#hopefully I'd done that in the past and if not...YOLO

[fleetofshippyships]

"I don't regret it" or "I'd do it again in a heartbeat" for wei wuxian/wen ning if you like? Feel free to rephrase if you wanna 😊

(So...I totally thought I’d posted this ages ago but apparently I didn’t 😅 I think I was too anxious about it not being any good so I didn’t post it in the end buuuuuuuut in this dry spell of being unable to write due to poor health...IT’S A PRE-WRITTEN FIC I CAN POST SO HERE YOU GO)

AO3 Link

Content: Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, Morning After, Communication

An Offer of Comfort and Distraction

“I don’t regret it,” Wen Ning said, his voice as quiet as always, but firm in a way Wei Wuxian had never heard before.

Wei Wuxian inhaled sharply and forced back everything he had been planning to say. He had spent all morning trying to find the right words and was only partially successful. He’d expected to have much longer before this confrontation would occur.

It seemed he had once again underestimated Wen Ning.

“Last night,” Wen Ning clarified, as if there could be any confusion.

He set the tray down on the only clear space available on the table, and then knelt to begin pouring the tea. He didn’t look at Wei Wuxian again until he held out a cup of tea. His expression was almost as timid as it always was, but there was a steely glint to his eyes, like he was bracing for something. And he was wearing his hair differently, unfastened and hanging down over the front of his shoulders.

“Ah, thank you,” Wei Wuxian muttered uselessly, taking the cup from him and letting it warm his hands as he tried to think what to say, and tried not to think about the marks Wen Ning was probably hiding behind his hair.

In truth, he’d thought that he’d have to hunt Wen Ning down for this conversation. That Wen Ning would avoid him and try to pretend it hadn’t even happened.

He sipped at the tea and looked over Wen Ning. He seemed almost entirely his usual self, as if such a thing had not happened. Or as if such a thing was not unusual at all.

“If Wei-gongzi regrets it, then I apologise,” Wen Ning said, lowering his head, his fingers fisting his robes where they rested on his knees. “I only wanted to—”

“No,” Wei Wuxian said firmly, putting his cup down so quickly the tea splashed everywhere.

Regardless of how unexpected such a thing was, and how he could not have ever predicted doing so, he would not accept Wen Ning shouldering the blame. He would not let him feel as if he had done wrong when he had clearly only tried to help him. Tried to console him.

He shuffled around the table and laid his hand gently over one of Wen Ning’s clenched fists.

If anyone had been wronged, it was Wen Ning.

“I must beg your forgiveness,” Wei Wuxian said softly.

This close to him, he could smell the faint scent of medicinal herbs and woodsmoke, and had to close his eyes against a rush of heat. Mere hours ago, he had pressed his face to the skin of Wen Ning’s neck and not only inhaled his scent but tasted his skin.

What they had done was unexpected, but his reaction now, in the light of day, even more so.

Wen Ning looked up, eyes wide. He shook his head vigorously. “No, no! I wanted to, I instigated,” he said, his voice both weak and firm at the same time. A dizzying contradiction.

“Instigated?” Wei Wuxian muttered. A strangely formal way to put it.

Given the way Wen Ning had known what to do more than Wei Wuxian had, he had a sudden suspicion that perhaps Wen Ning really had done such a thing before, and perhaps unsavoury accusations had been made. It would not surprise him, at first glance Wen Ning seemed almost child-like, but any amount of time spent with him revealed a surprising intelligence behind his meek appearance.

Wei Wuxian had discovered this at the Cloud Recesses, as he’d spent increasing time with Wen Ning before parting at the conclusion of their time there.

“I only wanted to make you feel something good,” Wen Ning said quietly. “You've been so...”

Wei Wuxian closed his eyes. Heat pulsed through him again as his mind helpfully supplied him with just how good it had felt. And he couldn’t deny it had turned his mind away from the oppressive fear and guilt as he failed to find a way to help Jiang Cheng. Even upon waking, it had been a distraction, Wen Ning already gone and nothing left but agonising worry over whether he had ruined everything in that moment of weakness with him.

And still, there was a lingering fear that Wen Qing would storm in and murder him at any moment for daring to lay his hands on her brother.

He couldn’t forget his pressing need to read every medical text Wen Qing had, he couldn’t forget his own brother, lying in an induced comatose state while he regained what little strength he could regain. But his mind strayed surprisingly easily to memories of what he and Wen Ning had done. And the realisation that he had leapt at the chance for a distraction, despite himself, unthinking of the consequences and unthinking of whether it was even right to do such a thing.

“And I took advantage of you only trying to—”

“No!” Wen Ning said, his voice louder and firmer than Wei Wuxian had ever heard it.

He covered Wei Wuxian’s hand atop his own, holding tight. He leaned closer into Wei Wuxian’s space, bringing with him more of that scent that sent Wei Wuxian’s mind back to the tangle of their bodies.

“Wei-gongzi, no!” Wen Ning repeated. “I wanted to. It was I who...but knowing that you didn’t...I still...I have always wanted...” He lowered his head and closed his eyes, making a low sound of distress. “I just wanted...and I thought...but I should not have. I didn’t...I didn’t really think you would...but then you did and I...”

Wen Ning’s expression became more and more distressed, his difficulty with words returned, and the grip he had on Wei Wuxian’s hand tightened until it was almost painful. The sight of his distress woke in Wei Wuxian, as it always had, a desire to reach out and comfort him, an arm over his shoulder, perhaps even a proper hug, but now...now he had held his body close in other ways and couldn’t trust himself not to press his lips again to Wen Ning’s throat to prompt another kind of embrace.

He couldn’t help but wonder if Wen Ning would melt into such an embrace even now in his distress.

He closed his eyes against another surge of arousal. He had never considered such a thing with Wen Ning, or any man, except one dream he’d had of Lan Wangji that he’d tried not to examine too closely. But regardless, his body woke from Wen Ning’s mere presence alone now, and it was becoming more difficult to even remember why he was so concerned.

“Wen Ning, are you—”

“A cutsleeve? Yes,” Wen Ning admitted, and Wei Wuxian opened his eyes to see he was flushed pink and still looking down at his lap.

He felt a flush rise on his own face as he considered whether he might be as well, with how easily he had found desire in Wen Ning’s embrace.

“No, I meant...are you sure you don’t regret it?” he asked. “There are other ways to comfort me, you didn’t need to do that.”

“I know,” Wen Ning said quietly, peeking up at him. “I wanted to.”

Wei Wuxian recalled his earlier words and inhaled slowly. It had been his intention to apologise and try to mend whatever damage he had wrought with his poor self-control and surprising actions, but now he found himself turned around and facing an unknown direction.

Even if he had never imagined he might do such a thing, with Wen Ning of all people, he could not deny he had enjoyed it, and it had provided a blessed distraction even if he couldn’t help but feel guilty for taking his mind off Jiang Cheng’s plight for even one moment.

“You have wanted to...always, with me?” he asked, his face aflame at the presumption, but his mind filled with the feel of Wen Ning pressing into his every touch. At no point had Wen Ning seemed like he was enduring something just so Wei Wuxian would feel better. But in his haze of grief and guilt, Wei Wuxian couldn’t trust his own judgment. His decisions had already caused so much pain.

Wen Ning’s lips twitched into a smile, and he nodded bashfully, loosening his grip on Wei Wuxian’s hand and then releasing it entirely.

“Wei-gongzi has always been kind to me, never...never treating me like...like I’m stupid and...” He averted his eyes as his face flushed even darker. “Wei-gongzi is very attractive also.”

Head flooded Wei Wuxian’s cheeks, but spread further down also, creeping down his neck and chest and then pooling in his abdomen and between his legs. Wen Ning’s skin had flushed that way in the night too. It had stoked a flame in Wei Wuxian, the way he had bitten his lip and closed his eyes and bared his throat for Wei Wuxian’s lips, whispered his name and guided his hands.

He turned and picked up his discarded cup, draining what was left and fighting to control the sudden surge of arousal pulsing through him. It was not the time for such things. He had many more texts still to read, every lost moment was another Jiang Cheng remained in such a state.

“I don’t regret it,” Wen Ning said again, his voice firm. “I would do it again if you also desired it.”

Wei Wuxian clutched at the cup as his mouth went dry imagining such a thing.

“It was good to see...see you resting after,” Wen Ning added, his stutter returning. “You...you need more...more rest.”

With a slow inhale to calm the well of pain that rose up at the reminder, Wei Wuxian closed his eyes and shook his head.

“There’s no time. Jiang Cheng needs me.”

“A-Jie always says, a sick physician can...can help no one but...but only cause more harm,” Wen Ning said. “You will study better when well...well rested.”

Wei Wuxian looked at the texts he had spread out over the table. It was true that even though his mind had drifted to his worries about Wen Ning often over the morning, he had found it easier to read and follow the texts after a night of sleep. Perhaps even because he had woken feeling more relaxed and rested than he had in a long time.

“I will leave you to it then.”

Wen Ning rose smoothly to his feet, and Wei Wuxian found himself scrambling to do the same. He earned an expectant look from Wen Ning, as he waited to hear what Wei Wuxian had to say, but Wei Wuxian found himself speechless.

He truly did not know how things were meant to be done...after what they had done.

“Are you...are you well?” he asked, his face burning with embarrassment, and perhaps a little shame. He should have asked that from the start. He should have hunted Wen Ning down the moment he woke to make sure he was alright.

Wen Ning nodded, smiling again. “There was only pleasure, no pain.”

His ease in discussing such a thing put Wei Wuxian to shame. It was truly not what he would have expected, had he ever thought about it.

Instead of speaking further, and not knowing what to say, in any case, Wei Wuxian stepped closer and reached out. When he shifted Wen Ning’s hair behind his shoulders, his breath caught at the sight of bruising on his pale neck. He gently brushed his fingers over one of the marks. He could still recall the feel of Wen Ning’s pulse racing, and the sounds he had made vibrating beneath his lips.

Wen Ning’s eyes slipped closed and he sighed softly as Wei Wuxian touched his neck. The sound sent a shiver down Wei Wuxian’s spine, chased by another rush of heat and the urge to follow his fingertips with his lips.

“I bruised you,” he said instead, pulling his hand back and trying to rein himself back under control.

It was one thing to lose control and give in to passion and distraction in the night, but the day had barely begun, there was still so much to do, so many medical texts still to read.

Wen Ning reached for his hand but aborted the motion. He searched Wei Wuxian’s expression then lowered his gaze to the ground. A pink flush rose on his cheeks, and then he peeked back up.

“It felt very nice. If Wei-gongzi likes, I could...I could return tonight and...demonstrate,” he said, his voice a little shaky, but his gaze like it had been in the night, warm and knowing.

“Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian whispered, scandalised at the ease in which he offered and undeniably aroused by the idea of another night with him, even if he was still coming to grips with the passionate night they had already shared.

Wen Ning smiled slightly and gestured to the tray he had brought in. Wei Wuxian glanced at it and noticed for the first time a plate of food.

“Please remember to...to eat while you work,” Wen Ning said, shifting his hair back to hide his neck.

He turned to leave, and Wei Wuxian said nothing as he rapidly thought over their conversation. With a growing sense of distress, he realised he had never said perhaps the most important thing. For all his confusion and need to process what they’d done, one thing was clear, now that he had heard how Wen Ning felt about it.

“I don’t regret it,” he called out after him, his heart racing. “And I would...I would do it again.”

Wen Ning turned in the doorway, and then his face split into a brilliant smile.

#ningxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wei wuxian #wen ning #wwx #wn #mxtx #my fanfic #prompted works #welp hopefully it's alright cos I sure didn't have the spoons to give it a proper read through and edit before posting #hopefully I'd done that in the past and if not...YOLO #ylime94 #asked and answered