If I could do it all again, I know I’d go back to you (ellie williams x reader)
ellie williams x f!reader
summary: two years can change a lot. and bring two people closer than before. wounds are opened and secrets are revealed. especially the ones you had no idea about.
warnings: slight angst & cursing
word count: 5.9k
a/n: this was supposed to be a totally random short idea i’ve had but but i somehow turned it into this. enjoy!
inspired by selena gomez’s song back to you.
Parties of all kind weren’t something you were usually looking forward to. The safest option you’ve always chosen was to cancel the last minute, coming up with the worst excuse possible. Did that ever make you feel guilty? Indeed, it did. But that feeling of guilt could never be compared to the amount of relief you felt once you knew, you can stay safely in your bed.
You’ve never been the social person. Avoided awkward conversations by not even starting them and never getting into too much details. That’s how you kept yourself protected, comfortable. This lack of mistrust was probably caused by the weeks and months you’ve spent travelling along the country, relying only on yourself and your switchblade.
Jackson seemed like a fever dream from the moment you arrived. Seeing what you have seen behind those fences, made it hard for you to believe that there’s still a chance in restoring the human kind. But those little kids running around without single worry in the world made you doubt your own words. As soon as you stepped inside this settlement, you knew you’re gonna do everything in your power to protect these kids from the atrocity lurking outside.
First few days, it all seemed like some kind of twisted social experiment. It felt so unbelievable to see people who still cherished the humanity inside them, compared to what you’ve experienced while running from place to place. Living in such world could change anyone, including you. You knew you had to survive no matter what. No just for you. But for all of those who sacrificed everything to save you, especially your father.
Ever since he had you, your father tried his best to make sure you won’t ever have to experience what he’s been through since the outbreak. You’ve spent half of your childhood travelling around America, looking for Fireflies. More than anything in the world, your father believed in restoring the humanity. And when he learned that the vaccine thing wasn’t never going to happen, his whole world shattered. Disappointed to ever believing it, you father couldn’t stand the weight of his own actions and did the unthinkable.
Since your father took his own life, you knew damn well you had the make the best of what you’ve had. You needed to make sure your life was worth living. Cause that’s what you owed to him.
So when you saw that group of children running around stables, playing the tag, it made you wonder if you could ever find this humanity in you again.
And you did, at least a part of that.
When you met Ellie.
Lord knew that no one could ever understand you the way she did. You two met a few days after you arrived, when Maria called you into her office, properly introducing you two, letting you know that Ellie is going to help you adjust. None of you were particularly keen on that idea as both of you loved to keep the distance.
But maybe that was what brought you two together. Ellie knew what is must have been — arriving to such place. Knowing the terrible truth about her immunity, she struggled to find a single purpose in life. And when Joel brought them both to Jackson, she felt included. And though she never experienced home, she knew that living there was the closest thing to that feeling.
In short amount of time, you two became best friends. Doing everything together, from having endless sleepovers to becoming patrol buds. Once Ellie convicted Joel and Maria to let you both join the team, you’ve become inseparable. Having each other’s backs in every single situation.
With Ellie being there for you, you finally allowed yourself to enjoy all of this. You allowed yourself to grow fondly not only of this place but of Ellie as well. Maybe in ways you weren’t ready to realise. For such a short amount of time, the two of you developed a bond like no other. Sharing the deepest secrets, knowing they’ll always be safe with the other.
Ellie spoke about her best friend Riley, about everything they’ve experienced together, including her death. You told her the story about your father, feeling comfortable to share it for the very first time. The day you’ve finally spoke about it out loud during one of your sleepovers, you felt as such a relief. You needed to get it out of system. And she was the best listener. And always knew how to make you feel better.
She had the lamest jokes, yet she never failed to make you laugh. She taught you how to use a bow.
She was everything you could’ve asked for.
And then she cut you off.
Shortly after your sixteen’s birthday, Ellie disappeared, running off. Although Maria tried to keep this information between her, Tommy and Joel, you happen to find out. And spent days worrying if you are ever gonna see that auburn haired girl again.
You begged Joel to take you with him, as he was headed to go and look for her. You needed to know she was alright, you needed to know she was alive.
But in the end, you were glad he said no.
Because something went down.
You knew that the second Ellie arrived back herself, leaving Joel miles and miles behind her. You knew that the second Ellie ignored you, standing by the stables and rushed home. The second you shouted her name and she didn’t turn around.
After that strange encounter, you haven’t seen Ellie for almost a month. You knew she was hiding in that little shed of hers, yet you didn’t dare to actually come and find out what happened. With Ellie, it was always best to give her time. And that’s what you did, hoping she’ll reach to you once she’s feeling better.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Ellie estranged herself not only from you, but from everyone, including Dina and Jesse. One morning, when the rain seemed to never end, you found yourself looking at a new patrol schedule, noticing something slightly strange.
Ellie’s name was crossed out of that list, having you signed on Joel and Jesse’s patrols.
Didn’t take you long to realise that her behaviour happen to be connected to Joel. That smile he used to have on his old face suddenly disappeared the minute he arrived back, leaving a pure grief glancing in his eyes. Every single patrol the two of you shared, you fought the urge to ask him what happened.
It took two months before you saw Ellie again. During one of the annual Saturday dances, you’ve decided to step out of your comfort zone and actually do something sociable. To keep yourself from anxiety swallowing your body, you’ve decided to be a little helpful and wait the tables. Going back and forth, you found yourself forgetting about all the struggles that’s been taking over your mind and having an actual good time.
That was before you saw her.
Headed back to one of the tables with drinks in your hand, you heard familiar voices mixed with laughter. Curious to find out what’s all the fuss about, you stiffened, not believing what you were seeing.
There she was in her slowly faded grey hoodie with a slight smile pictured on her face, standing next to Jesse and Dina who couldn’t believe it as well. Knowing she’s safe somehow brought tears to your eyes. You swiftly placed the order on the table, running back to counter to put down the tray.
Turning around, you wanted to hug her so badly. You wanted to hug her body, burry your face in her shoulder and then yell at her for twenty minutes for never telling you where she went.
None of that happened.
She caught a sight of you, noticing you standing by the bar. She raised her hand for a polite wave.
And that was it. One look into your eyes before she joined Dina and Jesse and went outside.
Leaving you there with a broken heart.
You weren’t exactly sure what caused her disinterest towards you. Before she took off, you couldn’t imagine spending single day without the other. Now it felt impossible to have it again.
To say you were destroyed by her treatment would’ve been an understatement. Didn’t matter how much you tried to overcome that, every single time you saw her around the town, enormous wave of anxiety flew over your body. She was everywhere. And when you managed to have a day without running into her, she was in your head instead.
You knew you deserved the truth. Even if she wasn’t interested in having you as a friend anymore, you deserved a proper closure. That’s what you decided to get. On a patrol, when a heavy storm forced to the two of you to take a shelter in nearby house.
Making sure you aren’t going run into sow unwelcome visitors, you checked the upstairs while Ellie went to the basement. Only then you two got back into living room, spending an awfully quiet forty minutes in each other’s presence. The awkwardness was more than obvious.
That was when you decided to speak up. With all the strength you’ve gotten in yourself, you looked at Ellie and dared to ask that one question that’s been stuck in your mind for weeks. Confronting Ellie seemed like a nightmare to you since weren’t a fan of tough conversations. Of conversations of all kind to be honest.
Getting that all out felt relieving, more than that.
Compared to what came after that.
“What do you want me to say?”
That tone of her voice made the blood in your veins boil. The lack of interest in her eyes broke your heart to pieces. As well as the words.
“Are you serious?” you whispered, shaking your head unbelievably.
“What?” she shrugged her shoulders.
“You ignore me for weeks and wonder why the hell am I angry about it? Are you fucking serious, Ellie?” you laughed sarcastically. “Do you even realise how shitty that have made feel?”
You so didn’t wanted to cry in front of her. Trying your best to keep it together, Ellie wasn’t making it any easier for you.
“I just think we grew apart,” she spoke, looking down.
You weren’t prepared to accept that.
“And I think you’re lying,” you whispered, crossing your arms. “That’s not the truth and you know it.”
“Just drop it, Y/N.”
“No, I’m not gonna—“
“Yes, you’re gonna fucking drop it!” she suddenly turned around, approaching you angrily. “Why the fuck don’t you get it? People grow apart, Y/N. Deal with it. I’m done having this conversation.”
She never spoke to you this way. She never made you feel like a stranger until that moment. She never brought so much pain to your you.
Losing someone you loved almost felt like matter of course in the world you were living in. Something you’ve always had to be prepared for. No matter what, you had to keep it together. You had to find something to fight for. Yet you were never prepared to suffer a loss like this. To look into someone’s eyes, knowing you’re no longer a part of their life.
Losing someone who used to be everything to you.
“Well I’m done with you.”
That was the last sentence that came out of your mouth before you grabbed your backpack and ran outside. Ignoring Ellie yelling at you to come back, you saddled up the horse, feeling your clothes soaking wet already. You didn’t care about anything or anyone. The numbness took over body.
After that, you and Ellie were never paired again. You spent most of your routes being accompanied by Jesse or other patrol kids your age. You and Ellie lost touch entirely. And you accepted that, though you couldn’t say that it didn’t break your heart. Because it did. To pieces.
Time heals everything, that is a fact. Even though you felt like this stinging pain is never going to go away, it did. It always does no matter how down you feel at that certain moment. It took a minute but you made it.
Two years later, you were here. Standing in the corner of the room with a beer bottle in your hand and desire of going back home to your warm bed at the back of your head. But you promised Dina you could never miss her birthday party. It took a lot of effort to get yourself out of the house and get ready but you made it.
And once you saw the smile on her face, you knew it was worth it. The second you arrived, Dina ran towards you and trapped your body in her tight hug.
“So glad to see you!” she couldn’t stop smiling.
“Wouldn’t dare to miss it,” you laughed. “Happy birthday, Dina.”
“Thank you,” the redness in her cheeks forced you to smile. “C’mon, go and have some beers with us.”
She offered, pointing to Jesse and Ellie standing in the living room in the middle of conversation with other guys from patrol team.
“Maybe later?” you mumbled. “I’m a bit worn out from patrol.”
“Sure,” she nodded, still smiling. Before she headed back to her friends, Dina grabbed your hand. “I’m really happy you’re here.”
She has always been so nice to you. Both her and Jesse. Every time you hung out, they made you feel welcomed. Which, over the course of last weeks, happened more than once.
Dina and Jesse weren’t idiots. They pretty much realised that something went off between the two of you, but didn’t ask for details. Ellie kept hanging around them most of the time, while you found your own ways of spending time. The first few months after that fight, you tried your best to avoid her — turning down every single one of Jesse’s invitations to join them on Saturday dances.
You knew you couldn’t heal if she stayed around you. You would never get over it. You needed to be alone.
Two years was a long time and eventually, you learnt to be around her. Going out with them from now and then, you two would never get into any kind of conversation. And if that happened, you mostly just awkwardly asked the other the most basic things before someone else decide to save you both. You two weren’t friends, just two people who shared mutual ones.
To be completely honest, you found a way of living your life without her presence. Of course you missed her. There were moments when you used to reminisce about your history. But you knew it was better like this. Time passed. You were both adults with their own lives.
Leaning against the wall you couldn’t help but notice that smile on her face. You bet she was telling one of her dad jokes. She had a whole book full of them and you remembered more than vividly how she used to torture you with them. The jokes itself weren’t that joyful, but she always made them funny.
With that grimaces on her face and gestures she did to emphasise her words. God, she always knew how to make you laugh. She managed to turn even the lamest joke in the funniest one you’ve ever heard. She was truly an extraordinary human being.
You wondered if those people around knew how lucky they were to have someone as loyal and as kind as she was. No matter what amount of pain she’d caused, you still thought of her very fondly. You cherished those memories more than the hate you felt. You wanted to remember Ellie in a good way.
“Who’s the lucky one?”
Jesse’s voice pulled up back into reality.
You shook your head, getting rid of these thoughts before your eyes met with his.
“That look on your face,” he grinned, taking a sip of his beer.
“What look?” you frowned, confused.
“The one you’ve had just a second a go,” he laughed. “Never seen you smile like that. If I didn’t know you so well, I’d think you were in love.”
“That was a good one,” you mumbled sarcastically. “I don’t do that.”
Jesse couldn’t help but laugh again. “So you’re not in love with her anymore?”
His words sent shivers down you spine. You turned to him, tossing his head towards Ellie standing just a few feet away from you.
“I never was, to begin with,” you stated.
“Yeah, sure,” he chucked, taking another sip. “You two were so obvious, it actually hurt that it never led to anything.”
He caught you off guard. You couldn’t manage to get a single word out of your mouth.
Which Jesse didn’t seem to mind as he continued to share his thoughts with you.
“Still don’t understand what the hell went down with you two,” he declared.
“Well, that makes us two.”
He couldn’t even hide the surprise your words brought to his face.
“I’m gonna get myself another beer, do you want one too?” you asked, pointing to his almost empty bottle.
Jesse nodded quietly, visibly still confused over your previous words. You knew you couldn’t have this conversation sober. Besides that, after an exhausting week, you deserved to let loose a little.
Entering an empty kitchen, you headed towards the fridge and grabbed two cold beers.
That little speech of his really got stuck in your mind. You’ve never perceived your relationship with Ellie in that way, or at least, that what you thought. You knew he was most likely just messing with you, yet you couldn’t get that idea out of your head.
Was there ever something more? Something worth mentioning?
“Is there any more left?”
A familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts and brought back to Dina’s kitchen.
Where you spotted Ellie, standing right behind you.
“Oh,” you shook your head and took a step away. “Sorry, yeah.”
You put the beers on the counter and took a deep breath. Closing your eyes just for a second, you tried your best to get your shit together. You were done, there wasn’t space for you to fantasise about the past.
“You alright?” you heard a slight concern in her voice.
Taking the beers, you turned around and saw her. That worried look on her face almost made you believe still cared for you. Which could’ve been true but you wasn’t gonna allow yourself to think that.
You nodded, forcing a fleeting smile on your face. “Just a long day, I’m fine.”
“Okay, just making sure,” she whispered.
The awkwardness was undeniable. You wanted to leave so badly but she was standing right in front of you.
“How’s the new route?” she asked.
A few days ago, Maria sent you and Jesse to explore a small town nearby. Lately, she has been trying to expand the patrol routes and you and Jesse turned out to be a reliable duo for such job.
Her sudden interest seemed shocking.
“Good, it’s good,” you answered. “It’s a bit longer, compared to the usual ones but we think that the stores could be filled with some good stuff. Maria mentioned they’re running short on medical supplies, so we’re gonna head out there once again this weekend. Hopefully, we’ll find something.”
“Let me know if you need a hand,” she offered politely.
What was more weird than that was that slight smile appearing on her face. It’s been ages since you’ve seen it. Brought a handful of memories back to your mind. You knew it was time to get back to Jesse.
As if she sensed your urge to leave, she gave you one last smile before disappearing back in the living room, joining Dina.
Now you needed that alcohol more than ever.
Jesse’s words and Ellie’s strange behaviour were not anything good for your wondering mind. Intrusive thoughts arrived once again, that’s when you knew that one beer wasn’t enough. You needed to detach yourself from that topic. Ellie wasn’t in love with you and you damn right weren’t in love it her.
So why you could not stop thinking about it?
As the night went on, so did the alcohol. When the clock turned eleven, the house has become more empty with majority of the guests slowly leaving. For most of the time, you kept yourself around Jesse and his friends, trying your best to avoid another encounter with Ellie. This sudden distrust you felt towards yourself when it came to being around her, concerned you. You needed to keep your distance in order to make sure you weren’t going to say or do something you might regret.
Even that small amount of liquid running through your veins made you feel a bit tipsy. Sitting down on the couch, you closed your eyes for a second to stop the world around you from spinning. You weren’t quite the drinker, that was more than obvious.
“Jesus Christ, that’s like watching a porn.”
Who’d knew hearing her voice could bring so much anxiety to you.
Turning your head to catch a sight of her, you found Ellie sitting on the other side of the couch with almost empty bottle in her hand.
“Huh?” you mumbled, puzzled over that statement.
“Just look,” she tossed her head, pointing out to Jesse and Dina standing by the staircase with Dina leaning against the wall while Jesse was kissing her hungrily.
“Are they gonna eat each other’s brains?” you shared, while observing the two of them, causing Ellie to chuckle. “Weren’t they broken up just a few days ago?”
“With these two, you never know. One day, she’s about to throw his stuff out of the window. Next thing you know, she’s walking down the aisle,” she mumbled, taking a sip. “But I’m happy, as long as they’re happy.”
“Even if you had to wear a bridesmaid dress?” you grinned.
“Fuck, no, never,” she shook her head, visibly disgusted over that idea. “Don’t even say that out loud.”
“C’mon,” you laughed. “It’s a best friend duty.”
“They’re each other’s best friends,” she stated. “I’m an additional third wheel.”
“Why’d you say that?” you couldn’t help but ask.
“I’ve never said I hated it,” she shrugged her shoulders, not looking at you. “Not everyone you hang around are necessarily your best friends.”
“Tell me about it.” You couldn’t help with this one.
Ellie laughed. “Should've seen that one coming.”
The silence filled with Jesse’s record still playing settled across the room. Before long, you realised that you and Ellie were the last ones here, with Dina and Jesse disappearing upstairs. You stopped to think whether is this your call to leave or a chance to finally have that conversation you’ve never fully gotten.
“Can I ask you something?” you spoke, forcing Ellie to snap out of her thoughts.
She took a brief look at you, nodding in response.
It was time to put the cards on the table.
“Why did you cut me off?”
Maybe it was the liquid courage that made you so devoted to get the answer.
Ellie cracked a laugh. “Had to shoot your shot, didn’t you?”
You shrugged your shoulders, hoping to get something more from her.
“Never thought you’re ever gonna talk to me again, let alone ask me about this,” she confessed.
“Well, what’s the point in hiding? Everybody knows we got unfinished business,” you whispered. “I know I shouldn’t do that — going back to it, bringing back the pain I’ve been through. You hurt me, Ellie. You hurt me the way no one has ever managed to before. And that’s not even the worst part of it all.”
She sat there quietly, listening to every single word you’ve said. Knowing damn well she wasn’t brave enough to say anything.
“You could cut me out of your life, say you never want to see my face again. Pretend I don’t exist. You could break my heart in two, Ellie. But when it heals, it beats for you,” you let it all out. “That’s what I hate about this the most, Ellie. No matter how much you are going to hurt me, I’m always going to care for you.”
She expected to hear a speech from you, being aware of the fact that she had caused you pain with her actions. But this wasn’t quite the talk she was prepared for. She thought you’re gonna yell at her, letting the anger from all those years bubble up and give her the shit she so well deserved. But you did something completely different, something that caught her off guard.
You could’ve done that, had every single right for it. However, what would the point of it all? You dealt with it in your own way. It took mighty effort but here you were. Healed.
“Can see that pure shock in your face,” you laughed, having a little dig at her. “Did you expect me to go all crazy?”
“No, I just…” she stopped, exhaling frustrated. “Maybe? Wouldn’t blame you for that, to be honest.”
“Thanks for the opportunity, but I’m fine,” you whispered. “It’s been two years, Ellie. Now, I’m not saying I should just forget it and act like it never happened, but I’m not gonna go around, making your life a living hell because of something you’ve done to me.”
“Well, now I feel like a shit,” she whispered, causing you to chuckle. “What I did two years ago, wasn’t something I’d be majorly proud of, just so you know. But at the time, I really thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Why?” you asked.
“Cause I was falling in love with you and that’s something I couldn’t afford in a world like this.”
You weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol running through your veins or Ellie’s unexpected confession that suddenly made the world around a little blurry. You couldn’t help but think of Jesse’s words. Was he right the whole time?
“You were falling in love with me?”
Goosebumps took over your body as soon as those words left your mouth. You already heard her confess it but there was this strong desire to hear her admit that once again.
Ellie nodded, not breaking the eye contact.
“So you cut me off because of the way you felt?” you mumbled. “You could’ve just told me.”
“Well, I think we both know much I suck at having uncomfortable conversations,” she laughed sarcastically. “Besides, what possible scenarios would come out of that? It’s not like we’ve ever had a shot.”
The silence settled across the room once again.
“Not if you knew the truth,” she added. “I thought it would be much easier to let you go, force you to hate me. Rather than give you an actual reason for that. But in the end, it hurts just the same way. Losing you.”
“I think, after everything I've told you tonight, you should already be aware of the fact that I could never hate you.”
“You say that now, but if you knew,” she shook her head. “You told me that two years changed a lot. I was hoping for the same ending. But even after two fucking years, it takes one look into your eyes for me to realise that I’ll never stop loving you. No matter how much I tried.”
You demanded one answer. Instead of that, you’ve received something completely different. Something that forced you to forget about the world around you, even for a second and stare into that green eyes of hers.
She really knew you to mess you up.
“I’m truly not the best at giving advice, but maybe you should stop, y’know. Trying.”
Ellie’s soft laugh filled the space between the two of you.
“You’re really making this much more harder for me,” she whispered, taking one last sip before placing the empty bottle on a table in front of her. “Would’ve been a lot easier if you actually hated me.”
“I’m afraid that’s not gonna happen any time soon,” you said, bringing a fleeting smile on Ellie’s lips. “I’m gonna go. It's getting late and I have an early patrol so I need at least four hours of decent sleep. But do me a favour, Ellie,” you turned to her before getting up, “stop being your worst enemy. You’ve suffered enough because of the consequences of your own actions. The only person who’s stopping you from being happy, is you. I hope you’ll realise that.”
You knew this was your cue to leave as you’ve finally received the conversation you deserved, even more so. Although the answer was miles away from idea that has been hanging in your mind for the past two years. It seemed almost as ridiculous, knowing how she felt about you. Just when you thought that nothing could ever surprise you when it came to Ellie, there she was.
Confessing her feelings to you.
And you once again remembered Jesse’s words. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself, as you were leaving Dina’s porch. He was right, surprisingly.
You felt proud of yourself. For saying all the things you wished you would’ve said years ago, for not letting the anger to get the best of you. Now it was your time to head home, get yourself tucked in your cold sheets. And finally rest.
A few days later, you were ready to set out on your trip with Jesse. Knowing it won’t be as easy as one of your usual shorter routes, you came prepared. With a backpack filled with all the necessities you’d might need, you decided to pick up Jesse at Dina’s and walk together.
Knocking on the door twice, you heard some noises. Just a second after, you saw Jesse standing in the doorway, half naked.
“Remember how you said you’d never overslept? Well now it’s my time to shine,” you grinned. “But you better hurry up, cause we should head out at eight so we can arrive before the sun goes down.”
“About that,” he uttered, unusually nervous. “I have a terrible headache.”
You laughed, hoping it’s one of his lame jokes.
“You’re kidding right?” you shook your head. “Is this some kind of twisted joke? Jesse, Maria’s relying on us. What the hell am I supposed to do know? That woman is going to kill me, my blood is going to be on your hands.”
“Easy there, Shakespeare,” he rolled his eyes. “Maria’s already aware of my condition. And she’s pretty confident you’re gonna be great on your own.”
“Alone?” you whispered. “How I am supposed to go there alone? It’s tens of miles away from Jackson. Jesse I swear to god—“
“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You know I would love to help if I could. You’re going to be fine, trust me. Just don’t forget to take your bow.”
You weren’t sure if you wanted to kill Jesse or turn around and run home. The idea of travelling all by yourself to an unknown place seemed rather scary. Maria knew you’ve proven to be very useful when it came to patrols but you weren’t sure if you were truly strong enough to do this alone, without any help.
Anxiety took over your already worried mind as you walked through the town, rubbing your hands nervously. You needed to get your shit together in order to finish this mission in one piece. There was no time for second thoughts. Maria, as well as the rest of the town, was counting on you. You couldn’t let them down.
The snow was slowly covering the ground, expect for the stables. Checking if you didn’t forget to take your switchblade, you approached the table nearby, with munition prepared specially for you. You put the riffle over your shoulder while a revolver slipped into your thigh holster. Grabbing the ammo, you were ready to take off.
Before you headed for your horse, you’ve noticed something.
A bow laying on the table.
Over the past few years, you’ve found your ways around guns. You felt more comfortable having them with you. With the world you were living in, it was better to be safe than sorry. You’ve had your favourites. The ones you knew how to handle without a single worry. But bow wasn’t one of them.
It was someone else’s speciality.
“I believe that’s mine.”
You froze, hearing her voice.
For two whole seconds, you didn’t want to believe it. You were prepared to accept that you were hallucinating rather than acknowledging the fact that she was standing right behind you.
“Sorry,” she smiled, stepping closer to you. “I'm just gonna take my bow,” she whispered, reaching behind you to grab it.
You couldn’t believe it.
Until you remembered Jesse’s words.
Just don’t forget to take your bow.
You didn’t even manage to process this whole situation when Maria arrived, leaving you no space for that.
“Finally,” she stated. “I was starting to get worried that you’ve caught the flu as well.”
“I thought it was head—“ you stopped, putting it all together once you saw that grin on Ellie’s face. “Never-mind.”
As Maria started explaining the original plan to the two of you, your mind drifted away, not paying any attention to her words. You didn't have the ability to focus at the moment, only thinking about Ellie standing next to you, carefully listening to Maria. Was this her plan or just one of Jesse’s twisted jokes? Too many ideas in you head with answer nowhere to be found.
“…so that’s settled,” Maria’s voice pulled you back to reality. “Stick to this route, don’t take any shortcuts and don’t overestimate yourselves. If you come across something you can’t handle, you’ll come back. Understood?”
You both nodded quietly.
The second Maria disappeared, after giving you a proper goodbye, you turned to Ellie.
“So, headache huh?” you asked, forcing Ellie to suppress her urge to laugh. “I’m going to kill him.”
She eventually bursted out, visibly enjoying your reaction.
“Don’t, it’s not his fault,” she uttered between laughs. “He was just trying to be helpful.”
“I can see that,” you mumbled sarcastically. “What are you doing here, Ellie? I mean, really. What are you really doing here?”
She cooled down, getting herself together before she took a step closer to you, entering your comfort zone.
“You said I should stop trying,” she added, taking another step closer. “So here I am. Totally not trying at all.”
You’d lie if you said that her words followed by that mischievous smile did nothing to you.
“And if I’m going to do that, if I’m going to try, then it’s going to be for a completely different reason. As long as it’s okay with you, Y/N.”
The second you felt Ellie’s hand reaching out for yours, intertwining your fingers, thousand of butterflies bursted out inside your body.
“Is that okay with you?” she asked. “Is that okay if I’m gonna go with you, take down some fungus creatures? Now I know you are a very capable shooter but I was just wondering if me and my bow could join you," she winked.
You smiled at her words.
“Yeah, I think that’s okay with me.”
My thoughts are running loose, it’s just a thing you make me do. And I could fight but what’s the use? I know I’d go back to you.