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indigodawns · 2 years

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hii!! did it take me a long time to get used to? to get used to thinking of myself as autistic? if that's what you meant damn it's a hard one!

as i didn't grow up thinking of myself as anything but average/shy/depressed/lonely i completely forget about it when i'm all by myself in my bedroom or out there doing my thing i'm just being me. but as soon as i do something unusual/interact with unusual people, it's like, right, i am not really like you huh.

after the diagnosis i did some worshops for social cues and anxiety that truly helped me so much and so now i know what my limits are and where/when i can or can't push through. so for the part of getting used to knowing how i function, i think it's a never ending process but it's felt truly liberating and i think it was quite quick.

oh! something that did not change for the best is that i always wanted to have kids but now i keep wondering if i'm even physically and mentally capable of taking care of a child? of thinking i might be neglectful without wanting to? which i only wonder about because of the diagnosis? it's the only thing for which i wish i never had the diagnosis

i think if you accept that kind of diagnosis as an adult, you have to grieve the person you grew up thinking you were and would be. a diagnosis can be eye opening or it can be the end of the world for some. in the workshops i went to, i met people who were angry and frustrates because they couldn't yet accept themselves.

if you don't feel that it's truly right, i think that's okay. you can take knowledge and whatever else from it that can help you in your everyday life and just not think too hard about it?

i hope i made sense and answered your question eline!

thank you so so much for this open and elaborate answer, i appreciate it so much!!!

that was exactly what i meant, and "i didn't grow up thinking of myself as anything but average/shy/depressed/lonely" made me [handshake emoji] bc i feel exactly the same. and "unusual people" fmgnfmng like neurotypicals? :') (again, mood). also those workshops sound so nice, i'm so glad they helped and felt liberating and also makes sense about it being a neverending process!

and shit im sorry the diagnosis made you doubt that, that must be a hard one. for what it's worth, i couldn't imagine one being neglectful without wanting to be, and there must be (might be?) ways to deal with the sensory stress that comes with children. if that's the part you're worried about? (though obviously you don't have to elaborate on that to me!) as for everything else, i keep seeing gentle parenting tiktoks and that seems like a way of communicating that is really straightforward and honest (and i've also seen parents be like "alright, i need a bit of alone time, please give me an hour" etc) buuuuuuut i'm saying a bunch of things without knowing what exactly it is that made you feel that way, and what i want to say is that i can imagine the diagnosis made you question this and im touched you felt okay sharing that particular worry with me and that i hope you find a "satisfying" answer for yourself to this (and then also, i feel you, especially the taking care of part freaks me out bc i often just don't have energy to be there emotionally or physically for people and i wouldn't want to put that on any potential kids)

and ahhhh i love what you said about grieving, i've been thinking about that a lot. it must be really hard for those people who can't accept it (yet), and it sucks that with autism there's just so much stigma around it

and ahh, not thinking too hard about it (anything) is a tricky one :') you're absolutely right of course, but i'm also very much someone who wants to Know (Right Now), like i couldn't STAND not being certain of my sexual orientation nmgnfmgnfmgn i like categorising myself (rip, i know...) but i will let this idea sink in and try to be a bit ~looser with it all (which my therapist helped with too! she was very good about going through the whole diagnostic report with me bc i'd taken notes on stuff i thought was either incorrect or needed elaborating dfmndjfhdjfh and she also emphasised we can just start here and i can read up on things and see where we land)

all this to say, thank you so much!! this has helped a lot and i found myself really looking forward to and rereading your messages <3

#<333 #asks

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restapesta · 3 years

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😈👀

"I dare you to go a day without touching Ian," Sandy says as seriously as she can, watching as Mickey's face slightly falters from that initial cocky smirk. It's her turn now to wide mockingly.

"I fucking dare you."

It isn't as if Mickey can say no in front of all the Milkoviches. He might be a fag, but he's most certainly not a pussy, as far as Sandy knows. And he had gone into the whole Truth or Dare game with a grin on his face worthy only for a winner. Sandy was about to knock him down a couple of notches.

She smiles around the rim of her beer bottle, watching as Mickey's eyebrows go through all five stages of grief. He eyes their cousins around the table, then lands on her, shooting her the nastiest of glares.

His simple reply is, "No."

There are a couple of different reactions, all ranging from the expected oohs and pussy, to who the fuck is Ian, but Sandy only really cares about her own.

"Oh, I'm not done," She says, her eyes moving ever so slowly around the room. "He can't know about it."

Mickey's jaw was short of dropping. He acted as if she'd asked him to make out with their third trans cousin, Dolores.

"C'mon Mick, it's not that big of a deal. You two can keep it in your pants for a fucking day, right?"

Mickey literally seems as if he's about to say no, the most surprised look on his face Sandy had ever witnessed. She really fucked him up with this one.

Serves him fucking right for teasing her about Debbie on their way to the house. And to his apartment. And always.

There is absolutely no way Mickey is going to say yes—and yet Sandy knows that he will. That his pride will overpower any sense of reason for his one true love, that weird ginger.

Oh, how she wishes it was the same for her and Debbie—but she's away with some other chick now, according to Mickey, fucking up everybody's life, plus her own.

She can't be thinking about any of that, though. Not now, as she's got Mickey backed up in a corner.

"Come on, Mick; you don't wanna disappoint us now, do you? You're not too...chicken, are you?"

Sandy smiles to herself. Mickey will not say no now. Not a fucking chance.

Just as cousin Rango asks who the fuck Ian is for the fifth time in a row, and just as Iggy hands Mickey another shot glass, the said man relents.

"Fine. I'll do your stupid fucking dare."

He tips the vodka back down his throat.

---

The twenty-four hours, per agreement, start at noon, and Sandy would be with the two at all times to make sure Mickey does his due diligence.

She thought it was going to be fun—getting Mickey back for constantly teasing her about Debbie and for babbling on and on about his superb love life—she was wrong.

She was so, so wrong.

Because, instead of Ian getting mad or exasperated, or... Fucking something—he's... He's just...

He's just really fucking horny.

Sandy doesn't even fucking know how that shit happened. How everything went so fucking sideways.

She expected to watch some drama unfold; to be witness of that angry Ian that Mickey said always got his engine running, as disgusting as that was to know. Instead...

Instead, there was this.

"Playing hard to get, huh, Mr. Gallagher?"

Sandy watches as Ian tries to grab onto Mickey's ass and Mickey—with obviously all the strength he could muster within himself—pulls away out of reach.

"Sorry, Mr. Milkovich. You're really gonna have to earn it."

That little weasel—

No.

No; she could she still fucking play fun with this. They wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. She'd be able to see Ian's face crumble as Mickey tells him to sleep on the couch or that he won't be home for the night, and—

"I really like this foreplay, you know? The whole...spending time away before the ultimate thing...like before our wedding."

Ian grins widely, lips nearing Mickey's neck, yet not touching it. Mickey shudders.

He fucking shudders.

Sandy can't believe her eyes.

This is fucking foreplay. For both of them.

They're both fucking enjoying this.

She gives up completely when Ian starts whispering all the things he'll do to him when he earns the prize.

The images of gay sex will never leave her mind. She thought she was resilient.

Nobody's resilient enough for that.

"Fine," Sandy cuts Ian off as he explains an upcoming blowjob I'm vivid detail by exclaiming. "You fucking win!"

When she storms out in anger out of their apartment, she can't even hear the faint, "got her" that follows.

Those bastard played her and she doesn't even fucking know it.

As if Ian and Mickey keep secrets.

They're always horny, though.

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katara0524 · 3 years

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Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

#neo twewy #ntwewy #neo twewy spoilers #ntwewy spoilers #twewy #neo: the world ends with you #the world ends with you #twewy spoilers #twewy rindo #rindo kanade #twewy fret #tosai furesawa #twewy sho #sho minamimoto #long post #also shameless Discord plug lmaooo #kat plays neo twewy

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horansqueen · 4 years

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You & Me : chapter 21

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: thank you for the comments and notes to those who still send them! it means a lot to me. i hope this chapter isnt disappointing!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : MAJOR SPOILERS! i even added one that i got for AM Conversations lol so yep! keep sending them! the more i get, the longer this story will be lol!

Chapter 21 : His chapter

NIALL

The way we had made love kept playing over and over in my head but what I was really obsessed with was how she looked, wearing only my shirt (not even panties), sitting in the couch as she ate the meal I had prepared. She had almost choked on the rice when something funny happened in the movie we were watching and I never really noticed how endearing it was... how adorable she was. Now that we had had sex a few times, I could see a bit clearer. I was still horny for her and was ready to go whenever she wanted to, but I could also realize the little things I had missed. The way her nose raised up when I teased her about her clumsiness, the way her face lighted up when she was excited (she would even sometimes make a few small jumps), the way she bit her bottom lip when she was trying not to laugh, and even the messy state her hair was in when she'd wake up in the morning. I could make a list of all the things she did that I adored and sometimes, I spent half an hour actually listing her cute behaviors in my head.

I knew she was busy these days and I didn't want to bother her but I couldn't help but sent her a few text messages through the days. She didn't seem to bother, she even answered me quite quickly, but on friday, she replied with a message that sort of got to me.

'Did you ever have a talk with Louis about the argument you two had?'

In fact, we had not and I knew that since a few days had passed, we were both calm now and could have a discussion without risking to jump at each other's throat. It was not like me to be violent anyway but Louis knew me well and he knew exactly on which button to press to anger me. I sent him a quick text message, inviting him over and got up to check if I had enough beer left for the night. My phone beeped and I chuckled at his answer that consisted of a smiley emoji showing his teeth and the words 'On my way' written with a few exclamation points.

I quickly sent Olivia a message to tell her about it and then licked my lips before pressing them together and typing something else.

'I miss you, petal, send a selfie.'

I waited about a minute and smiled when I saw the picture of her doing a pouty face with El and Julie doing the same behind her and I realized that Louis was either stuck with the 3 girls and was glad to escape to come to my place, or he was alone by himself at his house and I was saving him from boredom. Either way, it made me laugh and I hesitated but decided to send her an other message.

'Love that selfie but when you have time, you should send me an other kind of selfie 😏'

'😂😂😂 Perv!'

I laughed and put my phone away before rummaging through my pantry to find chips and candies and brought everything to the living room along with beers before the doorbell rang. I breathed in and walked up to it, opening it slowly only to see one of my best friends waiting for me on the other side. He shook his eyebrows and the left corner of his lips curled into an amused smile.

"Hey Neil." he let out, making me smile too. "Thanks for inviting me. Livi said I should bring you this."

He moved his hand up and I noticed he was holding two bottles, one of vodka and one of jack daniels, in-between his fingers. I chuckled and moved away to let him in, following him to the living room. He put the bottles on the coffee table and turned to me before we hugged each other.

"I'm sorry Niall, I should have told you."

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been so pissed about it."

We pulled away and Louis raised his eyebrows before rushing to the kitchen and coming back with two glasses. He poured vodka in both and handed me one before clinking his against mine.

"To neverending friendship." he let out, making me smile. "Nothing can break this bond yea?"

I smiled and nodded, licking my lips. "Yea."

We sat together and he opened a beer. I stared at him as he dropped the cap on the coffee table and leaned against the couch before turning to look at me. I didn't know if he was waiting for me to say something but I just grabbed my beer too and took a sip.

"I know I shouldn't have had sex with your ex girlfriend, Niall. " he pointed out after a while. "I just... we became very close, and it's the only way we found not to throw ourselves at random people in bars and shit. I mean I love my son more than anything in the world, but that wasn't planned and I didn't want something like that to happen again. I mean it was a baby, and it was good news, but it could have been something bad, you know?"

It didn't make much sense to me but I kept quiet, curious to hear all he had to say about that.

"It really just happened. The first time we did it she was... so sad. I had just learned that I was going to be a dad, and we both didn't know how to cope with that."

"Who had the idea?" I asked, surprised that those words even came out of my mouth and regretting them right after. I wanted to know but at the same time, i didn't.

Louis sighed but kept looking in my eyes. "Hers, I guess." he shrugged. "But also not really. It's complicated. She proposed it, changed her mind, and I insisted. She said It was the best way to stop hurting for a few hours and honestly Niall, she was right. Every time we needed to tone down the pain in the next few months, that's how we did it. It was a bad way to handle it I mean, we went to therapy later and the more we healed, the less we fucked."

Quickly, I swallowed my beer, emptying it and putting it a bit roughly on the coffee table before grabbing the glass and pouring myself more vodka. I could feel Louis' eyes on me as I took a long sip of it and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Niall."

"I just can't believe you choked my ex girlfriend." I pointed out in a low tone. "You called her names. You made her moan and cum. But the worst of all, Louis, is that you became so close to her that you guys can just look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking."

I didn't say more but I knew that it also meant that in bed, he knew exactly what she liked. He knew exactly how to turn her on, how to touch her to give her pleasure, how to make her shake beneath him. He had seen her in a vulnerable state that I wished I was the only one who saw. I wanted to be the only one to read her that way, whether it was sexually or romantically.

"You're her best friend now and I'm not." I mumbled. "I'm nothing."

I swallowed the rest of my glass, feeling suddenly my whole body on fire but I didn't know if it was because of anger or because of the alcohol. Perhaps, a bit of both.

"I won't lie to you, Niall. She's my best friend. She's my other half." he shook his head. "But it's just friendship. It means a lot, but we don't have romantic love for each other. The special connection we have is all about friendship. A deep one alright, but still."

"You don't get it." I scoffed, looking down at my glass as I felt myself get slightly dizzy. "She used to have that connection with me."

I felt Louis move on the couch and he got closer, still holding his glass but he waited until I looked up in his eyes to talk.

"No, what you had was stronger than that. The connection you two had, Niall, was stronger than what me and her have. And you're the one who broke it. It'll come back, I can feel it. But you're gonna have to work for it. She was hurt, and even if I know she loves you, she's so scared."

He took a pause as I let the words he spoke sink in.

"I don't think you realize what happened after you broke up with her, Niall. She was broken. She was like a zombie, numb and lost. She lost her boyfriend and her best friend at the same time. The person she loves the most in the world. You're still that person so... fight. And don't hurt her again because I swear I'm going to kill you."

"Did she date anyone else?"

Louis sighed and finished his beer before filling our glasses again. Waiting for his answers every single time I asked a question was driving me crazy.

"Yea, some girl she met I can't remember where." he shrugged. "It was not serious because we didn't..." he stopped himself and looked up in my eyes. "We didn't stop having sex while she was with her. I mean I'm not even sure they were official, I never asked and she didn't want to talk about it."

"So she never cheated on Dylan with you." I pointed out, suddenly a bit stressed.

"No. And I never cheated on El. With anyone. You know me." he let out firmly. "She cheated on him with you though, didn't she."

"I guess. From what I understand, he knows or something. I just don't know what to do to make her choose me. I've tried telling her how I felt and I made her many promises, but she doesn't trust me, so I'm getting drunk tonight trying not to think too much of my ex girlfriend riding you and moaning your name, or about her getting married to an other famous prick."

"Who's the prick? You or me?"

I smiled and chuckled low. "Both."

I thought he'd throw something at me but he just laughed and shook his head.

"Liv has her secrets but I feel like you have yours, too." Louis let out as we drank our third glass. "You two are gonna have to talk to each other before anything can be official between you."

I groaned. "Talking is all we do. I told her so many things I thought I'd never have the guts, or the chance to tell her. I don't know if she can handle finding out about who I was when she was not around."

"She can." he argued. "Besides, it must not have been that bad since nothing appeared online."

I chuckled. "I'm normally quite good at being private, so don't be so sure."

"I'm sure it's nothing that can't be forgiven. I mean she slept with your best mate and you forgave her, so." he laughed, making me groan again and grimace.

I heard my phone beep again and grabbed it only to smile when I saw her name on the screen. I didn't know why everything that was linked to her made me happy but I knew I was a bit tipsy anyway. I quickly lost my smile when I saw the picture she sent me and my jaw dropped.

'For your eyes only 😉' was written right under a picture of her.

"Jesus Christ."

My eyes roamed on her body and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. She was naked in front of the mirror and her free hand was hiding her pussy. I wanted her so bad that I had to reach for my cock to adjust myself, almost forgetting that Louis was there with me. I thought about touching her and groaned low until Louis hit my knee with his.

"You're fucking drooling, what is it?"

With difficulty, I took my eyes off of my phone and looked up at my friend who had an amused smile on the lips. I turned the screen off and cleared my throat, grabbing my glass and swallowing what was left in it as Louis started laughing.

"It's Olivia isn't it?" he asked, his smile growing. "What did she say? No wait, did she send you a picture? She's supposed to be with my girlfriend right now!"

"Well trust me, your girlfriend is not on the picture. She was not even in the same room."

"No fucking way, she sent you a nude!"

I opened my lips to answer something cheeky but was cut by the sound of my phone again, feeling my heart jump in my chest at the thought of her messaging me but I frowned when I saw who it was coming from and made a small grimace. I should have blocked Heidi's number but I normally don't do that because I'm not a bitter person. Still, if she was to message me too much, I'd definitely have to do something. I clicked on it and it's the message I saw first.

'Told you. Call me.'

I frowned more and scrolled down to see the picture. It was Olivia wearing a wedding dress. I had no idea where the picture came from and I knew that I should try to find details on the picture that would give me clues but all I could focus on was her. Something jumped in my chest but unlike what Heidi probably thought, it was not sadness that I felt when I looked at that picture. I was pretty sure Heidi had sent that to me just to hurt me or start something between Olivia and I but I didn't care. All I cared about was all the thoughts running through in my mind. She looked incredible. She looked so beautiful I felt like I was witnessing something I was not supposed to, as if I was the future husband and that I was not allowed to see her in her wedding dress before she walked down the altar. I felt myself tear up and brought my hand to cover my mouth, swallowing hard and blinking a few times.

I knew Olivia was not sure she was going to get married to Dylan yet and for now, it was enough for me. I also knew she had to go through with the wedding plan and even if it hurt, it was still legit. I could wait a few weeks, right? After all, she waited years for me and never gave up.

"Olivia was shopping for her wedding dress today?" I just asked, my eyes glued to the picture.

"Yea, she was going with Julie and El." Louis confirmed as I shook my head. "Are you mad?"

"Mad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and looking up at him. "No, I'm just.. she looks amazing."

I turned my phone and Louis moved closer to check the picture before moving back and leaning against the couch again. I turned the screen to me again and sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing them roughly.

"So which picture do you prefer?" Louis asked with a smirk, making me roll my eyes.

"You want to know if my lust for her is stronger than my love for her?" I just asked. "The answer is no. I just feel a bit guilty for even seeing the one with the wedding dress."

"Who sent it to you?"

"Heidi." I replied with a grimace, making Louis roll his eyes.

"Never liked this girl. No idea what you saw in her. But she did that to hurt you, clearly."

"Well it doesn't, it just makes me want to..." I shook my head, searching for my words. "It makes me want to marry her."

With a chuckle, Louis moved closer to me again, his eyebrows raised in surprise and a small smile playing across his lips.

"Excuse me you said what?"

"I want to marry her. You know, have kids, live together, plan an actual future..."

"Who are you and what did you do with me mate?"

"Shut up!" I groaned before chuckling, throwing the untouched bag of chips at him.

He just caught it, opened it and took a handful of chips that he brought to his mouth.

"Yuh shoo tah uh." he muttered as I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to swallow. "You really should tell her." he repeated.

"I don't know how to tell her I love her anymore. I don't know how to prove to her that she's the only one I need and that I'll never break her heart again. That I will never leave, no matter what happens."

I knew I was getting drunk by the minute but I still grabbed my glass and poured more alcohol in it without checking from which bottle it was from. I drank it as I shook my leg, racking my brain to find a way to show her that I meant it. I jumped off the couch and felt suddenly dizzy and held myself on the couch, making Louis laugh.

"Mate, sit back down, you're drunk."

"Nooo no, I know how to make her realize how much she means to me!"

Louis frowned but I ignored him, rushing to my room and searching through a box of my old stuff. It took me about ten minutes but I finally found an old letter Olivia had written me when we were teens and brought it back, giving it to Louis with a big smile. I stood next to him with a large smile as he read it and finally, he looked up at me and chuckled.

"Okay she wrote you letters like that and you didn't know she was in love with you?" he just said with an other chuckle. "Mate, you need someone to hit you behind the head. I can do it if you want me to."

"No, Tommo. You don't get it." I grabbed the paper from his hands and turned it around, pointing at the bottom. "There's her name. In her own handwriting."

Louis frowned, then realized and finally, his eyes got bigger and he got up, grabbing both my shoulders and raising his eyebrows before shaking me slightly.

"Niall, you never ever wanted a tattoo in your life!" he pointed out. "Besides, you're drunk, no one will agree to tattoo you!"

"Oh but you know tattoo artists that will anyway yea? I'm counting on you!"

He stared at me for a few minutes and I brought my hands together in a way to beg him. He ended up rolling his eyes with a smile, making mine grow even more.

"Fine! But if you regret it tomorrow, don't you fucking blame me!"

I barely remembered anything, from the way the needles felt to the final result but when Louis drove us back home, he kept glancing at me. The window was down and the cool wind of the night helped me sober up. I still didn't regret it but I knew it was a possibility when I'd wake up. I'd deal with it in the morning though, I was getting a bit too tired to think about it.

"Did it hurt?"

"Not really. Perhaps I was too drunk to feel it." I replied with a shrug, leaning my head on the seat. "You think she'll realize how much I love her with that tattoo?"

"First off, you're gonna have to show her. It's super small, and it's in a spot no one can see unless you're naked I mean, why did you want it there?" Louis frowned before shaking his head. "Anyway, not the point. She already knows you love her. So do I think this tattoo will suddenly bring her trust in you back? No. But it'll definitely entertain her."

I groaned again. "Shut up."

"Hey, I'm just so happy I got to witness that once in my life. Pretty sure it's the only tattoo you'll ever get. It's an honor for me, thank you, Neil."

"I hate you."

He was right, I had chosen a spot no one could see, at the top of my thigh, near my stomach. I've never been a fan of tattoos and I couldn't find a place to put it that wouldn't be obvious and the only other places that people never see would have given her a very wrong impression of my intentions. I could feel it burn on my skin and unlike what I thought, It didn't make me feel weird. Louis was right, it was a very small tattoo, not worth writing home about, but everyone who knew me was aware that it did mean something.

Louis parked and we walked inside in silence but he stopped near the door and patted my shoulder gently.

"I think I'm gonna leave." he just said in a low tone. "Do you need help to clean or anything?"

I shook my head and grabbed my phone, checking her picture again and surprisingly, it was the wedding dress one. I pressed my lips together and Louis moved closer, his hand squeezing my shoulder this time.

"Do you want me to call her for you?" he asked in a gentle tone. "Maybe she'd want to spend the night here? I'll even give her a ride if she wants."

I looked at my friend and felt a wave of affection for him. Knowing he was there for me and that he cared made me feel better. When I broke up with Olivia, Louis had disappeared and he hadn't been much present until I ran into her again. Now, it felt like he was back in my life for real and I liked it.

"I don't know..."

I was not sure. I wanted her with me, and the craving was intense, but I didn't want her to feel like she had to take care of me again. Still, the thought of holding her in my arms was so hard it made a shiver cross my back.

"I started writing songs for a new album." I let out randomly. "All the fucking songs are about her."

Louis looked at me for a few seconds and sighed. "Tell her, Niall. Do it." He grabbed his phone and clicked on something before bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey love, I'm with Niall right now and he really wants to see you." Louis looked up at me as I rolled my eyes and he smirked. "Why didn't he call you himself?" He took the phone away from his mouth and whispered to me. "She says you never replied to her last text message."

I closed my eyes, remembering the nude she sent me and let out a low curse word, feeling suddenly like an ass and hoping she didn't think I didn't enjoy looking at her naked.

"No darling," Louis continued. "He was too shy to call you. And he didn't answer your text because he was too busy jerking off to it."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and hit his arm a bit roughly but it only made him smile more. I closed my eyes and grunted low, hearing Louis say a bunch of 'Mmhm''s before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"She'll be there in half an hour." he sent me a satisfied smile. "I mean she said 15 minutes but, you know her."

I remained motionless for a few seconds, just looking at my friend, and finally, I brought him into a hug that he quickly answered. I moved my chin down, trying not to cry, and just closed my eyes.

"I know you love her, mate. And I think you two are soulmates." he admitted in a low tone. "Fight for it. Get her back. And then, never let her go."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan writing #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #here is to louis being an amazing friend as usual :)

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farklelucas · 7 years

Note

Brisaac + 13

this! pairing! is! so! Good!!! also idk which ‘13′ this was… it could have been from one of two ask memes…. so im just gonna combine them both.

brisaac & journalist, news blogger, gossip blogger, etc. AU & “kiss me”

send me a sentence prompt & a pairing OR send me an au prompt and a pairing (just clarify which one lol bc im a mess)

It’s been a shitty day, he decides. Satomi just called him into her office, said Hidden Things needed an update or it was going to get the boot. To be fair, he has no idea how he and Hayden have kept the blog going this long. Probably not many people are be interested in them writing in depth articles about true crime, giving their opinions and explaining various theories. But still. It’s hard to take criticism sometimes, especially for something you’ve put your heart and soul into. So he’s drowning his sorrows in coffee and going back to the drawing board.

Man, Hayden is gonna be pissed.

“Brett!”

Brett turns on his heel to see one of his coworkers sprinting towards him. Isaac, he thinks. Curly blonde hair, sharp jaw, around the same height as him. Handsome. Brett’s seen him around the office before, but Brett works on Hidden Things and he’s pretty sure Isaac works in the entertainment department, so they don’t typically cross paths. Brett smiles. “Hey,” he says. “Isaac, right?”

“That’s right,” Isaac says.

“What can I do for you?”

Isaac smiles, a broad and flattering thing. “Nothing. Just wanted to say I liked your piece today on the Menendez murders.”

Brett raises an eyebrow. “You read our posts?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Isaac says. “Of course. It’s super entertaining.”

That’s ironic. The guy with the popular blog likes the lame one. Brett huffs, a half laugh, and goes back to pouring his coffee. “Well, you seem to be the only one.” He nods to the coffee pot and Isaac shrugs, so Brett gets him a mug and pours him some too.

Isaac drinks his new mug, which reads “I’m Here for 2 Things: Writing Articles and Drinking Coffee. I Just Finished All My Articles.” Sometimes Brett hates working here.

“Anyway,” Isaac says, between sips, “I love your stuff. You and Hayden have such great chemistry and it’s all so interesting.”

Brett chuckles. “Says the man who writes articles with Stiles. You guys are hilarious.”

He means what he says. Isaac and Stiles are probably the funniest people in the office. Stiles’s dumb commentary and Isaac’s neverending suffering make for great writing. Add in their stupid graphics and wacky rating system (two and a half alligators, one peach emoji, ten tips of the hat) and they’re ridiculously popular. “Oh, thanks,” Isaac says, grinning.

Brett shrugs and says, “Probably doesn’t mean much from the true crime guy, but hey.”

Isaac laughs and opens his mouth to say something else, but stops mid-breath. His mouth snaps shut, his eyes widen, and he mutters, “Oh shit.”

“What?” Brett asks.

“Uh, nothing. Just, uh, my ex is right over there, and we just caught eyes and now I’m in deep shit if he comes over.”

Brett looks over. The only person looking in their direction is a man - tall, lanky, salt and pepper hair. Brett knows who he is instantly - the head of their whole branch. “Holy shit, dude, you dated Chris Argent?”

Isaac winces, but keeps his eyes on the floor. “Uh, yep. Not a very proud moment in my life. I was into older guys, he was there, but - doesn’t matter. He’s the worst and he thinks I’m still into him so he likes to just come over and talk to me from time to time.”

What a sleaze. Brett glances over out of the corner of his eye and, sure enough, Chris Argent is headed their way. He takes a deep breath and turns to Isaac. “Kiss me.”

Isaac opens his eyes wide. “What?”

“He thinks you’re still into him? Well, he can get fucked. Kiss me and maybe he’ll go away.”

Isaac glances back at Chris and bites his lip. “Uh, I don’t… know…”

There’s a pause and Brett shrugs. “Hey, forget it. I just thought you were pretty cute and wanted to help. But if you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it.”

Isaac glances back to Brett and smiles. “Here goes nothing, I guess.” Then he leans in and presses his mouth squarely to Brett’s.

It’s not magical, or anything, like he’s been waiting his whole life for it. But Isaac is very cute and his mouth is very nice. He gingerly puts a hand on Isaac’s waist and registers somewhere in the background that Isaac puts a hand on his hip.

Suddenly, someone clears their throat. They pull apart to both look over to Chris Argent, who’s looking at them with a furrowed brow. “Isaac,” he says coolly. “And…?”

Brett smiles cordially. “Brett, sir,” he says. “Brett Talbot. I work on Hidden Things with Hayden Romero, under Satomi.”

Chris just nods and turns his attention to Isaac, who smiles tightly. “Mister Argent,” he says.

“Isaac, how delightful to see that you’ve made a new friend in the office. But you might want to tone down the PDA.”

“What, because inter-office relationships are prohibited?” Isaac asks, unimpressed. Holy shit. He’s less dorky and more badass then Brett thought.

Chris clears his throat. “Right,” he says. “Well, we just don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.”

Brett rolls his eyes and, boldly, grab Isaac’s hand. Luckily Isaac just squeezes in return. “Well, might want to tell that to Erica, who is currently sitting on Boyd’s lap and kissing the spot right behind his ear that makes him go nuts.” He raises an eyebrow. “Unless it’s… just us that you have a problem with.”

That makes Chris squirm. “No, not at all,” he mutters. “Carry on.” Then he turns on his heel and leaves the kitchenette.

Brett drops Isaac’s hand and turns to him. Isaac beams. “Thanks, Brett,” he says. “I owe you one.”

“You could… owe me dinner?” Brett suggests.

Isaac laughs. “Sure, dinner it is,” Isaac says. Then he puts the mug down and backs out of the room, smiling. Maybe not so shitty of a day, after all.

#this pairing is so inspired thank u anon #brisaac #teen wolf #katie writes #chrisaac mention #anonymous #what kind of woman doesnt have an ask

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