#i cant tell if i think hes attractive or i want to be him

[dump-troy-marry-me]

"you know i'd do anything you did" goddddd just say youre in love just say you love him

#i watch regional holiday music mostly for that line fksj #also the fact that abeds been thinking abt ways to ger around troy not being able to celebrate christmas #its. ok. not to get into my whole gay troy truther thing but #troy is v clearly not content with his religion #he wants to celebrate christmas and his birthday and he feels constricted #but being raised as a JW is important to his identity as a straight man #its an ingrained belief system that tells him what he has to be: straight #hes not ready to denounce that and have to come to terms w his attraction #so he cant just celebrate christmas for no reason #and abed knows that. and knows that they have to work around it #so he finds a loophole. a way around it. a way to give troy a bit of relief #without having to confront what hes not ready to confront #also love this episode for the ending tbh #its so sweet #community #community tv #nbc community #troy barnes #abed nadir #trobed

[lobpoints]

some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig

Click ALT if you can't read the text

#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry) #also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it #there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved #into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop #which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last #so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech #and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway #and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern #this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact #and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet #which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality #it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again #I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah #and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older #which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually #growing up #while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop #like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like #no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry #ok im being a hater again #there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh

[bloggirl8842]

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my high school crush. It was this hugeee devastating thing to me bc I’d grown up w the guy and it was this torch I carried for three years so publicly and for no reason other than to have a hobby, though it started with what I still think was genuine chemistry (or the potential for it), and coming out of it made me shut off that part of myself almost entirely bc I thought I just became an issue when I felt that sort of affection but it’s all so crazy! I was mentioning this to my therapist as like blah blah blah I didn’t date growing up, I got a huge crush on my friend and I knew I didn’t have a chance so I pushed him away and he got a girlfriend and we didn’t really talk after that but I kept the crush isn’t that so weird, and she was like “wait no you did have a chance. You were friends and you pushed him away to retreat into fantasy but you could’ve tried to actually go after him or even just maintained the friendship after his relationship began.” And that’s been ringing in my head for a MONTH because it’s true and he and I weren’t even fully friends but we had the potential to be like we had inside jokes we admired each other’s work and I just cut any chance of that off because I was so freaked! I can distinctly recall myself avoiding chances at connecting! I wish I’d pursued that friendship I don’t think it would’ve been a big important thing or that we would’ve been close but I think it would’ve at least been nice

#it’s definitely too late now I followed him on ig once and he would not follow me back. really wrird bc his little brother does nd i dont #talk to that guy i just like his art #he’s still v sweet though. i ran into him a few years ago on the street and he walked around w me for an hour and kept missing his bus to go #home bc he wanted to keep talking. he also told me his deepest fear and made me tell him mine (mine was being alone) and i meant being alone #in a general no friends no loved ones no understanding way but he went ‘’aww im sure youll find somebody’’ and i was like i should kill you #for that. did you just assume im an incel. i mean i WAS an incel but come on #i wonder if he knew. he couldn’t have not known. worst part of all it was that i didnt even really like him like that after the first six #months i just did not get how any of this attraction love relationship stuff worked and didnt want to try anything real w anyone else #god this is gonna be a regret of mine for awhile i think we couldve been really fun friends 😭 #and instead i used the idea of him to just fuck my brain up #okay time to nap I cant stare at this one regret again im always moving! i really had not thought about it in years before like this month

[steelycunt]

Hi! Why is it so hard to fancast Remus? Is it because he is just some guy and most fancasts are famous people? Anyway I would like to put fort Levan Gelbakhiani and also recommend the film “And then we danced” cause its beautiful!!!

hey!! for me personally its hard because i can't imagine clear faces when reading/writing--i can imagine facial features, but i can't picture them all on one cohesive face (and the features i do imagine are sort of sketchy/cartoonish rather than that realistic), so its like trying to match a real person to a vague blur of an image in my mind that is incredibly specific but also v hard to pin down. i rambled in the next bit a little so i'll put it under the cut xox

more generally, the reason i find most of the common ones so terrible is because they're usually brown-haired extra conventionally attractive celebrities who are either models or looks like models. and i do not think he was an especially conventionally attractive guy at all i think he looked like a normal guy. in fact i think he was kind of ugly. i don't care that much about canon but sirius is specifically referred to as handsome, where remus isnt, ever, so i just don't really understand where it comes from. i also feel like a lot of these fancasts that are sooo desperate to make every character ridiculously hot as if otherwise they are not convincing love interests / interesting or redeemable characters / of any value as elements of a narrative (as if any deviation from the beauty standard is a sin that renders a literal fictional character unworthy of any further discussion) are just kinda fucking weird lol. idk why average looking people are so frightening to read or write about to some people but yeah :-/ soooo sorry anon to hijack your ask to go off on a tangent like that i know its really not that deep!! i've just massively overthought my answers to your questions xx

in reference to gelbakhiani--i KNEW i recognised that name and i realise now i think another anon way back mentioned him!! he's not QUITE perfect for me but i remember him being a pleasant surprise when i googled him the first time and he was a pleasant surprise this time too xx you understand the assignment!! im not mad about it!! in terms of the individual features i dont have many personal criticisms at all!! ++ also also thank you for the rec!! <3

#sounds dumb but soon as u show me ur garfield/laughton scott/claflin r fancast i hav to disregard any future thoughts #u have on his character like. you dont know him you dont get him youve just proven that to the class. i literally made him up #u gotta make up ur mind was r bitchless or not. because if he was bitchless u cant tell me he looked like andrew garfield. do u get that! #'he was this shy sort of plain bookworm and only sirius saw how attractive he really was :-( also he looked like this model i saw in this #calvin klein shoot :-(' do you hear yourself #extra points when they're referring to these characters as teens. 'this twenty-seven year old man with a six pack is s when he's 16' is he. #also this is just me but i dont want to read about a cast of people who are all unbearably unrealistically hot. like all this aside it #just doesnt interest me. im just bored sry. also u dont have 2 b physically conventionally attractive 2 b hot anyway. its a state of mind #long and short of it is i just think if characters + their relationships w each other + their romantic connections are only interesting or #convincing to you if they're both the definition of the beauty standard...are those characters really that interesting. are they really #that well written. are they really that developed. hm #like its fine if they're not!! but we can admit that they're not. #SO SORRY once again for the long answer anon xx did not mean to hijack your ask like that xx mwah xx #anon #telegram #final psa this is just my opinion !! u are free to do as you please this is just my explanation for why *i* do what i do xx

[bi-demon-ium]

ive been trying to take these as if they’re in good faith but like. im sorry if i get one (1) more ask about mr benedict wanting to boink miss perumal im going to mcfucking lose it

#1. why does it need to be a straight romance why does it need to be a romance at all like im not saying you cant have ships obviously but li #like. THAT IS NOT WHY HE DID THE THINGS HE DID. #2. OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT WHY HE DID THE THINGS HE DID IT ISNT IT ISNT IT ISNT #WHY WOULD HE BE THINKING OF IT AS A DATE WHEN HE IS EXPLAINING *WHY HER CHILD/STUDENT IS IN DANGER AND ABOUT HIS MISSION AND HIS EVIL TWIN* #AND LIKE. NO . NO THAT ISNT WHY HE CHANGED HIS MIND. WHY WOULD HIM WANTING TO BOINK HER--WHICH HE D O E S N T--CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT SOMETHI #SOMETHING THAT IMPORTANT? YOU REALLY THINK HE'S THAT SHALLOW? ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HES SHOWN NO INDICATIONS OF ATTRACTION TO ANYONE LET AL #LET ALONE SPECIFICALLY HER? IM GOING TO EXPLODE YOU WITH MY MIND. #HE CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT THE MISSION BC HE WAS ALREADY SHOWN TO HAVE A FUCK TON OF GUILT AND SELF DOUBT ABOUT SENDING THEM IN THE FIRST PLA #PLACE. AND HAVING SOMEONE PERSONALLY CLOSE TO ONE OF THEM TELL HIM OFF OUT OF WORRY PUSHED HIM OVER THE EDGE HE WAS *ALREADY ON* #HE WAS ALREADY WORRIED HE WASNT DOING THE RGIHT THING! ALREADY GUILTY ABOUT PUTTING TEHM IN DANGER! IT WASNT! #BECAUSE! HE WANTED! TO BOINK HER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #LIKE THAT JUST ISNT WHAT IS HAPPENING IT ISNT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU #ARE YOU WATCHING THE SAME SHOW? IS THIS ONE PERSON SENDING THESE? OR THE PERSON I ALREADY BLOCKED BUT USING A VPN? OR DO MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAV #HAVE SUCH AN INCORRECT ICY COLD TAKE #and i mean hes like over a decade older than her and technically consenting adults blah blah but it feels WEIRD not to mention again! they j #they just! they dont! they dont have romantic tension or whatever! what are you talking about! #and i mean i get having a ship god knows milligan and nicholas certainly dont necessarily have canonical romantic tension (although ive neve #never claimed they do! or that that's the reason either of them did anything!) but like. WHAT #WHY THESE TWO #WHAT IS HAPPENING #if you MUST ship miss perumal with someone rhonda is right there i am just saying. #but REGARDLESS. #ive lost my patience im sorry i cant do it anymore crying shaking and throwing up my crops are wilting #theyre NOT going to kiss i hate this so much #if i see one more ask about this i am simply deleting it and then crying for a bit in the bathtub

[hiddenbeks]

hmm. isabeau teaching brynjolf ballroom dances

#thats all. thank u #ch: isabeau #x: isabeau/brynjolf #no thats not all actually. yknow i was just briefly thinking abt these two #doesnt happen often bc they r difficult to think abt bc just like most skyrem npcs. bryn has like zero characterization to work with #like what was his life before the thieves guild what made him join the guild what r his motivations what r his relationships like #all i know is that he's definitely not former nobility like isabeau (or is he. who knows. not me bc bethany esda tells us nothing) #but like lets assume that brynjolf comes from a poor background. knows nothing about ballroom dances. #isabeau prefers to distance herself from her noble background. except when playing the nobility card benefits her lol #but one of the few things from her youth she remembers fondly is attending balls and celebrations and dancing until she was out of breath #and one day when they're at that stage where there is mutual attraction but neither is taking it further bc beau is emotionally stunted #and brynjolf is ????? idk maybe hes oblivious or maybe he thinks he wants to keep it professional idkkkkkk #anyway imagine if u will. one day. beau and bryn sitting together at an empty ragged flagon. everyone else is asleep or just. elsewhere #beau is a lil tipsy and accidentally oversharing abt her past and Reminiscing #she catches herself being Serious and is like haha anyway. wanna learn some traditional breton ballroom dances #for fun. not bc shes into bryn and emotional bc of the tipsiness and wants to be close to him hngnnhgnnhg #its the first time bryn sees beau Genuinely smile and laugh !!! #shes always wearing a fake polite smile but on that day its Real and it reaches her eyes #and shes clinging to bryn laughing bc shes having fun and brynjolf cant dance and she finds it cute. ok. #hm. to me they're kinda like those two cats from that movie... wjat was it. aristocats right. except beau doesnt have kids #or the one with the dogs... lady and the tramp.... #any skyrem mutuals wanna throw some brynjolf headcanons at me btw. i need.. something to work with... please give this man some personality #like. he's loyal to the guild? (why?) skilled thief? not particularly religious? not interested in leading? (why?) thats all i got #cares abt the dragonborn enough to go look for them but does he care abt them as a person or as an asset to the guild. or both. idk idk

[mrfoox]

Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired

#miranda talking shit #Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why #Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im #Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like #But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery. #I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think #I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent #Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way #He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do #It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change? #I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything #Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others #But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong #Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small #I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately. #Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something? #Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone #Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't #Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger #No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn #Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but #Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:

[heeliopheelia]

Can I ask for hcs of enha with an s/o that wears a hip chain? If u cant its totally fine, 😅 just wanted to ask.

Ofc I can, love!! I’m so sorry you had to wait so long, I swear I had this 90% finished months ago but then I went on hiatus before I could bring myself to finish it… hip chains are so hot tho omg 🫶

HEESEUNG would find it so sexy omfg … once he spots the shiny thing - good luck trying to get yourself out of his grip then. if you wear it with low rise jeans – consider him gone. would tell you how hot you look all the damn time and would def snap dozen of photos of you in it

JAY he would not shy away from showing you how much he loves it 🙏 expect a compliment every ten minutes!! he’d love it however you wear it, with whatever outfit you choose. i think he’d appreciate it each and every time bcs that’s just such a cute (and hot) addition to compliment a look!! 

JAKE this mf is on your hips 24/7 💀 bro will not let you BREATHE. only a chainsaw could rip his hands off of you smh. he loves anything you wear (in his opinion you could even make the five-toes shoes look good) but if you add your lil chain on he’d love it even more!!

SUNGHOON is way more subtle and toned down with his admiration for your chain, although he would still love to run his fingers along the cool metal whenever you were the reaching distance ^^ would love to buy you more of them – whichever ones you choose 

SUNOO this man would be so vocal about his obsession with the chain PLS ✋ praises you whenever you’re in his sight, no matter if he’s already done that 7 times before that day… you need to hear about how good you look bae!!

JUNGWON has a whole ass photo album in his phone dedicated to you sporting your hip chain. no he’d find it so attractive im not joking… i personally think he doesn’t really pay much attention to outfits but he would not even once not notice the jewelry on your hip!! he’s such a sucker for it

NIKI wandering hands, wandering hands… i feel like he would like to play with the chain, especially if it has those little charms on it. he’d think it only adds up to your beauty, so he obviously would love it if you wear one!!

#yayy first request done!! #nonnies 🗝₊˚⊹♡ #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen headcanons

[fleshdyke]

shidgehejeghe

#tags contain talk abt rape and very young csa #god im reading a fic rn and it mentioned rape and im just like. in my head all of the sudden #bc i still dont fucking know who it was #i started being really hypersexual at like. 6 or 7 so i’m assuming that’s around when it happened #or at least started #and my friend asked me today ‘why do you never remember anything from camp’ bc we went to the same day camp for years since we were like 6 #and i didnt know how to tell her that i lost most of my memories from before the age of 10 for some reason. probably trauma #so i just said idk haha. but like. even though it’s kinda not a lie bc i dont remember any specifics #i know the general gist of why all my memories are gone right. a mix of rape and child abuse and bullying and whatever else happened #but idk. im still so fucking pissed that i dont know who raped me #like to be completely honest i kind of don’t care that i got raped. i can’t remember it anyways and it doesn’t really affect me that much #but like. im absolutely fucking terrified that whoever did it never got caught. im so fucking scared they’re still doing it to other kids #there was a man that was like. kind of an assistant teacher ig in my preschool and kindergarten that got fired for feeling up a kid #and i’m desperately hoping it was him #bc he got fired. he got consequences. not enough but he did. and he cant do that to anyone else now #like. a part of me couldnt care less. its in the past and it doesnt really affect me anymore so idc. i know its not my fault i cant remember #it so i know i can’t really blame myself #and a part of me is just so fucking scared. bc idk if they’re still out there or not. and im absolutely terrified it will happen again #or that no one will ever want me again bc of it or something. bc as much as im not interested i still want people to think im attractive for #some reason. men in particular even though i do not want to reciprocate it at all. i think its the daddy issues #and the last part of me is just so fucking angry. who let this person anywhere near children. why didn’t a single person see the signs. #why me. #idk. a lot of thoughts today #rambles #vent

[faggy--butch]

sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"

theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?

of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.

and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.

anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.

I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men

but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.

being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon

#transandrophobia #asks