the question. She throws herself back in the wooden chair, cursing under her breath. Her arms cross over her chest, her t-shirt riding up a bit above her jeans. 
You saw the way Ellie looked at Dina. She looks at her like she hung the moon. She was always fumbling over her words around her, nervous to say the wrong thing. When she did try to flirt, it came up awkward and strained. And you understood her predicament because you were the same way about Jesse. 
You both were pining after two people in a committed relationship.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” She mumbles, gesturing towards the center of the room where Dina and Jesse slow danced. He was leaning down to whisper something in her ear and it made your stomach flip. “She would never go for me.”
You felt bad for Ellie. She was everything you wished you were yourself; beautiful and funny. You felt like you were the only one, besides the Millers, who got her dry humor. You two had met in class about two years ago, now. You were a newcomer to Jackson, arriving about two months prior with your mom. When you got seated next to Ellie, you could tell her give-no-fucks attitude would mesh well with your give-too-many-fucks attitude. Over the years, you two had really rubbed off one another. You two were inseparable. 
“You’re the whole package, Els,” You say before nudging her shoulder with your elbow. You two are moping at a table near the exit of the food hall. It was Tommy’s birthday celebration, so everyone in Jackson got together to plan a big bash for him. Ellie felt obligated to come and your mom was pretty close to Maria. More time spent with your best friend wasn’t time wasted, so here you are. 
“At least she shows you the time of day,” You say under your breath. 
Jesse had been pretty flippant with you. He could never remember your name, let alone that you two shared the same street in Jackson. You also once shared a table at the mess hall. He was so tall and strong. Your crush on him was more physical than it was emotional. He was funny, sure, but you mainly just wanted to get him alone. 
“Why are we doing this to ourselves?” She ponders, finally looking away from the canoodling couple across the room, “We could do so much better!”
You know she’s just trying to convince herself of something she doesn’t really believe. The tone of her voice changes when she’s lying. 
“Like who? Slim pickin’s out here, Ellie. We have them and maybe 4 other undesirable people. There’s always the butcher’s son, he always had eyes for you.”
She grabs her cup from the table in front of you, “Yeah, men are… not my type.”
You turn your body so your legs are nudging her thighs, “Then, you really don’t have any choices.”
She nods her lips in a thin line. “I wish I could just.. Just go up there and talk to her. Ya know?”
“Why can’t you?”
“The same reason you can’t just go up and talk to Jesse.”
You roll your eyes, leaning forward on your knees. Your body is practically in her bubble, but she just sits back with her arm over the back of your chair.
You and Ellie had no real boundaries. You had no qualms about physical touch and Ellie never said anything or seemed to mind. You two have shared a horse countless times and even a bed. She never steered away from you.
“Well, Dina will talk to you if she sees other girls talking to you,” you state, reflecting on the last time everyone in Jackson got together. Some random girl came up to you two and as soon as Dina saw Ellie laughing with the other girl, she scrambled across the room to see what the fuss was about. You saw the same glint in her eyes that Ellie had. 
For some reason, it made you kind of jealous. 
You never tried to explore those knee-jerk emotions you had for Ellie. She was your best friend and you were positive she never felt romantic feelings towards you. Plus, you weren’t sure of your feelings about your sexuality. You always told Ellie you just liked who you liked, not really putting any importance on what was between their legs. You weren’t very experienced, but you had hooked up with both genders and liked it all equally.
“That was a coincidence, bug.”
That stupid nickname that she called you. Born from the one time you practically attracted every infected in the area with your scream over a huge beetle. She could not let it go and ended up calling you bug, just to annoy you. 
You finally look up at her freckled face, waiting for her to crack a smile. When you squint at her with contempt, she smirks. 
“Why don’t we find another girl and test the theory?”
She glances around the populated party, “Everyone here is over the age of 40.”
You turn back to the crowd of people around you and see that she’s right. 
You mull it over, your brain working to find a way that you both could get their attention. You two could simply say fuck it and go watch a movie and forget this stupid encounter happened. Joel would probably chew Ellie out, but when doesn’t he do that? 
Your next idea is something dangerous but something you had thought about before. You had never brought up the idea to Ellie because you were afraid of her reaction. 
“What’s your idea?”
She could read you like a book. You pursed your lips, wondering if you should even propose the idea to her. 
“How desperate are you?”
She laughs out loud, completely taken aback by the query. “Jesus, what are you thinkin’?”
You lick your lips, trying to make sure the idea comes out as a whisper.
“Why don’t we make them jealous? Just you and me?”
“How though?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, “Well, I’m a girl.”
You glance back at where Dina and Jesse were just dancing. They are both now facing you two’s direction, Jesse engrossed in a conversation with Tommy. Dina is just sipping from her glass, not really staring anywhere specific. 
You look back at Ellie who’s also looking at her, but meets your eyes when your face gets closer to hers. 
You would tell her how beautiful she was all the time and she just would roll her eyes and change the subject. You were physically attracted to her and there had been a couple of times you had thought about kissing her and wondered what her lips would feel like against yours. 
But she was your best friend. 
“Wrap your arm over my back,” You are still positioned, your elbows on your knees, your knees facing her thighs, “And rub it.”
She furrows her eyebrows, but she submits and brings the arm that is slouched over the chair to your lower back. You nod, watching as her lids lower. Her hand creeps up and down your side, her fingers grazing your ribs, up to your side boob. “Now what, bug?”
“Now, slowly move your hand up my back,” She does it as you’re speaking and the movement makes the hairs on your arms stand up, “Grab the nape of my neck.”
“Why are you making me do this?”
You lift up off your hands, bringing your face closer to hers. She doesn’t budge, sitting still and only focused on you and your words. 
“Because,” Her hand grabs the back of your neck, before slowly bringing it forward to collar bone. The gentleness of her touch and the fact that it’s your Ellie, makes every sense heightened. You don’t even realize how her touch is making you feel until you see her crack a smile. 
“Because why?” She whispers, her voice teasing. 
“Cause I want them to see you touch me.”
It comes out needy and desperate. Her eyes change when it slips from your lips, instead of being playful, she’s looking at you like you’re her next meal. She leans forward, her face millimeters from yours. 
You had never talked to Ellie like this but at this moment, you were completely transfixed on her. She was wearing a flannel over her shoulders covering her usual gray t-shirt. The sleeves were rolled up exposing the tattoo Cat did on her a year ago. 
You always thought it was hot, the way it trailed up her arm from her delicate wrist.
Her jeans are ripped and her legs and man-spreaded like she was carrying something in her jeans. 
And she smelled like pine. You loved it when you got the privilege to sleep next to her because her linens always smelled like her. You would love the idea of getting into bed with her right now.
“How do you want me to touch you?”
You chew the inside of your lip, “Any way you want to.”
She chuckles before brushing her hand down your exposed arm, “Is this for the bit or do you want me to genuinely touch you?”
You notice her being sincere. You think back to all the times you joked about sleeping with Ellie, and while at the time you chalked them up to being jokes, deep down, maybe it’s actually what you wanted. 
With the way she’s looking at you now, you prayed on every star that she would continue pushing your buttons. That somehow she would forget Dina even exists and realize it was you all along.
“Hey guys,” Her voice brings you out of your horny daze. It was the last voice you were expecting, and you can tell by the look on Ellie’s face, she is thinking the same thing. 
“Oh, hey Dina!” You quip up, not moving all the much to ensure she sees Ellie’s hand on your bicep. 
“You two busy?” The way she asks is almost too demanding. You glance back over at Ellie whose color is draining from her face. 
You shake your head, finally sitting up. Ellie’s hand doesn’t leave you though, instead, it just drops to your thigh. You try not to acknowledge it, as you notice Jesse coming up behind Dina. But now it feels so heavy against your legs, the weight of the situation finally hitting you. 
It worked. 
“We are just talking,” Ellie manages, her voice cracking. 
Jesse comes up behind Dina, wrapping his arms around her. You’re suddenly grateful that Ellie’s hand is still on you, the jitters hitting your system subsiding by the physical feeling of her being so near. 
“Looked like more than that,” Jesse jokes, his smile taking up a lot of his face, “You good Ellie?”
“Ellie was just telling me about the patrol she just went on with Jesse,” You explain quickly, making sure to look at Dina and not Jesse. “She told me about the infected y’all ran into!”
“Oh yeah, shit was crazy,” Jesse squeezes Dina tighter, “We gotta get back out there again, Ellie. You were a beast at taking those suckers down.”
“U-uh yeah, absolutely.”
You grab her hand as a reassurance. The exchange gets awkward quickly, none of you knowing what else to say. 
“Well, we should get goin’,” Dina says tapping Jesse’s arms, “See you two around?”
You two just nod. They walk away, not saying much of anything else. You stare at the wall, humiliated by the last 10 minutes of your life. You were unsure if you could even look Ellie in the eyes again. 
Ellie huffs loudly, sitting further back in her chair. “Well, that failed.”
You start to agree until that little bit of Ellie that’s rubbed off on you starts to come up your throat. The not-giving-much-of-a-fuck is creeping up on you. 
“Did it? Because I think it went exactly how I wanted it to.”
You finally return your eyes to her bewildered expression. You pull her hand off your lap as you stand up, yanking her up after you. 
“You wanted it to go like that? What was the point?”
You pull her closer to you before raising your lips up to her ear. Her hair is tucked behind the crest of her ear, so it tickles your nose a bit before you speak. 
She turned you on, so now you needed her to do something about it. Here’s to not giving a fuck. 
“The point was to get you to finally touch me.”
The temperature in the room rises a million degrees. Ellie’s eyes light up at the statement and you know that was exactly what she wanted to hear before Dina came up to you. 
You start to pull her towards the kitchen door, right near your table. You remember finding a hidden supply closet back there last Christmas party. Your skin was on fire as you dragged her through the appliances to the somewhat large closet. It was practically empty, void of anything anyone at the party may need, so it was safe. Plus it had a lock. 
As soon as the door shuts behind her, Ellie’s on you. Her lips hit yours and it was exactly how you imagined it. She was quick and eager with her kisses, her tongue plunging into your mouth immediately. She was grabbing your hips, pushing you towards the wall where all the brooms and mops were. You try not to trip, giggling as you pull her face closer to you. 
“So this is what you wanted?” She pulls away from you for a breath, “Using making Dina jealous as a ploy to get to finally kiss you?”
Your hands find the spot above the hem of her jeans, right under her t-shirt. Out of instinct, you start to unbutton her pants. 
“Actually, that wasn’t the plan.”
Her eyes are trained on your lips, “Is that so?”
“No, but you were playing the part way too well and I realized something.”
“What did you realize?”
The overhead light was so dim but you could still somehow see her cute freckles. 
“That I want you more than I want anyone else. I need you to touch me more often.”
She chuckles, her fingers still pressed into your hips, “Well, bug, I’m touching you just like you asked.”
She drags kisses up your jaw and neck. You try not to fall apart over that alone. Ellie always talked about how inexperienced she was, but she’s probably the most tentative kisser you have ever encountered. 
“Can you touch me here?”
You press your hands to the zip of your jeans. She looks down at your body to where you’re touching and she clicks her tongue. 
“Ask politely, baby, and I’ll do anything you want.”
The nickname change makes your heart stop. 
“Can you, my sweet best friend, touch me and get me off? Please?”
She groans at the question, a sound you never thought she’d make for you. 
“Of course,” She grabs the belt loops of your pants before yanking them down your legs without resistance, “What are friends for?”
You know you’re soaked by the way she smiles up at you. She gets down on her knees, looking up at you, as her hands slowly start to spread your legs. You are standing against a wall, watching your best friend’s face creep close to your center. 
It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. She pulls at your panties, toying with the fabric before you take matters into your own hands and pull them down your legs. 
She brings her lower lip between her teeth, “This wet for me?”
You could slap the stupid smirk off her face, but before you can even say something snarky back, she slips her digits between your glistening slit. Your body practically buckles at the prodding, so you brace yourself against the shelf next to you.
Your normal reaction to feeling good is to close your legs together tightly, but Ellie has her left hand mounted to your inner thigh, keeping you open for her, while the other one is slowly creeping up to your weeping hole. She’s gentle when she puts one finger inside you.
Once your body reacts around her, she pulls her finger out to inspect how wet you are. After she’s satisfied with her findings, she adds another which causes you to mewl at the sensation. 
“Ellie, please,” You beg, trying to get more friction. She’s not letting you do anything but watch. 
“Mmm,” She hums before moving her face closer to you, “Love to hear you moan my name, bug. You wanna be a good girl? Keep begging.”
You never took Ellie as someone who loves to hear her sexual partner beg, but it turns you on even more. 
You watch her close in on your clit, her tongue finding the bud and flicking it a couple of times. The moans that come out of your mouth are so deprived. Her fingers slip so seamlessly in and out of you, that you try to remember a time you were so wet. Nothing comes to mind because all your brain is thinking is Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. 
“Please, please,” you plead, trying your best to egg her on so she goes faster. It works because she picks up the pace fucking you. Her mouth suddenly closes around your clit, and she sucks. 
Your one hand is still gripping onto whatever is next to you, but your other hand has to rest somewhere. Her short brown locks are right there, so you grab on. 
Her mouth leaves your clit, and instead, her tongue licks up and down your weeping hole. When you bring her closer in, her nose starts to stimulate your sensitive bud. 
The sounds are so wet and depraved, you’re sure the bubbling in your stomach is about to come to a tipping point. You find yourself grinding forward, trying to get friction on your clit again. Her nose prods the spot over and over again as you grind down onto her face. 
Ellie hums as she fucks you, trying her best to push your limit. You know you’re close and you are sure she can feel how tight your pussy is gripping onto her fingers. She knows you’re close so she kicks it up a notch and shakes her head between your folds. That motion alone sends a tidal wave within you crashing to the shore. You pull her hair so hard, you know it probably hurts but fuck, you needed her to feel how good she was making you feel. 
The white-hot feeling starts to subside and you are panting like you just ran a mile. You finally release Ellie’s head, letting her come up for air. Her lips are saturated with your slick and it looks like she’s drunk on you by the way her eyes are half shut. She pulls her two fingers out of your tight hole, making you whine at the emptiness. 
She stands up, bringing her two fingers up to your lips. 
“Wanna see how good you taste?”
She’s so fucking dirty. It gets you so riled up. 
You grab onto her wrist and bring the fingers up to your mouth. You suck them dry, giving into how absurd this is. 
“You’re a freak, too,” She beams at you, before bringing you into another feverish kiss. You were so mesmerized by her. She grabs onto your hips, pulling your naked bottom half to her still-clothed legs. 
“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” You grumble, still recovering from the drilling you just had. Her hands travel up your sides, under your t-shirt. She is holding onto your ribcage, looking at your exposed tummy as the shirt rides up. 
“I didn’t think you’d go for me, especially when guys like Jesse are your type,” She explains, so enthralled by the way your body looks to her, “I don’t know if I can let him have you, now.”
You smirk, your hands twisting around her shoulders, “Oh, I see. Well, if he can’t have me, then Dina can’t have you.”
“Well, thank God they have each other, then.”
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barcaatthemoon · 27 days
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i like the way you kiss me || alexia putellas x reader ||
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alexia likes things the way they are, so you try your best to do so as well.
minors dni, 18+, smut warning
you swore that alexia was doing it all on purpose. there was never any time for you to get ready whenever she texted you that she was coming over. it wasn't like you were trying to turn your apartment into some intimate love nest, but you would have liked to have a bit more warning than what you were getting. it was almost like alexia was halfway through the parking lot when she finally decided to text you.
tonight was no different. you had just gotten back from a rather boring tinder date when she told you that she was on her way. less than five minutes later, and alexia was knocking on your front door. it was almost funny when you opened it up, alexia dressed up in a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants that did nothing but accentuate the dildo between her legs.
"what if i hadn't gotten back in yet?" you teased. alexia didn't say anything as she strolled right past you. you rolled your eyes as you shut the door and followed her back into your bedroom. these visits were getting quicker and quicker. it wasn't necessarily that it irked you, but you wished that alexia showed a bit more effort. however, you'd never be able to tell her that.
alexia always gave you exactly what you wanted whenever things came down to it. she kept you completely satisfied sexually. that was what this arrangement was, anyway. she wasn't there to hold your hand or kiss you in the early hours of the morning. alexia came over to fuck you, and unfortunately for your sanity, she did it perfectly.
"i saw the pictures of that guy, there's nothing he can do that i can't do better," alexia said smugly. you wanted to say something to knock her down a few pegs, but you couldn't. alexia had a point. there was nothing that a past partner had done for you that alexia hadn't done better already. you were fairly certain that there was absolutely nothing this woman couldn't do in the bedroom. she had turned you onto things that you had sworn up and down you'd never do.
you shut alexia up the only way that you could think to, by kissing her. alexia pushed forward abraisively as she backed you up until you hit the mattress. alexia broke the kiss to sit up and pull her tank top off, knowing that any protests you'd have would die right there. it was almost scary sometimes how easily alexia could just take control of you with the simplest of actions.
"that's a pretty dress. why don't you turn around for me?" alexia asked you. it was confusing sometimes how she'd ask you so sweetly to do something for her right after a show of force. you turned onto your stomach and let alexia lift your hips up into the air. you were used to being in this position, alexia loved to see you on your hands and knees.
she lifted the skirt of your dress up as she nudged your legs open. alexia licked her lips at the sight of your barely concealed pussy. she wasn't sure what she wanted to do first, so she practically dove in between your legs face first. alexia's tongue peeked out to taste you as her fingers pulled your underwear to the side.
"fuck, ale," you moaned. alexia only pushed further, this time dipping her tongue inside of you as far as she could get it. you could feel your legs shake a little as she wriggled her tongue inside of you.
"don't cum yet." alexia teased you. you could feel a bit of embarrassment at being called out, but it was quickly overshadowed by a wave of pleasure. alexia worked you up to the brink of an orgasm before she completely withdrew from you.
"alexia," you whined at the loss of contact. alexia smirked as she watched you try and push back against her only to find out that she had moved completely off of the bed. you tried to turn your body around to look at her, but that was when you felt her hands return to your body as she grabbed your hips to keep you in the position she wanted.
"no," she told you sternly. you swallowed at what you would have considered a very sexy version of her "captain" voice. it was very nearly the one that you were used to hearing on the pitch as she ordered you around, but this one had a bit of heaviness to it that came with alexia being aroused. "stay like this. if you move, i'll make sure that you don't cum for the rest of the night. i'll keep you right there on the edge until i'm done, understood?"
"yes, ale. i'm sorry." you ducked your head down in shame. alexia seemed satisfied with your apology and moved back onto the bed. this time, you could feel the head of her strap-on as it pressed against your entrance. alexia ran the tip through your folds a couple of times before she pushed it inside of you. "oh my god, alexia!"
"yeah, that's right. scream out my name while i fuck you. i don't want there to be any confusion for your neighbors. i'm the only one who fucks you this good," alexia said directly into your ear. she was leaning over your body as she said these things to you. alexia's hips moved slowly, never completely exiting you with any of her thrusts.
it wasn't until alexia was back to standing up straight that she finally pulled out completely. you were on the verge of whimpering for her to come back when you felt her slam her hips forward. she kept a strong grip on your hips as she thrust in and out of you repeatedly. each of her thrusts rocked you to your core, pushing moans and all sorts of absolutely filthy noises out of you.
"ale, can i cum? please, i want to cum," you begged. alexia didn't answer as she continued to thrust in and out of you. you tried to wait for her to give you some sort of answer, but it never came. instead, you lost your fight as waves of pleasure overcame your body. your legs gave out, but alexia didn't stop thrusting until you were practically crying for her to get off of you from the sensitivity. "are you leaving?"
"i'll see you at practice tomorrow, okay? maybe i'll come over after," alexia told you. you stared at her sadly as she grabbed her clothes to put back on. she was ready to head back out the door when she finally stopped and acknowledged you again. "don't get pouty, we'll have almost all afternoon tomorrow. you won't be able to sit when i'm done with you later."
that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but you couldn't ignore the excitement her words had coursing through your veins. alexia walked over and captured your lips in a kiss, the lingering taste of you still on her tongue. beneath that, however, was the absolutely addicting taste of alexia. that was what you wanted, to have her kissing you all night long, but like always, alexia dipped as soon as she could.
"get some sleep. i need you well rested for tomorrow," alexia told you. in some twisted way, you were pretty sure that she was trying to look out for you. however, you couldn't read into it too much or else you knew that you'd be sorely disappointed.
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lnfours · 6 months
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everything | l.n
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summary: he’s your best friend and you’re in love with him, but he’s not in love with you. or so you think, anyway.
warnings: fluff, a hint of angst, reader not knowing how love feels, kinda a situationship scenario but idk, also kind of hot trash?? - inspired by ceilings by lizzy mcalpine
masterlist | inbox | listen
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
he was finally home. after months of busy schedules and being away from home, he was back. and the first thing he did? he texted you. he texted you and asked if you were busy, like he always did every time he was back in london.
you had told him no, your plans had fallen through last minute and to be honest, you missed him. you missed his laugh, the way he hugged you, the jokes the two of you shared. he was your person and you were his, it was as simple as that.
and sure, maybe he was your person for another, completely different reason. but at the end of the day, to you, he was just lando. he wasn’t ‘lando norris, formula one driver for mclaren’. he was the boy you had known since you were a teenager, the boy you cheered for on the sidelines ever since he decided he wanted to work towards his dreams.
so the two of you had made plans to go out for a drive and catch up, the tradition you held every time he came back. you’d drive around, get some take out, and head back to your apartment for a few episodes of your favorite shows or a movie he’d seen and thought you would like. he had picked you up, the mclaren running on the side of the street as you climbed in, closing the door behind you.
you smiled, leaning into his touch when he leaned over and wrapped you into a side hug from the drivers side, “hey! missed you,”
you smiled back at the brunette, his green eyes meeting yours, “missed you, too, lan.”
his eyes scanned yours before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on your lips. a new tradition you two had picked up ever since that drunken night in singapore. you had went to the grand prix with max, showing support for your best friend, just like you always did. somehow, someway, the two of you had found yourselves stripping each other’s clothes off in his hotel room. nothing but the sounds of your quiet moans and his mumbled curses filling the room as you learned each other’s bodies.
and it had become a thing, every time he’d come home you’d both find yourselves in the same predicament: tangled in the sheets within the hour.
the whole ordeal was like a dream come true in the beginning, something you had been wishing for since the moment you realized that maybe you loved him more than in a platonical way. now, as you sat in the passenger seat of his car, legs tucked underneath you as the rain pattered against the roof, your food in your lap as you stared out to the city lights below you, you weren’t sure it was a good idea. you had seen the girls that practically throw himself at you, why would he choose you over them?
he noticed your silence, tilting his head towards you and placing a hand on your thigh, “you okay?”
you swallowed thickly, “mhm,”
he knew you better than that, though, “no you’re not.”
you sighed, how do you tell someone who’s not in love with you that you want something more, “‘m fine, really.”
you picked at your nails, ignoring the way your phone was buzzing against your leg. you had assumed it was your friend texting you, begging for updates between you and the boy you were sitting next to.
“you know you can tell me anything, right?”
not this. not now.
you nodded, “i know.”
he nodded back at you, “okay,”
you looked back out to the window next to you, watching the rain drip down the glass. you swallowed the lump in your throat, biting down on your lip as you felt the tears prick your eyes. you felt stupid, stupid to feel like there was ever a real chance. a real chance that he could ever love you the way you loved him.
you felt his eyes on you again, “y/n?”
you hummed, turning back to face him, which was a mistake. you felt like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.
“what’s wrong? seriously, i don’t know if i can handle the silence for much longer.”
you chuckled softly, shaking your head, “it’s nothing, really. promise,”
“stop lying to me,” he sighed, “c’mon, i’m your best friend. you can tell me anything.”
best friend.
you sniffled softly, which made his attention shift from your eyes to the small tear falling down your cheek in the dim lighting of the street light, “i just feel so… dumb.”
he raised an eyebrow, “why do you feel, dumb?”
he absentmindedly reached out and wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb. you let out a shaky breath, shaking your head and backing away from his touch.
he looked at you confused, a hint of hurt in his eyes as he watched you cry in front of him. he was wracking his brain, trying to figure out where he went wrong. trying to understand what you meant with your words, all while trying not to make himself feel like he was the reason for your tears.
you opened the car door, the rain smacking the pavement as you stepped out, “i can’t,”
he watched as you closed the car door, stepping out into the night sky and cold rain. he sat there for a second, his brain unable to catch up to what had just happened. his brain caught up, opening his own door as he chased after you into the freezing cold rain.
“y/n!”
you didn’t want to turn around, your tears mixing with the rain on your face. he was faster than you, though, grabbing your hand and holding you back from walking away from him. he spun you back to face him, your face glowing under the street light as he noticed how broken you look.
“what’s wrong!” he yelled over the pouring rain, “please, don’t shut me out!”
you let out a quiet sob, “i can’t do this right now, lando!”
he stood in front of you, frozen, as you repeated yourself, softer now, “i can’t keep doing this to myself.”
he shook his head, “what’re you talking about?!”
“just say it!” you shouted back, “just say you don’t really want me so i can move on and forget about it and we can go back like nothing ever happened!”
“what makes you think i want that?” he asked, “y/n, why do you think i come back to london instead of monaco whenever i have a break? because i want to see you!”
“not for the same reason i want to see you!”
“you don’t know that!”
you cried softly, turning away from him as he approached you again, taking your face into his hands. your eyes met yours as he spoke again, “y/n, i come back home to you because you’re all i think about when im not with you. every little thing i do, i think about you.”
you watched as his eyes scanned yours, begging for you to speak. he spoke first, though, “you’re all i think about, every night, every day. i should’ve told you how i felt sooner instead of dragging you on, but i’m falling in love with you.”
you shook your head, backing away from his touch again, “don’t,”
“don’t what?” he asked, “tell you i’m in love with you?”
“don’t say it if you don’t mean it. please, don’t say it just to make me feel better.”
“for one second can you just stand here and actually listen to me?” he sighed, “can you let yourself understand that there’s someone who actually loves you, standing right in front of you telling you. someone who’s ready to drop everything and show you.”
he reached for your hand and pulled you closer to him again, but this time you didn’t back away. he was so close to knocking down the final wall you had put up, so close to knocking down the walls you had put up as a sense of security. to keep yourself guarded, too scared to wear your heart on your sleeve once again.
but here he was, your best friend of all people, standing here in the pouring rain and giving you the fairytale moment you had always hoped for. the boy with curly brown hair and gorgeous green eyes was everything you could’ve ever wanted. everything you dreamed about, every future map you’d come up with in your journal, it always had him in it. one way or another, the two of you were meant to be.
two souls intertwined. that was you and him.
“lando-“
“i fucking love you,” he said, “so much that it physically hurts. like my chest gets all tight, and it feels like i can’t breathe-“
“lan-“
“and that night in singapore was when i realized you were the person i wanted to be with. not the models or the girls who throw themselves at me, i want to be with you. the one who knows my favorite flavor of ice cream, the one who knows all my greatest fears and all my secrets. the one who doesn’t judge me and i can talk to about anything. it’s you. it always has been, i’ve just been to blind to see it.”
the final wall came crashing down as you said his name, “lando,”
he hummed, his heart damn near flying out of his chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your face so close to his as you mumbled a soft, “kiss me.”
he didn’t give it a second thought, immediately pressing his lips to yours. you kissed him back, the rain long forgotten about as the water from his hair dripped onto your forehead. he put every ounce of longing, passion and love into the kiss, a kiss nothing like the ones you had both shared before.
he pulled away, his forehead against yours, “you don’t have to say it back, but now you know that i love you.”
you pulled him back to you by his jacket, “i love you.”
he smiled before his lips were pressed back against yours. and you stood there, kissing in the rain, and everything felt like a scene straight out of a movie. the feeling something new to you no longer felt scary, or intimidating. it felt safe and warm.
and it was all because of him.
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oracle-of-dream · 1 month
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Hiiii I really like your work and yes so anyway here goes nothing !
Could you maybe write a top!yeonjun x bttm male reader ?
Where the reader is the 6th member of txt and the plot is up to you (the reader does have a praise kink, tho ... but other than that, I will let you do as you wish ! )
Getting Close
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Minors DNI
Summary: You're the 6th member of TXT, a recent addition to the group, and you're having trouble getting comfortable with the members. As the oldest, Yeonjun takes on the job of caring for the newest member...
Warnings: Male Reader, Top!Yeonjun, Blowjobs, Deepthroat, Cum Drinking, Corruption Kink (lowkey)
Wordcount: 1.9k
The day wasn't too bad but you couldn't help but feel exhausted. It was a photoshoot, an interview, and then you had vocal lessons at the end of the day before being released back to the dorm. You did a lot of work with the other members one-on-one and it felt awkward working with them in less than a whole group setting...
At the photo shoot, you had to work with Taehyun. He was so professional and put together, you felt like a stick figure next to the Mona Lisa. You struggled through the shots with him, trying to lean toward him without being so stiff–but his face never gave away how he was feeling... You wondered if we were annoyed by you slowing him down. Then there was the radio interview with Beomgyu. His personality is something... different. You didn't know how to handle his energy or build off him well, so he spoke for most of the interview. The interviewer commented on your silence, asking if you were introverted. You just agreed with their guess so you'd have to speak less, saving yourself more embarrassment than you were already sitting through. You only remember saying "Hello" and "Goodbye".
Your manager had gotten onto you about trying harder to get progressively better with the group but the members were already so close to each other–there was no space for you...
Lastly, vocal lessons with Yeonjun.
You walked into the practice room, ten minutes early to warm up alone. The last thing you needed was to embarrass yourself in front of Yeonjun–Hybe's prodigy.
You wrapped up your vocal exercises just as the door opened. You stood up and bowed at the door, not looking at who walked in. "Hello," You muttered nervously.
"There's no need to bow, it's just me," Yeonjun said as he stepped into the room. He had a white jacket, a green tank top, and a white beanie. He smirked at you. "What are you being so cute for?"
You sat down, feeling your ears get warmer. "Sorry–I thought you were the instructor."
"I am your instructor today." Yeojun patted your head as he moved past you to the other seat. "The actual teacher couldn't make it so he told me what you'd been working on and asked me to help you."
"Like–together?"
"Yes, together! We're a team now." You'd always practiced alone with the teacher, even recording your debut–alone in the booth. You'd sang in front of fans and the members already, but only songs you'd spent hours and hours practicing. Yeonjun noticed you hesitating. "Are you nervous? I won't judge you, we're a team." Yeonjun emphasized the team by putting his hand on your thigh and shaking it.
"I know we're a team but–"
"No, buts! We're a team. Period. It takes time to adjust, but all the members are here for you–especially me."
You nodded silently. When you were still a trainee, you loved TXT and their songs were always the best to you. Even for monthly evaluation, you'd do a TXT song. Any time you'd hear they were in the building you'd silently hope you'd catch even a glimpse of them while they moved through their day. On the day you were told that you'd be joining TXT instead of debuting in a new group, your heart soared–not realizing it meant you'd have to be with your favorites all the time. The day you were moved into the dorm, the members looked surprised to see you. Apparently, they'd only been told you were coming earlier that day. It was probably unfair to them how they worked from the ground up and you were added in after they'd already poured so much work into their careers. It was tough not to feel like you were riding their coattails–even fans commented on how your spot was undeserved... But Yeonjun's eyes made you forget that horrible pit that had been sitting in your stomach.
You took a chance. After a deep breath, you asked, "How can I get closer to everyone?" Your eyes were wide with wonder.
Yeonjun smiled at you. "You're so cute... Maybe I don't want you to be close to everyone–why not just me?"
"Uhh–"
"I'm kidding, y/n. You should be close to all of us!" Yeonjun slipped his beanie off and shook out his hair. "We'll try taking it one step at a time. We can start getting closer and work together on getting the others in, okay?"
You knew Yeonjun was flirty on camera with the members, but you didn't know he was flirty off camera too. You couldn't tell if he was being serious or if it was just his personality... "Sure, that sounds good."
"That's great. And I've got a great way for us to get close fast." Yeonjun put his hand out to you. "If you want, then we can do it too. All the boys have done it to get closer to each other."
"Just tell me what I need to do." You took Yeonjun's hand. He immediately placed it on his crotch, pressing it against his half-hard cock. You took your hand back, eyes wide. "O-Oh I–"
Yeonjun gently leaned forward, sliding his hand over yours as he gently placed his lips on yours. "Easy. Take it slow," He instructed as he moved your hand again. Right back where he wanted it. His hips rolled into your hand, forcing his bulge to brush between your fingers as his hands cupped your face to hold you in the kiss. His plump lips tasted like strawberries, and his breath was cool and fresh with a hint of mint. When he pulled away, he looked you deep in your eyes. "Okay?"
You nodded. You didn't know what to do, but you knew that you didn't want to fight against it either.
"We're still in the building, so we don't need to get too involved today. Want my hands or my mouth?"
Your brain malfunctioned at his proposition, still trying to process the kiss.
"Cutie, stick with me. If you leave, how can I make you happy?"
"I don't know what to do..." You awkwardly cupped Yeonjun's bulge, feeling his pulse in your hands.
"Did you want to see mine first? That will make it easier." Yeonjun unbuttoned his pants and leaned back. "Go ahead, take them off. You've got me wherever you want me." Yeonjun's voice was a little deeper and softer, almost whispering. His eyes glazed over as he looked at you, waiting for you to do something. Following his lead, you tug at his pants–opening them enough to show his underwear. "Good boy, now the rest," Yeonjun cooed.
"Are you sure?" You asked for confirmation, but your eyes were still glued to his bulge. Yeonjun knew he had you.
"Only if you want it. I won't force you." Yeonjun started to zip his pants up when you stopped him.
"No! I–We should be closer because we're a team."
He nodded. "Now you're getting it, you're a part of my team. And everyone on the team does this. We can't date, and bringing people home is problematic, so we take care of each other's needs..." He stroked your ear. "Can you take care of me? Or do you need me to take care of you first?" He placed his hand on your knee, slowly sliding it up your thigh watching your expression for discomfort. You moved to the edge of your seat, matching Yeonjun, forcing his hand to touch you. "At the same time, then?"
You nodded as you slipped your hand into Yeonjun's underwear. He did the same, slender fingers dipping past your waistband. His cock's tip peaked out from his boxers and as you stroked him, it stretched further out until he slid his underwear down enough for all of him to stand proudly. Maybe you felt too shy, but you stopped Yeonjun from taking off your underwear.
"Okay, keep them on. I can still touch you like this..." While still stroking your cock, Yeonjun kissed you, squeezing your member every few moves to make you flinch.
You copied him, matching his pace and pattern.
"Oh, an observant boy? I expected you to be more playful like Beomgyu..." Yeonjun chuckled as he kissed your nose. "Can I have more, please?" He stood up, placing a hand on your shoulder to keep you seated. His cock, dripping with precum, pointed at you. "Can you suck it, please?" The way he said please make your cock twitch. He wasn't begging, it was more like a strong suggestion. He didn't want to force you to suck his dick, but he really wanted you to do it.
"I can," You said shyly as you leaned forward.
"Thank you, baby. Take your time with it, there's no rush." Yeonjun rubbed your head, letting his hand rest on you as you opened your mouth. You instinctually closed your eyes as you wrapped your lips around him. The feeling of his eyes watching you work was too much, you couldn't look back at him. Your tongue made the first move, swirling around the tip. Yeonjun's moans encouraged you, showing how he enjoyed it. You slowly sank deeper, using your hands to stroke the part that you couldn't cover. "Don't push yourself," Yeonjun moaned. You understood he was trying to be kind, but it made you want to push yourself hearing him be so patient for you. You bobbed your head, moving lower each time until the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat. "Jeez, you're so good. It's so deep in there..." His hand that was resting on your head mixed itself in your hair, making you more excited. You deepthroated him, gagging and gurgling on him, making so much noise. "Y/n, p-please, don't hurt yourself. I–fuck," Yeonjun tried to speak but you didn't give him any time to breathe.
You hollow your cheeks, taking him completely.
Yeonjun's eyes bulged as his knees buckled. "I'm cumming, m'cumming! Stop!" He tried to push you off him, even pulling your hair slightly, but you didn't budge as you held him inside your mouth. Yeonjun realized what you wanted and stopped pushing, instead pushing you down. "F-Fine, then drink it all if you want."
You felt his warm cum shooting straight down your throat, his cock pulsing and twitching as his hips rolled his pelvis into your face. Your nose scraped against his stomach a few times and your eyes rolled back–finally opening.
"Such a good boy, so good. The best!" Yeonjun moaned praises repeatedly until you slid him out of your mouth. His knees finally collapsed and dropped him back into his seat. He breathed heavily to catch his breath. "You didn't need to do so much... for me..."
You wiped a few tears out of your eyes. "I wanted to. I liked it. Hearing you tell me how good I did..."
"Oh?" Yeonjun smirked. "Then I'll tell you when you're doing a good job every time. And I'll make sure the others will too."
"The others?"
"Yeah. After today, they'll want to get close to you too..." Yeonjun kissed your cheek. "But remember who's your favorite. And don't forget I was your first in the group."
You nodded, a plush on your cheeks as you cleaned up your own mess. You hadn't even realized you'd stoked yourself to completion while sucking off your bandmate...
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hunterwritings · 7 months
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𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 | 𝐛𝐢-𝐡𝐚𝐧, 𝐤𝐮𝐚𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬, 𝐬𝐲𝐳𝐨𝐭𝐡
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summary: "Ayoo!! May I request for headcanons on the Lin Kuei Trio and Syzoth (need to give that lizard some love) on how they’d react to being jealous? Like their s/o is getting flirted on by someone stuff like that?" | requested here warnings: creepy men, mention of violence, blood, etc., suggestive, implied smut notes: why do i write better in the middle of the night | there might be spelling mistakes
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↳ 𝐁𝐢-𝐡𝐚𝐧
oh this man will get violent
out of the four, bi-han holds the most jealousy over his partner and can sometimes be possessive
he knows you can hold your own, your his partner after all, but every time he sees someone trying to take your as theirs, it sets off something in him
"You are one of the most beautiful warriors I've ever seen." The man pressed as he leaned over the table in the dining area of the temple. You just nodded as you tried to subtly tell this man off. Your eyes scanned the room to see if there was anyone too help you, then you noticed your husband staring from across the room, you cold practically feel icy blades digging into this man's head. He crossed his arms tightly as his gaze never left you.
You have taught Bi-han to try and not resort to violence where it is unnecessary, so in most situations, he will walk up to you and snake his arm around your waist as his eyes beam into the person in front of you.
Now, if someone had done anything to make you uncomfortable? Then blood is being drawn.
This man will beat down whoever dares to make his partner uncomfortable in anyway, not stopping until various bones are broken or until you command him
Whenever you two are out, he now will instinctively wrap his arm around you whenever he feels someone staring and will follow their gaze every second. He's not ashamed to stare, he thinks of it as a power move to make them uncomfortable. But if he had it his way, he'd beat down every person that tried to take you as their own until they are nothing but a pile of blood and guts.
You would reassure him that you were his as you kissed his neck and whispered in his ear. He would take the opportunity to fuck you any way you wished as you'd tell him that he was the only one for you.
↳ 𝐊𝐮𝐚𝐢 𝐋𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠
although he has his hot nature, Kuai Liang isn't as easy to be jealous
he is very secure and knows that you are bound to him when you agreed to spend the rest of your life with him
even though it can be rare, there are still moments when Kuai Liang can get jealous
If he happens to see someone spending a lot of time with you and become increasingly closer to you, he can feel that pit of jealousy build in his stomach. He knows it's wrong to feel this way and knows that you would never leave him, but he can't help himself.
His jealousy wouldn't be something he would express outwards unless he felt he had to to get someone away from you.
Kuai Liang's eyes pierced you as you spoke with another Lin Kuei member. He had gone on about fighting techniques and how he thought you were a great fighter and asked if you could teach him some moves, to which you politely declined. As you felt eyes on you, you turned your head to see Kuai Liang staring through your soul. As your eyes met his, he looked down and away, as if he had gotten caught. After the training regime, you confronted Kuai Liang as the two to you returned to your shared bedroom. "What was that?' You ask as you stand on the opposite side of the bed as him. "What was what?' He tries to seem clueless but can't help but avoid your glare. "Kuai Liang." You spoke his name and he knew well enough to look up at you, your arms crossed over your chest. "He's just very talkative with you, it's obvious to everyone else." He explains. "Is that jealousy?" You rhetorically ask as you walk over to him. "You have nothing to fear, my love. I have no interest in him." You speak as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. "I know." He says softly. You pressed your lips against his before pulling him back onto the bed. If he was so worried, then you were going to prove that you truly belonged to him.
↳ 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬
Tomas is also quick to be jealous, but unlike Bi-han, he will not address the situations through violence
Tomas has much faith in you and hates the fact that he has the thought of someone else making you more happy than him. When he sees another man making you laugh or impressed, it makes him feel bad about himself. He will go out of his way to do something impressive in front of both you and your admirer as a way of showing them that you liked him more.
You stood at the edge of the training arena as you watched your husband, Tomas, demonstrating his skills on a test dummy. Your smiled as you watched him hit and slice at the dummy, seeing all the younger initiates at your sides as they watched him.
"Any one of us could do something like that. Put me in there and I'll show you a real man." One of the other Lin Kuei members had leaned down and spoke to you with a large smile on his face. "Excuse me?" You say, a bit taken aback. "I just don't understand why this guy is praised for something everyone else can do." He adds. You turn to see Tomas glaring at the man next to you, he never heard him speak but somehow he was still fully understanding of what he was saying. Toomas grunts before turning back to the dummy and cutting it clean in half using his karambit. Then, he tightly grabs ahold of the dummy and turns to fling it in the air, launching it over 100 feet. As it flies through the air, Tomas grabs a large boulder and spins around to launch the boulder into the air, using both his strength and smoke to guide it to hit the dummy mid-air, smashing it to bits. The younger children around stared in awe as they talked amongst themselves. "I doubt it will be easy to do better than that." Tomas bites as he walks back over to you. The man scoffs before walking away. "That was quite a show." You smiled as he rested his hands on your hips. "It looked like he was getting top comfortable." He smirked before leaning in to press a sweet kiss to your lips.
↳ 𝐒𝐲𝐳𝐨𝐭𝐡
Syzoth isn't an inherently jealous person, but he can find himself being jealous and almost possessive of you at times
With everything he had lost from Shang Tsung, he is very protective of his partner and wouldn't let anyone get a chance to steal you from him.
If someone were to approach you and flirt with you, he would be open about his feelings. He would stand close to your side and let them know at the first given moment that the two of you are betrothed.
A man began to approach you as you were standing outside of Empress Sindel's castle, waiting to hear about certain arrangements. "Well look at you, just waiting to be swept off of your feet by someone like me." The man shot you a wanting smile as your face contorted in disgust. Before you could even protest, Syzoth was at your side, standing slightly in front of you. "They do not need anything like that, we are already happily vowed to each other." Syzoth explains, taking in pride in your relationship as he holds your waist tightly. "Exactly." You add on with a proud smile. The man rolls his eyes before grunting and waking away, Syzoth's eyes following him as he walked away. "I didn't know you were a jealous Zaterran" You smile as you held the side of his face, he brought his hand to lie over yours. "I will not lose what is mine." He shakes his head as he looks up to you with a smile before pressing his lips on yours, holding the crook of your back to pull you closer into him.
Sometimes, if people really get on his nerve, he will go into his Zaterran form to intimidate people.
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ginnsbaker · 2 months
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fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (8/?)
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Part summary: Leigh heads off to Palm Springs with Danny, while you grapple with what to do about your feelings for her.
Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader, temporary Leigh x Danny | Word count for this part: 5.000+ | Warnings : Slight angst | Author's Note: No, I did not forget about Danny still not being honest with Leigh and R not tattling on Danny. Just let these loose ends dangle for a while. Anyway, enjoy! :)
Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Next part
-
The morning after you gave Leigh a puppy for her birthday, your phone is flooded with texts from her, filled with questions ranging from vaccine schedules to the best chew toys. She shares a story about how Rogue, their previous dog, had always been Matt’s, and how she often felt left out of his care. Now, with Logan, she feels a full sense of ownership and is eager to get everything right.
You still flinch slightly whenever she mentions her late husband. It’s as if she forgets that you and Matt had something significant too, as if you weren't once the secret he kept close. Sometimes, you wish you could just erase his presence, simplify everything about your relationship with Leigh. 
But you recognize that it’s selfish to wish him away, because Matt was a significant part of Leigh’s life, a major influence on who she has become. And who she is today is a lovely person—someone you've come to admire very deeply.
[6:20 AM] Leigh: Logan’s an angel, slept through the night.
[6:35 AM] Leigh: So, house training... how do I make sure Logan doesn’t turn my bed into his personal bathroom like he did five seconds ago?
You grimace at the message, picturing the hassle of laundering the sheets and possibly needing to call a cleaning service for the mattress.
[6:54 AM] Leigh: And shots? Rogue was all up to date because Matt was on it, but I’m clueless. Where do I start?
As you work your espresso machine, a grin spreads across your face, the kind that makes you feel like a complete fool but in the best possible way.
[6:56 AM] You: Good morning! You’re lucky I don’t bill for text consultations 😆
You typically charge $18 for a twenty-minute chat with a client.
[6:58 AM] Leigh: Oh. How much do I owe you? I want to pay.
Your smile falters a little at her missing your joke.
[6:58 AM] You: I was just kidding. Your texts are more than welcome, Leigh.
Feeling bold, you follow that up with something you've been wanting to make clear since last night.
[6:59 AM] You: This is what friends are for, right?
Waiting for Leigh’s reply feels like an eternity, and you're about to send another text to walk back your hint at friendship when your phone vibrates.
[7:00 AM] Leigh: I’d feel better paying. Can I drop by the clinic later?
Reading her message, you're hit with a rush—excited at the thought of seeing her, yet downhearted she's talking about paying, as if that's what's between you. But then, those little typing dots appear. You're practically holding your breath.
[7:00 AM] Leigh: We’re friends, which is why I’m paying.
It's a good thing you don't have a roommate, or else you'd never get away with grinning like an idiot at your phone. It's a bit ridiculous, you think, how high school this all feels—waiting for a glimpse, a moment, anything.
[7:01 AM] You: Absolutely, come by anytime. Looking forward to it 🙂
You hit send and lean back, trying to act like you didn't just have a mini celebration over a text. 
And then, spurred by Leigh texting you first thing in the morning, you decide to add her on your social media accounts. You spend an extra fifteen minutes getting ready that morning, simply because you lingered longer in the shower, listening to songs that remind you of Leigh and how this crush is dangerously close to becoming something uncontainable.
-
[10:13 AM] Notification: Leigh accepted your friend request.
-
As it turns out, Leigh is a serial texter. 
It’s odd, really. For someone who might come across as reclusive and somewhat untouchable, she is surprisingly talkative over text. The messages start coming in more frequently after this morning's exchange, just moments after you've finally left home to drive to your clinic. What's even more interesting is that this time, they're not about Logan.
And they’re all unusually random and unrelated to one another: memes that make you laugh out loud, articles on topics ranging from the philosophical implications of artificial intelligence to the best way to juicing recipes. You find yourself waiting for these messages, eager to see what tangent Leigh's mind has wandered off to now. You get into it, dissecting the articles she sends over with the seriousness of a scholar. You type back your thoughts, trying to sound as insightful as possible, maybe even a bit witty, hoping to impress her. You imagine this might be her way of initiating deeper, intellectual conversations between you two.
So, when you send back a paragraph or two analyzing the latest article she's shared, maybe touching on its impacts on modern society or offering a counterpoint to the author's thesis, Leigh's responses aren’t what you expect. Instead of engaging with the discussion, she sends a  simple thumbs-up emoji or, even more baffling, a random factoid about her day, like her opinion on the Kani salad from a sushi bar near the Beautiful Beast gym.
[12:15 PM] Leigh: [sent a photo] Just some store-bought crab sticks and diluted mayo. Don’t try it. Their saké though is 👌👌👌
You wonder why she’s having Japanese rice wine this early in the day.
[12:22 PM] You: Thanks for the heads up. I know a place for authentic Japanese food. You want to check it out with me some time?
Your text remains unseen for the rest of the afternoon.
-
You find yourself staring intently at the wall clock in your clinic, keenly aware of each minute slipping by, and with it, the dwindling chance of Leigh arriving before the doors lock for the day. As it nears 8 in the evening, Suzie is already wrapped up in her end-of-day tasks across the lobby. Leaning your cheek on your palm, you watch blankly as she meticulously arranges her desk, perfectly aligning each item, then moves on to gently pull the blinds closed on each window.
Suzie’s not blind. She throws you these knowing glances every time you let out one of your heavy sighs. Finally, after you've probably sighed loud enough to be heard next door, she stops what she's doing and plants herself in front of you.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
You try to look puzzled. “Nothing. Why?”
Suzie rolls her eyes. “Please, you’ve been mooning over that clock and sighing like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. What’s up?”
You crack a smile, partly at her description, partly from being caught moping like a lovesick teenager. “It’s just… I thought maybe Leigh would come by. She said she would,” you say, wincing at yourself when the last part comes out a bit whiny. 
Without missing a beat, Suzie pivots from her closing duties and makes her way over to you. 
She’s not delicate with you this time. “You’re doing that thing again. Waiting around for something that’s probably not gonna happen. It’s not doing you any good.”
You know she's hitting the nail on the head, but it's tough to swallow.
Suzie continues, “You're young, you're attractive, and it's honestly weird that you're pining over your ex's ex. At first, I thought it was kind of adorable, in a bizarre, romantic-comedy kind of way. But now, it's like you're always hung up and disappointed.”
“Thanks for saying I’m young when I’m five years older than you,” you say with a sheepish smile, hiding your disappointment that she isn’t saying the things you want to hear, such as the possibility that Leigh just got busy.
Suzie shakes her head in disapproval. She's fed up, and her next words aren't going to be sugar-coated. “Snap out of it!” she barks, the command hitting you like a cold splash of water, and you jerk back in your chair, wide-eyed. Seeing you shrink back, quivering, she softens a bit and shifts back to the harmless receptionist you’re used to.
“Look at me, Y/N,” Suzie says, ensuring she has your full attention. You manage to meet her gaze, even though your eyelids feel heavy. “It's not fair to Leigh, either. You're giving meaning to everything she does—or doesn't do. It's putting her in an impossible situation. And honestly, it's not fair to you. You're missing out on your own life, waiting for someone who... well, who might never show up the way you want her to.”
Suzie knows she’s being tough, but sometimes love means being the friend who won’t let you settle for anything less than you deserve.
“I hear you, okay? It’s just… it’s the way I’m wired. I latch onto a person like a leech, refusing to let go until I see it through,” you mutter, shielding your face with your hands, a bit ashamed to even say it out loud. You get so tunnel-visioned, missing out on maybe better things and experiences because you're stuck on one track. You fall hard for your choices, never by chance.
“Good. You know what’s wrong with you,” Suzie says softly. 
You let out a weak chuckle, the sound tinged with a bit of self-mockery. You're half-hidden behind your hands, peeking out at Suzie as if she's got all the answers. Suzie pries your fingers away from your face and then pinches your cheek so hard, you start to whine a bit.
“Ow! What was that for?” you protest, rubbing your assaulted cheek.
“That's for being a pathetic little bitch.”
“Excuse me, I'm still the one signing your paychecks,” you shoot back, trying to sound offended but it’s hard to keep a straight face.
“Sure thing, boss,” she laughs, and you join in. 
“Okay, so what do you suggest I do then?” you ask as the last of your chuckles die down.
“Go on a date,” comes her swift response. “All that stuff they say about love finding you when you're not looking? Biggest lie ever.”
You look at her curiously, assessing her physical features. “W-With you?”
“Dude, no! Not with me!” Suzie exclaims, laughing nervously. “I mean, sure, I'd take you out if you weren't my boss, but I don't see that happening anytime soon unless you fire me.”
“Got it, got it,” you say, still chuckling. Suzie realizes too late that you were just teasing her and huffs. “Not with you. But seriously, go on a date? Just like that?”
“Yeah. Just meet someone.”
“You make it sound like it’s easy.”
“Because it is,” she says with a shrug. “Here. Give me your phone.”
-
Leigh doesn’t know what to do with the fact that you may or may not have feelings for her. 
So, she does what she does best: Pretend.
Leigh pretends you’re not EspressoEyes. In her mind, it could just be a coincidence, and you might not be the person who wrote to her advice column. Without any concrete evidence, she holds onto this notion, using it as a shield to fend off the uncertainties and doubts that would follow if she believed otherwise.
Leigh pretends because she needs your help to figure out how to care for Logan. Because maybe she wants to be friends. When you join her for a run, you don’t press for conversation, a rare companion who's not afraid of silence. Having you around feels like having Matt around, in a way that she's reminded of him when you talk about the same things you like, the same books you've read, and the same music you listen to. 
Leigh pretends it doesn’t bother her in case you are EspressoEyes. She’s no stranger to turning heads as she walks down the street, accustomed to the attention. There's a certain power in being desired, and Leigh revels in it. But the idea of you liking her doesn't quite make sense to her; it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It’s not because you’re a woman—she’s been with women before. What Leigh can't wrap her head around is that you, of all people, could actually be into her. After all, she hasn’t exactly been her most charming self since you two met. Even her best friend is keeping a cautious distance. She’s been wearing down the people closest to her, those who are supposed to like her the most.
And this bewilderment doesn't sit well with Leigh. She is someone who thrives on understanding, on knowing where she stands with people and why. So, when pretending isn’t enough, she does what she does second-best: Avoid.
She must have been waiting in her car outside your clinic for the better part of the evening, debating with herself about what to do next. She's parked just out of view, positioned so she can see the clinic entrance without being too conspicuous. She hasn't eaten dinner yet, her stomach growling, but she remains glued to her spot across from where she knows you're waiting for her.
Ever since you subtly asked her out through text, she’s been on edge, second-guessing her actions (texting and sharing posts on the internet with you all morning, what was she thinking?) and wondering what they might have meant to you. Leigh didn’t mean to leave you hanging—she did come to your clinic, sort of. She remembers typing out a response to you, something witty and non-committal, but her finger hovered over the ‘send’ button before pulling back. It felt like too much, too soon. She needed time to think, to figure out why the idea of checking out authentic Japanese food with you left her feeling so conflicted inside.
Leigh's guilt gnaws at her as she sits there, wrestling with how to extricate herself without causing further confusion—or worse, hurt. Eventually, it all comes to a head. She finally gives in, typing out a message to you on her phone with a shaky urgency.
[7:53 PM] Leigh: I'm so sorry, something came up. I can't make it to the clinic after all.
Your reply comes quickly, much to her astonishment, especially since she hadn't opened your message all afternoon.
[7:54 PM] You: It's fine, don't worry about it. I can have Logan's supplies delivered to your place if that works better for you.
Reading your text, Leigh bites her lip, another surge of guilt washing over her. Your kindness, your willingness to accommodate her, only complicates this predicament further.
[7:54 PM] Leigh: Yes, that would be great, thank you.
[7:54 PM] Leigh: How much do I owe you?
As she starts nibbling at her cuticle, Leigh is eager to resolve at least the financial aspect of her obligation. Though she knows she owes you so much more than just Logan’s supplies.
[7:56 PM] You: Like I said, it's on the house. But just this time ☺️
It’s still too generous. But Leigh knows better than to argue further, concerned that insisting might hurt your feelings.
[7:56 PM] Leigh: Thank you. I won’t forget this.
[7:57 PM] You: 😊😊😊
Leigh sighs, remembering her promise that you could visit Logan anytime. She hopes you won’t take her up on that offer too soon, at least not until she has a chance to sort herself out.
-
Danny isn’t too bad once you get to know him. That's what Leigh learns after more than two months of dating him. 
Initially, Leigh wasn't sure what to make of Danny. Their shared wit and sarcasm often put them at odds, like two alphas vying for the upper hand, each one not willing to back down, always aiming for the last word. Yet, in their calmer moments, when the competitive edge fades and they're just enjoying each other's company, Leigh finds something unexpectedly comforting about being with him. He has this confidence about himself that Matt never had, knowing exactly what he wants—and that's her. His straightforward approach makes everything about being with him feel predictable. And lately, she's starting to see predictability as a good thing, a sign of stability. This is a welcome change from the uncertainty that often left her anxious about the future. Plus, all these traits spill over into the bedroom, making the sex between them feel effortless and satisfying in a way she’s never experienced before.
Despite all this, there are days when Leigh finds herself merely tolerating Danny's affections. A part of her remains tightly locked, still bruised from losing Matt, and she's not sure if those doors should—or even can—open again. To compensate, she often says yes when she can, whenever her mood permits her to be giving and amenable.
And it is exactly why she says yes when Danny asks her to go to Palm Springs with him this weekend. 
-
The getaway feels like an extended lazy morning where the concept of time blurs into insignificance. They drift from one hotel restaurant to another, luxuriating in the art of doing absolutely nothing. This routine isn't new to them; it’s the same one they slip into whether they’re at Danny’s apartment or Leigh’s place—only now, the scenery is different, and the sheets they tangle in are expensively soft, boasting a thread count far beyond anything either of them owns at home. 
They're lounging by the pool, sipping Margaritas—Leigh with a book in hand and Danny absorbed in his phone—when your name comes up in conversation.
“So, how are things between you and Y/N?” Danny asks, not looking up from his phone.
Leigh stiffens slightly. She carefully moderates her tone, her face schooled into an expression of indifference as she marks her page and looks over at him. “What about me and Y/N?”
“I don't know... are you guys friends now?”
If Leigh weren’t so preoccupied with her own personal concerns about you, she might have recognized the underlying worry his question poses. What he's actually trying to figure out is whether you've come clean to Leigh about his role in Matt’s secret affair with you.
“Yeah, I guess we are,” she says. To say otherwise would be a lie, because you’ve been nothing but good to her. Danny seems satisfied with this answer, nodding before returning his attention to his phone.
“Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering,” he mumbles. He's back to mindless scrolling, but Leigh can sense the tension from two feet away. 
“No, tell me,” Leigh insists, placing her book on the side table between them with a definitive thud. Danny mirrors her actions, setting his phone face down and turning to her with a seriousness that clashes with their otherwise relaxed afternoon.
“I just don't get why you'd be friends with Matt's mistress,” he blurts out suddenly. 
Leigh is taken aback. They've never fully discussed what transpired between you and Matt, so she hadn't realized he was paying such close attention to her interactions with you. Believing that he wasn't privy to all the details, she quickly jumps to your defense.
“Y/N didn’t even know Matt was married to me,” she explains, trying to clarify the misunderstanding and protect your integrity.
“Yeah? And you just took her word for it?” Danny doesn’t bother to hide his skepticism, and it irks Leigh more than usual. She doesn't understand why every conversation with Danny has to turn into a challenge or an argument.
“There’s no evidence to suggest otherwise,” Leigh replies, her voice tightening as she struggles to keep her frustration in check. “I mean, I even went through your phone to see what Matt had been saying to you, and there was nothing there indicating that Y/N knew he was married.”
Danny feels a lump form in his throat. Fortunately for him, Matt hadn't mentioned anything in their texts about Danny being Nick either. He has been debating whether to disclose his role in everything to Leigh. But things between them have gotten serious, and Danny's not so sure he should come clean. Part of him wants to delay—perhaps until they are married with kids, when he's more certain that Leigh won't leave him over a past mistake.
“Look, I'm not saying don’t trust her, but... she used to be in love with Matt, right? You don't think there's a chance she resents you even a little?” 
Leigh stops for a second, Danny's words prompting her to consider aspects she hadn't really thought about before. Wrapped up in her own insecurities, jealousy, and pain when she discovered the truth about you, she had never stopped to consider your perspective—how you might have felt learning that the man you had feelings for was married. Did you feel just as fooled and stung as she did? The thought bounces around her head for a moment. From what she can recall, nothing in your behavior has ever suggested that you're a bitter ex. But then, what if you're just exceptionally good at masking your feelings?
Do you really like her, or is it all an act—a scheme?
But then, she remembers the night you gave her Logan, how your smile was nothing but warm, your eyes bright with something that, looking back, Leigh realizes might have been admiration. Not even Danny looks at her like that, whose gaze is always bridling yearning and a desire to possess. Leigh shakes her head, almost laughing at the thought of Danny being right about you.
“Danny, honestly,” Leigh finally says, trying to put an end to the discussion, “if what you're saying is true, I can handle it myself.” It seems the quickest way to close this topic, knowing that debating it could easily consume their entire afternoon and completely derail the purpose of their vacation.
“But doesn't it hurt, having her around? Like a reminder that Matt went for someone else?” He's playing on a different fear now, not questioning your integrity, but poking at the scars Leigh's tried so hard to heal. 
Leigh wants to admit the pain never went away. She’s merely learned to co-exist with it. It's like the weather for her: on some days, her mind is a landscape of clear skies, but when the storm hits, it's relentless. For now, she chooses to keep this pain private, unwilling to give anyone the leverage to use it against her or even attempt to fix her. It's her burden to bear, and hers alone.
“No,” Leigh answers, reaching for her book again. “I don’t see it that way anymore.”
Leigh ends her nearly year-long social media hiatus by posting a series of photos from her Palm Springs vacation with Danny. Sharing such personal moments publicly is uncharacteristic for her, especially given her minimal online presence over the past months. Maybe it felt like sending a message to everyone that she’s doing okay. That they can go back to seeing her as just Leigh again—a single, actively dating woman in her early thirties—not as the young widow she was in her late twenties.
Danny's friends are the first to swarm the comments. They tag Danny, peppering the feed with teasing remarks, their comments ranging from jokes about the desert heat to compliments on the couple's sun-drenched physique. It's all typical, light-hearted friend banter, until one comment sharply disrupts the mood: 
“Yo, isn't that your brother's wife?”
Leigh deletes the comment within seconds of seeing it.
A few hours later, you ‘like’ her post. Leigh's eyes fix unblinkingly on the notification. She's been idly wondering if you'd seen the post, and now, you’ve confirmed it yourself. But what does that ‘like’ mean?
Is it a nod of approval, a silent indication that you're happy for her? Regardless of what it means, Leigh discovers she was sending another message—one that’s exclusively for you. It tells you that whether you're EspressoEyes, whether you harbor any feelings for her or not, it no longer matters.
She's with Danny now.
-
Returning from Palm Springs, Leigh feels different—like she’s turned a corner or something. She feels refreshed, and she wants to take on something, such as Drew’s grievances about her advice column. She picks one to start with, something about anniversary ideas, and she's got the perfect story for this.
It was one of those anniversaries with Matt, the kind that stands out from the rest of his surprises because it's so quintessentially him—albeit a little nerdy. He took her away from the city's glare to a secluded spot where the sky was a blanket of stars, untainted by artificial light. After laying out a rug for them to both settle on, he began the painstaking process of setting up a rather complex telescope. It took him nearly an hour, but the wait just made the moment even more special. With the telescope finally ready, Matt pulled out this old, crinkly constellation map and started hunting for one specific star. It was one of the last times Leigh remembered them being truly happy—deeply in love, free from the shadows of Matt’s depression, Leigh’s instinct to fix things, and the small lies that slowly eroded their relationship.
When he finally located it, he excitedly guided her to peer through the telescope. There it is—a tiny speck of light, but it's theirs. Matt turned to her with a bashful smile and revealed that he had 'bought' that star for her.
Leigh shares this story with her reader, emphasizing that it's about understanding what truly moves your partner. For her, it was that star—simple, unexpected, and insanely romantic. She tells her reader to find that one-of-a-kind thing, that personal touch that says “I love you” in a way that can only come from them. Just like Matt did with a star and a starry night.
It's only after she closes her laptop that Leigh realizes tears have been streaming down her face.
-
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
It takes a moment to recognize who you've just bumped into. This encounter isn't as jarring as the last; it’s merely a brush of shoulders as you both maneuver to avoid incoming traffic. That ‘incoming traffic’ turns out to be none other than Leigh Shaw.
She's beaming up at you, and it looks genuine despite the sparse interactions since she last canceled on you. You’re still catching your breath, your heart racing from the speed of your run and something else entirely.
“At least I didn’t make you crash on the pavement this time. I'd say that’s significant progress,” you quip, drawing a soft laugh from Leigh. Last week, you made the firm decision to compartmentalize your feelings for Leigh, resolving to see her strictly as a friend. Yet, when faced with reality, such resolutions seem trivial, particularly when that reality includes Leigh smiling at you with her effortlessly charming grin—a smile that, despite your best efforts, still sends a familiar flutter through your stomach and makes your knees feel like they're made of something much less solid than bone.
“Speaking of progress, Logan’s due for his vaccines this week, right?” You remember the schedule clearly, not just because you’re good with dates, but because Logan has become somewhat of a shared responsibility between the two of you—or at least that’s how you still see it.
“Oh, right. I promise I'll swing by. No bailing this time,” she says, chuckling, but there’s a serious undertone that tells you she’s committed to making good on her word this time.
“You better not,” you tease, “Can’t have Logan missing his shots. He’s still very young, and it’s critical we build up his protection against—”
“I won’t, Doctor,” Leigh cuts in, giving you a playful salute that makes you blush. “So, where are you off to after this? I was actually about to grab some donuts for breakfast—”
Leigh pauses mid-sentence as a woman appears at your side. She’s stunning—slightly taller than Leigh, clad in a sports bra and tight yoga pants, with sneakers on her feet. An absolute goddess; even Leigh can’t resist a quick, appreciative glance.
“Who's this?” the woman asks with a British accent, adding the perfect touch to her 5-foot-7 frame.
“This is Leigh,” you introduce quickly, noting the surprise in Leigh's expression. “Leigh, this is Sara.”
“Lovely to meet you,” Sara says warmly, extending her hand. Leigh shakes it, though her movements are somewhat mechanical. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh?” Leigh’s smile is strained. “Nice to meet you, too.”
You quickly steer the topic back to Leigh's breakfast plan, asking where the donut place is. “It's just down that street,” Leigh points vaguely, but then stops short. Almost as an afterthought, she adds, “Actually, I just remembered I've got to pick up something from the laundromat.”
You frown, thrown by her sudden change of tune. “Are you sure? We could grab a bite after the run.”
“No, really, I should get going. Maybe next time!” Leigh replies hastily, already stepping back, her exit swift and decisive. As she hurries away, you're left there, watching her leave, trying to figure out what flipped her mood from happy to wanting to escape so quickly.
“Shall we?” Sara nudges you gently, already jogging in place. 
You give Sara a nod, but as you start running, you can't help but sneak one last look back. Leigh is quick to put distance between herself and the park. With a sigh, you turn your full attention back to Sara, who’s already picking up the pace, chatting about a new trail she wants to try next weekend.
“Let's go,” you mutter, mostly to yourself, as you push your legs to match her pace.
Meanwhile, Leigh walks briskly to a different restaurant, forsaking her initial craving for donuts. She can’t quite explain why she fabricated an errand; all she knows is that she needed to get away from you and Sara. Earlier, she couldn't help but notice how close Sara was standing to you, assessing you with a look that seemed a bit too interested. Leigh keeps turning over Sara's words in her mind, puzzling over what she meant by saying she'd heard a lot about her from you.
Why were you talking about her with Sara? Who exactly is Sara to you? Just a friend, or something more?
And what Leigh finds even more perplexing is why she's so troubled by needing to know the answers.
358 notes · View notes
mvltisstuff · 8 months
Note
HI!! i was wondering if you could do a buck fic to where they’re working at the 118 and he just randomly starts getting really needy - like arms wrapped around reader’s shoulders and walking (waddling rlly..) while still holding onto them. then like a cute little cuddle session at home where he talks abt how he wants to marry reader and just talks about the future.
THANK YOU!!!!!!
clean - e.b
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summary: request
evan buckley x reader
gif from @housewifebuck
a/n: guys!!! i love this i can’t wait for a new buck in s7 :)) anyway, 1989 TV SO SOON GUYS WTF, it feels like yesterday was red tv 😧
the lightning had taken care of the other fires in buck. he was different, and he couldn’t tell if he hated it or loved it at first.
the man he was was reckless and like a shiny new toy for someone to play with. he allowed people to string him along and pull at his arms until he did what they wanted. it almost felt like his purpose, to be a prop for everyone else.
he thought y/n would leave him soon after the strike. everyone else liked to do the same thing. his parents giving up on him after his youthful mistakes, abby fleeing because he wasn’t enough for her, aly fearing her future with him. he thought y/n would crack under the pressure of almost losing someone like buck, now he hates himself for second guessing her.
he started to appreciate the smallest things in his girlfriend. the softness of her words, the light reflection of sun in her eyes, the cotton-like skin on her hands as they grazed over it. he almost didn’t want to face her after the accident, but she was clutching onto his hand when he woke up. and, there hasn’t been a day where she hasn’t reminded him that she’s going nowhere.
she knew bucks scars as she watched them all get handed to him. she knew how silently fragile he was. he could see it clearly in her as well, noticing each fear of hers and the love she’s pushed away. it was foreign to both of them, the tenderness of each other.
it’s been years since they began dating, and somehow every day is brand new with them. y/n doesn’t ever believe that buck has something to make up. but, he thinks so. he’s been spending years begging for love, and now he has it. now, he wants to show the world what he has after it tried to strip him of everything.
it doesn’t matter how long a shift was, when buck was back to work, every free moment was spent on her heels. he used to go through work, only looking around to see who maybe looked at him. now, he looks forward to see his girl waiting for him wherever he may be.
today was no different, y/n was stocking the engine full of brand new supplies from the new shipment. the trucks glazed red popped out from her perfect polishing on the sides.
“this truck looks almost as good as you,” buck whispers, placing his hand on the side of her waist, making her jump in place.
“and what are you supposed to be doing right now?” she teases back.
“taking it easy, like you and bobby told me!”
“so you come and flirt with your already girlfriend? professional hours baby, remember?”
“those are boring, though. i just want to take you home and never leave.” he sighs, placing his chin on her head.
“just a few more hours, i believe in you!” she encourages, making him smirk and land his lips on her cheek, running away like a little kid.
y/n stood with buck at the island of the kitchen, smelling over bobby’s new dishes that he had prepared for the team. he made several things for a feast amongst everyone, getting a well deserved break.
she could practically feel buck breathing on her neck as he peered over her shoulder. normally, someone doing that would be insufferable, but buck makes it seem normal. it makes her smile, knowing how close he always wishes to be.
“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you were conjoined twins.” chimney takes a turn at his own joke, trying not to laugh at himself. he gets a smile from y/n, but the fakest look you ever did see from buck.
“i’m gonna slap you and i hope it shocks you.” buck snaps back, half joking but also half annoyed as well. chimney takes his plate and scurries away.
buck makes two plates as y/n grabs them drinks from the fridge, moving over to place it in the seat next to her. before she can even think about sitting, buck slightly runs into her with his hip. he places the plates down perfectly on the mats before pulling her chair out. she gazes at him, noticing the cheesy grin on his lips. the team stops to notice his abruptness on pulling out her chair, and kissing her head as she sits.
as the dinner closes, and the sun dips lower, the calls come in slower. luckily, the shift is just ending, so it’s just buck and y/n left in the kitchen as she scrubs away at a bowl. he sneaks up behind her, grabbing a dish to dry from her.
“hi, honey,” he says, looking down at her.
“hi, buck,” she smiles back, noticing the excitement on his face just getting to be near her. “do you wanna talk?”
“about what?”
“i just want to make sure you’re okay, baby,” her kindness and concern comes through her angelic voice, buck almost getting distracted by the sound of her.
“i’m fine!” he replies. “just been thinkin’”
“we can talk about it if you’d like.”
“maybe later, i just can’t wait for us to go home together.” he dries the plate as y/n scoops them all up, buck wrapping his arms around her waist and tucking his face into her neck. he locks his fingers together and rests them on her belly. she just giggles, waddling over to the cabinet where she slides the dishes in. it would’ve been easier if she wasn’t like a tree to a sloth, but easier isn’t always for the best.
the car ride home in his truck was nothing less than romantic. his hand was rested on her thighs the whole time if it wasn’t on the gear shift or the wheel. she practically had to keep touching him somehow to make him keep his eyes on the road.
when the duo finally arrived at home, she looked over at buck and could tell how sleepy he was. his eyes told her everything, and she can read him like a book now that she’s admired him for so long. “hey, go shower and come back down here.”
buck agrees, taking a quick shower and changing into some more comfortable clothes. when he walks back down the stairs, he can smell the sweetener of his favorite tea wafting through the living room, as y/n sits down in her soft sweater and places the mugs on the couch. they’re matching LAFD mugs that y/n’s parents bought for them. she turned on reruns of new girl as she moved to grab a blanket from the basket, leaning against the arm of the couch.
“come on,” she sweetly curls his lips up at him, signaling for him to come lay with her. he happily obliges, going to sit between her legs on his side, the side of his face buried into y/n’s warm chest.
the tightness of her arms wrapped around him eases any weight of the day or stress on his body. he lets himself relax in her hold, knowing she’ll keep him safe from whatever might come his way next.
one of her arms is rubbing his back as the other cups his face as he appears to be intently watching the show, but he’s not.
he thinks of small y/n and buck mixes running around a small house in los angeles, the sun shining through the curtains early in the morning. he thinks of the smell of ice cream and the reflection of the moon on the windows as they get ready for bed. he thinks of a warm vacation with a shining rock on her ring finger.
“i can’t wait to see you in a big, white dress,” he mumbles into her shirt, smiling just at the thought of seeing her on a carpet, walking down an isle to greet him.
“what is going on in that mind of yours?” she teases, brushing her fingers through his hair.
“i just- i don’t want anyone else but you,” he begins. “you could’ve ran. you could’ve left me in the dark, but you didn’t. you’re the only person who hasn’t done that to me. i trust you, and i know you won’t. it’s my turn to show you that i’m here to stay, and that we’re forever.”
“listen,” she starts next, the clear adoration in her eyes. “i would lay on this couch, all day, every day, if it meant you’d come back to me. id do anything, and literally anything, to spend the rest of my life with you. im sorry for every other woman who can’t be with a man like you.”
he doesn’t know how to compete with sentences like that. it feels brand new, even though she tells him all the time. it feels different after the lightning strike. someone above tried so hard to ruin the best things he had going on, but he pulled through. he wants to think he’s strong on his own, but buck knows he wouldn’t be here if y/n wasn’t next to him. if she hasn’t picked up the pieces that everyone left behind, if she hadn’t taken the time to put him back together.
now, buck barely thinks of all the shit that’s happened to him. how could he, when the future is definite right in front of him? he used to just assume his life would be the same forever, but y/n’s flashlight guided him out of the cave he was in. he sleeps in her arms without a fear that she’ll disappear from him, and without a fear that things are out for him.
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doctorwhoimagines · 5 months
Text
Don't Mention It
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The Doctor discovers that the two of you have a shared hobby
Twelve x gn!reader
Warnings: None
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You realized it probably wasn't the best idea to touch The Doctor's guitar, but when you got ready for the day and entered the empty console room to find it sitting there unattended, you couldn't resist. After all, sometimes it was simply better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Surely he wouldn't be too upset if he found out, and if he was, you could handle him.
After turning the amp down a bit, you sat on the steps, holding the guitar as you settled into place. Without having to think much about it, you began to play Purple Haze. You were a little out of practice, but it felt nice to strum out a tune.
Before you could move onto another song, you jumped at the sound of The Doctor's voice. "What are you doing?"
When you looked up, his piercing blue eyes and very serious brows were focused right on you. You hadn't even heard him get close.
"Playing guitar. Well, your guitar." You slipped the strap off of your body and handed the instrument to him. "Sorry."
"You never told me you could play." He'd actually been quite surprised at the fact that your playing sounded pleasant, as opposed to the nails on a chalkboard he'd heard when Clara once picked up his guitar.
"I'm sure I have. You probably weren't listening."
"I'm always listening," he said, sounding almost offended.
"You're joking, right?" You stood up from the stairs with a sigh. "Anyway...yes, I play. I just haven't had much time between travelling with you and working whenever I'm back at home. When I hear you playing, it really makes me miss it."
How The Doctor hadn't put the pieces together long ago, he didn't know. When you stopped everything and watched him play, he'd always assumed you were just impressed by his great skills. And maybe it was a little bit of that, but it seemed there had been some longing, too. You were enjoying the music and wishing you could be playing yourself.
The Doctor looked down at the guitar he still held in his hands, and you were caught off guard when he offered it back to you. "I'd better not find even a scratch on it. If I do, I'm dropping you off at home."
You knew he wouldn't do such a thing, but you still intended to respect his request, gingerly taking it from him and putting the strap back over your head.
As The Doctor turned to the console, you sat down once again and played the first thing that came to mind.
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It had been a few days since your last trip with The Doctor when he finally showed up again. You weren't sure how long it had been for him—you never were—but he didn't seem any different.
He played his guitar as he pondered something you couldn't even begin to guess, filling the TARDIS with what you recognized as I Will Dare by The Replacements. An odd choice, you thought, yet that didn't stop you from listening intently.
The Doctor abruptly stopped the tune to put the instrument down, and he was gone from the console room before you could say anything. You sighed in disappointment. You quite liked that song after all.
You continued where he'd left off, humming and tapping your fingers against your thigh.
Moments later, The Doctor came back, holding a guitar case in his hand. You frowned at the sight, because even though he probably had several scattered around the TARDIS, he seemed to prefer the Yamaha that still sat in the console room.
It was even more puzzling when he gave you the case.
"Did you...buy me a guitar?"
"No, no. I didn't buy it. I don't buy things." The Doctor walked over to the console, pretending to look at something on the screen and at least attempting to be out of hugging distance. "A friend gave it to me in the 1960's, and it's been sitting around here ever since."
"1960's?" Very carefully, you placed the case on the floor, opening it to find a beautiful vintage Stratocaster. One very much like Jimi Hendrix used to play. Knowing the man who had given it to you, it was the genuine article.
Without noticing the way he'd been watching you, you closed the case back up and practically ran to The Doctor, throwing yourself at him in a hug. The impact and the way you pushed him into the console knocked some of the wind out of him. "Why does there always have to be hugging?!" He struggled to exclaim as you squeezed him tightly.
"I really can't help it right now." You kissed his cheek and gave him one more squeeze before mercifully letting him go. "Thank you, Doctor. Seriously."
"Don't mention it. Really. I only wanted to stop you playing mine so much."
"That won't be a problem. Believe me."
Returning to the case like a giddy little kid, you took the guitar out and hooked it up to the amp. You missed the small smile on his face as you began to play a song for him.
The Doctor didn't plan to tell you that he had only acquired the guitar after your previous trip.
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evansonlylove · 2 months
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okay then, well i like your kai fict and i think that you prolly wanna make some more. how about kai x reader where the reader want to be a dom so bad —doing a cowgirl or whatsoever, but kai enjoy slash jokingly or mock the reader about no matter how hard she tried she can never be the dom, so kai show her that he will always in charge. but anyway no pressure at all, free to ignore this if you dont want to okay? <3
i’m so sorry this took so long, i haven’t been doing the best and i wanted this to be good! i hope you enjoy it and get to see this. And thank you so much for sending this request in, i seriously appreciate you sending it in. REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!
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don’t test me
Kai anderson x Female reader
summary: while out with your friends one night you hear about their sex lives, although what you heard shocked you. Kai had always been the “one in charge” and you liked it that way but something in you wanted to try and dominate him. (reader is a sub at first, tries to dom and kai puts her in her place) caring kai at the end
warnings: 18+, smut, degrading, slapping, aggressiveness, choking, p n v, no condom, spit kink, kai’s fixation on being your God. all that kai toxicity and smuttyness
bold letters are kai’s speach.
“Hi baby” you hear his deep beautiful voice come out of your phone as you put it up to your ear. Even while out with your friends you missed him, how could you not?
“Hi kai! can you hear me good?” slowly slipping away from the crowd in the bar you trip on your heels, you tried to act as a sober as possible so he wouldn’t know you drank a little too much.
“Yeah, yeah i can. did you see the time yet?” he says with a demanding voice, shit. it was past 10 and you hadn’t even noticed. You look back at your friends waving their hands at you to come back.
“oh, the time? i mean it’s still kinda early and i don’t go out often. Do you think i can stay a bit longer?” you put your finger up to your lips and bite your nail nervously, but it was true. You were a good girl, always obeying his rules and staying true to him and only him.
“hm. Okay fine but not to long, i’ll be waiting for you so no funny business” finally hearing him agree you smile, after all he was your ruler, him saying yes to you felt like a reward. Quickly you reply
“thank you thank you! i’ll be good i promise” As much of a tough guy as he was, you knew how to get into his heart. Your cuteness and even fake innocence always found your way into that man’s love.
“You better be. i’ll see you in a little okay princess?”
“mhm!” you reply instantly and hang up, practically running up to your friends who had a drink waiting for you
“I don’t get why you have to explain yourself to him y/n” one of your friends say as you sit down. Soon they all tag along in teasing you about your relationship “Like yea he’s hot but don’t you even just want to be the dominant one? not have to say where you are and do whatever you want?”
Their words take a while to sink in, you had honestly never thought about your relationship being opposite or different in any way. You loved being his little lamb and good girl, being owned and loved even if it was in his twisted way.
“I don’t know.. i like it the way we are. Plus i could never dominate a man like him.” you say as you sip your drink and start thinking about it, what it would be like to ruin him if you could. Ruin him the way he does you… maybe make him beg. Snapping out of it you finish your drink in one gulp
“I’d give it a try if i were you, i didn’t know i had half the kinks i do now till i tried it. but, Kai is definitely more possessive and all that crazy shit than all out boyfriends combined so it’s up to you girl.” she laughs as you shrug your shoulders and feel your phone vibrate. You read a message from who other than Kai ‘it’s been 30 mins y/n don’t push your limits’
“you know what? i’m gonna do it. it shouldn’t be so hard to dominate a man” you stand up and take a shot glass filled with tequila and down it all. “Wish me luck” you hug them goodbye and walk out the bar feeling like you were invincible. Obviously at the time you didn’t know it was the drinks talking.
‘calm down, i’ll be there in a few.’ you reply as you start your walk, luckily you only loved about 5 minutes away from the apartment. Playing music loud out of your phone, you loved this feeling and you had almost forgotten what it was like to have fun. But like clockwork there’s another message from Kai within seconds
‘just get home you brat’ you read, he wasn’t as mad at you thought he’d be. Brat was like a cute nickname he gave you sometimes, And finally you’re downstairs without even noticing. You take a deep breath as you open the door to your apartment, you see your boyfriend sitting on the couch watching TV. You always knew he was hot but seeing him after the talk with your friends at the bar made you see how bad you wanted to own him. Putting down you bag and walking towards him you straddle him on the couch and push him back.
“I take you by how you look, you drank a lot?” you put your hand on his chin and roll your eyes
“yeah? what about it?” you say as you kiss him roughly, moving your fingers through his hair. If there was one thing you knew about yourself getting drunk is that you get confident and horny. You start grinding against his cock, you smile into the kiss as you felt him get hard in his jeans. You didn’t even feel his hand make his way to your neck slightly choking you.
“And what makes you think it’s okay to talk to me like that-“
“shut up and let me fuck you for once” you cut him off as you slip your dress off through your arms, revealing your lacy red bra to him. You could see the anger displayed on his face but honestly you didn’t care, it only turned you on more. He starts to sit up but you push him back again, you knew he could break you in half if he wanted to so the fact that he was holding back from taking control meant you could do more. You reach down and undo his pants fast before he could even react. or do you thought
“Maybe you let the alcohol get to your head a little you much you fucking brat. You don’t fuck me, I fuck you” he grabs you by your waist lifting you up slightly as he slid your panties to the side. “Dont worry little lamb, i’ll show you who fucks who” he whispered into your ear and ran his fingers down your lips. In that moment you melted instantly, you took his cock out his boxers as you saw his eyes tell you to.
“Aw you’re backing down so fast? even more pathetic than i thought” he said before you could even gather words to say he jerked his hips up finally putting his cock inside your wet pussy causing a moan to leave your lips. One of his hands make his way to your back and take your bra off in a quick motion. After a few jerks up into you he stops
“didnt you want to fuck me? go on, try” your pussy was left throbbing, you knew you could never make yourself feel as good as he did but there you went being his obedient little slut and started riding him. Your thighs shook as you slid up and down his hard cock, you could barley keep the same rhythm.
“I can’t do it kai..” you let out a desperate moan, feeling pathetic.
“Oh you poor girl, it doesn’t feel as good does it?” he placed both his hands on your face caressing you softly before he slapped you across your left cheek, and holding onto your chin after. “look at me and beg me to fuck you, admit you were wrong. You could NEVER dominate me, deep down you know you love being my personal little toy.”
“you’re right, i cant and will never be able to do it like you. You own me and i fucking love it” you bite your lip slowly and place your hands on his shoulders
“Yeah that’s right you fucking slut” His hips jerked up to yours once again fucking you restlessly, your moans filling the room as you leaned your head down on his neck, moaning into his ear. “you love getting fucked till you can’t take it.. you.. love getting ruined by your God” he whispered between thrusts, driving you crazy.
“Oh my god yes kai, i fucking love it, i love you” you whimpered out as your legs began shaking again and your core tightening, your pussy throbbing around his cock. “fuck please let me cum please kai” his hands reached down to your ass, gripping you tight, holding you up so he could fuck you even deeper than you thought was possible.
“yeah you love it, i love you more my little slut but you can’t cum just yet” his free hand runs down to your clit as he rubs small circles around it just perfectly to overstimulate you. Your breathing gets heavy as you feel his cock throb inside you. “this perfect little cunt is all mine, you cum once i tell you do okay?” he whispers and kisses down your neck, his thrust getting harder and moans leaving his lips and into your ears.
“Fucking cum for me now” you felt your body give out as those words left his mouth, leaning completely on him as his arms go around you holding you close as he filled you up with his cum. “This cunt was made to take my fucking loads, oh fuck you feel so perfect when you cum around my cock” you feel his cum dripping out with your juices as he stayed inside you
“kai.. oh fuck you have no idea how much i love being yours. i love it when you mark my pussy with your cum” you whisper as he holds you in his arms, still not pulling out.
“I had to remind you who’s in charge, if i have to slut you out to show you that then i’ll do it a million times till it gets burned into your pretty little head.” he lifted your head up from the crook of his neck and kissed you roughly “And as cute as it was to see you try to even dominate me, don’t ever try that shit again. don’t test me.” his hand wrapped around your neck as he awaited your response “you got it?”
“yes divine ruler i promise” you said as his placed around kiss on your lips and lifted you off his cock with a groan going into your ear. you tried to stand up but with the alcohol in your system and your legs not working properly as your boyfriend had just fucked you like no other.
“come on baby i got you” he carry’s you in his strong arms, you let out a smile as he takes you to the bathroom. “let’s get you washed up, and get us ready for bed” you felt your heart melt, everyone knew kai as a mean stone cold person but with you he was different, you loved these loving moments you got with him. As he got you in the bath you tried to think of what you’d tell your friends tomorrow but quickly get distracted as he gets into the tub with you. his beauty always hit you as if it was your first time seeing him. “you’re so fucking beautiful you know that baby?” he says catching you off guard as you didn’t notice him looking at you the way you were at him.
“youre a different kind of beauty kai. one i could never be” this relationship was all you both could ever want it to be, you could see it in his eyes and he could see it in yours.
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once again ty so much for this request, if anyone else wants to send more in i appreciate it so much! i hope this was good. - rain♥️
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cuubism · 2 months
Text
some canon-verse trans Hob for the lovely @five-and-dimes who recently got top surgery! 🥳🥰 congratulations, I'm truly so happy for you, my friend. please accept this humble offering
--
“So, it actually started on a dare,” Hob says, on the day he tells Dream the story of him. Or of this part of him, anyway.
Normally, Hob gets a bit guarded the first time he tells someone he’s trans. It’s hard to predict with absolute certainty how people will react, especially ones he’s just become romantically involved with. He’s had it go poorly, to say the least, in the past.
He doesn’t feel that way with Dream. It’s not because there’s so much trust between them—they’re still new, after all. No, it’s something about Dream himself. For all his prickly and standoffish nature, being close to him feels like sinking into a warm lake, into a dark sleep where secrets and hidden wishes float up like glowing reeds to the surface. Deep, personal feelings feel safe with Dream; he cradles them in his hands and soothes them. Or that’s how it feels, when Hob is touching him.
Personification of dreams, indeed.
“A dare?” Dream echoes.
“Sort of," Hob says. "Got frustrated with people saying women should or shouldn’t do this or that or the other thing, so I decided if they felt so strongly about it I’d just be a man. Moved somewhere no one knew me, dressed differently, got stronger, practiced the sword—and that was that. No one seemed to care much, once you were at war. So long as you could swing a sword and not get yourself killed.”
“A choice, then,” Dream says. He’s listening very intently, hands folded on his knees, untouched tea on the coffee table before him.
“At first. Was only after I’d been living that way for a few decades—before and after we met—that I realized while there might be a handful of women out there living as men for the freedom of it, that they didn’t all like it. Given the choice they’d rather just be women in a more equal world. You know?”
Dream hums in understanding.
“But I didn’t want to go back,” Hob continues. “I felt like... who I'd become was the truth of me all along.”
“Identity, while not wholly immutable, is resilient against adversity and circumstance,” says Dream. “You found what your heart wanted you to be, if in a circuitous manner.”
“You seem very unbothered by it,” Hob observes, sipping his tea.
Dream frowns. “Why would I be bothered by it?”
“Dunno.” Apparently he can’t fully shake that this’ll put a wedge in us feeling. “People sometimes are. Feel deceived, or something like that. So they say.”
“If they are deceived, it is by their own assumptions,” Dream says, with disdain. “You should be as you dream yourself, Hob. No more nor less. Put aside these petty physical trappings.”
“I do actually have to live in these ‘physical trappings’ even if you don’t, you silly thing.” He can’t help laughing. “Besides, I rather like being some kind of living creature in the world, rather than what? A ghost? Best I can do is make this body as close to how it should be as possible.”
Hob’s come to like his body, for the most part, in the form that he’s made it. He didn’t always. But he needs a body of some kind to be alive, and he likes being alive. So what he couldn’t change, he made peace with.
Besides, they have hormone treatments nowadays. Brilliant stuff. Makes it so much better.
“Anyway, now you know. I wanted you to. Since we’re together.” It’s still a marvel. Together.
“Thank you,” says Dream, with evident sincerity. “It is a privilege to be gifted your secrets.”
“Not really a secret, but I get what you mean.” He takes Dream’s hand, just to touch him, and admits, “Telling it to you is like… I don’t know. Feels like when I was younger and first admitted out loud, ‘I’m a man. I want to stay like this.’”
It hasn’t been a proper secret in a very long time. But giving it to Dream is like the freedom of releasing a held breath, even so.
“I am the harbor and cradle of dreams,” Dream says in reply. He traces his fingers over Hob’s. Does Dream’s strange form just spring from the ether? Hob wonders. Or does he have to choose it? The way Hob chose his? “Dreams of being and becoming… these are most precious for they grow from tough soil. I can only protect them, I cannot create them. You must do that. And I expect that were I to find you in the Dreaming, there would be a fantastic garden there, indeed.”
Dream himself is the most fantastical thing. “Well, darling, just know your work is appreciated.”
Dream’s lips tip up in a tiny smile. When he meets Hob’s gaze again, his eyes have gone dark and starry. He folds Hob into a hug, and—
oh, it’s like being hugged by the universe itself.
Hob feels the light breeze of a warm dark night, when he’d lain by the dying fire in a war camp in the French countryside, and looked up at a million stars and first whispered to himself what if this is really who I am? Dream is that breeze and those stars. The dying embers that had lit him as he’d run his hands over his body and felt it differently than he ever had before, and been terrified because what would it mean?—but also thrilled and alive. Dream is the night wrapping around him in that moment, the night that was listening to his dreams no matter how quietly he admitted them, Dream is that and more and the voice in his heart telling him it would be okay.
A younger, more uncertain Hob would have needed this. Hob now is older, and he already knows who he is and what he wants, but he falls into Dream’s embrace all the same. A tear slips from his eye, and Dream kisses his cheek, wiping the tear away with his tongue before leaning their heads together.
“I could craft you any body you wanted in the Dreaming,” he says lowly. “However I think the one you have made with your own hands is more remarkable.”
Oh, God, he’s going to tear up again. “Dream, you are the most beautiful, wonderful thing.”
Dream hums in pleasure at the words, and lets Hob hold him close, lets him cradle his head to his chest, a dream kept close to his heart. One that he knew as soon as he saw it walk into the White Horse. Sooner even than he truly knew himself.
Then Dream looks up at him with a hopeful expression. “With these truths revealed, are we able to be intimate?”
Hob laughs so hard he has to tip his head back against the couch. “Wow. One track mind with you, isn’t it? I spill my heart and that’s what I get?”
Dream grumbles, tucking his face in against Hob’s neck to press his lips to Hob’s throat. “I find myself impatient of late.”
“Knew all along you were only with me for my body.” He’s grinning, though. Can’t stop.
“Well. Considering it is such a lovely one.” He plucks at Hob’s shirt buttons. Lecherous little nightmare.
It feels fucking good, though, to be desired.
“C’mere, then,” he says, and drags Dream into his lap.
Dream settles there with a purr, starts playing with Hob’s hair, but says, “I would not truly derail this moment, nor distract from your feelings if you do not wish it.”
“Oh, I wish it. You’ve no idea how much I want you right now. You’re like a prize.” He cradles Dream’s beloved face between his hands. “Stick around for long enough and you’ll get the most incredible Dream at the end of it.”
“Or at the beginning,” Dream says, and Hob’s heart swells so much to hear him voice that that he has to kiss him.
When he does, Dream makes a low, pleased sound, settling deeper in his lap. Yes, this moment, this life, is certainly the prize for all of those years hanging onto those dreams:
the dream of his lover
and the one of himself.
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sdr2lovemail · 11 months
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Can you do a Sanemi x F reader where the reader gets hurt badly on a mission and passes out Infront of the butterfly estate and Sanemi encounters them on his way out from the butterfly mansion to a Mission. I think Sanemi would be angry and worried at first but slowly calm down once they get better. Happy ending? Anyways thank you if you do happen to do this!! <3
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Emotional scars (GN Reader)
Synopsis: Finding you wounded and unconscious in front of the butterfly mansion, Sanemi blows up at you.
Note: Eeee, I gotta practice the comfort part of hurt/comfort. It's more of a bittersweet ending than a happy one. Pronouns or gendered terms don't come up in this.
Requests are open!
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Using your sword as a makeshift crutch, you hobble through the forest. Not bothering to wait for the kakushi to arrive, you were sure you could make it to the butterfly mansion. The mission was grueling. It seemed that the demon had never-ending stamina. It even managed to get a good slash on your side. You tied your haori to try and staunch the wound. Though, there was still the feeling of the warm, sticky blood dripping down.
Breaking through the woods, the gates of the butterfly mansion are in view. With dizzy, uncoordinated steps, you get closer to getting some rest. Your head felt foggy. You weren’t sure which way you were walking anymore. 
When did you collapse? Your cheek is against the cool stones of the courtyard. It felt strangely comfortable. You’ll rest your eyes, only for a moment. Your body goes limp as you drift off into unconsciousness.
Inside the butterfly mansion, a stubborn wind hashira stomps along. “For the last time, Kocho, I’m not spending the night here. I’m fine.” 
“You have three broken ribs, Shinazugawa. I wouldn’t call that fine. You should stay here through the night and let us look after you.” Shinobu followed Sanemi, her usual smile gracing her lips. “We wouldn’t want your injury to get any worse.”
He stopped before the door and turned to face her; he could feel himself getting stressed. Tired after an extended mission, he wished to go home and sleep, not stick around Shinobu’s estate. “I’m not some low-ranking slayer. It’s not like I’ll curl up and die because of some broken ribs. I’m leaving.”
As Sanemi opened the door and walked into the courtyard, he realized he almost stepped on something. With his brain foggy with sleep, and the dark blanket of the night, it took him a moment to see what it was. His eyes widened. “What the hell?!”
Your head ached when you came to. The wooden ceiling of the butterfly mansion greets you. Slowly, sitting up and looking around the room; no one was occupying the other beds. Your body burned and ached at the slightest movement.  For a moment, you thought you were completely alone. That was until you could hear a familiar snore.
Resting on a chair next to the bed was Sanemi. He had his head resting on his arms against the bed. Contrasting his permanent scowl when he was awake, he looked so peaceful. The crease in his brow was gone, and his shoulders were relaxed. It was nice to see him like this. 
Gently, you set a hand atop his unruly hair. His eyes shot open the second your palm met his scalp. Wide, bloodshot eyes flicked up to meet yours. Sanemi practically leapt out of the chair. It was silent; the only noise was birds chirping outside. His expression was unreadable as his stare bore into you.
With a weak smile, you break the deafening silence. “Nemi, I’m so happy to see you.” Your voice was a strained whisper. Your throat itched and burned as you talked. “I was planning to visit you after my mission, and well…”. 
A cup of water was thrust in your direction, a scarred hand connected to it. “Drink.” Came the simple word of Sanemi’s rough yet gentle voice.
Taking the cup, you give him a grateful nod before gulping it down. The cool liquid helps soothe your aching throat. “Thank you.” He takes the cup and sets it on the nightstand. Sanemi shifts so his body can fully face you. 
“Quit the corps.” 
It was such a cold, blunt sentence. Any hint of warmth in Sanemi’s voice was gone. His face held no expression now. There’s a faint twitch in his hand.
“Huh, why are you saying that so suddenly?” You asked, confused by his demand. Once you started dating, Sanemi would ask if you had any plans for your future, if you ever wanted to do something besides hunting. But never had he been this forward about leaving the corps.
Sanemi’s face goes through a few different emotions before settling on anger. He takes a couple steps closer to the bed, a scowl on his face. “Didn’t you hear me?! I said quit! Quit the corps; quit being a demon slayer!” He growled, his eyes intense. His heart was beating so fast it felt like it would burst.
You felt shaken. Sanemi’s temper was never toward you. To see it happen now felt like a punch to the gut. Especially with your head throbbing in pain. “I should quit just because I got hurt? We’re slayers. It's practically a part of the job.” 
“Well, this job isn’t for you! You were lying half-dead on Kocho’s doorstep! Might as well quit while you still have your life!” Sanemi shouted. His voice filled with anger and something more pained.
Feeling annoyed and hurt, you yelled back. “I just woke up, and the first thing you wanna do is chastise me? You’ve come home hurt many times, Sanemi. I’ve never told you to quit!’
“This is different. I’m a hashira. I’ve faced demons ten times stronger than any pathetic thing you’ve managed to kill. You’re weak, and those who are weak die! It’s amazing you got passed final selection at all!”
The room suddenly fell silent. Sanemi’s heavy breathing was the only thing filling the air. His face was red with rage. He stares down at you, and you suddenly feel small. He wasn’t a hashira for no reason. Seeing him tower over you like this was intimidating.
After a long, tense moment of silence, Sanemi speaks once more. “Leave the fucking corps.” Those were the last words before he stomped out of the room, slamming the door on his way out. 
You didn’t see him around for days. Not once had he come around to apologize or even visit. Sanemi had purposely been avoiding coming by the butterfly mansion. He would have one of the kakushi treat him or just walk back to his estate after a mission. He felt terrible about how he treated you, but it was necessary. To protect you, he had to be cruel.
Though, as time passed, he just kept feeling worse. He had to yell at you so you would quit the corps. He had to treat you like he did with Genya. But did that even work? His brother still became a demon slayer, even going as far as eating demons. This aching feeling was gnawing at him. You were just as stupidly stubborn. You wouldn’t leave the corps just because he treated you like crap.
It had been a while since that argument had taken place. Your wounds were healing nicely, and you would be back to going on missions soon. Shinobu had stopped by for a check-up. She began to chat as she changed your bandages.
“You know, Shinaguzawa was about to burst a vein when he found you outside my estate.” She chuckled.
You huffed and rolled your eyes, still upset with your partner. “I’m sure he was.”
“He was yelling so loud. I was sure he would wake my other patients.”
The night Sanemi found you, he felt many things. While mostly anger, it was also grief and fear. He kneeled over your crumpled form, taking you in his arms. It was like there was a loud ringing in his ears. He could only feel warm blood soaking through your uniform, staining his own. 
Shinobu was only a few steps behind him and quickly took in the sight. She ushered him to bring you into the estate. It was hard to separate him from your body. He was holding on so tightly. At first, Shinobu let him stay in the room as she worked. But as he kept barking at her to hurry up, to make you stop hurting, she kicked him out of the room. He sat by that door for hours, not bothering to change out of his blood-soaked clothes. He rushed into the room as soon as Shinobu finished patching your wounds.
The insect hashira left, allowing Sanemi his privacy. He sat by your unconscious body, Holding your hand tight and feeling your weak pulse.
“Why, why are you trying to leave me too? Why does this always happen to me?!” Through his anger and grief, a few tears spilled from his wide eyes. He needed to protect you. One of the last people he had left. No matter what it took or what he had to do. Sanemi couldn’t keep losing the ones he loved.
You were out for days, having lost so much blood. Sanemi stayed by your side whenever he could, only ever leaving for missions or meetings.
“Hm, you're healing well. Your ribs only have slight bruising now, and your concussion is gone. Once you finish your rehabilitation training, I’ll discharge you.” Shinobu spoke with her usual light tone as she wrote a few notes down.
Buttoning your shirt back up, you give her a polite smile. “Thank you, Kocho. You’ll have to let me pay you back one day.” 
“Oh, no need! Healing is just what I do.” As she spoke, her eyes gained a mischievous glint. Her dainty form takes a seat on your bed. She leans in close with a smirk. “But if you're offering, how about you pay me back with some gossip?” 
You look at her with a bit of suspicion. “What kind of gossip?”
Shinobu chuckled a little, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Come on, don’t play dumb. That argument wasn’t exactly quiet. I’m sure I can help. I’m a great listener.”
You let out a disgruntled sigh, looking at the hashira next to you. “I mean, why ask if you already heard everything?” Shaking your head, you decide to feed Shinobu’s curiosity. “It's just, Sanemi got so mad at me. I finally wake up after days, and the first thing he does is berate me.” You rant. It felt good to be able to talk about this.
“Well, Shinaguzawa does have the emotional intelligence of a brick. That doesn’t excuse his actions, but it does explain them. So, do you plan on forgiving him?” Shinobu asked, wondering how you’d answer.
That question was harder to answer the longer you thought about it. You wanted to forgive Sanemi, but what he said was hurtful. Even if he wanted to protect you, could you forgive him for saying those things? 
“I don’t know. Part of me wants to, but I still feel so hurt.” A pang of sadness shot through your chest. 
Shinobu looks at you with a look of sympathy. Setting a gentle hand on your shoulder, she stands up. “I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. Even if he won’t admit it, he’s pretty soft towards you.” She chuckled.
A few days passed, and you had fully recovered. Tonight would be your last night in the butterfly mansion. Packing your things, the door to your room slides open. Turning around, Sanemi stood in the doorframe. In his scarred hands was a parcel wrapped with twine. He looked as if he were nervous.
And truthfully, he was. He could fight waves of demons and not break a sweat. But emotions were a whole other ballpark for him. There’s a long, awkward silence as he stands there. He clears his throat a bit before speaking. “Can I come in?” 
You reply with a silent nod. Sanemi moved to take a seat on the bed. You sit next to him, though a bit far away. For a moment, it’s like he hesitates before offering you the parcel. “This is for you.” He said quite bluntly. “I know it looks like shit. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”
Taking the parcel and unwrapping it, it was filled with food. Fried meat and vegetables topped over a bed of rice. On the side, there was also a few ohagi. The knife cuts were sloppy, and the ohagi was misshapen. The food was clearly homemade. 
Before you could say anything, not even a thank you, Sanemi began to speak again. ‘I want to…apologize. I know crappy lunch and words won’t fix anything I said. Seeing you hurt made me lose my shit, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” 
“Sanemi, I-”
“Let me finish.” He almost snapped but looked apologetic afterward. “I need to work on my emotions rather than resorting to anger. It’s immature of me. But seeing you on the ground, looking like a corpse,” Sanemi stopped talking for a second, trying to bite back the rage bubbling up. “I want you to have a good life. No bleeding out, no fighting, no demons. But, being a slayer is your life. I can’t just tell you to drop everything you know because I don’t like it.”  
His tone gets more tense, almost pained. “I want to work things out, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Standing up, you move to stand in front of Sanemi. You wordlessly wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. The hashira was expecting a slap, any kind of negative reaction. To feel your arms hold him felt like a breath of fresh air.
“I still feel upset with you. And we’ll need to talk about that.” You curl up further into his arms, into his warmth. “But for now, I just want you to hold me.” You had been so lonely during the weeks he avoided you. Even if you were upset, you still loved him.
Sanemi quickly obliges.  Wrapping his strong, scarred arms around you. Feeling your soothing heartbeat, feeling that you were alive. Though he was still tense, a wave of relief washed over him. It was okay if you didn’t forgive him now, or maybe ever. At the moment, all that mattered to him was that you were alive.
The two of you would have a long talk. But for now, it was nice to sit in each other presence.
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dreamwritersworld · 11 months
Text
All too well. (Miles morales x reader)
Weather Miles knew it or not he was stabbing her right in the heart every time he made their relationship seem under wraps.
In front of everyone he refused to call their relationship what it was. Love. Not a childish relationship, at least not to Y/n.
Rio could see something was going on between the two. There wasn’t a day where she hadn’t dreamt of seeing Y/n in a wedding dress besides Miles, she was all too prefect. Y/n was practically the daughter she never had.
So Miles kept her close to his heart and he always got Y/n to return back into his arms but every time she did she felt shame, and he would just hold her lifeless frame. Their relationship was crowded, Gwen was stuck in the picture and the teenage boy was stuck between the two. He couldn’t imagine a life without either of them. Gwen gave him thrill and Y/n gave him comfort.
Both girls were spider-women except…Gwen wasn’t in their universe. She was gone and it had been months. Y/n remembered it all too well.
When arguments happened salty tears would fall from the two of them once they wrapped arms around each other, Miles breathed in her sweet candy scent wishing for it to smell like another. While y/n let tears fall knowing Miles imagined someone else with him. She didn’t trust herself, her body would always lead her back to the wrong things, him.
However…the patience of Y/n didn’t last longer. The night before everything went downhill they got into an argument…
It all started when we had came home from keeping watch on the city. Tonight wasn’t the best night, Miles was so distant and he refused to speak to me.
He spoke about me indirectly, I heard it.
“you’re just so irritable….”
I couldn’t ignore it, not this time. His frustration lighted a bottling flame waiting to ignite..
“I won’t ever understand you! You won’t even speak to me directly?! What am I supposed to do with that?!”
He turned around quickly, spoke irrational. Though I knew in some way or another he meant every word he said.
“If you were Gwen maybe I would’ve been just fine?!”
Hearing him say that made me want to die. Confirming something I denied for the longest. There was shuffling in my feet stepping backwards, my heart beginning to feel intense agony and the tears slipping from my eyes.
Miles couldn’t exactly see my face with my mask, but he knew what he had said cut deep.
“…we’re done.”
His hand reached out for me but all I could do was push him away. I fled immediately after, knocking into almost every building. My vision was disoriented since my eyes were flooding with tears.
That night I went to bed listening to my parents arguing in the living room, doing the same thing Miles and I had just done. Maybe it was for the better…maybe if I stayed I would’ve repeated the never ending cycle….
‘All’s wells, that ends well’ but Y/n was in a new hell every time he double crossed her mind. It goes without saying that the next day Y/n dreaded having to go to Jeff’s promotion party, but she would anyways because they were there for her big moments too…
My eyes felt swollen from the rough night and I couldn’t stop thinking about it all. Picking between the clothes and getting myself out of bed was difficult, this breakup felt final.
I took everything step by step and I took a deep breath walking into the party.
“Y/n! Hija you made it, I was getting worried!”
Rio rushed in giving me her nurturing love and all that hit was the fact that this will never happen as much. I wouldn’t allow myself to come over any more after this, not when I know I’d go back to him.
“Hi Mrs.Morales! Hi Mr.Morales-“
“Rio let Y/n breathe!…Cmon give me a hug kid!”
I did return that hug but all I could do was take the emotions in..
“Congratulations sir!”
once we were done with our greetings they turned my body quickly to the skylines of the city
“Isn’t it beautiful!…haha yea.”
The way Jeff had spoke sounded quick and awkward, he rushed my body to turn so fast.
“oh yea it is..”
Rio couldn’t just stand there and act like she didn’t see Y/n hurt regardless if she didn’t see the scene Jeff hid her from, she wanted to protect her but she wouldn’t lie to Y/n either.
“Oh princesa, lo siento.”
Confusión covered my face but inside hearing just that but not knowing why, I was so close to breaking down.
“What do you mean?”
Jeff looked to Rio with pleading eyes begging her to stop and Rio had a sense of genuine and a need to not hide something.
“Miles is with that girl Gwenda, I can’t lie to you Y/n. You’re just too sweet for me to lie. Just know that no matter how or why your relationship ended, no es por ti.”
My swollen eyes wanted to cry once more, I turned my body to the crime scene. He did talk to her the entire time in the beginning of our relationship…maybe did even worse. She came back now, and Miles was the one who ran to her the second we called it quits.
I knew based off the smile on his face, he’d never feel sorry for the way I hurt. He was showing her off just by simply bringing her and pulling her close…
The entire time Y/n was staring Jeff couldn’t believe his eyes, everything Rio had rambled about them being together and Y/n being in love, Miles loving her back but out of nowhere it only ever became halfway. It hurt seeing the pain that struck her eyes.
Jeff gave Y/n the biggest hug..
“If you want Y/n..you can pick out your food, eat and take a good nap on our couch before you head home.”
A small tear feel from Y/n’s eyes, all she could do was nod and walk away…
I’ve never doubted myself so much, I hate that I gave Miles power over that kind of stuff. At some point in our relationship it was always one step forward and three steps back.
Once I made it back down to their apartment I couldn’t nap, my body wouldn’t allow it. Something was telling me to go. So I did.
I closed the window and leaped onto building from building , trusting my body to lead me in the right direction. When I arrived there was a damaged building and a portal..no one was there and it hadn’t closed yet, so I jumped in..
!💓!
guys. please tell me yk the references.
Tag list: @justleila @tati-the-fangirl @kxllanxtdoor @abbersreads @abislays123 @not-aya @usernamepasswordsstuff @moralesluvrr @inluvwithneteyam @twinkletwinklenotastar @ilystarz @vodoo-heart @papichulo120627 @mashiromochi @frogsandmoss @laylasbunbunny
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futterurl · 7 months
Note
a mile schmidt idea: reader riding his thigh since he’s so tired from work but wants to see them get off anyway 🤭
oh my god PLS ive never been one for thigh riding but this is so fucking hot. oh my god ur so smart anon ily
WARNINGS: mike schmidt x fem! reader, thigh tiding (no way), clit play, orgasm
keep in mind i havent read a single thigh riding fic ever so im sry if this is like. super short and not good at all.
- - - - - - - - - - -
mike was so tired from his shift. he forced himself to stay up, just in case something happened. he opened the door to the sight of you laying down on the couch, your droopy eyes almost closing. once you heard the door. you looked up to see him.
he looked at you with lust in his eyes. seeing you, your beautiful figure lay on the couch. it was just what he needed to see after a hell shift.
he always felt bad, having you watch abby practically every single night. he wasn’t able to pay you back. he knew you deserved so much better, and with a tired, barely working brain, he didn’t think about the consequences.
“let me make it up to you.” he looked at you with tired eyes. he wanted to make you feel good, but he barely had any energy to do anything.
you stood up, confused. he didn’t let you talk as he kissed you, hands rubbing all over your body. you guys walked over to his room. he locked the door, making sure you were still making out with each other. ever touch filled with lust.
you started to straddle him, unconsciously grinding lightly on one of his thighs while kissing him. he got an idea.
“please. ride my thigh. wanna watch you cum on me.” he was practically begging at that point.
he pulled his pants down, only clad in his boxers. he helped you take off your pants and panties, revealing your dripping cunt to him. he wished he wasn’t so tired, or he’d ask you to sit on his face, or fuck you. something like that.
you sat back down on his thigh, your slick getting on his naked leg as you started to grind your cunt against it, needing to feel friction. he held his hands on your hips, keeping you balanced and steady as you rode his thigh. he squeezed your sides, he couldn’t get enough of you.
after you let out a slight moan, he brought you into his shoulder, noises muffled.
“gotta be quiet. no matter how much i wanna hear your pretty moans.”
you continued to let out muffled moans into his shirt as you rode his thigh with more vigor, your juices dripping down his leg. he could tell you were starting to feel really good.
once he dipped his hand down to rub your clit, you had a very hard time muffling your moans. you tried to be quiet, you really did, but as you were grinding on his thigh, you started to get close.
he looked at you, chasing your high. seeing your beautiful figure, bouncing on his thigh as you tried to cum, trying to silence your moans. it was almost enough to make him cum. almost. if he weren’t so goddamn tired.
“please, m’ close, please, fuck.” you whimpered, starting to get desperate. you started to ride his thigh even faster.
“come for me. let go. please. please come. wanna see it. you’re so hot.” he whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he started to rub your clit even faster.
after a few more seconds, you were spasming on his thigh as you approached your orgasm. mike kept attaching your clit as you rode out your high, juices getting all over his leg.
once you calmed down, you just. leaned into him, starting to become as tired as he was.
he didn’t care that his leg was wet with your cum. he didn’t care if he was down bad. he didn’t care. all he wanted was this moment, for you to be in his arms. it was perfect for him.
after covering you both with a blanket, he wrapped his arms around you, as you both fell asleep, cuddling each other.
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stevesbipanic · 5 months
Text
@steddiemas Day 23: "You were how old when you stopped believing in Santa?"
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Steve didn't know how but he'd been volunteered as the one to take Holly to see the mall Santa this year. From what he'd been told Holly had practically begged Karen to let Steve take her. She was always his favourite to babysit so he really didn't mind, but he did get Eddie to accompany him. Thankfully, his boyfriend didn't mind and actually thought Holly was pretty fun since she liked to pretend to be dragons with him.
Holly had taken both of their hands once they arrived at the mall, insisting that they swing her as they walked towards the line for Santa.
"I'm going to ask him for a dolly that looks like you, Stevie!"
"Aw thanks Holly, but you can ask for any doll you want ya know."
"I know but I want a pretty doll like you!"
"Yeah she wants a pretty doll like you, sweetheart."
Steve smiled fondly at the pair of them and was hit with the desire that one day he and Eddie could take their own daughter to see Santa. They patiently waited in line until it was Holly's turn. Steve could confidently say she was one of the more polite kids he'd seen go up to Santa that afternoon. He watched as she smiled brightly at Santa, telling him what she wanted for Christmas and blushed softly when she pointed at him as she asked for toys. After the picture they went for ice cream and she was asleep by the time they dropped her home.
It was a good day, and the boys talked about how cute Holly had been when they got back to their apartment that night.
"She's a good kid, much better than I was at that age, I complained the whole way when Wayne took me, I had stopped believing in Santa by the time I got to him. Mom was good with getting me Santa gifts but after she died it wasn't hard to connect the dots," Eddie explained cuddling into Steve on the couch.
"You got further than me, I never even got a Santa photo, the Nanny did Santa for me for a couple years but when you're three and you wake up to your parents packing for a vacation without you and not a single gift under the tree it's not hard to work out that Santa was fake," Steve replied, and he could feel Eddie stiffen beside him.
"You were how old when you stopped believing in Santa?"
"Three, although I don't think I really believed much anyway, no one told me many Christmas stories."
"Steve," Eddie said in that tone that Steve had come to know as the one people used when he shared something that was sadder than he realised it was.
"What?"
"Just adding things to my list of reasons I'm killing your parents."
Steve laughed softly, "Good luck I think they've decided I was dead to them once they heard I moved into the town's local drug dealer."
Eddie had that look in his eye that he was planning something but kissed Steve before he had much chance to ask. He learned what it was soon enough when the next day Eddie drove them back to the mall.
"What're we doing here, Eds? We already did our Christmas shopping."
"You'll see, sweetheart."
They exited the car and Steve wished they lived somewhere that let them hold hands. But Eddie still found moments to brush against his side until they reached their destination.
"Why are we at Santa again?"
"You said you never got a Santa photo, well we're going to get one, together."
Steve turned to his boyfriend and smiled brightly, no one had cared about him in the way Eddie did, he felt loved wholly.
"Robbie is going to be jealous."
"She'll forgive me, we'll do one of the three of us next year, maybe she'll have asked out Vickie by then."
Their Santa photo took a proud centre space on their refrigerator and it became one of Steve's favourite.
Ao3
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