#how the fuck do people tag these im going insane

[drifloonz]

General dating headcannons for Red or Steven plz🥺👉🏼👈🏼

MY FIRST ASK FINALLY ( ok there was one before this but i didn't see that I'LL GET TO YOU LATER SORRY ) hiii . i can do that 4 u. idk if u meant glitchy or Normal Red so i'll just tack them all in one big post. we love champions who are slightly deranged ( and also red. who's like. just normal. relatively. ) i can write so much for these 3 you will regret it. some of these became general headcanons but i hope this feeds you for at least a week.

because i wrote way too much. Like. Way too much. I apologize in advance theres so much

dating headcanons for red, steven, and glitchy red!

Red

♡ of course, he's mute - whether selectively or he just literally can't speak ( or almost literally never chooses to speak ). i prefer the ladder bc red speaking feels wrong. due to this, if you know sign, he can communicate that way - but he's also really good at just like.... gesturing. it may be harder to understand at first, but the more you get to know him the more you learn certain expressions or gestures. he also makes noises, grunts(?) of affirmation, hums, things like that. he really likes making those sorts of noises actually, especially if you're dating him. he's actually pretty expressive when he wants to be, so he's not that hard to understand.

♡ on a related note, he likes to hold you ( being the big spoon... he likes making you feel comfortable and protected ) and hum against you, making you sorta feel his chest vibrate a little bit.

♡ his form of affection is very much physical, he loves to hug you and to hold your hand. even if he's the champion ( or an ex-champion? it's unclear, nobody's really stated to dethrone him iirc, he just takes breaks, vacations, and does tournaments sometimes ) he won't care about giving you physical affection in public for the world to see. especially if it flusters you but you don't seriously have an issue with it, then he loves to give you just little kisses on the cheek. when your face is red ( pun semi-intended ) it makes you look cute, to him.

♡ if you have a pokemon team of your own or are in any way interested in battling he'll love to show you the ropes or help you get better at it. he won't fight you immediately if you're not that great, but he will tell you what pokemon he thinks you'd like ( probably just . showing you ones in his pokedex or googling them idk. ) . he just loves to teach and help people get better at things bc you know battling and catching mons is this dudes special interest all the way. he even probably knows and cares about IVs and EVs and natures, but doesn't teach you about those immediately since its more advanced stuff.

♡ also yea he's autistic. All of these 3 are actually. Massive win for the autism community.

♡ if we're making strangled red canon to this red's timeline the reason he's so interested in pokemon training and battling is bc he looked up to steven who Also loved that shit to death. steven at his prime was arguably even more competitive and good than red was. to be determined though since he fucked off, but he was probably an undefeated champion until the incident. This is more of a general red hc than a dating one and also more of a steven hc but it's semirelated. if not, he probably had a lifelong interest in this sort of stuff via watching the other champions in other regions on his tv, in the news, or something like that.

♡ sometimes if you explicitly agree to it ( bc he doesn't want to give you things you don't want or don't wanna be responsible for ) he'll randomly just... give you a pokemon he caught. he just gives you it and goes 'thought of you when i saw this.' in sign.

♡ his pokemon are also naturally protective of and like you too. give them pets and treats and they will be all over you. they might even be more affectionate with you than red sometimes. red doesn't take serious offense to it, he thinks its funny tbh.

♡ his idea of dates are either entirely regular things like going to a cafe or having a picnic or it's shit like hiking up mt. silver or flying on the back of his massive fucking charizard and just seeing where the wind takes you two. he's an adventurer at heart, and if you like that then you'll love him bc one month you'll be in kanto in his house and the next you'll be in fucking galar or something. never a dull moment, really.

♡ massive cuddler. as said before. big spoon, although he won't object to being the little spoon if you really wanna. will Not let go of you unless you really want him to as well. he snores a little in his sleep, but not to a disruptive degree. it's cute. alternatively, if you don't wanna cuddle him he'll probably have plushies or a pillow he holds in his sleep instead. me, my boyfriend, and his 500 poke four-foot tall pikachu plushie

♡ he's not too much of a fashion guy but he does find matching outfits cute. honestly, he'd buy you the same or a similar hat/vest as his just bc he thinks you'd look really cute in it.

♡ he's probably taller than you. not comically, but noticeably. likes to pat your head sometimes. he finds it funny if ur shorter than him like damn. How's the weather down there.

♡ gives so many kisses. doesn't give many on the lips, actually? especially in public. he Will but not as often. he really loves kisses on the cheek in particular, giving and receiving. the loverboy...

♡ overall A tier boyfriend. big teddy bear type of guy. amazing cuddles. 10/10.

Steven

♡ assuming this is far past all 3 of his stories ( post miki and mike death, post whatever the hell he did in doors open and strangled ) how the fuck did you even start dating him

♡ regardless of the way ( i like to think that you stumbled into his home out of curiosity and he just was sort of irritated but let you stay and then became attached ), i'm assuming this is past all of that, and therefore steven has become a little less fucking murderous. if you met him earlier while he was still in a very easy to anger state, he'd probably've killed you. he knows this and he's always going on horrible thought processes of 'oh god what if i hurt them too' and that sorta thing.

♡ 100% taller than you. he's like 6'5" or taller. perhaps even Inhumanely Tall due to like missingno or something. he's usually slouching all the time due to this and he has horrible scoliosis and back problems probably. but when he stands up to his full height. jesus christ. he will def tease you, usually wordlessly and with actions, by just like. leaning on you or putting his hand flat on yours to emphasize the height difference. he thinks its funny.

♡ steven, like glitchy, is actually really social despite how he looks and acts. or at least, craves being social - or socialized with. he used to be looked up to, he used to talk to people and often, and he used to be a champion. of course, he was still a man of few words back then as well, but not as few as he is now. due to this, he'll mostly give you straightforward answers or sentences, and slowly become a bit more talkative as the relationship progresses. still, he does prefer to just listen to you talk and nod along or hum in approval... your voice comforts him.

♡ you also have to be decently far in the relationship to coax him into doing this, but he may even go out with you. like. Like out into the world. he's been so scared of how everything's changed, and of course, he does go out sometimes but he tries to avoid society as hard as he can. Do not ask steven how the fuck he got into bell tower he probably just snuck in there one night after flying to johto w miki or some shit. i like to think he himself either requested all of his info be just sort of swept under the rug after he lost miki due to feeling like he didn't deserve to be a champion without her, or the kanto league intentionally tried to make everyone forget about him after his dissapearance - since it's been so long, this has been relatively successful. only red, blue, daisy, and oak would probably know him nowadays along with some older pallet town and kanto residents probably. therefore if you wanna take him out into the world maybe avoid pallet town since it's oughta be cause for a lot of concern to the townspeople, and he really doesn't want to worry them all.

♡ despite this he does worry about the remaining residents. he never got to see red or blue go on their own journeys since he became a hermit before that happened, so he's worried about their safety. if you tell him they're fine he'll be so fucking relieved. Alternatively, they're not ( snow on mt silver and or blue tears, among other pokepastas that could've happened ) but you know. don't tell them if they aren't fine, he doesn't want to know. either way, he also feels extremely awkward about the whole daisy thing as he never officially broke up with her, he just sort of left. but obviously, he's in a relationship with you now - he just can't help but worry about her as well sometimes.. mostly just hoping that she's had a better life than he has.

♡ his voice is gruff and rough and a little scratchy from not using it that much. this won't change too much but if you're into that then well. good news for you ig. please give this man tea with a lot of honey he needs it. and he also probably likes tea more than coffee anyways for various reasons.

♡ he sometimes has nightmares about The Incident ( both miki's death, which is scarred into his brain, and murdering mike. possibly also him killing two unrelated people who were probably kids in doors open and strangled as well, but much less than his nightmares about murdering mike and miki dying. he has a lot lying on his conscious ). he'll wake up silently, probably sweating and trying not to wake you up, but if you do wake him up, just talk to him - take his mind off of it or relax him. he'll appreciate it. he'll happily do the same for you.

♡ hugs you really tightly. is not aware of his own strength or grip until you ask him to do it less. he hugs you like you'll die if you escape his arms, essentially. due to this he will also hug you a lot while cuddling, especially in bed. he doesn't want you to leave his embrace, and may even be a little tentative to let go if you ask him to.

♡ type of dude to wake up early morning, grumble something about "five more minutes," sleep in and then fall asleep with you again and then the two of you wake up at like 5 pm with major bedheads. he has a nonexistent schedule. he doesn't even sleep that often, usually opting to just stay up until he physically can't keep his eyes open. he sleeps... for very long periods of time.

♡ he likes to take walks and just roam. he did this a lot more before he killed mike but after miki died, just roaming and pacing endlessly across kanto since he had nothing else to do, and now he sort of doesn't do it out of fear of someone recognizing him.. but if you say you're gunna go on a walk he'll happily ask to join, just... expect him to not follow if you go into an area that's too public. it overwhelms him + fear of being recognized or perceived in general by people that aren't you.

♡ he has PTSD, depression, BPD, and probably more. be patient with him. he can sometimes moodswing or close himself off from you because he's scared he'll hurt you and may even intentionally push you away as a sort of mental self harm method. just give him time and be patient. he never wants to hurt you when he's like that, he's just scared.

♡ it's funny how we've gotten this far without mentioning miki that much. anyways! miki. steven still has her, still is very overprotective of her, and that does not change with you. of course he's mostly sure that miki can hold her own so he's more scared of how she might react to you, but she's perfectly fine about it. steven will often allow her to just wander on her own accord around the house, so you might have some Unintentional Miki Jumpscares, especially since she likes to follow you sometimes. going to the bathroom and then exiting? face first into colliding with miki's stomach. she's like a cat. she really likes you and is also very curious about you. steven will often allow you to take her with you if you go outside as a defensive method, even though you probably have your own pokemon. even if you don't want her to come with you she'll usually follow you outside like a dog who wants to go on a walk - or a fly - really badly. she'll also offer you random things she finds lying around like rocks or sticks. steven will often not be far behind either if you and miki are outside, since he's both very worried about you and miki to a pretty equal degree. he finds her attitude towards you very cute though, and is happy that she takes to you quite well.

♡ if you're affectionate with miki, steven will find it very cute. especially considering her whole... condition. which steven was worried about you seeing. but if you're fine with it then those worries calm down a lot. steven loves to talk about her as well - it's one of the few things you can ask him that actually will prompt him to say much more than a few sentences at a time. he will ramble about how wonderful and powerful she is and how him and her were undefeated champions of kanto... at least until the incident. miki and you are sort of the last things he has that can make him smile genuinely anymore and he loves both very much.

♡ he may talk to you, probably in one of his sort of unstable spiralling states, about the Incidents(tm) and how you should stay away from him and that he's a monster. he'll genuinely sort of break if you still show him affection after how much he tries to push you away in his unstable states. it does reassure him, but he's so confused as to why you're still even with him sometimes. all he can think of is... why would someone want a murderer like him?

♡ a lot of his skills wore down since he self-isolated for years and years. he does cook well though. just buy him groceries so not every dinner and lunch between you two is a microwave or oven meal and he'll cook for you. he's especially good at making dinners. type of dude to wear an apron with kiss the cook on it. his eating behaviors are very unhealthy ( he doesn't eat that much ) so doing this also sort of helps him get back into that. if you also have bad eating behaviors he'll try to help you out as well.

♡ fucking loves pokemon battling and being competitive, which has obviously taken a backseat since The Incident(s), but he'll be happy to help you with anything pokemon related, similarly to red. he's such a massive tryhard, or at least was, when he was still on his journey that he knows almost anything and everything about how to make your pokemon the strongest they can be - he was allegedly an undefeated champion after all. he'd happily battle with you, if uh, miki didn't have the high possibility of accidentally killing your own pokemon. and he released all of his Normal Pokemon. so. but he'll help you catch pokemon and will be happy with treating your pokemon like his own as well. he just hopes they'll all get along with miki...

♡ similarly, if you have any plans to do the gym challenge in kanto, he'll raise an eyebrow in intrigue and help you but will give you a warning of "It's been a couple years, so things might not be the same, but from what I remember..." and will straight up tell you all of their teams and everything he remembers abt each gym battle. those days were very memorable and happy for him so he remembers each triumphant victory him and miki had against each gym leader and elite four member happily.

♡ if you become the champion - of either kanto or a different region entirely, or were already - it would make things a little complicated, considering most people treating champions like celebrities and steven did Not want anybody to know you were dating him nor wanted the publicity, as it'd cause complications probably. but he'd be happy for you. it'd be very ironic though... a champion dating an ex champion... he is attracted to people who were strong though, and you were no doubt strong if you became a champion.

♡ reaaallly loves hugging you. especially backhugs. he likes surprising you with a backhug, since he's honestly pretty good at sneaking around. thinks you getting scared is a little funny, admittedly, but he'll stop if asked. like red, he also loves being the big spoon and humming so you can sort of feel a vibration from his chest. very comforting and good to go to sleep to.

♡ he sort of just... follows you around wherever you go, really. doesn't have much else to do.

♡ a fact that many people forget is that steven is canonically a gamer for better or for worse. he has so many stocked-up consoles and games and i like to think he collects them too. due to this he will happily play games with you or watch you play them happily. he will try to impress you w how well he plays certain games bc he's a bit of a nerd. he also knows glitches in a lot of games he owns #lol

♡ i like to think that pokemon cards exist in universe and he probably also just collects those. he has every charizard card to date. don't ask him how he got those, he'll just give you a Look and refuse to answer ( either paid way too much or stole them or something ).

♡ continuing the whole collecting thing he has all of his trophies and badges and adjacent stuff lined up somewhere near his bed. will happily brag to you about how he got each one in hopes to impress you, and also to reminisce on the better times. He also probably has a charizard plushie or two.

♡ if you wanna style his hair he'll allow you. feel absolutely free. he really doesn't do much with it other than lazily wash it nowadays anyways, so he doesn't mind. he likes the sensation of your hands in his hair as well... it's comforting. just try not to tug or yank his hair.

♡ he's a little overprotective and he will often try to keep you in his home. he's worried about losing you if you go outside, and he isn't too willing to follow considering his urban legend reputation within kanto. things like asking you to stay just a few more days, but he'll always say that when you mention needing to leave. if you're persistent enough, he'll let you go, but he's just worried... and very clingy. be sure to at least send him messages ( if he even has a phone ), if you intend to be gone for longer than a day.

♡ if you have a pokemon team, which, you probably do, he'll be happy to learn about and get along with each and any of them. as long as they get along with miki or are at least willing to, he's fine with them.

♡ overall very depressed man but he's also a big teddybear and loves you sooo much he just isn't good at expressing it. 10/10 ( <- clearly biased )

Glitchy Red

♡ glitchy, on the other hand from red, is Very fucking talkative. red and glitchy are like... the opposite of eachother which i find very funny. not entirely, of course they share similarities due to being generally the same person, but being trapped in a game so long made him desperate for any sort of touch, any sort of contact, any sort of socialization of ANY kind. which is why he's talkative - he may stumble over his own words or trip up on them since he's only used to speaking through textboxes, which embarrasses him. don't comment on it or he'll probably just not talk for the rest of the day.

♡ sometimes if you touch him you'll get that static shock . he'll apologize a lot if he ever does this because it's usually unintentional and just a thing that can Happen due to his whole... state. happens more often when he's upset, happens less when he isn't.

♡ his glitches seem to stutter to a sort of rhythm sometimes. if you're observant enough, these usually give away his current emotional state. he gets glitchier the more upset he is, obviously, and he gets more stable the more happy he is. so around you... he's usually pretty stable.

♡ really likes holding your hand. it assures to him that yes, you are real... and you are with him. any form of contact makes him happy, but holding his hand is just simple and nice and it grounds him.

♡ if this isn't in the pokemon universe, then i'd like to think you can play pokemon games around him and he'll just commentate on it and won't be too bitter as long as modern red doesn't show up. he probably unironically likes a lot of the pokemon he's never seen, but will just go like. "tch. whatever. pikachu's better." under his breath, since he never wants to admit he likes anything pokemon related past certain gens. he's that type of dude who'd get so unnaturally angry about dexit.

♡ he's also very judgemental about the way you play games, especially pokemon lol. he's a fucking backseat gamer oh my god. he's honestly not that actually genuine abt his comments hes just very used to bitching abt the way ppl play games due to Being in one for so long. he did it to annoy people and make them stop playing and it worked. if you get a little angry at him about this he'll notice and mumble an apology.

♡ like steven, he'll just follow you around and hang around you for most of the day. he legitimately doesn't have anything else to do, so.

♡ he doesn't need to sleep or eat, but he can still feel the sensations of taste and touch and he fucking loves finally having self-agency and the ability to feel these things. everything in his own world became extremely dull, even the pain after a point. plus he never ate food in there, so yk. due to this will eat a lot of food and will touch anything he can, intaking their textures.

♡ has autism, probably ptsd, misophonia ( especially with fucked up game noises they'll make him go into a state of pretty raw anger ), bpd, and prob more.

♡ loooves cats and cat pokemon and anything adjacent and im definitely not taking this headcanon from like several artists. really likes litten and skitty, particularly.

♡ if you let him, he loves to just touch you all over. just like. rub your cheeks. pat your head. run his hands through your hair. he's so unused to feeling any of this that he can get absolutely lost in feeling how ... real you are.

♡ he's the type of guy to chug cans of monster and then wonder why his bodys reacting poorly, glitching all over the fucking place as he has a sugarrush like response to it. he didn't even know that could Happen as a bodily response so he's just so panicky when he intakes too much sugar or caffeine until you explain that to him LMAO

♡ he'll take up like several hobbies and then drop most of them out of impatience and disinterest, but he'll try almost anything once. he does like idly cooking or cleaning since they're useful to the both of you.

♡ loves to go outside and explore. it's the red in him. if you allow him to he loves to just take your hand and walk around wherever you live. if you get tired, he'll carry you, since he doesn't really get tired - if he does, not as quickly as you do for certain. people may give him odd looks, but he could care less.

♡ his kisses feel like electricity but in the best way

♡ on a related note, kiss him all over. he'll get so flustered and he'll stutter out cute little embarrassed noises and then he'll just pull his cap over his face to hide his expression a little.

♡ ... admittedly, he's like the only guy on this list who prefers to be the little spoon, but he'll default to the big spoon just because he likes to make you happy. but the second you have your arms around his body he'll never want you to let go. he's insanely touchstarved. he's like a cat that constantly is rubbing against your leg for attention after this. please hug him throughout all times of day.

♡ despite being so talkative theres some days where he just doesn't feel like saying too much. mostly because he's tired, in any sense of the word, or overthinking or something. just be patient and loving with him.

♡ it's actually pretty easy to make him flustered or to make him smile. give him any form of compliment, praise, or touch, and his face will be red ( pun intended, again ) and he'll be smiling so large. it's really cute.

♡ his hair is sharp to the touch if he's unstable and stressed, but if he isn't it's very fluffy. run your hands through his hair and take his cap off and he'll fall asleep so quickly.

♡ speaking of, like red, since theyre... yk the same person for the most part, he also snores. it just has a sort of glitchy tone to it like his voice does. it is comforting though, and he snores a lot louder than regular red.

♡ wouldn't it be funny if he could enter your dreams while you sleep too like at the end of the og pokepasta. if you have a nightmare he just notices somehow and beats the nightmare to death and just cuddles you and helps you feel better. either that or he just gets so lonely that he just visits you in your dreams sometimes to talk to your consciousness. he probably has a lot of sleepless nights where he'll just enter your dreams to have something to do.

♡ overall, very easily embarrassed and flustered touchstarved boyfriend. he's a little moody but he's very cute. 10/10. i am never ranking one of these mfs under 10/10 because im biased.

#wispy writes #pokepasta #pokemon #strangled red x reader #glitchy red x reader #red x reader #steven x reader #steven strangled red #how the fuck do people tag these im going insane #THEY ALL HAVE RED AS A MAIN COLOR FOR THEIR NAMES .. pokemon champions when u ask them their favorite color #Partially bc yk red and Glitchy Red are the same person. But also stevens there. #ANYWAYS THANK YOU I HOPE THIS SUFFICES!!!

[butchdykekondraki]

everytime konnys alcohol addiction is ignored another angel fucking dies btw

#hold on. i need to be insane in the tags #LET HER BE FUCKED UP LET HER HAVE AN ADDICTION #OH MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE #i do not see what the big fucking issue is with portraying her addiction. #its a canonical aspect of her. its shown repeatedly. dare i say its just as canon as clefs alcohol addiction. #LET HER BE FUCKED UP!!!!!! YOU NEED TO LET HER BE FUCKED UP. #shes a grown fucking man with a job that is rotting her from the inside out. of course shes not going to heal in a way that is appealing. #ALSO. ALSO! #not to even fucking add how goddamn interesting it could be to look at from an outside and inside perspective #please. please im begging you. give her back her fucking addiction. or else im going to do something Drastic.

[macroglossus]

being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED

#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right????? #this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh. #when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like #two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that #time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore #is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and #when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up #and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not #that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on #listening. if that makes sense #IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive #like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!! #idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that #im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy. #epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍

[hella1975]

ur making it pretty hard to not be curious about aftg like what is going on can you infodump ur worst to me

so basically it's about a guy called neil who's not actually called neil bc turns out he's the son of a HIGHLY abusive mafia hitman and him and his mother have been running from this guy for years which ofc means changes in identity and a SHIT ton of issues ranging from good old fashioned paranoia to lighting cigarettes not to smoke them but to let them burn down bc the smell reminds you of your mother's burning corpse. but neil is obsessed and i mean OBSESSED with this made up sport called exy which is like lacrosse but with the violence of ice hockey and he joins a pro-team despite aforementioned ABUSIVE MAFIA DAD AFTER HIM and guess what! the guy who signed him is called kevin and his ex-team are affiliated with the mafia too! including neil's dad! neil just screwed himself over big time! but who cares when you have exy! enter: andrew minyard. andrew is a blonde, 5ft, ex-juvie, under-court-surveillance-for-grevious-bodily-harm goalkeeper currently working unofficially as kevin's bodyguard and, while we never get an actual diagnosis bc god forbid we handle mental health properly in this thing, it's implied that he has some kind of psychosis and, as part of his plea bargain, is legally obgligated to take incredibly mood-altering medication that makes him manic in exchange for being allowed to stay on the team (aka with kevin who he's VERY possessive of), done entirely for the wellbeing of those around him and effectively against andrew's will. does he stick to that deal? fuck no! but it doesn't stop there! andrew proceeds to spend the entire book being as violent and unpredictable and generally cunty as possible in order to figure out What Neil's Deal Is bc neil is capital S Shifty and andrew is convinced he's from kevin's old mafia cult team trying to hurt him. we spend an entire book watching the three of them wrestle between neil's paranoia, andrew's protectiveness and kevin's desire to Please Can We Just Play Exy. there are some keys involved. someone dies. there are two more books. inexplicably two of the characters can speak fluent german purely from high school classes.

#aftg spoilers #just for book 1 but still BIG spoilers lmao #ill also tag this as: #hella reads aftg #bc i told people to block that tag if they didn't want spoilers so it's more likely to be effective #but yeah! arent you so glad you asked gloomy! this is the abridged version! #i genuinely havent even mentioned more of the insane parts bc i couldnt even explain if i wanted to #also i know i touched on andrew's meds here but i actually do have Views on all that and i was NOT getting into that here lmao #also just andrew's mental health as a whole. i could write essays #ask #aftg #the foxhole court spoilers #tfc spoilers #tfc #rereading this is making me laugh bc i come across as such an andrew-anti #as if he hasn't been one of my all time fave characters for six entire fucking years like do you know how hard that is and yet he's there #so just to clarify i am mad at a lot of the things andrew does but im also mad about the court-mandated-medication #and every therapist that gave him some shitty diagnosis and also nora for going down the 'violent psychopath' trope #andrew is a victim of his own books i would give my life for him <3

[suffarustuffaru]

Just wanted to say thank you for the ottosuba posting you've done lately. The English speaking fandom is absolutely barren with Otto content, let alone ottosuba content. So to have someone as awesome about it as you post via Tumblr posts, fanfic, fanart, etc. on a good(-ish) website like Tumblr is like finding a diamond in the rough. Anyhow, looking forward to any future ottosuba content from you!

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

anon you made my day fr these are very high compliments T^T <3 i appreciate it a lot pfft a part of me is always like "I CANT REVEAL HOW MUCH MY BRAIN IS ROTTING OVER THESE CHARACTERS..." bc i get a little embarassed a little shy bc what if i am posting the same things too much...??? but then i simultaneously go "lol my blog my rules anyway im gonna make a gazillion billion content *clicks post*" which is how all the otto and ottosuba content gets churned out alsdflj. especially bc - like you said - the english speaking fandom is a BARREN DESERT when it comes to otto and ottosuba content T^TT ive been thinking about it lately bc they seem to be a lot more popular in the japanese speaking fandom i think, but theres next to Nothing with the english speaking fandom :o interesting difference there.

but regardless :o yeah i keep making otto and ottosuba content bc i am in Desperate need of it... its a desert and i gotta feed myself too HAH theyve always been interesting to me but in the years ive been into rezero that Interest has skyrocketed bc of all the interesting developments pfft (and also the lack of english fancontent for them HAH). i just think theyre so underrated in the english fandom.... thank you for liking my stuff anon <3 :DD

#ask #also you made me remember that ive been otto(suba) posting in like so many mediums lajdfljsl #i ended up sneaking a bit of meta into these tags oops aljsdfljsf but. #also i just think otto and ottosubas feralness is super interesting and my taste in characters totally isnt predictable (i say this as a p #five shuake fan also. cries.) but also like. people in the english speaking side of the fandom dismiss otto a lot which is interesting to m #like its u know that typical fandom tendency to sometimes only see characters for how they look on the surface. and its also interesting b #ive also been seeing a few people like. almost kind of miss how toxic ottos being in arc 8??? and also ottos general. subaru obsession #things yeah. like why do people miss this stuff??? he literally says his reason for being / existence is to oppose subaru??? what sane #person does that lajdslfjsldfj what sane person is so ride or die theyd rather leave a whole country + their bffs daughter figure to die?? #what sane person manipulates all their friends in order to save them??? understandable motive but literally insane lajsdlfjsld #yeah so anyway im super curious on why english vs japanese fandom have different attitudes towards otto and ottosuba HAH #being an emilia otto AND astrea fan is so weird bc people are so kind with the astreas usually and then being an emilia fan means suffering #through all the sexism and then being an otto fan is just going “YOU GUYS WERE FOOLED BY HIS SOFT BOY AESTHETICS???” and begging people to #remember that he cares about subaru. but that goes for many emilia camp members treatment in fanon. #and also yeah being a fan of almost any character in this fandom is suffering i think alsjdfljsd #granted i was also fooled by the soft boy aesthetics but that was way back when okay. i know now. hes my silly fucked up little guy now HAH

[astranauticus]

todays orv mood: standing at the water dispenser under my dorm building waiting for my instant noodles to cook just pacing in circles and swearing

#orv liveblog #should i tag spoilers for like. ramble in tags?? #ok i'll do it just to be safe #orv spoilers #idk in case my webtoon only irl friend suddenly decides to log back into her tumblr after 3 years #context chapter 311/46th scenario #ok theres a lot going on here #first off 1863th round yjh is a character made to haunt me specifically so when the name hell of eternity came up wow i was feeling like #500 emotions at once and none of them were good #second i saw someone on lofter say today that most of the talking kdj and yjh do in this book is through fights and just #LIKE I JUST. cannot get over how our perspective of their relationship is just always being filtered through these two people #who are just fuckin INCAPABLE of TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS like NORMAL PEOPLE #like it drives me so insane that this book is so show dont tell by necessity bc kdj is a fucking moron so we just get these #insanity inducing details like yjh paying to extend his midday rendezvous with kdj for 3 years and just using it as a personal journal #and then you get past all the fuckin. the two of them beating the shit out of each other by way of communicating and its like #'i want to lock you up so you'll stop dying because im scared im not strong enough to be able to stop you and we cant lose you again' LIKE? #SIR WHAT??????? HELLO?????????????? #also the line that made me start pacing in circles around the water cooler while swearing in mandarin was specifically #'i couldn't be the protagonist. i couldn't save someone else' #says the DEMON KING OF SALVATION. like damn its 'sacrifice's will is a stigma that didn't really suit me' all over again #like i love that kdj has the nerve to be like 'of course i dont want to die' and yjh just absolutely does not buy it for a second #god. i want to hit him on the head with a brick.

[hexados-on-a-string]

spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.

#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me #its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying. #its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through #its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them #i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway #something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else #its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and #im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts #anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them #ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously #but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free. #i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me #i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me #idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst #they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much #i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT #also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon #who is also one of my favourite characters ever #and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool #im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but #i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus #anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially #i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy

[totentnz]

if johnny only sees what v sees, does that mean he cant see them? it does right? or does he see them the way they *think* they look like? does johnny see who v sees in the mirror? in photos?

#sammy says shit #listen i still dont fully describe to 'i only see what you see' #HOWEVER #if any of the above does apply imagine the first fucking time he sees them for real #aka happy au #does johnny ever comment on vs apperance? aside from the not my type comment #im thinking about things and this just crossed my mind #is johnnys pov just him in a world that doesnt see him? doesnt react to him? #ofc sometimes people stop to look in his direction but they arent looking at /him/ #in the beginning does he reply to questions directed at v bc he thinks that person is talking to him?? #MY GOD someone send help him going insane over this #been thinking about johnny having no autonomy #nobody to talk to besides v #and how v knows this and tries to give him said autonomy as best as they can #see: the sharing meals post my queue spat out earlier #anyway im raving in the tags again... old habits do die hard huh #also i do think there is a difference between what own body johnny sees compared to what engram johnny sees #(talking about what v looks like) #but if my above thoughts are true... GODDAMN the potential

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has. #the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

[fridayiminlcve]

if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything

#i looooove my city so much you guys like if i wasnt who i am (queer) rn i would be so fucking glad that i am in my current city but #i loooove art and history and fashion and stuff and this citymight be about second best for all that but its still soo crowded #people WILL judge no matter what you wear something cutesy and people dont shut up especially when ur 16 and tagging along with your mom to #the mall or something and everyone just stares and even among your classmates ive been complimented so many times #for my unique style or whatever (aka i have beaded shoelaces and wear lots of jewelery and absurd ass eyeliner) and theyre like oh #n******** is so fancy itni stylish bandi hai woh and its so attention grabbing but i dont want it to be a big deal !!! #i want to like 20 badges and wear insane makeup and dye my hair without calling much attention to myself!!! #of course i know that will change slowly as you go in to uni and meet ppl of your type instead of a bazaar market and youll pick ur own #friends who r like minded but considering this is india how many people can you truly find. #also my next two years are going to be spent in a college for jee and neet kids #you can wear what you want theres no dress code but you have to appear serious studious and simple if you want to be taken seriously #elle woods at harvard law type #i asked my mom to get an industrial & second lobe piercing and actual dyed hair and shes like turn twenty get into a good college then do #not bc she minds she allowed me to get my hair dyed at age 13 but to go in th college im going to there is SO SO much rigour #and if you dont show yourself as professional and shit they will keep you in lower effort self study classes instead of best of the best #i KNOW how difficult moving abroad is bc my family does not have that money i need to do it myself its so so expensive bc the money #itself has such a high value compared to here (you see americans cribbing abt 30$ hourly wage but here that is 2500inr) #2500 inr is as much as an expensive pair of jeans here. expensive clothes here r 30$ and in usa its 300$ . see the diffence #im changing topics so much but sometimes i do feel this place is suffocating #its a priviledge i have that i can even think about going abroad comapred to other indians but still #dp you get what i mean #and ik movies and all are very romanticised so it might not even be this way in western cities and just an idealisation but still #if things change around here then the entire question of going anywhere is out the window anyway #smalltown boy will byers moment #dni if you read all this and plan on replying unless ur a close mutual (close mutuals u know who u are) #also if someone says why would you want to go to usa uk paris when they colonised your country shut up <3 shut up very much <3

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

#yuu rambles #it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it #concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable #framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does #doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me #but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen #he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke #its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr #normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways #then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone #who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media. #paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol” #those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are #a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride #and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies #it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt #block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily #recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his #video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal #i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first #but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric #i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao #they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on #detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2 #im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary #made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror #and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good! #again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far #i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue... #theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

.

#still not over the insane george orwell post that got reblogged onto my dash yesterday #i unfollowed the person who reblogged it #because either A) theyre a tankie or B) their criticial thinking skills are sub-fucking-zero #like 1) the OP of that post was just copying Hakims awful video on Orwell #2) to read animal farm and come out of it with the interpretation that Orwell was saying that the animals and hence the proletariat in the #USSR were just innately unintelligent shows a reading comprehension so bad its not even like piss poor. its piss impoverished #3) if a post is like ''also look X said Y Bad Thing'' without providing any of the context as to where that quote comes from theyre likely #being deliberately mishonest. it is easy to take someone out if context to make it look like they were saying something they werent which is #exactly what the OP of that post was doing. they took one sentence of Orwells writing on the nazis and Hitler to make it look like Orwell #thought Hitler was a swell guy when actually Orwells writing was about the dangers of charismatic tyrants like Hitler and their rhetoric #the entire thing was about how Hitler was able to amass such power and popularity and use that to his advantage #not every despot is so easy to pick out as dangerous or so easy to detest. hitler was hardly the first charismatic tyrant in history #OP also conveniently left out the fact that like the next sentence is orwell being like yeah no i would fucking kill this man which wow #thats a glaring omission. imagine if people decided to look up what OP was refetencing to verify irs veracity #4) OP does not mention that Orwell fought in La Guerra Civil alongside communists and socialists and anarchists etc. #he fought against the nationalists. he took a bullet to the neck during the fight. he was very much against francisco franco and his fascist #regime who were allied with Hitler and the Nazis #mentioning orwells participation in the spanish civil war really undercuts any of those arguments #5) you know who was actually allied with Hitler and Nazi Germany? STALIN #at the beginning of WWII the soviet union and nazi germany were in alliance. stalin and hitler did not have fundamental ideological #differences. if hitler had not betrayed stalin the soviet union would not have joined the allied powers #your uwu anti-fascist communist idol joseph fucking stalin was joseph fucking stalin. he was a fascist dictator whose actions deliberately #caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. he like vladimir lenin before him did not care for the ideals of marx #marxism leninism is a meaningless political ideology #the soviet union was not a communist paradise. neither stalin not lenin cared about the proletariat #i said this in my tag ramble yesterday but if you want to see a leader who actually followed marxist ideals go look up thomas sankara #im just rambling in the tags today to get out the lingering frustration i have

[nspolaris]

read the sunshine court and have never been more impatient in needing a second book my god

#tsc #tsc spoilers #tagging bc im talking in the tags but holy fuck im ngl i came into the book as a jerejean shipper but now im shipping him with EVERYONE #him and renee were so sweet god i cant #him taking her photo and thinking about rainbows 😭 #but also excited for my man Jeremy bc he's got layersTM like an onion #need to know why he doesn't like his family and if he ever confides in Jean to convince Jean to confide in him #but also them oggling each other was hilarious #jean said his name once and had jeremy kicking his feet and twirling his hear #jean's braim shutting off whenever jeremy is shirtless avdhdj #need them to get together but i love Jean and his story and im so glad i reread aftg before reading this book #obsessed with jerejean as individuals and i love how much Jean appreciates the othrler Trojans #GAAAAH #also heart was in my ass when Grayson attacked Jean and thank god my boy neil sent out a hit on that fucker #also people realizing neil looks insane to other people like um yes...literally everytime he opens his mouth even in his POV #he says some scary shit bro 💀 #adding more tags bc i forgot to talk about kevin but i also can't get over their angst its just so good #their time together at evermore and jean teaching him french only for it to be the used against him by accident #they're too fucked up to ever really be friends again but they've both got their own support systems now #thinking about them meeting to do the interview ... chewing on glass #i have to go ravage ao3 now

[punkcherries]

sonic prime so cool ............

#cherryz txt #me shaking netflix WHERES the rest of it!!!!!!!!! (in due time. hopefully.) #i hate u streaming services and ur power to kill the things i love.................... #sonic #sonic prime spoilers #<- in the following tags. be wary . #sonic and shadows interactions have been so delightful . i wish sega let shadow have friends and like Feelings #sonics writing overall has been very good . very people-focused trying to save everyone he can but just #very ahead of himself and how that lack of forethought causes so many of the conflicts for him #very inline for yknow . fastest hedgehog around. #REALLY enjoy seeing him look like a sad wet puppy when shit goes to fuck . boy just wants to go home!!!!!!!!! #i do wonder if something insane will happen if all the shatterversions of characters congregate #like . we didnt See thorn interact directly with rusty or black rose. just that the latter 2 saw her and were like Woah................... #also . i love u nine . baby son . he wanted to show sonic his lil grim home so bad and then sonic wasnt into his idea and im SADDD #HE HAD LIL PALM TREES!!!!!!!!! WAHH............. #the way nine talks about what might happen to him after the prism is in 1 piece in ghost hill makes me wonder also #the shatterspaces are implied to essentially be the product of original green hill being torn to bits . #so one would assume thats true for the characters in them yea? so does nine think he might get 'absorbed' into og tails? #theres always been a vibe to me that all the shatterversions of the cast are essentially like . distinct aspects of their whole characters #in some way anyhow . like a pirate for knuckles makes sense as a kind of manifestation of his focus on like #defending the master emerald . in a world Without the master emerald hes essentially crazy for any replacement he can get? #so its interesting to think that nine could in a similar vein be like tails' resentment of being Just a wingman #and the frustration of being picked on as a babby . and how that might tie into a feeling of like #'i would be nothing without sonic' bcus sonic was the one to stand up for him back then right? #INTERESTING. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk if any of tihs holds any water im just brain vomitting at this point but WAHHH #obviously all the shatterversions are and wish to be seen as their own individual people but like. NARRATIVELY speaking #u know?????? u understand. ive decided this for u the person reading this You Understand.

[0809sysblings]

idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref

#milgran't #type 1 momence #btw as a prefacw this is not directed at anyone here. this is just. a thing. that is everywhere. #ok. anyway. #the....... Exotification of DID/OSDD-1... is always so annoying. #and like. i get it. i understand. its probably a difficult thing for many ppl to actually comprehend as a real human experience #which brings me to the main point of this Pussy-Rant (ranting in tags bc im a pussy) #i think. the main reasom its So Exotified. is. '''''''MPD'''''''' #serioisky that name has done. so much fucking damage its insane. absolute wack shit #anyway yeah. like. the concept of it being Multiple People In One Body/Brain... when like... that's.. not really whats going on.. #like if youre a system and that's how you understand your system to be. then power to you. i dont care do literally whatever #its just. i think CDDs would be a LOT easier for people to understand if-- #--it was not looked at as the Multiple People Disorder. but instead as the Fucking Extreme Compartmentalization Disorder #idk its just annoying seein ppl (who are probably very well meaning!) talk about the disorder i experience as if its bizarre and fantastical #~look wooooowwww this is something that can happen to the brain due to The Most Unreal And Most Traumatic Events!! crazy right?~ #i am going to get the Evil Alter out here so he can beat you to death. #like yeah its fucking. sad and fucked up what has to happen to develop a CDD. and that should be acknowledged. #and many systems Have had to go through experiences that a lot of ppl can only fathom as being able to happen in fiction. #but.... its just so isolating and makes me feel Capital C Crazy 🥴 #dear lord ive just been so irritable and frustrated lately... obligatory apologies. #ah. i think i suddenly figured out why this in particular triggers me so much. #god damn it it's always the fucking trauma huh! #<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said-- #--''this poor soul went through something so tragic! how awful to think that something that serious could happen to just a little kid!'' #its the ''hey can you stop treating me as something helpless that needs to be fixed and just treat me like A Fucking Person'' feelings #but see this disorder is just so beautiful because in a week i may be wanting ppl to see me as a suffering freak who needs to be fixed #or hell even fucking tomorrow. who knows not me #.. ok im actually genuinely afraid talkimg about this is going to lead to her gettinf triggered out KDJSNKDJSNJD so im gonna. stop.

[jewishfalin]

Whats with people and comparing people with foot/leg disabilities to birds

#why do i have the same trauma as fucking oswald cobblepot. fuckin society ig #is this a common thing or am i going insane does anyone else relate #im gonna casually drop lore abt myself in tags again might delete later anyways #bc i remember people especially family unfortunately calling me a duck/ugly duckling cuz of how i walk and bc my feet r shaped funny #and now whenever im walkin and my feet make The Noise i get the horror flashes 😔 man this sucks #when u find a fictional character u relate to disability wise but hes fuckin evil. oh well #birdie chirping #NAUR I JUST REMEMBERED im p sure i got conpared to happy feet too the fuckin baby penguin #welp . guess I'll kin #anyways im reclaiming by naming myself birdie now. yes im a bird and im the cutest