#i am on a mission to literally only be soft about gus

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

As the years went on and her father got older, Jellylorum noted with no small amount of concern how easily he was slipping into depression - being isolated from his family, unable to travel long distances, the old theatre's once overflowing department dwindled down to near nothing, Gus was beginning to spend more of his time alone, and for such an extroverted fellow, it wasn't treating him well at all. He was finding it more difficult to perform, claiming no one had interest. His students had all grown and moved on and had not been replaced. His children had grown and moved on, and they visited- of course they did, Jelly was there wasn't she? - but it never seemed enough; they were always busy with their own lives. He visited with his surviving friends more often, but even that didn't seem to truly bring him any lasting happiness once they'd all gone their separate ways. He would return, slightly more tipsy than before, to his wandering and muttering and sleeping the day away. He'd put a smile on for her, strained ever so slightly at the corners, and even his excitable, cheerful greetings dwindled. He seemed to be lost in a general shell of performing oneself day to day. Surviving - Jellylorum recalled her father saying to her once - not living.

The one thing, she'd noticed, that seemed to genuinely cheer him up were when visitors came to him. Specifically, and this was met with no ignorance of irony on Jellylorum's part, smaller visitors. They were his favorites, though his general attitude would wholly suggest otherwise. He'd ask after them, occasionally, casually, as though he hardly cared for the answer. But he did - Jellylorum noticed when his ears perked with interest when she mentioned she was bringing the kittens on Sunday after lunch. Perhaps she shouldn't have truly been surprised; her father had always been far more of a kitten at heart than perhaps was good for him. Of course he wanted them around.

After his first stroke left him quiet, foggy and numb on most of his left side, Jellylorum noted how the depression that had once only been a slow fade to grey wash was now in full swing, and how he'd withdrawn so suddenly, it was as though he'd become another cat entirely when he was brought home. His brow had settled into a stern and serious line; he'd snapped at her more than once; he didn't seem fully in control of what he said or how he was saying it. Even the promise that he would get better with time seemed to do little for his mood.

Jelly was at a loss; so she figured an old sure fire was the way to go.

Tumblebrutus had been young and boisterous then, not fully understanding when his father took him aside to tell him what had happened. All he'd known for certain was that he'd needed to promise to be "gentle", that grandpa couldn't use his left paw too well, and that he might look and act different than before. Tumblebrutus paid that no particular mind; Grandpa Gus had always acted weird. He hoped maybe he knew a story with airplanes in it; Tumble had become very fond of airplanes.

He'd wandered into the dim room with his toys in his bag and his dad just behind him, ignoring the awkward, stilted conversation and making a beeline towards Gus' bed.

"What's this, then?" Gus had grumbled, peering suspiciously at his grandson.

"Tumble's come to visit - isn't that nice, dad?"

Gus had muttered something unintelligible, but he did not take his eyes from the kitten.

Tumble paused by the raised platform, unaware of how his father and aunt were observing their interaction. He almost asked for help up, but, after a moment of consideration, held out his paw expectantly instead. Curious, Gus returned the gesture.

"Hold my bag, Grandpa, I can get up all by myself now," he'd said, hoisting the sling up into the paw Gus could use (he had been listening afterall) so he could crawl up next to him, immediately launching into all the things he'd seen on their way over.

And, for the first time in days, Gus had smiled. And talked. And laughed.

And Jelly sighed with relief.

*-*-*

Eventually, Gus regained some semblance of normalcy, though one ear had been permanently deafened and his paws still shook. He'd started to agree to more things, sick to death of staying put. His mood had softened as well, quite considerably, though the frequent visits from his grandchildren had done wonders for cranking it back up again.

However, when they figured that the gaps in his memory were no longer merely superficial or general forgetfulness (Him tilting his head and asking Jelly where his mother was should have been their first indication), it was as though they'd taken several steps back again.

Jelly noted how it was becoming more and more important that Gus was not isolated, despite his consistent requests that he was fine and didn't need her help anymore. This time, Jelly couldn't even fall back on the promise that he would get better; she knew he wouldn't. And Gus, she thinks, knew it too, somewhere deep down. That's what caused the exasperation - now his independence, his familiarity with himself at the very least, were slipping through his fingers as well. Permanently this time. And with that slipping, he had slipped emotionally, too. Now he needed to be properly cared for, and she could tell he'd hated every second of it.

Jellylorum, one to believe in practicality, figured her best plan was to repeat her previous success to boost his mood, though tweaked this time around. It is difficult with familiar faces, she has noticed; for him and them. He struggles to remember, expression dropping when the cat is presented to him and he no longer has the face to match, gets annoyed when he cannot. This strains the visit before it even begins. And it is hard on them, of course it is, that Gus seems to look through them more frequently now; she knew better than anyone, and she was the one he recognized the most.

This time, Jellylorum figured the best course was familiarity in action. Tumblebrutus and Etcetera were a touch too old for what she was planning, though he seemed to enjoy their company well enough so long as he wasn't frustrated with minor details like who they were. No, this perhaps was a good opportunity for the newest member of the Tribe to be acquainted with the eldest - that was always a special and valued time and tradition; now perhaps more than ever.

And thankfully, Demeter had readily agreed.

When Jellylorum tells Gus now he has a special visitor, he makes no effort to hide how his face lights up. He asks who they are, plays along when she asks him to guess (though the names he pulls out haven't even been thought about in years), actually comes down from his window to prod her, asking if it was Sunday. She laughs; settles him down and tells him to wait.

He tilted his head curiously when Demeter entered, a tiny body curled in her arms. Gus looked flabbergasted, as though that were the last thing he expected. "That's a baby," he muttered under his breath.

"It is. She's here to see you."

Gus inhaled, an expression on his face she thought perhaps they'd lost somewhere in the fog. "Oh. Marvelous."

Demeter held Sillabub out for his inspection and he looked...overwhelmed a moment. Glancing about, up at her, then Jelly, then Sillabub; down at himself, then where they were. He hesitantly sniffed her, recoiled when she shifted. Demeter and Jellylorum watched the reaction carefully, ready to step in should anything happen. But Gus just nodded and leaned back, looking at her expectantly.

"Did you want to hold her?"

"If I may?"

Sillabub mewls when placed in his arms, echoed by a very soft, very minded: "My goodness."

He asked after her name; he will not remember it.

Jellylorum watched as he shifted the kitten to his better side, as though he were hardly thinking of it. Like he were doing it completely by memory; by feeling.

"Mind her head," Demeter began nervously. Jelly lightly laid a paw on her shoulder in reassurance.

Gus chuckled; strained and low, but still warm. "Mind her head," he parroted, patting the kitten's back. "Listen to her - I've been minding kittens before you were born. I can take care of it. I have three of them, you know."

Demeter, bless her, smiled and sat back down. "Three of them?"

"Indeed," Gus drawled, touching a little paw. "They're grown now. But I remember them just like this. They'll come to visit soon, I think."

He ignores the other queens, then, as though it were just the two of them on their own in that old hall. He starts to sing to her in the quiet, gentle sigh his voice had become, and Sillabub opens her wide eyes and listens intently.

And - for the first time in a long time - the smile Gus gives Jellylorum looks just like her father again. Controlled, happy, just shy of mischevious.

She will miss that the most, she thinks.

#Gus the Theatre Cat #Jellylorum #Demeter #Tumblebrutus #Sillabub #my fanfic #fanfiction #uh...yeah #did you know...that generational friendships between children and elders has actually been proven #to be incredibly beneficial to the mental and physical well being of both groups? #did you know that gentler dementia patients will flourish under the responsibility (even simulated) of something to care for? #yeah...yeah... #i am on a mission to literally only be soft about gus #anyway what the hell is this idk

[kfawkes]

If These Walls Could Talk (Part 4) - [Eggsy Unwin x Reader]

[HI! I am SO sorry I have been so bad at updating this week. But here we goooo, an update for If These Walls Could Talk!  I have been home technically for the last few days but I have been anything but not busy lol. So bare with me ;.; and please forgive me!!! I am sadly going to be out of town tomorrow- Monday for work in Mexico, so I doubt I will be getting an update out :( I love you guys though and have been working just not as much as I’d like to be, and I’m just so SLEEPY SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Especially you @ttdlg ;.; <3 

Pairing: Eggsy x f!Reader

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: Cursing, angst :) potential cheating.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

The walk across the street was somehow longer and more excruciating than anything thus far. Each shallow footstep brought you closer and closer to their door, yeah… but it also brought you closer and closer to the edge. Closer to something you weren’t sure you were ready for… that you’d ever be ready for. But the mission came first, and it would always come first. Your feelings however stupid or justified, however right or wrong… they would have to wait.

Saving the world was the priority, everything else would be second, so you kept walking.

But you couldn’t help but wonder what happens when your world stops being a place. When it stops being where you live and breathe… You wondered what happens when your world stops being the literal planet you call home or the copious amounts of work you surrounded yourself in…

What happens when your world stops being all of those things, and all of those billions of people, and starts becoming just one person… what the hell happens then?

Stop. It’s just this damn mission… it’s just the mission…

Only you didn’t even believe the lies you silently preached to yourself like a prayer. You knew you couldn’t blame all of those feelings on the mission, or any mission before it. Maybe those missions helped, but there was something else there. Something more than the undeniable attraction, something more than the bright luminescent connection… the one you felt swimming through your veins alongside the blood in them even now.

No, you absolutely couldn’t, and there was no version of yourself that could even pretend.

This, whatever this was went far beyond any game you had to play or any job you two had to do. Whatever this was— it was deep seeded, and rooted as far down inside you as you could feel. But it was wrong. It was oh so wrong, and you were the only one to blame in all of this… It was your fault, and whatever happened would be your fault. Except how could something feel so fucking perfect… how could you feel so complete— so whole when you were with him if it was all wrong?

You swallowed looking to Eggsy with a sad smile, one that didn’t stretch to your eyes and in response his own lowered somberly. You two stopped at the end of the walkway, the sounds of the party echoing through the air like the soft breeze as your unsaid words bounced between each other. The smell of meats, and other foods tickling your noses lightly as you tried to steady your rampant hearts.

“Hey,” he said quietly, stepping closer as his hand slid to your arm. When he touched you a soft static chill spread, and you drew your eyes to his almost reluctantly. “Everythin’s gonna be alright.”

You nodded hesitantly, swallowing again as a more believable smile spread your bright pink lips. He pulled you into a hug then which surprised you a little, but you welcomed his embrace like the warmth of a blanket. And when he did you pressed your nose into his chest, taking in a deep breath of his cologne and skin as you tightened your grasp around him; your finger’s pulling small fists full of his hoodie as you closed your eyes, nuzzling closer.

Eggsy rested his chin atop your head softly, his arms wrapped firmly and so perfectly around your shoulders. “We got this shit, yeah?” he pulled his chin from your head for a moment, still holding you just as close as before as he locked eyes with you again.

“Yeah. We got this shit.“ but you weren’t sure you did. You weren’t sure what he even meant by ‘okay’ either.

Was Eggsy’s version of okay the same as yours? Was his version of okay the two of you pressed skin to skin back in the house you were playing home in… or was it what yours should have been: You back with Andrew, and him back with Tilde or Roxy even… just someone available.

Someone that could give him what he deserved, not some would be cheat in an ugly 100 dollar skirt…

You didn’t say anything, and neither did he and you still didn’t know what he meant but his hand slid to your chin again and it was getting harder and harder to tell whether or not these displays were for everyone else or just for you two.

“Damn, you guys are cute…” Xander called quietly from the door, his face was a mix of mushy and a kind of happy sad where he looked like one of those puppies begging for food. He shook his head softly from side to side as a hand slid to rest over his heart.

The two of you released soft almost embarrassed chuckles at the kind intrusion as you stepped towards the door ready to be the couple you almost forgot you weren’t; you and Eggsy’s hands sliding and linking perfectly together as if pulled by a magnet, fooling even you.

“Marv, look how cute they are… fucking beautiful.” he spoke lightly and you couldn’t help but turn a lovely shade of red.

“Yes, honey… they’re adorable. Adorable and definitely making me look bad.” Marvin joked as a fake frown slipped before a playful wink at the two of you. He stepped forward kissing his husband sweetly on the cheek before continuing through the house towards what you could only assume would be the kitchen.

“Oh— god, I’m so rude, please come in!” Xander stepped aside, offering you a warm welcome to their home when he realized you were standing rather awkwardly before him. He was wearing a plaid shirt with tight black pants cuffed just above the ankle, revealing a pair of dinosaur socks. His slightly scruffy jeans were held up by another pair of thin black suspenders, and was clearly a fashion choice because when you said those pants were tight, you meant tight.

“This way!” he said again excitedly as you two stepped closely behind still hand in hand. Eggsy running soft circles on the inside of your palm with the pad of his thumb as he follow your lead. You tossed him a soft smile before your grand entrance, and eyes saying all you could not.

“Everyo—“ Xander started, but when no one listened he stopped, pressing the tip of his tongue between his teeth. “Gu—people! Shut the hell up.” he said louder this time then offered an innocent smile as eyes finally slid towards you two. Suddenly you felt like you were at the first day of school having to introduce yourself and say your favorite color or the name of your imaginary friend.

“My husband the charmer, everyone.” Marvin piped in happily as he continued towards the grill in the back corner, arms full of more meats than you could count. This was all very American for being in Germany, but you wrote it off to the hosts being from the states and were more than happy to eat free food.

A wave of laughter left the mouths of nearly everyone present, and even though you two played the part of shy new couple you used this opportunity to scan every face around you carefully. You didn’t know much about your target unfortunately other than he was a he, lived in this neighborhood, wasn’t married and had a crescent shaped scar on the left side of his ribcage… It wasn’t a lot to go on, and the last would be harder than the others to confirm, but you could worry about that later.

After Xander introduced you he joined Marvin by the grill leaving you two to mingle and meet the neighbors like you’d been almost patiently waiting for. This opportunity couldn’t have been better with nearly the whole neighborhood being in attendance. But if this was such a perfect opportunity, and if your chances of success were so high you could almost taste them… then why the hell couldn’t you focus? Why the hell weren’t you happy…

When you looked to your far too handsome companion, and noticed the way he was looking at you you didn’t have to ask again. No, you knew why you maybe, sort of, (okay, absolutely) didn’t want to find the guy…

You didn’t want to find him because at the end of all of this your world would disappear, whether you stopped the big bad or not.

–Part 5 soon!

Tags: @ttdlg ,  @marvelmakeuplover , @thesandbeneathmytoes, @thebearwitch @eggsy-unwinnn @mediocre-koalaty @taronegertonlover

#Eggsy Unwin #Eggsy Imagine #Eggsy x Reader #Eggsy Unwin x Reader #Kingsman #fic #prompt #ask #answered #fawkes talks #eggsystential crisis #this is so late i'm so sorry #PLEASE FORGIVE #<3